Members wgreenlee Posted November 8, 2013 Members Report Share Posted November 8, 2013 Shannon…that was so special. There are beautiful "things" all around us. Praise God for these little moments of precious memories. I needed that today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wgreenlee Posted November 8, 2013 Members Report Share Posted November 8, 2013 Becky…thinking of you and hoping you're getting over that cold. Worked on my friend's car again this evening. Got the back brakes done and took it for a ride. Now, onto the body... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wgreenlee Posted November 8, 2013 Members Report Share Posted November 8, 2013 Thought I'd post this link to a YouTube video of Brooks' rapping. It's a little edgy, but it shows him on a webcam if you're interested. You gotta like rap. I watched it a couple times and then had to go visit him. Had quite a few FB posts today from his friends. People wanting to hear his music. One of those days I guess. Sometimes I forget that they are still mourning too, so I reached out quite a bit today. It makes me feel good to know they still think of him in such a special way, but it also brings up all those emotions… Had a good cry but decided I needed to take tomorrow off. So tired!!!Love all the poems.Praying and thinking of all of you…God, please be with my special family and bring them and their families peace and joy today, tomorrow, and through this holiday season. Let them feel the presence of their angels in a way that only you can bring. Hug and kiss and tell our children how much we miss and love them. Your love is everlasting. Let us feel that please. AmenLove you buddy. Keep singing!!!!! Dad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mommysangelisabella Posted November 8, 2013 Members Report Share Posted November 8, 2013 Happy birthday susan, i know its bitter sweet but i see your angel behind you right now holding you saying happy birthday mom i love you. Take care of your self all my love wendy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wgreenlee Posted November 8, 2013 Members Report Share Posted November 8, 2013 Praying for everyone to have a wonderful day today. Lots of joy and love even in tough times.Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28Please God give me that rest! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JD's Mom, Becky Posted November 8, 2013 Members Report Share Posted November 8, 2013 Still not feeling up to par, seems to take longer to over infections as a diabetic. Saw this video on FB this morning... Whether it's one drink, one text, one pill, or one moment of inattention; it's one too many.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tobyfreefoot Posted November 8, 2013 Members Report Share Posted November 8, 2013 wade-- what a wonderful treasure to have! very talented kid! i see there are other videos of him rapping. soo lucky to have all that footage! some people rail against technology but i am thankful for every tiny slip of video of my son, though there isn't much. i haven't really kept up very well here lately but i am so sorry you have lost your son. it has been more than 2 years since my son, forest died. still some days no matter where i look i feel sad, i hear in my mind myself say "everything hurts" but i never tell anyone anymore. i am glad you found your way here. at first it was my lifeline, now as time goes by it is the only place i feel free to still talk about my son at length or let anyone know how sad i am Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted November 8, 2013 Members Report Share Posted November 8, 2013 Feeling a little better physically today...thanks to those who asked…*****************************************************************Dee, your poem very much touched me, especially the these lines,“Holy and sacred. They are things, the touchstones that I cherish and protect.”I have not gotten rid of anything of Jesse within the house, I am still not ready to part with his personal stuff, not now, and probably not for a very long time...*****************************************************************Wade, watched your video this morning of Brooks, we do indeed treasure these moments of time that were recorded…I find myself having more difficulty looking at Jesse’s pictures and videos right now…*****************************************************************Gretchen, “still some days no matter where i look i feel sad, i hear in my mind myself say "everything hurts" but i never tell anyone anymore”Another mom who had lost her son about 2 years ago came over yesterday and mentioned exactly what you wrote ...that our pain of loss does not go away, how can it? Yet the further along the grief journey we go, others have moved on…it is the suffering that now we endure in silence among those who still have their life…and that is why I think too “places” like this are so necessary…where we can remember…*****************************************************************Shannon, thought the fairy poem was so well written, Trista’s fairy is so beautiful….*****************************************************************Sorry Becky that you are still not feeling well..there is definitely some kind of nasty “bug” going around…*****************************************************************May post more later..all have a peaceful morning… Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tobyfreefoot Posted November 8, 2013 Members Report Share Posted November 8, 2013 laurie--i haven't gotten rid of any of forest's stuff either. i know my kids don't want me to either. in a may tornado my daughter grabbed everything she had of his and put it in a center closet. she was going to put in the bathroom with her and the baby but she was afraid the pipes might break and flood it. she and her husband just moved into a new rent house and she showed me some built in knick knack shelves and said look i can put forest's anime figures here and then showed me a closet she is going to store his other things in. i guess we aren't alone.