Loss of an Adult Child

[lolynbo]

JUST BEEN ON PHONE WITH KIMMY SHE SAID HER FRIENDS LIL 18 YR OLD BROTHER MICHAEL WAS FOUND THIS MORNING GUN SHOT TO THE CHEST, HE IS IN ICU AT OU MED (WHERE WE SPENT SO MANY MONTHS WITH KOURTNEY)....PLZ PRAY FOR HIM AND HIS FAMILY AND THAT HE MAKES IT THROUGH THIS AND THE PERSON IS CAUGHT...

ALSO BEEN ON THE PHONE WITH CHAPLAIN GARY (MY BUDDY FROM OU MED)..HE SAID HE SPEAKS TO LARE GROUPS ABOUT DEATH...AND HE NEVER FULLY GRASPED IT TILL HE MET US AT OU.....WOW....REALLY........CHOCKED UP.....HE ALSO SAID

"DONT GET CAUGHT CLINGING TOT HE PAST, WHILE THE FUTURE MOVES BEYOND YOUR GRASP"...

HE FURTHER SAID THAT OU HAS LEARNED SO MUCH FROM KOURTNEY LYNN BRACKETT-CARGAL AND HER FAMILY....THANK YOU GARY I NEEDED THAT.....

[arc4ever]

Lorri, please know I will pray very hard for this young man and his family.

And what a wonderful message to have received, I'm certain it is very true.

Take care,

Terrie (Adam's mom)

[daniellemom]

Lorri – Prayers for Michael and his family! Glad that Gary took the time to let you know how your family and Kourtney helped him. Congrats to Kimmy and Cody.

Carrie – It’s so nice to see David’s smiling face again. Whenever I go to your neck of the woods I think of you and David’s mom. My prayers are with you this season.

Lynn – I’m so sorry you are in the black hole that we find ourselves in so many times. Keep your eye on the mere dot it’s Kayla Dawn letting you know that she is still with you.

Dee – Please keep the snow up north, we do not need any more! So glad the tree is decorated and you and Jon enjoyed each other, great times.

Betty – So glad the doctor’s went well.

Terrie – I just love seeing Adam smiling face and I love that red hair.

Sonya (Danielle’s Mom)

[arc4ever]

Shelly,

The words you wrote for Rohan are just beautiful.  I hope you don't mind, I stole some of it for Adam's memoriam in our newspaper for Christmas.  It was just so beautiful and my mind isn't good at writing down what I am feeling, so I "borrowed" your words.  This is what is am putting in the paper:

In the midst of precious life-there is death.

Deep pain rends the fabric of our soul

Arms used to hugging you

Now merely useless appendages

And a parent's heart, still blessed to have had you,

Is now altered, and grounded by your loss.

We love you Adam and miss you more than words can express, Mom and Dad

I am having a photo very similar to the avatar that I have for Adam included in the memoriam.

Again, I truly hope you don't mind, your words were just so touching.

We leave tomorrow, running away to a cabin for the next few days, returning on Saturday.

May you all find a small bit of comfort, a little bit of laughter, and much love over these next difficult days and always.

Love, Terrie (Adam's Mom)

 

[shorty16]

Thinking of my Indigo's

Beth - Are you seeing any of this snow?  Stay warm - I am thinking of you and that sweet face of Zach.

Marcia - Hope your hobbling is going well?  Glad you are still going on your Christmas vacation.  Thinking about you.

Bonnie - You and my friend Carol must be right in the middle of this snow storm?  I saw your post of Jay's marker all cleaned by his friends.  What a great bunch.

Carol - Wish us luck on our flight out of Milw and Chicago tomorrow.  Hope the snow does not delay our flight!?!?  Keep warm

Dee - WI is getting a very light dusting of snow - Pretty actually.  How is your neck of the woods?

Trudi - Summer in Australia?!?  Think of you often and all the fun things you do and tell us about.  Scott and I are still planning on visiting the down under.  We will wait until AJ graduates.

Averysdad - So great to see Avery's face.  I think of you often, Avery was close to Brian in age when they became angels.  How is the weather on the other side of the pond?

Susannah - Hope the custody hearings went your way?  Keep us informed, we care!

Lorri - Your son-in-law is marrying soon.  Bitter-sweet thing.  I think you approve of her, but Kourtney was his first real love - and always will be.  Consider yourself hugged.

Andrewsmom - so sorry you are here with us, but you have come to the right place.  I read you are stuggling whether to have an open casket.  Scott and I (actually Brian did) choose cremation.  We said our goodbyes in the hospital the night of the accident.  Everyone does it differently. Nothing is wrong.

Terrie - Love, Love Adams face.  That smile is infectious.  I loved the letter you posted that you were going to send to your family and friends.  Great way to put your feelings into the written word.

Carrie - So glad to see David's face.  We too went through the court process.  And sorry to say, but we did not start healing until the court process was over.  A huge relief will be coming your way when this is done.

