Loss of an Adult Child

[Mason’s Mom]

On 5/27/2022 at 7:34 AM, Changed said:

Carol,  that is a lot to be worrying about.   It is hard for us to keep going with normal , everyday stuff when our sad hearts and heads are so full of the loss of our children but when we have other important issues  confront us then it can become overwhelming .  
Trying to find the strength to be everything you want to be for your family will take its toll.    You will only be able to deal with each day as it comes and you all get some answers.   Will your husband have to wait long for his appointments? 
The unfairness of  life is there for us all to see - that is why we can find comfort in the fact that we have all faced the very worse and there is genuine understanding amongst us.    Why bad people crashing through life causing misery to others whilst good , kind , folk are cruelly taken from us is a mystery to me. 
Right now there is a lot of dilemmas for you to be thinking about and very little you personally can do to put them right.  That impotence is hard for us to accept .  Keeping positive and supportive to your family is the best you can do whilst the doctors get them fixed but if you are already flat and exhausted then that is a big ask - the truth is we worry, worry, worry. 
I hope that everyone improves and anything needing medical intervention is quickly resolved.  I know that you are on high alert and terrified.  Try to keep steady,  Roz x

Thanks again for helping me to see things in a better light. 

[Michael Rodriguez]

On 5/28/2022 at 5:43 PM, NiquesMom said:

Today Nique would have been 23. Forever 18  My husband was very emotional, telling me he misses her even though they did not get along well in life.

A dragonfly landed on my sons hand and then landed on my head, I think it was her.

Its 8pm and the only person to comment that it was niques birthday is my brother. I thanked him for bringing her up because no one ever does.

Do they remember her? Her laugh like a hyena? Her love of all things japanese? The gap in her teeth? Her curly, untameable hair? Her huge heart and how she would fight any injustice she saw? How she could drink an entire gallon of milk in a day? How she loved both horror movies and Disney movies? The color purple was her favorite? Tuna sandwiches with extra mayo?  I could keep going but it just hurts that barely anyone mentions her. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts.

she is so beautiful ......im so sorry virginia. 

[NiquesMom]

I cant do this anymore. I am so tired. Emotionally, mentally, physically. How do I keep going?

My husband is giving up. He wont do therapy, he wont complete a full session of dialysis. I try to encourage him, but all we end up doing is fighting. I try to get him to exercise and he says he is too tired. I don't want to fight with him but it makes me mad that he has gotten this far, and is stopping now. What if all I do is argue with him, trying to get him better, and he resents me and regrets being alive? Is it worth it?

I know quality over quantity, but I truly believe he still can have a good quality of life, but its going to be a lot of hard work. I dont think he wants to work anymore.

I miss my husband, my daughter, my parents, my life.

I hate everything and everyone right now.

people going on vacation, kids graduating, smiling, happy. That used to be me, so oblivious to how much my heart can hurt, forever and always.

I hate that this is how I feel abd I have no one I can say this to without judgement.

Thank you for listening.

[Michael Rodriguez]

you are welcome .....we are all listening. and as bad as we all are suffering and dwelling in what our past was before we lost our kids ......i can tell you are really going thru a very rough patch and i wish i could say something to encourage you, but i can not imagine the frustation, and the despair that you are carrying ...... can you take a deep breath and count to 10??? i dont know what else to suggest , but to take a deep breath

[Jacqueline3]

Dearest Virginia, I am with you.  i wish I had an answer to help.  I am here, sending prayers and hope.and love.   I wish I could help more.  You are not alone ever, we are here, lean on us.   Nique is with you.  She sent you a beautiful message full of love in your dragonfly

Love and hugs,

Jackie

[Dianas Mom]

Coming up on 6 weeks since I lost my Diana. I can't think of anything else.The emotional pain just gets worse with each passing day. I would give anything if only I could hold her in my arms and tell her how much I love her just one more time. I'll never again be able to. Friends and even close relatives don't mention her or say they miss her. It's as if she never lived to them. It hurts to the soul of my being. This is the only place where I know that others can understand. Each of you knows the depths of losing a child, suffering through each day.with the finality of it.

