Members ericasmom Posted May 8, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 8, 2014 Shannon, I put off taking any meds too, but for various reasons, one of which was menopause and being able to maintain, but as I approached the 10th year anniversary and after my breast cancer and treatment, I found that I was willing to try it, low dose. My doc and therapist both said the same thing...wouldnt't it be nice if you were enjoying your life more? YES! So I tried and I have been on for 10 months. I am not without anxiety, but physicall able to deal with more ability with putting off my worry some. Facing it with more sense of reality rather than always looking for the worst. The doc will monitor you and if it isn't for you, chances are you and the doc will know early on, within a few weeks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted May 9, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 9, 2014 Medicine is meant to 'treat'....it can 'right' a 'wrong'...it can heal...soothe...calm...restore...create balance.. all that are on this site know how the foundation we stood on was completely torn from under us...then...the panic attacks...the sleepless nights...paralyzed thinking...all came to our minds and bodies..I truly felt like I was torn apart... my son, the Dr....was very tuned in on me....he told me not to be stoic..medication at certain 'bridges' in your life can be just that....a 'bridge' over the deep waters.... I did not take any medications...but....I was very, very skitsky last year...planning John David's scattering of the ashes memorial...all that planning...and the grief was suffocating...exhausting.... Shannon....you have had so much on your plate...so many issues from so many different directions...so many of your loved ones coming at a different angle...a different shape...if you need that 'help'...please use it...take it...and I hope it will come from someone who really loves you... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mikesmomrs Posted May 9, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 9, 2014 Our latest "maybe" from Kim's doctors is that she may go home Friday or Saturday afternoon...spoken with the well-known-by-now caveat "depending on how things go." But we stand by in hopeful anticipation. Thank you all so very, very much for your support and caring and prayers...I would like to share what happened at the hospital earlier on Thursday evening. . Sometimes you're gifted with a "visit" out of nowhere and suddenly you're infused with renewed strength when you just didn't think there was a lot left there to work with...Daughter Kim's been in the hospital now for 18 days and while we are hopefully very close to a going home day, still, strength has been tested mightily with all of the ups and downs over those days and nights... time spent feeling relatively helpless and wishing you could "make it all better" like you did when she was a little girl...With a kiss and a bandaid. On my way to the cafeteria tonight to grab some supper, the normal sameness of the "muzak" played quietly in the background, almost unheard by those of us who've been here for a while. A familiar strain of notes broke through my train of thought...an instrumental of Stevie Wonder's " I Just called to Say I Love You" drifted by my ears and grabbed my heart. What seems like yesterday and a century ago at the same time, when that song first came out, Kim's dad called me at work and said "listen to this" and turned up the radio for me to hear it. When it was over he said "a love song from me to you." My heart felt comfort at the memory and the smile that came to my heart lightened my footsteps. As I neared the cafeteria, the last notes played and then began another heart grabber: "Music Box Dancer," our son Mike's very favorite song when he was 2-3 years old...thanks honey, thanks Mike, and most of all, thank you God for reminding me I am never alone. ♡♡♡ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mikesmomrs Posted May 9, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 9, 2014 SHANNON...thinking of you...praying. ..holding you close in my heart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted May 9, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 9, 2014 Carol....I try to stay 'up' in the mornings...I try not to let my grief work it's way into my thoughts...I try to keep the broken pieces of my heart scotched taped together so I can face the day with a grateful spirit...and put one foot in front of the other...and not let the first choice 'to cocoon' be the choice I make in how to shape my day ahead.... when I read your story.....the songs ....sent to you at just the right time...walking alone down that hospital hall....when you could hear them.......that could certainly be a 'message' that you would understand...and they had that 'special' Only You From Me....well...tears came....but they were happy tears...for they conveyed what they meant for you...that you were never alone... the old saying...'patients don't have patience' is so true....a short hospital stay can seem like weeks....and there is something healing about being 'home'....I could never get any rest/sleep in a hospital....so I do hope she gets stabilized and can go 'home'....and then get some of that healing sleep. The girls will be out of school in