Loss of an Adult Child

[mikesmum]

Colleen - Saw the 787 Dreamliner on the news this am.  How proud you must be being part of this history. 

Greg - Something about having a Rolls Royce Engine, now that gets me interested.

Our town has been hit by yet another senseless car crash.  About midnight Mal was called to a rollover 'in town'.  5 kids aged around 18 got into a Range Rover and took it for a spin.  All had been drinking, the driver a probabtionary licence holder, legally can only have one passenger.

They rolled a number of times, the front seat passenger wasn't wearing a seat belt. Ejected from the 4X4 he was airlifted, his injuries not compatible with longevity. 

I know these stories leave us all with a heavy heart, but by 3am when my ambo husband came home the ripple affect was already being felt.  The driver blew .04 and will face charges of culpible driving (jail). The lives of those in the car will be altered once the cold light of day reveals the extent of their 'joy ride'.  The family of the boy who won't see tomorrow will forever be asking why. 

Apart from it being local kids, it was the tired emotional recounting of the accident by Mal that hit me hardest.  They worked so hard on this boy - his injuries were extensive, his mum having to make the 2hr drive to be with him weighing heavily on Mal's mind.

Its not that they are stupid, or that they intend to injure or kill, its the immortality they believe is theirs, the split second that the don't need seat belts, its the insanity that one heartbeat you are here then the next you are gone....how the heck to we make that something people get?

Mal is sleeping now...fitfully.   This is a heavy post and for that I know I don't have to but I do apologise.  We are all feeling our own loss at this time of year....maybe we can spread the msg that one small thing like the click of a seat belt can be the difference between a treatable injury and a set of angel wings......

 

 

[Guest]

Just checking in.

Mariah has a school play tonight.  I'll try to remember to take the camera.  I'll try to remember to put batteries in the camera.  I bought them.  They are somewhere.

Her step-dad will be there.  We've invited him to join us for Christmas.  The case worker witnessed it and told him he needed to count his blessings because that hardly ever happens.  I responded, "Well, he's part of our family and I love him.  I want to wring his neck, but I love him."  He sad, "I know."

So.........not sure how long all this good Christmas cheer will last.  Hopefully through Christmas day (that would be good).

Wishing you all a peaceful night. 

Susannah/Stephanie's mom

[Guest]

((((Trudi))))

Friendship doubles our joy and divides our grief.  I'm glad you shared.  As you all have told me time and time again.  That's what we're here for.

Prayers for you and Mal (?)  and the new angel's parents. 

Deep sigh!

[heartbeataway]

Trudi,

We had the same thing here in Winchester. A Dad, who had worked for the sheriffs dept for 20 years before retiring. He was driving his 11 year old daughter to school.  His eight year old in the back seat.

He slid on ice and went head on into a school bus.  The bus his 11 year old normally rode to school.

He was killed instantly and when the eight year old was being helped she mentioned her sister that was in the front seat.

They found her in the wreckage somehow in the front floor board area.  She was pronounced at the hospital.  The same hospital where her Dad was currently working as a security guard.

No one was wearing a seat belt!! 

I first heard about this when the chair for our workshop for local foster children was called.  The funeral is going to be Thursday at the church where we are having the workshop on Friday.

We will have to delay decorating.  No big deal.

This is just too sad for words!   Not sure if seat belts would have saved either one of them ...... the damage to the car was extensive.

I know the pain of losing a child.  I can only imagine the pain of losing a spouse and a child and then helping my remaining child heal.  Just when I get a good case of the "woes is me",  I realize that what I've experienced cannot be compared.

Strength for the journey,

Bonnie, Jason's Mom

[summergirl]

Marcia - of course we understand about the "burnout", just take care of yourself, you are always with us.

Long day today....took an EXCEL 2007 course from 8 am to 4:30 pm and it was sooo boring...5 of us in a trailer with computers, a screen to watch and the instructor via the telephone...I thought I was gonna fall asleep by 11 am....I do not think I learned one thing I do not already know....the crazy thing is we DO NOT even have this program in our work computers yet, no idea when we will....welll at least I have the book;)

Dee - the "no sleep virus" is effecting me too, I am so tired in the a.m. when I have to get up I could sometimes just cry....when I get home from work there is no resting as Tavian needs dinner, shower, check homework, read a book and lights out....tha is when I finally sit down and then seems as though I am too over tired to sleep. Wake up many times in the night. At some point the body takes over the mind and we finally get some rest...tough going in between though.

Trudi & Bonnie - I am so sorry to hear the news of another life gone too soon. So true that just when we think our "we" cannot endure anymore we hear of a loss such as the ones you guys have posted.  One loss is more than we can handle it is hard to imagine having to endure the loss of a spouse and child.  The woman on Biggest Loser this year lost her husband and both children in a car accident....I cried each time she mentioned them.    Trudi - so true my friend that the young think only for the moment not for tomorrow, they are invincable. It only takes that one second to NOT do something and another life is gone and those left behind to wonder why their child, brother, sister and those who will now spend the rest of their lives wishing they could go back and change that one second.   My prayers to the families and I pray that Mal finds some peace....what he does is something I could never do and I am proud of anyone who can....the pain that goes along with his job takes a toll on the body and spirit.

When Jessica was 18 she had her first BAD episode, the emergency room doctor told us she had had a "slight heart attack" and they put her in ICU, the next day she was moved to St. Francis heart hospital and was there for 5 days, endured many tests to no avail..no one could find out what caused it.  She came home and within a week she was right back to doing whatever she wanted, acting as though nothing had happened. I would tell her to take it easy and be careful and she would say "mom, I am fine, I feel great and nothing is wrong" - I would get so upset because I was so worried, needing answers and she would say "mom, I am young and I am going to live my life..........AND SHE DID until the day her heart stopped forever.   

To all Indigo's - thinking of each of you, praying for happy thoughts and restful sleep. Dreams that bring some comfort.

Good night, talk tomorrow.  Kathy

 

[mikesmum]

To true Bonnie - I guess we dont realise the depth of loss until we hear of a story like that.

I can't say if seatbelts would have made a difference in that case.  Here we have cut the road toll by half with legislation making seatbelts compulsory and ad campaigns reinforcing the message.

Such a simple 'click' can save lives....

Thoughts and prayers for those left behind to piece together a life now unrecognisable. (sp)

 

 

[lolynbo]

WOW SO MANY SAD NEW ANGELS JOINING OUR BABIES..(THEY WILL ALWAYS BE BABIES)

WANTED TO POST A PIC (IF IT POSTS) OF A CROSS...FOR KOURTNEYS FUNERAL WE ORDERED A "FAMILY" SPRAY AND IT WAS SHAPED LIKE A CROSS HAD BEAUTIFUL FLOWERS ON IT...WELL AFTER THE FLOWERS DIED, (IM NOT CRAFTY FOLKS) I PUT THE DRIED FLOWERS IN A SHADOW BOX AND PUT HER SASH THAT SAID "OUR DAUGHTER" IN THERE..TURNED OUT NICE (IF I SAY SO MYSELF)..