Sue - Thinking of you and your beautiful daughter, Michelle.  I sing "Michelle my Bell" to my Michelle all the time.  I think of your Michelle often.

Cindy - So glad to see your post.  I am traveling your way tomorrow.  Hear it is summy and high 60's low 70's.?  Can't wait.

Dawn - EJ is hugging you as you go through this tough stretch of grief.  The holidays affect us all.  My that dot of light turn into a door for you to get up and live.  Thinking of you.

Kathy - Tavian must be so fun during this holiday season.  Hope Santa is good to you and yours this year.

Nick's Dad - So glad to see Nick's face.  The pictures of the cars are really cool.  Our boys had a common interest - Brian was studying to become a mechanic.  His car is due for an emmisions test in Jan.  Before Brian was killed, he sawed off the muffler...It sounded cool MOM!  Now we have to fix it before the car can be registered (WI).

Greg - Got the book and read it straight through.  Kind-of sad that after so many years she still cried so much for the loss of her young daughter.  Never seems to end, does it.

Betty - How is New York in this storm?  May Stephen smile upon you and keep you warm. 

Sonya - Danielle's smilling face is so great.  Hope you and yours have a wonderful holiday season.  Keep warm

Tomorrow my family and I are traveling to Hollywood California, Universal Studios.  On Christmas morning, we are putting some of Brian's and my mother's ashes into the Pacific Ocean.  I will say the names of each of your children on that beach on Christmas morning.  I will think of each of you as I say them.

Say Their Names

Love to my friends

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever

 

 

[daveydow1]

Colleen---Your trip to the ocean sounds lovely. Thanks for saying out kids'

names while there. Peace to you.

Lorrie----Prayers for Michael, that he may recover. 

Dee----Your walk in the snowy wonderland sounds so nice. The whiteness

shows so many wonders in nature. When coming home from supper tonight,

we say a deer run across yards in the comples......he showed up so plainly.

Magical sight to see. Oh....window shopping downtown Chicago, and lunch

sound divine. 

Carriebear...So nice to see David's smiling face again. Have a peaceful holiday.

Marcia---Hope your getaway is very restful, and relaxing.

To ALL here in the BI FAMILY.....Hang onto the things that warm your hearts.....

hearts that can be sorrowful and at the same time joyful. PEACE TO ALL.

             Davey&Lisasmom,   Sherry 

[ericasmom]

Makes perfect sense Carrie, and I am glad that I can offer those to you. Good luck on the litigation side of things. We had about 3.5 years of legal stuff, was glad adn ready when that aspect of ERi's death was finished, though it was hard on her Daddy, who felt that at least having that part still going, gave him a bit of her, still a fight to wage. When it ended, he was quite low.

Colleen old buddy, it snowed all day long, we don't have a ton but certainly more than they originally expected. It was lovely all day long. I so hope that you guys get out fo town without a hassle and that the time you spend in California is wondrous. My prayers will be chanted for you all to feel the peace of your Sweet Bri as you sprinkle his and Grandmoms ashes.

Prayers f or the young man Lorri, let us know.

Love throughout the Universe

dee

[lolynbo]

MICHAEL IS OUT OF SURGERY AND IS DOING WELL...GOD IS IN CONTROL....WHAT A RELEIF...NO ANGEL TAKEN THIS DAY THIS BOY...

[4everjoeysmom]

Super Busy days over the past few days, and more to come for the rest of the week, through Sunday. I can't even begin to keep up with all the posts right now...

I am carrying you all and our beautiful kids in my heart as we spend the next few days feeding area seniors, orphans, handicapped children, as well as making our annual Christmas Basket deliveries to 25+ poor families. God bless you all and may you find moments of joy wrapped in the memories of our kids this Christmastime!

SO much love,

Claudia

[Guest]

Lynn -  Praying the dot of light grows and expands and you are able to see you way out of the darkened hole!

Lorri - Kourtney was a beautiful bride!  Kim and Cody's wedding sounds enchanting. 

Colleen - What a bittersweet trip to California.  I will think of you on Christmas morning as you spread your son's ashes, thinking of our children.  Bless you. 

My apologies for not keeping you all posted as to the court's decision.  I was in a bit of shock, actually.  The judge gave us the kids.  There will be the decision of adoption or just guardianship.  We are pressing for adoption.  The DA and DFS (Dept of family services) are both pushing for adoption.  It isn't over yet.  But, almost.  One things for sure........we get the kids.

Their dad will be joining our family for Christmas.  He'll spend the night Christmas eve and all day Christmas. 

As for the abuse case against his ex girlfriend (I hope his ex), we are just waiting the sentencing.  She has been convicted of two counts felong child abuse.

We are nearing the end of a very long battle...........and, we are beginning another battle........raising three young children!

