Loss of an Adult Child

[daniellemom]

I hope to be able to attend no matter where it's at. I'm not much on flying but will try my best to come where ever we decide to have it. The last week in July is not possible for me.

Sonya (Danielle's Mom)

[briansdad]

[user=10710]briansdad[/user] wrote:

Here is another alternative.

http://www.bereavedparentsusa.org/Gathering.html

Greg

ANOTHER VERSION

 

[arc4ever]

Thanks to everyone who extended their moral support to my husband and me in attending the services for Traci (the driver of the van with the disabled passengers).

We went last night to calling hours and today to the funeral, the cemetery and the "food stuff" whatever that is called after.  We made it thru okay.  Sat in th every back and tried to stay inconspicuous (sp?).

I just have to say it was an amazing testament to this woman's life.  It is cold here (like everywhere else) and last night we drove the hour to Springfield and waited in line with everyone else outside in the cold and snow for an hour.  Then waited inside for another hour while the line snaked around the inside of the funeral home.  We watched the line outside as it got dark and the snow came a little harder.  The line was always at the point it was when we got there.  People just waited patiently in the cold and snow for over and hour then again inside for over an hour to pay their respects.  Traci and her husband and sons were seriously involved in sports.  There were all these young men who went and had mohawk haircuts (not drastic, just kinda shaved down with a pretty short mohawk) and they had Traci's initials cut into their hair.  It was so sweet.

Today at the funeral, it was standing room only and this was a big place.  Every seat was filled and they had people in every room of the funeral home.

The processional to the cemetery took almost an hour to go probably 15 miles.  It snaked all the way thru town and there were police at every major intersection.

Pretty amazing.  Traci touched many lives and will be missed a great deal.

It was so difficult to see Traci's husband and three sons.  They held up very well, but my husband and I were talking on the way home and we know it will be so difficult for them to come.  I think God sends us into autopilot shock mode so we can get thru those first days and weeks.  It is what is to come and the realization that comes along later that tears us up.

Just got home and I think I am going to cuddle in bed and watch some tv for a while.  We have to go to the store later because we seriously have no food in the house.

Thanks again everyone for their well wishes.

Love to all Terrie (Adam's mom)

[mikesmum]

Terri - Auto pilot yep, we all do that each day to get through.  It does amaze just how many people are touched by that one person.  Hope the warmth and the glow of the TV sends you to a peaceful sleep.

Wow Indigo's such interest in 'coming together'.                 

Greg I love the BP flier. The deal sounds good. Do you have any idea how 'structured' the days would be?

Is there a registration fee aside from accomodation and meals?  I know this info is probably forth coming but just curious.

How is the date for everyone?? 

More questions

Bonnie - any date for Pinnicles yet?  (even after BI get together I hope to be around for Pinnicles)

Dee - Erifest date? 

How does Illonis fit for a 'central location' with everyone?

My spider sense is tingling.......

[briansdad]

Trudi,

The BP Gathering is as structured as you want it to be. If I remember correctly the fee was about 30.00 or 40.00 dollars.You don't have to buy the meal plan. you can wing it on your own.There are many meetings on so many subjects. I'm trying to get Kelly to see if she would come to this and have a Beyond Indigo seminar.

Greg 

[Guest]

Greg - thanks for listing the link to BP.  I read through some of the other things on the site, ie...symptoms or signs of grief.  I was relieved to know that yawning is actually part of grieving.  (who knew?)  Lately, I yawn all the time!

[arc4ever]

Trudi:  Yeah, the tv sent me right to sleep, and I slept deep for three hours.  Guess I needed it.

It's 7:00pm and I'll be going to bed again about 9:30pm.  I'm sure I'll sleep then too.

I told you all that I was starting the exercise boot camp. 5:30am - 6:30am five days a week.  I feel pretty decent physically which I am seriously suprised about I was fairly sore last week.  I'm trying real hard, but yeah I am tired in the evenings.

Take care,

Terrie (Adam's mom)

[lolynbo]

OK SOMEONE SMART MAKE A LIST OF WHERE WE ARE ALL FROM..AND FIND A CENTRAL POINT FOR ALL OF US...

IM FROM OKLAHOMA... RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE

[lolynbo]

OK SO IM GONNA WHINE A BIT...WE DID GET A INVITATION TO THE WEDDING...AND THE INVITATION ITSELF MADE ME CRY...I JSUT DONT KNOW IF I CAN GO TO THE WEDDING OR NOT...ID SO LOVE TO SEE IT (MAYBE COMPARE IT TO KOURTNEY AND BRENTS OWN WEDDING IDK)...

BUT I CANT TRUST MY EMOTIONS OF BEING IN CHECK...SO WHAT IF I GO AND I CRY AND MAKE A LOUD OUTBURST OR SOMETHING...WHO THE HELL KNOWS WHAT I MIGHT DO...

