Grief & Healing from a Christian-Biblical Worldview

[4everjoeysmom]

Deb, I agree.  Exciting and wonderful!!  Thanks to the Lord.  I believe in Him there will be complete restoration and healing!!!  Love, Claudia

[msroderskie]

I am in complete agreement with the advice you got from our sisters here, Lana.  As everyone else has pointed out, with references, the Copeland description of grief is way off-base from the Word.  What silly things people end up preaching when their main focus is in finding a demon behind every door!  Many years ago I attended a church that went in that direction and ultimately couldn't stay there.

Claudia, it's great that you will be getting photos that you've never seen of Joey.  It can be a really jarring experience too.  That had not happened to me in quite a while, then recently my daughter showed me a photo that someone gave her of my son Phil and I could hardly pay attention to the conversation after that, but mostly stared at the photo.   It's an odd kind of experience. 

I have got to get off my BUTT and put a photo of the boys here on BI.  There are plenty from when they were little kids, but the adult photos all seem to be separate, so maybe I can splice one together.  I have this thing about wanting to be fair.  Matty was the spoiled younger kid, so I tend to water the flowers on Phil's side of the grave stone first.  Talk about silly!

Love to all my sisters in Christ,

Rody

[lagrangel]

Rody,

  Thanks, I am blessed to have such dear sisters in the Lord. I would love to see pictures of your boys. I hope you have a good day!  I must run have to get ready for school. Love, Lana

[4everjoeysmom]

Anne, You are on my heart.  Before going to bed tonight, I just wanted to post and let you know that prayers are covering you.  I should have posted earlier, as I realize now you are hours ahead of me in the time zones.  Hopefully you are sleeping soundly and you have found blessing in the day.  Having just passed Joey's 2 year date, I found it wasn't quite as difficult as the first year, but the missing was just as intense.  I'm sure you feel the same...  You are not alone, and Jamie is not forgotten.  Big Hugs, Claudia

[lagrangel]

Anne,

   I am sorry I missed Jamie's departure date. I was out of town and no computer. I pray that the Lord surrounded you with his comfort and helped you through that difficult day. It seems hard to believe Jamie has been gone 2 years and my Brent has been gone 1 year. May God continue to surround you with love and peace in this long journey. Peace and love, Lana

[daniellemom]

Anne,

I've been thinking about you and my prayers are with you.

[daniellemom]

Everyone,

Has anyone heard from Patti (Big Mike's Mom)? Patti if you are reading and just not posting I've been thinking about you lately and hope everything is going well for you and your family.

Claudia,

How is your mother and her husband doing?

[4everjoeysmom]

Nope! Haven't seen Patti online lately. Hope you are doing ok, Patti!!

It has actually been kind of quiet on this thread lately. I figure everyone is just taking a breather. I'm in Quito for a couple of days. It's been quite a while since I have been to the city. It's noisy and cold here, and very polluted. But I'll make the most of the 2 days here and be happy to head home to the Rainforest on Friday.

Love and prayers to and for all, ~Claudia

[fujismum]

Hello all,

I am peeping out from my hiding place.It was tough going through another dreadful anniversary of Jamie's death.So many reminders and bad memories come clearly into focus. We laid flowers as the accident site and of course many flowers were left at Jamie's grave. So good to know others remember him too. I lit a blue candle on the 1st September, in many ways I hate and resisit these rituals but as time has gone on I find some small comfort in the "doing " of them. Like you all too I expect.

 I was very heartwarmed to visit this site today and see so many specific thoughts and prayers for me, Bless you all, so caring. It's not just the anniversary date is it? It's all the painful revisiting of difficult parts of the process after a sudden death- post mortems,funeral home visits, the funeral preparations- you know - I could go on and on, but you all know. So mnay people don't have a clue how hard it all is, but you guys do. Love to you all.Anne

[mom2sarah]

Hi all those who mourn with hope,

Its been a month since our Sarah passed away in a one car accident.  My hubby and I

felt carried by God and had many aspirations of Sarah being now with Him.  Then I went o MySpace page and for religion she called herself a agnostic.  I only know she told me she believed Jesus died for her sins and she also told a friend who knew her that Jesus was in her heart. But she may just been telling us that because she felt cornered into giving us a answer that she knew we wanted to hear.  Anyways in spite of that 'agnostic' claim I feel she is with Jesus now. 

   Last night though I felt so alone and I could not control my grief. I just wailed

and my husband heard me and came out to comfort me. We cried together and as  we were in the moment out on our deck looking down in our lawn we saw a distinct shadow approach us and then it fled away between the houses.  There was no moonlight last night and this shadow was clearly spiritual   It was so distinct that we both said to each other "Did you see that" My husband is never really spiritual and yet the rest of the night he kept talking about it.  This morning he kept talking about it.

Was this shadow of God or Satan?  We do know when it left we found peace and slept well last night.

   Would God send help in a shadow form or would satan come in a shadow?  Not real sure yet.

Thank you and if anyone can expound on this experience please do.

[daniellemom]

Mom2Sarah,

If you found peace I would have to say that the Lord gave you peace. Satan will try to get you when you are down but we must tell him to get behind us for the Lord is leading us even on this rough/rocky road we are on.

My daughter Danielle was also killed in a one car accident almost 11 months ago. She was 21.

My prayers are with you,

Sonya (Danielle's Mom)

[mom2sarah]

Dear Sonya, 

                    I am deeply sad for your loss.  Danielle looks like a very happy girl

I am amazed at how all of our young who pass on seem to all have such a special

aura to them.  It really does seem that the good die young. I remember hearing once of a young mother who was a rare human being that was full of mercy, compassion and kindness went to be with our Lord leaving her children with a great loss and much confusion.  Someone with profound wisdom explained to the children that  their mothers life was like a bright consuming fire  that burned so bright into others life that it burned more quickly and the wick was used up where as in many others life the fire is dimmer and it takes the wick longer to burn down.  I really believe this is why our

loved ones died young as they burned brighter in a darkened world and now they are

being lit continuously in the magestic light their savior.  Bless God

              I do agree with you that the spiritual shadow was sent by God to bring us peace. I hope it was also to give me peace to last the rest of my lifetime of knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that our Sarah is with Him too!  It was always a fear of mine that because of it having to be her decision to make she would miss God. I always prayed whatever it takes Lord I want Sarah to be with us in eternity. 

     May we all rest in comfort and peace that He has all things in our lives under control.

Laura

    

       

[4everjoeysmom]

Dear Sweet Sarah's Mom,

I read your post early this morning, and then had to leave shortly after for a day full of errands and activity. You've been on my mind and heart a lot today. You know... It is why God is God and we are not. He can do those wonderfully supernatural things to catch our attention, discipline us, or comfort us whenever, and we are so blessed for that. I am glad that you and your husband found peace last night. It will be an up and down roller coaster of a journey for some time to come. But to have God's peace in the midst is the best we could HOPE for, and we do.