a couple of weeks....right? They can come visit.....and that will make Mama even better. With her recovery...how long will she have to stay to be near her medical team ? She will be with you...and that, too, is the best medicine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Steve s mom Posted May 9, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 9, 2014 To everyone for Mothers Day The BouquetBy : Christine Ross I saw her in the distance as she was kneeling down to praytightly clutching a bunch of flowers she has bought for Mothers dayThe sun was just arising casting shadows on the groundas she cried there at the headstone, there was no one else aroundshe arranged the flowers in a vase,blew a kiss from her trembling handthen she turned her eyes to heaven saying, "please help me understand"I watched the teardrops trickle down and fall on her lone bouquetI knew that she was hurting ,so I gently wiped her tears awayShe shuddered when she felt my touch because she thought she was aloneSo I wrapped my arms around her ,right there at that granite stoneI heard her sigh and saw a smile appear on her tear stained faceshe was glad that I had joined her at this final resting placeshe stared fixated on the stone,the proof her child no more remains.she whispered what was engravedas she sadly read....my name by Christine Ross in memory of Lucas Ross 1979-2001 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Angel Boy of Mine Posted May 9, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 9, 2014 Jasmine went with me yesterday and we installed these two lions at our family plot. Jared was all about anything rasta, so we feel he would be pleased at this addition. Still very wobbly and weak, more bloodwork ordered. Thinking of all of you this weekend, my angel family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted May 9, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 9, 2014 Becky...thanks for sharing....I must say....it is very impressive...and for us...that has been on the grief journey with you....we see so much of that 'Mama Love' for her SONshine boy... I think it was Shannon that posted that someone told her that all we do for love in the earth home...is felt in heaven...for sure it is...and your boy is smiling... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted May 9, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 9, 2014 I think this is simply wonderful...and one of my favorite authors....gives one food for thought....things to ponder on... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members hopeful40 Posted May 9, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 9, 2014 HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to ALL MOTHERS on the Site! Mom. May you continue to keep Ayanna near and close in your loving arms. May you both...Rest in Peace. I (and Yana), love you very much. Happy Mother's Day Mom! Your daughter, Barbara (your "Bobbi")...and Ayanna ("Yana in SPIRIT"). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members hopeful40 Posted May 9, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 9, 2014 "Keeping Ayanna's Memory ALIVE!" (Pre-Mother's Day Sharing) Ayanna. If it weren't for your "Nana"...there would be NO me...no YOU. I'll always LOVE you my dearest. So thankful to have had you in my life...on EARTH...and now in SPIRIT. BLESSINGS There are times LordI seem to strayNot giving thanksOffering little as I pray. I pause for a momentFind a quiet placeClose the world outRemoving myself from the race. A relaxing chairIs what I have foundI open up to YouWhile there's no one around. I don't start my prayersWith Your giving of thingsI simply thank YouFor ALL the BLESSINGS You bring. I then ask for forgivenessOf which I needThere are times I falterAnd not follow Your every lead. And of those timesI appear to be weakI ask Your guidanceThat You come to me and speak. I sit and listenAs close as close can beFor I know any messageIs meaningful coming from Thee. Yes, Lord, the biggest BLESSINGI've ever receivedWas the one You gave MOTHER...The very day I was CONCEIVED. -Barbara Guyhto Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted May 9, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 9, 2014 Shannon----thinking of you, and sending prayers. I hope that the medswill help you in this very painful time. Peace to you. Dee-----Your flowers are coming along very nicely. Today, there wasa snake, lying in the sun, on top of one of our boxwood shrubs near the front porch.He has been hanging around, and I suspect that he is after the mole population in the front yard. Amazing how nature keeps things in balance.Our garden is nearly planted....all the root veggies.....beets, radishes, onions, andpotatoes. We'll wait until the end of May to put in the tender plants. Somethinghit our mailbox last night......found our mail all over the road, but it seemed nonethe worse for wear...only a few pieces. We're guessing that one of the farm implements that goesup & down the road must have clipped it....knocking the lid open. Denny & Ibent it back in shape as best we could with a hammer. This is a common sitein our country area...... (bent mailboxes) ...so no big deal. Little Erica must have marveled at allthe kids outside playing. WISHING PEACE AND TRANQUILITY TO ALL