[Jacqueline3]

Dearest Diana's Mom,

It is nine months for me today since I lost my precious Garrett.  The pain and longing do get stronger and I still cry much of every day.    From listening to others and reading what others whom have lost a child have said, eventually it plateaus, not saying it goes away.but they find a way to walk with their pain, even though the pain and longing are still present..   It does not sound possible to me now but I have listened to others who have walked the same horrible path we are walking now.   I am still rising on many, many days but on others I can find a little even ground, but for me it does not last long until I fall into despair again.   i love and miss my son and best friend.  there is no remedy for that.    I am sorry no one is speaking of Diana, I know that feeling as well,  It hurts like hell, over and over again and it makes me livid with rage.   Even my family with whom I have always been close.  

I keep repeating to everyone, therapist, my Mum, husband, friends... "I don't know how to live this life without my son!"  Yet no one answers, they usually change the subject.

My Garrett was only 22 when he was taken from us... He could make me laugh like no other and he was the champion for those who were picked on or bullied.... He hated a bully mentality.   He is the only one of my children to get my green eyes yet he only got one.   He had heterochomia... two different colored eyes.... one green and one blue.   I miss him terrible, his smile, His laugh, his corny jokes... He is my best friend.we did everything together.  He is my youngest and only child still at home.

Please tell me a little about your Diana, I would like to know more about your girl.   Your are not alone.   My name is Jackie.  It is a hell of an existence we have been thrust into and I wish like hell I could go back in time and bring my boy home... I ache to just bring him home and hold him close.     

Please tell me about your girl..

Love and hugs,

Jackie

[Michael Rodriguez]

i had a dream with B last nite or this morning ......no idea what time it was , but it was so real it is unbelievable ......he had short hair ( like he some times would use) no beard, clean shaven ,skinnier just as tall ....he had a smile and we hug , and i can feel the kevlar that was put to replace his ribs , and i look at him and i tell him that we will fix it and he says no ,,,,but i can not remember what else he said ....it was so real .....and i woke up ....,..it is scary of how real it felt ,i swear i touched his rib cage. i spoke to him . 

so, going back to you jackie and diana´s mom....people will not comprehend what our lives have become. it is human nature ...it is a pain that will shred your heart to 1000 pieces , never to be whole again. if they do not live thru it , no body will understand it.....being honest , i have known  people that have lost their children and i never could just understand how hard it was just wished that it never happen to me , but here we are ; one of those statistics

[Jacqueline3]

Dearest Michael, I am so excited for you and B.   that is wonderful!! It makes me smile.

love and hugs,

jackie

[NiquesMom]

Cherish your dream Michael!

[Changed]

 

 

[Changed]

Michael, seeing and touching B again in your dream is so wonderful.  These moments together again can be fleeting but so welcome.   Roz x

[Changed]

Diana’s mom,   It is a true pain like no other that you are going through - we all share that with you.  
Family and friends can be disappointing and there are probably lots of reasons for their inability to talk about your daughter to you.   Some will not want to upset you (!) and some will not want to upset themselves.   I doubt any of them will have forgotten Diana - it has been such a short time how could they?     My brother never mentions my son , David, and that has been over five and a half years.   He did speak to me just after David’s death but never since - as if it’s a non event.   He probably is an emotional coward and it’s easier for him to ignore the reality - I don’t think that he has actually forgotten his nephew - I don’t think so anyway but who knows?
For now it will be enough for you just to get through each day and we want you to know that we understand that and will be here for you .   Strength to you, Roz
 

[Lisa M.]

Roz,  your wisdom is always so comforting.   I made it past the year mark.  I stayed as busy as I could.  My daughter will be here on Saturday.   I cannot tell you how excited I am. However,  this also brings a side of guilt.  I will work through it.  I took a nap the other day.   I know I was dreaming of Don, but can't  remember the dream itself.   When I woke up, I sat up on the couch and I felt a hand on my shoulder. It rested there for a few minutes.  I know this was Don.  It felt like him clear as day.  I still smile at the thought.   It is the first time anything like this has happened.   I feel like he is telling me it's ok to enjoy my time with his sister.   I know I am rambling but,  I want you all to know you are in my thoughts and prayers every day.   Hugs to all.