BUT THEN ON THE OTHER HAND HE THOUGHT OF US ENOUGHT TO INVITE US AND SHE DID TOO...AND ID HATE TO SEEM LIKE WE WERE UNABLE TO GO BECAUSE WE JUST DIDNT WANT TO WELCOME THEIR UNION????!!!!

AND KEEP IN MIND WE WILL PROB BE RACING WITH THEM AT THE TRACK THIS SEASON TOO..AND SURE DONT WANT ANY HARD FEELINGS...

I JUST DONT NO....IM REALLY HAVING A PROBLEM WITH THIS...ANY SUGESTIONS?

(FOR YAL THAT DONT NO MY DAUGHTER KOURTNEYS HUSBAND OF 9 MONTHS IS GETTING REMARRIED JAN 30TH..AND WE HAVE BEEN INVITED)

[mikesmum]

Lorrie - She truly is beautiful.  I wonder what Kourtney would have wanted for her husband...I get that you all live life to the full.  From sports to holidays.  I know how hard it will be to be there with all your heart holds.  But like you say, they thought enough of you and yours to invite you.....hard decision.

I think a list of localities together with 'accessibility' would be good.   Pls don't include my locale, it might just squew the map to the middle of an ocean (lol)

Terrie - Boot camp OUCH.  I think being physically tired wins over the emotionally drained tired we all feel.  This week I started acupunture for anxiety and depression.  I have done alot of research on its benefits.   First session was Monday am.   Slept for 3 solid hours after - no dreams, no thoughts that usually plague my rest...

The cool change hit here yesterday - now a pleasant 22C with cool breeze.  Emily is 11 on Friday - where did that time go???

Take Care - Trudi

[ericasmom]

Ok, so ERI-Fest will be either the 11th or the 17th of July, Eri was hit on the 8th, died on the 14th. We usually hold the day on a Sunday in our yard.

There are some older hotels in Oak Park, (next door town) but no modern ones with pools or anything. Both of these are in areas of historical interest. There are a ton of hotels of course in the city, near the lake and they are more updated with pools and near the hub of Downtown Chicago. I will try to find some prices to post.

Lorri, she is so pretty that Bride Kourtney. She had the joy of that day and it will always be her special day, and therefore yours. I know that it will be hard to attend the wedding, however if you are able to go, do so with a huge supply of tissues. Or if you think you won't be able to keep it together enought, just go to the reception where there may be less emotion? Just thinking in print. It is also understandable if you send a note off to the couple and tell them how dear it was for them to extend their special day to you, but you are afraid of your emotions so you kindly decline the invite.

Terrie, good that you slept like that, you had a huge emotional slam, I am glad that you two went to support the family. Keep yourself tucked in and cozy, since you are getting up to do boot camp. Good for you. I wish I could bring you my pot of chicken soup with black rice. It was great. I made it last night not knowing that indeed I had a huge cold out of thin air hitting me. So chicken soup tonight in hopes that this very sinus attacked cold will take a hint and leave.

Trudi, certainly your location would skew things but in such a fun way, a Trudi way. I am holding your little hands as you head into the times of heavy memory, but there is that rainbow, Em. Happy birthday Big Beautiful Girl. Your Uncle smiles on you each day, he and all the meerkats in heaven.

Greg, thanks for so much to ponder, great info.

Sonya, Lyn, Sus, Bet, Bets, Greg, Dan, Kath, Claudia, Rosie, Beth, All, Everyone of you lovely folks, I would love to meet you each.

dee

[katant]

Hello my BI friends.  I know I don't post much, but I have been dealing with a repeat of deep ptsd from losing Anthony being killed by a drunk driver.  We let ballons go for his 21st birthday and it was nice.  His favorite colors are red and black so I got 8 red, 8 black, 4 silver and 1 Happy 21st Ballon. 

This Saturday we are having a Memorial Hockey game for my son who played hockey for 10 years, winning 2 championships, what great times....anyway....this will be the first time since the crash, 3 years ago I will be walking back into the ice rink he basically grew up in.  I will also be going on to the ice to start the game.  Money from the game will be going to MADD - mother's against drunk driving.

I am feeling all feelings and really not sure how I will react on that night.  I am afraid of the smell, the noises, hearing the slap of the puck, the goals, the skates on the ice...just all of it.  I never missed a game in 10 years...lots of games and such goods times, good friends and lots and lots of laughs.

hope to post some pics this weekend.  I hope all is well.  I hope to travel next month to get my head straight. 

