Grief & Healing from a Christian-Biblical Worldview

[dansmama]

Thank you for letting us know that you are OK, Claudia. I check this board frequently, looking for another piece of your wisdom to help me on this journey. I pray for you and your ministry. Peace and blessings, Marian

 

"I thank my God upon every remembrance of you"

Phil. 1:3

[fujismum]

It's quiet on this board lately.Without Claudia we seem to have lost our momentum.

We have been drawing alongside another family who tragically lost their little 4 year old daughter 4 weeks ago. We went to the beautiful service, my husband was asked to read the bible and he did so, clearly and beautifully. I was amazed at him but we had prayed so much that he would be strong and give them hope. The service was sad of course, but full of hope in the songs, readings and the sermon as they are a Christian family. But now the real heartache begins as we all know. That numbness and shock that gets you through the early days is like an anaesthetic compared to the onslaught of agony that follows.Reality hit me like a ton of bricks literally after the funeral and the long slow months that followed. I hope we can support them a little through this, but of course no one can take the pain away.

On a lighter note my husband Mike and I went out for the day last Saturday.Our son had bought us tickets to go to the Lion King, a popular theatre producation in London. we also went on the London Eye- just like tourists. It was a clear day and doing something so different was really refreshing for us. Of course we both thought about Jamie all day but I think we had a glimpse of healing - that we can carry on and find some sort of new normal despite the pain. The guilt is still there, doing nice things without Jamie still feels somehow wrong, but I am learning to carry him in my heart so he is with us. I know he would want us to be happy again.

I will probably get hit by an onslaught of grief now I've said that, but I have to be honest and maybe share the glimpses of hope along with the pain.

Love to all, those who write and those who browse.

Anne

[daniellemom]

Anne,

I'm so glad you are able to help this new family, hopefully this will promote some healing. Also, glad you and your husband Mike had a nice day. I know all too well the guilt feeling about having a nice time without Danielle but you are so right our children would want us to be happy. We know they are happy.

Sonya (Danielle's Mom)

[fujismum]

Good to see Danielle's beautiful face smiling on the screen again Sonia.

It's been a while since you shared- I wonder how you are?

Anne

[4everjoeysmom]

Hi Everyone! I am sorry to be so absent and that it pauses so many to wonder what happened to me. This has been such a hard "rainy season" for me, in more ways than one. I get so depressed with the long lack of sunshine, which spirals me backward into grief at times that even i can't believe I'm back there. But I'm still climbing and working my way to the greener pastures.

There's a young lady (early 20's) coming to stay here with us for a few months. She is arriving at the end of this month. What is so special about her is she has survived a rare form of brain cancer. Her life is very changed, physically and emotionally. But she's alive! I believe God did this--arranged for her to want to be here and for us to be her host family for this time. I am looking forward to seeing what develops from all of this--for her and for me. By the time she arrives, the rainy season will be almost over (another month), and we will be able to get out so much more to meet and treat the folks around here. I really am hopeful and looking forward to this...like Spring is coming.

I think I have been in a huge funk related to the in-between of being so happy for my son Patrick and his upcoming marriage in October, and the horrible downside that Joey will not be there. Patrick has chosen not to have a Best Man. THAT breaks my heart. I understand why, and I support it whole-heartedly. But it is a very sad reminder nonetheless. This will be the first major family event since Joey died in July 2006. I think all of this takes its toll when added up. All I can do is go on, but there are still days when I wish the world would just stop turning. It feels like it has, but then again it doesn't. And that is so confusing for my heart at times, even though I cling to the Hope we all do of knowing they are in the presence of God and we will see them again. Why is that so hard for a heart to accept? The human side of it all... reminds me of why I need a Savior. So, I guess that's not all bad.

Well, this is the main reason I haven't posted too much recently. Christmas came and went, along with the great Basket project and then I crashed hard. I hate to think I will bring someone else crashing down. I went through such a period of being encouraging, but I can't seem to get there yet right now. And being here reminds me so much more vividly of "why" I'm here. i'm going through another phase of really hating that!! Please forgive my absence, and know it isn't permanent. It's just a season... I think of you all so often, and do pray for you. It's all I can do sometimes. Much love to you all!! ~Claudia

[msroderskie]

Claudia, I just saw your post and I'll be praying for you.  I have also been having a hard time for the past few months.  I don't know why some years are harder than others.  We just observed the 6th anniversary of Matt's death in February and the 8th anniversary of Phil's death in March.   Though over the years we slowly learn to live with a certain background level of pain, the deep sorrow of having lost a part of yourself can always spout up like Old Faithful anew, when you don't expect it. 

It's really a beautiful gesture that Patrick is making, to leave the "office" of best man absent in honor of his brother.  I feel that you will probably be so glad that he planned it that way.  It's like leaving an extra place at the table for your lost loved one.  Of course, not everyone will have a positive reaction to Patrick's decision, since people handle grief in so many ways.  In the apartment where we lived when Matt died, Matt often left a pair of shoes by the front door, so we've kept a pair of his shoes sitting by our door ever since he died, even though we've moved to another house.   As long as we were in that apartment we kept Matt's room ready for him to come home to, just as it was the night he died, with the light on and the blankets turned down.  There was something comforting about that habit.  We weren't fanatic about it, so when one of the grandkids slept over we used the room for them, but then put it back to Matt-ready when they left. 

I'll pray that the Lord will help you to discover all the ways you can grieve right now, at this time of clouds and rain - figuratively as well as literally. 

Love to you in Christ,  Rody

[fujismum]

Dear Claudia

We have been worried about you. We lost our son's in a similar time frame (2 1/2 years ago) so I have always been mindful of where you are at grief wise. So often you seemed to be in a far more positive place than I ever felt, and often so spiritually accepting of it all. We have switched places for the time being! I am experiencing a new lightness that I thought had gone forever. My sense of humour is creeping back, slowly and surely. I am welcoming Spring instead of seething with bitterness about all the fresh new growth I see around me when my beautiful son is no longer here. And my faith is gaining strength again.

I say this to give you hope of coming out of your fog of grief again. We all travel at our own speed, in and out of pain, praying for healing yet knowing it will forever be a part of us.  Better days still give me a lingering sense of betrayal- is it really OK to feel that life is worth living when our children have died? But we have no choice but to go on and finding a way of living with grief is much better and honouring of our children than being forever crippled by it. Claudia you will come up for air again soon, in the meantime ride the wave of grief , hang on tight to God.