INDIGOS. Davey&Lisasmom, Sherry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Angel Boy of Mine Posted May 10, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 10, 2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lovU2themoon Posted May 10, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 10, 2014 9 months today since i last saw my sweet Lane. I miss him so much. Been a very stressful hard week. I did go to the rally for changing the highway, putting up traffic lights and reducing the speed. It was very emotional, everyone had pins with Lane's picture, and his face was on the posters. I did the ugly cry at one point. But, it was on the front page of the newspaper, although they did not get as good as a response at they had hoped. They will continue to press for change before more lives are lost. A 64 yr old women died in a car accident along the same stretch as Lane 3 weeks ago. An experienced driver who has lived in this community for 14 yrs. So sad that nothing has been done to slow the traffic down i am grateful for the end of the day. Thinking of you all.Wanda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mikesmum Posted May 10, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 10, 2014 Its Saturday night here in Australia. Its the night before Mothers Day. Its been 7yrs since my children were all together for Mothers Day. Its been 9yrs since my last Mothers Day with my own mum. Tonight I find myself wrapped in a fog. Tearful and tired. My day tomorrow starts by watching Caleb Brian play football for the local team. Brunch after with my daughter and her family. My youngest son will be there too. I know I have much to be thankful for and while we are together the focus will be living in the moment. The afternoon is when I will find my solitude. To scan the skies looking for signs. Sit by the fire and watch the flames dance. To my familiar friends here, I will think of you tomorrow, as I do each year. To the newbies, and there are many, I hope that you are able to find something, a memory, a lyric, a picture or a shared story to make your Mothers Day easier..... I am posting a picture taken here yesterday. Up early I couldn't resist the sunrise over the range. The other was posted on FB by another Indigo mum. Debbie Kennedy Barton lost her daughter Pippa and Grandson Kieran on the same day... They are quotes from Benjamin Allen, a man who lost his wife and two daughters. He is the author of Out of the Ashes. He describes how I feel many days.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Angel Boy of Mine Posted May 10, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 10, 2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted May 10, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 10, 2014 Trudi, the joy of seeing your post today...well it fills me to just know you are out there and spending time with the kids. I know your heart aches for the holiday that finds us and causes us an extra pinch of ache, but so glad that while you are with those you love most, you will fully be entrenched in the love that surrounds you. I miss you and will always love you like a sister. Happy Mum Day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted May 10, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 10, 2014 Becky, Thanks for sharing the photo and the music. You are looking good and I hope that means you are feeling better. I sure hope that the further tests can pinpoint a way to feeling all the way better. Wanda, hooray for you and for the paper to print this important story on the front page. A shame that it is not taken more seriously at this time, but you are the gateway to change. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Steve s mom Posted May 10, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 10, 2014 Thank you for sharing the 2 beautiful videos with usI wish I could do something like that for Steve someday.Your boy must be so proud. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted May 10, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 10, 2014 Am busy..... Trudy...thanks for sharing your heart....Becky...our warrior Mom....thanks for sharing your heart and music..Wanda....thanks for sharing your 'fight'....and your heart...Dee...thanks for 'sharing your words and heart and caring' for all of us...more later....'bitter - sweet'....day for many of us... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted May 10, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 10, 2014 Well, I just heard the stupidest remark EVER... My aunt (Millie) and uncle came back from Arizona to attend my uncle's funeral....The uncle who died was the grandfather to the other Jesse who was my cousin's (Jodi) son that died two years ago in April on a motorcyle accident... The aunt (Millie) who came from Arizona was criticizing how my cousin, Jodi, was dressed at the funeral and going on why "she didn't dress up more"....well "Hello".... .....let's see, the poor woman's son dies two years ago and now her dad died and tomorrow is Mother's Day...it was amazing my cousin Jodi was even on her feet.