Anyway, trudi, claudia, dee, and all my friends ((bigs hugs))  kathy  ant's mom

[summergirl]

Just lost my post so will try again....aaarrrggghhh

I am so excited about everyone coming together for a reunion....I am from East Hampton, Long Island, New York, as far east as you can get, I love to drive but hate to fly but will make an exception for to be able to meet whoever can come. I failed myself miserably last year by not going to MN and I will not do that again. Greg - thank you for the info, sounds nice, never been to AK.    Trudi....I am sorry to say but I am glad that we can exclude the "land down under" for the reunion....asw much as I have always wanted to visit your homeland, since I was a little girl, I am afraid I would not be able to fly that long - they would have to put me out for the entire trip. I would love some day to go there, to see all the the wonderful places that you call home, the rivers, the mountains, the cafe's...to walk along the ocean sand with you and talk for hours...some dreams do come true....  Illinoise sounds like a good place to me....   How is the acupuncture doing, I have read of it but never thought to try it, heard many good things about it.   The days are going by fast and I know that the stress and anxiety of Mike's upcoming angelversary lays heavy on your heart, I am hugging you close and hope that the energy for all of us here reach you.   Happy birthday little Emily..

Lorrie - what a beautiful Kourtney, those eyes and that smile...tears.   I can understand your anxiety about the upcoming wedding...I believe you are strong enough to attend if you want to, I do not think you will make any LOUD noises during the ceremony but you may have a major meltdown in the bathroom afterwards !! What ever you decide we are all with you.  If you think you cannot do it then maybe you can talk to the groom, he was married to your Kourtney so he must be a wonderful man and I am sure he would understand....

Carol - thanks for the info on going on BI at work....best to leave it at home anyway. I love all the Christmas pics....

Terri - amazing how one person can impact so many in a life time, your dear friend was loved by many.  It must have been so diffacult for you and your husband but so glad you have each other to lean on.

Dee - would love to attend the ERI fest ... one never knows

Susannah - what a beautiful pic of your daughter, that smile is amazing.

Kathy - the memorial for your Anthony is going to be wonderful but I know the stress you are feeling as you think of walking back onto the ice, all the familar things that bring the memories flooding back.  When my Jessica passed, I went to the restaurant where she was that night, she passed while in the bathroom....I went every other week on a Thursday night and took flowers, pictures and wrote notes and left them there, I went for almost a year, always by myself....the owners would greet me and always had a vase waiting for the flowers....the first time I went I almost passed out knowing that I was standing where my Jessica took her last breath but I could not stop going, no explanations as to why I felt the need, I just did.  I am glad I did, they are closed now, the business sold....will not be ablt to ever go again.   I pray that you feel Anthony's love and strength to take you through the memorial.

Well, my Tavian has a "crush" on a girl in the same grade but a different teacher !!! He told me last night but made me promise not to tell Pop-pop ( too funny)..today he got up and brushed his teeth extra long and put deodarant on (OMG), changed his clothes twice because the first ones did not "look good" !!! I don't know whether to laugh or cry.   He will be 8 Feb 11 and I figured I had a least a few more years before I heard anything about girls - all you virtual grammies had better stick with me as I fear I am going to need you all to get me through this.      Had a nice talk with other grandmother, worked some things out. She said her 2 week visit with family in the Dominican did her alot of good, much thinking, alot about Jessica.  She is taking Tavian this weekend so he will be having another Christmas...I talked to Tavian about going (not mentioning presents) and he said he wanted to go, that makes me feel better. I think because he has not been there for over a month makes a difference so we are cutting down on the amount of time he goes see how it works.

Well, I have talked enough tonight....sometimes you just cannot help it. I love you all and peaceful dreams.  Kathy, Jessica's mom always

 

 

 

 

[Guest]

Hi Indigo's.

I don't really have a preference where the "reunion" will be.  I'm sure I'll be flying no matter where we have it.  My concern is being able to get away from the kids.  Gary and family members will have to pick up the slack.  IF I can leave them for a weekend. 

These little people have become such an important part of our lives.  Gary and I were talking tonight about how our names will appear on their birth certificates as their parents.  :shock:

We won't change their names.  They will continue to call us Grandpa and Grandma, but it confirms the importance of what we're doing.

Last February 20th, when we received the phone call telling us what had happened to them, we vowed to do everything in our power, and spend our last dime, to save them.  We've about accomplished both! 

Now, we just hope we don't screw up their lives!  Jonathon had a tough time going back to school yesterday after being off for three weeks.  He cried for me the whole time.  I asked him why he missed me so much yesterday when usually he loves school.  "You're softer."  He said.  He calls me "My sweet, sweet Grandma!" 

He was only four when we got them.  The first week with us, he said, "Grandma, I just can't thank you enough!"

They're worth our last time!  I am amazed by them!

I wasn't able to do much today.  Missing my girl!

