Loss of an Adult Child

[Jeff's Mom]

Laurie or anyone else, I wonder if you may have any appropriate short poems for a young adult son that I could place in our local paper for Jeff's memoriam for Dec. 12th. So many that I read on these sales places are way too flowery for him and corny. Thanks

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

Laurie or anyone else, I wonder if you may have any appropriate short poems for a young adult son that I could place in our local paper for Jeff's memoriam for Dec. 12th. So many that I read on these sales places are way too flowery for him and corny. Thanks

Here is a site that had some really good poems...you may want to browse through...it seemed to have more of a collection....

http://www.lastingpost.com/pa/pa_readings_db.php

This poem reminded me of Jesse:

When tomorrow starts without me

When tomorrow starts without me, and I am not here to see

If the sun should rise and find your eyes all filled with tears for me,

I know how much you love me as much as I love you,

And each time you think of me I know you'll miss me too.

But when tomorrow starts without me please try to understand,

That Jesus came and called my name and took me by the hand.

He said that my place is ready in heaven far above,

And that I have to leave behind all those I dearly love.

But as I turned to walk away a tear fell from my eye,

For all my life I'd always thought it wasn't my time to die.

I had so much to live for and so much yet to do,

It seems almost impossible that I was leaving you.

I thought of all the yesterdays the good ones and the bad,

I thought of all the love we shared and all the fun we had.

If I could have stayed for just a while,

I'd say goodbye and hug you and maybe see you smile.

But then I fully realise that this could never be,

For emptiness and memories would take the place of me.

And when I thought of worldly things that I would miss tomorrow,

I thought of you and when I did my heart was filled with sorrow.

But when I walked through heaven's gate and felt so much at home,

As God looked down and smiled at me from his great golden throne.

He said "This is eternity, and all I've promised you,

Today your life on earth is past, but here it starts anew."

"I promise no tomorrow but today will always last,

And since each day's the same here there's no longing for the past."

So when tomorrow starts without me don't think we're far apart,

For every time you think of me I'm right here in your heart.

Anon

[Guest]

.

[Jeff's Mom]

Laurie, thank you so much. I will definitely look this over tomorrow. Lora, WOW...this exact poem I used at his funeral. Susan...so right. the connections are amazing. Thinking of everyone and keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Love, Kate

[Guest]

.

[Jeff's Mom]

Lora, I do believe I may use the same poem again. It truly does remind me of our site. Laurie, thank you for thinking of me. Hope you are both doing ok. Kate

[Jeff's Mom]

Lora, I do believe I may use the same poem again. It truly does remind me of our site. Laurie, thank you for thinking of me. Hope you are both doing ok. Kate

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

Kate, That is really amazing that the same poem emerged....wow...

[Mermaid Tears]

our forever friendsIn Memory of Jeff

He walks with us down quiet paths,

And speaks in wind and rain,

For the magic power of memory,

Gives him back to us again.

how enduring is that...coming together...

sending out a request....

getting back ...

what is the best....

of what ...

we have....

to share....

[Mermaid Tears]

Thank you Laurie...I read that poem, too...

If tomorrow starts without me.....

and it was like John David had written it to me....

am so comforted that it speaks to so many parent's hearts...for that is what it should do...

and I am sure that is why it was written...

Who knows....

Who...really....wrote it....

it is different from whom it was sent...and remembered.....

[Jeff's Mom]

Thank you, my friends. I hold you close. Kate

[wgreenlee]

Kate…here's one I found…thinking of you.

Never Unsaid

I never want this to go unsaid,

So here in this poem, is for it to be said.

There are no words to express how much you mean to me,

A son like you, I thought could never be.

Because the day you were born, I just knew,

God sent me a blessing- and that was you.

For this I thank Him everyday,

You are the true definition of a son, in everyway.

It is because of you that my life has meaning,

Becoming a mom has shown me a new sense of being.

I want you to know that you were the purpose of my life,

Out of everything I did- it was you that I did right.

Always remember that I know how much you care,

I can tell by the relationship that we share.

For a son like you there could be no other,

And whether we are together or apart,

Please do not ever forget-

You will always have a piece of my heart

Thinking of everyone tonight…another long day…everyone is so right about the emotional roller coaster we all ride and how much it takes out of you.

Wade

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

Today I saw Jesse's best friend at the gas station...he had lived with Jesse for about 1 1/2 years at Jesse's house before the accident...it was so hard to see him...and know my son is in a cemetary instead of being alive...

I wish that Jesse's friends would go to where he is...I have a very hard time with that and as far as I know, they never go to his grave...the night that Jesse told me his life would be short I asked/begged him to come home with me...he wouldn't and said something about maintaining the wood furnace since Ben would be coming back...I just think Jesse would have came home with me that night if not for Ben, maybe I would not have had this memory erased...and maybe...

I know I am circling around with these thoughts...but they are so burned in my head and soul...