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jeff's Mom Posted May 11, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 11, 2014 Oh my, Laurie. Poor Jodi...I had my nails done today by a woman who lost her Dad on Wednesday! The woman she worked for was giving her a hard time that she was not focusing!!!!! Well, I have to say that as I knew he had died... I walked in carrying a lovely bouquet of flowers. Poor dear girl is recently separated and needs the money. Oh, how my heart ached for her. Will people ever get the idea of how traumatizing it is when we lose a loved one? I took out my box of " Treasures" yesterday... as I was feeling the usual blue sadness enveloping me as it is Mother's Day weekend. I took out several cards that Jeff made when he was so small and in elementary school. Well, I have to say that before long I was enveloped in memories from the past. The tears slowly fell, but I smiled along with them. It was all good stuff. And so I decided to put many of them up on a table to give me comfort and support. Today I added a bouquet of flowers of Stargazer Lilies. The room has permeated with the aroma. Just wonderful. I know how hard it is for all of us to acknowledge this day without a very important person in our life. We hope to make it into the site tomorrow and take flowers. This somehow will bring us comfort. Thinking of all of you as tomorrow approaches. Holding you close in friendship. Kate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted May 11, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 11, 2014 Thanks Kate, hope you can get to the site...have read through some of the posts... Wanda...Lane would be so proud of you for working on making a difference...wishing you courage and strength as you work on this.... Sending prayers to all as we move through this Mother's Day.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members shorty16 Posted May 11, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 11, 2014 Happy Mother's Day to all of the Indigo MomsWe are still their Moms, no matter where they reside.Colleen, Brian's Mom forever, and ever, and ever Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted May 11, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 11, 2014 Because we ever became Moms and Dads, we are blessed beyond measure. Thank you God and Erica for being in my life every day, Every day. Blessings to you all as you embark on the day, may it fill you somehow to know that your Child is shouting from the Heavens: Happy Mother's Day Dearest Woman in the World. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted May 11, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 11, 2014 Laurie, I had a sick kind of humorous thought in reference to the stupidest thing ever said, which by the way should go into the still in the prewriting stage of our Book called: Oh No, you didn't just say that!So my thought is along with the book we can add a dress code catalog, what to wear when you attend a funeral. YIKES! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Angel Boy of Mine Posted May 11, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 11, 2014 Missing you so much today, Jared Daniel West ~ Forever in our hearts. There are no words to describe the pain, just as there will be no words to describe my joy when I see you again! Love you babyboy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted May 11, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 11, 2014 I have had a house full of family and friends....a blessing for sure....I woke up this morning thinking I would be focused on John David....but....portals have opened up and I have had a parade of memories tracking in my thoughts of my Mama....those memories have been there all along...it took a Mothers Day to bring them into vision again... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SamDsmom Posted May 11, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 11, 2014 Happy Mother's day to everyone. Praying for peace for all. Debbie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jeff's Mom Posted May 11, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 11, 2014 Happy Mother's Day..to all Indigo Mom's. I hope that your day was filled with happy memories of your child and you were surrounded by family and friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted May 12, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 12, 2014 Hi All, Busy day and I thought of you all often sending prayers and love.The Kids came by this morning and my husband made breakfast. We played and opened some sweet gifts. Then the Kids left and we hurried out to pick up husbands' Momma and his Uncle and we drove out to one of his Sisters homes for the afternoon. We all brought an appetizer and a desert. I made peanut butter chocolate streusel cake and husband made pigs in the blanket. It was a nice nice day and then driving home a big storm hit, still some lightening now, much needed rain but that will do. I took a ;personal day for tomorrow and am babysitting all day for my Little Love. Yipppppeeee! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jeff's Mom Posted May 12, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 12, 2014 I am still shaking. We had brunch with another couple today. After we had finished and were enjoying a last cup of coffee we encountered a very disturbing situation. An elderly woman that had come in with her family suffered a full fledged stroke. I was sitting facing her and saw it happen. She suddenly stiffened and then fell forward. Her daughter jumped up and called to the staff to call 911. As it happened my friend was a nurse and so we jumped up to help. We could not find a pulse. We picked her up and placed her on the floor. The entire place fell silent. We worked to help her as we waited for the paramedics. We placed her on her side and eventually she came too. She was sick as a dog and totally unaware of what had happened. They transported her to the city for a CT scan. So everyone...take CPR training! A MUST! You never know when you may need it. We then came home and changed and walked into the site. I placed a small bouquet of flowers on the bench. We sat and reflected on the importance of appreciating the value of each and every day we are given. And believe me...each day is a gift. Life is so fragile. Scared the hell out of me. Apart from that it was a good day. We came home and sat on the patio with the dog enjoying the late afternoon sun. Each day is a blessing. Yet this evening...I am wondering if we did the right thing. Not a bad way to go. We all have to die. She would have gone without any awareness of pain and suddenly. I have seen so much suffering and did we step in and add to this woman's misery by interfering? Will she wind up in a nursing home or hospital at the mercy of staff and medical procedures? We did what seemed appropriate at the time. To help her. After seeing so much pain...I'm not too sure about our actions. I pray it was the right move. For her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted May 12, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 12, 2014 Oh Kate....I can see why you are still 'shaking'.....and yes....as you say....every day is a gift...for sure.... Dee....am so glad you had that sweet kind of day.....and....you will be taking care of Babydoll tomorrow...and she will be taking care of you, too.... have much to relate....but it is late....so tomorrow....it always seems as if we can reach an age where there is nothing new to learn.... and then....a window slowly opens on a new vista of life....a new slant....if I had not been standing in the grief corner....I would not have known about this other level.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted May 12, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 12, 2014 Kate, you did what instinct told you to do, as did your friend. I think that others went home today from that experience and learned some valuable lessons about the importance of living fully. The woman may need some tests and some hospital time, but she came to, which means she was not quite ready yet. Could be she will also find some importance and joy in the next few days/weeks. You did good. Thanks Susan, looking forward to hearing about the discoveries that this day brought. Sherry, how was your day?Wanda?Colleen?Trudi?Bonnie?Shannon?Gretchen?Lori?Carol?Betsy?Betty?Maryanne?Jenn?Ted?Wade?All others new to this place and those of us here a long while, I am hoping that a tiny bit of sunlight found its way into your heart today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lovU2themoon Posted May 12, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 12, 2014 Kate, I agree with Dee, if nothing else, others will learn from what you did, even jumping in to help is huge. Many don't. it may not be her time. But yes agreed, not a bad way to go.... I tried not to anticipate how i would feel, but i have to admit, the day was long my chest is heavyi am ready for bed.i tried to be strong for Lindsay, but she knows, and told me not to be. Thinking of you all. Wanda "Hope you find comfort in knowing others are remembering, too" From my Lindsay for mothers day. Last years mother day card from Lane, framed and on my wall. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted May 12, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 12, 2014 Wanda, when I opened this site this morning I noticed the small thumbnail of you and Lane and just had to smile as in my heart I said there is "Lane and his mom"...I love his hat...I have seen the picture before...just looked different as a thumbnail... your daughter Lindsay shows great maturity in that she is able to give you that gift of letting you feel as you need to... Becky, I loved the poem yesterday...I have always found great meaning in your peotry... Dee, thank you for sharing Erica yesterday...she is such a cutie and brings such joy. Thanks for your comment on foolish things said to the bereaved...I liked the tongue-in-cheek comment...agreed. Kate, yes that would have shook someone up...I know what you mean....but perhaps there was a lesson for those present, to help those around us we many encounter...I have seen people walk away from others in their moment of need (called the bystander effect)...you and your friend showed compassion and I am thankful there are people in the world like you and your friend...who care to make a difference... I echo Dee's callout...sending everyone warm thoughts, love and prayers... Shannon, thinking of you...know this time is extra hard for you... Good to hear from Debbie and MaryAnn... *************************************************Still at my mom's house...in one week's time so much has happened...it leaves one a bit flattened...the uncles funeral went well...most of the family used it as a reunion...so more like a "celebration of life" which