Members Popular Post John9 Posted September 2, 2022 Author Members Popular Post Report Share Posted September 2, 2022 1 hour ago, Lost7 said: Please keep trying. My husband and I had this talk many times...that when one of us dies the other would continue to live.....I am 6 years older than him and always thought I would go first. Imagine my shock when COVID took him at the age of 54. I know what I promised but it is so hard. I push every second of the day.,.this holiday weekend is going to be rough! Lost7 Lost7, I am not sure if I said it to you, if I did I will again. Sorry for your loss. I was 8 years older than my loving wife when she died too soon and too young at 53. I too thought that I would be the first to go, but because my loving wife died suddenly and unexpectedly we had never really talked about what the other "should" do. We figured we would just grow old together and die together like her Grandparents did. Weekends were our time and now every one hurts, but yes the special ones now hurt worse because it was usually a time for company to visit. I hope that this weekend isn't too hard for you or anyone else for that matter. Take care, John 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members John9 Posted September 2, 2022 Author Members Report Share Posted September 2, 2022 1 hour ago, April Ballou said: Not sure how but Wednesday it will be 2 years since the love of my life died. Time has flown by. I'm still making it day by day. April, I hope that you know we are here for you if you need to chat on Wednesday. I do know how hard all of these events are, even though we are each on our own path or journey. I am at almost 18 months and I don't find that the time has passed quickly at all. That may be because of everything else that I have gone through and continue to go through. But that is my journey and sadly it has been pure Hell and so much loneliness. Take care, John 22 hours ago, Mandmforlife said: I'm sorry it took so long for me to respond. I've been in and out of substance abuse places trying to get my life together. I am very sorry to hear about your wife. I'm beginning to learn that we are definitely going to have grief for a heck of a lot longer than I would like to. Mandmforlife, Thank you for the comment, I am glad that you are seeking help and I hope that it works for you. But yes this seems to be a very long journey and we each have our own path to take. take care, John 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members April Ballou Posted September 2, 2022 Members Report Share Posted September 2, 2022 @John9 thank you. Yes the loneliness is the hardest part. I guess I have to get us to it. I don't see anyone coming into my life. @Sim7079 thank you. I went through that back in July. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Lost7 Posted September 2, 2022 Members Report Share Posted September 2, 2022 Thank you KayC Lost7 Thank you @John9If I haven't said it previously I am so very sorry for the loss of your beautiful wife. I pray that this weekend won't be too hard on you either. Please accept those virtual hug. Lost7 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Lost7 Posted September 2, 2022 Members Report Share Posted September 2, 2022 April I will be lifting you up Wednesday. Please know that I check the forum almost daily if I can chat with you to get you through it. Virtual hugs to you sweetie. Lost7 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members April Ballou Posted September 2, 2022 Members Report Share Posted September 2, 2022 Thanks so much @Lost7 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Popular Post KayC Posted September 6, 2022 Moderators Popular Post Report Share Posted September 6, 2022 @John9 Thinking of you...hang in there. I know it gets tough, but we're here for you. Today is my D-day...going to gastroenterologist about tongue/throat issue I've had two years Christmas. Praying it's not the C-word! I don't even care if I have to live with this, just want to rule that out...I have no support, no one. I'm scared. The hospital is 1 1/2 hours away, leaving here at 8-8:15 am. Won't be home until mid afternoon as I have to get gas and groceries on the way home so my friend is getting Kodie at noon, after her appt. with her client. Pray for me. Didn't sleep well, blood sugar up from stress. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members April Ballou Posted September 6, 2022 Members Report Share Posted September 6, 2022 @KayC praying for you today. 10 years ago I had a motorcycle wreck. I broke my left leg, my left pelvis, and my left wrist. I spent 5 weeks in the hospital, just to come home in a wheelchair. 2 weeks before Christmas I was able to get out of the wheelchair. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members John9 Posted September 6, 2022 Author Members Report Share Posted September 6, 2022 2 hours ago, KayC said: @John9 Thinking of you...hang in there. I know it gets tough, but we're here for you. Today is my D-day...going to gastroenterologist about tongue/throat issue I've had two years Christmas. Praying it's not the C-word! I don't even care if I have to live with this, just want to rule that out...I have no support, no one. I'm scared. The hospital is 1 1/2 hours away, leaving here at 8-8:15 am. Won't be home until mid afternoon as I have to get gas and groceries on the way home so my friend is getting Kodie at noon, after her appt. with her client. Pray for me. Didn't sleep well, blood sugar up from stress. KayC, I do hope that whatever has been bothering you, can be treated/resolved finally. I understand in my own