[Changed]

Hi Lisa. So pleased to ‘see’ you again.    Yes, try to stay in the moment with your daughter’s visit and be guilt free - just as Don would want you to be.   I try to do this when I see my girl knowing it would make David happy to see us together.

What a lovely thing for you to have felt the comfort of Don’s hand on your shoulder - beautiful. 
I did write to you on May 12 but you may not have been able to face reading .   A year gone is unimaginable.  Peace to you.
Roz x
 

[Jacqueline3]

It is good to hear from you Lisa and what a wonderful comfort  to have Don's hand on your shoulder.  

Roz you do have a way of giving comfort.  Thank you.  

Diana's Mom, I am thinking of you

Judith, I think of you often. would love to hear from you.

I think of all of you all the time.  Your comfort gets me through.... I am fretting and very maudlin yet anxious as summer rolls around.  I lost Garrett last summer and I am dying inside know a year is fast approaching.  How can time have passed so quickly.   It seems like this heinous nightmare just began.  I miss my precious son...

Love and hugs to all

Jackie

[Ramona66]

On 5/28/2022 at 7:43 PM, NiquesMom said:

Today Nique would have been 23. Forever 18  My husband was very emotional, telling me he misses her even though they did not get along well in life.

A dragonfly landed on my sons hand and then landed on my head, I think it was her.

Its 8pm and the only person to comment that it was niques birthday is my brother. I thanked him for bringing her up because no one ever does.

Do they remember her? Her laugh like a hyena? Her love of all things japanese? The gap in her teeth? Her curly, untameable hair? Her huge heart and how she would fight any injustice she saw? How she could drink an entire gallon of milk in a day? How she loved both horror movies and Disney movies? The color purple was her favorite? Tuna sandwiches with extra mayo?  I could keep going but it just hurts that barely anyone mentions her. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts.

What a beautiful girl. Happy Birthday Nique. 

[Danielle Masata]

Happy birthday Niques. What a beautiful time of year to be born, no matter where in the world. 
Jackie, I have concluded that the reason why others don’t seem to care about Garret or seem as sympathetic as they once did is because they have moved on and life got them busy. It’s not that they don’t care; it’s just that they don’t know what else can be said or done. They know what you want, but it’s impossible for that to happen. They care about you. And seeing you continuing to grieve saddens them. That’s just how grief can be. So come here and share and vent and cry. We understand. Grief comes in waves. 

[Jacqueline3]

Thank you Danielle, I know that in my head, but my heart sobs tears of pain all the time.  Knowing that you hear and understand my pain keeps me sane, if that makes sense.   Yesterday was horrible.  How are you holding up.  Have you been able to get through any of the paperwork and legalities so you can breath a little easier?

Thank you Danielle,

Morning to all,

 

[Michael Rodriguez]

good morning, danielle i agree with you 100% ......after almost 14 months , i try to keep my feelings very much to my own......ill hardly do discuss them  with my wife, ill do it most with nikki my daughter (B and nikki were very ,very close) never seen siblings so close to each other. 

life goes on , even for us , and although our missing child will always be center stage to us , life keeps on going and we can not expect people to grief as we do....they move on  

[Jacqueline3]

Morning all,

before I speak, please know I am not lashing out at anyone here or in my life.... Just finding a little of the footing I am in so desperate need for....

I have thought so much about this particular subject for nine achingly horrible months.... I do know that no one on this earth will mourn Garrett the way that I do, not even his father or sisters (and I am not in anyway diminishing their great pain or suffering or their love for Garrett).  Yet I do believe as a society we are very poor at honoring those who have gone before us and supporting those that are struggling to find their way.   To expect silence and moving on from a grieving person is wrong on all levels.  In my opinion it robs the lost person and those who love them.