Patrick's plans are bound to be a trigger for painful feelings. I remember our son Tim saying on the very  night Jamie died "who will be my best man man now?". He has a favourite saying that " a brother is natures way of giving you a best friend". I don't know if he made that up or heard it somewhere, but with two sons it was indeed true for us and I think it was for you. Family times will always be particularly bitter sweet- joy for Patrick and pain for what should have been for Joey.

Much love Anne

[fujismum]

Rody, I have to tell you that I find every time you write so humbling.I cannot imagine the pain of losing two treasured sons and the pain that surrounds that. You are very inspiring to many of us. I thought the story of folding back the bed clothes, and the shoes by the door so special. We are always waiting for them to come home aren't we? But now it is reverse really, they are waiting for us to come home- to our eternal home. I seem to live that way now- moving towards an eternal home rather than living life fully here. I guess it is a very biblical principle to fix our sights on things above- probably much easier for us than for others!

Love Anne

[4everjoeysmom]

Anne and Rody, thank you both so much. Anne, you are a light in the darkness that serves to remind us that the dark is temporary, for a season. It may come and go, but it will not last forever. Thank you for that. It's wonderful that you are basking in light and joy. And Rody, I am sorry I did not write an acknowledgment for the boys' passing dates in February and March. but I am certain that they and you were remembered from our calendar and that prayers were lifted for you. Your honesty about where you are right now, (in a darker season) helps me to see the 'realness' of grief--especially since you've been on this journey so long already. It comes and goes in waves, unexpectedly most times. And it doesn't have so much to do with our level of faith, but more just our humanity and how much we long for the promise of God's glory to fill us, to fill the Earth one day. Thank you for representing realness and faith in a way that helps encourages me to be real, to let it flow, and to cry out to the Lord and wonderful supportive Sisters when times are tough.

Joey had been at his dad's for the summer before he passed. They worked together every day, constructing the new horse barn. I remember Joey's dad telling me that he treasured that time, and each day when the work was done, Joey's work boots would sit beside his on the back porch. I remember him telling me that for the longest time he left those boots next to his, and Joey's hat hung on a peg on the wall next to his. He didn't have the heart to remove them. It felt more like Joey would be there soon to put on his boots. I think we all treasure nostalgia and the feeling that it isn't over, really. And having our Faith reminds us continually that it truly isn't over. It's just a season in our journey and theirs--with them having reached the full glory of God, and we here are still journeying toward that. I've never been good at waiting...

I agree that it is so very special that Patrick has left a space empty for Joey. I support him so fully in that choice, as does his dad and everyone who knew and loved Joey and knows and loves Patrick. Really, the only person that does not openly share in our lives and speak of Joey is my brother. The rest of everyone shares memories, laughter, and tears too. I am grateful for that. I know many do not have that kind of family support. All but for my brother, Joey's passing has brought everyone closer. That's a gift.

I am slowly rising out of this pit. I do believe this rainy season has played its part as well in my gloom and doom sadness. A friend of mine in the States is sending a special light to me in June that will help my "mood" during times when lack of sunshine sparks depression. I think that will be helpful.

Thanks so much for reaching out to me. I lift you all in my prayers, and thank God for faithful Sisters like you. God bless you! Love & Hugs!! ~Claudia

[no40corysmom]

Claudia, maybe you can help me limp through the next few months, since you are going through what i am.....my eldest daughter is getting married in a couple months.  It's a destination wedding down in South Carolina.  I find myself trying to get caught up in her excitement, and I'll be carried along for a while.......then the reality will hit me again, that Cory won't be there.  How will we handle family pictures?  I am so afraid I am going to break down and cry knowing that one is missing.....Cory would have had so much fun being there, it will be so wrong in that sense, that he will be missing.   Yet, I must be and am, elated for my daughter.....she is so happy.....aside from her own grief at missing her brother.  She was really a second mother to him, she was 12 when he was born, and she was my helper big time........She got engaged on the very day that Cory left.....

Julie

[4everjoeysmom]

BIG, BIG HUGS, Julie! I know!! Bittersweet... Yes! We'll limp along together...

Are you helping with planning? I am finding some of that is helpful, keeping my mind busy with tiny details. Focusing more on what they want for their wedding details is helping a little... I haven't thought too much about photos, because like you, I know there will be an empty spot... I am trying to imagine the Wedding Feast with Jesus that we will be a part of some day. That is some consolation, because at least we will all (our sons included) be a part of that wedding. Try to imagine that... the grandest of weddings, and NO ONE will be absent.

[shorty16]

Julie,

My heart is so sad for you, but we must go on.  Even though my daughter is not engaged, she talks about Brian not being there for big events like her wedding and her children.  Brian would have been a great uncle.  Greg on the Adult Forum also has a daughter that recently became engaged - He can also help you throught this

Just know that you are not lone.  We are here and God will see you through.  Sure it will be sad, but your daughter is moving into a wonderful part of her life and you can move there with her.

Cory will always be there with you, in your heart and in all our hearts here on BI.

I am thinking and praying for you

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever

[no40corysmom]

What a beautiful visualization........the wedding feast.  Yes, i think that visual will help me.....

She's trying to keep me as involved as she can.....sometimes I'm not too cooperative, which stinks for her......then I try to suck it up and participate, which in the end DOES help me........

We traveled down to the spot in January and met with the caterer, preacher, florist and event planner... so I got to see  what it will be like.  We have reserved our house for the week and I'm making plans what to do while we're there.  For instance my younger daughter and I plan to drive up the coast to Myrtle Beach and ride horses on the beach .......

So a lot to look forward to, really...........

It's just been so hard these last few months. I stopped taking my antidepressant cause I just was too spacey........I think I 'd rather feel the pain then to be in a state of limbo......

I've just had lots of tears and crying.......I miss him so terribly.

I have to say that when we went for my daughter's final dress fitting...oh my goodness.  I did feel a glimmer of joy as she was so beautiful......just for the fitting!

[no40corysmom]

Colleen......thank you SOOOOOO much for your comforting words.  It does often feel that people don't understand, yet I have you all here.........though we don't want to be ... I am so grateful I found you all.........