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted November 8, 2013 Members Report Share Posted November 8, 2013 Each one of Dee's poems speaks to me....as I have said...I am 'possessive' of my grief....it is mine....I carry and hold it...as I carry and hold him.... and his things....that is mine, too....in this...it is my way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guests Guest Trista's_Mom Posted November 8, 2013 Guests Report Share Posted November 8, 2013 Dee's poems always speak to me too and touch a place deep in my heart and soul. Holy and sacred. They are things, the touchstones that I cherish and protect.Perfect. Thank you Dee, for sharing your words with us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted November 8, 2013 Members Report Share Posted November 8, 2013 I have been reading a book by Jill Thompson, who had lost her entire family in an accident ten years ago. I was intrigued by the title, FINDING JILL...For myself, I definitely am in that struggle...some days it is better than others...I am so angry that Jesse was killed in going to a doctor’s appt. While my infant had died and the choice should have been to take him to a doctor...I will probably take down this post later....................................................................................I am posting a little bit what Jill said in her book. However, I will say that this book is not for everyone, as it is intense in some of its content...for that reason I just skimmed the book and left the rest...This is part taken from a later chapter where Jill is more healed,and what she chose to share with a group who had invited her to speak (she is currently remarried with one son):“I (Jill) then took them (her audience) through my grief recovery and brought them into my present-day life. Near the end of my talk I shared this reflection: “Today I live parallel lives. One is the life of a person struggling endlessly with grief, the other is the life of a wife and mother loving each day she has with her family. From the outside, it may appear as though my life is fully back on track. But the reality is that every minute of every day I struggle to live as a normal person. Happiness is always my goal, but on some days happiness is beyond my reach.”The idea that after the accident I was living parallel lives had resonated with me for a long time. In the beginning of my recovery process, it felt as though my old self was watching an unrecognizable character struggle to survive. This character felt disconnected from me, harsh, unaware of my true condition, and unable to articulate my feelings. I felt as though two different people existed in my body, which perhaps was partly true. However, through many years of soul-searching and study I have learned how to merge the two separate lives into one livable existence...”Kraft Thompson, Jill (2013-08-30). Finding Jill: How I Rebuilt My Life after Losing the Five People I Loved Most (Kindle Locations 2561-2564). Mind, Body, and Soul Productions. Kindle Edition. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guests Guest Trista's_Mom Posted November 8, 2013 Guests Report Share Posted November 8, 2013 Laurie, Thanks for sharing that. I may look up that book. I'm glad you're starting to feel better physically. Also I think your Angel statue is so beautiful. Wade,Loved the video. Your Boy has a lot of talent and his heart is in his words. I have some videos of Trista. Hers are of course just crazy girls having fun but I cherish them. Gretchen,Good to see your post today. For me it's been less time but I find myself "keeping it to myself" already. My Gramma and I were talking yesterday about that and how this journey is so different than anything else and can only be understood by someone who knows.Shannon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted November 8, 2013 Members Report Share Posted November 8, 2013 OH my goodness, what a week. I am thankful for a three day weekend commemorating Veterans Day. Whirlwind, the whole year feels like it is in a whirl and I am doing my best to be in the day doing my personal best, but I keep being blown to a new activity or committee or inservice. I am so glad that I will have time to communicate here with all of you in the way that I am much more comfortable. I miss you all when school is this crazy busy. I am glad that you like TANGIBLE THINGS. I wrote it a long while ago though it still applies. I did give some of ERi's things away to her best buds and cousins, they got to choose from so many things knowing that she needed to spread herself among them, knowing that she would want her favorite boots to be worn again, she would want that cool coat to be worn as well, what about that funky dress---yep, give it to someone who will use it and have a tangible thing too. So I kept that yellow satin prom gown, the double tiered skating skirt that she spent her 5th year in, her lefty mitt that she got when she was a little girl and one from her older years. Her trophies and the gown she wore to my wedding as my maid of honor. The shoes she picked out for our wedding were the very best though, and she fairly loved them, pewter satin wedges with black embroidery decorating the wedge...cost as much as the dress but she was so thrilled by them. So those are with me, as is the garnet necklace that we gave her Grandmom Betty (dad's side) for her birthday long before, Betty wanted Eri the adult to have it. So ERz had it and wore it to the wake, but we took it off of her to keep and hand down. Tangible things, almost can feel the heart beat in them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mommysangelisabella Posted November 8, 2013 Members Report Share Posted November 8, 2013 What can i say first ive watched every vidio and my heart is racing and its hard to breath. Each and everyone of you touch me to my soul. I