***********************************

Thanks Wade for the poem, it does get very hard at times...

Shannon, how are you doing? Thinking tonight of Gretchen, Colleen, Sherry, Isabelles Mom, Becky, and all of those who post here...

Wishing every one a peaceful night...

[ericasmom]

This song was performed tonight by Anoushka and her band, her sister Norah Jones sings on this version, though tonight another lovely voice was on stage, they wrote it in memory of their Dad. It says so much. Give a listen.

[wgreenlee]

John 14:2-4

In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going."

Lord, please tell my son I love him.

[Jeff's Mom]

Thank you Wade, for posting this. I needed to see it tonight. Also, thanks for the poem. Very nice and heartfelt. Dee, glad that you enjoyed the concert. I will listen in the morning. Laurie, as many have mentioned in previous posts we do not understand why some have so much support and others very little. I too would love to hear from my sons friends. They are gone now and I have the memories. They are always happy to see us if we meet by chance. However, I guess they have moved forward in their lives and no longer are in that place they shared with Jeff. Time has a way of standing still when we are suffering like this. I guess this too will pass. Wade, try and get some sleep.

[JD's Mom, Becky]

From an article I read recently. I shared it with my husband and daughter, who completely related to it. I am not a hateful or vengeful person, but the system is at fault for leaving us with this unresolved anger and frustration and feeling of injustice for our child. How could someone so beautiful be treated so poorly? Thoughts?

By Sheryl M. Kindarachuk

Regardless of the amount of time elapsed since the death of the child, three reactions remained prominent. The first and most frequent was frustration with the courts, second was sadness, and third was anger toward the defendant.

Conclusion

The responses and reactions observed among these parents whose child was killed by an impaired/distracted driver show a striking resemblance to those following murder. Parents who have lost their children at the hands of an impaired/distracted driver experienced an intensity of anger and hostility few could even begin to comprehend as well as a drive for revenge that is seen only among victims who have suffered as a result of another's relentless, brutal actions. The hostility and quiet rage that lingers within as a result of the many injustices endured, threatens the vitality of the spirit and tears apart the fabric of much that was good and positive in their lives.

Parents have been ruthlessly robbed of their power to protect their child from harm. In an attempt to reassert control over their helplessness, and thereby diminish the power of the killer - the impaired/distracted driver - many attempted to seek vengeance through the criminal justice system. Although the revenge and justice sought in the name of the child was entrusted to the courts, such attempts were often met with disillusionment and further disappointment. The legal system was found to be a procedural labyrinth that not only compounded the tremendous burden of grief but was fraught with perceived injustice. Chronic frustration in trying to obtain justice within a system that considers drinking and driving as merely a social problem and crashes as accidents was an unfortunate reality.

Extreme anger was subsequently fueled to the ultimate degree of hatred for the defendant and for some, a wish that this individual would literally "drop dead." It is therefore virtually impossible in the eyes of most parents to envision successful resolution of this grief in which the child's life is instantly and irrevocably terminated while the perpetrator often remains free to walk the streets.

[lovU2themoon]

and the sun continues to rise, and shine brightly through my living room window, on another day without my Lane.

Miss you so much today as everyday.

thinking of you all..

[Mermaid Tears]

Yes Wanda....everyone on this site will nod their heads in agreement with you....

each one wakes up and remembers...this will be another day...another morning...evening...night without that child....we pause...and try to make up our mind on the direction of the day ahead...some go back to bed....some rise and simply put one foot in front of the other...to carry them forward...sort of like a robot walk.

But the common thread in our thoughts is...

What will I do...

Without you ?

[Mermaid Tears]

I have been 'pondering' on this for many days....this is me....reaching out to the parents that have lost their child....and seek justice...for the way their child died.

I do realize your journey is made even harder by the sheer fact that you are in deep grief...but yet...have to go out of your mourning circle to act..research...contact..all the entities that come into the 'legal' aspects of the accident....

It is an uphill battle....for no one approaches you with any help or compassion...you have to seek the truth....from people that don't want to 'hear about it' or 'don't want to deal' with it....and you encounter many closed doors and closed minds. You hit many walls.

I just wanted each of you to know that in all of the postings...I have never 'read' or 'felt' that any of you were coming from a position or center of MALICE.

I have heard ...anger...very normal...

I have heard ...bitter....very normal...

But ....you do not operate from an anger/bitter/malice platform.....

It just is not there.

Do not second guess yourself.

You have 'your' reasons...and that is enough.

As for my journey....in each and every day....I get flashes of anger....flashes of bitter....that is why those emotions are normal and common in the grief journey. How can they not be ?

Each of you have my full support for your 'fight for justice' for your child. I am here to listen and 'be with' you....I am not in that situation...but I can empathize and 'hold your hand' as you go forward.

I just wanted you to know where I come from and my insight.

Now.....'Go Gettum'.....

