Loss of an Adult Child

[lolynbo]

I NO OUR LIVES SUCK BUT IM SO GLAD I HAVE YAL....AND THIS SITE...

KIMBERLY TAKEN POIC OF KOURTNEYS HEADSTONE...KINDA NEAT AND SAD

[tanmanmymagicman]

Dan; happy late Birthday to Nick;

I watched the video and could feel the heart and love and hope you put in it; Seeing Nick;s pictures; beautiful young boy; watch out world are you ready for me..?????......but ; now it was to be  was watch out heaven are your ready for me.? 

I wondered how to survive if I could I knew I did not want too; it scares me to think of those first few months......I was not in this world myself........BUT this is how we do IT; making videos; awesome ones ; honor ing our kids; We have a golf tournment yearly for Tanner; this year will be the 2nd one......I pray for strenght to attend this year......

Well just wanted you to know you did your best to make Nick's birthday special......it broke my heart to see his pictures........I know ; I know;

Heartfelt blessings to everyone; hanging in and hanging on just like everyone else; (I think)?????????????? its Cindy; Tanner's Mama Gama huggs to all.........

[ericasmom]

Lorri, the bitter with the sweet. I think that we really don't know if folks are thanking their Gods for what they have, I would like to think that we stop and give thanks for all that we see and have in a day. I remember one snowy day, a beautiful snowy day, I told the kids to roll down the windows adn scream, THANK YOU GOD, it is a BEAUTIFUL DAY. When they were little we could do this. Later, Eri would have loved to put a bag over my head while I drove. "MOM, do not sing or move like you are dancing while you are driving, it is soooooooo embarassing."

Really, and it isn't embarassing to be called to school every week for some such violation? HU?

I think we pissed each other off some times like it was our job. But oh, we were becoming friends and I am grateful each day for having moved to that point in our lives.

Trudi, love the peace signs you sent. I copied them. Hey you go creaking to the music Girl, had I been at a venue last night where I could have stood up in the back, I would have been fine, but make me sit for long and I am done.

Arm is healing nicely Carol,and Sherry, thanks, no motrin for two days now, just some good muscle cream to rub in and while it hurts some, it is much improved. Today I went back into the warm water pool for the first time since I fell. It felt great to do some water exercise and not feel that my arm was strained. Carol, I am so excited that two months away and we hear the crowd cheering at the local ballparks. That is exciting. My Momma was a huge CUBS fan, and she would stand and sing the STar Spangled in the living room for each game. Now that was hard to explain to kids when I was a teen, let me tell ya.

Yep Carol, the smiles before were different.

Prayers for you Beth, and for Leah and your Daughter. Carol stated what I feel too, that you never ever should feel that you need to add sunshine here, we are here to help you find the sunshine again, and you will, your job is to let others help hold you up when you feel yourself falling. We are here.

Susannah, did I tell you that I visited your Girl's page, the memorial that you are building? It is wonderful, there is so much already. Love it.

Must sleep, long week of parent conferences ahead, some nights till 7:00 but so much to say, so it is good.

Love and hugs

dee

just a prayer for Jonathan to find ways to sustain happiness.

[mikesmum]

Sherry - Thanks for stopping by Mikes memorial.  I love it when I see a note in my emails that there is a message from Virtual Memorials....someone is catching up with Mike.

Carol - I so love that picture of you and your boy.  Only wish there were 9 tickets and I was there with you on Mikes day!  You are right, there is something different in the before smiles.....light, energy and future....

Dee - Oh yeah rock on dude!!!  Thinking of taking industrial earplugs.  Not that I don't like it loud, just struggle with hearing loss......age ahhhhhhhh

Greg - are keeping score on those maybe's and definites? 

The river is my objective tomorrow.. Warmer than today.  The puppies swimming I hope! 

[hotsauce]

good morning PAM,

on this angel day i hope KENNY shows you many signs that he is still with you. 

love and hugs

mary ann

BRIAN'S momdukes

[Guest]

KENNY KENNY KENNY KENNY KENNY!!!