BUT WHAT TO DO WITH THE VINE CROSS...I HAD IT IN HER ROOM, TIL JUST YESTERDAY I PUT WHITE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS AND A STRIP OF PURPLE LIGHTS ON IT...IT IS SUPPOSE TO LOOK LIKE THE CLOTH OF JESUS ON THE CROSS...SO LET ME NO WHAT YOU THINK..(I WAS LATE AT GETTING MY LIGHTS SO NEXT YR I WILL ADD MORE PURPLE AND WHITE AGAIN)

OF COURSE IM GOING TO SET IT OUTSIDE BUT THIS IS N MY HOUSE

[ericasmom]

Hi All,

Trudi and Bon, how very sad that this is what is in your local news. Eri was not wearing a seat belt according to the officers, but being hit by a train probably would not have changed her outcome. I will never know however. I used to really hit home about seat belts too, so why she thought it was a hassle? Trudi, you spoke of how can we make young ones understand that they are as vulnerable as others...I wish I knew. The local high schools  place a crashed car on the lawns of the high school the week before prom, reminding kids about drinking and driving adn seat belts. I don't know that it has much affect, though it has always made me shiver. I think that it may take experiences like those that Colleen took on; addressing the students with a real story that they can google and see that a KID just like them was killed doing what they sometimes do. I think that if a young person wheeled in in a chair and told the story of how she or he can not walk, never will, because they chose to drink and drive or got in a car with a drinker and this is what resulted...maybe if every 15 and 16 year old had a talk with a real someone who aches from the momentary decision of taking a drink and driving, or of not putting the seat belt on, then maybe 10 or 20 kids in the audience maight have an adverse reaction to carelessness and change their ways. That number grows when they don't allow others to sit in thier vehicles without seat belts, and when they refuse to get in cars with friends if they were drinking. It is a situation that will grow more responsible citizens. Bless those families that now have to face the worst loss, and bless Mal and all those first responders as they try to smile into the next day while thier hearts break from who they could not save today.

Susannah, ride with the good stuff, if it extends through Christmas, fabulous. I do think that some ofyour calm right now has to do with your acceptance of sad facts, having the kids with you, and finding us as well. I also think that your faith adn your connection to Step go a long way to seeing you through.

Jon drove to Detroit area tonight as his good friend's Dad is dying soon. Oh Jonathan, hold your heart together knowing that it is a big heart, with plenty of room to hold all of those you love and will love. Prayers for him and prayers for the little girl I told you about that is a former student. Alison is very sick with Chrones, and has had an open wound since August. She has not eaten since then and is sustained on a feeding tube. She is getting worse, there was a fund raiser at a cool store last week, it was entitled; Mothers and Daughters. I went, (hard) and many of my former kids were there, all working on trying to face this illness with hope that Ali will be out one day. Some of what I am hearing is very dark however. Please if you can add Alison to your list of folks to pray for. I ask that she get a new chance, a great chance at healing and being able to leave the hospital one day soon, and to stay out for a nice long time.

Peace

Kathy, I think I have a bug, the tiredness is extreme for me. I am used to having way more energy than this. My eyes ache. A few teachers seem to have similar symptoms. Tonight, i am trying an early bed time. Maybe I will sleep through to 5:30. Deep sleep everyone.

dee

[ericasmom]

Quite pretty Lorri, very nice idea. Still lightless, treeless, we will see what this weekend brings as far as motivation.

Marcia, just know that we love you a ton.

[lolynbo]

OK IM GOING TO POST A FEW MORE PICS..TO MY BI FAMILY..I LOVE LOOKING AT YALS AND HOPE YOU FEEL THE SAME BOUT MINE..

FIRST ONE IS OUR TREE...EVERYTHING ON IT KOURTNEY PIKED OUT WEEKS BEFORE SHE SAID HER LAST WORDS TO ME..(BUT AS YOU ALL NO SHE WAS STILL HERE FOR 7 MONTHS AND 2 DAYS)

 

 

[arc4ever]

Pleasant surprise from an old friend this evening.   Her 18 year old daughter got a memorial tattoo for Adam and for her cousin who died just a few weeks after Adam.  This young lady's mom and I had been close friends and pregnant at the same time.  We took the kids on vacations together just she and I and the kids, we kinda lost track and had a bit of a falling out several years ago, but when Adam passed away, a friend found her for me and she and her daughter drove up for the calling hours, and she has stayed in touch.  Her daughter wanted to do this for Adam.  Funny, three young ladies walking around with Adam's initials on their bodies permanently - I have to smile, it was ALWAYS Adam and the girls.  Most of his friends were girls, and you would see him at the basketball games or football games sitting there with the girls.  My friends would laugh and say "There's Adam and the girls, he's not stupid is he?"  - No my friends, he was not stupid!

Love to all, goodnight (Terrie (Adam's mom)) 

[lolynbo]

FREAKIN LOVE THE TATTOO..

2ND PIC KODY HANGING A GAG GIFT..(MY SISTER BOUGHT SUM NUTS TO HANG FROM KODYS RACE CAR) ...HE WANTED THEM ON THE TREE..I TOOK THEM OFF 2XS SO FAR..HE'S A GOOBER BUT I SHOOOOOO LOVE HIM...AND AND WE ARE WHITE TRASH SO ....

[lolynbo]

LAST ONE I PROMISE (FOR TONIGHT) THIS IS KIMMY WITH HER HAIR DOWN AND SOME EXTENSIONS..SHE IS SELLING THE SHOES ON HER WEB STORE..

SORRY THEY ARE SO BIG IDK HOW TO MAKE THEM SMALLER

[Guest]

So sorry about all the new losses for these families. 

I received one of those phone calls tonight, too.  One of my friend's 32yr old daughter committed suicide two days ago. 

Several years ago 5 teenage boys all snuck out of their own homes to party on the mountain.  Two of the boys were brothers.  None of the parents knew their boys weren't in their beds.  Hours later, the now intoxicated boys drove too fast down the mountain.  Four (both brothers) were killed and one seriously injured.  The only ID the police had to go on was the one driving the car, the only one old enough to drive.  The officer went to his house and told the mother their had been an accident and asked if she could come with them.  She argued, because her boy was in bed asleep. 

She went with them when she realized her sons had stuffed their beds with pillows.  She was too upset, though, to identify the body.  So, her younger son, whom was with her took on the task.  When he positively identifed his brother, the officer/coroner asked if he could help identify the other bodies so they could notify their parents.  "That's my other brother."  The boy answered.

All the parents were notified.  These are boys my son went to school with. 