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

Yes Wanda....everyone on this site will nod their heads in agreement with you....

each one wakes up and remembers...this will be another day...another morning...evening...night without that child....we pause...and try to make up our mind on the direction of the day ahead...some go back to bed....some rise and simply put one foot in front of the other...to carry them forward...sort of like a robot walk.

But the common thread in our thoughts is...

What will I do...

Without you ?

Wanda, I could not have said it any better than Susan.....it is my first waking thought...

Thinking of you today...

[Mermaid Tears]

Laurie....have been thinking of you and your meeting with Jesse's friend...and how I know how it felt to feel your heart go straight down....for our children's friends are so 'familiar and close' to us...and it does have a strange 'focus' ...it is hard to describe...but only a parent that walks our shoes know how it 'is'.

So many on the site talks about the family and friends that have gone their way...or rather..stay out of our way....and we are left being the only memorial. But really....no one...is going to remember our child like we do.....I don't expect them to.....unless the same horrific event comes into their lives....and then they will remember 'us'.

I am reminded that 'life goes forward'....and I do want that for my family..grandchildren...I want their lives to be as rich and fulfilled as they can be...

that is why I read 'Death is Nothing at All'....over and over....

I do agree that it is a great comfort to have someone speak our child's name...someone that can remember a 'sweet memory'....or just call and say...'I am thinking of you today'....

I can't help but believe that is 'one' of the reasons we come together ...

this is the medicine to help us heal.

[Jeff's Mom]

Thinking of everyone today. Wade...I know that Brooks left this world knowing in his heart that he had a dad that loved him dearly. Hope you managed to get some rest last evening. Wanda...yes, each day is a challenge. Hold tight. Dee...I have always loved Norah Jones and her sister is just stunning. Glad the concert was fun. Cherish's Mom...holding you in my thoughts and prayers. Thinking of everyone all to many to name. Love, Kate

[Mermaid Tears]

Kate...I hope Ross has been holding steady in his recovery...I loved that poem..and it did seem like it was meant for your boy....and the poem from Wade speaks, too....I have to say that my life has been made richer for the poetry..songs...books..shared by all on this site. I, too, think you made the best decision to move to your summer house...such a sad stair steps of events that brought you to it....but in the end...it has brought you such a peaceful place to live...and heal. I really like to think of you sitting on the 'bench'...

Isabella's mom.......I , too, am sorry to hear that your Mom is not supporting you in the ways you need....many of us on this site do not have the support we need in our grief....for it is a very personal journey and our families and friends just don't understand how deep our grief can reach. You may need to research and find a group there...of parents that have lost a child...for they will be the ones that understand what you are going through. I think if you are dealing with your boys...your grief...and then you try to deal with the problems surrounding your Mom....it will certainly make your grief worse. There are so many situations that simply don't have a pat answer...and those are the ones we need to say a prayer...let it go....and give yourself..'Self Care'...for the better you are...the better your boys will be.

[Mermaid Tears]

Dee....thank you for sharing that song....we live with traces now....so glad you enjoyed the concert...

[Jeff's Mom]

Susan, thanks...Ross is slowly regaining his strength. Now that he is off of chemo for a bit the side effects are beginning to subside. We managed to go for a lovely walk into the site today. The weather has turned around again and it was actually quite warm for this time of year. We sat on his bench and as we walked out I found myself reciting the poem. It is actually perfect. I tied a bright red silk ribbon around a tree branch and then added a small wreath that has twigs and small red berries. To that I attached a silver angel holding a bugle. It shone in the sun and made a lovely tinkling sound as it blew in the breeze. I just love that final resting place for him. As he always loved the outdoor and nature he is constantly surrounded by an ever changing scenario. Like you I find myself pushing down a feeling of sadness as the season has now changed into a full fall mode. It still seems so hard to believe that he is actually gone. Well, I just want to mention to Isabella's Mom that Colleen and others have had some very good words of advice and I hope that you will be able to speak to your mom about how you feel. Let us know how it goes. Love to all, Kate

[Guest Trista's_Mom]

Kate,

Your walk today sounds absolutely beautiful and I’m so glad Ross is regaining some strength. Reading your words is so soothing. I agree, it is amazing that “Jeff’s Poem” was one suggested. These are gifts.

Dee,

Thank you for sharing that song. Norah Jones is one of my favorite artists but had never heard her sister perform before. That is such a beautiful song. I’m glad you were able to go to that concert and enjoy. Also, the Cat Stevens song touched me deeply. I love Cat Stevens but had never heard that particular song or if I did it was at a time that it didn’t touch me in the same way.You always seem to share something that touches me so deeply.

Susan,

Your words, your stories, all such a comfort. I shared your post about the sparrow in Starbucks with my Grandma and she asked me to print it out for her. She absolutely loved it and wants to share it with her Pastor.

Laurie,

I am thinking of you. I understand completely those circular thoughts. I have them so much. I thank you for all you share on your path.