find myself stopping threw out the day just to see if there are any new post. Sometimes even at 2:00am. Thnk you all for just being you and sharing who you are and your angels. It is so true what has been said we are a family. Laurie,Thank you for the book im going to get it soon. I hv every last little scrap of my isabella. I hvnt even moved a decoration out of place yet. Wade,I cant say anything you dnt already know your brooks is amazing! I loved every second . Thank you for sharing it. Shannon, The story about life with fairys brings a smile to my heart because they hv also been a big pary of my life as well. For my isabella every thing is purple butterflys and lately ive found them every where . Even once under my bair foot in my walk in closet. To make it even more of way of knowing it was my angel she sent it because that butterfly had never been in my house before that. I loved the poem as well.Dee, Every poem , every word not only speaks of my heart but its like youve taken the words straight out of my soul and planted them there in front of me. Thnk you Becky, I will continue to keep praying you heal physically soon , all my love. Everyone ,Do you belive our angels can been seen by those left here ? My 3 year old keeps telling me hes seening his little sister isabella. Once he even said mommy where is isabella ? So i went into mommy mode and grab him placed him in my lap and said honey dnt you remember isabella went to heaven. God needed her to come home because she had a very important job to do . He says no mommy shes not she was just right there. I also hv onw other question . I am no good with technology and i dnt own a computer . I post by phone. I hv pics of my isabella id love to share but cnt fig out how to do it. Any one know how ? Ive fig out how to email them so if anyone is willing to help me once id be very greatful if you could email me id email them to you and when you can post them. Thnks for thinking about it. To everyone i may not hv mentioned by name i want you to know i appreciate you to and you are loved unconditionally. Ill post agen soon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted November 8, 2013 Members Report Share Posted November 8, 2013 Dee....I hope you can get some R&R over the long week-end...things around me have snow balled and things are getting fast paced....holiday events...socials...parties...all start early...and I am trying to step my way through like it was a land mine field...once again...putting myself first...but keeping the 'cherished' ... and this comes with being 'my new normal'.....the person I am changing into...tricky... Laurie....I did not read anything in your post that should be deleted....but you do what you think is right....but....many of us would get a lot of knowledge from the book.....for she described what many of us 'think' of ourselves....being on foreign ground....one foot in one world...the other in another world....I seem very 'detached'....like my human cord came untied...and I am floating away from my earth home....Lora....I know many on the site want you to know we miss your posts....but you take care...and hope you aren't working too hard....hope you are getting some rest in between the two jobs... this year two is not for Sissies....is it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted November 9, 2013 Members Report Share Posted November 9, 2013 I came across the thread on what dying people see shortly after Jesse, it stuck with me because it wasn't on a regular site that was dedicated to this type of stuff, rather it was on the allnurses.com forum which is a site for professional nurses..http://allnurses.com...ead-428873.htmlSince then I have read many books from people involved in hospice care which basically say the same.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted November 9, 2013 Members Report Share Posted November 9, 2013 "Year two is not for Sissies," Susan says, and I so agree, I think that hour two is not for sissies, we find that we have to mine strength from somewhere in order to get from one moment to the next, and we do find it much of the time until we just don't. We simply melt down. But melting down is also part of this and often is a necessary part. We have to wail sometimes, we have to be alone for long periods of time and sometimes, we find we really can't handle noise very much. Many find that their memory, word retrieval skills, listening skills, and concentration have all but disappeared. Don't despair, they have decreased for sure, shock and the energy we spend to still be recognizable to others makes it difficult to maintain full capacity of our processing skills. Ten years later and ten years older, I can honestly say that I probably never fully regained all of my functions again, but close, and I've changed a lot; needing much more time to myself, but now that I am beyond my mid-fifties, some of the 'normal' decrease in skills is happening and I wonder had we never had this huge trauma, would I have sharper skills today???Isabella's Mom, I hope someone here can help you find a way to download photos on this site. I am not at all tech-able but many are. Yes, I do believe that our Angels can be seen and felt and that young ones are often the ones that are most able to see Spirit. They are clear and unblocked and have not had a lot of interference in their energy so they have a ready-to-connect-energy themselves. I think that that is very cool. I am glad that you like the poetry, I wrote through the days of grief and the months and years. I promise the ache will one day become softer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted November 9, 2013 Members Report Share Posted November 9, 2013 I am hanging on with both hands Dee...I know you will not let me go...one day...not today... I will be as with you....not you...but me...for now....am hanging on...I thought the year 2 would be easier...not so...keep me with you...but I know you keep us all...thank you... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted November 9, 2013 Members Report Share Posted November 9, 2013 this is all just so damn hard... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted November 9, 2013 Members Report Share Posted November 9, 2013 am sorry... I meant to Thank you Laurie for sharing..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guests Guest Trista's_Mom Posted November 9, 2013 Guests Report Share Posted November 9, 2013 I do think that our Angels can be seen, felt, and heard and I agree with Dee, that the young ones are more sensitive and open to this. Aiden has had many dreams of his Sissy, that are so vivid are real that he once woke me up in the middle of the night, jumping up and down on the bed saying, "Sissy was here!" Yesterday I shared my fairy story on my facebook page. My friend commented on it and what she said was so sweet. Her son, Noah is Aiden's age (4) and they play together. This is her comment:Oh boy...I debated telling you about a conversation I had with Noah today when we were leaving my shop...not that I shouldn't tell you but when and how...but now I know I must. Noah has been talking a lot about monsters and gremlins...he is convinced (mostly because of Max & his friends) that gremlins are real and live in our backyard. Today he said "I have to fight the gremlins and I need some help. Trista would probably help me." I was taken off guard for a moment but then said..."Trista? Yes I am sure she would...are you thinking about her?" Noah said "Yes she has wings now and is powerful!" I couldn't help but giggle as tears came down. TODAY her fairy presence was all over the Village.Isabella's Mom,I'm glad your little one is able to connect to your Isabella. I cherish the stories Aiden tells and hope I have a dream like that some day. Hugs to you.Susan,This is so hard. I'm sending thoughts and prayers for comfort.Shannon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted November 9, 2013 Members Report Share Posted November 9, 2013 From Dee, Yes, I do believe that our Angels can be seen and felt and that young ones are often the ones that are most able to see Spirit. When I was seeing a counselor she told me about a good friend of hers that had an aunt dying at the nearby hospital. This friend went to visit her aunt but had to bring her young children with. The one child was very little and could not speak yet when this visit occurred...The aunt passed away. Later after about a year this, this friend went past this same hospital...the mom asked her child if she remembered the aunt they visited that day...the child who now could speak said no, but she remembered the angel that was there... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mikesmomrs Posted November 9, 2013 Members Report Share Posted November 9, 2013 SUSAN: Sorry to be so late, but I do hope that you had a sweet day on your birthday and felt your son's sweet spirit surrounding you with even more love than usual. Sending my love and prayers to all of you as you trudge along this road, may you see some glints of sunshine and the spirit of your sweet loves peeking around them at you, sending you their love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jeff's Mom Posted November 9, 2013 Members Report Share Posted November 9, 2013 Carol, it's good to see your post. And how are you holding up these days? I think of you often. Lora...I imagine you are very busy with the holidays around the corner. Take care of yourself and try not to get run down. Susan, hang in there. I know it is very hard and the upcoming events can wear you to a frazzle. Isabella's Mom. Not long after Jeff died my mother-in-law became ill with colon cancer. She died approximately two years after Jeff. While she lay dying towards the end she kept telling us of a couple that came into her room each evening. They told her they were there to help her. She asked them to leave. Still they persisted. Eventually she asked the staff to have them banned from the room. The staff had not seen anyone enter her room in the evening apart from us. A few days before she died Jeff started to visit her. She told one of the nurses that she was worried that he would not be able to find his way out of the hospital as he had not been there before. I am a FIRM believer in guides and help to cross over. Wade...I do hope that your weekend will be action packed and you will have some peace. Laurie and Becky, hope you are both feeling better soon. This is the upcoming long weekend. Remembrance Day. My husbands aunt lost her husband in a bombing raid over Germany. She never remarried. Till the day she died she would become so irritated at those that considered this weekend a holiday. It was indeed a time to reflect on the valiant sacrifices that were made by so many in order that we could continue to enjoy freedom. When we lived in the city we made a yearly trek to a large cemetery that had a huge military section. I would buy some flowers and just randomly walk along placing them on the graves. The last time we did so I sat in the car and briefly tried to decide where to start. I just got out of the car and headed to a site. I was so surprised to look at the name on the stone. He had the same last name as ours. So many brave men and women whose lives were cut short. I can certainly relate to the pain their mothers felt. Now more than ever. In Flanders Fields was written by a Canadian by the name of John McCrae. In Flanders fields the poppies blow...Between the crosses row on row. That mark our place; and in the sky...the larks still bravely singing fly...Scarce heard amid the guns below. We are the Dead. Short days ago...We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow. Loved and were loved...and now we lie in Flanders Fields. Take up our quarrel with the foe: To you from failing hands we throw...The torch; be yours to hold it high, If ye break faith with us who die...We shall not sleep, though poppies grow in