I found God's peace a lot throughout my early grief journey. There were other times when I couldn't be consoled. It ebbed and flowed...and it still does, but not to the depths of woe that I felt in that first year and a half or so. I just passed 25 months and I truly understand deeply how pain and joy can co-exist. I am thankful I have joy. A couple of years ago I thought I never would again. But as God has interjected throughout this part of my journey with His loving kindness, mercy and grace, I have found strength beyond imaginable, peace beyond understanding, and Hope for my future. You will too, because I can see how much you lean on the Lord and not on your own understanding. It takes doing just that to make it through the storm with a vision of Hope and Light in your heart.

I just wanted to let you know you are not alone. I know you know that you have Jesus. But you have sisters here who love you and care so much for your hurting heart.

Hugs and blessings, Claudia

[mom2sarah]

One of my darkest hours

Another morning dawns and reality of my sweet sarah not being in the world surfaces. I try to remember her as she was or imagine her alive with God and both attempts

make me very sad. The stillness in my home is so very loud telling me I'll never hear my daughter's footsteps as she runs into the house and back out.

  This is another phase of the nightmare that began Aug 2 this year and its expecting much more from me than I think I can give. The constant calls and family coming to

keep me company has ceased and here I sit on a rainy day alone in my own personal Hell. Its getting harder to trust God now as I feel he has quit reassuring me Sarah

is with him. I know He wants me to start walking in what He has shown me but my emotions and selfish nature are getting the best of me.

  How can I go on, how did all of you past this. I have no other children, grandchildren,

only my husband who is sinking with me. This is our lot in life now and I don't know if we will make it. How long will the days of crying be? When will I stop dreading the dawn that I used to love because it brought another day of oppportunity and expectation with it? When will I ever be even halfway normal again.  I am angry because my world has been turned upside down and now I have to deal with it.

  I am sorry that I am such a negative mood as I usually have been a positive in spite of person but today I am weak and in the trenches.

[4everjoeysmom]

Laura, I wrote to you on the other thread, not realizing you would post the same message here... so, I will answer more Scripturally here...

One thing that helped me to cope was to train myself to think "eternally" instead of narrowly so worldly. Of course we have sustained a huge blow in losing our children. It changes most, if not everything, about our world around us. But eternally, our children are fully alive and well in the presence of the Lord. I imagine that what you read on Sarah's Myspace page was in part a result of the pressures of the world making her feel self-conscious about her faith. No one is immune to wavering. But we all are covered by His grace. Let God lead you, and not the voices of the world or anyone or anything else. That is a personal choice that you can make. When the enemy and the things of this world crashed loudly around me, I had to focus very hard, and sometimes it was hard to break through and see the eternal perspective. But God did help me get to that point. It takes the kind of blind trust that defies human nature and worldly law. But you can do this!

Php 4:6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

Php 4:7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Php 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

Php 4:9 What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me--practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

Psa 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!"

Psa 46:11 The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Try if you can to reach into all of the Word engraved in your heart... and know the Holy Spirit has been sent as our helper. I had trouble praying for a while, but I knew the Spirit was helping me. Trust in the Lord and His help.

Also, please visit my son Joey's memorial page--this link specifically goes to the eulogy my husband gave for Joey during the service. I believe it will speak to your heart... If you have trouble with the link, e-mail me at clab2010@yahoo.com or PM me here. Hugs and prayers, Claudia

http://joey-mcconkey.virtual-memorials.com/main.php?action=view&mem_id=7142&page_no=2

[fujismum]

Dear mum2Sarah,

I was so sad to read how you are feeling at the moment, but believe me we have all been there. Those early days of loss are really very terriying.I was in the most physical and emotional pain, I thought I was having heart attackls the pain in my chest and arms was so bad.

Despite our Christian faith, the emptiness, loss and pain can be so very overwhelming. I remember feeling that God seemed very far away and I had been abandoned by Him. I think this is a very common feeling in the shock and numbness of early grief. Remember, you have been stunned emotionally and physically by the loss of your lovely daughter. The shock is maybe beginning to wear off a little, and with it the anaesthetising effect of shock. After a couple of months, for me at least the full pain began to set in. Before this happened I imagined that bereaved parents would draw close to each other and they would be able to support each other through the shared agony.

In reality this is rarely so, because you are   both so swamped in your own place of pain that you cannot comfort each other. We were both drowning and could not throw any support to each other. Try not to expect too much from your husband at this point. Neither of you have much to give to each other, you are running on empty. Just be as kind and gentle to each other as you can.

We found that walking, cycling,even if it was wet, cold, windy,dark was what got us through some of our darkest hours. We would cycle in raging wind and rain in the dark,often very late at night- not caring because we hurt so badly- what was a bit of bad weather to us? But it gave us something to do, we didn't have to talk yet were together, and it tired us so maybe we could sleep a little. And it was good to feel the physical pain of hard exercise when we were in so much emotional pain.

Do anything that can help to pass a few more painful hours. That's what it felt like to me at first- just get through another minute, another hour, another day, another ghastly night.... At this stage it's probably all you can do. Brighter tomorrows are impossible to imagine or believe, survival is the name of the game. God IS with you, beside, carrying you, weeping with you. You will survive, and one day there will be glimpses of joy again in your lives. But for now you have to get through today, and that is going to take all your strength and faith. We are with you, we walk the path. Share how you feel, it really does help.Tell us, however bad.And we all understand.

 We love our children so much, of course it is agony to say goodbye to them( for now, because we WILL see then again one day)

It is the price of our love, so it hurts like crazy. I try to remember that when the pain is so bad- somehow it helps to make it understandable..We grieve with HOPE.But it still hurts like crazy.

God bless you sweetheart.

Anne

[wyomingsal]

Laura,

I just wanted to let you know I am thinking about you and praying for you.  Anne, Claudia and Sonya have answered so well and with Godly wisdom.  Here I am over a year out now and I still have days when I sink into the pit of agony.  The pain of missing my son is so overwhelming sometimes.  I am not sure how I got through the first months.   Around the 3rd to 4th month the depression and mourning truly kicked in.  I think over the first two months, that numbing shock still protected my heart from true understanding of what Joshua's death really meant to me.  I know that my faith has been one of the only things that has allowed me to function.  Even in my darkest hours....the hope of eternity....of seeing my boy again...is what lets me put one foot in front of the other and resolve to live each day for my Lord and Savior.  I spent many hours weeping....alone in the car with KLove (Christian music).  Each song spoke directly to my heart.  I spent many hours typing poems on the computer.  It helped me to try to make since of my swirling disjointed thoughts.  Many mornings I awoke before anyone else and came down and sat on the couch and searched the Bible for scriptures.  I prayed and wept and cried out for God to comfort me and help me make sense of things.  There are better and worse days.  The days I can lift my eyes to Heaven and think in the context of eternity are the days I do better then when I get stuck in the here and now without my son.  Your Sarah told you and her friend that she accepted Jesus as her Lord.  Hold onto that.  Listen to the small assurances given to you by our Lord.  My theme verse this year has been, " all things work together for the good of those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose."...from Romans.  I don't understand the good, but I trust that God does.  One day we will see the good that came out of our children leaving Earth before we were ready for them to go.  Until then I will serve our Lord waiting for the day we can meet with our children and here our Lord say, "Well done, my good and faithful servant." 