Wanda,

Another day… I know that feeling. It is also still my first waking thought. Thinking of you and Lane tonight.

Becky,

I have a lot of thoughts on the article you posted. I can’t put them all into words right now but the injustice is something so hard to accept. I want to try to put words to my thoughts on this. I’m just not able to right now. I know you understand.

Wade,

Thank you for sharing with us all you do. I know in my heart that Brooks can have no doubt how much he is loved.

Gretchen,

How are you doing? I’ve been thinking of you and of your friend who is now on this same journey that none of us ever expected to be on.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I have been in a really “different” place for a few days. I don’t have the words and I know that’s okay. Today, I spent time at Trista’s site then made some things for her garden for Thanksgiving… a wreath and a floral arrangement. They turned out really pretty, I think, for someone who has no experience creating things like that. I miss my Girl so much.

My Gramma is here for a couple of days and she shared a story with me of a vision of Trista she had during church. I’m still trying to process but I believe this to be a true glimpse into what my Girl is doing now. My Grandma is very “traditional” and for her to say that she had a vision is something in itself. She is so thankful that she was given this glimpse. I will try to share it when I can put the words together.

Thinking of everyone tonight. I know there are more posts I’ve missed but it might take me a couple days to catch up. Thank you all for everything.

Shannon

[Cherish's Mom]

Reposted in correct "Loss of an Adult Child"

Cherish was born into this world with much confusion and chaos... but I loved that child from the moment I knew she existed.

She just celebrated her 23rd birthday ... two weeks later, she would leave this earth. And in leaving this earth, she took with her my heart and soul. My hope and dreams. My life and breath.

To make matters worse, Cherish was murdered. Insult to injury, literally. So in these last few weeks without Cherish, I have grieved not just her loss, but the manner in which she was taken from me. I don't get to move away from her services, say goodbye to all the well wishers and slip back into what is to become my new normal. I have to contend with DA's and Cororner's reports and of course, the defense lawyer.

I'm not sure how I feel about the man that took my child from me. I'm not even sure how I feel at all right now. I hear so many tell me that I won't ever get over it, but I'll get through it. Really? How do I get through another day where I don't sleep. How do I make another day where I don't eat? How do I manage another day... another hour... another breath, without Cherish?

I want to fast foward a year. Two. Five. I want to not feel this pain any more that is so searing and so consuming that it steals my very breath.

I DON'T want to do this!! I DON'T want to walk in this valley.

I fight every day to be strong. To hold every one up. There are two dads and a sister that are crumblingh before my very eyes and I try to encourage them and help them and ... I'm failing because they are still so broken.

And I'm at a loss. I'm at a place I never knew I could be. How... how does one go on when all one wants to do is stop?

Cherish's mom

PS: This is my first post, if I've done it wrong, I apologize

[Mermaid Tears]

As always....some can come to the site and relate...some can only read....and each is of what he or she can truly give of that day and time...

Kate....you tied a red silk ribbon with a wreath of twigs and berries....and a silver angel blowing a bugle....

how many times....the simple things we do for our child...are....magical...

Shannon...it is ok to be in another place...

as Dee told me when I got on this site for the first time....

We are here...and we won't let go....

I needed that....I still need that....

but that is the message written in stone for everyone....

We won't let go....

[Mommysangelisabella]

Hi dnt hv alot of time my battier is gonna die so ill post agen latter.. Ive read everyones today threw out the day as i always do. i just want to send my love and prayers to everyone.

Cheirshs mom,

Welcome you were posting in the right spot before . Plz feel free to. We all are mainly just under here and its easier to reach people a.s.a.p. Post as you feel. We are all here for you. Sometimes we all just seem to just read on days and not post thats ok to. I myself feel alittle better just hearing everyone else . All my love and prayers ,

Wendy forever isabellas mommy

[Mermaid Tears]

Oh Cherish's Mom...

Am so..so sorry...beyond sad....

all of us here are just parents that have lost a child...

it doesn't matter if the 'child' was 2 or 52....

they are still your child...

I will want you to know that grief is a very physical thing....and we always tell new ones...to 'self care'...in other words...please take very good care of yourself...be gentle with yourself..be kind to yourself....

Please let us know about your girl...and yourself....this is a hard journey in grief...it is not easy...but we come together to share...

and be there for each other....

please....let us hear....

[Jeff's Mom]

Cherish's Mom, welcome to the site. We completely understand how you are feeling... I can assure you we will hold you up when you are feeling lost. I'm glad you decided to come here. We are all at different stages of our grief. As Susan mentioned in her last post...many some days are just not able to post. That is not what matters. At least to be able to connect to those that are walking this difficult path is so important. When you are able, or feeling up to it... please share with us about your daughter. The specifics of her death are not so much important as we know how painful it is. Being able to talk about who she was as a person is what we all crave to discuss about our child. Thinking of you tonight. Wade...hope things are a bit better tonight. Shannon, glad to see that your grandmother is visiting...there is nothing like some major TLC. Go for it! Lora, again thanks for posting the poem. Much appreciated. Sherry, hope you get the computer up and working soon. We really miss you. Hope you are keeping well. Brenda...are you ok? I sure miss the pics of your wildlife. Thinking of everyone tonight and wishing you a peaceful sleep. Kate

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

Cherish's Mom, I am truly sorry for your loss...I echo what everyone else has said for your beautiful daughter...