Maybe the saddest part of this tragic story was the boy who survived.  He and his family are Jehova's Witnesses.  Shawn needed a blood transfusion to save his life.  His family refused.  The hospital got an "injunction" or court order and did the blood transfusion, saving Shawn's life. 

Shawn felt violated or dirty or I don't know what they believe.  His family hardly claimed him anymore.  Shawn also suffered (still does) with survivor's guilt.  He turned to drugs and alcohol and last I heard, his life is still a mess.  That was 10 years ago. 

Why did God take four and leave the one whose religious beliefs contradicted the steps required to save his life?  Why did God take two from one family? 

The "why's" will tear us apart.

My sister buried a husband and two sons. 

I have no idea why I'm sharing this or even if anyone's reading it.........I'm just saying we can't make sense out of it.  We will destroy ourselves trying.

I love the tatoo's!  Three girls - Go Adam!!

I don't remember who posted the picture of Kody!  What a smile!!  Are those what I think they are (what he's hanging?)?  LOL

Kimmy is beautiful!

Love to everyone and I pray you rest well!

Susannah/Stephanie's mom

[rlolheiser]

Here goes again, I hate my computer... but I love the people and angels of Indigo.  I have to come in to get my felowship with you all.  I wish I could get into all the sites you post, but it gets tied up and freezes and drives me more nuts.. and I can't afford more nuts

It has been so cold, I swear myhouse hasn't got any insulation but the husband swears it does.  I guess 26 below just is cold (and that isn't wind chill)... Mom keeps a heater in her room, I gotta let her have more heat, I worry about her.

The dr called again, I took her in for some tests yesterday, they want to do a colonoscopy.  I asked point blank why? She isn't fit for surgery, I have already been told that.  The nurse snipped back at me that a colonoscopy isn't surgery, I snipped back saying anything found would end up being surgery... so why put her through it.  She said she would let us think on it.  I don't know what to think, I am coming down to the fear and understanding I will lose her, and I have to find a way to live with it.  I talk to my siblings and they say.. whatever you think Leah...  but Leah is tired of thinking and making decisions.

I lit my candle for JaBoa, (I always light my candle for JaBoa) but this year I lit another in honor of all the precious angels here.  I am careful where I light my candles as mom is on oxygen. 

My little guy was in his first program.  He was so proud.. but then again I was too.

Dee glad you got your furnace, I can't imagine not having one run.  Ours broke down one day last winter and oh my...  it was terrible.  I try to think of the good I do for people, and really do try to do good, but I see the side of me that nobody else sees, and know my thoughts and wonder if I am as good as I thought.  (that kinda sounds like a mess.. I guess like I feel most times)

My heart cries ... more loss of life..  can't understand, and how I know it will interrupt so many lives around it, I pray for each of them to get through the loss.  How frustratrating it is .... my JaBoa didn't have her seat belt on, but neither did the other 3.. nobody was thrown from the van... 

Bonnie, thanks for the recipe,..  It sure brought back some memories for me.  Thanks too for the kind thoughts.  Jason's site is lovely, and he has some nice friends  doing that for you

Betty, I am really glad you find our signs.  Lately I haven't found them, or listened or seen them.  My son is constantly seeing signs, and I get to feeling sad because I don't see them.  I guess it is like Dee said, little ones are so much more pure and can see the light.

Lorri, Thinking about a wonderful life..... it used to be my favorite holiday movie... and as we all feel it has a lot of ups and downs...  tremendous downs....  OHHHHH  I love the puppies...  I would have a housefull if I could.  I think the cross from Kourtney's funeral looks beautiful, I did something like that with one from JaBoa's but somebody finally stole it after I had changed it out a few times.

Betsy, guess I better be buying some bayberry candles....wish I could win the lotto... I have many friends here I would love to share it with.

Daniel, you really did a beautiful job!  day and night

Terrie, that was a very touching message thank you for remembering the angels here.  That is a really nice memorial tatoo.  I have one for JaBoa, I never had one.. at at the age of 51 I got one put on my left arm, closest to my heart

Carol, wow, I thought the heart in the middle of the wreath was the way you made it (planned).. it is beautiful.

Claudia, your story touches my heart, I know what it is like not to have a lot.  I sometimes feel sorry for myself, but I know there are others out there that don't have what I do so I have to be thankful.  I hope you have a miracle when it comes to your car.

Greg, I am sorry to hear about your computer, I am thankful I still have my old one.

Marcia... Ashton is so cute...  it is hard to believe that 2 weeks has passed already

Sherry, what a sweet picture of Davey

Amanda, I am happy to hear baby is good... 

I guess I should close this book for the night.  I am sorry I got a little long winded, I will try to post more often and I apologize if I missed anybody I should have talked with (though you all are treasures)...  Have a restful night, as my prayers are offered up in your names and your angels names.

Leah/JaBoa's grandm

 

[hotrod]

Good Evening Indigos

 

So good to see all the pictures and here the news.  Sorry for the loss of more precious children. 

Seat Belts, Speed, Young People and Alcohol are often a lethal weapon.  I know Stephen drove fast, without seat belts often.  I prayed every time he went out

 

Lorri Loved the picture of Kimmy, Kody and your tree.  The Cross is very special.  Loved the lights  It is so obvious how much you love Kody and Kimmy, Thanks for sharing that here.

 

Dee  I am so sorry you are tired and waking up during the night.  Take it easy  I do believe it is the Holiday season.  I am praying for Jon as he goes again to support a Friend in grief.  I have included your former student, Alison  in my ever growing prayer list.

 

Marcia  I have been where you are for well over a year  It is always wonderful to see Bethany's beautiful face

 

Terrie  . I loved seeing Adam's smiling face and the Tattoo is special.   Stephen had one very similar on his back .

 

Bonnie  Wonderful about your dream and  Jason's friends sending you the picture of his memorial site .   I really loved  the Dream Catcher, it was beautiful.

 

Sherry  Yes your gentle comments touch my heart also  Loved seeing Daveys Santa Visit.

 

Susannah,  Thank you for sharing your uplifting spirit.  I hope all went well tonight at the play and amlooking forward to seeing some pictures

 

Leah  Great to see you are posting and am glad you are able to come here and post.  It sounds I really cold where you are.  Please stay warm.  God bless you for caring for your Mom.  Whatever decision you make regarding the test will be the best.  Make sure that you rest and take good  care of yourself. I am glad your little guy was in his first production.  All these events are so very special and must be treasured

 

Colleen Great News to be part of history

 

Trudi That was a sad story and I know that it was really difficult for your husband Mal

I will pray for your peace,

 

Betsy  Funny comment about Greg!!!  Hope you are well

 

Beth  Thinking of you and remembering Zachy in my thoughts

 

Carol Hope you have recovered after the Birthday Party and are getting redy for Santa.