way how hard things are with no real support. As I have said our Son "lives" with me, but I barely see him and he hardly talks to me unless he wants or needs something. I said to my neighbor the other day that I actually talked to him more when he was living in his Grandmothers house. I am sorry that this stress messed up your sleep and raised your blood sugar. Stress is just not good for our health issues. Please know that as you say for us, we will be here for you as well. Keep us posted, whenever you can. Take care, John 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Popular Post Robert D. Posted September 6, 2022 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted September 6, 2022 KayC - praying to the Lord for you.....be safe....know that we are all here thinking of you....wanting this all to work out for you....!! God bless!! 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sparky1 Posted September 6, 2022 Members Report Share Posted September 6, 2022 Kay, I pray and hope that everything goes well for you. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members NiquesMom Posted September 6, 2022 Members Report Share Posted September 6, 2022 KayC, hoping you get an answer. I believe knowing is easier than worrying about the "what if?" I am very good at spiraling down rabbit holes, so I hope you get much needed information. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Popular Post April Ballou Posted September 7, 2022 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted September 7, 2022 @Sim7079 thank you. I need all the hugs I can get. 1 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted September 7, 2022 Moderators Report Share Posted September 7, 2022 @April Ballou Thinking of you today, dear friend and holding you in my thoughts and prayers! Thank you all for your thoughts and well wishes yesterday...will post more about it in my thread... 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members April Ballou Posted September 7, 2022 Members Report Share Posted September 7, 2022 @KayC thank you I need all the prayers I can get 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members John9 Posted September 7, 2022 Author Members Report Share Posted September 7, 2022 April Ballou, I am thinking of you today and I hope you are okay, as much as any of us are anymore. Take care, John 2 hours ago, KayC said: Thank you all for your thoughts and well wishes yesterday...will post more about it in my thread... I hope you are okay. Not sure where your thread is. Take care, John 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Lost7 Posted September 7, 2022 Members Report Share Posted September 7, 2022 John9 I just want to say you are so kind in your post. Thank you for your thoughtfulness.....we all need it. Sincerely grateful Lost7 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members NiquesMom Posted September 7, 2022 Members Report Share Posted September 7, 2022 April, please know you and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers. I have always found it amazing how time can be both fast and slow. Like its amazing that it has been almost 5 years since my daughter died, 23 since my mom died. It doesn't feel like it, some days it feels like it was just yesterday. And yet here we are. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members April Ballou Posted September 7, 2022 Members Report Share Posted September 7, 2022 Thank you @John9and @NiquesMom. I really appreciate the support. A friend of mine spent part of the day with me and I will go to church to finish my day off. I feel the love and support from everyone. 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members John9 Posted September 7, 2022 Author Members Report Share Posted September 7, 2022 37 minutes ago, NiquesMom said: I have always found it amazing how time can be both fast and slow. Like its amazing that it has been almost 5 years since my daughter died, 23 since my mom died. It doesn't feel like it, some days it feels like it was just yesterday. And yet here we are. NiquesMom, I agree about the passage of time. My loving wife and I were together for 35 years, married for 34 years. That time seems as if it was so quick, and the time since she died, seems like forever. It will be 18 months on Monday and I just don't know how I am still here. Take care, John 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted September 8, 2022 Moderators Report Share Posted September 8, 2022 9 hours ago, John9 said: Not sure where your thread is. 1 hour ago, John9 said: It will be 18 months on Monday and I just don't know how I am still here. I felt that way too...here I am 17 years later, no idea how. It feels like a life sentence at times. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted September 9, 2022 Moderators Report Share Posted September 9, 2022 @John9 I don't know when I'll be back online as my laptop died and they've started evacuating... Entire town Oakridge & Westfir under evacuation 1...pack and be ready to go. I am at the top of the green area, closest to the fire. I will likely lose the contents of my refrigerator during thiis. No generator use allowed. It could be a long while before I'm online as my laptop is dead. https://www.kezi.com/news/oakridge-and-westfir-ordered-to-be-ready-to-evacuate-ahead-of-cedar-creek-fire/article_6ecab290-2fe2-11ed-a6c1-9f18f673a1c1.html?fbclid=IwAR2e7aAdPtL-yT4GiBLO_BGKP20ksDfRAEeANnMC-2CaJpRvQUb8Acp0FxE 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members annie123 Posted September 9, 2022 Members Report Share Posted September 9, 2022 Be safe!! Hugs 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Robert D. Posted September 9, 2022 Members Report Share Posted September 9, 2022 KayC....praying for you.....be safe.....!! Get back soon....we all need you!! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Lost7 Posted September 9, 2022 Members Report Share Posted September 9, 2022 You will be in my prayers. Lost7 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members John9 Posted September 9, 2022 Author Members Report Share Posted September 9, 2022 On 9/7/2022 at 8:02 PM, KayC said: I felt that way too...here I am 17 years later, no idea how. It feels like a life sentence at times. Kay C, Yes, a life sentence in solitary confinement with only occasional respites. I hope that all goes well for you and Kodie and that you are back home safe soon. Thinking of you. John 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted September 9, 2022 Moderators Report Share Posted September 9, 2022 I'm sticking it out until Sunday w/o electricity at 5 pm on...will see what happens. If it goes to level 2, will likely go...somewhere. No one has offered as of yet. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members John9 Posted September 9, 2022 Author Members Report Share Posted September 9, 2022 1 minute ago, KayC said: I'm sticking it out until Sunday w/o electricity at 5 pm on...will see what happens. If it goes to level 2, will likely go...somewhere. No one has offered as of yet. Kay C, As was the issue with tnd, it is sad that the ones who seem to care the most can't help. I would help if I could, but I am too far away to offer any support except for moral support. I feel for you in every way and sorry to say, it sucks to be so alone and to feel so abandoned sometimes. Take care, John 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted September 9, 2022 Moderators Report Share Posted September 9, 2022 Thank you, John, your words mean more than you know.. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Lost7 Posted September 9, 2022 Members Report Share Posted September 9, 2022 KayC I will be lifting you up in prayer. Please be safe. Lost7 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Popular Post John9 Posted September 11, 2022 Author Members Popular Post Report Share Posted September 11, 2022 Hello all, It is another lonely weekend but it is made worse (if possible) by the fact that today is my second Birthday since my loving wife died. Tomorrow will be 18 months since she died. I know I have said this before but I really hate this so much and I miss her more each and every day and night than the ones before. I so much want this pain and suffering to end. Each day brings new aches and pains and so many thoughts and memories about my loving wife. Sadly they don't bring me much comfort they just remind me of all I have lost. Take care, John 2 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Popular Post Robert D. Posted September 11, 2022 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted September 11, 2022 John9 ....Happy Birthday! I know it is unbearable....but Happy Birthday to you! The weekends are horrible for me too....today is the first month since I lost my beloved wife.....I'm in a 24/7 bewilderment....a life I do not want and never saw coming ...jyst trying to just get through each hour is a challenge...and I know it will be that way from now on. I just prayed to the Lord for you.....for your sorrow today...especially tomorrow....and everyday....as I know myself this will never end.....God bless John9!! We are with you!! 2 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DWS Posted September 11, 2022 Members Report Share Posted September 11, 2022 25 minutes ago, John9 said: Hello all, It is another lonely weekend but it is made worse (if possible) by the fact that today is my second Birthday since my loving wife died. Best wishes to you today, John. Getting through this without our loved one to give us a bit of pampering on our birthdays is just hell. Big hugs. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Lost7 Posted September 11, 2022 Members Report Share Posted September 11, 2022 John9 Happy birthday! I know that this is tough. My soulmate passed four days after my birthday. I can empathize with your pain of celebrating a birthday without them. But I will be lifting you up today... know that you are cared for by so many on here. Virtual hug Lost7 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members April Ballou Posted September 11, 2022 Members Report Share Posted September 11, 2022 @John9 happy birthday. I know how hard it is. Just know we all are here for you. Just know we care. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Popular Post Sparky1 Posted September 11, 2022 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted September 11, 2022 Happy birthday John. I know it's not an easy thing to say to someone like us but we care for you. The next month and a half will be the toughest time of the year for me. In a few weeks it'll be our anniversary then my birthday then her 2nd year of her passing. Last night I had a dream of her and we were walking together and she stopped and kissed me and told me that she loves me. That gave me a bit of cheer in this tough going. 2 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted September 11, 2022 Moderators Report Share Posted September 11, 2022 s Know that all of us are thinking of you, even if your heart isn't in it. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members NiquesMom Posted September 11, 2022 Members Report Share Posted September 11, 2022 Happy birthday john! I believe your wife is right next to you, hugging you thru this tough time and sending you love to get thru each day 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Popular Post John9 Posted September 12, 2022 Author Members Popular Post Report Share Posted September 12, 2022 Thank you to all of my friends here who wished me a happy birthday. It means so much that people care and that is probably the only reason I am still here. GOD knows it isn't because I want to be here. I am here until GOD says otherwise but days like today are really so hard. My left knee has been bothering me and I have had it braced but today it really went out and I screamed so loud our Son came running in from outside wondering what was wrong. I hope that everyone has a better week ahead. Take care, John 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Lost7 Posted September 12, 2022 Members Report Share Posted September 12, 2022 Happy birthday John9. May each minute after get better. virtual hug lost7 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Popular Post John9 Posted September 12, 2022 Author Members Popular Post Report Share Posted September 12, 2022 On 9/11/2022 at 11:39 AM, Robert D. said: The weekends are horrible for me too....today is the first month since I lost my beloved wife.....I'm in a 24/7 bewilderment. Robert D, I am sorry that it is so hard for you as well. I hate that anyone has to experience this pain and suffering. It is 18 months for me today and I never thought I would make it this far. If it wasn't for the people here I might not have. But I come here and I vent and I complain and I comment and I hope you will as well. Thank you for the Birthday wishes as well. Take care, John 3 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Popular Post KayC Posted September 13, 2022 Moderators Popular Post Report Share Posted September 13, 2022 It seems yesterday was the miracle I'd prayed for!. Rained and cooler temperatures. Fire just 3 miles from my home, Peace to all of you here. 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members John9 Posted September 13, 2022 Author Members Report Share Posted September 13, 2022 KayC, That is good to hear, keep us posted. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members April Ballou Posted September 13, 2022 Members Report Share Posted September 13, 2022 @KayC that's good there was rain. Still praying 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted September 13, 2022 Moderators Report Share Posted September 13, 2022 We need a lot more, none predicted for a few days but it's hopeful. It is two miles from my dead end street, only way out. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Robert D. Posted September 13, 2022 Members Report Share Posted September 13, 2022 KayC....Wonderful news!! Bless the Lord!! 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members John9 Posted September 15, 2022 Author Members Report Share Posted September 15, 2022 It has been a very emotional period of time for me since my Birthday. I can only surmise that it just another combination of "special" events along with all of the coverage of the Queens death which is constantly showing all of the grieving people in the crowds. And I barely watch any news but it is all over the TV. I hope that everyone is doing as well as they can through their own journey. Take care, John 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Popular Post April Ballou Posted September 15, 2022 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted September 15, 2022 @Sim7079 I am sorry that this is a bad day for you. I understand. Back in July I went through that. This journey is hard on us hard. My thoughts and prayers are with you. 4 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members John9 Posted September 15, 2022 Author Members Report Share Posted September 15, 2022 56 minutes ago, Sim7079 said: Thinking of you @John9 & everyone else on this journey we are on. I’ve also been very emotional today too. Today would have been our wedding anniversary. Our wedding was such a beautiful day, one of the best days of our lives. I’ve been in tears most of the day as so wish I could continue to celebrate and smile on this day with my husband. It’s so hard. I did have a brief smile when I thought about all the good memories of the day. I agree all the coverage of the Queen’s death also makes me feel sad as understand the feelings all too well. Sim7079, I am sorry for your loss and I understand how hard the Anniversaries can be all alone. The memories are a good thing, but sadly they are also a bad thing for me as well. I had a bad dream last night and I don't usually remember any dreams. Last night I think I was with my loving wife and she was talking to someone else and they told her to tell me to leave and she did tell me to leave. It hasn't helped my emotions today, even though I am in no way any expert on dream interpretation. Take care, John 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Robert D. Posted September 15, 2022 Members Report Share Posted September 15, 2022 Sim7079....Very sorry about your immense pain on this very important day for you and your husband.....This is the very first time that I now realize what I will face that next March 11...on mine and JoAnn's anniversary..., which will be my first without her....and I am dreading it....I just prayed to the Lord Jesus for you....for His strength in your emotional pain and suffering.....We are here with you today...going through this with you.....many virtual hugs friend....!! 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now