You are in my prayers tonight as so many are...

*********************************************************

Been in kind of a reflective mood lately, I thank all those who have taken the time to write me these last few weeks...just been at a low...try to post when I can but know that I hold you all close to my heart...

[wgreenlee]

Cherish's mom…

I am so very sorry…sad…angry…for your loss…and what you now have to go through. I live in Carson City and my son was murdered in Reno in September. I am here for you no matter what you need. Please let me know. I remember the story…so senseless. How I know that feeling. This is a place that saved me…everyone here made a difference for me and continue to do so on a daily basis. My grief is overwhelming, but I can live day to day by knowing others are praying for me and letting me rant and rave and cry and ask for help here. You will be in my thoughts every day and I hope you will share Cherish's life with us…with me. Brooks and Cherish were basically the same age and I know so well what you're going through. We all do. Use us for comfort or for a sounding board…whatever you need.

Isabella's Mom...

I can't remember if it was you who asked about sending photos to someone's email a week or so ago. If it was I would love to post photos for you. My email is wade405@yahoo.com. Send them freely. If not I'm sorry about forgetting.

Wanted to share a little more, but now am at a loss for words. Talked a little more with the detective about Brooks' personal belongings and he had a little more information, but I will let you know later. Too much stuff now….need happy thoughts.

Sorry for not commenting on other posts. You guys are truly amazing and a Godsend. Even in your own grief you always know what to say. My thoughts and persistent prayers are always on you. My prayer list stays open on my computer so I can continually send those thoughts to God to EASE our pain and let GOOD somehow come out of all of this.

For Cherish's Mom, Isabella's Mom, Kate, Wanda, Susan, Becky, Lora, Laurie, Barbara, Dee, Shannon, Kathy, Carol, Sharon, Jena, Betsy, Angela, Gravastorm, Shane/Debbie, Dru, Colleen, Ashley…Please God be with everyone here and anyone I didn't mention. Give us the miracles that we all need…big or small, Lord, it doesn't matter. Grace and mercy are your's to give and we all need your presence. By faith we know our children are loved and safe in your arms, but sometimes we need more…let all of us feel that special love and presence of our children tonight, tomorrow, and every day. I have been so patient Lord, but we need you…I need you…to answer this prayer. Please God hear me!

John 14:13-14

"And whatever you ask in My name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. "If you ask Me anything in My name, I will do it."

Philippians 4:6-7

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Psalm 50:15

"And call upon Me in the day of trouble; I shall rescue you, and you will honor Me."

Psalm 145:18

The LORD is near to all who call upon Him, To all who call upon Him in truth.

Love to all of you…Wade

[ericasmom]

Cherish's Mom, i am so sorry that you have found your way here, that a place like this needs to be in your life...Cherish is so pretty, that photo you used is gorgeous. Please tell us more about Cherish when you get the time to breathe, the time to sit and talk here. There is no wrong way to grieve unless you are hurting yourself...Lord knows the pain is searing, so we don't want anyone adding pain to this already unnatural time. For me, time itself became the most abstract entity when Erica died, and still, 10 years later, time is not as it once was. It's tricky.

I lost my girl when she was 19 when a train hit her car at a broken crossing in Michigan. She lived for 6 days but never as who she was, she died soon after we took her off the life support. I will always miss her, always, but I will promise you that in time, a lot of time, some of this horrific pain you are experiencing will lighten some. As far as how will you go on? One minute at a time Dear, one second and then another. We are far stronger than we ever wanted to know. I understand trying to take care of others, but at some point, you need to allow your grief, as you will be the only one to manage it.

Come back, keep posting, there are many of us here, don't worry abut learning our names a this time.

[Guest Trista's_Mom]

Cherish's Mom,

I'm so sorry for your loss. Your Cherish is a beautiful Girl. You have found a place where people understand the loss of a Child and are willing to listen and hold your hand. Please keep coming and reading, posting, anything you need, any time you need.

Shannon

[Guest Trista's_Mom]

My Gramma came yesterday to stay a few days. She shared with me an experience she had during a church service for Veteran's Day. She said she sat through the whole service and was completely focused on what was happening until the final prayer. As the Vet leading the final prayer added... "Please God, send your Angels to be of service in whatever way they can in the Philippines", My grandma said her mind was filled with an image of Trista. She said she was "hovering" above and holding out her arms and there was a little boy who, by his looks, could have been Philippino, holding his arms out to her. She said when she opened her eyes there were tears on her cheeks because of the reality of what she saw. She told me she truly believes that our Trista is in Philippines helping the children.