 

 

Shelly  Hope breakfast worked out and the rest of the day filled with warmth and calm.

 

Sue, Kathy, MaryAnn, Dan, Claudia and all Indigos  Stay warm and rest easy

 

I just got my new scanner really working on line so I am looking forward to posting some new/old pictures tomorrow,  Love seeing the pictures of all the angels

This is also a book I will need to shorten my post too

 

Betty

Stephen'smom:)

 

 

[Guest]

Good morning Indigo's,

Just checking in to wish you all a good day.  I have a busy schedule today.  Another disposition hearing.  We are expecting another continuance.  We'll have to wait and see.

Blessings!

Susannah

[mysonrich]

double post

[mysonrich]

Well, i was sitting here last night singing the blues when a local TV station ran a fund raiser. The item to buy was a DVD series about the Irish Catholics that came to this region and settled in this area as coal miners. Being interested in local history I knew of the tragic stories of many but when they showed a clip of the little kids working at the coal breakers I figured I would stop singing the blues. 

 

It seems I took too much sick time after Rich died and I now owned my employer money so they took that too.  So I called a dear friend and said " @#$%@#%$%  AND  @#$%@#$.  I understand the why but how about you tell me about this before payday. @#$%$#$@$.

 

This morning as I hung Richie's sled ornament, the only one on the tree as yet, my only thought was, " how can this be. God tell me how can this be"?

 

So to all, I have been reading. I have a day off today so I;ll be back later.

 

Betsy,mysonRich

 

Rich's 1st road trip. Conway NH and the White Mountains in our van " The Midnight Rambler"...so long ago.( other people , holding Rich, haven't seen since then pretty much) Pity party over, for now.

[shellbellsmom]

Prayers for little Ali and Jon being sent your way, as well as Jon’s friends father and their family.  Get better Dee, sounds like you need a day of rest and a good hot toddy (hot tea, honey, and good shot of whiskey)

Leah stay warm….its freezing here too.  Totally understand you when you say “Leah is tired of thinking and making decisions.”  Grief sure sucks the life out of us, doesn’t it…..

 Susannah hope the disposition hearing turns out in your favor.  Lorrie nice pictures of your kids, tree and the cross.  I never get sick of pictures because to me they sometimes say/tell me more than words every could.  When you see a smile/grin, and the twinkle in their eyes you see all the way to their soul. Love sharing everyone home pictures too…make this online virtual postings a little more personable.  Glad you got a new scanner Betty, looking forward in seeing more of your photos. Betsy so sorry about the shortage on your paycheck.  You would think they would have a heart and just give you another check as soon as they noticed it,  especially at this time of year…hope it gets cleared up soon. 

Busy day with therapy and then off to my group support group later tonight.  Need a double doze today…especially with Christmas just days away.  My sister and her family come on Monday from Denver and will be here in Michigan for a week.  Her husband wants their two girls (in college, age 19 and 20) to stay busy everyday and not to sit around doing nothing.  So my sister has planned a weeks worth of Christmas and family activities for them. They assume I am participating in these festivities too… They have us scheduled for sleigh rides at our botanical gardens, ice skating at our outdoor ice arena, Christmas Advent programs, and much more.  All these would sound wonderful if my daughter were here to join us.  She was the girls oldest girl cousin and would drive them around and have a blast with them.  It’s going to be hard….but I will put on my happy mask and play along. 

Here is a picture that was taken one of the times all the girl cousins were together.  She is the oldest one (not the tallest though with the gold shirt turtleneck shirt on.) She just loved those cousins of hers. Sure ready for my therapy now.....take care everyone.  Sue

[ericasmom]

Terrie, love the tattoos, how very lovely to know that Adam is being carried by friends all around the world. While Eri lay dying in Kalamazoo over the 5 more days following the night of her accident, over 80 people took time to go to the tattoo parlors in town. At first no one would believe that Eri would die, but after three days, my heart broken trying to convince them that she could not live from these injuries, they began to get tattoos. The local parlors said, hey whatever we can do to send positive messages to Erica. Eri is on peoples' ankles,arms, backs and neck. She has traveled the world and many have explained her life and her tragic death to others who question the Chinese Symbol and the EER next to it or the Eri next to it. Most of the kids picked the symbol for laughing/loving. I have an engraved necklace that I wear always, given to me by Eri's Godmom, that has the symbol for beautiful daughter EER. I cherish it.

Terrie, that it is cool that you were able to spend some time with an old friend from Adam's youth. Ahhh, connections.

Leah, I know that you are looking ahead with your Mom, it is unavoidable, but do try to allow yourself this day, maybe one hour, to just let it be. I agree with asking the doc about the colonoscopy, if she is not able to withstand surgery if there is something, then why are they wanting to do this. And the prep for this is so very hard on a healthy person that I would think that they should have her in the hospital to do the 24 hour prep.

Hang tight in this cold weather, and know that JaBoa is smiling on your actions.

Betsy, HOLY Cow, that really bites, that the person did not even give y ou a heads-up and that she did this at the holiday time. Major suckage, and I would probably put something in writing to her higher-ups. It sounds like a violation in the work place, an ethics thing. I am sorry Dear. Love that Rich's sled is up.

Lorri, the tree and the photo of Kody with the hilarious ornament...great, and Kimmy could sell the box she is modeling her shoes from, so pretty.

Love to all,

dee

[nicksdad]

Terrie..The Tattoo is great looking and you can tell it's new because it's still puffy. Once that goes down it will be even sharper looking.

[mysonrich]

The behemoth of employer, it moves slow. And might I add, this rant is no way slander of my employer, just the nonthinking manager. and not slander either.And when it comes down to it, because my thought while climbing the deck stairs the other day was, all will be ok.

 

Dee, i do have a sleeping bag, a nice sub-zero sleeping bag for the naps on the floor. Would you like to have it?

 

Leah, at one time I was the one called if my mom was having any medical problems. The reason I moved here after a couple calls that she was going into surgery and I should be there. A five hour drive...this was 2008. I know how hard this is on you and also the prospect's that may or may not be ahead. TO help cheer you up, maybe; I rented a car during one of my"hurry get here "calls about my mom. It turned out they had a red Caddy left. That was it. So I am driving fast on the NorthEast Extension of the Pa Turnpike. I usually follow the lead of the 18 wheelers, slow down when they do..well, in such a hurry I just kept the pedal to the medal and wouldn't you know it, a bear in the woods. A state police woman. I flew by her and she was eating my dust. I can laugh about it now. I just pulled over and waited for her to catch up. Well, one ticket later and I am on my way again. She was a kool stateie. Yes, I know some of which you now live. And it is hard.

 

 

Susannah, courts. Nerve racking aren't they. I hope you have this matter settled today.

 

Terri, neat Tattoo's. Adam has earthly and heavenly friends full of never ending love for your smiling boy.