God's peace and comfort apon you, dear Laura,

Sally

[4everjoeysmom]

Hi Sal! Your post is so real. It made me think on the Verse you shared in a way I hadn't before... The ULTIMATE GOOD being eternally in the presence of God. So no matter what happens to any of us here, to be there is better than anything... Our kids got the ultimate good earlier than we did. What we have isn't bad, because we do have that HOPE. It's just a tougher journey to get to that ultimate beginning of eternal life on the other side...

I think the immediate "good" that any of us have received is the beautiful ministering from godly women who have walked before us and vow to walk with us along this journey--whether through counsel, prayer, writing and posting, sharing in some way to bring comfort.... these things are good. And no matter how much the evil one works to defeat us, we can only be knocked down. We cannot be destroyed in Christ. That one may defeat my body in this life, but he will never defeat my spirit!

[daniellemom]

Hello Everyone,

I just wanted to say hello and to let you all know that Terry (Kristy's Mom) and I had lunch together yesterday.  She made the most beautiful pray shawl and gave it to me.  She is such a wonderful person. 

I went to see a couselor last week and I'm going back again next Thursday to give it another chance.

Danielle's birthday is coming up and I'm having a hard time with that, But I'm sure this is normal.

Love and prayers to all,

Sonya

 

 

[4everjoeysmom]

Sonya, How wonderful that you and Terry spent time together yesterday. And what a beautiful gift, your prayer shawl. Mine came to me at a perfect time. It had to have been a Spirit led action on my friend's part, for sure. I hope you find comfort in wrapping the shawl around you as you pray and shed tears. It's a beautiful reminder, physically and spiritually, to know that someone cares so much to have prayed over that shawl as she made it and then presented it to you for comfort.

It is very understandable that Danielle's upcoming birthday would be a difficult hurdle for you. We've all been there and are there every time we meet a significant date on the calendar that reminds us how different that day would be if our babies were here. I'm praying for you.... Hugs, Claudia

[fujismum]

The prayer shawl sound lovely, but could someone explain what it is exactly? I have never come across one before and am intrigued.

I'm having a very bad day today. It is two years  to the day since we buried our son.I don't know why but this has hit me very hard today, worse than last year even.I miss him so.How do we bear it?

I sat in the garden and prayed my heart out to God. Why oh why do these awful things have to happen to us and leave us so shattered and broken. Why did our darling children not get the chance to live the earthly lives out in full? Will life ever get more bearable or is this how it will be for the rest of our days on earth?

Feeling very low.Sorry.

Anne

[4everjoeysmom]

Anne, I am so sorry you are feeling low today, and I certainly can relate as to why. You know, it doesn't seem to us that our children got to live out their earthly lives "in full", because we have created such expectations and measures according to our experiences and hopes in this life... but I believe they lived out their lives fully, even though it hurts like hell on earth to carry on without them here. How could God create such beautiful beings (as are our sons) and have their purpose in this life be cut short or wasted? What is marred now is my sense of motherhood...but not in the grand sense. It is just changed by pain and longing--missing my son. I know you feel that too. I believe in time you will find peace on a deeper level and comfort that goes beyond anything you ever expect to gain. It will come naturally through your growing walk and relationship with the Lord--a much deeper relationship than you've ever known. I have found that He reveals Himself to us so intimately through our brokenness when we are seeking Him throughout. It's an over-rated statement, but like the faith journey, the grief journey is a process too. Our just happen to go hand-in-hand...

A prayer shawl is a knitted or crocheted (some kind of handmade pattern) shawl or blanket-type covering that you can cover with (usually shoulders or lap--personal preference) as you meditate and pray. It is usually a gift to someone who is experiencing a hurdle in their faith journey. And generally it is woven by a person who prays over the shawl while making it. It is a gift of love that symbolizes God's love and covering, and it is a special reminder that someone has that much love for us as we are hurting that they should make something so precious for us. I had never heard of one either until one just showed up (very timely) in a package to me with an explanation behind it.

Anne, I can't send you a shawl..for one, I can't knit or crochet..LOL... but, dear Sister, I am praying for you and hoping that God's love and peace cover you right now.

Love, Claudia

[daniellemom]

Anne,

I'm so sorry you are feeling down.  My prayers are with you and your family.  

[lagrangel]

Anne,

I am so sorry for your deep saddness. I have thought those very thoughts the last few days. How can I, how will I? Only by the grace of God and his love for me I keep asking for his help. Our children are in the presence of God which we all want. I know their life was short but what rewards they have in heaven. No pain, no struggles, no time, just a joyous eternal life.  My love and prayers are with you. May God surround you with his love and peace. You have been such a blessing to me since finding BI.

                                                                             Love, Lana

[mom2sarah]

I am not sure if others here know of my struggles at my daughter Sarah's passing away. On Aug 2, 2008 Sarah was in a one ar SUV rollover fatality.  She is a very gentle peacemaking spirit but she did like to party. That fateful nite she lost her earthly life and I have been wavering in my Faith of her salvation ever since.  I have had confirmations thru His Word, also her friend came to calling hours to tell me Sarah told her she had Jesus in her heart a month before she passed, and many visions confirmed by His Word that it was God speaking to me assuring me she is with Him eternally.  But regardless of them all I was a doubting Thomas even though those who know her knew she was in Heaven including my husband. (Compassionate Claudia, my beautiful sister in the Lord was ministering to me with such Truth and Spirit , Thank You so very much)   Others here helped me so much as well and each left me with a piece of faith to build on and much appreciation is felt from my heart to yours. Thanks to all who helped me up while I sank. But in the process  I kept going back to the thot she died in her sin and lost her salvation because I did not see a real change in her even though she said she was saved. Satan twisted everything God showed me in His word and others attempts to help me believe.

I asked God to heal my Faith as I could not live thinking she missed heaven. 

  I can only think it may be because as a mother I saw things in her that made me doubt and worry about her salvation as well as the enemy of our Faith twisting Gods word.  Just a major attack on my vulnerabities.

  Last night I came to the end of myself on this matter. Here in ohio we had 70 mph winds that put out our electricity and I sat here alone in my dark house with no lights, TV , etc feeling like I was in my own personal Hell.  Nights, gloomy, rainy days are my worst grieving times as I imagine are some of your own worst times on this rocky path we are on. In the dark, all alone, full of despair I finally gave it up to God. I told Him this  "I know you have given me much to believe that my Sarah is home with you and she always was one of yours but I have not trusted you, our Word, or the Holy Spirits confirmation .  I will trust you now. "  I said and I meant it and just as I finished telling him that the Lights came on in my house.  I knew then God was confirming to me that my faith was healed and His light chased away the darkness of my soul and I rejoiced in The TRUTH, The Light and The Way!