FLY HIGH.  FLY FAST.  FLY FREE.  AND, WHILE YOU'RE AT IT, SEND SOME LOVIN' YOUR MOMMA'S WAY! 

[andrewsmother]

Not feeling good today...I'm officially back to work and starting in a new branch, where I don't know anyone and have to act like all is welll.  I want to go home and think of my child, I hate this new life without him.

I visited his grave yesterday and brought him some roses, also visited the accident scene and put some flowers there. 

My heart is aching for Chris, he called me on my cell (from his room) at 4 am on Saturday night, he said he couldn't sleep and kept thinking about his brother.  My little man cried, I cried with him, I held him for a long time until he got sleepy.

Its been 44 days since my son died.  Dear God...please give me strength because right now I feel like I have none.

Rosie, Andrew's mom

[ericasmom]

KENNY< KENNY< KENNY

fly high and free sweet Boy. Give your Momma a big hug and let her feel your love warm and full in her day.

Love to you Pam,

dee

[hotrod]

Kenny, Kenny, Kenny Fly Free Hold Your Mom Close Today

[4everjoeysmom]

My thoughts and prayers are with Kenny's family today.

My husband's cousin Heather lost her 18 year old son Matthew last night due to complications from a tonsillectomy he had last week.... My heart is breaking for her....

[hotrod]

Dear Rosie

I hear you   This road is so difficult. Facing change and showing up at a new work place really  increases the stress. Keep coming here and connecting. 

It is good that Chris was able to call you and talk until he became tired.It is so very hard.

Thinking of you and holding you in my heart

Betty

Stephen'smom

[Guest]

OMG, Claudia!  I'm so sorry!!  How horrible!  I'm so, so sorry! 

Susannah/Stephanie's mom

[lolynbo]

AMANDA SAID LAST NIGHT KOURTNEY HELD HER AND KEPT SAYING THIS VERSE FROM THE BIBLE JEREMIAH 29-11...

¹¹ For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.

SO SORRY TO HEAR ANOTHER ANGEL JOINS OURS...SO YOU SO SOON ..I WILL LIGHT A CANDLE FOR THEM...

[lolynbo]

[shorty16]

Claudia

Such a terrible outcome from such a minor procedure.

My heart breaks for her.  I will pray that the Lord gives her warmth and some comfort at this terrible time.

Is she in the States?

Colleen

[lolynbo]

WELL CHATTN ALONG ON FB AND I SEE PICS POP UP OF BRENT AND CARLEY...THERE GOES MY DAY...JUST WASNT READY TO HAVE THEM IN MY FACE YET...AND THE BRIDE AND GROOM DIDNT EVEN POST THEM...WOW..HOW HARD TO SEE THE SAME FACES HE MADE WITH MY DAUGHTER OF ENCHANTMENT AND LOVE..TO SOMEONE ELSE...MY DAY SHOT TO ****...BY 12 AND I GOT UP AT 10

[mikesmomrs]

Claudia:  I am so very sorry...holding Heather and all the family close in prayer...we have a couple in our CF group who lost their daughter due to a throat infection...it is just so mind-boggling how something so simple can become such a tragedy.  Praying for you and Michael, as well.

love and peace, carol  mikesmomrs

[bjsmom]

Claudia- My thoughts & condolences are with Heather & Matthew.

Pam- Kenny is with you, he is your heart & you are his.

Rosie- I found that "new" people may sometimes be best at times. For they don't have the eye's that question and tend to do well living their own life's dream. I too visit my son's accident site and always leave a small arrangement. I must be the only one as the site is so far from my home & where Bj was raised. I actually like the long drive alone, it gives me time to "remember when" and I imagine Bj sitting right beside me as we listen to the music, as we always did before.