[4everjoeysmom]

Julie, I'm kind of shocked that i hadn't thought of The Wedding Feast before I sat here to post to you. It's like God "just gave it to me" to share with you, between us friends who need to lift each other up. But I'm kind of excited now, thinking about that visual. It's something to hold onto and to know that it's real and it IS going to happen someday. SO it's kind of like THE PLAN for completing the puzzle and "making up for all that was lost in this life". Though a chair remains empty here, all the chairs will be filled there. I know they are there, in the presence of God's glory and celebrating for us. So when the tears start to well up during the wedding here, I'll try very hard to capture the moment of the future where we will all be celebrating and feasting together...and I pray the Lord will help that to be sufficient grace for the days we have to conquer.

[mom2sarah]

Sisters,  I am so feeling your saddness with hope that will carry you thru these special events of your lives knowing your sons will be missed and should have been part of these naturally.  Its just so backwards to have our young go before us and therein lies the struggle I believe.  But what I have noticed in what I have read from all of you Claudia,Julie and Colleen is in between the lines your finding the positive. 

      I lost our Sarah last Aug 2, 2008 and her being our only child we will never

go thru a wedding feast but I feel a twinge of what it must be like for all of you who

are going thru this bittersweetness.  I am sure your loving heavenly sons want you

to enjoy the celebration of their siblings new unions and will be there in spirit.

     I myself this January was facing a knee replacement surgery and it was my daughter Sarah who encouraged me to do this. It was originally scheduled for Aug 14 08'  but our sweet Sarah pssed away in car accident Aug 2,  12 days before so I rescheduled it.  She wanted so much to be there when I had it done and made arrangements to be off work to be there with her dad when I had it done.

  Right before the rescheduled date of my surgery  I somehow felt her wanting to be there even  in my spirit. I cannot begin to explain but I know she was in my spirit there all the way  thru with my Lord and Savior beside her.  We are separated physically but not spiritually in my opinion and someday we will be fully there without

separation. Glory

   So please know our children in their wait for us are cheering us on in whatever

struggles we are having without them by Gods grace.  I know this helps me once I get out of the grip of hopeless grief about our sweet Sarah.  

 Annie,   I am so relating to your reaction to the change from winter to Spring

as this is my first without Sarah.  I could not get past my deep sorrow and could not understand what was taking me back to the unconsolable grief that I had in the beginning of this tragic loss.  Then it dawned on me as I looked at the trees

budding, full of new life transforming before my eyes. I just wanted to be taken somewhere where there would be no blossoming foilage like a Siberia where I could wrap up war in a cozy home hiding from life.  Did not want to see people coming back out of their homes to socialize and enjoy the new season.  My comfort zone was safe

and hidden in my winter hibernation and that was where I wanted to stay.  Then today God gave me something to remember about my heavenly children (Sarah 27, Amber 9 mths, and the 6 mth pregnancy I lost) When I watch the buds burst into the beautiful colors of Gods earthly arrangements I must know that each of my children upon entering into their Heavenly homes bloomed into such a colorful array of what Gods full potential was designed for them that it would blind my natural eyes to see.  This brought tears of joy for my grieving heart so I can look at spring differently now and though I may flounder away into pits of despair God will be faithful to remind me and lift me up with that thot.

  Its God that created Spring and its God who causes us to change into the beauty

he created us to be in His Kingdom of Wonder.  We will reach our full creative potential

when we enter into his eternal home for  us...I am so excited just imagining this

  Although I have been away for a few months all of you are my soul sisters who

share one of the enormous losses life here will bring.  Our souls are connected wether

we are here or there and I pray for my sisters everyday.  Let us not trust in ordinary things but only want our Jesus and all He has for us becuse hey are truely lasting

Laura

[4everjoeysmom]

Laura, Thanks for your sweet post. I think we all have our down days still. But even through the "rainy season" (literal and figurative), I cling to My Hope and that brings joy to my heart.

Everyone: I have noted several times in recent weeks that I have been in a "silent" stage. While my husband would likely beg to differ (ha, ha), seriously, I haven't been writing and sharing as much as I have been "waiting" and "listening". I feel a shift coming. Last week a dear friend of mine contacted me to say she had been diagnosed with cervical cancer. We talked for a good while over the weekend, and found that God was doing an amazing work through this situation. She has since received a very positive prognosis that hopefully will lead to minimal evasive procedures and a cancer free bill of health within the coming 6 weeks or so. Thank the Lord for answering our prayers! And I am thankful for what he has revealed in this as well.

For some time now I haven't been able to escape the thoughts of one day passing is one day closer to being with Joey. It's like I've forgotten how much here in this life is of value and importance to "be alive". I mean i haven't really wanted to give up and die, but my attitude certainly has wanted to give up on plenty of occasions. My friend's cancer diagnosis seemed like a message from God, saying "The rubber has hit the road! Time to make up your mind! Get busy living, or get busy dying--as my friend quoted this line from the Shawshenk Redemption." And of course, when your own mortality stares you in the face, you have to make a choice. There is no beating around the bush. So in this circumstance, God has shown me just how much I want to "live". I don't mean to just get out of bed each day, do my chores and daily routine, and then go to bed to get up and do it all over again day by day. And I don't mean occasionally getting a burst of energy and doing something, and allowing myself to sit around the rest of the time, moping and generally feeling sad for myself. That isn't really living either. I mean waking up every morning and thanking God, For This Is The Day The Lord Has Made, and make something of it in a way that says to God, "Thank You for giving me another day to live this life." So, yesterday I decided to turn over a new leaf. Today I stumbled already. Wouldn't you know it wouldn't take "the enemy" long to catch wind that I am unleashing a new lease on my life?! But here I am! I am determined that THIS TIME there will be no going back down to the dungeons of despairing feel sorry for myself sabbaticals. I need to live each day for what it is: A Gift From God. My son Patrick bought me a silver bracelet for Christmas 07 that says just that, "Each Day Is A Gift From God". I need to wear that more often!!

So, in this time of silence, God has been speaking to me. And for once, I'm listening--which brings me to close with an RZIM.org devotional I received today, entitled Paying Attention In The Silence.

(It's a little lengthy, but I hope you enjoy!

Love, Claudia)

Paying Attention In Silence

I’ve been paying attention to silence lately, intentionally listening to the sounds of the world around me. I hear the regular rhythm of my dryer, the tapping of my fingers across the keyboard of my computer, the soft patter of my dogs’ feet as they walk across the hardwood floor above me, the screaming and laughter of children at play across the street, and the distinctive sounds of a variety of birds as they go about foraging for food or calling for a mate.