I found myself crying today when I took the kids to their visit with their dad.  I miss my daughter terribly.  And, while I know she is still with us and alive in our lives almost more vividly than when she was in physical form, she is not in physical form and I want to hold her and kiss her and laugh with her and even fight with her. 

I want to call her and give her the news of our victory.  Even knowing she is probably the one who made the victory happen. 

I miss her.

Stephanie.....my sweet, sweet daughter.  For reasons I don't understand God called you back to Him.  It must have been important, because we needed you so much more!  My arms ache to hold you.  I will continue to love.  I will continue to hold others.  I will love abundantly and fully and freely........but, my arms will not be complete until I hold you once again, too.  Until that day, I ask that you keep sending your birds...even if they do freak me out a bit. 

 

[mysonrich]

Hi Indigos, i would like to ask for your help in prayer tonight. I received this email, a portion of which I have pasted here. This is my cousins child. Her son, a couple years older then Rich was killed in a motorcycle accident about 3 years ago. Thank you

Hannah needs to have heart surgery. The

> details; Hannah had her defib put in Aug 2006. Fall 2007 we

> were notified that the lead (wire that connects the defib to

> the inside of heart- it goes through a vein, through the

> aorta, to the ventrical- I forget which one) was recalled

> due to its thinness it fractures. So at the time, it checked

> out ok. Well, this weekend her defib began beeping- an

> alert that something is wrong. Mon we got it checked- they

> took readings and adjusted the alarm. Tues (today) we got a

> call- for her to come in asap to have the defib turned off,

> because she would be at risk for the defib to go off

> repeatedly, like 20 times unnecessarily. Surgery was

> scheduled for Monday to remove the faulty lead and replace

> it. (a complicated surgery- 2% experience heart tears, 1%

> are fatal) We are scared and stressed. We appreciate your

> prayers and support at this time.

 

Reading everyone. Just reading lately.

Betsy,my son Rich

 

[daveydow1]

Claudia----Your charity brings so much comfort & cheer to all of

those it serves. Peace to you.

Betsey---Praying for Hannah....that everything turns out Ok.

Lorrie---So glad to hear that Michael is out of surgery & doing better.

Susannah---Good news that it has been ruled that you get the kids. Hope

the next step is also in your favor too.

    Davey&Lisasmom,   Sherry

[hotrod]

Hello Betsy

Prayers are being sent up for your cousin Hannah.  I pray the surgery is a success and that her recovery is blessed.  Good to see Rich's handsome face.  Understand about just reading.   Lynn I pray that the light becomes a bit brighter and warms your heart.  This time of the year is so hard

Susannah great news about custody of the children   I also understand about the missing and yearning.

Colleen Have a safe journey.  The Pacific is a special place.  Will be thinking of you and  Terrie safe trip.  Your statement about Adam  was beautifulV

Claudia try to rest, it is good to see Joey's handsome face.

Lorrie Glad the young man is recovering and the wedding plans sound so very special

I was out and about today andd Stephen sent "Frosty the Snowman" to me in each store I visited again.  I did smile as soon as it came on in each shop.  You are all right  THe signs are there  I will need to start looking after the Holiday and see what I have been missing.

Betty

Stephen'smom:)

[tanmanmymagicman]

Colleen; I am 3 hrs from Los Angles; (South)right now we have high wind warnings and the grapevine(that I-5) that we have to take to get to LA was closed earlier....I think it just opened a few hrs. ago.....I am sure the weather in LA will be awesome though.......Have a great time........Merry Christmas to all........and again thank you for all the kind words and friendships; Love Tanner's Mama Gama;

[heartbeataway]

Colleen,

Travel safe!  Enjoy the ocean ..... there's something tranquil about waves to me.  I hope you find a little bit of tranquil in your visit.

We have a tree!  I'm not even going into all the problems we had just getting a tree. I don't think you can tell in the picture but it doesn't have the right top on it.  The rignt one is suppose to arrive tomorrow. And it will be the third! Crazy!  I was beginning to think it wasn't meant for us to have a tree this year.  And I don't think I've ever cried while putting up our Christmas tree before .......

Right after I put the finishing touches on the tree, Jason's dog, Jackson wanted to go outside.  When I let him out he made what I think looks like a heart in the snow.  This is not a great picture of it.  I'll try again tomorrow when it's light.

The finished product. 

Gingy!  Front and center .....

This is a little bear that Jason gave me when he was in elementary school.  He went on a field trip and spent his souvenir money on something for me.

Just one of the  bulbs .....

This is a piece of wood from the Pinnacle that was taken the day we spread Jay's cremains. A couple of the guys that worked with him sanded it and put a finish on it and gave it to me. Wasn't sure what to do with it so I'm using it on the tree.

  Jay, did I make you proud?

Savannah,

Congrats on the ruling!

Betsy,

I will pray for Hannah. Does she have ARVD?

Greg,

Received the book today.  Thank you!