My family knows what having children meant to me.   I always wanted a family and then I was hit with infertility issues and chronic medical issues with two of my children.  What having my three babies means in my life.  There is nothing, has never been anything or will be anything in my life that means more.   Losing my boy has changed my life and never will I be even remotely the same smiling person I was before. 

My family knows in their heart that Garrett is still very much in my life every day and that I need to talk about him and to him.  I cry and at times I scream  I know he will not be able to come home as I would so wish he could, even beg that he could..  Close friends should know that as well.    For others to expect us to clam up and not talk about our missing child or spouse is wrong whether it is the way of life, society or not.   Life does move on but I for one am not taking one damned step until I find a way to walk hand in hand with my precious son.  It was not his choice or mine for him to leave.    I do believe the heavens blessed me with this precious little boy.  Do they expect me to be quiet and suffer in silence and never talk about him again.   I cannot do that, I will not do that.  He is my son and I love him very much. 

My Mum and siblings, except for one, have gotten better at understanding because I talked to them and I did get angry.  they are not walking in my worn our steps and their hearts are not in shattered pieces even though I know they love Garrett too.  My husband's family have yet to reach out at all and they do not matter to me.   I do not need anyone in my life that cannot respect Garrett and my need to honor my son.  Perhaps one day I will reconnect with Joe's family but if not,, that is okay too.  My Garrett means more to me than any of them ever could. 

I need to do what feels right for me in this horrible life that I have to now call mine.  I have always lived by my own terms and raised my babies as I felt was right, taught them to honor and respect all people and religions and nationalities... How can I honor Garrett If I force myself to not talk about him or say his name or cry openly if the pain becomes unbearable.  Doing what I feel is right by my Garrett, to honor his love for me and mine for him and the life that was cut too damned short, is what matters to me.    To have any respect for the broken person that I now am, I have to do what feels right for me and for Garrett.  

While I have said over and over, I believe our children are close trying to help us, I believe my boy can see me as well, never do I want him to believe that taking steps in this world without him is easy.  It is not... Or that I do not mourn his loss and his presence every damned day or that I am afraid to mention his name because someone else will be uncomfortable.  I will stand up for him and respect him as I did in life. 

That is what this journey is for me... I can finally put it into words... for each of you, we must all find our own personal way but I for one am going to do this by my heart and my love for Garrett and his for me...

Again thank you to all of you for reaching out and supporting me...

My wish for you all is to find your path in this life to honor your child and yourself...

Love and hugs

Jackie   ( I am damned well sobbing again)

[NiquesMom]

Jackie, I do understand that I make some people uncomfortable when I talk about Nique. But I will not apologize for their discomfort. They can count themselves lucky to not feel this pain.

My husband and son and i talk about death freely in our home (though it took a while to get my husband to). It is not a taboo topic, and i hope that helps him when he is older. Today even we were talking about Nique in heaven, not in pain, how time is different there and what feels like so long here on earth is an instant in heaven.

My husband is back in ICU and we talked again of what happens if dad dies. I told him its not fair that we have to have these conversation when he is so young, but I also believe no good comes from not talking about the scary and sad stuff.

I am sorry people think you should not talk about garrett, I have found it easier to talk about Nique the further along in get. But usually I talk of her life, not her death. I reminisce about when she was small and luckily most people in my circle will let me, even if it makes them uncomfortable. I am just not capable of not talking about my family, and that will always include Nique.

Hang on, cry your tears (I swear you would think our body would run out tears at some point) and keep talking. I will listen.

[Jacqueline3]

Dearest Virginia,

I am sorry your husband is back in the ICU.  I am thinking of you all and wishing and praying for a positive turning point.  I know prolonged illness can wear a soul down, I am hoping he can find a fresh stream of strength in his long battle.

Thank you, my family as well, will always include Garrett,  I need to speak about him and talk to him.  I still have terrible moments when I remember in detail the last in the hospital and I can hardly bear remembering....  but I am finding that I am remembering more of his laugh and his goofy humor.   His love of milk and dill pickles and the list is growing. 