Being able to hear these particular sounds is an unexpected gift, and quite a feat in and of itself, because I am usually bombarded by more artificial noise, from relentless stereo news programs, or the music in my IPod, or perhaps a random television show. Of course, I often drown out the silence by my own busyness, filling my day with constant movement and activity, so that I rarely take the time to pay attention, and to tune my ears not only to the sound around me, but also to the stirrings of my own heart and mind.

During these days before Easter, I made the decision to listen. I have intentionally turned off the noise that is a typical part of my day, so that I can listen to the silence, which of course is not the same as listening to nothing, or hearing nothing. Rather, I am determined to pay attention and listen, really listen to the sounds that are all around me in the silence.

Of course, paying attention in silence is not always as benevolent or delightful as hearing the natural sounds around us. Keeping silence intentionally reminds us of our smallness in a vast universe, and brings to light many of our deepest and darkest thoughts and feelings. When we clear our ears of external noise, we hear our own thoughts. Many thoughts that arise in silent spaces are ugly, distorted, and grave. Listening in silence exposes our pretense and self-righteousness, our falsehoods, hypocrisy and self-importance. There is little room to hide. We are left with ourselves in all our brokenness.

Yet even listening to the thoughts of our darkened hearts and minds provides an opportunity for reorganization and evaluation. It provides the opportunity for rebirth. As we pay attention in silence and listen we can chart new courses, seek new directions, and cultivate hearts open to listening not only to ourselves, but to others and most importantly to God.

In fact, author Alan Jones has written that “silence, in the end, can become a healing and comforting experience.”(1) When we pay attention in the silence, we open up space where we can meet with God. Unlike prayers where we do all the talking, Jones describes prayer as “a daily willingness to place ourselves on the threshold and wait there.” Indeed, he goes on to suggest that prayer becomes an anticipation of and a participation in our deaths, so that new life may be revealed in us. Prayer is the time when we move from the agitated periphery of our lives, identifying with our lives without qualification or added information to simply a silent interior space.(2)

Paying attention in silence is not simply for the sake of listening to the often unheard sounds around us, nor is it exclusively ascetically-motivated sensory deprivation. Instead, it is tuning our hearts and minds to attend to the voice of God in prayer and through prayer. It is removing the typical “noise” from our lives in order that we might intentionally listen and see ourselves in light of God’s presence, holiness, and glory. Indeed, silence is often the only fitting response to the overwhelming holiness of God’s presence. As the ancient prophets wrote: “But the Lord is in his holy temple. Let all the earth be silent before Him” (Habakkuk 2:20). “Be silent, all flesh, before the Lord, for He is aroused from his holy habitation” (Zechariah 2:13).

Paying attention in silence creates space to evaluate our lives and to listen for God to speak. It is a discipline our noisy world needs to reclaim. The gospel writers often speak of Jesus removing himself from the noise of his day, and withdrawing to “lonely places” for prayer (Mark 6:30; Matthew 13:14). Jesus understood the place of silence, paying attention to God’s voice by purposefully withdrawing and turning off the noise around him. The silence is often lonely, as the gospel writers suggest. And yet, there, in the lonely, silent spaces, the still, small voice of God can be heard.

By: Margaret Manning--a member of the speaking and writing team at Ravi Zacharias International Ministries in Seattle, Washington.

(1) Alan Jones, Soul Making (San Francisco: HarperOne, 1985), 62.

(2) Ibid.

[no40corysmom]

Laura, that was a very sweet post, thank you.  and thank you Claudia, for sharing your post.......

I was just going to say that I have been having trouble with spring too.......almost feeling like it is not supposed to be happening!!!

Yet, spring is truly a reminder of God's plan for our lives, from death we arise to new life -- beautiful, fresh and glorious.  When I think of that....then I can be happy for our children experiencing it now even as we speak........It helps me alot.

The birds singing too...really does lift my heart.......

 

Julie

[wyomingsal]

Good Morning all,

I haven't been writing much but I still visit and read.  I am leaving for Las Vegas tomorrow for an ultrasound class I am taking.  Taveling away from my family is always tuff because I seem to think about missing Joshua even more when I am away from my living children.  But I am also excited to learn take this class.  I am studying to become and RDMS or registered sonographer for the pregnancy center I work for.  I have to get going taking kids to basketball and cheerleading this morning.  God's peace and renewal upon you all this week,

Sally

[4everjoeysmom]

A devotional on the Via Dolorosa:

The Way of Suffering

His final hours were spent in prayer. Yet the Gospel of Luke tells us that there was nothing unusual about him being in prayer. “And he came out and proceeded as was his custom to the Mount of Olives...and when he arrived at the place...he withdrew from them...and knelt down and began to pray” (22:39-41). As was his custom, he would go to pray. We do not often hear the content of these prayer times, but in this case, in these final hours, we see him gripped with passion. Luke tells us that he was in such agony that his sweat “became like drops of blood” (22:44). Medical science surmises that under extreme conditions of duress, capillaries in the head burst forth drops of blood literally pouring out of the skin like perspiration. Whatever the case, Jesus had never been in this much distress before--even in his wilderness testing--we have no other portrait of such extreme duress in prayer.

“And being in agony he was praying very fervently.” I’ve often wondered about the nature of these agonized prayers. Was Jesus in agony over the physical torture and death he was about to endure? Was he in agony over the spiritual condition of his disciples, one who would betray him and the others who would all abandon him in his time of need? Certainly, the latter is a real possibility as he exhorts his disciples at least two times to “watch and pray that you might not enter into temptation” (Luke 22:40; 46). I’m sure he prayed fervently because of both of these reasons.

Whatever the reason for his agony, Jesus’s humanity was on full display in his prayer. He did not want to walk the path that was unfolding before him, and he pleads with God to provide an alternative path, a “plan B” as it were. Matthew’s gospel reveals more of his struggle. He tells his disciples “I am deeply grieved, to the point of death” Then he prays to his Father, “if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; yet not as I will, but your will be done” (Matthew 26:38-39). The way of suffering unfolded before him and he would go to his death, despite his anguished prayers for another way.