Love for the journey,

Bonnie, Jay's Mom

[lolynbo]

OK WANTED TO SHARE SOMETHING AMANDA TOLD ME...SHE SAID SHE WAS OUT TO EAT WITH THIS GUY THAT SHE LIKES AND A LADY WALKED BY HER TABLE AND SAID:

YOU WILL NOT DIE FROM YOUR TUMOR, AND WHEN HE ASKS YOU TO MARRY HIM SAY YES...

AMANDA WAS FREAKED OUT...BUT I THINK IT WAS AWESOME AWESOME CHRISTMAS GIFT...

[Guest]

Something sweet:

8yr old Mariah and I were having a heart to heart in my room this evening.  Mostly she shared her faith.  In the middle of it she announces that she's not sure she believes in Santa or not.  Seems there are kids in her class who have snuck a peek and they said there's no Santa...it's your mom and dad or Grandma and grandpa. 

Since she had just shared such in depth insight about God, death and "bad stuff" I decide to clue her in.  I make her swear to secrecy.  We make the "pinky swear promise". 

"There is no Santa"  I tell her.  She bursts into laughter and tells me she's not mad at me or anything and she promises not to tell anyone.  She then asked,

"Does Grandpa know?"   

[heartbeataway]

Wow Lorri!  I don't know what else to say!  Wow!

Susannah,

Too cute!  Does Grandpa know? 

I remember when Jason told me there was no Santa. He was five. My sister felt it was lying to her children to let them believe in Santa, the Easter Bunny, etc ....

But I also believe that he always had a logical way of thinking and it wasn't logical to him that a big man in a sleigh loaded with enough gifts for every kid in the world, with reindeer leading the way, coming down each chimney, etc... 

[ericasmom]

Hi All,

Eri was very mad at me when she asked me if there was really an Easter Bunny, and when I said, "well, no, not really but it is an old story that is passed along" -she freaked, hit me, layed face down on the couch and yelled, "then you lied about Santa Too." I felt like crap and suddenly wished that I had been a practicing Jehova like some folks down the block when I was little, then there would be no big letdown. Oh welll, she got over it of course, but I wonder if she had had kids, would she have kept the story going?

Bonnie, the tree is gorgeous, I love it. What is wrong with the tree topper? Looks great from here.

Hooray for Stephen Betty, playing Frosty.

Betsy, as Betty pointed out earlier today, it does get harder the closer we get, but then it will be done, and we can just be in winter season, not holiday season. I will pray, have already prayed for Hannah, that she not only come through surgery well, but that she live a long and strong life.

Claudia, good luck in all you do this season, to help ease the hardships of others. Joey smiling the whole time.

Wow indeed, Lorri. I love that the woman said this to Amanda. Very cool.

Lynn, she is curled beside you resting on her MOmma.

Sus, great news about the ruling. I love the question; Does Grandpa know?

Traveling mercies to all that are moving about the world. Happiness and joy.

Sleep well Everyone,

dee

[Guest]

3:21am....

"Does  Grandpa know?" was too good of a punch line to continue the story from there.  But, the rest of the story is Mariah was not disuaded (is that a word?).  She still believes in Santa.  She thinks I'm silly.  After all, she reminded me, we just saw Mrs Santa shopping for Santa yesterday!

There's a lady downtown who dresses like Mrs Santa every year. 

My thoughts are going a 100 miles a minute...  I have a ton of presents to wrap.  I have nothing bought for Christmas dinner.  Actually Christmas eve is when we have a big get together.  Well, Christmas Day too.  I've not made one piece of fudge or divinity.  Not one cookie.  I used to dip my own chocolates.  Those were the days I was trying to be Donna Reed.  I turned out more like Roseanne Barr.  Maybe somewhere in the middle.

I'm rambling.

Lorri - too cool about the woman telling Amanda she won't die from her tumor and when he asks her to marry him, say yes.  I wonder if the guy choked on his food. 

Susannah/Stephanie's mom

[nicksdad]

I finally got time to read and finished the Mitch Albom "Have a Little Faith" book. Very good book, I find all his books a super read.

Then with all the talk about The Christmas Box I went and got that yesterday and it's one of those pick up read and don't stop till it's finihsed...My sister emilaed me couple days ago and said she just finished it and I should read it. I thought that must mean something because I know Greg has been talking about the same book....So thank you for that Greg... Another super book

[mysonrich]

good morning, i can't seem to get warm these past couple days. Do they still sell battery warming socks?

 

Susannah, great conversation you had with Mariah about Santa. So cute.

 

Bonnie, she never mentioned ARVD but I will ask. I made corn muffins this morning. Jiffy. To warm the house. Much better with a little added milk. thanks

 

Dee, very nice to hear of your tree and shared memories.

 

Colleen, have a safe and peaceful trip.

 

Betty, nice signs, you and Frosty, Stephen and frosty.