  Again that night God completed His work in me through a natural act.  Hurricane Ike's backlash 1 hour after the lights turned back on ripped the steel frame that was attached to our deck off its foundations and it went up high in the air , up over our roof and trees and landed across the street in our neighbos front yard.  This frame held the canvas that was our covering to our deck. We went out to look and we could not find it in our backyard or side of our house. We never thot it would have flown over our house. A neighbor said it was unbelievable. As always I went into the house and opened the word and my bible opened to John 3:8 "The wind blows where it wishes and you hear the sound of it, but do not know where it comes from and where it is going; so is everyone who is born of the Spirit."  To me this means though I cannot see The Holy Spirit or expect the Holy Spirit to work in Sarahs heart and life as I think it should but the Holy Spirit will transform Sarah as He wish . I then knew God did His work in her as he saw fit and wether I thot I should see it done in her as I expected it to happen is not for me judge but it the Holy Spirits work and it will be a invisible work in her heart not for me to see.  But I can hear her say "Mom, I have Jesus in my heart and know that He finished His work in her and reemed her into His arms that fatal night Safe and sound forever.  And I am now at peace with that!!!

Here is a commenbtary and most of the others I read say the same thing.

Love and Peace to all who are suffering thru this lifelong battle and yes I know I know its fresh for me, and yes I do not want to go down this path, but at lease we are not alone as we have each other and we have our Lord and Savior, Jesus

Love to all who grieve with me

Laura

v. 8. The same word (pneuma) signifies both the wind and the Spirit. The Spirit came upon the apostles in a rushing mighty wind (Acts 2:2), his strong influences on the hearts of sinners are compared to the breathing of the wind (Eze. 37:9), and his sweet influences on the souls of saints to the north and south wind, Cant. 4:16. This comparison is here used to show, 1. That the Spirit, in regeneration, works arbitrarily, and as a free agent. The wind bloweth where it listeth for us, and does not attend our order, nor is subject to our command. God directs it; it fulfils his word, Ps. 148:8. The Spirit dispenses his influences where, and when, on whom, and in what measure and degree, he pleases, dividing to every man severally as he will, 1 Co. 12:11. 2. That he works powerfully, and with evident effects: Thou hearest the sound thereof; though its causes are hidden, its effects are manifest. When the soul is brought to mourn for sin, to groan under the burden of corruption, to breathe after Christ, to cry Abba-Father, then we hear the sound of the Spirit, we find he is at work, as Acts 9:11, Behold he prayeth. 3. That he works mysteriously, and in secret hidden ways: Thou canst not tell whence it comes, nor whither it goes. How it gathers and how it spends its strength is a riddle to us; so the manner and methods of the Spirit's working are a mystery. Which way went the Spirit? 1 Ki. 22:24. See Eccl. 11:5, and compare it with Ps. 139:14.

[4everjoeysmom]

YES! Yes! Yes, Laura! Amen!!

I do not discount the teachings on sin at all. But what I think is so sad is man's ideals and religion that teach hopelessness in the act of dying in mortal sin. It's not of God. Christ died and shed blood to cover our sin (the believer), so that when the Father looks at us, he sees the righteousness in His Son--not our filthy sin. Now that does not mean we should think upon sin as something light. For the unbeliever, he is dead in his sin--not birthed in Spirit, thus regenerated with a new heart, new record and new life in Christ. Beyond being regenerated in new birth, it is then a process of growing in spiritual maturity (everyone at a different pace), and praying for the grace of the Holy Spirit to take us over so that we can walk in the Spirit, and not by flesh which causes us to sin out of its own nature. Even Paul struggled with his sin nature and addresses it very well in Romans 7..

Rom 7:14 For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am of the flesh, sold under sin.

Rom 7:15 I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.

Rom 7:16 Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good.

Rom 7:17 So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.

Rom 7:18 For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out.

Rom 7:19 For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.

Rom 7:20 Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.

Rom 7:21 So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand.

Rom 7:22 For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being,

Rom 7:23 but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members.

Rom 7:24 Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?

Rom 7:25 Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.

So while we will constantly struggle in the war of flesh and spirit within ourselves, I believe that as we seek and walk deeper in relationship with the Lord, less and less do we sin. It is a natural transformation that comes not of anything we can do, but purely by the grace of God. Nowhere does Scripture tell us that we will not struggle, or that we will become "perfect" (as Christ is) in our lives as long as we live in a body of flesh. But He does guide us to more and more righteousness as He matures us in the Spirit. SO many people get hung up on that dying in mortal sin...and frankly that is a doctrine born out of the law of religion and played upon by a spirit of deceit. Jesus paid for that sin already!! We do not have to pay for it again. To even try to pay for it again is like telling Jesus His Sacrifice was not good enough. And you know what? It was MORE THAN GOOD ENOUGH. It was PERFECT! What a twisted deceitful spirit to make one believe that there is no hope in what Jesus has already paid for and done "once for all" by telling us that we should sacrifice Him all over again and again to clean up our filth. It is not even close to adding up to the Gospel message that Jesus taught and IS. And it is by the grace of God that we can even have a repentant heart. As such, he convicts us of our sin, but He calls us to heart of repentance out of His love for us, not into some binding yoke of judgment and fear of death.

Lord, God, deliver us from this deceit and doctrine of man. Show us your Truth and justice. Help us to live by the Spirit as we journey through life and grief in these weary and putrid skins. Lord, we trust in your mercy and grace. We trust in your power to change us. We trust not in ourselves or any one or any thing that tells us anything "extra" of Your Doctrines, of Your Gospel. Thank you Jesus for dying to save us. Your precious blood was more than enough. We love you! Thank you for loving us THAT MUCH! Amen!!

We will however stand in judgment before Him when all is sad and done, and at that time all impurities are burned away. It is then that it will be truly revealed before God how much in our regenerated lives we did for Him and how much we did for our own selves. Everything that was not born of Him will be burned away. Nothing defiled will enter Heaven.

I have no idea how much was burned away from Joey--likely just about everything... But I know that when he entered heaven he was as beautiful and perfect as he could ever be--loved no less by God for having had nothing much to offer but his skinny naked self that the Lord created.

[mom2sarah]

Dear Compassionate Claudia, 

I  sit amazed at how you minister to me and others and how transparent you present yourself to us here. You speak the truth in such a fashion that it moves my spirit within.  I am amazed at the work God has done in your life and ministry and I can tell it was wrought in you by the experience you have gone thru.  I am blessed to come to know you even though we met from our precious losses. The insight God has imparted on you is a double portion  and you share it with all of us so eloquently. "A Word Aptly Spoken Is Like Apples Of Gold In Settings Of Silver" Proverbs 25:11 comes to mind when I read how you speak healing, truth and hope to all of us. Thank you Claudia  for being a open vessel to me.  May the the anointing oil cover you and your hubby and son and entire ministry my sister

Love  Laura

[4everjoeysmom]

Laura-- Certainly wrought in me through my brokenness, but only by way of the Holy Spirit. I am deeply in awe of how the Holy Spirit moves me....