 

Betty, thinking of you , walking through the city, a flurry of people and light surrounding you. Good to hear you are taking smaller but gentle steps. Right now I think being mad beats the sadness I feel growing.....

 

I'm going to watch soap operas now. They are so ridiculous I can't help but laugh sometimes.

 

Betsy,mysonRich

[lolynbo]

IVE MET A GUY ON FB HIS NAME IS KEVIN MACNAMARA (SP) HE RECENTLY JUST WROTE A BOOK ..HE THINKS IT CLD HELP US ....ITS CALLED  'Do I Have To Cry To Say Goodbye?'....

HES A REALL NICE GUY..HE TOLD ME WHEN I QUIT TRYING SO HARD TO FEEL KOURTNEY I WILL FEEL HER ALL THE TIME...??? SO I TOLD KOURTNEY IM NOT GOING TO LOOK FOR HER ANYMORE AND QUIT WHINEN..TO SEE HER (USING REVERSE PHYC ON AN ANGEL HERE)...SO WE WILL SEE

JUST WANTED TO SHARE WITH YAL THE BOOK...

ALSO WANTED TO SHARE MONTYS DREAM...HE SAID HE AND SCOTT (KOURTNEYS DAD) AND MONTY AND OF COURSE KOURTNEY WERE GOING TO THE RADIATION PLACE..AND SCOTT WAS DRIVIN THE AMBULANCE AND THE AMBULANCE GUYS WERE IN THE BACK TALKING TO KOURTNEY AND MONTY...AND MONTY SAID SHE GOT A LARGE SMILE ON HER FACE AND SAID "DADDY, CAN WE GET A HAMBURGER?"..(HE SAID IN HER EYES HE CLD SEE "SHE WAS THERE"..AND IT FELT SO REAL)...WE ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT WHEN SHE WOKE UP SHE WOULD ASK TO EAT.....HOW I WISH IT WERE TRUE

[arc4ever]

Okay, I have had a few "friends" say some pretty stupid things over the holidays, so I have decided to send out an email to friends and family in the hopes to give them some insight (probably wont but what the heck, if I don't do something I may very well explode!)

Here is the email and I apologize for the length:

With 2009 coming to an end, I wanted to send a note to thank everyone for their continued thoughts and prayers for us.  The second year after losing Adam has been, hard as it is to believe, more difficult than the first.  The shock has worn off and the realization that this has actually happened has set in. 

 

After talking with a few people whom I have met along this journey I have learned that many bereaved parents have experienced the same feelings that we have experienced. 

 

So, after much thought and contemplation, I send along this note to give you an idea of how we are doing and to let you all know we love you all.

 

We are trying very hard to find a way to manage to live.

 

There are some losses that time does not heal.  Ask a parent who lost a child 5, 10, 15, 20 years ago.  I have spoken to these people, I have listened to them and held them when they cried.  The searing pain may soften ever so slightly, but our hearts will never heal.  The pain is always there for a parent who lost a child, just under the surface ready to burst thru at any moment.  It is a daily struggle to keep that demon in check.

 

As much as people really do try to help us, and try to relate to what we are feeling, they cannot unless they have walked in our shoes.  I could never have understood the depth of the pain of losing a child.  We all have imagined at one time or another and thought "oh how awful, how sad for the parents", but the true enormity of the pain is incomprehensible, it cannot be put to words.

 

Our hearts will never heal over losing Adam, he was our everything, our future, our life.  We move forward only because our bodies breathe involuntarily.  If I live to be 100 my heart will not heal it is forever broken and we are changed people. Paul and I both are different people and compounding the pain of losing Adam is the pain we feel because we are helpless to help each other.  We try, but we are watching each other's heart break.

 

I know everyone wants us to live as Adam would have wanted us to.  Well, easy statement to make, but impossible to do.  We cannot.  We do our best to get thru our days, to make some sort of contribution to society.  But we will never, and I mean never feel true joy or true happiness for the rest of our days. 

 

If it were up to me I would sleep for the rest of my days on earth and if I died today - that is when my heart would heal. 

 

The only thing we have are our memories, they bring us comfort, but also sadness and I don't care what anyone says there will always be the sadness the accompanies them.  Sadness over what could have been.

 

I don't know about other parents, I just know about me and Paul and how we felt toward Adam.  Every decision we made from the day that young man was born was for the betterment of our family and for the benefit of Adam.  Adam never expressed that he was entitled to these things.  We tried to raise him to know that it was our job to go to work and make a home and it was his job to go to school, to go to college and to make as best a life as he could to be happy.  Every day Paul and I both told Adam we loved him.  Every day of his life.  For this, we are eternally grateful.  Adam knew he was loved.

 

You explain to me how your heart can heal from losing your only child, from losing out on the pride of attending their graduations, watching your child become an adult, watching them fall in love, celebrating engagements and weddings and grandchildren, from losing your entire future. 

 

We are doing our best just to get out of bed everyday, and every day that we do get out of bed is a small victory.  But that doesn't mean we are okay, because we are not.  If we disappear for a time or don't feel up to talking on a particular day, please be patient with us.  Some days the act of answering the phone is just too much to handle.

 

I do appreciate a quick text or email just to let us know that you think of us.  As much as we hate it, we know that for many others their lives have returned to "normal" (whatever normal is for any of us!).  But for others, many of you included, our lives are forever changed.

 

Thank you and please know that this email is sent out of love, and we hope you will try to understand,

 

Terrie

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[briansdad]

Terrie, well said.

I will make copies for the parents in my group and maybe they can use it next year.

Greg

[shellbellsmom]

Terry sounds perfect to me....I wish I had the courage to do something like this too....or at least express some of my thoughts as you did in this letter.  Sue

[mikesmum]

Terrie - Your words are so true, from the heart of experience.  It will still confuse those who will never 'get it', but should go along way to bring an understanding to those who try.  The ripple affect of taking Adam from your world permeates throughout your life eternally.

I have this 'vision' of Adam checking out the girls with the tatts - "wicked".

Betsy - I went back to work about 3 weeks after Mike died.  Within the first hour I was asked to sign my 'leave forms' covering time off.  One was for compassionate leave "you know for the day you left early and that week when you didn't complete your rotation".  The others "annual leave cause you only get 3 days compassionate leave" and oh yeah "leave without pay cause you ran out of annual leave when you were off in Nov 06" (after having ovaries removed)!  I know it was paperwork that was cluttering her desk but give me a break.......Its a Duhhhhhh moment in time.  I love the pics, cutest little guy.

Sue - picked her straight out.  Amazing how being here, talking and posting pictures we come to know each others children on sight.

Betty - its so true, they believe they are built from titanium, bulletproof running on adrenaline and at times alcohol.  Looking forward to seeing more of the life of Stephen.