Dee- Aren't our children something? I loved your story of how you embarrassed Eri yet she probably never realized her actions. I have always sang to the music and don't care who hears. No, I cannot sing well at all, but who am I trying to impress anyhow? I LOVE music, the louder the better, and the way it makes me feel so I share this joy openly. Possibly sometimes too openly. I remember driving home one day as Bj was in the passenger seat. A great song came on so I cranked it up. He said, "dang mom, I didn't know you liked it that loud". I just looked over at him & smiled, remembering all those times I heard the familiar "thump, thump" as he was pulling in the driveway. Yes, mothers like music too!

Dan- The picture of the balloon release is beautiful!

I have recently went onto MapQuest to see how far Little Rock, AR is. Driving time for me is 5.5 hrs and it's mostly all highway so this will be easy, may check on AmTrak as I've been craving an adventure. I am excited & looking forward to meeting all that come. Does anyone know about accommodations?

Deneace (BjsMom)

[hotrod]

Dear  Beth  I am holding good positive thoughts of you. I light a candle and prayed that little Zachy and all the angels surround you with their warmth and love and hold you close during your procedure. Please let us know how it goes.

Claudia  I am so sorry that another mother must know this pain.  I will pray for you and the family.

Dee I love the story of the Robin and your visits with the little birds in your back yard and when Eri was hurt.  I too have many beautiful adventures with the small birds I see along my route each day.

Carol the Picture of you and Mike was priceless  So glad the tickets arrived.  You  are so right  The smiles BEFORE are so different!!

Trudi I hope the little guys enjoy their swim today  I am waiting for pictures.

All other Indigos stay safe and warm

Betty

Stephen'smom:)

[daniellemom]

Pam – My thoughts and prayers are with you today. I will say his name loud and proud KENNY!!

Claudia – My prayers are with Heather and Kenny.

Rosie – Going back to work must be difficult with new people but like someone else said they will not know to look at you with pity and sadness. That’s what I really hated when I came back to work anyway, people stayed away didn’t speak and looked at me different. I was different but it’s not an illness you can’t catch this. My prayers are with you as you learn this new life, Andrew will always be by your side cheering you on. I’m also very glad Chris was able to call out to you and you were there to comfort him. It’s really hard on siblings. My son wanted to make sure everyone else was ok. He put his feeling to the back that was not good for him. I finally had to tell him you must grieve to be able to make Danielle proud of you because you can’t stop living to take care of your Daddy and me.

Dee – good luck with those parent conferences. I know you wished all your parents were like me! LOL. My prayers are with Jon.

Betty – Your words make my day. You are a wonderful person!

Dan – The balloon release pictures are great.

Carol – Love the picture of you and Mike. You are so right about the smiles being different now.

Kathy – Praying for you like always.

Cindy – So nice to see Tanner’s smile!

Susannah – Where do I go to see Stephanie's memorial page? Can’t wait to see you in Little Rock.

Sonya (Danielle’s Mom)

[4everjoeysmom]

I spoke with Heather about a half hour ago. We learned what really happened, and the story is tragic...VERY similar to my own story... No answers, lots of questions. It was not a surgery complication... He went about 10 or so last night, and was found this morning. No one seems to know where he was or who last saw him after he left his home. I HATE what this boy;s mother is going through right now!!!!

[shellbellsmom]

Claudia so sorry about your husbands cousin....life just doesn't seen fair sometimes.  Prayers for the family. 

Lorrie (((HUGS)))...wish you didn't have to see the photos so soon.

 

Pam look for those sign from your Kenny....and be open for them...he is right there beside you. 

 

Here is a video for anyone who is having a rough time I wanted to share...not sure if its been posted before. 

Wishing everyone some peace today. Sue

[mikesmum]

Pam -  Its never going to be easy on these days that take our breath and stop our heart for just that extra beat.  Know you are supported here, but most of all that Kenny still is such a part of you.  I believe our kids energy is around us.  Saying their name is something that became such a strength from MN.

Kenny Kenny Kenny - fly free, touch you mum's cheek with the whisp of a breeze....

Claudia - So many questions that we know are never answered.  Prayers for Heather  as she, like so many, embark on the never ending journey.  