I don't have a lot of pictures of our natural areas on our ministry web site. But I do have a prayer calendar that was made (using photos that we took here & Scripture) for those on this thread who desired to have a reminder of others dates. I would be happy to add any dates you wish for yourself, and then will e-mail you a revised copy.

Terry, I can add dates for you as well... and anyone else desiring to have a copy of the prayer calendar, please let me know. I will take requests through next week, and then get the revised copies sent out to everyone new and who already has one.

I will be away from Friday this week until Wednesday of next week--heading to the coast for some special dental work to save a tooth that has been a real bear. A Christian dentist (Bellita--pronouned Bay-Jee-Tah) is hooking me up with a root canal, build up with post, temporary crown, (and ultimately a permanent crown) for a half-way affordable price on a missionary's humble support. I've never been out to that location, near Manta (where the US Military base is), and look forward to a little bit of sight-seeing while I am there. Please pray for me that the travel will be safe, that I won't become ill from the food out there, and that my tooth can endure all of the stress that it will take to try and save it. I could have it pulled, but it would be the second moeller lost on the same side after forfeiting my wisdom teeth. The structure of my jaw in that area is breaking down, and losing that tooth could start a series of problems for the rest of my teeth along that jawline. I may be 45 a week from tomorrow, but I still would like to hang onto my original teeth as long as I can--God willing!

Thanks all!! I love you! Blessings, Claudia

[wyomingsal]

Claudia,

I would love to have an updated calander if possible.    My husband recovered my computer and lost the original. 

And to all my Christian brothers and sisters,

Though I don't write often, I think about you every day and continue to pray for all of us who have children in Heaven.  We had news of an 11 year old who died over labor day weekend here in Casper, WY.  My heart breaks for these parents and I am trying to get their number so I can let them know they are not alone.  I want to give them my number and some resources.  I am also making a music cd with many of the songs that touched my heart over the first without my boy.  I am hoping to give it to this family so new to this horrible loss.  God's peace..

Sal

[4everjoeysmom]

You got it, Sal! And I will be praying for you as well, as the Lord leads you to minister to this broken family.

Bless you,

Claudia

[daniellemom]

Sal,

Are you planning anything for Joshua's Birthday? How is your husband doing?

Claudia,

How your Mom and Greg doing?

[4everjoeysmom]

Sonya,

Greg is never going to come back home to her, and that makes my mom very, very sad. As far as how things are in their current circumstances, they are both doing pretty well and the best possible. My mom is slowly learning to do things she has never done before, and she is keeping a very positive attitude as much as she can. Greg is adapting better to his new home, and is growing more comfortable with the people that around him constantly--though he always says he wants to go home. It shatters her heart every time she has to drive away and watch him wave goodbye to her from inside of a locked door.... It's very sad, but I am thankful that my mom leans on the Lord.

Thanks for asking, Sonya. It means a lot to me. Hugs, Claudia

[4everjoeysmom]

I am leaving soon for my 5-day journey. I'm sorry for any delays in writing to folks (especially you, Laura). It's been a busy few days around here. I don't know if I will have internet, but am taking my laptop just in case. If you don't hear from me, please don't think me not well or rude. I will catch up as soon as I can. God bless and keep you!

Love, Claudia

[mom2sarah]

Claudia,   May your trip be fulfilling to God and be fruitful.  May you have travelling mercy and He bring you back safely.  My prayers go with you and the annointing of God

Love Laura

[lagrangel]

Sonya,

I know today will be difficult and my prayers and thoughts are with you today. May God surround you with his comfort and love to help you through this day. Love, Lana

Happy Birthday to your sweet beautiful girl Danielle, who will be celebrating with all our children!!

[fujismum]

Thinking of you Sonya and your dear sweet Danielle.I pray God goves you extra strength and peace to face difficult days.

Claudia, I pray for a safe journey and time to enjoy new surroundings  and feel refreshed, and that all the dental procedures go smoothly.

I never did get a calander- would love one, but my emails account is playing up so I may need to send you an update.

Dear Sal - I beleive Josh has a birthday around this time. Forgive me if I am wrong about this. Thinking of you anyway and your reaching out to others in need.

I think, no I definitely am, in the pits of grief at the moment. It is quite frightening to sink so low just as I enter the third year without Jamie, just when I might have expected to be making more progress towards "healing" on this journey. I know our loss was compounded by a painful courtcase that is only just completed this summer. I think I put aside a lot of my grief to deal with this and now I have to face it head on. I am clinging on to my faith, going through the motions of daily readings and prayer but I just don't seem to see or hear God in any of this. I beg Him to teach me to recognise His voice, to hear Him speak, to be able to listen but I don't seem to get any further on except maybe survive.Some of you describe such wonderful feelings of reassurance and peace and a sense of the Holy Spirit working in a powerful way, a confidence that your children are safe with God.I used to be so confident and assured in my faith but now- I am all over the place just when I need to stand firm.

Anne

[daniellemom]

Lana and Anne,

Thanks for the birthday wishes. We made it through the day. I did sing happy birthday and released balloon at 2:30 on the 20th.

[daniellemom]

Anne,

Continue to read and ask for guidance. Grief is a treaty thing and the devil will work on you telling you all kinds of lies. You know where your strenght comes from and just tell the devil to get behind you and leave you along because you are the Lords and you will not listen to his lies. I think sometimes we try so hard to show everyone how stong we are that we don't take the time to grieve and then it hits all at once. It may just be you are down right now because 3 years is so very long but still so short and how are you going to make it 3 more years and then 3 more years. Please be easy with yourself. Keep reading the bible and the Lord will lead you to confort.

Sonya (Danielle's Mom)

[fujismum]

Thanks for encouragement. I know we have a faith that is not based on feelings and I must stand on God's word.

I'm so glad you got through the diificult birthday date Sonya and felt able to mark it with balloons. So hard to know what to do and so different from how it used to be.

Love to everyone, hang on in there!

Anne

[daniellemom]

Anne,

Thanks, I only wish I could give you the encouragment that Claudia or one of the other ladies could. I don't fell like I should say anything because I'm a lot like you I just keep trying to take one step forward and then I feel like 2 steps back. We did release balloon for Danielle but it was just us. I didn't invite any family members or friends. Maybe next year? I wanted to invite everyone then I thought maybe I shouldn't because people just don't get it. I was talking with another mom and told her my disappointment that my husband family didn't even call on Saturday and check on him it was like the day didn't happen with them. So while you are praying say a pray for me not to be so ugly in my thoughts when people don't act/do like I think they should.