Love you all!  Susannah/Stephanie's mom

[ericasmom]

Hi Ant's Mom, Kathy. I am glad to See your Handsome Boy smiling out. It sounds like the balloon launch felt like a good way to mark Anthony's birthday. The colors were just right, Mr.21. I know that Eri wanted to be 21 when she was about 12. Never made it, but lived to 19, and did more than most 21 year old do by the time she was 15, some of it good, some of it not. I love the sound of blades on ice. When I was young I skated outdoors, the winters in Chicago were reliably cold, and so parks were frozen all around th ecity. I used to imagine that I was somehow a great skater. NO i mean GREAT! So I skated round adn round, listening to my blades skim against the ice, a sound that brings great solace. When Erica was  2 she started skating. What a funny little sight, a tiny girl skating, and almost her first sentence spoken that day, that first day at the rink, "don't hold my hand." And so I didn't and away she went, rounding the corners with the greatest of ease. She moved pretty fluidly, and she never fell that day. She was a good skater all of her days. Love that sound, and the cold smell in the rink that instant dry/cold smell. The big Zamboni scooting around the corners cleaning off the ice, revealing the jagged marks from blades that bit the surface.

I hope that you go and allow all the emotion that may come forward as this night dedicated to your Boy will be powerful and mighty. It will do good things in Anthony's name and memory. Honoring him. He will be there, proud as ever that His Momma is standing there.

Claudia, I love the monkey story, so adorable.

Sus, sounds like your little ones have been through so much and yet hold the grace of saints. Give them hugs from me please. Going back to school after a break is hard for most kids, but for those who have had trauma in thier lives, it is double that of other kids. They get settled in and then the routines are disrupted. It is hard because they come to depend on the routines, the routines keep their lives making sense and give them things in which to bank on. When it changes up, their sense of order and safety can get shaken.  Sounds like you and Gary are working very hard to hold them close and give them the best of this world in the face of adversity. It is in this new life that they will find their voice, their convictions, their religion. (spirituality).They are safe now to explore the world. How very good.

Sleep deeply all,

red-nosed-woman

[mikesmum]

Here's the thing - I am leaning towards the BP gathering.  

The costs you can expect to pay are registration of $25 per person until June 1 and a total of $75 for a family until June1, 2010. After June 1, registration goes to $35 and for a family $85. The hotel cost is $99.23 per night and four adults can share a room. The meal package is $132 per person and there will be a fee for individual meals insted of a package if you want and there will be a child's menu with prices of 9.99 and 12.99. Please let me know if you need more info. There will be more information around Feb. 1 on the national website.  I got this from BP.   As Greg says, its entirely flexible.  The room rate is what we had last year. 

I wanted to be in Chicago for Erifest...just something I wanted to do.  Same with Pinnicle days....hey sounds like a 'roadtrip'!!!

Kath - I hope you are able to see the hockey night as a celebration in honour of Anthony.  I know how precious this young man/boy is to you....lots of pics and heaps of love surround you!

Take Care - Trudi

[zachysmom]

I have an idea. Instead of having one unofficial or even official gathering why not everyone post their memorial plans and those who are able to be there can go and this way we can support each other through those events. As time goes by we will be able to visit with all those friends and family we made here. This way it is easier for all of us to be able to make arrangements and still allow for family and previous arrangements.

 

Just a thought

[arc4ever]

Kathy:

I will keep you in my prayers.  It is so hard to go back to the places that held such wonderful memories.  Take it easy on yourself before AND after you are there.  I have found the after sends me into a deep hole I have to climb back out of.

Blessings to you my friend,

Terrie (Adam's mom)

[arc4ever]

My heart breaks for those in Haiti, so many people.  Such an impoverished country to begin with and this terrible devastation and loss is just so heartwrenching.

Prayers for all those involved in this tragedy.

Terrie (Adam's mom)

[ericasmom]

Beth, good idea, also love the idea that Greg put out and that Trudi spoke of as it is good prices and a forum that brings all together. I still will look for prices in Chicagoland area if that is still on the table. I did find some as I said with a $99.00 price per night, so let's look at all the choices involved. My husband suggested taht we first decide on a date and then the rest can be decided.

ERi-fest is a very casual time out in the yard if it doesn't rain, and we simply gather and laugh and send off balloons and eat and enjoy each other. If you would like to be here, do. Confirming the date will come, but I have to discuss with Son. I will get back to you all.

dee

[ericasmom]

I agree with you Terrie, the devastation of Haiti, the poorest country in the Western Hemispere in the first place, is so very sad. John and I watched a show about Haiti and the peace keeping forces there to try to get rid of the gang behavior in the cities, just the night before the quake. Many of those UN peacekeepers were killed as the building they were headquartered at collapsed. I am so sad. Several years ago, my class raised money for children there to attend school. Kids cannot attend school in Haiti unless their family can afford the uniform, yellow blouses or dresses and yellow shirts and black pants, so our class raised enough money for 5 kids to have uniforms. One of my students' grandparents went to Haiti each winter to help out at the school, and they brought to our attention the need for help there. They brought back photos of these beautiful children dressed in yellow now able to go to school. I so hope that one day, all kids in the world will be able to go to school to fill their minds and spirits with forward thinking. Prayers then for all of Haiti as the light of day shines on the sad state of life there today.

dee

[arc4ever]

I know several of us are animal lovers.