 

Sherry, its always good to see Daveys smile and  read your kind words.

 

MaryAnn, how are you?

 

Dan, read The Christmas Box in one sitting as well. This house may look familiar to you. Its the house I saw in my minds eye as I read the book.

 

Greg, thanks again

 

 

Betsy,mysonRich..last time I saw my boy alive was Christmas last year. love you bubba

 

F.decorate(_ge('button_bar'), F._photo_button_bar).bar_go_go_go(1245670721, 0);

[briansdad]

Yep Betsy that's it.

[mikesmomrs]

I have read some Mitch Albom's Five People We Meet in Heaven, as well as seeing the movie;  I will have to get "The Christmas Box" and "Have a Little Faith" after the holidays.

Sherry:  thank you for the good wishes…we all wish you the same.  Susannah:  “Does Grandpa know?” is just too funny…I am kind of glad, though, that Mariah felt it was okay to stick to her fantasy of Santa’s being real…our fantasies come to an end all too soon in this life…may she continue just a little longer…  Such great news about the legal results for the kids…they are blessed to have you and Gary…and Gary is a true gem of a man! 

Dee:  Your heart must have broken when Eri was so dramatically responded to your unveiling of the Easter Bunny myth, and thus all the others that had lived in her fantasy world…and yes, the do get over it, but I think it is not so bad that they have a little of the “make-believe” in their early lives…  I am glad that you got such a beautiful snow, and I know your many kids who are out of school are enjoying their day of beauty…I can still remember those days, oddly enough…just loved staying out til dark…we rarely had a sled…usually a huge old piece of cardboard that had been found in summer and hidden in the cellar, protected like precious gold til that first snow…don’t know how we ever survived those rides…we had to maneuver through thick trees, but somehow we always did…  I am so glad to hear thatyou and Jon shared so much with the putting up of the tree...likely it went a long way towards helping Jon heal.  I pray he is doing better. 

Carrie:  good luck to you on the legal side of things…so many here have had to drag themselves through those battles…as if the pain of loss wasn’t enough…

Lorrie:  so glad Michael has made it out of surgery…prayers that his healing continues and he is soon up and about…such a wonderful Christmas gift for his loved ones.  Amanda must have really freaked out when she heard what the lady said to her…was the guy an acquaintance or love interest for her?  I pray her tumor is one they can help her with. 

Betsy:  praying that Hannah has a wonderful turnout also…

Lynn:  Holding you close in my heart that you may soon see more light in your world…when I feel that the light is fading, I try to hold this picture in my view (I know I've posted it before, but here it is again)…it always reminds me that no matter how dark it is, there is light still coming through, leading me to the next breath…

Bonnie:  the tree…oh, Jason is just smiling all over the place…you did good, Bon, you did good.  All that beauty, those wonderful memories, mixed with tears, and joy, and peace in your heart…what an emotional event for you, but one that Jason is so very pleased with…and of course, “Gingy,” front and center.  I love what you did with the piece of wood from Jason’s memorial site…a wonderful idea.   Can’t wait to see the daylight pic of the heart that Jackson made for you…

Claudia:  I wish you luck with your works this Christmas…I am so glad that you have been able to do some baskets this year, also, but sad that the number is down.  I wish I could be there to help you put them together.  Wishing you and Michael peace and blessings for Christmas. 

Betty:  Stephen is right there with you and wants you to know it…yes, there are signs everywhere, and sometimes we do miss them, but when we see them, we are lifted above our pain and given that moment of loving joy.

Safe traveling, Colleen and Marcia and ...and all others who venture forth this week...

To all our Indigos...thinking of you all and keeping you all close in prayer and thought as we journey through these days of bittersweet memories...may peace find you and allow you breathing room...let the tears flow when they come...they are healing, too.  

Speaking of signs, I have a couple of Christmas candles in flower pots, sitting on the box that sits in front of the sofa… when I got up this morning, I found this fuzzy little white heart next to one of them (I had been tearing apart pieces of "fuzzy snow" for a couple of Christmas decorations earlier in the day yesterday but had not even been in the living room with it)… I feel it was a gift to Damon…(for those new to BI, Damon is Mike’s now 5 year old, and whenever we are together, I try to point out “hearts” to him that we see here and there---clouds, leaves, marks on the sidewalk, etc.-- ever since the day, a while ago, we were walking down the street together and there was a heart-shaped stain on the sidewalk…we looked at it together, and ever since then, whenever Damon sees a heart, he will point it out to me…he particularly loves the “abstract” kind…someday, when he is a little older, I will tell him that I believe the hearts are from his daddy)…Damon spent the night here last night (a very last minute, wonderful treat for us), and he slept on the sofa…right by the box that I found the “fuzzy heart” on this morning.  Damon was delighted!  It now sits on our tree, by the red punch buggy.  Thanks, Mike. 