Sonya

[wyomingsal]

Sonya,

I am glad you made it through Danielle's Birthday.  Birthdays seem to be almost as hard as anniversary dates because they are days set aside to celebrate and share with the person you love.  Their birthday brings to the front of our heart and mind how important that person is to us and how much their absence hurts.  They are not here to celebrate with.  We must celebrate their life and the years we had with them and we don't have them with us to love and enjoy and buy gifts for and to show how much we love them. 

Anne,

God's peace upon you dear sister.  We all seem to experience that horrible sinking into the pit of grief and disbelief when we least expect it.  It seems like the more time that goes by, the less often we crash; but the falls are just as hard.  The build up of sadness and pain must be released and even though the river of pain flows slower over time, it still builds up and the floodgates must be opened to release the tears.  I have been thinking about you and wondering how the trial is going/has gone? And the young man being charged?  You may not be able to talk freely about it and that is ok but know I have been praying for you and your family.

My son Joshua's birthday is tomorrow.  He would be 12.  Almost a teenager.  He was already 5'2" at age 10 so I have to wonder what he would look like at 12.  Joshua's hamster died this week and my son Micah who had cared for him after Joshua died is struggling with the grief of losing a pet on top of missing his big brother.  We will bury little "Hammy" at our cross site tomorrow on Joshua's birthday.  If pets do go to Heaven, Joshua will get little hammy back again for his heavenly birthday. 

Sal

[4everjoeysmom]

Sal, Thinking of you... Not many words, but many prayers for you. I know it's difficult...

Anne, Praying for you too! And Sonya, sending you gigantic hugs. I see you reaching out to others... Though you may not feel that you have much to offer, you exemplify what "walking in the Spirit" looks like.

For all who wished me well and prayed for me, I am home and recovering. It went a little rougher than I thought it would, but the special dentists did a good job and were able to save my tooth. Thank you Lord for taking care of me!! And I was able to get back to Michael yesterday in time to spend the second half of the day (my birthday) with him. He gave me 45 roses, one for each year. So sweet!!

I'll catch up more with everyone soon. We've been having bead lightening storms over the past couple of days here--phone lines I believe have been struck by lightening and are not working, and the internet/cell service is sketchy at best. Ah... Life in the Rain Forest!! Love to all. You are always in my prayers!! ~Claudia

[lagrangel]

Sal,

I know tommorrow will be difficult but what you said is so true.. We do have to celebrate our loved ones special day. I can't ever imagine not having Brent in my life. A very supportive coworker of mine made me so aware of that after she talked to me after Brent left us. She had confided in me that she lost her little girl at 6 months. She said, "think how much Brent added to your life and how special he was to your entire family. Can you imagine never having a Brent in your life, so we have to celebrate how special and important they were." My prayers are with you on Josh's birthday. May God surround with his love tommorrow and the days after, it always seems to be such a bumpy ride.

Love, Lana

Happy Birthday Josh.......

[daniellemom]

Sal,

I hope your day went well yesterday, Happy Birthday Jousha!!!

Claudia,

Glad you are back and things went OK.

 

[mom2sarah]

Claudia, 

   So good to know your dentistry work went well but sorry it was rough at the same time.  And what a sweetheart your hubby is.  He knows us women need to be romanced and shown love.  I hope you get back to feeling better soon.  I know myself I hate any dentistry work done on me.  If it was up to me I'd get false teeth but no dentist will agree to do that for me. 

  When you get back to your normal rountine I need to chat with you again. 

Hugs  Laura

PS  I had a few Christian's tell me God will not tell you if your loved one who passed away is saved.  I will not know that until I pass on. One lady on 700 prayer line told me if sarah was drinking when she died she wasn't going out saying Hallalluia.  I just felt this lady was saying to me "Don't count on it"   Has anyone else here been told this too?  I am finding that there are  negative Christians and there are positive Christians. 

 I was just starting to feel confident my sweet Sarah was now with the Lord

as I struggled with where she went after drinking and driving.  She told me many times she had Jesus in her heart but she just could not give up her partying. I digressed when these Christians told me that it was my own thots/desires telling me she made it to heaven. They believe only God and sarah know where her spirit is now and God will not reveal it to us here on earth.  I panic at the thot she is in hell and I am not sure  I can live on if she is in hell.  It would torment me. I just wish my torment will end soon.  I felt strongly that God showed me Sarah was with Him thru His Word, Spoken and Written and a vision. Everyone who knows her believes she is with God so why can't I get it? I know when I was carrying her it took a mountain of Faith not to lose her because I had 2 miscarriages and a stillborn before her. If I had it then why can't I have it now?   Its hard to surrender to God this burden now and will I never know. Isn't it hard enough living without her in my life? Do I have to live without knowing she is safe in Our Fathers arms?  Such a Great Sadness

[4everjoeysmom]

Laura, I am telling you true here, If I listened to everyone else out there about who they think God is and every rule I should follow to be a good Christian, and actually believed all of it, I would be so torn and of little to no faith that God could actually exist. It's this ridiculous and man-made stuff that non-believers see in the behavior of so-called Christians which causes them to say, "I want no part of that nonsense".

I cannot say I know for 100% certainty that Joey is in the presence of the Lord, based on my thoughts, my ideas, my feelings or emotions, or what I want and need to believe. But I can say without a breath of doubt that I know the Lord intimately--VERY intimately. I can say without hesitation that He has given me the beautiful gifts of discernment (to know wisely what is not of God and what He desires for me) and His peace (in knowing that He is in control and that every ounce of what and who I am can believe that He is just and faithful).

Php 1:6 And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.

(The following is long--please bear with me to read it as it is from study notes on Philippians 1:6 and describes a great deal about the work God does in us--A PROCESS INCOMPLETE ON THIS SIDE OF ETERNITY!!)

--------------

Php 1:6 Being confident of this very thing,.... The reason of his thanksgiving, and of his making request with joy continually on the behalf of this church, was the confidence and full persuasion he had of this same thing, of which he could be as much assured as of any thing in the world:

that he which hath begun a good work in you, will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ: by this good work is not meant the preaching of the Gospel among them, nor a Gospel church state set up in the midst of them: for though the preaching of the Gospel was a good work, and issued well in the conversion of many, in their edification and comfort, and which was still continued; and though a Gospel church state was erected among them, and was now flourishing, yet the apostle could not assure himself of the continuance of either of them, especially until the day of Christ; and both have been removed from thence many hundreds of years ago: nor is their liberal communication to the support of the Gospel intended; for though this was a good work, yet this was not wrought by God, but by themselves, and was not wrought in them, but done by them; nor their good lives and conversations. The Syriac version indeed renders it "good works", but these cannot be designed, for the same reasons as before; for though they are good things, and answer many valuable ends and purposes, yet they are external works done by men, and not internal ones wrought in them by God; wherefore by it is undoubtedly meant the work of grace upon their hearts, sometimes called the work of faith, because that is a principal part of it: this is God's work, and not man's, as may be concluded from the nature of the work itself, which is the transforming of a man by the reviewing of him, a regeneration, a resurrection, and a creation, and therefore requires almighty power; and from the condition man is in by nature, he is dead in sin, and has no power to act spiritually, and much less what is equal to such a work as this; he has no will, desire, and inclination to it, but all the reverse; and if he had, he could no more effect it, than the dry bones in Ezekiel's vision could cause themselves to live. This is the work of God. Sometimes it is ascribed to the Father, who regenerates, calls by his grace, reveals his Son, and draws souls unto him; and sometimes to the Son, who quickens whom he will, whose Spirit is given, whose image is stamped, and out of whose fulness grace is received; but more commonly it is attributed to the Spirit, who is a spirit of regeneration, sanctification, and faith: and this is a "good work", as it must needs be, since it is God's work; he is the efficient cause of it; his good will and pleasure, his grace and mercy are the moving cause of it, and not men's works; and his good word is the means of it. The matter of it is good; it is an illumination of the understanding, a subduing of the will, a taking away of the stony heart, and a giving of an heart of flesh, an infusion of spiritual life, a formation of Christ in the soul, and an implantation of all grace there: it is good in its effects; it makes a man a good man, and fits and qualifies him to perform good works, which without it he cannot do; it makes a man a proper habitation for God, and gives him meetness for the heavenly inheritance. And this is an internal work, a work begun "in" the saints; nothing external is this work; not an outward reformation, which, when right, is the fruit of this good work; nor external humiliation for sin; nor a cessation from the grosser acts of sin; nor a conformity and submission to Gospel ordinances; all which may be where this work is not; but it is something within a man; as appears from the names by which it goes; such as spirit, so called, because it is of a spiritual nature, wrought by the Spirit of God, and has its seat in the spirit of man; it is called the inward man, which is renewed day by day; a seed that remains in him, and a root which is out of sight, and oil in the vessel, the heart, as distinct from the lamp of an outward profession: as also from the several things, which, together, make up the subject of it; it is the understanding which is enlightened; the will which is subdued; the heart and inward parts in which the laws of God are written; the mind and conscience, which are sprinkled with the blood of Christ, and cleansed; and the affections, which are set on divine objects. This is a begun work, and but a begun one. It may be said to be begun as soon as light is let into the soul by the Spirit of God; when it sees its lost state, and need of a Saviour, for as the first thing in the old creation was light, so in the new; when the fear of God is put into the heart, which is the beginning of wisdom; when love appears in the soul to God, to Christ, to his people, word, and ordinances; and when there are the seeing, venturing, and relying acts of faith on Christ, though there is a great deal of darkness, trembling, and unbelief; and when it is got thus far, and even much further, it is but a begun work; it is not yet finished and perfect: this appears from the several parts of this work, which are imperfect, as faith, hope, love, knowledge, &c. from the indwelling of sin, and corruption in the best of saints; from their various continual wants and necessities; from their disclaiming perfection in this life, and their desires after it. But the apostle was confident, and so may every good man be confident, both for himself and others, that God who has, and wherever he has begun the good work of grace, will "perform", finish it, or bring it to an end, as the word here used signifies: and this the saints may assure themselves of, from many considerations; as from the nature of the work itself, which is called living water, because it always continues, a well of it, because of its abundance, and is said to spring up to eternal life; because it is inseparably connected with it, where there is grace, there will be glory; grace is the beginning of glory, and glory the perfection of grace; this work of grace is an incorruptible seed, and which remains in the saints, and can never be lost; it is a principle of life, the root of which is hid in Christ, and that itself is maintained by him, and can never be destroyed by men or devils: and also from the concern God has in it, who is unchangeable in his nature, purposes, promises, gifts, and calling; who is a rock, and his work is perfect sooner or later; who is faithful, and will never forsake the work of his hands, and has power to accomplish it; and who has promised his people, that they shall grow stronger and stronger, that they shall not depart from him, and he will never leave them. Moreover, this may be concluded from the indwelling of the Spirit, as a spirit of sanctification, as the earnest and seal of the inheritance, and that for ever; and from the intercession and fulness of grace in Christ, and the saints' union to him, and standing in him; as well as front the impotency of any to hinder the performance of this work, as sin, Satan, or the world: to which may be added the glory of all the three Persons herein concerned; for if this work is not finished, the glory of God the Father in election, in the covenant of grace, in the contrivance of salvation, in the mission of his Son, the glory of Christ in redemption, and of the Spirit in sanctification, would be entirely lost: wherefore it may be depended on, this work will be performed wherever it is begun, and that "until the day of Jesus Christ"; meaning either the day of death, when Christ takes the souls of believers to himself, and they shall be for ever with him, when this work of grace upon the soul will be finished; for God, who is the guide of his people, will be their God and guide even unto death: or else the last day, the day of judgment, the resurrection day, when Christ shall appear and raise the dead, and free the bodies of the saints from all their bondage, corruption, vileness, and weakness, which will be putting the last and finishing hand to this good work; nor will even the bodies of the saints be quitted by the Spirit of God till this is done.

-------------------------

That said, WHO IS ANY MAN OR WOMAN TO STAND IN RIGHTEOUS JUDGMENT as to claim that they have been perfected? WHO IS ANY MAN OR WOMAN TO PLANT "FEAR" into brothers and sisters by using words that lack HOPE? The word FEAR in the Scriptures defines WISDOM, not fear as if to frighten someone to behave. Throughout the teachings of Paul and other apostles, and Jesus the Christ Himself, Faith is not something we can do on our own, nor is the good works of God. It is God's grace and mercy upon us, His desire and will for reconciliation through His redemptive plan of Salvation through the blood of Jesus that spares any one of us. And if our Father in Heaven has "called us",He most assuredly will finish what He started in us. You see, these high and mighty Christians that do not observe God's grace and look toward works as something they have the power to do on their own, they don't get it yet. And the folks that stand to think that they can know with great certainty and a god-like judgment what God is doing in any other person's heart and life, they don't get it yet. And the one who stands with less humility and love for the brother or sister who is stumbling but would prefer to call them doomed as if the one has cornered the market on righteousness, they don't get it yet. And most definitely the one who think they can work their way to being called to salvation (the calling-regeneration-justification-sanctification-glorification---not necessarily in that order) surely does not recognize that their deeds in the sight of God are filthy menstrual rags if it has not been works driven by God's grace and not of their own attempt to please God through following rules and ordinances set by tradition and man-made religion.

I do not make a claim to know how God is working in anyone other than myself. But I too received comfort and was led by the Holy Spirit to a place of knowing that He has not abandoned my son, nor will He. He has not abandoned me, nor will He. And He has much, much work to do yet in me. I may not be much nearer to being fully regenerated, and certainly not glorified until my Day of Judgment. But I do know He called me. I am in a constant and continual process of being regenerated. I know He called my son. I saw the work by the grace of God in my son through three years of knowing Jesus before he died. I saw him stumble and fall down too. And rather than judge my son as if I stood in God's place to do so, I prayed for him and loved him and looked upon him as a broken little sheep that the Father was healing and caring for one day at a time, every day. I see myself as the same. And I thank God with my whole heart that it is He that is my judge and not those that call themselves brother and sister as they stand out in the open, yet share no HOPE with me in their words and deeds--but just one more rule or "righteous deed" that will make me a better Christian and perhaps save my already dead child from the depths of hell. There is no such action that can be done by the power of man.