Dee - Hoping your fatigue is easing and your mind allows you to rest.  I do have an image of you wrapped in a 'blankie' a little drool dripping from the corner of your mouth lying on the floor of your classroom with a bunch of wide eyed kids just staring....Take care sista - your in my heart always.

Susannah - Thoughts with you today as you face another day in the courts.  I took all my BI family with me when I attended. Thinking of all these strong parents gave me strength when all mine was gone..

Lorri - Love the tree and ornaments & the lights on the cross.  Just exactly is the ornament your boy is 'hanging'?

Youngest son is still working here in town..No I haven't completely hugged the stuffing out of him, but I do find myself just wanting to look at him, drink in his 'living'.  Crazy huh.  He might miss out on the house he wanted.  They are able to borrow a certain amount, but there is a gliche in the works.  He seems calm, Que Sera Sera....if its meant to be....

It must be Christmas......here we have airline strikes, postal strikes and the news filled with the Climate Change conference where the only things they agree on  is the entertainment, food, accomodation and that everyone else has got it wrong......jeeeezzzz!!!

We asked Mal's youngest if there was anything they needed (we were referring to the baby) without blinking an eye his GF said - 'a fridge'.  I noticed they had one but was told 'its not big enough'. Heading home in disbelief I thought the matter was closed...but no.  Two nights ago at 9:45pm when the bad news fairy does her work the phone rang.....'can we borrow $500 for a new fridge, if not I'll ask grandma"....I **** you not people......

Cooling down here....still  grumpy.   :?

 

[ericasmom]

Terrie this letter will go a long way to helping those who care about you understand that you are always changed by losing Adam. It is a brave action to take with your people but a good one. Perhaps changing the way that others perceive what it is we go through will allow a more compassionate world one person at a time.

Trud, did someone take a photo of me drooling in the corner? TODAY I feel great. I slept from 9:15-6:00 with a pee stop but back to sleep intstantly. This hasn't happened in quite a while. Feels so good when it does. Holy Cow. My eyes are a bit tired but I am feeling back to my old self. I did say old.

Just read a MEMO from our fearless leader, superintendent. She states that there should be a mutual respect between the administration building and the 10 schools. Yes, there should be, but when you have people making six figures adn have no idea what it is we do each day? When the head of human resources treats folks like the dirt on her shoes/ the woman lied to me and nothing happened to her. Mutual respect, I would say that there is now a mutual disrespect and that is sad because it was not liek that when our old superintendent was here. It was not all rosy, but it was not underhanded either, it was all honest. Oh well, I will try to get along and not get too frustrated, two more days before 14 off. I really need the break and I am well aware of how lucky I am to have it.

My heart Kids,

dee

[briansdad]

[user=7435]ericasmom[/user] wrote:

Just read a MEMO from our fearless leader, superintendent. She states that there should be a mutual respect between the administration building and the 10 schools. Yes, there should be, but when you have people making six figures adn have no idea what it is we do each day? When the head of human resources treats folks like the dirt on her shoes/ the woman lied to me and nothing happened to her. Mutual respect, I would say that there is now a mutual disrespect and that is sad because it was not liek that when our old superintendent was here. It was not all rosy, but it was not underhanded either, it was all honest. Oh well, I will try to get along and not get too frustrated, two more days before 14 off. I really need the break and I am well aware of how lucky I am to have it.

My heart Kids,

dee

Dee,

I had a friend of mine marry a gal who was dumber than dirt. She got a job teaching gifted kids. And Lord knows I have no idea how she was placed in that position.Maybe they figured that would be where she could do the least damage. She ended up being assistant superintendent making 6 figures. So I guess it proves if you can't teach they send you to administration. The stories I heard about her admin abilities Whooo Boy. Yet they kept her on. Go figure.

[hotsauce]

hello EVERY BODY, i hope you all had a good day!

TERRIE,  perfect..........................

hope EVERYONE has a good night!:?

 

mary ann                                                                                                                        

BRIAN'S momdukes

[lolynbo]

IDEA::::: JUST WENT TO THE CEMETARY...AND THERE WAS SOMEONE THAT HAD BROUGHT A FULL SIZE REAL TREE TO THEIR LOVED ONE..LOOKED REALLY NEAT...MAY DO THIS NEXT YR

[hotrod]

Good Evening Indigos

 

I am going to post early today so my posting is not too long  As usual I was so impressed by each of you today.

 

Terrie your letter was so very powerful.  It truly expressed the depth of your loss and did so with dignity and clarity.  I understand what it is like to loose an only child and am so glad that you have the memory of saying "I love you"  daily to Adam.  A very special time.

 

Betsy  I too change my feelings of sadness  into anger often.  It helped because I could vent and then resolve the issue and move on.  I hope your mindless TV shows did the trick.  I watch police shows to take me away.  Criminal Minds, Law and Order  and NCIS my favorites.

 

Susannah  Hope court went well and that you stayed warm and in  control.  You are so very brave.

 

MaryAnn  Good to see your post and your smiling angel Brian.   Makes my heart happy.

 

Trudi        Please do drink in the "Living"  and hug the stuffing out of Steven.  I hear you about the Christmas requests .  Walking on a mine field and it can  get out of hand!!

 

Brian and Dee  I hear you about administrators.  I just want to add that leaders who are incompetent are not limited to the teaching profession.  I worked for several arrogant, bosses who knew nothing but were  reimbursed 7 figures plus bonus each year.  One of the reasons I decided I would not go back to work.  Could not work for them again. 

 

 I received a Christmas card today  from an Old Boss and His Wife.    He is probably  close to 90 and was a WW 2 Fighter Pilot . He had great  dignity, class and work ethic and was admired by all.  The new regime came in and he was fired after 40 years with the Company.  His retirement party was the largest in the History of the Company.   I understand how you feel.

 

Sue Loved the new Avatar  The pictures with Santa are priceless.

 

Lorrie  Thanks for the name of the book. I start my day each day by going to Stephen's memorial site, listening to the music and going thru the pictures and the candles people have left.  I  feel close and connected to him on the site. 

 

Could not scan today  Started to look at old pictures and became very melancholy so I stopped.

 

I hope Carol, Claudia, Leah, Beth, Shelley,Kathy,Sherry  and all Indigos are warm and safe. 

 

Have a Blessed Night

 

Betty

Stephen'smom:)

 

[Guest]

Hello Indigo's;

I'm exhausted.  And, we have 19 mnth old Kaylee and 9 mnth old Curtis for a few hours, too.... :shock:

:shock: We should be rejoicing because court went our way, but it was kind of sad and it's a long way from over.  The judged said he sees no reason to continue to try to reunify the kids with their dad.  He said he was ruling in favor to waive reunification and allow Gary and Susannah to either adopt or become guardians of the kids. 

That's a huge win, of course.  There will be another MDT and another court date and the defense promises to appeal....we are told this could take years.