I had never told my Gramma or anyone else what the person who is a sensitive told me when they connected with Trista. She told me that Trista is doing important work and one of her "jobs" is to help Children who are missing reconnect with their parents or find their way home. She said that this seems to be that she helps Children on both sides, the ones that are still on Earth and the ones crossing over.

When my Gramma shared this with me I had no idea what was going on in the Philippines because I don't watch the news but earlier that day I had sat down to eat and decided to watch something while I ate. The show I chose was about a Mother and Daughter caught in the flood in Memphis, Tennessee in 2010. The whole time I watched I thought of Trista. I wondered afterward if this was her way to show me what she was doing since I don't watch the news.

After my Gramma told me about this I looked up news articles on what was happening in the Philippines and the first two articles I came to were of children under the age of ten who survived and were reunited with their families against all odds. I'm not suggesting Trista was the one responsible for these two miracles but the idea of her and others there helping seems really "real" to me.

I just wanted to share and I know this is the only safe place I have to share this.

Love,

Shannon

[wgreenlee]

Shannon...

I'm glad you shared. I think our faith in what God allows is what may keep us going. I've been looking up verses about whether or not our children can have some input with us here. Some say yes or maybe, but none of them say no. Obviously, biblical scholars differ, but I know for certain that my faith in God tells me He can do anything. That's what faith is for..right? If I truly believe Brooks and all of our children are in a place called "Heaven" and I do believe that with all my heart and soul, then I know that our children can also have an impact here with us. We just never know how or when. I think that's what God is all about. I believe that Trista is doing just what you said. I really do. Just like I believe that when I saw those airplanes they were a little message from God that Brooks is doing ok and I should get comfort from that. That is real for me too. It's too coincidental not to be. I guess when I think about this, I can't help but think that God knows we are in so much pain…He has to provide. My prayers will be answered. I lived my whole life believing this and even though I can't in the least understand why this is happening to me now…God has to provide. He promised and I'm holding Him to that promise. Good will come out of this. Hold that close, Shannon, because I know Trista is being felt where the need is greatest.

Hoping for some peace for all of you…Wade

[Mommysangelisabella]

Plz plz pray for my baby jeremiah hes 3 and has developed a fevor of 103.5 im scared this is our first major child illness since isabellas death. Pray for us. I dnt know how long it will take me to get back but ill post when i can thnks

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

Plz plz pray for my baby jeremiah hes 3 and has developed a fevor of 103.5 im scared this is our first major child illness since isabellas death. Pray for us. I dnt know how long it will take me to get back but ill post when i can thnks

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

Shannon, thank you for sharing that very sacred event...I have had two dreams of Jesse since October, one I believe was more of a grief dream but the other felt more like him...

Wade, all I can say is that when Jesse passed he knew, I came from a very traditional background christian, and to me it became a hindrance...when these "notices" from the other side were happening I only wish I had understood... I have come to believe since we are a spiritual being, that certain experiences will naturally result...I have been around some very rigid thinkers religiously...but all I can say is that my personal experience with Jesse's leaving blows alot of that out of the water...so many unexplained things happened...

Also, as I started reading from the later gospels onward to Acts, I saw things differently, there is one passage that after Jesus died, many people were released from their graves who had been dead...now I wonder what they thought when they came back...what stories they could tell if they were allowed...

Since Jesse's leaving, I have had many share they innermost spiritual experiences with me...some were saved by angels, some had literal visitations from the deceased, and some visions...and for all but one of these people, they were not looking for these experiences....these experiences happened spontaneously to them...and they hold them to be sacred...

Early on I read Robert Wises book on Crossing the Threshold to Eternity, he works with hospice, many interesting stories....

[ericasmom]

Prayers Lord, for Isabella's Boy, that his fever break and that he is free of illness soon. May he live a long strong life alongside his Brother and Mother and in the light of his Sister.

[Cherish's Mom]

Thank you all for your kind words and encouragement. Weeks away from losing my child is still a very tender for me. Some days I feel incredibly strong and at peace, and other days ... I want to evaporate into the ether.

Cherish was incredibly funny, smart, willful, frustrating, honest, kind, stubborn, friendly and most of all ... a child of God.

She was named because of a promise that the Lord gave to me while I was pregnant with her. I wasn't happy about having this child at that time and questioned God... why?! I heard that quiet voice, calm and true say to me "Have this child, cherish this child and raise her up to love Me, and I will use her for My glory."

So I did. And Cherish was her name.

She was one of those children that challenged EVERYTHING. Her older sister was so quiet and clam and naturally demure and I knew I could have many of these! Then I had Cherish. I was done.