Rosie - It so hard to just return to work, let alone a new environment. I went back to my workplace after 4 weeks.  So many different reactions.  I had changed so much I couldn't do the job any more....I hope you are in a supported workplace.  Close your eyes, we are with you....let us know when coffee is ready.

Lorri - We all know life goes on, but sometimes seeing it right in front of us in techincolour hurts.  I'm sorry your heart aches for what might have been. 

Deneace - There is an accomodation deal attached to BP conference.   It similar to last year.  The link is here if you want to check it out.....would love to see you, meet you face to face.  I'm bring the same one from last year (LOL)

http://www.bereavedparentsusa.org/Gathering.html

Warming up here - summer is running late.  Enjoy your Monday.....our Tuesday

[shellbellsmom]

Regarding the July Meet; Has it been decided that we are for sure attending the BP Gathering in Little Rock AK. July 9-11th? Last I heard we haven't totally decided.  Is there a person in charge of our BI group?  For the people who are going are they also planning on going to all the workshops speakers etc. or just a few. I didn't attend last year so don't know what to expect.

I got my husband talked into taking a vacation (St. Louis, Little Rock, Memphis, and maybe Nashville or Milwaukee) then and making this one of our stops.  He has no intention of attending any workshops or talks, but said if there is a social get together at a restaurant (or bar) he'd participate in that. The rest of the time he will bring a book and read or do work.  So, how does this all work.  What dates are the people going to AK looking to book hotel nights for (Fri-Sun)?  Are you planning on staying at the Holiday Inn under the gathering rate or someplace else.  Sorry if this was already explained I missed several days worth of post.  Just thought I would book my room now and figure out the rest later.  Interested in hearing what others have planned too. Sue

[Guest]

Hi Sue - I have the same questions you do about the BP gathering in Little Rock.

I just checked on flights. I'm thinking of flying in on Thursday and leaving Monday.  That might change. 

Will everyone be staying at the hotel recommeded on the BP site?  Is that the same place BP is holding their gathering?

At this point I don't plan on renting a car.  It's going to be an all day flight for me (I know it will be longer for Trudi)  so, I'm thinking getting there a day early to rest will be nice.  I think I'll just buy the meal package. 

I hope there will be someone I know there!!!

[lolynbo]

NOT THE BEST OF PICS (IF IT POST ) OF US ON THE CRUISE...KODY ME AND MONTY...

[ericasmom]

OK LORRI< this is a beautiful photo, you are so pretty, what a body!

Claudia, my heart is aching for your husband's family, oh my goodness. Keep us posted as to what if anything we can do. Is this young man's Mom in the states? Oh sadness, I am so sorry that your hearts must go there again. Prayers for some sort of healing one day.

Ok as far as Arkansas is concerned, I am still unsure, only cause of the Eri dates but I will probably be there, just need to fine tune a thing or two. Don't know if Hubby will come or not this time. To those of you wondering if you need or want to attend workshops, we had no workshops last year as there were six women and one husband adn we simply laughed and cried together and took walks and ate, and made the collages, and drank. It was wonderful, soul-food. Really. So whatever you choose to do, do it, and all will regather each day and share, it should be some great and joyous times.

Here is the saying that I love that was on a card a friend sent right after Erica died;

It is from the Eskimo Family-

Every human and animal is born

with a certain number of days to

their circle. Some lives are long

and some are short,

but each one is complete.

[daveydow1]

Pam----Your dear sweet Kenny is right near you. No time, no distance

constraints in heaven. Peace be with you.

Rosie---It is good that you & dear Chris cried together. It's good for siblings

to know they can mourn right along with the parents when a beloved child

dies.  I wish you peace & tranquility.

Claudia----I join the others here in saying that I am sorry to hear of another

 young person....Heather's dear Matthew....dying. Prayers for comfort.