However, I believe we have Stephanie on our side and hopefully she has some pull up there.

Like the letter, Terri.  Good job.

Hoping you all get some much needed rest.

Susannah/Stephanie's mom

[daveydow1]

Leah---So good to see JaBoa's avatar. What a sweetheart. Also, thanks

for your kind words about Davey's pic with Santa. I'm lucky that I was able

to find it in all the uproar of moving stuff. Peace to you, friend.

           Davey&Lisasmom,  Sherry

[daveydow1]

Susannah---Glad it went in your favor at court. Bless the two children.

 

Betty----I ,too, watch TV to take me away from the sorrow. Movies mostly,

and other things like travelogs, and Nat'l Geographic shows. Whatever it

takes-------to give some respite from the "blues". 

 

[rlolheiser]

It was actually 34 degrees today...  It has been awhile, it makes the day a little more tolerable.  I started out the day bad and got in a fight with my hubby...  I can't even say what it was about, I guess the pressures of Christmas.. and mom  got to the best of me.  He asked me what we were getting our boy for Christmas, and I asked him what am I supposed to shop with...He doesn't see that we make it from month to month...  frustrating... I love him, but he doesn't see things the way I do.. I take care of him, and he doesn't have to deal with the bills etc...  I guess it is just part of being married.. it is silly cause I am not used to fighting with him..  it doesn't effect him the way it does me, cause half an hour later he was volunteering me to babysit one of the nephews kids...  he is 2.. I did it, but I didn't want to...  poor little guy.. I think I did ok with him, he followed me everywhere.

Betty, good luck with the scanner, I want to try to put mine on my old computer here but I am not sure I know how to, I guess I gotta try.  I have lots of old pics, but not much digital.  Thanks for caring, I am trying so hard to take care of me.. there just isn't a lot of time left over, I used to be really good at time management, but lately I haven't been good at managing anything.

Betsy, great pics of 1st road trip, lots of memories, sorry to hear your singing the blues.. I guess we have to do it now and then, hugs and I hope things go beter.  Ouch, a ticket too...  thanks for sharing.  It does help to know I am not the only one that is going through or has gone through this stress...  I catch a couple soaps once in while, in between waiting on people.  I don't get to sit through a whole one, but it does give a laugh once in awhile.

Sue, Michelle is such a lovely girl, I am sure the cousins miss her too.  Brings me memories of JaBoa with her cousins, they had such a special bond.  I agree that grief sucks the life out of us, but sometimes lately it seems like life itself just sucks (sorry.. guess it is just one of those kind of days)  I hope you somehow find some joy in the festivities your stuck with, I just don't know any easy way to handle things we have to do.

Terrie, wow, what a letter, I think it is beautiful, and something people need to hear.  Your love for Adam will always be strong.

Dee, I am glad you get your break, it is earned, and needed, but I bet you miss it before your 14 days are over.

Trudi, it isn't crazy to look at your son and drink in his 'living'...  I know when my daughter lived close by I probably called her to much... I needed to see her see her kids...  I told her when I got to be to much to let me know, but she knew my heart was broke and tried to put up with me.

Susannah, I am glad things are going well for you and the kids...  do try to rest, I know it can get draining on you...  as much as you might think, your not superwoman.. only close  I am glad Stephanie is keeping watch.

Sherry, thank you, she is my sweetheart...  I hope you get organized.. I know how thrilled I feel when I find pictures I haven't seen for awhile.

Ok...  I guess I better go, I am tired and gotta grab the sleep when I can... 

good night friends, I wish you a restful sleep.. and dreams of your angels.

Leah/JaBoa's grandma

 

[summergirl]

Hello Indigo's = quick tonight as I am TIRED....long couple of days at work and home. Had a fun night with Tavian....he is practicing "break dancing" and "standing on his head"  -  to funny. Need to get my camera working.

Terri - absolutely beautiful letter and I pray that those who receive it may have their eyes opened a bit more.

I am sorry, I read all the postings but at am a loss for words to reply to them but please know I think of all of you, some times with laughter, sometimes with tears but always thinking of you.

Have a restful night and talk tomorrow. Much love and peace, Kathy

[mysonrich]

Sherry, I wanted to comment on Davy's picture, he looks so excited ! Bright eyes. And I watch travel, the Steve guy on PBS stations. He makes it look so easy.

 

Leah, I can't believe that after 20 years Brooke and Taylor are still fighting over Ridge on B&B. Isn't there another guy in town?  Try to stay warm.

 

Sue, great picture of Michelle with santa.

 

Cold 22 right now. making chili tomorrow.

 

Good night all, hope you all sleep well.

 

Betsy,mysonRich

[mikesmum]

[user=27668]mysonrich[/user] wrote:

Sherry, I wanted to comment on Davy's picture, he looks so excited ! Bright eyes. And I watch travel, the Steve guy on PBS stations. He makes it look so easy.

 

Leah, I can't believe that after 20 years Brooke and Taylor are still fighting over Ridge on B&B. Isn't there another guy in town?  Try to stay warm.

 

Sue, great picture of Michelle with santa.

 

Cold 22 right now. making chili tomorrow.

 

Good night all, hope you all sleep well.

 

Betsy,mysonRich

OMG!! you'd think they'd run out of interfamily marriages wouldn't you??  Aren't the other guys all related to Ridge???     I clicked on to DOOLS and there was the original Julie (mum to Hope).  No joking she was a teenager in the series when I was 15 - and for those trying to do the maths......long long ago in a galaxy far far away (lol)

Dee - Those who can teach those who can't get paid shite loads to fudge around.  Nursing is similar here - those practical nurses who work their butts of for better patient care and outcomes are under the regime of those who would find it hard to smile let alone care.........just a small vent  - better now.

 

[zachysmom]

Well trying to get in the spirit of the holiday. Went out to target and bought a small tree and solar christmas lights. I am charging the lights so we can put the tree up tomorrow afternoon at Zachys' site. Will buy some ornaments for it also. Zachy loves christmas. All the ho - ho lights and rudolph and who can forget Santa. I will post a picture asap.

Had yet another medical appointment today. Yet another ultrasound to try to figure out why I am in pain. The er in november told me ovarian cysts. Turns out it was only one and only 2.5 cm. The ultrasound today showed that and more. Now I get to add to it fibroids and some other things she marked and measured but didn't tell me what they were. So now comes the waiting game.

This was at the bottom of my bowl of cherries tonight.

[ericasmom]

Goodnight All, so good to see your Baby-Dolls faces smiling out as we find our way through the day, or perhaps through the DAYS OF OUR LIVES...