As I meditate on Jesus’s passionate prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane, his human agony and suffering on full display, I am reminded how often we followers of Jesus also long for God to provide another way for us as well in the face of our own suffering. We do not want to follow Jesus down the via dolorosa, the way of suffering. We seek to follow the victorious entry of the Messiah into Jerusalem to be enthroned and crowned the king. We want that kind of victory borne out in our lives as the absence of difficulty. We want the glory and the grandeur of Palm Sunday as our entry into eternal life with as little pain and suffering as possible. But as author Kim Reisman has noted, “[T]hat is not the Jesus way. God doesn’t dispense with death. God resurrects us from it. The truth is that the Jesus way isn’t about God taking pain away from God’s people; it’s about God providing us with strength, courage, and meaning, with abundant life, often in the midst of pain.”(1)

I am always thankful then, for this very human portrait of Jesus struggling with his own suffering in agony. For I know he shares my own struggle. And while I often reluctantly say to God, “Not my will but yours be done,” I put my faith in the God who transforms the evil of suffering and affliction into salvation and death into life for all who believe.

By: Margaret Manning, a member of the speaking and writing team at Ravi Zacharias International Ministries in Seattle, Washington. (RZIM.org)

(1) Kimberly Dunnam Reisman, Following At a Distance (Nashville: Abingdon Press, 2005), 75.

[no40corysmom]

Beautiful, beautiful post........thank you for sharing.

 

I am always thankful then, for this very human portrait of Jesus struggling with his own suffering in agony. For I know he shares my own struggle. And while I often reluctantly say to God, “Not my will but yours be done,” I put my faith in the God who transforms the evil of suffering and affliction into salvation and death into life for all who believe.

 

I had my own epiphany the other day.........Since the first long nights since Cory left, I felt that my own pain I was feeling was miniscule to what the Lord felt as He bore our shame and sorrow on the cross.  Last night, it really hit me what that meant:

Isaiah 53:4  Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.

Now I can understand how it is He is with me (us) during this time of our sorrow...He already experienced it!!  He already felt it, lived it........and it died with Him, and when He rose, He is alive, and through His spirit living in us, we can know our children live!!!

[no40corysmom]

awww!! I just saw this, have ya'll seen this yet?

 

[hotrod]

Thank YOu Claudia for that beautiful post regarding Jesus's suffering in the Garden before he faced his final trial. 

Lately, I have been focusing on his mother Mary, who like all of us had to stand on the sidelines and walk his final journey with him. 

His Mother felt the same pain we all have felt and so I find much solace knowing that she showed courage and faith at those final hours.

I pray often for that faith and courage to continue living my life in a constructive way I am beginnnig to see much of my sorrow lifted and so many good and happy memories of my son flooding my mind.  I will always miss his beautiful smile and spirit but now when I see nature or a small animal or so many things that   touched his spirit, I can smile and remember his happiness and enjoy the moment.  

For me that is a huge miracle

[4everjoeysmom]

Hotrod and Cory's Mom, YES!! It is definitely a miracle when we can "see them alive" and know it with all our hearts. It is definitely a miracle when we obtain the light in the dark and by having that it truly changes the way we see things. That's the miracle of Christ and the Promise of God. Last year, on the journey of Lent to Easter is when I truly understood for the very first time the very personal implications of Jesus' Resurrection. Before, it was a beautiful story. I believed it with all my heart, but i couldn't grasp the fullness of it in a personal way. Now..well, now it's profound. And because Christ rose from the dead, I know Joey did too...not in the same way here on Earth, but in an eternal state with Christ and all the saints gone before him, and the angels. It's a beautiful vision, really. And as a Believer, it's my life's treasure, to know that where Joey is, is my same destiny. It encourages me, because while the journey here in this life has been made more challenging and more painful, it will not last forever--not even close to forever. And because Joey and I weren't exactly seeing eye to eye, Ive struggled with not being able to work on that in this life. But what encourages me and fills me with comfort and hope is the fact that it doesn't matter, truly. Joey now knows completely the things he did not understand in this life. he knows a heck of a lot more than I do...something he always tried to convince me of while he was here, (but of course, it wasn't true then. LOL!)

Insight into the things of God is a true blessing for us. Unfortunately, we often spend a period of time in our grief when we are more comfortable in our pain and resentment toward God for having taken them from us, so we miss the vision. But God being a merciful God, He doesn't give up on us. He keeps wooing us toward Him and toward the eternal Hope that only he can fill us with. All of that leads to Christ. And He is the One we will gather with for eternity. He is the One who calls us to be One Body. he is the One who calls us HOME. And aren't we privileged to have such a HOME?! Our children are there already...HOME already. It is our HOME too. It waits for us. And the only thing that separates us is our flesh and life here. We do NOT have to be in a hurry to get there, because it will ALWAYS be there waiting for us. It's not like we must hurry up or miss our chance. And it will not seem so long to those who are already there. They celebrate for us, and they celebrate for each life we touch here with that Hope. And won't it be a wonderful reunion??!! But in the meantime, isn't it a wonderful vision seeing our children fully alive with Jesus?! There was no waiting to get there for them..no holding cell. Jesus took them by the hand at that last breath, and they went HOME. HOME is beautiful. HOME is safe. HOME is filled with the glory of God. HOME is something we always strove to provide for our babies, but in it's full perfection, we could never obtain. Of course we would rather have not had to give them up to Our Eternal Home so soon, and especially not before we would be there waiting for them. But in truth, our children bless us each day by giving us a very real grasp on HOME and eternal life. I am SO THANKFUL for that. I am SO THANKFUL for HOPE and the promise of God through Jesus Christ. It is THIS that truly makes living this life worthwhile, despite the painful sufferings we endure.

So as we journey through this-coming Holy Week, in the way to Easter and the remembrance of what Jesus did for us, let us truly rejoice in His Resurrection. Because He lives, our children live, and so can we!!

Much love and blessing to you, my sisters in Christ and my friends in suffering, ~Claudia

[4everjoeysmom]

Cory's Mom, Today's devotional speaks to the very message you posted before regarding the words of Isaiah...

Holy Ground

“Prosperity, pleasure, and success may be rough of grain and common in fibre, but sorrow is the most sensitive of all created things.”

Those are the words of the famed pleasure seeker, Oscar Wilde. In his De Profundis, written in prison, he wrote with profound earnestness about how much sorrow had taught him. He went on to add, “Where there is sorrow there is holy ground. Some day people will realize what that means. They will know nothing of life till they do.”

As I reflect on those words, I take note first of the one who wrote them. A life of pain was the farthest thing from his mind when he made his choices. In that sense, none of us ever really choose sorrow. But I take note of something else in his words. His claim is bold; he is not merely confessing an idea written across his worldview, but one he insists is written across the world: Sorrow is holy ground and those who do not learn to walk there know nothing of what living means. What he means at the very least is that some of life’s most sacred truths are learned in the midst of sorrow. He learned, for example, that raw unadulterated pleasure for pleasure’s sake is never a fulfilling pleasure. Violation of the sacred in the pursuit of happiness is not truly a source of happiness. In fact, it kills happiness because it can run roughshod over many a victim. Pleasure that profanes is pleasure that destroys.