Deneace----It's nice you visited BJ's accident site. My husband absolutely

will not go by the accident site where our Davey died. It is not a place where

one can stop & get out of the car to visit and place flowers. (on a steep incline

on a freeway next to an exit.....guardrail right next to highway).  I saw the site

once......always wished I could place a cross or something, but not really feasible

to do. So,.....we visit his gravesite often.....cemetery is not far from where we live.

Peace & comfort.

Davey's memorial site is:   david-georgedash1brownie2spot.memory-of

   if anyone would like to visit.

 Dee---Glad your arm is on the mend.

           Sherry 

[nicksdad]

Sherry...The link you put was incomplete for some reason

Davey's memorial site is:   david-georgedash1brownie2spot.memory-of

It's:

http://david-georgedash1brownie2spot.memory-of.com/

[summergirl]

Claudia, I am so so very sorry for the loss of another young person. I read the first post and then as I went along I see you posted again about what occured and my heart just broke for that family and for you...to have no answers and to not know what who he was with or where he was is so horrible. My prayers with the family and with you and pray that they get answers.

Rosie - 44 days, I am so sorry my friend, it seems like a lifetime doesn't it, I know the heartache you are feeling each and every second of the day. My heart is happy that your son Chris called you and you and he could comfort each other but so unhappy for the reason why.  Going back to work is a diffacult step I know...it took me quite some to be able to adjust to it and a long time before I didn't go outside every other 1/2 hour to have a cry. I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers and am so happy that you stay with us here.

Pam - KENNY, KENNY, KENNY......SAYING HIS NAME LOUD.....PRAYING HE SENDS YOU A BIG HUG AND A SWEET, SWEET DREAM.

A bit better today...I am slowly climbing up out of the hole I allowed myself to fall into, it is going to take time but it is a start.

Love all the pics !!

Today I am thankful for an understanding husband who can get very upset with me but loves me unconditionally...  I am also thankful for Tavian who enables me to live a life I never thought I would live again, who smiles that smile at me and my eyes see his sweet face and my heart sees his beautiful mommy.

Peace and love to all my wonderful BI friends. May God give you all the strength you need to get through another day, another moment.....Kathy

[mysonrich]

 

 

 

[bjsmom]

Lorri- The cruise trip picture is wonderful, such a beautiful couple!

Trudi- Thank you for the hotel info. It's been so long since I've stayed in a hotel that I did not realize how expensive they are. I now believe that we got a great deal in New Orleans last year. Bring that pretty face on...

Sherry- In my case the accident site has tremendous meaning, this was where Bj was last and his first trip to that particular town. It is situated at the end of an off-ramp which tees into a very busy road(hwy 80), this also makes it difficult, but not impossible, to get to. Once I get to the town I have to drive up the highway then come back(6 miles) & pull off the same exit; I always park off the road near the intersection, all the while imagining, "this is what Bj did that night". I've asked others to join me, but there seems to always be an excuse. Guess it's difficult for some, so was going to see his body that morning, but I've found over these months that I'm stronger than I ever believed. I could do anything for my Bj!

Claudia- I'm so sorry the pain that Heather must now endure a lifetime. The "questions that may never be answered" are so difficult to comprehend & rarely do we, as parents. My thoughts...

Sonya- Will be so happy to meet you in AR!!!

Sue- I watched the youtube video, the song was so touching!

Dan- Thank you for the help with Davey's memorial site. I was clicking & clicking but going nowhere, as usual.

Kathy- Will you be attending in AR? I truly hope so! Always so happy to see your words & that you keep in touch. Stay strong, I'm sending all my strength to you!

Dee- What you described in the last group function was wonderful & just what I need; to laugh, to cry, to walk, to eat & drink, just to get away for awhile. I am sooo looking forward to this! The card from the Eskimo Family is beautiful: "Some lives are long, some lives are short, but each one is complete". This saying really makes me think, "could it be possible that my son completed a lifetime in 19 years?" Oh man, what a lifetime of living he had!

Wondering if anyone will be attending the group alone and would be interested in sharing accommodations? I do smoke but will be happy to only smoke outside!