was very good for everyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mikesmomrs Posted May 12, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 12, 2014 Hello all....apologizing for not coming on yesterday to wish everyone the best day they could have, and I did pray that all of you would find some wonderful memories to give you strength for the day, especially for those here who are having their first Mother's day without their beloved child. The reason I didn't come on is that Kim came home on Saturday late afternoon, and it's been kind of hectic since. We did manage to squeeze in some Chinese food for dinner, as there was just no time for cooking and all the other restaurants are so very busy. She is doing "okay," in that they have stabilized her for now, but they are watching the old wound as it is not closed, healing from the inside, and the stitches on the outside have broken open, but they don't want to stitch it again, hence the "watching." It's been a hectic three weeks, filled with roller coaster emotions from hope to worry, to "sure, she'll be okay," back to worry, and over and over again. But, she IS home, and can't travel yet, so will be here for a bit. Thoughts were random yesterday, and a quick trip to the cemetery brought it all home again...they are not on this earth any longer, the one who sat beside me there for 6 years of anniversaries, birthdays, and just days we needed or wanted to be there, is not here on earth any longer...but I have to trust they are together, waiting, and we will be united again. I will tell you all about a dream hubby had a short while after Mike died, but right now I have to run to the store for meds. When Kim came home, she came with prescriptions, of course, but she has not got any insurance right now. Her scrips were over $700!!! One of them, for five pills, was almost $260. I just can't believe it. Anyway, got to go...thoughts are with you all...Kate, that is a true wonderment for you...but we have to just trust that we did what we were supposed to do at the time, and maybe that's why you both were in that particular restaurant at that particular time, or she was... Love to you, dear, and I hold you and Ross close. Laurie...so glad that it did have a flair of "celebration of life" to the funeral...that is likely what they want us to do, anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted May 12, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 12, 2014 I have been putting the 'B' in busy here lately.... Carol...am glad that your girl is home....I do believe that 'home healing' makes the recovery speed up....and with you 'doting and caring' for her....will just be the frosting on the cake....yikes....$$$$$....for her prescriptions....did the hospital/Dr. know she did not have insurance ?In Texas....there are several organizations that work with the hospitals....Bitsy..my tenant was to have chemo pills...$16,000 a month....and an organization picked up the WHOLE tab.... Laurie....you have had a lot on your plate...no wonder you feel 'flat'.....am happy to hear the Memorial service was also a time for the family to re-connect...we are just mortals...and should enjoy the time we can spend with our family...(even the ones that can say things..'that could have gone all day without saying'....(we have those kind of people in our family, too...sigh)....John David's Memorial turned out to be quite a 'celebration of his life'....so many old friends getting together...and telling 'his stories'....it ended up being like a combined Class - Family Reunion......and I actually had these 'strange' feelings or waves of warmth come over me that day...it is hard to describe...like waves of something warm and healing...it still comforts me to this day remembering.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guests Guest Trista's_Mom Posted May 12, 2014 Guests Report Share Posted May 12, 2014 Sitting outside having my afternoon cup of coffee and enjoying the sun and the warm breeze. I thought of everyone here yesterday and sent wishes for as much peace as possible. It was a roller coaster day for me. I enjoyed my boys but my heart ached for my Girl. Aiden gave me a pretty card all decorated with Spider-man stickers and my Zak, who informed me he was broke, serenaded me with his own rendition of The Ink Spots... I Don't Want To Set The World On Fire. I told him that was better that anything he could have bought. I talked to Trista and asked her to help me through the day and I heard her voice in my mind. She told me to focus on the boys and know that she was with me. I heard her say... Look for me. I'll be with you. I did that. In the afternoon I took some flowers out to her site, some petunias for her planter and a hanging basket of portulaca. In the evening Aiden and I worked in the garden. It was sunny and warm all day but then a thunderstorm came in fast. I got Aiden indoors but the sun came out and the rain stopped as quickly as it started. I decided to go out and get more planting done. As soon as Aiden and I stepped out onto the deck it started raining on us. The sun was still shining and we looked up to see a rainbow. I think that was my gift from my Girl. The Mother of my first husband, who passed away told me today that she saw one around the same time while she was fishing and felt it was Terry