Sorrow on the other hand--while never pursued--comes into one’s life and compels us to see our own finitude and frailty. It demands of us seriousness and tenderness if we are to live life the way it is meant to be lived. One of the most important things sorrow does is to show us what it needs and responds to. Wilde said it himself: “Sorrow is a wound that bleeds when any hand but that of love touches it, and even then must bleed again, though not in pain.”

Of all the descriptions given about Jesus, there is one that unabashedly stands out to confront us. It is a description uttered by the prophet Isaiah, prodding mind and heart at once: “He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief. Like one from whom men hide their faces; he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted” (53:3). In this season of Easter before us, with whatever sorrows we might be holding, it is a description all the more fitting to reflect upon.

Maybe you are at a time in your life when hurt is writ large upon your thoughts. The Lord Jesus is not unacquainted with your pain. In fact, he draws near particularly with a hand of love. Your wound may still bleed for a while to remind you of your weakness. But he can help carry the pain to carry you in strength. This could indeed be holy ground for you. It was most certainly for him.

By: Ravi Zacharias, founder and president of Ravi Zacharias International Ministries. (RZIM.org)

[Kelly]

Guess who is traveling the farthest to our reunion?

It's Trudi.

Trudi is traveling all the way from Australia to Minneapolis, MN for our Beyond Indigo reunion in August!

If Trudi can make it, so can you! 

Come check our reunion page: http://www.beyondindigo.com/reunion/

Hope to see you there!

[4everjoeysmom]

I would like to ask everyone to lift up Dawn Fisher (our BI moderator and friend) in thoughts and prayers. Dawn's husband had been undergoing treatment at John's Hopkins in Baltimore and was awaiting admittance into their rehab program. JD had some complications with anesthesia and drugs that were administered to treat him about and very unfortunately and unexpectedly died yesterday early morning. Dawn is very broken-hearted, as are their surviving four children. Let us all come together and lift Dawn and her family up in this terribly difficult painful time.

We love you, Dawn! ~Claudia

[Kelly]

The family and friends of Beyond Indigo would like let everyone know that Dawn Fisher (moderator of the Beyond Indigo message boards) lost her husband on Wednesday morning.  JD's death was an unexpected complication of surgery to remove a tumor.  Our most heartfelt condolences go out to Dawn and her children.  We know that there is no better place for Dawn to receive support than through these boards.

The online obituary for JD is here: http://fisherfamilyfuneralhomes.com/obits/obituaries.php/obitID/307941

If you'd like to send her condolences, you could send her a private message on the boards, visit the above obituary and sign the guest book (starting on Friday) or send materials to

Fisher Funeral Chapel & Cremation Services

1801 Chase Road

Logansport, IN 46947

[mom2sarah]

Found this on another grief forum and I think this dear mother got it "spot" on

What is Normal after your child dies?

Normal is having tears waiting behind every smile when you realize someone important is missing from all the important events in your

family's life.

Normal is trying to decide what to take to the cemetery for Birthdays, X-mas, Thanksgiving, New Years, Valentine's Day, July 4th.

Normal is feeling like you can't sit another minute without getting up and screaming, because you just don't like to sit through anything anymore.

Normal is not sleeping very well because a thousand what if's & why didn't I's go through your head constantly.

Normal is reliving the accident continuously through your eyes and mind, holding your head to make it go away.

Normal is having the TV on the minute you walk into the house to have noise, because the silence is deafening.

Normal is staring at every boy who looks like he is my sons age. And then thinking of the age he'd would be now. Then wondering why it is even important to imagine it, because it will never happen.

Normal is every happy event in your life always being backed up with

sadness lurking close behind, because of the hole in your heart.

Normal is telling the story of your child's death as if it were

an everyday, commonplace activity, and then seeing the horror in

someone's eyes at how awful it sounds. And yet realizing it has

become a part of your "normal."

Normal is each year coming up with the difficult task of how to honor your childs's memory and their birthdays and survive these days. And trying to find the balloon or flag that fit's the occasion. Happy Birthday? Not really.

Normal is my heart warming and yet sinking at the sight of something special he would have loved. Thinking how he would love it, but how he is not here to enjoy it.

Normal is having some people afraid to mention my son. Normal is making sure that others remember him.

Normal is after the funeral is over everyone else goes on with their lives, but we continue to grieve our loss forever.

Normal is weeks, months, and years after the initial shock, the grieving gets worse, not better.

Normal is not listening to people compare anything in their life to this loss, unless they too have lost a child. Nothing compares.

NOTHING.

Even if your child is in the remotest part of the earth away from you - it doesn't compare.

Losing a parent is horrible, but having to bury your own child is unnatural.

Normal is taking pills, and trying not to cry all day, because you know your mental health depends on it.

Normal is realizing you do cry everyday.

Normal is being impatient with everything and everyone but someone stricken with grief over the loss of their child.

Normal is sitting at the computer crying, sharing how you feel with chat buddies who have also lost a child.

Normal is not listening to people make excuses for G-d.

"G-d may have done this because?"

I would like to believe that my son is in "heaven," but hearing people trying to think up excuses as to why a fantastic young man was taken from this earth is not appreciated and makes absolutely no sense to this grieving mother.

Normal is being too tired to care if you paid the bills, cleaned the house, did the laundry or if there is any food.

Normal is wondering this time whether you are going to say you have two children or one child, because you will never see this person again and it is not worth explaining that my son is dead.

And yet when you say you have one child to avoid that problem, you feel horrible as if you have betrayed the dead child.

Normal is asking G-d why he took your child's life instead of yours and asking if there even is a G-d.

Normal is knowing you will never get over this loss, not in a day nor a million years.

Normal is having therapists agree with you that you will never "really" get over the pain and that there is nothing they can do to help you because they know only bringing back your child back from the dead could possibly make it "better."

Normal is learning to lie to everyone you meet and telling them you are fine. You lie because it makes others uncomfortable if you cry. You've learned it's easier to lie to them then to tell them the truth that you still feel empty and it's probably never going to get any better -- ever.

And last of all...