I have a dear friend who is a dog groomer, has trained horses and worked in the animal industry almost all her life.

Deb has a new job writing articles on pet grooming, etc. for the Parkersburg WV Gazette.  She gets paid for each person who subscribes to receive her articles in their email. 

In this economy, the simple act of subscribing to receive an email of an article we may be interested is a pretty simple thing to do.

So, I if anyone is interested, I'm going to post the link to follow to get to Deb's article and to subscribe if you are interested.

I hope it is okay, and I haven't broken any rules!  I just know there are quite a few animal lovers and Deb is really good at what she does.

Here is the link:  

http://www.examiner.com/x-34937-Parkersburg-Pet-Grooming-Examiner~y2010m1d6-Have-a-better-experience-at-the-Pet-Groomers-with-your-new-Puppy?cid=email-this-article

Thanks,

Terrie (Adam's mom)

[ericasmom]

My Son just called, tearful, telling me he just went to afuneral of a woman, Jill, who is his good friend, Phillip's Mom. SHe died unexpectedly, and Jonathan is reliving all that he tries to push down.

Prayers for Jill's Son Phil, and her husband and family.

thanks,

dee

[arc4ever]

Dee, I will keep your son and his friends mother in my prayers.  So hard for all involved, including your son.  We can't help but feel our own grief when we experience the loss of others.

Take care,

Terrie (Adam's mom)

[hotrod]

Dear Dee  I am on my way out and will light a candle and say a prayer for Johnathan and his friend and family.  I am so sorry your son is in this pain .  It is not easy to loose a parent so young!!!

Beth I agree it would be good to know of all the different memorials planned by members so we could try to attend but I also would like to see if we could organize one just for INDIGOs. Greg and Trudi thanks for all the research done so far.  The BP meetings sound very organized. 

I too look forward to going and meeting everyone. Terrie,   Mary Ann, Colleen, Sherry, Carol, Kathy, Sue, Susannah, Lorrie, Lynn, Leahm Sonya, Marcia, Dan Greg  and Betsy and all Indigos stay warm and safe

Betty

Stephen'smom:)

[mikesmum]

I am humbled seeing the devastation of Haiti.  A people with so little having been dealt such horrific losses..  Prayers for those who remain, for strengths to those who aid in the recovery and hope for a future borne of humanitarian understanding.

Dee - Jon so raw from loss..  My heart to him as he struggles with memories and feelings.

Betty - One of the things that drew me to the BP event was the fact that it ISN'T structured or restrictive.  Its up to the individuals how much they want to participate.

As for a BI component, we can still have time set aside for just us at this event.

A date would be a start - thanks Gnome! 

I would like to suggest the BP date to be a start.  Those wanting to continue on to Erifest are able to do so. 

[daveydow1]

YIKES......Am I ever behind in my reading of your posts......PAGES BEHIND.

Have been so busy with so many things.

Dee---Prayers for Jonathan, and his friend, Phil, who lost his dear mother, Jill.

 

 Will try to do better at 'keeping up'.:?

 I wish PEACE & COMFORT FOR EACH AND EVERYONE ON BI. 

      Davey&Lisasmom,  Sherry

[ericasmom]

For those of you unsure of what my Sister Trudi meant by thanks gnome, well it was born out of a photo last year of my garden, she asked who the garden gnome was in the background, and when I looked closely I saw that I sent a photo wiht my very private husband in it. So we laughed, never told the husband, so he came with me to the gathering in Minnesota. The first thing Trud says to him, " Hey the garden gnome came." Hilarious! John loved it too.

Love to all, wanting to meet everyone here cause I love everyone here.

dee

[shorty16]

Hello my BI friends,

It is actually warmer in WI today - a whole 28. 

What about July 23, 24, 25, 2010 for a gathering?  I turn a year older on the 23rd and would love nothing else, but to spend it with my BI friends?

Dee is right.  We should select the date and all else will come after that.

Since Chicago is near a large body of water, it does not get terribly hot for a long period of time.  Humid yes!!

Eastern WI is the same way.

Love to you all. 

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever

[lolynbo]

WANTED TO SHARE A PIC.WITH YAL, I DONT KNOW WHERE I FOUND IT BUT ITS REALLY NEAT ..HOPE IT POSTS

[heartbeataway]

The BP event would work for me also.  I agree with Trudi that we could still do something as a group.  I would also be happy with Erifest.

Pinnacle Days is tentatively scheduled for the weekend of September 17th.

When I was watching American Idol I thought what a great place Boston would be for us to meet. 

Maybe someone should be in charge ....

[Guest]

How was the reunion organized last year?  Who sponsored it?