After we take Damon to his other Grandma’s this morning, we are going to visit my sister, Dorothy.  She will be leaving for Florida after the first of the year.  We will be taking her out to lunch/dinner for Christmas and her birthday...her 82nd b'day is Dec 27th.  I am bringing one of the photo books I have worked on for my sisters and brother for Christmas---luckily it was delivered yesterday, just in time…I know she will love it. 

We are not quite finished with our tree…almost there.  I will post pics when it is completed, hopefully this evening. 

I wish everyone a sweet day, finding some of the beautiful memories of your child that live constantly in your heart  wending their way to your mind, and keeping you company throughout the day. 

love and peace,  carol  mikesmomrs 

 

[ericasmom]

Peace in all you do Everyone, as we march to the beat of our hearts under so much weight of missing, remember that they are marching with us.

Special prayers to you Betsy and Shelly as you look at Christmas, your firsts without the Loves of your Lives, making Christmas especially poignant. We surround you and hold you as you go aLong.

Lovingly,

dee

[shellbellsmom]

Christmas Without You

The lights are blinking merrily

The tinsel’s on the tree

It sits there in the window

For all the world to see.

The house is filled with holly

And pinecone scents the air

The Christmas cards keep coming

Each one is hung with care.

The gifts are tied with ribbons red

And topped with pretty bows

I’m done with all the details

As far as Christmas goes.

The fire is softly glowing

I think about your touch

But Christmas isn’t Christmas

I miss you oh, so much.

If I could have just anything

My Christmas wish would be

To wake up in the morning

And find you here with me.

I reminisce our Christmas’ past

The joy and love we shared

Moonlit walks and midnight talks

And ways you showed you cared.

Staring at your picture

I long to be set free

Tonight the tears are streaming

As I hold it next to me.

Flakes of snow swirl through the air

I’m braced for stormy weather

I wait for brighter days ahead

When we can be together.

So hold a place in heaven dear

Someday when life is through

I’ll be the Christmas angel

Who shares this day with you.

Author~ Marilyn Ferguson

This is the poem I plan on using for a note on Christmas Day on Facebook .  Not sure if you have seen this one before.  

[shellbellsmom]

Good new Susannah.   Congrats to Kimmy, wishing her a magical night for her special ceremony.  Bonnie your tree looks great to me….wrong topper and all.  I saw your snow heart shape on FB and thought immediately it looked like a heart….and one that has been broken-must have been a sign from your Jason.  Carol that Mike of yours is sure busy sending all those signs to you and Damon.  Prayers for Hannah and also for Michael. 

Wishing all the travelers safe journeys.  Dee- and Greg…..be safe with that freezing rain they are calling for today in your neck of the woods.  We have sunshine today…very rare for Western Michigan in the winter, so I am getting out and getting my needed groceries for the upcoming days since the ice comes tomorrow for us. 

Survived the sing-a-long sleigh ride yesterday, and the day at our botanical gardens where the last Christmas 06 I was with Michelle…she loved that place so that memory made me happy.  Trying really hard not to be a bummer this year….wish me luck. 

Hoping everyone finds some peace in the next couple days.  For all the parents that are going through their first Christmas without their child sending you extra prayers for strength…you will need it.  Peace and sweet memories.  Sue

[hotrod]

Good Morning Indigos

 

Sue that was beautiful.  I am sure we can all relate  Betsy and Lynn I found just coming here and reading helped to lift my spirits when all else failed.  This is such a bittersweet time.

 

 I am so impressed with the beauty and thought that has gone in to all the Christmas trees that have been posted.   Bonnie, even thought you encountered several problems the tree was perfect and very special.  The decorations with wonderful memories from Jason were so touching.  Carol your tree even if it is not finished looks great with the Little Heart sent by Mike to  Damon.  How special!!!.  Trudi's tree with the new ornament was memorable as was  Dee's description of  decorating with Jon .This all touched my heart.

 

This year the first year I put up a tree alone and it is a tiny table tree with simple lights and unremarkable balls with no memories.  It is a humble start.  You have inspired me so that next year I may try to bring more of Stephen on to the tree,

 

Susannah and Dee loved the Santa and Easter Bunny story.  I always regretted telling Stephen that  there was a Santa.  He looked at me with such pain and said but"I TOLD ALL THE KIDS that MY MOMMY TOLD ME THAT THERE IS A SANTA AND MY MOMMY KNOWS EVERYTHING AND NEVER LIES:"  Wow I still have not recovered from that!!!

 

Dee  thank you for the positive energy and beautiful thoughts for me to take with me this day as  I attempt to participate in the wonder of this season. 