Greg and Trud, yes, the folks that push paper and send out documents filled with scanned crap from the internet and don't even print it two sided, tree haters. Well I did write an email and cc. to my immediate boss, my principal. I know she won't love me for it, but I am no longer able to keep in my opinions when it comes to wasting time and overtesting children, so oh well, call me what you will. I stand by my convictions and my instincts into children and their needs. After a break, I will be ready to organize some parents and teachers to stand up at the board meetings and question the ethics of those in charge.

Susannah, good news for your family, I am glad of it.

Leah, sometimes we just argue, that is human nature even if it isn't your 'normal' nature, it does happen. I agree, if I argue with someone, I am out of sorts for hours, if it is unresolved, then so am i.

Wrapped room parent gifts tonight. I buy jars of wonderful jams and preserves at the last Farmer's Market each summer for the room parents. It is nice to have a taste of summer in the winter, and the farmer is from western Michigan so it is quite nice. Cherry peach is my favorite one.

Remind me to tellyou guys about the surprise we are planning for our music teacher on Friday at our BIG Winter Program.

Until then,

sleep time, so sweet ones to  you all,

dee

[hotrod]

OMG Beth

That is a perfect heart  NO doubt a gift from your angel Zachy.  Getting the tree and solar lights today was great.  I am looking forward to seeing the pictures.  I am sure it will be beautiful

Betty

Stephen'smom:)

 

 

[lostwoher]

hahahaha soap talk! wow i havent watched that one in years. sounds like the same story line as always.

Im so jealous of everyone getting signs from their angels. Its been awhile since I recieved any. Maybe just too lost to notice.

I have the day off tomorrow so decided to keep the vehicle while Randy works and Im going to 'try' to do some shopping. It didnt work out very well the last time but Im going to give it another try. Dont really have anything to shop for except a new winter coat and Randy wants to hang stockings on the electric fireplace so hoping to be able to find a Minnesota Vikings one for him. That wont be easy here in Illinois.

Lorrie- I noticed on facebook what you wanted for xmas so the best I can do is post a pic or 2 if it works:

[lostwoher]

my son's teacup chichuachua (sp)

[mikesmum]

Awwwww baby - aren't just the most precious thing....thanks for the pic, smiles smiles smiles....

[Guest]

Good morning Indigo's,

I've been looking up Wy statutes and laws.  When this whole thing began I didn't know the difference between a civil trial and a criminal trial.  I know a little bit more now.  I hope to be able to forget it all very soon!

Beth - I hope your tests come back negative.  You don't need anything else to worry about right now.  (so says me  )

Wishing you the best day possible!

Much love,

Susannah/Stephanie's mom

[mysonrich]

Trudi, Nick may not be related but he is running out of sisters and their daughters.

Carol, where are yoouuuuu?

the chili is in the crockpot and I even remembered to plug it in. A brisk 21f, -6C Trudi?

Have a peaceful day

Betsy,mysonRich

 

[lolynbo]

THANKS LYNN..THEY ARE SO CUTE..I WANT  A LONG HAIR FEMALE...BUT I NO I WANT FEMALE FOR SURE..MONTY WONT LET HAVE ONE BUT MAY DO IT ANYWAYS..HE CAN BITE ME...LOL

[mikesmomrs]

Hi all Indigos:  I have been living inside my computer for the last 3-4 days...I decided at the last minute to make a "photo book" for my sisters and brother.  We don't have a lot of family photos left, and they are pretty scattered, but I have some that others don't, and thought I would get them to them and decided the photo book would be the ticket.  It turned out really great, but oh, my goodness (or "doodness" as Damon would say), it totally ate up my life for this past week (I started it on Sunday)  I wound up with 20 pages, but 67 pictures.  I had to re-format all of them, put them at a higher resolution, and on one, I had to change the glasses on my sister Julie in one picture...the picture was angled askew somehow and she looked like something from a cartoon!  I don't think she would have liked that....I started the book out with a pic of my mom and dad, and the last page is the ONLY pic in existence (or, likely ever taken) with 9 of the ten of us (8 kids, mom and dad), all together.  My oldest sister wasn't in it, as it was her wedding and she was at the other table.  Hubby put her on the side of the pic, so she would "be there."  I will post...it is pretty funny, and cute at the same time. 

So, I have MISSED my Indigo family...,I was going to log on a couple of time (I did, but only read sparingly), but I knew I really needed the time to work on the book as I wanted it to be ready by Christmas.  Of course, there are just too many posts to "catch up" but you all know how that goes, and I know you all understand. 

We took Mike's wreath to his memorial site yesterday...it ws bitterly cold, but sunny (24 degrees).  I sat there for a bit, thinking how sad it is that we even have a reson to be there (any of those there, not just me), but of course, knowing in my heart that life is what it is, and it always ends in death.  The "too soon" deaths are surely hard to take, though, aren't they...Anyway, I hope he likes it, and knows that my heart is there with it, for him. 

Yesterday, I spent the day in the car with Davis...HE HAS A CAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Yay, yay, and yay again!  He found a beautiful little Hyundai, 2002, Sonata, with every little bell and whistle he could hope for.  It has a total of 3 small scratches on it...pristine condition.  It's loan value was 5300.00, and he only had to pay 2950.00 for it.  He is over the moon, and so are we!  I enjoyed spending the time with him, but carrying him to and from for the past couple weeks has really worn us out!  I am so thankful though, that we were able to do it for him.  YAY!

I have been thinking of all of you, of course, praying for all of you.  The many little and big things that we do and go through each day are a part of each other here, and we all know that we have kindred spirits everywhere. 

Beth, I loved the sign from Zachy...the heart at the bottom of the bowl of cherries.  Damon came over the other day, and Mike's wreath was still hanging on the wall.  He asked me why "those toys" are on that decoration...(we have a star wars and GI Joe figure on it), and i explained that this wreath was something we made to help us remember his daddy...and those were some of his daddy's favorite things.  I held him up to see it face on, and he said "Oh, there is a heart in the middle!"  My heart was tickled that he recognized it right away...he and I look for hearts everywhere when we are out, and some day, when he is older, I will tell him why I think we see them. 

Got to go...need to mail the packages to my granddaughters so they will get them in time. 

please know that you are each in my heart, every day...sending love to all...  Will write more tonight. 

my sister Dorothy's wedding...1955  (she is now 82)

Hubby put my sister in the corner, so she would "be in" the pic also.

From left to right, around the back first:  My sister, Dorothy (insert), mom, dad, brother Jim, me, brother Sam (deceased), sister Julie (deceased), sister Barbara.  across the front, left to right, sisters Marie (deceased) and Mary (she was Dorothy's maid of honor).  This seems like so long ago, and yet, like yesterday.  I so hope they like the book. 

this is my sister Dorothy now:  isn't she beautiful?  She and my sil, Betty, went with some "girls" for glamour shots this past summer...the guy doing the makeup told Dorothy "Don't need to do anything with you, sweetie."  So cute!  (ps, she has never used hair dye!)

love and peace, Carol