and Trista. We live over an hour apart. Carol, I'm glad Kim is home but continue to send prayers for a quick recovery. Kate, I'm glad you able to make it to the site. Laurie, Thank you for thinking of me. I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers too. I'm sure you are getting tired and will need some down time after all of this. Wanda, This was our first Mother's Day without Lane and Trista. You and Lane were in my thoughts. Dee, It sounds like you had a nice day and I'm sure you're enjoying your day with little Erica today. Thanks for sharing her with us. She's such a cutie. Susan, So glad you found yourself surrounded by family and friends. It sounds like a day full of blessings. I'm going to try to catch up on more reading. Thinking of all today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MissKylie Posted May 12, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 12, 2014 Hi Everyone, cannot access this site from home. Not sure why. must be something with website's security setting. Last week had been a fair week. I took a 1 week off from work, since May 5th is my son's 9th month day and May 6th is my Angel Kylie's 6th birthday. I took the time to curl myself to bed and cry. We spent the afternoon in Kylie's site on her birthday. We had cake, pansit (birthday noodles) and drinks for her birthday. Lit 6 candles and offered food and flowers. We also had a group picture lying down on Kylie's site.. just so we can feel that we're close to her. Then something strange happened to me on Mother's day. I've been looking for the book of James Van Praagh entitled "Growing Up in Heaven" I asked my husband to look for it in bookstores and we're not able to find one. Growing up in heaven book discusses the Eternal Connection between Parent and Child. And our soul contracts Then, I saw my Kindle in one of our drawers, totally black out so I charged it. Then I saw that I have pending audio book for download "Growing Up in Heaven" Just in time when I need it most! After an hour of listening, one of the character's name is Kylie!!! It feels like Kylie direct me to find the audio book and hear it on Mother's Day... She's always such a sweet girl!!!! Everybody here are in high spirits, as I see them in Facebook. Posing pictures with their sons and daughters on Mother's day. Aside from a rose from my husband, and a book from Kylie .... I am happy for this Mother's day...But also part of me felt a relief that I was able to get through it.... Peace and Love to all,Kylie's Mommy---Mommy Cherry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SamDsmom Posted May 12, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 12, 2014 Cherry,I'm so sorry I missed Kylies birthday. I know how hard that must have been for you. I'm so glad you had the book waiting for you yesterday. Sometimes those little things seem sent to us just when we need them. Carol, Glad to hear Kim is home doing well.I hope everyone found some peace and rest yesterday. I need to catch up on my reading. Just needed to feel connected again. Debbir Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SamDsmom Posted May 12, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 12, 2014 I'm sorry I haven't been here to support everyone. I am so tired. I just feel like giving up. I don't know what else to say. I am so not suicidal, I just don't care about much of anything. That is so self centered but that's just where I'm at. You know yesterday was probably one of the hardest yet. Since we moved the girls always sent cards and called. The latest news about the little ones or what ever was going on with them, which was always good. But my Sam, he always wanted to know what was going on with his mom. Just a silly day, probably created by a card company. Sam was the light in my life. I don't know. I took him so for granted. His life. Everywhere we go, trains. I find my self morbidly focused on the rails, watching, creating the scene in my mind. I try to stay occupied, but focusing is out of the question. I feel like I'm going crazy again. I am sitting by the pier in one of my favorite places in the world. Looking over Tacoma bay and all I can do is wish the water would just suck me up. I know Sam would be so upset. I want to feel a connection but it just won't come. I'm sorry Sam.Debbie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted May 12, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 12, 2014 Debbie totally understand that place you are in. Sending warm HUGS... Shannon, thanks for sharing the rainbow...the Mother Day gifts from your boys were precious... Cherry, belated Heavenly Birthday wishes for your sweet little girl... Carol, sending out prayers for healing for Kim... My mom and I went to Holy Hill today...we lit a candle in the prayer room known as Mary's Room, prayers were said for you all... Just staying here for some space...apart...many things have happened over the last few days...but mostly just missing my Jesse... Here is picture of the Mary Room, the candles that get lit are on both sides of the room... Here is the main sanctuary Church from above Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted May 13, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 13, 2014 Debbie, I was thinking of you yesterday and wondering how you were and where you might be. I realized