[daveydow1]

Dee---Yes, ........the earthquake in Haiti is truly a devastating blow to the

people of that poor nation. Our priest is (and has been for years) an advocate

for humanitarian aid to Haiti. I will make my  donation to his 'Aid to Haiti'

effort.  The scenes on t.v. about the wreckage & human suffering there is

overwhelming, and I'm glad that the U.N. , the United States, (and so many other

nations)  & military units, medical units are pouring in to ease the suffering.

Prayers for those people.

Lorrie-----Oh, thank you so very much for the sweet, beautiful pic of the little

baby in God's hand. I'm sure many people have a story in their lives that relates

specifically to that photo, as I do. I think of it as my little baby Lisa....... gone for

so many years.  Thanks again, dear Lorrie.......you made my day.

            Davey&Lisasmom,   Sherry 

[summergirl]

Lorrie - love the pic of the baby angel...

Terri - I subscribed to your friend Deb's website..

I am so excited by all ther talk of the BI reunion...I prefer to having as many of us here to meet, where ever the place may be. I am pretty flexible in taking time off, have 5 weeks vacation time this year and free to use them when I want.  I like the idea of Chicago and also like Greg's idea..like I said I am flexible so will work around everyone else.

Dee - I aso sorry for your son having to face another loss, the pain of losing Eri and his dad have put enough on him....I pray for him and the family on such a sudden and sad loss.   Love the Gnome story

Susannah - I understand your concern of leaving your grandchildren. Tavian was just 4 also when Jessica left us so I know the fear of leaving them for any length of time. Although Tavian did not expeirence much of what your grandchildren have it was still so very hard on him....he was so attached to me it was difficult to even send him to school but I had to try to keep things as "normal" as possible for him.  You have been on this journey for such a short time where as I have been almost 4 years so the difference in Tavian now is amazing. Yes, I know the feeling too of spending every last dime and doing every thing in your power to save them, we too had to spend just about every last dime fighting for custody for a year and a half but it was worth every penny, every tear when the judge signed the final full-custody papers. I hope that everything works and you are able to meet with us.

I am praying for all of those in Haiti tonight, the loss is devastating and tears at the heart for all those there and those here who have family there.  I know God will hear all of our prayers.

Tavian is very excited to be going to his other grandmother's for the weekend, he said he wants to go because he has not seen her and the girls for a long time. That makes me feel so much better about him going and I can sure use the break....

Love and peace to all. Kathy

[lolynbo]

LISA WAS ONE I WAS THINKING OF..AND MY LIL ANGEL BEFORE KODY..AND AMANDAS LIL BRAYDEN...SO MANY I CANT REMEMBER THEIR LIL NAMES...BUT IT MAKES US FEEL BETTER CUZ GOD HAD THEM IN HIS HAND SO THEY COULD GET UP THERE AND BE WITH THE OTHERS BE FOR THEM...MAYBE KOURTNEYS GETTING TO HELP WITH THEM SINCE SHE WANTED KIDS AND NEVER GOT THE CHANCE LILKE SO MANY OF OUR ANGELS..

KODY HAD BLOOD WORK DONE THE OTHER DAY AND HIS LIVER ENZIME LEVEL IS LOWER THEN IT WAS (WAS AROUND 80'S) NOW DOWN TO 50'S...SO WE ARE DOING SOEMTHING RIGHT...THANK YOU GOD

KODY AND BROOKE ICE SKATING JUST FEW WEEKS AGO

[ericasmom]

This morning when I went walking under the moonlit clouds, I walked across a snowy field as I have for4 or so mornings recently. It is a baseball/soccer field. I wrote Eri's name hugely the other morning, just huge, probably 12 feet long letters traced into the snow with my boots. Makes me so happy to see Eri's name sparkling in snow, smiling up at heaven. So this morning, I walked across the field asking ERi adn all of our angels, and I named them, and yes I was talking  aloud but using  a quiet voice, to please reach out adn assist those rising from the ash and dust of Haiti, help lift them over the heartache, and zip them to the light of peace.

Please Lord and Angels, bless the souls that left in the quake, and especially bless those that did not, for they are going to bury their loved ones, rebuild the towns, and suffer the sadness of so much loss. May we learn how to help them powerfully well, side by side until they are on thier own feet. Bless our steps and each one of theirs.

Love,

dee

[ericasmom]

These were written after the quakes in China two years ago, they seem to mirror the sadness as this time in Haiti.

The Earth Shook

Somewhere between the silence and the stench

Lay so many not quite able to leave-

Pointing to blue sky from beneath the rubble and ash,

And wishing for their lives back,

Anguish filled as the earth settles into its new foundation.

Thousands are there now.

In memory of those lost in the earthquake  in China, May 2008

And now too, to those lost and living in Haiti, January 13, 2010

Shaking the World

Surrounding the silence is the dread-

The absolute despair of loss-

of lives, and livelihood and shelter and legacy.