Deneace (BjsMom)

[zachysmom]

I will keep everyone posted how things go. Still scared but hoping for the best but planning for the worst.

My daughter had judo tonight and got her first bloody nose. Talk about having to put up the walls fast I think I did it in record time.

This was one of Zachs' first attempts at writing his name at school.

[ericasmom]

Deneace, that card given to me was one of the first sayings that really felt right in my spirit. That Eri's life was done here, that her time was finished maybe according to some grand plan, or not, but simply her life was complete. This thought has given me a peaceful feeling for all these years. She too, lived 19 very full years.

blessings,

dee

PS if i go, husband may go too, only because we never get to afford a vacation anymore, so we might as well make this our vacation. He will be like Sue's husband, go off to read and just be away from home, but not in the workshops.

Beth, tomorrow is the start of new things in your life, well, after you heal anyway. I have good feelings and vibes for your surgery. I believe it will be a smooth operation, and that you will heal and recover well. I believe that you will be able to move forward without the added hardship of being ill and in pain. Hooray for you.

Love adn sweet sleep,

dee

O reading a book called the USED WORLD, by one of my favorite authors, Haven Kimmel. This is fiction though I know that she pulls from her life, she is a midwestener, Indiana. She is the author of other fiction adn memoir, A girl Named Zippy, which I adored, and the sequel as well, laugh out loud. Well anyway, in this book, three women find their lives involved and in one scene, one young lady raised in a very right wing religious group, went to a more traditional setting for church with a friend. The minister says that everyone speaks about heaven, will they get there, Jesus died for us to get there, and he says, I think that if we just turn our heads, there is heaven. If we just look for the good, the love, then perhaps we will glimpse heaven. Loved it.  I will quote it more accurately tomorrow.

Claudia, any more news of your husband's nephew?

Peace somehow,

dee

[mikesmum]

Sue - first, the youtube link isn't recognised here.   Is there a reference name I can use to view it from here.

As for Little Rock.  It was a suggestion borne from Bereaved Parents gathering from Greg (Briansdad). 

Its flexible from attending the various activities, speaker etc to the meal/deal.  The room rate is same as we had for our band of 6 in MN.

There is an unoffical 'head counter' - Greg. The link I posted earlier links in with the accomodation so you can view the room and amenities.

Like Dee said, we had no structure to our inaugural gathering. There was a trip to a liquour store I found quite interesting. Driving in a big bad a*%#e Suburban SUV on the wrong side of the road was another activity I found amazing.   A sharing of tears, laughter and foood made the whole thing worthwhile! 

When we weren't doing things together we did our own thing. 

Dee - Love it if John could make it given he was an original posse member.....

Took the puppies to the river.  Charley is not a water baby...

Hurry up!  We're ready.

Charley follows Muttley, the small fluffy one that floats!

Whose a brave girl!!

Passed by Mike's house as I do each time.  There in the garage rented by Amanda's parents for their business was Mikes car ~ it something she didn't want anyone else to have. "Its for Harmony"....A picture is worth a billion words...

[bjsmom]

Beth- Zachy's first spelling of his name is awesome!!!! A+++++

Trudi- You are so right! A picture & a video are worth Everything!!!

Dee- It would be my honor to meet such a man that has stolen your kind heart!

Cindy- So happy to see Tanner's smiling face. Miss your post's, please come back soon.

It's now almost 2am & I can't sleep once again. I feel this overwhelming desperation to seek happiness, yet happy is not what I feel at this moment. Life is such a struggle & turmoil from within.

Deneace (BjsMom)

[mikesmomrs]

KENNY...KENNY...KENNY...Please surround your sweet mom with memories to place peace in her heart...

Trudi:  Looks like you and the pups were at least trying to cool off...we are still trying to warm up!   Mike's car...it must break your heart anew each time you pass it by...wanting to jump out and place your hands on it...I would find it hard to restrain myself...