that I did not add your name and Cherry's name in my how are you list...I tend to do that more these days, forget names or things I was going to say...sorry. I keep thinking though, about the way the police handled, sorry, mishandled your Son's case and just wish that it did not have to be so damn hard to find out the truth. I wish you some peace. Cherry, your Kylie had a birthday and we did not know, sorry. Unless I see the dates under the photos, I am no good at remembering. HAPPY HEAVENLY BIRTHDAY SWEET CHILD KYLIE. May it be such that our Angels swooped in and around you in great joy, showing you the prettiest day ever! I know that your Momma and Family felt your presence, the book was a wonderful sign from you. Sweet Angel Girl, we send our LOVE. Shannon, the rainbow is lovely and a wonderful and fitting sign for you and Aidan and for Terry's Mom to see. I love when our Angels are able to stretch their reach to us here, looking for them in all things lovely. I love that Zak gave you his rendition of a great song, what a wonderful gift for sure. You have good boys Shannon, they will always carry Trista with them. Carol, prayers continue for Kim to find strength and renewal each day, to find healing and the ability to return to her life soon. She must miss her Girls so much but I am so glad that she is with you. Col and Laurie, be careful in tonight's weather, lots of warnings from up near you to us... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted May 13, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 13, 2014 Hey Cherry and Debbie....if I forget...or do not post something...it does not mean I don't care...it is just a matter of 'not knowing'....ignorance...both of you are very important to our site...for we do care for each other...as you have cared for me and John David... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jeff's Mom Posted May 13, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 13, 2014 Thinking of everyone today and hoping your day is filled with peace. I too am thinking of all the parents that have visited this site and found comfort and friendship. Laurie, thank you for posting pics of the church. Very beautiful! I have always had a great devotion to Mary. I love the song Let It Be by the Beatles. Cherry, sorry I missed Kylie's birthday. How are you? Shannon, the rainbow is beautiful. How is your garden coming along? We are still waiting for things to properly warm up before we can actually plant. This has been a very unusual and long bad spell of weather. Apparently the worst in over 120 years. Debbie, I hope you are feeling a bit better today. I can well understand your emotions going in all directions. You have been through a lot over the past year or so. Please remember to take one day as it comes and just let yourself breathe when you are feeling this way. When I feel overwhelmed with everything I only focus on the day at hand. Carol, my thoughts are with Kim and you, and sending prayers for a speedy recovery. Wishing everyone a better day. Kate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted May 13, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 13, 2014 Laurie....thank you for sharing....Holy Hill.....it looks like a place where one would feel calm...and feel a 'knowing' more later.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted May 13, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 13, 2014 Dee....I know your day with 'Babydoll' was fun.... Shannon....your girl wanted ya'll to come outside....to see the 'Mother's Day gift' she sent you.... Cherry.....I think a parent 'knows' when their child has sent them a sign or message....your Kylie loved how you celebrated her 'earth birthday'... Kate....we had 2 days of rain last week...and had more rain last night....really cooled things off....in this area....we never complain about the rain....we went through a drought about 3 years ago....we love every drop that falls....hope your weather will co-operate and you can 'dig' in the mother earth... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted May 13, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 13, 2014 HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY,.....SWEET KYLIE....ANGEL IN HEAVEN. Cherry-----Sorry I missed Kylie's birthday. She's an angel,...an will always be in your heart & soul forever. Peace & comfort to you. Davey&Lisasmom.......Sherry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted May 13, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 13, 2014 Carol-----I'm glad to hear that Kim is now home. I can so relate to how youare all so concerned, and keeping the vigil for her (along with the Drs.) asshe heals and recuperates from such a major operation. I know that yourtrip to the cemetery must have been so sad....without your dear son and husband to be here for support in this family crisis. You are right...inknowing that Mike and Ralph are indeed together in heaven. Yikes......those meds are so outrageously expensive....sometimes I think that thepharmaceutical companies' charges for meds are based without anyconscious or compassion for the patients.....with only profits in mind.Sending prayers for all your family. Peace to you all. Sherry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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