Laura, I cannot tell you for certain what is the state of my son, or your daughter. But I can share the state of the righteous, just and faithful God we serve. He is not a hypocrite! He is not a liar! He is not a faith by words and deeds God. He is a God that infuses in us His righteousness through the work of the Holy Spirit. I know my son had the Spirit. I also know there were times in his life that He acted out in his flesh, yet his God did not abandon him. Time and again he was shown the mercy of God. In his final few weeks he walked in a way that only the Holy Spirit could have guided. He said and did things that I know without a breath of hesitation God led him to say and do, because in Joey's own power he did not have the means to say and do those things. Which one of us alive does not to this day stumble?? Mother Theresa even as much wrote that she felt her faith was weak. She struggled, even in a life of servitude in Jesus. Who are we that we are any less ordinary and any more extraordinary?

John 8:7

"Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone..."

Hold onto what you know of God, and seek with all your heart to know Him more. I am praying that the Holy Spirit fill you to the brink of you not being able to take much more of his goodness without exploding. Our God is a just and faithful God. No matter what anyone ever says to you, including me, you need to remember it is He that calls you to know His ways. Our Lord is wooing you to Himself in your brokenness. It is not He that is calling you into hopelessness and despair. That, my Sister, is the work of the enemy..............!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love you! I am praying for you. ~Claudia

[fujismum]

Dear all

I have written several long repiles on this page and then timed out - maybe my words were not going to be helpful to anyone- I am pretty miserable at the moment!

Sal- I did think of you across the miles as you faced dear Josh's birthday. Of course we try to imagine what they would be like now, taller, broader, funnier all those things. But we can only imagine.Hold tight to the precious memories and  there,s nothing wrong with tryng to imagine what they would be like if they were still here.We are mums, we thought we had our children for always and to be brutally robbed of seeing them grow is such heartache.But we can still imagine.

Mum of Sarah, firstly your daughter is so beautiful in the photo.What a delight she must have been and will continue to be for you. I read your words several times over and many of them resonate with me. Please be sure of the fact that if she professed Christ as Lord at any point in her life  then she is safe in God's arms.No matter where she was in her faith  at th moment of her death, she is surely written in the Lamb's Book of Life.No one and Nothing can score it out.  I also believe that God honours the prayers of a loving mother, I guess you prayed over her life from conception and commited her to God over and over again.

I think longing and wondering  and worrying about where our children are is a natural part of grief for many of us. Heaven is an abstract place for us here, where we are bounded by time and what we know.As parents we feel responsible for our children, and need to know where they are, what they are doing, are they safe? It is very hard to let go of these natural feelings of good parenting and trust God. Many times I wonder out loud "Jamie, where are you?".It all seems so far away from us here. I pray that we will find a peace in our hearts over this, that we will experience a certain and confident assurance that our children are safe with Him.Don't listen to those who put any doubt over where Sarah is, they do not know what was in your daughters heart.How cruel to say such a thing to a grieving mother.  Even if Sarah was apparantly doing things her own way and not God's way,( and don't we all do that at times ?) that does not mean she wasn't saved, or still had a strong faith underneath.We all stray at times, especially as young people in todays world.God certainly knows the peer pressures on our children as they experiment and appear to move away from Godly things.He understands and loves all the same.

I feel I'm rambling a bit, yet long to say something wise to help you in this. Sarah is with God, hang on the hope of things unseen. I pray for your peace in this worry.

God bless you

Anne

[fujismum]

Dear all

I have written several long repiles on this page and then timed out - maybe my words were not going to be helpful to anyone- I am pretty miserable at the moment!

Sal- I did think of you across the miles as you faced dear Josh's birthday. Of course we try to imagine what they would be like now, taller, broader, funnier all those things. But we can only imagine.Hold tight to the precious memories and  there,s nothing wrong with tryng to imagine what they would be like if they were still here.We are mums, we thought we had our children for always and to be brutally robbed of seeing them grow is such heartache.But we can still imagine.

Mum of Sarah, firstly your daughter is so beautiful in the photo.What a delight she must have been and will continue to be for you. I read your words several times over and many of them resonate with me. Please be sure of the fact that if she professed Christ as Lord at any point in her life  then she is safe in God's arms.No matter where she was in her faith  at th moment of her death, she is surely written in the Lamb's Book of Life.No one and Nothing can score it out.  I also believe that God honours the prayers of a loving mother, I guess you prayed over her life from conception and commited her to God over and over again.

I think longing and wondering  and worrying about where our children are is a natural part of grief for many of us. Heaven is an abstract place for us here, where we are bounded by time and what we know.As parents we feel responsible for our children, and need to know where they are, what they are doing, are they safe? It is very hard to let go of these natural feelings of good parenting and trust God. Many times I wonder out loud "Jamie, where are you?".It all seems so far away from us here. I pray that we will find a peace in our hearts over this, that we will experience a certain and confident assurance that our children are safe with Him.Don't listen to those who put any doubt over where Sarah is, they do not know what was in your daughters heart.How cruel to say such a thing to a grieving mother.  Even if Sarah was apparantly doing things her own way and not God's way,( and don't we all do that at times ?) that does not mean she wasn't saved, or still had a strong faith underneath.We all stray at times, especially as young people in todays world.God certainly knows the peer pressures on our children as they experiment and appear to move away from Godly things.He understands and loves all the same.

I feel I'm rambling a bit, yet long to say something wise to help you in this. Sarah is with God, hang on the hope of things unseen. I pray for your peace in this worry.

God bless you

Anne

[4everjoeysmom]

Anne, Sending big Hugs and many prayers for you...

Try typing your message in Word and then copying and pasting to BI. Or copy your text on your BI post before hitting the send button, so that if you time out you can paste your text and post it within a quick second or two. I learned that a while back when I had the same problems. Please don't be discouraged to think what you have to say is unimportant. This place is here to express what we need just as much as it is here to express support toward others.

I wish I could carry your burden for you to ease your pain... I cannot, but I know Jesus can... Love, Claudia

[fujismum]

I seem to be sending two messages now, complete with many typos- just about typifies the way I am at the moment! Thanks for the suggestion Claudia.

Claudia, I am glad the dental work is over for now and pray you make a  speedy recovery. I thought it was lovely for you to get all those roses for your special day, I reckon we are all a bit jealous about that particular gesture!

It's funny, we must have both been typing away to Laura ( Sarah's mum?)at the same moment from either side of the world.I hope something will help and at least there is genuine support and care going on here!

Love to everyone out there.

Anne