Beth....holding you close in prayer and thought on Tuesday morning...know that we are all praying for you, as well...Zachy's writing lessons...so cute...

Claudia:  the heartache of not knowing...I pray answers come soon...

I will likely be attanding the AK get-together, also...MN was such a wonderful experience...being with people who know and understand your feelings is a gift, a true gift...

peace to all tonight (what's left of it...)  Carol  mikesmomrs

[mikesmomrs]

Deneace:  You were posting while I was writing...I am sorry you are not able to sleep...the nights can be lengthy and filled with longing...I am right there with you on this night.

love and peace,  carol  mikesmomrs

[nicksdad]

I am sorry I am late on this.....

[Guest]

Beth - Keeping you in my prayers and thoughts.  May the angel's hands guide the surgeons!  Love the picture of Zachy's writing his name.  He really did quite well! 

Right now, it's a definite yes that I am going to Little Rock (there's a song in there   )  The only thing that will change it for me is if I have a break down.  I can say that to you all.  I'll go unless I fall apart.  That tickles me.  We can only talk like that to each other. 

It meant so much to me to visit all the memorials this week, so far.  I still have to make a folder for the addresses.  Thank you for visiting Stephanie's.  I didn't quite understand before now. 

I'm going to put something very personal out there.  I would like your experience, strength and hope.  I would appreciate your input, too, Dan and Greg, if it's not too embarrassing.  I have zero libido now.  My husband is very patient, but I'm worried.  Sex was always a big part of our life.  At our age, we had we were able to drop all pretenses and just enjoy one another.  I'm on anti-depressants now, and I know that's part of it, but I didn't want to "engage" before I went to the doctor. 

Most of the time I go to bed when the kids go to bed (if not before) and am asleep when Gary comes to bed.  Sometimes, though, when he joins me, I feel myself freeze up and put the wall of "don't even think about it" up and I don't know why.  I love my husband.  Okay. Enough said.  Thanks for your input in advance.

Susannah/Stephanie's mom

[lostwoher]

     sorry im late:

  "Kenny - Kenny - Kenny"

 

saying his name now and always,

Lynn

           

[hotrod]

Good Morning Indigos

 

Beth  Zachy's attempts at writing his name were excellent.  You must be very proud!!!  I am holding positive thoughts of you today.

 

Trudie Thanks for the pictures of Mutley and Charley.  I think of them as my virtual pets  The picture of Mike's car was so powerful. I would find it so  difficult to see  every day.

 

Susannah My entire social life has changed  From being fun - outgoing go any where do anything person  I now am a loner, have limited social engagements- enjoy quiet walks and my own company.  This has been very difficult to my "live in relationship of 20 years.  For at least 2 years I did not want anyone touching me Period.  That has changed recently but not much  I will never be the same person  I have told him so and we are attempting to go from there.  

 

Dee I agree with your Indian Poem.  I always felt that Stephen's life was truly lived to the fullest and that he had accomplished ALL his dreams.  I mourn because I had not FINISHED LOVING HIM YET and my life is still going on without the most important part.

 

I hope everyone has a good day and please know that you are in my thoughts

 

Sherry, I visited Davey's Memorial site yesterday It was beautiful, Sonya I hope the W11 and non smoking are still going strong, Betsy I hope you are feeling better miss you, Leah, please know you are not alone,

Lynn always nice to see Kayla smile, Deneace, great to see Bjs handsome face, Carol It is always so soothing to see Mike's picture and read your posts. Marcia Take care of your leg and Lorrie keep posting your pictures  they always cheer my day, Mary Ann Hope you are feeling better and Kathy glad to hear you are coming back. Rosie, Kim  Greg, and Dan and all others stay well

 

Betty

Stephen'smom:)

[shorty16]

Hello Indigos

Lots of talk on BI.  Hard to keep up with it all.

Aaron has finished his JV wrestling season.  He placed 6 out of 14 in his 130 lb weight class.

I am proud that he finished the season.  Brian was notorious for quiting, because the coach was being mean to him.  AJ sucks it up.