Flanders Fields. John McCrae. Jeff and I used to watch am excellent American movie called Memphis Belle every Remembrance Day. It was just excellent. Worth watching if you get a chance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted November 9, 2013 Members Report Share Posted November 9, 2013 Kate, thank you for sharing your stories and poem...I believe that a person's loved ones may be sent back for comfort of a dying person...I have prayed that when my time comes, my sons return for me...The poem is very striking, especially the second verse. I looked it up and found some information on it, including a picture of the original hand written poem:http://www.arlingtoncemetery.net/flanders.htm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jeff's Mom Posted November 9, 2013 Members Report Share Posted November 9, 2013 Laurie, thank you so much for posting this information for us. Another bit of trivia is the story behind Winnie The Pooh. She was purchased as a small cub for $20.00 at a stop in White River, Ontario. Her owner was Lt. Harry Coleman, of the Fort Garry House, a Canadian Cavalry regiment during the First World War. Coleman was the regiment's veterinarian. They headed to England before going to the Front. He placed Winnie in the London Zoo. After the war he decided to leave her there and she was visited regularly by A.A. Milne and his family. His son's name was Christopher Robin. Christopher changed the bears name to Winnie The Pooh and she was named after Coleburn's home town of Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted November 9, 2013 Members Report Share Posted November 9, 2013 Oh Kate, On Flanders Fields is recited each year at our school Memorial Day Observance, the whole school and half the community gather outside around the memorial boulder with names of Oak Park Veterans whose lives were lost in the many battles- and the fifth grade recites this poem to the hush and tears of the crowd. It used to my Children reciting this poem when it was their turns in school. After that poem is read, Two buglers sound TAPS and the fifth grade sings One Tin Soldier. I bring a box of tissue with me for the event each year, it remains a most amazing time.I love the Winnie story. Carol, yes, how are you doing these days of Autumn? How are all of the Grandkids? Are you finding time to rest and take care of YOU?Susan, no I will not let go of you, as best I can I am here to say that you won't forget the essence of your Boy, he will never forget you, he is with you more than you realize and that we here before you are proof that our lives are meant to be discovered again through the smoke and ash of loss. Hold on Sweets, let the grief roll you around and when you find your way back up to take in some stores of oxygen, you will see a piece of sunlight again.Yesterday I went out for my morning walk before the sun was fully up, before school. As I started out I was stopped in my tracks for the lovely site ahead of me. Two side by side trees, golden in color were letting go of their leaves, and I could almost hear the leaves bid farewell to their home as they danced from the brittle stems they formed upon. Some of them skipped down to the ground while others twirled like ballerinas, each different. Right after Eri died, I sent a card to my school for their amazing support and wrote: She fell gracefully from the tree. And so I stood among those leaves falling with such certainty, knowing it was time, knowing it was time, as I believe our Children knew too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jeff's Mom Posted November 9, 2013 Members Report Share Posted November 9, 2013 Dee, your walk earlier sounded magical. Oh, how I wish our weather was as nice. I woke up this morning to a light dusting of snow covering everything. It is now snowing lightly and the roads are slushy. We plan to spend today in our little town doing some more shopping for Christmas. Yesterday was not the best for Ross and so I stayed put and put my Christmas Dickens Village up. It is slowly starting to look like the season now that we have the snow. Another brief bit of interest regarding the war. This would make an excellent movie or so I feel. Tom Hanks and Stephen Spielberg where are you? Three young men that lived on the same block and street that served in the First World War. They all fought in separate battles in the First World War and were awarded the Victoria Cross for acts of bravery. Only one made it home. The street was called Pine street and later named to Valour Road... as that is what is written on the medal. For acts of Valour. I hope that young people today can appreciate the efforts that were and are being made this very day to ensure that our freedom continues. In our busy lives we can... not intentionally... but often take so much for granted. But at what cost? I have always loved In Flanders Fields. I can not for one minute begin to imagine how difficult it is to be in a situation such as that. And how many acts of bravery over the millennium have gone unrecorded. Thinking of everyone today and hoping you have a peaceful day. Love, Kate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted November 9, 2013 Members Report Share Posted November 9, 2013 My Dad would read that poem on Veteran's Day and Memorial Day....thank you for your stories Kate...thanks to everyone who shares their wealth of knowledge...Yes Dee....we can count on you to hold us ....and light the way on the path...I have an interesting story of my Dad and his WW11 buddies...later....when I have time...These low spots can really take the wind form the sail.....I am going to get busy and get something done.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted November 9, 2013 Members Report Share Posted November 9, 2013 from.....sp.