Betty

Stephen;smom:)

[lolynbo]

I DONT NO...AMANDA WAS REALLY FEAKED OUT ABOUT IT..I TOLD HER SOMETIMES GOD DOES HAVE MESSENGERS AND SHE JUST SAW ONE....(I THINK)..SHE SAID SHE WAS SO FREAKED SHE HAD TO LEAVE AND NOW SHE DONT NO IF SHE WILL DATE THIS GUY ANYMORE...I SAID "AMANDA SHE SAID WHEN (NOT TODAY) HE ASKS YOU SAY YES."...BUT WHAT WAS SO FUNNY IS SHE WAS CONCINTRATING ON THE "MARRAGE" THING THAT I SAID "THE TUMOR WONT KILL YOU".....SHE IS SO FUNNY VERY CHILD LIKE..INNOCENT....LIKE MY KOURTNEY LYNN...

 

[hotsauce]

Hello to EVERYONE here at BI

was want to say that i am not posting much, but i am still reading.  this time of the year is really hard for me, first christmas without my angel BRIAN.  and i know you all know how that feels.

wanted to wish EVERYONE a happy holiday season - as happy as it can be.

i hope the new year is better for all of us.

be safe if ANY ONE is traveling.

lots of hugs,

mary ann

BRIAN'S momdukes

[ericasmom]

 Mary Ann, I feel badly that I forgot that this is your first Christmas with your BRIAN gone. I am sorry. Just know that the firsts in my opinion, are the most difficult. I do believe that the second year, while holding its own king of pain in the permanence, still sits gentler in my memories. The firsts were raw and hard to imagine living to a second, but we do, and we find ways to do so, carrying our Sweet Angels with us. Will you spend time at a soup kitchen as you did for Thanksgiving?

Whatever you do, however you spend the holiday, listen and keep an open mind as messages may come in magical ways. I hope so anyhow.

Sherry, time with the Grandies this Christmas? I hope it will be a sweet time of cozy laughter.

Yep, icy rain falling so hopefully my family will travel safely as we all go to my sister Mary Annes tonight.

Be well, got to wrap stuff.

love,

dee

PS thanks Betty, and I am sure glad that you have your tabletop tree, it is a way to get next to the following step. It is like trying it on for size, how does this fit in my new life? Peace Dear One.

[ericasmom]

Here is my deepest prayer, my deepest wish for the world to feel;

Happy Holidays.

[pknight]

Hello All especially Mary Ann! Warm hugs to all!

Pam

Kenny's mom

[ericasmom]

Hello Kenny's Mom, Pam. HOw are you during this holiday season? I hope that somehow, the energy from your Beloved Son is with you, fueling you into the days.

Peace,

dee

[lolynbo]

JUST LOVE IT.....PPL WITH ALL THEIR CHILDREN ALIVE AND WELL...SAYN "JUST GOT THE HOLIDAY BLUES, JUST NOT INTO IT"     THEY DONT EVEN WANNA KNOW HOLIDAY/CHRISTMAS BLUES.....

[nicksdad]

Betsy...Yes, that can very well be the house..how beautiful..

[mysonrich]

 

well Indigos, I stayed home today. Not feeling well, a cold, it figures but i hope it clears up by tomorrow. Took a 4 hour nap. Woke up thinking it was late morning and it was mid-afternoon.

 

I put some more decorations on the tree . I know you all saw this before. Rich and Sarah last Christmas. his new Mac on the left. Wireless keyboard, mouse, super kool monitor.

 

Dan, the house is in Tunkhannock, right on Rt 6. Don't know if you make it up this way often.

 

Greg, the town could probably be the same too.

 

Carol, did you take the photo of the barn?

 

Dee, great message.

 

if the weather is clear I should be "home" tomorrow night.

[mpsmom]

Happy Holidays to all my Indigo Family, I have decided not to take my laptop with me on this trip....... (I hope this is not a bad decision)  ............. I am taking all of Dan's Christmas trees with me and will write our children's names in the sand at the Pacific Ocean ....if I am able to get out to the sand...   My love to you all, have a safe holiday, see you next year.

HUGGGGGSSSS           Marcia    Bethanys Mom Forever

[summergirl]

Hello Indigo's - I took a night off last night, so very tired and trying to get through the Christmas blues, need to concentrate on the happy for Tavian. He is so excited, a friend of mine came by this evening as "Santa Claus", knocked on the front window, the look on Tavian's face brought a big smile to me but no time to get the camera as I didn't know what time he was showing up....so sweet of him.

Well, I am officially on vacation until back to work on Jan 4th.....some good quality time with Tavain.  We plan on going to the movies, playing in the snow and just enjoying some time together.

The snow is still as thick as it was, over 2 feet and it is very cold so not melting, temp supposed to rise over the next few days so hopefully some will go.

Love all the pics that have been posted...memories of days gone by.....memories of new times.

I am praying for all those who are having such a hard time, the first's, the second's and those who have been here much longer. It is my third Christmas without Jessica and it is not so painful as it used to be but never the same.....time does soften the pain but the heart never mends.

Lorrie - sounds beautiful that Kim and Cody are getting remarried.....love it.