The life she lived was filled with ... Cherish. She could not be in a room and you didn't know about it. She excelled at most everything she did and she did a lot! In our church, she always volunteered and as she grew, helped in the children's ministry. She took missions trips. She decided that school wasn't her thing (she was very social, sooooo) after two years of college, she got a job and quickly rose to manager. At 22, she had a good job, built her credit, saved her money and bought a brand new car without a co-signer or help from us. She just wanted us there - just in case. But didn't want us to say anything, just back her up if need be.

She amazed me her whole life. The things that drove me crazy when she was growing up, I knew would serve her well. I remember we high-fived each other on her 18th birthday ... because we both survived our experience into her adulthood!

Then we got that call that stills every parents heart. I needed to go home, the police will meet you there. Something's happened to Cherish.

I was met there by the Coroner and two homicide detectives. I remember seeing the look on their faces and before I let them speak, I bowed before my Lord and Savior and prayed to prepare me for the news I was about to receive, to give my heart the strength to hear it and for the peace to accept what I did not want to accept.

Devastation. Broken. Trembling. Gut wrenching. Searing. World shattering. Life altering. The very tapestry of my world where Cherish was so tightly woven, was tearing.

Once again, I as I had so many years ago, I found myself crying out to God searching for His reasoning. Why now? Why this? Why me? Why her?

Really, Lord? THIS is my life? THIS is Your will?

But I have to tell you this, and I truly believe this: Before Cherish drew her first breath, God knew when she would draw her last. This did not take Him by surprise. I don't understand it, and I don't like it, but I trust that there is a plan for all of us. Each of our days are numbered, and Cherish is with Him. At first, I begged to change places, please Lord... not her, take me! But I know now that would mean plucking her from heaven and I would never do that.

She doesn't deserve this world. This place is vile and fractured and painful. So instead I look forward to when I'll join her in the Kingdom. And therein lies my hope.

Cherish had a tattoo that had the Calvary Dove and a chosen scripture (address not the entire text) that declared what she believed:

Psalms 56: 8-11 (This is David speaking with The Lord)

You number my wanderings; Put my tears into Your bottle; are they not in Your Book? When I cry out to You, then my enemies will turn back. This I know, because God is for me. In God (I will praise His word), in the Lord (I will praise His word). In God I have put my trust. I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?

Cherish, my brilliantly, God loving child, chose a passage that reminded her, that when God is for us, we need not fear what man can do to us. Yes, I know that a man took her life on earth, but he did not take her spirit in heaven. That is everlasting and one day, through Jesus Christ as our Savior and Redeemer, I will see her again.

I will never be the same, but perhaps, that is exactly God’s point.

Terri

PS: Once again, I'm so new, if this post is too long, forgive me.

[Cherish's Mom]

Cherish's mom…

I am so very sorry…sad…angry…for your loss…and what you now have to go through. I live in Carson City and my son was murdered in Reno in September. I am here for you no matter what you need. Please let me know. I remember the story…so senseless. How I know that feeling. This is a place that saved me…everyone here made a difference for me and continue to do so on a daily basis. My grief is overwhelming, but I can live day to day by knowing others are praying for me and letting me rant and rave and cry and ask for help here. You will be in my thoughts every day and I hope you will share Cherish's life with us…with me. Brooks and Cherish were basically the same age and I know so well what you're going through. We all do. Use us for comfort or for a sounding board…whatever you need.

Wade: I'm in Las Vegas ... if you google Cherish's name (turns out there aren't that many!) her story will come up. Homicide is such a horrible way to lose a child. As if the life stolen was not enough, to endure the fact that someone looked at someone that I hold so dear and deemed her not worthy of life shakes me to my very core.

I meet with the DA today. The last hearing knocked the wind out of my husband when he heard the terminology "Thrill killing." I hope by meeting today, there will be no more surprises and we will be better prepared for the preliminary hearing.

Please... all that do and can, pray for us.

Terri, Cherish's mom

[JD's Mom, Becky]

Cherish's mom, Terri, I am so very sorry to hear of the loss of your beautiful girl in such a horrific manner. I am glad you found your way to this forum, where there are so many caring people that can relate to your grief and to your loss.

I lost my 15 year old son, hit from behind less than 1/4 mile from our driveway by an (IMO) inattentive driver while riding his skateboard towards home. The driver was never charged with anything. The article i posted yesterday was one that spoke of impaired and distracted drivers that kill innocent people, and how the victim's families feel the same as one who has lost their child to murder. It is true, that is what I consider it to be, and as such, can say I understand.

I read the accounts of your daughter's death, and I know it must be appalling for you to have to listen to her murderer's account of what happened. How can someone in the military reserves not know if a gun is loaded or not. Then for him to take it one step further, and try to blame her is unbelievable, and only makes your pain that much greater.

The driver that killed my son, has run around telling people that he ran out in front of her on purpose, thereby excluding her from any remorse or guilt... in her mind. She may have one or two who believe her, but even the police in our case know that he didn't run out from anywhere, but that she hit him from behind. Like you, I know my child, and know his heart, and he would never purposely put himself in harm's way, no more than your daughter would have. The police in our case would not bring a charge, even though they suspected she was distracted by the text that came into her phone moments before, they claim not to be able to prove it beyond a reasonable doubt, which is their burden.