Having an OK day today until I have to drive home and know that Brian will not be there.  That is always a tough time for me.

Colleen

[homeschoolmom]

Just wanted to pop by and say "hello" to all.  Actually Bree and I are in counseling, and it's hard to see her reluctance to deal with the pain...mirror image of her dear old mama. It's just easier not to think about it, just to stuff it down and recall only good things...guess we're stuck in the middle of DENIAL.

Anyway, tomorrow is our final hearing for Akiem's adoption, and we're all excited.  It's been a long trip, but completely worthwhile.

I'll catch up in a bit, for now, we're going through the door.

Blessings,

Shelly, Rohan's Mama

[bjsmom]

Carol, thank you for being there! Some nights are tougher than others and I believe all this upcoming court stuff is bringing on more & more.....trying to stay strong.

Deneace (BjsMom)

[hotsauce]

good afternoon to EVERYONE.

Betty, i am doing better thank you for asking.  i sure wished you lived closer.

mary ann                                                                                                                     BRIAN'S momdukes

[zachysmom]

Surgery is done. Went fine. Tired groggy will write more later

[andrewsmother]

Zachysmom:

I am so glad your surgery went well, I've been reading your posts, Zachy is adorable. 

I've been going back and I can't figure out who's Kenny's mom, was it his angelversary?

Im at work again today, yesterday was really tough, after being semi concentrated on work, it hit me like a brick when I left the office.  I cried the whole hour ride home.  I almost hate being distracted, because it just hits me worse when I remember again, I'd rather just be in constant pain than have that "shock" after forgetting for a few minutes.

I'm finding that unless I read your posts and connect, I'm not going to be able to make it through the day, I need a place where I am understood.

I hate the fact that I have an hour drive each way to work and I'm expected to be there from 8:30 am to 6 pm, and as a loan officer we are paid commission only with a tiny draw.  I wish I could be a part time cashier or something somewhere where I could work 4 hours and spend time with my son.  When I got home last night it was almost time to sleep, just to wake up at 6 am the next day...

Got get on a call but will check in later....Have a blessed day.

Rosie, Andrew's mom

[ericasmom]

Shelly, so very good to see your Beautiful Boy here, and great to know that after so much work, your little Boy will be adopted into your family. I am so proud of your effort in the face of so much heartache, to go forward with adoption. Hugs.

Deneace, aren't you sweet to say that you would be glad to meet the man that I married. He is a funny one, that man is. We are opposites in so many ways, but oh well, we laugh a lot and we care a lot. He has never had children of his own and when Erz first died, I did not think that we would be able to find common ground as all I could do was grieve. He could not grieve my little Girl, he could grieve a girl that he loved but was never real close to, he did not see her growing up to understand the girl she was. thankfully, he was able to comprehend the enormity of Eri's leaving, he left me to what I needed to do. He and my Son, Jon are quite close which is great for us all.

Rosie, I understand that the shock of Andrew's death hits you in the face when you leave work, but that is how it is for most of us as we begin to work again. I teach third grade and went back to work in late August to start the year, unsure if I really could do that. Eri died in July of 2003. So the only way I could find out was to try. It turned out to be the best thing I could do, but at every break, lunch, when the kids went to their specials,(gym, art, music) I wept. As soon as I left each day, I wept. Eventually, it lessens. But not now, it is early. If this is not the right job for you right now, is there a possibility of taking a less strenuous position somewhere? Will your family survive on less $$$? I really get how you need to be near Chris. BTW, I love that he called you the other night. That is a young man that understands at a young age how to let someone help them through a very tough time. Good for him, good for you. Andrew is smiling on you both.

BETH, hooray, the surgery was successful. That my Dear is good good news.

Now take the time the docs say is necessary to properly heal. Treat yourself well.

Love to Each,

dee

[andrewsmother]

I just wanted to say that  all you guys are awesome!  Thank you for all your help and support!

 

Rosie, Andrew's mom