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted November 9, 2013 Members Report Share Posted November 9, 2013 "People who have lost someone have a certain look, recognizable maybe only to those who have seen that look on their own faces. I have noticed it on my face and I now notice it on others...The look is one of extreme vulnerability, nakedness, openness. These people who have lost someone look naked because they think themselves invisible. And I feel so invisible, incorporeal in a sense. I seemed to have crossed a veil that divides the living from the dead, to have entered a place in which I could be seen only by those who were themselves are bereaved."******************************************************That kind of sums up yesterday when I went to our local community resale shop…saw another mom there whose son grew up with Jesse (neighborhood playmates since 1996)…overheard another woman comment to her, “So how’s family life?” I felt like sinking into the cracks of the floor tile…*a mix of my thoughts/writing on a passage from The Year of Magical Thinking…*****************************************************Dee, liked your thoughts on the falling leaves... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guests Guest Trista's_Mom Posted November 9, 2013 Guests Report Share Posted November 9, 2013 Laurie,I can completely relate to everything you wrote. Thank you.Susan,I would love to hear the story of your Dad and his Buddies. I hope you find some peace today. The lows can be very very low. You're in my thoughts. Dee,I really relate to what you wrote about decreased capacity of our processing skills. My memory, and attention span are terrible and find it difficult sometimes to retrieve even a simple word. It helps to know it's part of the trauma and shock and does get better in time. I'm just being patient with myself for now. I love the way you "took us on your walk with you". Your words bring images that help bring me peace and comfort. Thank you for that. Kate,Thank you for sharing your stories. I love the Winnie the Pooh story. When I was a kid I loved him. I hope your day is good. I'm so glad we don't have snow yet but I know it's coming. Carol,It was good to see your post. How are you doing?I feel like I've taken a step, a small one, but still a step. Before Trista's accident I had been taking some classes and studying alternative healing techniques. It's something I've always been interested in. I put all that aside completely after Trista's accident, unable to even think of doing healing work when I was so broken myself. Recently I've felt guided to pick back up and I voiced these thoughts to a person who is kind of a mentor. She said, "Sometimes it's through being of service to others that we help ourselves." So yesterday I did my first practice session. My guinea pig/practice client said that the session was wonderful and wants to continue working with me. I was extremely nervous and unsure of myself but as I worked I felt completely connected to the work and it was wonderful for me as well.Thinking of everyone today and sending wishes for peace and comfort.Shannon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted November 9, 2013 Members Report Share Posted November 9, 2013 I would copy this and put it in a card to my children when they went off to college...now it seems to speak to me.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted November 9, 2013 Members Report Share Posted November 9, 2013 Hey Gretchen, how are you these days? Your back?Becky, are you feeling better? Several teachers and staff have been getting ill, one had tonsilitis while another has bronchitis. Icky germs all around, just rest and drink tea with honey. If you can handle some cider vinegar in warm water a few times a day, drink that as it helps cut down on mucus. Shannon, don't measure the size of the step, you may find it is far bigger than you originally thought. This step sounds important and could not take place without all that came before it, the work and the worry and the prayer and the faith. I am excited for you.Susan, I love those words. And yes, sounds like words to read over and over to really hit home that your Boy is with you for all of time.Kate, I love the story of Valour Road. It sounds like a nice plan to do some shopping in town. I hope Ross is having a much better day today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lovU2themoon Posted November 9, 2013 Members Report Share Posted November 9, 2013 "People who have lost someone have a certain look, recognizable maybe only to those who have seen that look on their own faces. I have noticed it on my face and I now notice it on others...The look is one of extreme vulnerability, nakedness, openness. These people who have lost someone look naked because they think themselves invisible. And I feel so invisible, incorporeal in a sense. I seemed to have crossed a veil that divides the living from the dead, to have entered a place in which I could be seen only by those who were themselves are bereaved."*Laurie, this is so true, i even look at pictures of myself before Lane died, i don't look the same at all, i hardly recognize that person.Today a is 3 months since i saw my Lane. Missing him lots today and every day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted November 9, 2013 Members Report Share Posted November 9, 2013 I actually got 'some' things done....I'm great with my business...but I guess because my personal 'persona' is going through some massive time warp mission....I don't have my focus....so it goes with what you described Dee....so I am going to go with the flow...instead of worrying and fussing about the fact that 'it ain't what it used to be'.... it's like...I can hear a phrase....a song....see a photo...I can go to the grocery store...and wham! ..hear him telling me..'Mom, you need to have this in your pantry'....