I just don't understand why anyone would lie in these types of situations. Even if it were truly a mistake, a lack of judgement, why not admit their wrongdoing instead of trying to blame the victim?

I am so glad you have your faith to help move you on this walk of grief. I have that as well, and know my child is in heaven, but it is still without doubt the hardest thing anyone can ever endure.

I pray her killer gets the justice he deserves, and that Cherish's good name is not tarnished in anyway.

Please continue to post here, and let us help you through this. There are many that lost their children at the hands of others, and know the added layer of grief this will bring. Holding you close in my heart and in my prayers this day.

[Guest]

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[hopeful40]

To ALL in my grieving family...although not been here for a while, know that I have had each of you in both my heart and daily prayers, Have been reading the daily posts from each of you. I have been heavily ladened with pain and hurt and an abundance of tears. So much so, I've not been able to share as of late.

When abled will start posting again. (One good thing. I found a grieving group in my area. Will start attending next month.)

My prayers are with each and every one of you. God WILL sustain us all--for HE Is our HOPE!

Be Blessed and stay strong...our children would so WANT that for us. We MUST live through them.

Barbara

Ayanna. I love and miss you daily. The dogs continue to look for you. It just breaks my heart. See you when God says so.

Your Mom ("Pumpkin")

[SamDsmom]

My name is Debbie. My son, Sam was killed on September 20, 2013. He was hit bt a train. He was 23 years old. I am writing this because I hope that someone can help me cope. I am a Christian. I believe my son is with the Lord. I know that I will see him some day. But for some reason that does not give me much comfort. I guess the thing I really struggle with us my anxiety and anger. Sometimes rage. My husband and I are over the road truck drivers. I don't really have much contact with other people on a regular basis. Up until Sam was killed, we were doing very well. We enjoy each other's company and work so well together. Since we have been back out I find that I can't concentrate, sleep, wake up in sheer panic, and have been mean to my husband. He was Sam's stepfather but they were close and I know this has been very hard on him also. My family doesn't know how to deal with me so they avoid me, which also hurts. I feel so alone. I feel like I have to be strong for my other adult children so I spend a great deal of energy supporting them. I have considered killing myself but know that is not an option. Then I feel guilty because I know that is not what God wants for me. My hope is that some one will respond to this and maybe have the same experience. I have been reading others stories. Thank you

[Jeff's Mom]

Debbie, I am so sorry for your loss. I know that you have found a great place in this site to open up and talk freely about Sam. The one thing about joining is the knowledge that you will not be criticized for anything. We have all lost our children in various ways. Mine to suicide. The bottom line is that they are now gone and we are left to continue. We are all grieving and feeling the loss of our kids. It truly does help to talk about them. Terri, I can not begin to imagine your pain. Please know that we are all here to listen and help you with support. Barbara, I am sorry that it is rough right now. Just reading is often what many of us do. Post when you are able. There is no pressure. Wanda...how are you this week? Isabella's Mom...I hope the baby has improved...please let us know when you can. Thanks. While we are on the subject of religion I must say that I am also a true believer. I'm more spiritual than religious. In fact...I do believe I have been one of His greatest challenges. I never could conform to a traditional way of practicing my faith. But I will tell you this...I am certain that this is but a journey. That we will all be reunited with our children again. We are here trying to connect with others to find our way in working though this initial grief stage. Time as corny as it sounds...well, it does slowly ease around the edges, and we will all begin to live our new lives again once we can come to terms with our loss. It's darn hard. So each and every person goes about it in their own way. Be kind to yourselves. Force yourself to take good care of yourself. I know at the beginning the will is not there to do much of anything. Eating, exercise, and trying to get a reasonable amount of sleep is vital in finding the strength to do this.Tell yourself you are doing it for them if you have to.

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

Laurie, I wish I could live in my own little world and not live in this life I have been thrown in to. I know the pain that just seeing a friend of Jesses can cause. There are so many triggers. With all your stories you have shared about Jesse, I know that he is thought of often and missed. Such a beautiful soul. Thinking of you.

Thank you Lora for the kind words...I appreciate this site so much and being able to remember our children...

To all the newcomers, I am so sorry for you having to come here...there has been so many wonderful, good people here that have helped me along this grief journey...

...prayers for you...

About the Sandy Hook shootings...when I wrote a while back to Carol Kearns (grief counselor mentored under Elizabeth Kubler-Ross), in her email to me she told me she had been on the scene afterwards to provide counseling for the families...she also told me that many of those children had some form of "knowing" before this horrible tragedy, I have come to believe that somehow many are prepared for their leaving...

I absolutely believe that our children continue on to do God's tasks in that heavenly realm...

But there is always a calling in my heart, I just want him back, with me...