Members ericasmom Posted March 9, 2014 Members Report Share Posted March 9, 2014 JOHN DAVID- I am calling your name to tell you how much we hope your BIRTHDAY is filled by love and music and dancing and joy, the joy of that other place where no heartache exists. Sweep into the day today knowing that this is a bittersweet date for your family, one day, more sweet than bitter. Your date brought the love of your Momma's heart to her arms, holding you deeply in her heart for all of time. And I know that the bond you created with her is unbroken. That is the gift of a BIRTHDAY! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted March 9, 2014 Members Report Share Posted March 9, 2014 First...Wade....what a gift....THANK YOU FOR THAT GIFT OF CREATIVITY....for my John David...I did a print screen so I can share it with the family and friends....I will carry a glow all day for that present.... tomorrow....marks his 44th birthday.....44 years ago...on March 9th....I had an appt. at the base clinic in Savannah to have stitches removed from having 2 moles cut off my back...John David was due on March 10th...when I went to sign in....the nurse looked at my chart and told me...'I see you are due tomorrow....babies are never born on the day they are due...so don't call her telling us you are in labor'....well.....around 1 AM...my water broke.....and then I did go into labor.....I was so scared they would turn me away....for I was having a baby on the day it was due.....at last.....I finally had my John David....the name I picked out when I was 12 years old..... I know this in my heart...down deep...I would not trade this grief...for not having him....this shatters my heart...but I am so down on my knees grateful for having him..I would have rather have this hurtful grief....than never having my John David...It is hard to have 'gratitude' when I am paralyzed with this gripping grief...but I will embrace his passing...and still feel blessed to have had him given to me.... maybe that is hard to understand....and I am trying to understand it all, too.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Guest Posted March 9, 2014 Members Report Share Posted March 9, 2014 Susan I will be thinking of you and John David tomorrow, on his birthday. I do understand where you are coming from, We are so blessed to have such beautiful children.I will be back on later. Love to all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members weez Posted March 9, 2014 Members Report Share Posted March 9, 2014 I lost my adult son a month ago. I can't stop crying, and I'm not functioning. I keep asking myself how can I go on without him. Does anybody have suggestions on coping. I'm not coping at all. Thanks for listening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted March 9, 2014 Members Report Share Posted March 9, 2014 Weez, by simply being here asking for assistance, you are proving that you are coping, you are trying to find ways to live and breathe and comprehend this new life. All of this takes time, a lot of time which I know is an abstract concept now. Time still is a strange entity for me and I am over 10 years out from my Daughter dying.The best thing I can give you is to take good care of yourself. Let taking care of you, even though it is the furthest thing from your mind perhaps, let it be the number one thing you do. Making sure that you have had enough liquids is key, crying dries you out and dehydration just makes this horror worse. Try to eat small meals that include protein and fresh fruits or veggies. This may sound meaningless, but again, if you take care of the physical you, it is much better for the spirit and mind of you. There will be nothing easy about losing your Son, but we are all here holding onto you and all those new here. Life goes on even when we really don't want it to or understand why it still can go on when our Beloved is gone from this plane. When you can, please come back and tell us about your Child, tell us what his life was like and whatever you are comfortable sharing. Tell us about you, and likely, you will find others here that say things that will resonate with you and it may feel just a tiny bit like a life-line. One thing we all share is the love of speaking of our Child. We know that we can speak forever about our Child and we encourage you to do so. My heart to you. Susan, I am anxious to see some of your art, and how cool that you met the author Anne Rice/ I met Isabelle Allende' (author) who lost a Daughter and yes, they are able to capture the essence of their Child within their daily work, their writing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Tbearw58 Posted March 9, 2014 Members Report Share Posted March 9, 2014 Weez Sorry for your loss. I lost my 26 year old son 4 months ago and am still numb from it cry everyday. I know the others on here truely care and understand what you are feeling and going through. There is a lot of love and caring here on this site so please come back often and let us know how you are feeling we can stand with each other in this horrible time of our lives and help each other live. Take care of your self and breathe Prayers and love to you and your family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SamDsmom Posted March 9, 2014 Members Report Share Posted March 9, 2014 Weez,I lost my son on September 21, 2013. I wish I had some magic words for you. It is a horrible traumatic situation. We all completely understand and I am right with you. I can tell you that this place is a lifesaver. These people here know more about me now than my family. This is a place of non -judgement and love for each other. Please tell us more about your son when you can. It does help and we would all love to know more about both of you. There are many people who have been here a long time and others like me who are newer. I think the one thing that helped me was Dee always saying, Just breathe. Sometimes that's all we can do. Debbie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Guest Posted March 9, 2014 Members Report Share Posted March 9, 2014 . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted March 9, 2014 Members Report Share Posted March 9, 2014 HAPPY HEAVENLY BIRTHDAY......JOHN DAVID. Weez----I'm sorry for your loss of your dear son. I hope that you can come backto this site and tell us about your dear son when you are ready. Everyone hereknows, firsthand, the sorrow,,pain..and despair that goes with losing a beloved child.Peace to you. Debbie----I hope that you will be able to get some good rest. As you say......this lousyroad we've found ourselves on is indeed like a roller coaster. There's the plunge thatsets our hearts pounding....then we can catch our breath....hopefully.....go along fora time, only to be hit with another plunge that is so frightening. Please just keepcoming to BI. We all need each other on this road. I hope that you can get justicefor your son, Sam. Cherry-----I'm sorry that your husband wants you to be as you were before yourlittle darling Kylie died. I guess that he hates to see you in such a painful and sorrowful state, but the truth is that each person walking this road must proceedat their own pace and timeline. The process of grief cannot be rushed or put ona schedule. Your loss is so very recent......and you need to take the time to takewhatever steps you need to cope. It's a terrible loss you have had, andit will take time for the healing steps to begin to work. Please take care of yourself,and keep coming here to BI. Peace to you, friend. Wade-----Thanks for posting Brookes' poem with such heartfelt words. He wrote:"As time goes by, sorrow wears a gentler face". He must have been introspective andwise beyond his years to write this. His writing must be so bittersweet for you to read.I found a Mother's Day card that my son, Dave, had given me...maybe a couple yearsbefore he died. It said......."From the son you raised with so much love....Happy Mother's Day."I will always keep this card. These things that our beloved children left behind for us arelike golden treasures that we hold close to our hearts. Peace to you. Kate----thanks for the info on the snowy owls. My husband believes that he saw onejust this past week. He was walking out back and happened to pass one of the verylarge pine trees with low-hanging limbs, when out flew a huge bird. Of course it startledhim at first, but he said it was not a hawk....too large of a body. Maybe it was a snowy owl.I did not know that they were being spotted in the lower states, but due to the severeand frigid weather in your area.....it is understandable that they would keep to some areaswith a bit warmer climes. Wise old owls!! Laurie----Thanks for the writing. Good to see your post. Lora----I, too, get behind on reading/posting.......can't seem to catch up completely. Oh well,...we can only do our best. Always good to see Cara's sweet smile. PEACE AND TRANQUILITY TO ALL INDIGOS. Davey&Lisasmom, Sherry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted March 9, 2014 Members Report Share Posted March 9, 2014 Susan, thinking of you today as you near John David's birthday... For you on this special day, love and prayers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lorismom Posted March 9, 2014 Members Report Share Posted March 9, 2014 Weez,I'm glad that you found this site, but sorry for the reason you need to be here. I'm so sorry for the loss of your son. Beyond Indigo has been a lifeline for me as it has helped being here with other grieving parents who have endured the horrific loss of losing their child. I lost my 34-year old daughter, Lori, in 2004. The deep heartache that I felt in the beginning has softened with time, but a part of me will always miss my Lori. Please take care of yourself. You are welcome to read or post anytime you feel that you can. We care and we will listen when you are able to share.Pat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted March 10, 2014 Members Report Share Posted March 10, 2014 I love every 'creative and loving' expression for me and John David....I hold the words close....will be back later...a little emotional...and I have Hunter Bear and 2 of his friends at the house now.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SamDsmom Posted March 10, 2014 Members Report Share Posted March 10, 2014 Weez,The best advice I've had. Like I said it's the only thing that keeps me going. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lovU2themoon Posted March 10, 2014 Members Report Share Posted March 10, 2014 feeling exhausted, 7 months of trying to live with this pain ....7 months since i saw your face, talked to you laughed with you gave you a kiss, wished you the best day ever. wishing us all peace.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SamDsmom Posted March 10, 2014 Members Report Share Posted March 10, 2014 HAPPY HEAVENLY BIRTHDAY JOHN DAVID!!!!!!Susan,Sending warm and positive thoughts to you and your beautiful family today. Knowing that John David is looking down from heaven. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jeff's Mom Posted March 10, 2014 Members Report Share Posted March 10, 2014 Happy Heavenly Birthday,JOHN DAVID. Susan, sending warm thoughts to you and your family that your day will be filled with wonderful memories of your "sonshine" and all the great times spent together. Love, Kate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SamDsmom Posted March 10, 2014 Members Report Share Posted March 10, 2014 A Million Times(Author unknown)You never said I'm leavingYou never said good-byeYou were gone before I knew itAnd only God knew whyA million times we've needed you,A million times we've cried.If love alone could've saved you,You never would have died.In life we loved you dearly,In death we love you still.In our hearts you hold a place,No one else will ever fill.It broke our hearts to lose you,But you didn't go alone.Part of us went with you,The day God took you home Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MissKylie Posted March 10, 2014 Members Report Share Posted March 10, 2014 HAPPY HEAVENLY BIRTHDAY JOHN DAVID ! To Angel John David: Let's make your Mommy Susan remember all the good memories and let her feel all your love for her. - ANGEL Kylie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lovU2themoon Posted March 10, 2014 Members Report Share Posted March 10, 2014 Happy Heavenly Birthday John David!! Weez, i have very little advise, but i do know that the only way i get through each second, minute, day, is knowing i can survive THIS DAY without seeing my son, one day, this day only, and cry, and do what i need to do to get through "this day", not tomorrow, because to think further than one day is full of anxiety and future without my son is still unbearable. Many others have great advise, as their days have added up to many days of surviving this death of our children. Continue to come here, even if just to read, some days that's all i can do is read....But they are here for us....always....never letting me/us down... Ted, love the picture of Nick.. Wanda I miss you soooo much... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted March 10, 2014 Members Report Share Posted March 10, 2014 Wanda----You gave such good advice to Weeze concerning facing this grief road we have no choicebeing on. Just face "this day" and do your best to breath and get through the day.......this is especially true for the early days, weeks, months and times when we feel we can't go on. Trying to look toofar into the future....even one tomorrow seems too impossible to do, so for just "this day" maybe youcan make it through. Very wise words, Wanda.....thanks for posting. Weeze-----Keep coming back to BI when you can. Everyone here knows the pain and agonythat is part of our very being on this journey......everyone understands. Peace to you, friend. Finally getting a day that resembles spring........sunny and 50 degrees !! Yippee ! PEACE & COMFORT TO ALL INDIGOS. Davey&Lisasmom, Sherry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted March 10, 2014 Members Report Share Posted March 10, 2014 Wanda, your six stages of grief posting was right on...it reminded me of what another grieving mom wrote after some of the shock wore off, she wrote, "I think it's referred to as the 'acceptance' stage because it sounds better than 'defeated, I surrender stage'." Your picture of the three of you sitting on the country back road, it was so much a reminder of what my life was with Jesse, also Lane's button-down shirt, Jesse wore a lot of them too....later he got into wearing a lot of wild Hawaiian prints....sometimes different types together... ************************************************ Wade, thinking of you today...know you are processing so many heart wrenching things, not only with your own son, but also the young girl Tiffani... ...but I think so often of him and Brooks being together... thank you ************************************************ Weez, you have come to a very comforting "place", please share when you can... ************************************************Ted, noticed the picture of you and your son...know you are missing Nick so much.... ***********************************************Debbie, ....I'm not sleeping again. Having nightmares.... Yeah, me too...last night was another hard one...too many thoughts and feelings... ********************************************** Sherry, thanks for your post...we too have some better weather...I was able to get into Jesse site finally today...fell flat on my face getting there, but I did it... *********************************************Kate, how are things with you? *********************************************Lora, how is your brother doing? Cherry, your birthday greeting for John David was so sweet, I have had many dreams where I am reliving life with my son as a little one, through toddlerhood, around 10 years old...what you wrote, it reminds us we are always their Mommies...thank you for that reminder...your precious girl in her pink dress still stands out in my mind... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mysonrich Posted March 10, 2014 Members Report Share Posted March 10, 2014 Happy Heavenly Birthday , John David. ! Susan, as you reflect on this joyous day of the birth of your son, may you feel the same warmth and love of this day sent by John David , know ing he is near and lives on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted March 10, 2014 Members Report Share Posted March 10, 2014 Thank you...Thank you...Thank you....overwhelmed by the sweetest of sweet words....and sometimes words are all we have to give...and your words have been a bridge for me today...on my grief journey...to help me pass this 'marker' of my John David.... I was becoming very tense about 'what to do' on this 'birth' day....I was getting too high strung...tightly tied up..in trying to decide the right way....the wrong way...and then....last week it came to me....I don't have to do 'anything'....I can be quiet..calm...I can just 'BE'.....and then all was worked out.... I can be 'under His feathers'.... we woke up to blue skies and sunshine....just like the day he was born...we had grey skies and rain all week-end....a few portals opened up in my memory...and could remember some long ago little snapshot of him...like you said...Laurie....remembering when they were 'little boys'.... Cherry....I like to think that John David is near your Kylie....how he loved his little girls...Tay and Pebbie....he will need a little girl to 'tease' in only the way an older 'favorite Uncle' can.... I also like to think of him near the 'gorgeous girls' who are passed on this earth home....gee....all his 'old girlfriends' all tell me they think of him as 'the one that got away'.....he was not suave or a 'ladies man'....I think Randa being his older sister taught him how to 'treat the girls' ... I like to think of him hovering over the 'young guys'..like Brooks and Nick...(his arms were always around Jeremy ..and he was always hovering around him)...being in company with the many that loved the outdoors...and was at home anywhere they put their feet....the ones that loved music...freedom...and had that certain kind of persona...that seems to be a common thread among our Angels... maybe I am dealing with fantasy....or wishful thinking....but something draws us mortals to this circle of friendship and caring....and testament that we are held 'here' for the new parents that have to deal with their dark days ahead...I feel as if I am guided to be at a certain place at a certain time.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mysonrich Posted March 10, 2014 Members Report Share Posted March 10, 2014 Hello Indigo’s and to our Newbies, I hate to say Welcome for no one wants to be here. Want I can say is that I am so sorry for your loss, the passing of your dear child. As someone stated before, you have stumbled upon a soft spot to land and take comfort from the Mothers and Fathers that share your pain. . Know your pain. . My son; Rich, died a little over 5 years ago from cardiac dysrhythmia . Rich died in his sleep and we were later told that he had a anomaly in a major heart artery. I can share that this road is hard. Very very hard and our travel time will most definitely take out life time BUT, life will get softer. The hard edges soften and the pain will not be as great. You will smile and laugh again. . Share here . Reach out. I still come back during hard times for there will be hard times, dark days . I need a lift from the others here at times. Others that know that once in a while we will walk into a valley and the sun will be blocked , but we continue on in reaching out to others and from others. Indigo’s, I think of you often and share a smile now and then when something reminds me of a memory you have shared of your child. I am doing fine. Too much snow and cold air for my liking and feeling as if I should be able to crawl out of this cave any day now. I did attend the Philadelphia Flower Show this past Saturday and it gave to hope. Hope that the snow will stop falling from the sky ! My time is short right now . I think of you all often . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members weez Posted March 10, 2014 Members Report Share Posted March 10, 2014 Hi Everyone Thanks for the warm welcome the other day. I'm having a terrible time coping with the loss of my 34 year old son. It's been a month and all I do is cry most days. Today I looked at several birthday cards he received. He saved a lot of them. Afterwards I started crying and didn't stop all day except when I feel asleep watching dumb shows on TV. Then I start again. I just can't stop thinking about him. My husband and I are both so full of grief. Is there any help to this. We see a therapist every week and joined a local support group. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Steve s mom Posted March 10, 2014 Members Report Share Posted March 10, 2014 Weez,I'm so sorry for your loss.since my Steve died every holiday I read old cards he had given me and cry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted March 11, 2014 Members Report Share Posted March 11, 2014 Weez....first I want to say how very sorry I am that you had to put your feet on this grief path....and you say all you do is cry....your SONshine boy has only been 'gone' a month....well....you are right where you should be....this is not an easy path...it is the hardest thing you will ever have to do....I wish I could gild the lily for you....but honesty is one thing you can be sure you will have on this site.......'many' will say...God needed another angel....Your son is in a better place than you....We on this site say.....'No...that isn't the way it is'....that is the way a fool will talk....or....someone that has not lost a child... I think....that sometimes our children become so sick...there isn't a pill in the medicine bag that can cure them...they become