(he could cook for a few or hundreds...and no...he did not get that DNA from me)...another story....and every street and park and place has a memory....and I get lost in all the 'remembering'....and 3 hours later....I am still in the chair. I know each of you do the same. Shannon....girl...you hit that one out of the ballpark....'it is when we reach out with comfort and care...we do receive comfort and care'.....am proud of you....and for all that you have had coming at you from all directions it is a big step. I think we all have a knowing deep inside what will be a part of our healing.Laurie....we all get that 'kick below the belt' .....we know it does not come from malice...it is a place and time situation. It does hurt. You have had 'insult with injury' with your boy...people have said things that were not true....so you are already bruised black and blue....like Becky...and the slightest word or phrase can bring a blow to your broken heart. I do not have the same situation...but many on here will know exactly where your foot falls on the path. It is uphill. It is hard.Carol...thank you for your Birthday greetings....you have certainly been a bright light for me on this dark journey....how many times...I have read your posts....and I get a hand up...one more time...and another time...I do know that the 'helpers' that have been on this site for years...you must know how 'we' would need you. Wade....I do hope you are working on that car...busy hands can give our broken hearts a 'rest'....last year...I made 'so many' wreaths...I lost count of how many...but 'creating' is my gift...and I must use it. I wish you could see my living area with all the 'stuff'....my husband favorite saying is...'every horizontal surface in our house has Susan's stuff'....but he knows it is a part of my DNA.... I was thinking about you and your wife the other day....Brook your only child....but...when he 'left'.....he was with his girlfriend that had 3 children....so...it is sorta like he 'left' you with 3...for all of you were his circle. Now....if that doesn't sound 'right'....it's ok....I am still trying to draw a line from A to B...to make what I think...come out with the right words.Kate...I do love your stories....I hope your shopping trip was good....I cannot wrap my mind around it snowing there....are there already a lot of Christmas lights and decorations...? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted November 9, 2013 Members Report Share Posted November 9, 2013 Wanda.....I agree....we do change....how can we not? We are with you on the 3 month mark....it seems we keep time in a different way....we have a different 'tick-tock'.... I love that photo of you and your boy....I see you beaming with fullness and happiness. It is just so darn hard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guests Guest Trista's_Mom Posted November 9, 2013 Guests Report Share Posted November 9, 2013 Laurie,I have had the same things happen when something so simple shakes me to my core. Reminders of how my life was before. It hurts so much.Dee and Susan, Thank you both for your thoughts and encouragement. This step does "feel right" "right now". I've decided not to think of next week or next year but just what feels right for me "right now". It's odd but I felt Trista's presence so strongly as if she's really encouraging this for me. Wanda,We have changed, our world has changed. I know we seem a shadow of our former selves. I've been thinking about that and wondering "who am I now?" I love that picture of you and your Lane. It is so precious._____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________I am taking each step as it comes to me and learning to follow that voice that comes to tell me yes, this is right. It's hard...so hard but I'm trying.This is from my journal a couple days ago. I am changed forever but there are some things that never ever change. One of them is being... Trista's MomI am thinking, and it may make no sense once I get it out in words, but that’s a risk I take a lot these days… making no sense to anyone but me. Just a few short months ago Trista and I were talking about college. Of course, I was pulling for “close to home” but she had her heart pulling her to bigger cities, farther away. And I took her hand and told her that I wanted her to follow her dreams. I explained that obviously for me “the closer the better” and I would love a college that she could commute to and still live at home or at least an apartment close by but I ultimately want her to be happy and explore and follow her heart. Now, things are so very different, this I never planned for and never thought possible… but some things still are the same. Now, when I talk to her and I want to feel her close I find myself also not wanting to hold her back. I don’t know what it’s like where she is… I can’t know until I get there. I don’t want to keep “calling her home” if it’s holding her back from going where she needs to go. So, I find myself saying, “I miss you, Tris and want to feel you close but only when it’s good for you.” And I realize that some things will not ever change no matter what… Our relationship… the mother-childness of it will never change. Shannon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted November 10, 2013 Members Report Share Posted November 10, 2013 From Susan, “These low spots can really take the wind form the sail.....”Yeah, sometimes you can predict those low spots, and sometimes they come up unaware...I would like to hear the story of your dad and his WWII buddies...whenever you feel up to it...I get lost in the remembering too...Kate, enjoyed the Winnie the Pooh story, I am amazed at how many tidbits of wisdom is nestled in those stories...hope that your husband and you had a good time shopping...Wanda, thanks for sharing the picture of you and your son, I look in the mirror and wonder who that sad person is... those recurring anniversaries can really be so emotionally draining...Wade, hope your work on the car is going well, I think for men, that being busy can be a good thing...especially working on mechanical things can bring about a sense of stability, to hear the motor run, I say that because Jesse’s passion was working on old