Perhaps if life had not been so cruel to our families we would not have to have frank discussions of death and suffering.  but life did not grant us that blessing.  For the first time since this nightmare began I found a fissure of truth has opened for me and I was able to express that to all of you today.   I will do  what I need for myself and for Garrett in my own way and on my terms.  I always told my children that they could not be happy if they were not true to themselves first.... I think that is especially true for us as our lives have been beaten, and broken and shattered.

Thank you for answering and for hearing the words of my heart.  I will continue to cry (and yes you would think we would run out of tears) and scream and talk to and about my Garrett.

Virginia I will return your beautiful words to you, hang on, cry your tears and keep talking... I will listen.

Love, to you and your family,

Jackie

 

[Michael Rodriguez]

virginia, christopher is back at ICU? im so sorry !!! i can not ,or dare to imagine what you are going thru !!!!!! what a roller coaster !!!!! how is kyle? poor kid ......again, out of words .....no idea what to say to make you feel better only that we are here for you , i am sure all of us are 

[NiquesMom]

Thank you michael. I am trying to remain optimistic but am very scared. They put him back on the vent today (3rd time). He told the Dr on wednesday they could put him on the vent for "a short time." We decided to give it 7 days. After 7 days they would want to trach him, which is long term which he doesn't want. They are starting 24 hour dialysis. Hoping that fluid removal along with antibiotics for pneumonia and bone infection will reduce swelling in brain and clear his mental status.

Kyle is ok. I am very open with him, and have explained whats happening. He says "I doubt want dad to die." I told him I wish I could tell him dad will come home but I cannot make that promise.

This is so unfair for kyle to lose his sister and now maybe his dad.

I am tired of grief. I am tired of being sad. I don't want this to be my life anymore.

I am eternally grateful for the time I had with nique and Christopher, but I want more.

[Jacqueline3]

I am sorry Virginia, I am thinking of you and standing with you...

 

[Changed]

Drear Virginia,   It seems that you have a team behind Christopher who are trying very hard for him.    

Thinking about you all and sending you my kindest hopes and thoughts.   Trust that we all know how you will be feeling and how totally unfair this is .   Love,  Roz

[Michael Rodriguez]

virginia and you deserve more .....and again im out of words (seems it is becoming a habit as of late) .     i ve been sitting here , in front of my computer trying to come up with some words to say that will make you feel better , i just can not find them , but believe me ....,we are all here for you . i would love to send kyle a toy or a game , whatever he likes ....if you let me .

 

[Changed]

I love that idea Michael- maybe Virginia could get a postal box number - don’t know what you call that service over there .  We all can feel so helpless can’t we?  Roz

 

[BradleyGabriel34]

Today has been 1 month since I lost my son.  Today has been really, really tough.  I watched videos of my son, visited his grave, and have sit in my chair all day feeling a heavy burden on my heart.  I think about my son, Taylor, every moment of the day.  My wife and I tried to go on a mini vacation to the ocean, but I felt guilty and the enitre time was spent crying and thinking about why.  I'm not sure if I will ever be able to get past the guilt of him not with us anymore and not sure how to get through each day without breaking down.  I miss my son and can't wait to see him again one day.  I just wanted to share as nothing else seems to help.  Thanks

[Mason’s Mom]

Virginia,  I feel like Michael and at a loss of words. I struggle with why some of us have so many battles. If I could reach out and give you some peace and rest  I would. 

Bradley, 1 month and I am sure you thought or were told it would be better,  so many people told me "time heals all wounds". Those people have never lost a child. We never heal,  we learn to cope. It is different for everyone and we all grieve in different ways. That is human nature.  Take it one  minute,  one hour,  one day at a time. I lost my son 4 /2 years ago, I think about him all the time.  I can talk about without tears most of the time. I  miss him so much and I want to keep his memory alive. Gives me motivation. We all understand. 

Peace and comfort, 

Carol

[Jacqueline3]

Dearest Bradley Gabriel,

I just passed nine months since I lost my Garrett.  I still cry every day and my heart breaks a new every moment.   I do not recognize this life nor do I know how to live it.  I too think about Garrett every second of every day.  it is something I tell him every day and that I love him forever and always.  I too am looking forward to the moment I can hug my precious son once again.