so broken...human hands cannot put them back together....they become so racked with pain and suffering...and there is not a healing in this earth home.... so....the Spirit of the Universe...or God or whatever you give it a name....will take that child to it's first home... Just go ahead and cry and cry....for that is normal for you and your husband now....the fact that you have reached out to a grief counselor and support group is a good thing.... We are not professional grief counselors...we are simply parents that have lost a child...I come to this site for I do not have a circle of friends around me that have lost a child...and I need people that understand what I am going through...for this is a very dark path....we get no compass or map....there are people that have been on this site for many, many years....I call them our Spirit Guides....they are farther ahead of us on this path....and they wave to us...and wave us forward...knowing we are going to lose our way...stumble...fumble...slip...lose our footing....and they are there to let us know...they, too, had to find their way....there is not way to jump over it...or side step it...or circle it ...one has to go through it....please tell us about your boy....and take care...we call it 'self care'....be very gentle and good to yourself...grief is very physical... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Tbearw58 Posted March 11, 2014 Members Report Share Posted March 11, 2014 Happy Birthday John David Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted March 11, 2014 Members Report Share Posted March 11, 2014 Ted and Wade....it is something strange...but your son's both remind me of our son, Jeremy.....and from the time he was born...John David always had him in his arms....when he got older...there was another kind of 'holding him'....it is a 'brother love' for sure...I will be forever grateful for you both saying his name...and I say....your son's name...that John David is holding Nick and Brooks....and he and Jesse David are doing what they do best....outdoors in the heaven's way of mountains and trees and streams and all that goes with it....always keeping an eye out for those 'pretty girls'.....(wink).... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted March 11, 2014 Members Report Share Posted March 11, 2014 Betsy...saw that on TV about the Flower show....my Essie went to all of them....especially the one in New Orleans... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wgreenlee Posted March 11, 2014 Members Report Share Posted March 11, 2014 Susan... Thinking of you and remembering JOHN DAVID!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted March 11, 2014 Members Report Share Posted March 11, 2014 I remember you posting the story about John David and when he was born, that the nurse said babies are never born on their due date...surprise for her... What time did your son John David arrive? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SamDsmom Posted March 11, 2014 Members Report Share Posted March 11, 2014 It still amazes me how hard it is most of the time. For some reason the panic attacks and the desperation are back 10 fold. The nightmares, lack of sleep and crazy feelings are all here again. The guilt of not stopping the hurt of my baby boy. The guilt of not being stronger, even though intellectually I know none of it is true. The guilt over the anger that I feel because everyone else has moved on and I can't seem to get a grip. The guilt over the fact that I can't make this ok. I really feel as though I am losing my mind.We are sitting in upstate Washington tonight. Used to be I would call Sam and talk to him when Jack was sleeping. Sometimes I would send him a picture or a text. Earlier Jack was talking to his son about how beautiful it is up here, making plans for this weekend when we get home. Telling him that I would be sending some pictures in a text. I love Max, but it's not Sam and it makes me so sad. Thanks fir letting me go on. It helps to have someone to talk to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted March 11, 2014 Members Report Share Posted March 11, 2014 I will have to check with his birth certificate...and I will....but that story came back...in a nano second...amazing...I did not think of that for....years...and years.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted March 11, 2014 Members Report Share Posted March 11, 2014 laurie...isn't that an amazing memory to tell...all so true...you just can't make stuff like that...can you...?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Tbearw58 Posted March 11, 2014 Members Report Share Posted March 11, 2014 Debbie I feel your pain here and I also think its coming back and it is worse then before now maybe its the the shock lifting at 4 to 6 months and we can now feel the full pain of our loss. I don't know but it is almost more than I can take. I stopped by the accident site tonight and lit a candle for Nick. The young lady that was with her mom and found Nick that night I talk to for a while been asking god to let me know more details and tonight he let me have some more . But I cry more now then I have ever and it hurts deeper than before so something has changed. All my prayers and love to all of you tonight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted March 11, 2014 Members Report Share Posted March 11, 2014 Ted and Debbie, All others new to this pain, the layers of shock do shed, in thin layers leaving horrendous pain as reality hits again. It isn't that you were not already dealing in reality, but somehow those layers were a bandaid for a time, just covering some of the ache a touch, the sharp edges that you feel now are scary and isolating. Do one good thing for yourselves today, something whether it is to sit and eat something good, or take a walk in the sunlight, something good for just you. Sounds trivial? Try it, knowing that your Child wants you to do good things for your soul. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted March 11, 2014 Members Report Share Posted March 11, 2014 This is the place to cry out...scream out....lash out...fall down...stumble...fall to your knees.... and everyone on this site will understand....for we have been there ..done that...and we don't do it once...oh no....we have lost count... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Guest Posted March 11, 2014 Members Report Share Posted March 11, 2014 .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted March 11, 2014 Members Report Share Posted March 11, 2014 It was in the Spring of 2012.....we had a small family gathering at Jesse's home....John David brought me a vintage artist easel....the ones that artists could carry and set up anywhere...usually outdoors....it was compact...and could hold brushes, paints etc....... he bought it an a garage sale....also...extra canvases.....he was very proud of his 'find'.....and he and I worked at it til we learned just how to open it up and set it up....he told me..'Mom..I really want you to start painting canvases again...so everyone in the family could have one of your paintings in their home'..... My art...has been a journey in itself....I have evolved..changed...and I use to think 'an artist' could just paint paintings...now...I see art in even baking homemade bread.... anyway...I only have 2 of my paintings...and these two....will never be for sale....I will post the last canvas I painted...I call it..'Susan and Randa..Savannah Beach'....it is a memory painting...and I wanted it to float on the canvas...it was huge...to fit the wall in my house in Brenham I had to cut it down....when you paint a canvas this large...you have to make it...I remember Daniel and I with that huge frame..stretching the canvas around the frame.... the other painting is of the huge pecan tree Essie and I would go and pick pecans in the fall...it was her favorite spot...it was there one afternoon she looked at this large stand of old oaks and pecan trees...and said..'you will never see a cathedral made by man more magnificent than those trees'.....I have a photo of it 'somewhere'....it won 1st place at the Corpus Christi Art Show in 1986.... This is the first painting I used acrylic paints....I have always been an oil painter...but...having that first grandchild..and the fumes and all that goes with cleaning brushes...I decided to go to acrylics...it was not easy...for oil is very fluid...and one can play with the paints for days before it hardens....acrylics are not forgiving.... then...I started painting murals...furniture...even painted a carpet on a wood floor.... I have not opened it since he passed....but I did get out one of the canvases and painted something for Austin and his apartment....it is just a 'fun' painting...sorta art deco....I put a lot of 'shine' in it...but the photo does not show that... I have created items that are in certain shops in Brenham...'not for sale'...I just did them for my friends that have businesses.... also....he brought me a selection of the prettiest baskets...this was a few years back....one of my friends that owns an Antique store said they were very rare and unique.....he had an 'eye' for things like that.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted March 11, 2014 Members Report Share Posted March 11, 2014 Lora....was thinking about you...and talking about you just the other day.... Many will remember the story I told of my tenant...Bitsy....her daughter died..leaving a 3 year old daughter.(that she and her husband raised and supported since birth)..then her husband died....then the father of the little girl came and got custody of the little girl....anyway....Bitsy called me a couple of weeks ago telling me she was at her sister's house in Carmine..she had had lots of pain..and she was going to see her Dr. in Temple, Texas....this is a woman Dr. that has been her main Dr. for years.....then she called saying they had found tumors on her kidney, liver and lungs....so she was staying at her sister's so they could take her back and forth for chemo.....she called on Saturday saying she was coming back to Brenham for the week-end to see Alexia (the granddaughter) and her two daughters and their families.....I kicked into high gear on Sunday and made Essie's Chicken/Cabbage soup....and homemade bread.....I took it to her Sunday afternoon....and she and I got to have a 'good talk'.....Alexia even sat in my lap...what a loving lovely child...Bitsy was saying how she could not get herself to get a headstone for Heather....she just couldn't go that far....for she didn't want to see 'Heather' on a tombstone.... I told her about the memorials many had created on this site....we talked about our grief journey...where we were..where we weren't....we both feel as if we have been touched by grace...but we were not at the place of 'acceptance'.....I told her about George's Dad....we talked about her treatments ahead.....we talked of many things....we are so on the same page.... it doesn't sound good for my friend...Lora...I told her about the memorial you designed for Cara.....she was very interested....and she said that that is what she would want for Heather....I told her I would help in anyway with the design...she will stay at her sister's...she and her husband are retired and take very, very good care of Bitsy....and they are close to the hospital in Temple...'Sorrow floats'.