I am so blessed to have you all in my life and I know that lately I have not been responding to ALL as I usually do, I can not explain what is wrong with me, I feel as though I just do not have any words right now to offer, no words of wisdom, no comfort to help heal the broken hears.....but I am reading and hopefully after the holidays I will get back to life.

Just want to post a few pics and wish all a Merry Christmas and many blessing.

I love you my friends, Kathy

MISSING YOU MY JESSICA, REMEMBERING THE MANY WONDERFUL HOLIDAYS WE HAD TOGETHER, YOUR SMILE THAT LIT UP THE ROOM AND YOUR HUGS THAT WARMED MY HEART....FOREVER YOUR MOM, FOREVER LOVING YOU.

[summergirl]

MY WISHING WELL, LOTS OF SNOW

[summergirl]

TAVIAN WITH MANY LAYERS ON BUT A SPARKEL IN HIS EYES

[summergirl]

RESTING IN THE SNOW

[summergirl]

JESSICA'S BENCH

[summergirl]

SNOW AROUND BARRY'S TRUCK -- HAD TO DIG THAT OUT!!

[Guest]

Hello Indigo's;

I've had a few good cries today.  One at WalMart of all places.  That's where I was when I got the call to get to the hospital quick.  I've been there a dozen times since then.  Why it hit today I do not know.

We have a winter storm advisory too.  We don't have near as much snow as some of you, though. 

I'm worried about Christmas, now.  I don't want to ruin it for anyone.  And, I don't know if I can deliver. 

I'll just do my best.

Susannah/Stephanie's mom

[lolynbo]

GONNA YELL FOR JUST A MINUTE....SO IF YOUR HAVING GOOD DAY/NIGHT THEN DONT LISTEN...

WHEN THE HELL WILL THIS CHRISTMAS STUFF BE OVER...READY TO THROW THE TREE IN THE ATTIC AND GET MY HOUSE BACK TO ITS DRERRY (SP) SELF....TIRED OF THE CHRISTMAS MUSIC...AND THE HAPPY DAMN PPL..AND THE "FAMILY CHRISTMAS CARDS"...

ANOTHER YEAR IS ROLLIN IN AND IM STILL IN 07' WITH OUT MY GIRL...SHES STILL FREAKN GONE SO ROLL IN 2010....2011...2012...2013 ....2014.....IM STILL IN 07'................ALWAYS WILL BE..

OK IM DONE

[lostwoher]

 Lorri- Im yelling right along with you

The rain we are having sure isnt helping the mood any either. Guess I should be happy that its rain and not snow.

Kids can say the darndest things. Love it

Be safe and enjoy everybody.

Lynn aka Kayla's down and out mom

[ericasmom]

It is nearly 1;00 AM just home for the last 40 minutes, our family Christmas was tonight at my sis Mary Anne's house. What a lot of kids and noise and wonderment. It was a nice night, no one was over the top, no arguing, just happy visiting with one another, lots of food, gifts for the little ones, and laughter. A few tears too when I opened a card from my sisters and nieces and nephews, money for the Erica Reith Fund. On the card, a little angel with a Buster Brown haircut, like Eri when she was just small. So about 250.00 for the fund, what a blessing indeed. Usually if folks contribute, it is in April at Eri's brithday, or in July, the month when she left us. I was so surprised by this and I cried a bit. Just so very kind of them to spend money now? at this time in our lives? Sweet hu?

going to bed, peace to all,

dee

[mikesmum]

Hey all you Northern Hemisphere Indigos.  Its 7.18pm Christmas Eve here.  We have done all the prep for Mal's family gathering. They do a 'breakfast' around 9am.  I have baked the ham, peeled a guzzllion prawns and am making a gluten free seafood sauce for my father-in-law.

Mal has both parents, both sons and a new grandie.  Hard not to be envious.

I am bone weary and tearful.  I find myself hugging Muttley heaps..After a hot shower I will be planting my weary body down till the alarm goes off around 6am.

Lorri - I too am rivetted to Jan 07.  Christmas 06 was my last family Christmas with my three babies together.. 

I want you all to know that you are with me each day. Its knowing you are all here and that Mike keeps such good company that gets me through.

However you make it through the next days, I wish you smiles with memories, kindness without thought, safe travels and knowing that while our 'angels' aren't physically with us, they have truly never left us......listen for the bells ringing.

[align=center]MERRY CHRISTMAS INDIGO'S [/align]

[nicksdad]

Mkesmum...Merry Christmas to you also....

Dee...That is great about the fund, how nice of them. Things like that help me believe that

people do care and will always care..

Betsy... I don't make it to PA as much as I should anymore but I will be having to in the near future.  I know i've been near/thru Tunkhannock before just don't remember how long ago. I am from the Susquehanna area so we usually go up Rt 81.

Bethanys Mom...Have a great trip, not having a laptop I think is a good thing and not a bad decision...