As agonizing and as unbearably painful as losing Garrett has been and as lost and broken as I have felt every single day for the last nine months I have had moments that while they are not happy, they are moments where I smile and remember wonderful things Garrett did or said.   I have said and I do believe our children are close by.  They are trying to help us, I believe that to the bottom of my soul. 

I do not have words to make it easier, but know that you are not alone.  We are all here for you and we share this unwanted journey with you as do our children.   I keep reminding myself, that I would not hurt so badly if I did not love my son so much and he did not love me.  That love is still what binds me to Garrett and Garrett to me...even now with this horrible separation.   It does help me to talk about Garrett, when you feel able and if you wish, please tell me about Taylor.   My Garrett had the most wonderful sense of humor and he could make me laugh....

Love and hugs of comfort,

Jackie

[Mason’s Mom]

Jackie, I think about you often and Garrett.  The birds 🐦 are there to comfort both of us.

[Mason’s Mom]

People have even described radios or stereos turning on to play a specific song that was meaningful to their departed loved one. Flickering lights is another common phenomenon. 

Some types of animals have even been said to be bearers of very specific kinds of messages, for instance, ladybugs are said to be a good omen, offering assurance, particularly when things seem to be at their darkest, that not all is lost. Butterflies and birds, especially cardinals and blue jays, have long been seen as messengers that a departed loved one is still watching over you.

I have experienced the above mentioned. I can't help but think these are My Mason letting me know he is still watching over me.

 

 

[Jacqueline3]

Dearest Carol, thank you... I think of you Mason and the birds quite often.  I do think Mason is looking over you and helping as best he can.   I do believe our children our close.   I don't usually talk about the birds and now raccoons to others.... I tend to get the crazy lady or I am not dealing in reality....   Even here I was slightly hesitant at first but as you can tell my trepidation has passed.   I do not think every bird is Garrett sending me a message but there are times that they have done strangest things. 

I have never seen a cardinal at work never... mostly robins and catbirds (my personal nemesis)   I was so upset the other day when  I went in, cried the whole way and had myself near hysterical... I parked and a beautiful deep red cardinal landed on the tree in front of me and squawked and then flew to the top of the building then proceeded to walk the length of the building beside me as I walked in, squawking the entire way..  When I went in, I watched him fly away.    That is my Garrett,  I can feel him, if that makes sense.   the other animal my boy loves is raccoons. We have never seen any at this house in the 22 years we have been here.  Suddenly two are showing up at the side of the house at night in the trees...Jolene has named them Eugene and Louise.   That too I believe is my boy.   It is subtle and not the the way I or any of us would like but our blessed babies are close..

Virginia, I am thinking of you and hoping Chris can find a fresh wind of energy and strength.  I think of him often and how hard this all has been on his body and emotions.  It can wear a soul down.  

Judith, I am hoping all is okay.  thinking of you.

Bradley Gabriel, I am thinking of you and I hope that today you can find some measure of comfort for even just a little while. 

Wishing everyone a measure of comfort today.

Love and hugs,

Jackie

.

[Mason’s Mom]

Jackie,  I love to hear about the birds and now the raccoons. My youngest daughter names little animals too. We have some chipmunks that come to the vase of the bird feeder and she names them. Last year we had Chester and Romona. Hope Jolene is healing.

[Jacqueline3]

I love the names.... Garrett always said he was getting a raccoon and he was gong to name it Eugene... So Jolene said one had to be Eugene.... She is getting better but it is a slow process.   How is Morgan and your youngest daughter, I am sorry I did not catch her name, but I know heartbreak can be traumatic especially in youth?