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted March 11, 2014 Members Report Share Posted March 11, 2014 Susan, your pictures are lovely...thanks for sharing the story of the easel and how John David found it for you...also prayers for Bitsy... Ted and Debbie, yes there are so many incredibly raw moments to try and hurdle...I think Wanda has it right when she wrote to try and get through "this day"... Lora, it is good to hear that your brother is making progress...know that men don't like to sit around usually...he should read the story of Don Piper, the man who went to heaven...he had such a long recovery time... Dee, sending prayers for the family of the boy who was hit by the train.... Kate, how are things up by you? Our snow is melting, hopefully the snow up there won't melt overly fast... Betsy, thanks for the pictures from the flower and gardening show...it is always good to see Rich's handsome face... Thinking of everyone today.... My daughter went to another counseling appointment, it seems to do her good to talk to someone outside the family... My husband stayed in his room last night.....the depression of this all is overwhelming at times.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted March 11, 2014 Members Report Share Posted March 11, 2014 Susan-----So glad that you were able to connect with Bitsy and have a goodvisit with her. I'm sorry to hear of her serious health concerns, and send prayers.The soup and homemade bread sounds yummy. Lora-----My mom is holding her own for now....at age 94, it's sometimes a bit'touch & go'. She visited the Dr. recently and the bloodwork that they did, wasall normal......it's just her severe arthritis that causes her so much pain andlimited mobility. She also has depression, as one might guess. She has justgone downhill in the past 6-8 mo. Before that , she was mowing her own grass,and raking leaves etc. My sister lives very close, and I live relatively close. Ivisited her today.....took food and Ensure for her. He mood brightened upconsiderably when I got her talking about the old town she lived in and grewup in, relatives who have passed on etc. Thanks for asking about her.Sending prayers for your brother as he recuperates. Debbie-----Sorry to hear that you are in such a dark place right now, andhaving insomnia/nightmares. It is so very hard at this point......just keepon coming to BI. We're here for you. Peace & comfort. Betsy-----Good to see Rich's bright smile. I Imagine that the PhiladelphiaGarden--Flower show would be so nice to see, and uplifting....as the hopeof spring and warmer weather pervades our thoughts. Laurie----I'm glad that you were able to get into Jesse's site......was thathis memorial site? I, too, have problems sometimes accessing David'smemorial site, and think that I must be doing something wrong.....only tofind out that the site had problems, and then later I could access it. Dee-----Lovely day here today.....lots of sun. I visited my mom forawhile, then went to a store to return something. In the parking lot,I saw a couple guys with 'muscle' shirts and shorts!!! Well.....that's a bitextreme, I think....but that's just me. PEACE AND COMFORT TO ALL IN THE INDIGO FAMILY. Davey&Lisasmom, Sherry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted March 12, 2014 Members Report Share Posted March 12, 2014 Susan, your Son knew that painting was one of your deeply enjoyed pastimes, and it is so sweet that he found you the items you would use when you paint. I am so excited to see your work, and I especially love the painting of Rhanda and Babes at the sea. Lovely, just beautiful.Thanks for sharing and my heart to Bitsy. She is lucky to have you to help her in her grief journey and to also just have you as her good good friend. Special for you both. Sherry, it was a beautiful day yesterday, and quite nice today though cloudier, and now it is raining and a large amount of snow is suppose to start falling any moment now. I don't know if this front will make it to you, hope not, those spring-like days were wonderful. Oh well, whatever, this won't last long as 50 degrees is predicted for Friday. Hooray! Going to bed,Deeply restorative sleep to All Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wgreenlee Posted March 12, 2014 Members Report Share Posted March 12, 2014 Susan...I feel blessed to see your work...thank you. What a beautiful gift John David gave you...a precious gift that can never be replaced! Needed it tonight. Some nights are just not the same in this journey. Brooks' lights are so bright now that he's getting more sunlight. Thank you, God, for the little things that keep me going! Weez...Here you will find comfort and solace...people who understand and do not judge...wisdom to help you in your journey...and a place where people you have never met become friends and family. Please share your son when you can...I will look forward to "meeting" a new friend of my son. My thoughts and prayers will be with you in the days to follow. Love to all... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted March 12, 2014 Members Report Share Posted March 12, 2014 We had a mild Spring time kind of Texas day yesterday....the breeze had that warm silky kind of feel....Hunter Bear had a baseball game at 7....so with the time change ..Daniel and I went I was wearing sunglasses and had capri leggings....bad idea....for as soon as the sun set..it turned very cool....I had to leave half way through the game...Daniel stayed...but I thought of you, Wade...and Brooks...Spring time is baseball time....it goes hand in hand....Hunter Bear is more a 'football' guy...but he hangs in there with baseball....really ...he loves sports...our Jeremy was our REAL baseball player...and my thoughts turned to memory lane...we had 5 kids on 5 different baseball teams at one time...many hours spent at the baseball fields. There is a huge painted baseball attached to the dug out with the name of a young man that played baseball and killed in a car accident... I thought of how this change in seasons can reach out and give you a double dose of mourning...I know that when John David passed it seems I have an overdose of empathy now....I have always been a caring person....but now....the empathy is so expanded...so...Wade...I thought and prayed for you and Brooks....I told Daniel about you and your only son....Daniel can not imagine losing an only child.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lbarry Posted March 12, 2014 Members Report Share Posted March 12, 2014 Hi - am new to this group. I lost my 37 year old daughter in November. She gave a valiant fight against cancer. I want all of you to know that your writings this past two days has not helped the pain but certainly has made me feel that we are not alone in this journey ...... and that comfort comes in strength of numbers. I am sorry for the losses that I have read below. I am grateful for your sharing. .... you are now in my prayers. Thank you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted March 12, 2014 Members Report Share Posted March 12, 2014 lbarry-----I am sorry for your loss of your dear daughter. This is a good and active site, and everyone understands. I agree with you, that the pain & sorrow are so veryraw at this point., but as you say.....you are not alone when you come to this site, and it can be a lifelinefor anyone grieving the loss of a child. I, along with Dee, have been here over 10 yrs.My son was killed in his car by a runaway semi truck (driver sleeping at the wheel) in 2003. I just read the postsfrom those who were already on BI (formerly called Beyond Indigo) for a long time beforeever posting my own. This sorrowful journey is too difficult to go it alone......pleasecome back and tell us about your dear daughter whenever you feel you can. Peace to you, friend. Dee-----Same weather here, although I believe we are predicted a bit less snow than your area. It's raining now, the temperature is dropping from this a.m., but the birdiesare not giving in......they're singing as though it was a nice May day. Sherry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jeff's Mom Posted March 12, 2014 Members Report Share Posted March 12, 2014 Ibarry...I agree with everything that Sherry has mentioned. I too am so sorry for your loss. Sherry, glad to hear the birds are still out and about. Hopefully that spring weather will soon be back for good. Dee, weather up here is still giving us grief. Last night the low was -22C but the high is supposedly going to -4C. Very cold for this time of the year. I am thinking of everyone and hoping you are taking good care of yourselves. I know those first few months are the most difficult. Please make sure you force yourself to eat and rest properly as much as you may not feel like it. There have been several others that have been here a long time that will tell you that after a period of time you will again begin to rebuild your life and it will take on a new direction. After four years I can definitely tell you that they are correct. At some point you will again find happiness and the desire to live your life fully again. I know that I have after a very difficult four years. Sending prayers and loving wishes that you will all find some degree of peace. Kate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted March 12, 2014 Members Report Share Posted March 12, 2014 Ibarry....we are so sorry to hear of your loss....many on this site has had to stand by that bed...and see their children slip away to that monster cancer....some of us have had our children whisked away from our arms by a car..train..gun..heart attack...none of us are grief counselors or trained therapists....we are simply parents that have lost a child...on this site it doesn't matter if the child was 2 or 42...they are still your child...we all grieve in our own unique way...just as our child was unique....the common thread is our grief....our deep mourning....our grief journey. If all you can do now is read....that is fine....when you find you can relate or want to share...please tell us about your girl...for we are here to hear.... Some have been on this site for 10 years and more...I call them our Spirit Guides...they are a farther down the grief journey and they wave to us....wave us on....for they know the path is very foreign and we get no map or compass...and they know we will lose our way...fall...stumble...and tears sometimes blind our eyes....they are there to let us know...we can get through it...it is very hard...we all agree on that. Peace to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now