cars and all sorts of motors...I think we looked at every field beater in a 50 mile radius, he was hoping to find that hidden diamond...I remember when he was much much younger, that one of his tests was jumping in the old car's open trunk, if he didn't fall through, it passed the test...From Shannon, “Now, when I talk to her and I want to feel her close I find myself also not wanting to hold her back. I don’t know what it’s like where she is… I can’t know until I get there. I don’t want to keep “calling her home” if it’s holding her back from going where she needs to go. So, I find myself saying, “I miss you, Tris and want to feel you close but only when it’s good for you.” Wow, I have went through that exact same thought process with Jesse...we always want what is best for our kids...Carol, good to see your post...take good care of yourself....Gretchen, thinking of you tonight...Isabelle's Mom, wishing you a good night...thanks for sharing the story of your little one and Isabelle...Becky, hope you are feeling better and that your family is helping with mom and dad...*********************************************************Today I found another short story from Jesse. It's title is "Yesterday's Tomorrow". I need to type it out as it is handwritten right now...but I plan on posting it when I get it copied over... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sholl1955 Posted November 10, 2013 Members Report Share Posted November 10, 2013 I need to share this as the pain right now is so intense again. I was going through the pictures on my phone about a half hour ago. I came across some I didn't take, and didn't know they were there and had never seen them. They were of Sarah in the hospital after we were told there was no more hope. It was the last time the little girls saw their mama and when she told them she would always be with them even though she was really out of it and only semi conscious. I was not in the room when these were taken as it was more than I could bear. I think my son in law wanted pictures and I guess my phone was the one that was used. HOW CAN THE PAIN SO INSTANTLY GO TO THE VERY DEPTH OF MY HEART AND SOUL, JUST AS BAD AS IT WAS THEN AFTER SO MUCH TIME. AND HOW CAN PEOPLE EXPECT ME TO BE OVER IT NOW. iT IS HARD TO BREATHE AND THE PAIN IS SO INTENSE THAT I CAN FEEL IT PHYSICALLY. THANKS FOR UNDERSTANDING MY DEAR FRIENDS, I HAD TO TELL SOMEONE. SANDY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted November 10, 2013 Members Report Share Posted November 10, 2013 I love the photo of you and Lane Wanda. I have posted this many times because I love love love it, it so reminds me of my Girl, I want to see her dance again, and so this one is for you Wanda.http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xh4sl_neil-young-harvest-moon-video_music Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted November 10, 2013 Members Report Share Posted November 10, 2013 Oh sweet Sandy, how terribly hard this must be, and you must have been so caught off guard. I am so sorry Dear, so sorry. You hold on to us here please, we are holding you too. Please talk with us here and let us know how you have been holding up? How are the girls? YOur new grandbaby and Daughter? Hold on Sweetie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jeff's Mom Posted November 10, 2013 Members Report Share Posted November 10, 2013 Oh Sandy, what a terrible shock. I am holding you close. We are here for you. We do understand. Hold on. Kate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guests Guest Trista's_Mom Posted November 10, 2013 Guests Report Share Posted November 10, 2013 Sandy,I'm so sorry. Thinking of you. Shannon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jeff's Mom Posted November 10, 2013 Members Report Share Posted November 10, 2013 Sandy, I just have to say that as far as others expecting you to "Get over it" well, that is never going to happen. You will learn to adjust your life to live with this pain. But you will never let go of the fact that you are... and will always be the mother of a child that is now not here. It is not us that has the problem... but others that do not know how to deal with it. Your pain is real and you need the support of understanding people. Hold tight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Guest Posted November 10, 2013 Members Report Share Posted November 10, 2013 . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted November 10, 2013 Members Report Share Posted November 10, 2013 Sandy....we are standing strong for and with you....don't forget that ever....all on this site has been my life line....my human boat going down for the last time...and I am not being an untrue...on this...so....just say what you want...we are here...say what you can't to the ones around you...for many of us are the same....but...we will hear you...be here for you....We know your pain...and can listen...am so sorry for where you are now...breaks our hearts...for sure....please let us know how you are...we care...cause...where we are with you... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted November 10, 2013 Members Report Share Posted November 10, 2013 Lora...as always...you are a light for me....thank you for each and every word...and reaching out...I was new when I came on the site....and you were there...and the dates were so amazing...made me catch my breath...and...wonder...but you....and your caring....your Cara...charismatic...coming together....in a fabric...holding me...holding us.....I think I will need to hear from you for forever....to help me hold it together.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted November 10, 2013 Members Report Share Posted November 10, 2013 Yes Lora....this 'second year' is a hard...hard...step....Dee told me that it was very hard for her, too...so.....I am with good company.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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