All gone in a minute and a half-

shook from the cellar-just beneath their foundations.

All made from cheap supplies,

houses of cards fold in on each other, and now the street is home to a collection

just a handful,

of woe-be-gone civillians.

[mikesmum]

[user=39355]msnher[/user] wrote:

How was the reunion organized last year?  Who sponsored it?

It was to be organized thru BI.  Unfortunately we couldn't manage the numbers so an 'unoffical reunion' came together.  We were able to obtain the corporate rate for the rooms in MN.

There were 6 of us.   No sponsor.

I like the place in Little Rock, the name, the feel.......

[briansdad]

[user=19401]heartbeataway[/user] wrote:

The BP event would work for me also.  I agree with Trudi that we could still do something as a group.  I would also be happy with Erifest.

Pinnacle Days is tentatively scheduled for the weekend of September 17th.

When I was watching American Idol I thought what a great place Boston would be for us to meet. 

Maybe someone should be in charge ....

If you all decided on the Bp Gathering I could solicit the chairperson to add us to the seminar list. If kelly could come she could tell the new people about us and If she can't, we could probably do it collectively.

[mysonrich]

Yesterday I felt the storm clouds forming in my mind, in my thoughts. Rolling in the same way we view a thunderstorm approaching from miles out. Dark,rolling clouds. I didn'see that the sky was blue.I didn't feel the winter day or the warmth of the sun. I went to the mailbox and found a package. Because of the genorsity of a BI member, the clouds disappated as i opened this package, greeted by a wonderful smell that brought to the forefront of my mind memoriesof my son and good times we shared however mundane they may seem to others, memories of life.

Something as simple as going to 7-11 for coffee and a bagel with my son. he would run in and fix up a cup of coffee for me, expertly done and a colafor himself. and of course bagels though not as good as the one's that arrived yesterday.7-11 is where Rich learned how to use a debit card. he learned what a PIN was.

there have often been times during this last year that I have felt as if I had done something terribly wrong to myson. I felt as if he may have hated me and nightmares came in the night. perhaps I had missed something. Needless to say these feelings came about due to the grief ,pain, greed of others. Their words cut to the core of my being and left me doubtful sons love. I have since learned , have since had many sings that this wasn't the case. My son lived with me and his sis until he was 16. A decision was made and it certainly is to late to change that but no matter, our love for each other didn't falter. People. sometimes they just suck.

 

So in the middle of the talk of reunions, meet-ups I wanted to share this act of kindness. and believe me, I realize what a great, beautiful bunch of people you all arehere on BI. Even the time that I am a complete ass. yes, me.can you believe that !

 

So I am off to a new day. i had thoughts of running away to FL this weekend. I thought sun and warn air would help. I am a day short in travel time though and it appears that the warmth came to me.

 

thank you Betty.

 

Betsy,mysonRich

[hotrod]

[user=27668]mysonrich[/user] wrote:

Something as simple as going to 7-11 for coffee and a bagel with my son. he would run in and fix up a cup of coffee for me, expertly done and a colafor himself. and of course bagels though not as good as the one's that arrived yesterday.7-11 is where Rich learned how to use a debit card. he learned what a PIN was. 

 

 

Deat Betsy

I am so happy that the bagels arrived safe and smelling good.  I did hear you talk about NY bagels several times and thought I would send you a sample:)

I am so glad that they brought back happy memories of Rich and the simple wonderful times that you spent together.  I too have had dark days in which I could remember arguments and harsh words exchanged between Stephen and myself.

I have always come around to the fact that we truly loved each other.  Arguments between parent and children  are NORMAL and the love we shared was strong and true.  Just like the love you and Rich enjoyed.  Take care of yourself during this difficult time.  You and Trudi  are in my thoughts and prayers this month.

 I do hope we get the reunion going I would just love to see  and hug everyone.  I am also looking forward to making the short DVD and seeing it completed with the story of each angel.

 I always try to  write all  your names so that I can see your angel and smile:

 Dee, Trudi, Beth, Sonya, Terrie, Marcia, Sue, Sussannah, Leah, Mary Ann. Kathy, Bonnie, Sherry, Colleen, Betsy, Dan, Greg all other Indigoa

  My brain is not functioning too well this AM, so if I did not list your name I did not forget your angel.

Have a safe warm day Indigos

Betty

Stephen'smom:)

[briansdad]

Now if only you could send a New York pizza. 

Greg

[hotrod]

Hey Greg 

In NY nothing is impossible 

I will have to work on that!!!!

Betty

[hotsauce]

good morning to EVERYONE here at BI, good to see all the new pictures and talk about the get together.

BETTY, always good to hear from you, always thinking of all of us.