Normal is hiding all the things that have become "normal" for you to

feel, so that everyone around you will think that you are "normal."

[Kelly]

Hi all,

We are getting down to five weeks to find out if we can hold the reunion or not. Could you please let us know if you will be attending and register online? We need 25 people total. This is an amazing opportunity to make something special happen. Just click the big banner at the top that says REUNION and follow the steps.

Love to hear from you.

Kelly

[no40corysmom]

[user=16030]4everjoeysmom[/user] wrote:

Julie, I'm kind of shocked that i hadn't thought of The Wedding Feast before I sat here to post to you. It's like God "just gave it to me" to share with you, between us friends who need to lift each other up. But I'm kind of excited now, thinking about that visual. It's something to hold onto and to know that it's real and it IS going to happen someday. SO it's kind of like THE PLAN for completing the puzzle and "making up for all that was lost in this life". Though a chair remains empty here, all the chairs will be filled there. I know they are there, in the presence of God's glory and celebrating for us. So when the tears start to well up during the wedding here, I'll try very hard to capture the moment of the future where we will all be celebrating and feasting together...and I pray the Lord will help that to be sufficient grace for the days we have to conquer.

Claudia, I wanted to come back and let you know how things went.......

If my daughter's wedding is even a very small glimpse of the wedding feast we will ALL enjoy ~ well, all I can say is we truly have something to look forward to.

The wedding was absolutely beautiful.......I knew my daughter did not want anybody to be "down" or anything, she really wanted to have her day shine.  So I prayed for God to give me the grace to get through the day in a way that would glorify Him.  I purposely did not let myself "go there" and think about Cory or allow myself to feel the pain of missing him.....I just focused on my daughter's joy and happiness.  It really did all go very well.  She had a song played dedicated to him, we chose "How Great Thou Art", and I did let  the tears come then.....but then, I chose to put them aside and just focus on my daughter and new son-in-law.  Being busy with getting things done, etc. helped also.  We all felt Cory in our hearts and it was though he was there with us, but we just could not see him.  I believe God really did shower down mercy and love on all of us, it was a blessed occasion.

I hope your son's wedding (it is your other son, right?) goes just as well and that you can focus you love on his special day and know that Joey is right there with you in spirit and in all of your hearts.

Julie

[4everjoeysmom]

Hi Julie,

Your post means more to me than you can imagine...well, you probably can. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING. I have hope, and I am encouraged greatly by the vision you just gave me of how you did it, and how it will be blessed and beautiful for my wonderful son Patrick and his beautiful bride. And yes! Joey will be with us all.

God bless you Friend! HUGS and so much love... ~Claudia

[no40corysmom]

Here is one of the first pictures.....my daughter and her new husband's kiss.

 

 

[4everjoeysmom]

Beautiful Photo! My son is having a beach wedding too!! If your daughter doesn't mind you sharing, I would love to view her wedding photos on the photography site. If it's OK, private message me in how I can see them.

Thanks My Friend! You sent me a "pick me up" at just the right time.

[no40corysmom]

You got it!  As soon as they are available I  will pm them to you!!  I can't wait to see them......We have only a few that some friends took right now. Oh, I will pm you their wedding site!!

[dawnray]

mom2sarah - that sums it all up and it really lets us all know that we are not the only ones who feel that way and it makes us feel like we are not going crazy for feeling that way. If that makes sense.  thank you for posting that.

 

                                                                              Dawn (EJ`s Mom)

[no40corysmom]

Seventeen years ago today, at 2:02 pm EDT, the Lord blessed me with a beautiful bouncing 9 lb. baby boy......  His beautiful brown eyes found mine and his father's right away.....then he pee'd in his father's face !  :shock:

Cory enriched our lives with his unique, individual self.  I used to all him an "anamoly" because he always walked to the beat of his own drum.  Cory made us laugh, made us thoughtful, made us aware, and made us understand what love truly means. 

I also called him "Casanova" because he had so many girls after him.....I don't believe he ever realized the effect he had on the girls.....He made friends with everybody and was in no particular crowd.  His friends included athletes, nerds, good looking kids and nobodys.  Cory did'n't care about your background, only about *you*.  Not to say he would't say it like it was.......If he thought you needed to hear it......he said it.

I miss my baby boy..........

Philip. 4: 4Rejoice in the Lord always: and again I say, Rejoice.

 5Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand.

 6Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.

 7And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

 8Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

[4everjoeysmom]

Love those Scripture verses Julie! I'm celebrating Cory with you!!! Hugs, Claudia

[mpsmom]

[align=center]Happy Heavenly Birthday Cory !![/align]

[align=center]Hugs, [/align]

[align=center]Marcia            Bethany's Mom Forever [/align]

[align=center] [/align]

[align=left]My prayers are with your family on this day. [/align]

[align=left] [/align]

[no40corysmom]

[nicksdad]

[align=left]Happy Birthday

CORY[/align]

[dawnray]

Happy Birthday Cory !!!

                        Dawn (EJs Mom)

                       

[no40corysmom]

you guys are wonderful!! (((((HUGS!!!!!!!)))))))))))))))

[mom2sarah]

Hi again to all,

   I am so sorry I have not been a everyday poster but that does not mean I am not thinking about you and your children everyday.  I know their stories, your heartaches,

and know your sorrow.  So far the only good thing I have found that came from my tragic loss of our dear Sarah is all of you.  Mayby some day I'll find other good things from losing her from our life here but I really feel at this time we were robbed.

  I do find comfort in Gods grace that saved her for eternity and long for the day

I will feel her and see her again.  As I am bound by time I will have to wait and that is hard. Everything that happens around me now seems so trivial now.  The economy,

GM (my employer) going bankrupt, and being told a family member, who I once trusted, has said lies about me don't really phase me anymore. I guess you must have to lose the most precious gifts from God to really understand that as I am sure all you do know. 

  I am just venting as I fight back my tears because I miss her so much. Don't get me wrong I do have good days, even weeks, and then I breakdown and cry. 

  I do hope I haven't opened anyones wounds as there seems to be allot

of happy times that you have shared here lately. I am happy for your lives being upbeat as I am sure mine will be too. So I will smile with you for the good times

Huggs

Laura

Happy Birthday Cory in your forever home Heaven

[4everjoeysmom]

Hi Laura,

Your sharing is precious, no matter if you are having an up day or a down day. Something is said about Believers who are there for one another, no matter what we are going through. It's called "standing in the gap". I like to think that if any of us are having a tough time, we can lift one another up in encouragement, love and prayer. We aren't here to fix one another, but rather to do that very thing--stand in the gap when another hurts or has need.