[Changed]

Dear Bradley Gabriel,    I am so sorry for you . Everyone here understands how you are feeling, believe me.  Your loss is so recent it is almost an impossibility for you to think straight,  it is enough to just to get through each day.  
Sadly, there are no shortcuts with grief - I wish there were something I could say to ease your heart but I don’t think that I can.   I lost my own son , David, five and a half years ago - grief is always with me but not as you are experiencing right now.  
 All we can offer here is the comfort of friendship and understanding as we have all walked the same path as you and to be there for you .
Strength to you, Roz 

[Michael Rodriguez]

good morning , bradley gabriel 34 i guess is your first time here? i am michael and i lost brian(B) almost 14 months ago. all of our lives have changed and i grieve and mourn my son every second of each day. it will eventually be a bit easier to cope with.....as i said "cope" .....our lives. as we knew them, are long gone. but we are left with no choice but to keep on going. i have no words or lessons learnt that i wish could give you....do remember that you can vent and cry as much as you want with us......will always listen

[Changed]

Carol and Jackie,   I’d just finished reading your conversation yesterday about your birds when my husband got back from an air show .  He was telling me that he’d taken a double decker bus to the show , it slowly follows the costal road and he was saying that a huge bird of prey did a most unusual thing - it flew for an age just ahead of the bus right in front of my husband’s face as he was sat upstairs at the front .  David used to go to airshows with him and I couldn’t help but think of this connection.  It was a very odd moment when he told me what he’d seen as I still had your posts open in front of me.

I hope your girls are feeling better and Carol’s  husband too.   Roz

 

[Jacqueline3]

Dearest Roz, I think David was with your husband at the airshow.... I have had three different times.(yes, I keep count...  i  so miss my Garrett and they have always been when I am just inconsolable)  That  birds and once a flock flew along side the car as I was driving....  I cannot say it enough.... our children are close, I can feel it in my soul.   We just have to look differently to hear them speaking.  

thinking of you all,

love and hugs,

Jackie

[NiquesMom]

My husband died last night. I feel so broken all over again.

[Ramona66]

OH Virginia...I am so sorry!!!  Don't have the words. You are in my prayers.

[Jacqueline3]

Oh, dearest Virginia... I am so sorry, My deepest and sincerest condolences.  my daughter wanted me to send her deepest sympathies.  I am here for you, always.    How are you holding up?  Kyle?

love,

Jackie

[Changed]

Dear, dear Virginia,  my most sincere condolences to you , Kyle and all of Christopher’s family.

Such sad news, you must be shell shocked .

We will all be thinking of you .   Love,  Roz x

[Michael Rodriguez]

im so sorry virginia .....all the struggle , all the suffering ....,.im really sorry ....i have gotten to know you guys over the last year and you guys have been my rock and honestly care for you as family......again, no words ....i know to stay away from the stupid remarks or question.....just take care and a huge big hug to kyle , poor kid  

[Mason’s Mom]

Virginia,  I am so sorry. I wish I could offer you a shoulder to cry on. We are here to listen, don't bottle up your emotions.  Let us hear and help with the burden. Give Kyle a big hug for me.

Carol

[Mason’s Mom]

Jackie and Roz, I have another bird story.  This morning Morgan went out to care for her dogs and as she stepped off our front steps she called out to Maddie and I that there was a little bird laying on the ground.  We rushed out and it was still breathing but seemed almost lifeless. Maddie went in to get some gloves to pick it up. As soon as she bent down to pick it up. It flew off. We were shocked. Just seemed like a message,  maybe I am trying to hard but I want to believe it was a message to let go of some of the pain. 

Place and comfort, 

Carol

[Lisa M.]

Virginia I am so sorry!  You are in my thoughts and prayers.   Big hugs to you and Kyle.

[Jacqueline3]

Carol, It sounds very much like a message from Mason and I am sure it made you feel good for a few moments.  I have been rather inundated with raccoons and Garrett loved his raccoons. In all the years we have lived here, I have never seen raccoons until now.... I miss my boy so very much,and I am so very broken and lost without my best friend.

Virginia, you have been on my mind all day.  I am with you... love and hugs to you and Kyle....

There are many that have spoken for a short time and now are quiet, I know that your pain is as great as mine... I am thinking of you all and sending love and hugs.

Jackie