BESTY, any more news on the baby?

i wonder how AMANDA and the BABY are doing.

just misssing my BRIAN, and wanted to see his picture on the board.

love, hugs and prayers to ALL

hope the weather gets better. so cold.

mary ann

BRIAN'S momdukes

[zachysmom]

I was finally able to get to my sons' site alone and take this picture. The tree has blue ornaments and solar led lights. The two snowmen on each side light up as do the other two lights. The hanging snowman in the middle changes color. Getting things together to redecorate for valentines day.

[hotrod]

Dear Beth

What  precious beautiful Christmas Decorations!!!! The tree,snowmen, lights really  did honor your little angel, Zachy. Looking forward to the Valentine's display. 

Mary Ann so glad to see  Brian's wonderful face when I signed on.   I try to post each day so  that Stephen's picture is displayed and he is remembered.   I am glad you decided to do likewise.!!

Betty

Stephen'smom:)

[lostwoher]

 Beth, I really like the decorations for lil Zachy. I actually broke down and bought a tree the same size for Kayla for next xmas. I havent had a tree up for 2 yrs now and I know how dissapointed she would be so from now on she will have one. I never new solar lights existed until last week when I searched online for them. How wonderful! Im not sure what I will come up with for Valentines day- better get busy on that

I too would enjoy meeting everybody. No one time is better than another. Its kind of a hit and miss for me. All depends on if anybody has already requested the time off so we need to get on it. Looking forward to it tho.

Love n hugs to All,

Lynn

[mikesmomrs]

Lorri:  Does "AND MY LIL ANGEL BEFORE KODY" mean that you have lost a baby other than your sweet Kourtney?  If so, I am not sure that any of us knew about that, unless I missed the post about it...if that is the case, I am so very sorry.  Your heart is burdened and broken, but I am glad that we are all here to help each other through the days when it's tough to take the next breath.

Beth:  I love the decorations you put up for Zachy...we know that he is jumping up and down with joy over their being there.  I love the solar lights also...haven't found any that fill the bill for us here in the cold northeast...not enough daylight hours in the winter to keep them lit up.  I had some around the front of our house, but finally had to take them in for the winter...most of them would only dimly light up, if at all, once we got deep into winter.  Thank you for sharing your decorations with us.

Mary ann:  Thank you for signing on...we do get to see Brian's smiling face when you do, and as Betty said, it is nice to see these smiles of our angels every day. 

Dee:  thank you for sharing the poems...my heart just breaks each time I hear more news about these people who have been so badly damaged.  I was listening to the news this morning and finally had to leave it...just couldn't take any more of the terrible images...  I have heard, though that even more so than ever before, the entire world is responding to their needs as much as possible.  I pray this continues, as well as praying for strength for them to be able to help each other.  Please, God, be with them.  I thought your description of your walk this morning was so beautiful, Dee...your prayers are repeated in my own mind and heart. 

Betsy:  I am so glad that Betty's gift showed up to help drive those dark clouds away, and give you some sunchine to help you through this day.  I think that likely many, if not all of us, have regrets over past arguments with those beautiful children we no longer have with us physically...but we have all learned that that is the way of life with a child growing into adulthood...Mike and I used to get into some pretty loud "debates" as we called them...many times escalating into full-blown arguments that caused each of us pain.  Mike finally turned the corner of "young adult black-and-white only viewpoint" to the world of being grown up and responsible for his life...  and I am so thankful that we were there with him all the way...painful as it was sometimes...the rewards were worth the heartache.   When the ultimate heartache came with Mike's passing, it helped to know that he was always a part of our lives, even if there were a few times when it was only by a thread.  I am sure you have the same feelings...the love for your son and his love for you has outlived all the arguments, harsh words and conflicting ideas that were part of his growing up...that is what counts; that is what is important...that is what keeps us going...that, and bagels from an understanding friend...

As for the get-together, the BP get together sounds pretty good...it is already set up, the dates are set, etc.  I have not had much input, because I am very flexible.  My time is pretty much open, except for those times when I need to be home because of hubby's illness...but that can't be predicted, so I try not to allow a "non-life" aspect to surround us because of "what if's."  If something comes up, then the plans change; we can't wait around forever to make plans until we KNOW he is going to be having a good week...the facts are that we don't know, from week to week, so we just go with the flow as much as we can.  As we here all know, life is just to short to think too far ahead. 

I am thinking of all of you and your sweet angels, as usual, and sending wishes for a good day.  Today here is sunny, but still cold, though not as cold as it's been. 

love and peace,  carol  mikesmomrs

 

 

 

[zachysmom]

The best solar christmas tree light I found were philips solar led . they hold a charge great even with very little light during the day. the panel on ours was regularly covered with snow recently and still every night they were light.

[shorty16]

BI Friends

Are we keeping the June 30th 2010 weekend?

If so, I am going to cry.  I want to come, but will be gone that week - so sad.

Colleen