After nearly 3 years, I still have tearful days of "missing" my Just-Joey. I know you miss your Sarah-Smile no less. And time won't make that missing go away. It will only soften the tears from time to time and allow us glimmers and more of Light for our onward journey. Jesus knows we are broken. Jesus has compassion for the hurting. He is NOT judgmental. Therefore, neither should anyone else be. Ah...in a perfect world, no? SO we march onward, sharing our pain and sorrow, and our times of conquering darkness and feeling encouraged. This is called living, and it isn't always easy. But between sisters and kindred spirited friends, we at least do not journey onward alone. We share, through good and bad, and we keep on loving despite the pain.

I can think of many things pleasant that have happened since Joey has gone. Some are related to his not being here, and much more is unrelated. Finding joy again is a challenge, because our children are our hearts. I think sometimes we place too much emphasis on trying to find joy as a result of having lost our child, thus placing more meaning in why they had to go in the first place. Reality for me is that being in Christ brings joy--sometimes related to being a mom, but most often related to just being a daughter of the King. He loves us, and he loves our children. And though time separates us and our child, the love of Christ keeps us wholly and holy bound to them. I find comfort in that thought---knowing that there are moments (when I am fully in worship of Him) that I am doing the same thing as my son is doing in the moment-fully worshiping Him.

Joy is a curious thing. I had a discussion with a young lady who is staying 6 months with me, who also has suffered many trials. We were talking about joy and her disappointment that in her 23 years she has yet to feel that knock-you-socks-off-elated-joy. We lean on our emotions too often for understanding. Sometimes it can be so subtle--like the certain song of a bird, or the way the wind whistles. Maybe it's the sound of waves slapping the shore, or the sound of church bells off in the distance. It could be a hug, or snuggling my son's first teddy bear. These things can make me pensive and sad. But they also can bring momentary joy. Keeping and holding the joy, in my opinion, is more challenging than the thought of never finding joy again. Because I do have moments of joy that give me pause to be encouraged that it still is there for me. It just looks and sounds and feels different. It has taken new form and meaning. But I think it's supposed to, as we journey closer to the heart of our God in the midst of our pain. Our joy comes more when we think upon the eternal rather than on the things of this world. In a biblical sense, Paul essentially did say that we ought to think on the eternal more. In retrospect, I never thought much on the eternal before Joey crossed over to his eternal life. Now I think on it all the time--Not in the way that I want to die right now. But I have vision, and a deeper understanding or insight into what is of importance and what is not, and what is eternal and what is temporal. So I believe in some way, even though what we've come through is like a living hell, it also has broadened our eyes' vision and our hearts' desires into matters of God, matters of the eternal, and matters of mercy and grace. When I think of how much I have grown through this, it makes me sad for the cause which has brought me to this growing change. But it also brings me joy in knowing that I am ever becoming who God has chosen me to be...more like His heart, more like who our children are now--perfected in His grace and glory.

May joy find you, dear Laura, in the least expected places and ways.

Love,

Claudia

[no40corysmom]

may our Lord bless you Claudia.......you are woman being used by God in a powerful way!!

[msroderskie]

I have not posted in so long, and only have a few moments since it's very late, but I want to join everyone in saying Happy (belated) Birthday to Cory!  He was and is a special young man.

We also recently celebrated the birth of my son Phil, who would have been 29 this year.  I can't believe he's been gone for more than 8 years. 

Claudia, as always you said it so well.  Our joy can grow, but there will always be a bittersweet element in it.  It can be a real struggle to be willing to open up again to joy in our lives.  Also, as you said, the eternal becomes all that's important once we've lost a child.  As one preacher put it recently, "One hundred years from now THIS [the Gospel] is all that's going to matter to you!"  We are so easily distracted from the priorities God gives us.  Lord help us in our ignorance and weakness!

Claudia, I pray that the wedding will be a joyful celebration and a glory to the God who created us.  I hope it's a great blessing to your whole family.  Is this taking place in June?

I would ask for prayer because of a new wave of grief that I'm going through.  I think there are unplumbed depths of pain that I've postponed for years now, because of the complexity of this double grief.  Thanks ahead of time for any moment of prayer you may utter on my behalf.  Who better to ask than all of you?

I pray God will bless us, all my bereaved sisters and brothers.

Love, Rody

[mom2sarah]

Compassionate Claudia,

     `Again, you have been here for me in my pain helping me up in the most compassionate way.  Thank God for you, Claudia, as you have said just the right thing to my heart and all our hearts when you sensitive eyes see our needs.  I thank God for you all the time as you were the one God sent to me when my guts were ripped

out me.  I want you to know how much I love you for being here for me.  You always make me feel so much better by saying just the right thing my heart needs to hear.

     I am so happy that your precious Patrick will be celebrating his love thru marrige

to the love of his life.  I just know they will be a example of Christ's love in their marital relationship.  I know too that you will see Just Joey in this new union in

different ways.  I don't know how but even if God opens a window in Heaven for Joey

to watch, Joey will be there in spirit at the wedding.  God Bless that wonderful day

Hugs

Laura

[no40corysmom]

I will pray for you Rody......may God bless you in unspeakable ways.......

 

Julie

[4everjoeysmom]

Laura, Hugs back to you, Dear Sister! It's such a great "joy" and honor to receive affirmation that the Lord has used me to stand in the gap for a dear Sister. Truly!

Julie, I appreciate YOU so much!!!! The Lord has used you to speak to me in glorious ways these past months as well. Thank you for your obedience in Christ that has touched me so deeply, giving me hope and strength to carry me through Patrick's wedding journey. I do believe The Best Man will be there with us on that beautiful October day, filling our hearts with his song and memory.

Rody, Another dear Sister in the Lord, hurting so much. You are most certainly lifted in my prayers. I have thought and prayed for you so often through these past months, knowing special days have come and gone that mark bittersweet of memories and tears. I pray that our compassionate Lord shower you with extra portions of His love and mercy as you unpack your compounded and complicated grief to new levels. Though it be another wave cresting over your lamp, I pray that we, by the grace of Our Lord, can fill your light to the point of being waterproof, sealed with His promise that this too shall pass. And on the other side of this storm is the Victory in Him that has been ours all along, with us, through it all. Love You Dear Sister!!! HUGS! ~Claudia