Loss of an Adult Child

[briansdad]

What great smile Adam had. You can tell he loved life.

Greg

[mikesmum]

Terrie - Oh yeah, that is one life hugging boy!  And judging by the pics comes from a long line of truly connected people.  Thanks for sharing...love the pics, they add that next dimension to our kids and us.

Carol - I think Mal loves being at work this week, so much crap everywhere with no real plan  in place to see an outcome.  It is great not to be looking at surgery, my splint is purple, so like a spoilt child I'm happy.

Sue - You have every right to be proud of Matthew.  I guess in someways he is right about the jobs not being thick on the ground, but you are right, it might also be success tinged with sadness.  Pre law ain't no craft class though, he deserves to be proud of his success.  

Betty - Changing Avatars, well I guess we need to sometimes.  Mikes goes from the clean shaven, short back and sides boy to the long haired bearded one.  All of them my boy, my heart.

Dee - I was watching a special on PBS news (america) about the testing of students and the closing of schools throughout the states.  No wonder you are worn out!  Its seems, as most things are, all about the money.  Hope there is enough sun to drink the Vitamin D in - Meerkats meerkats meekats. 

Lynn - Muttley has his facebook page and mine is now lost.  No access.  Because the grandies and I set it up to my email, they somehow replaced my login with Muttleys. 

As for the Muttley Dog.  I swear he believes he is one of my children.  He understands, Treats, Car, Walk, 'Nite' and going to bed.  After the pic was taken it was "get this damn hat off me".

Ambulance Christmas BBQ in the park today, weather permitting.  Borrowing grandbabies to keep me busy......tough day, seeing the paramedics that attended Micheal.  That day changed so much in all our lives.

Sending you all sunshine from the South......Trudi

[lolynbo]

IS ANYONE RELATED TO A LAWYER THAT WORKS CHEAP...OR JUST NICE PERSON AND WANTS TO GIVE OUT INFO FOR FREE....ABOUT NON PROFIT????????????

[ericasmom]

Lorri, I will ask my husband if he knows much about nonprofits. He is kind of good with many topics.

Terrie, Adam is so adorable, his wide arms encircle you all, his wide smile causes everyone to smile back, and his wide reaching heart? A constant. Thanks for posting, how cool to see Adam with extended family. Could it be that he resembles his Grandpa very much?

Sus, it is very hard; this Christmas thing, figuring out just how one is suposed to be productive when the so much feels shattered. We are made of shards of something that once was whole that first year, the second sees some of the pieces finding a bit of puzzle fitting, but it hurts, all those pointy edges nothing smoothed or rounded at that point. I stand here now to promise that one day your heart will be whole again, and the scar tissue will be the badge of all the work you have done to get to that point. It is a lot of work, it is a huge strain on one's body,mind,soul,spirit, and instinct. Never the same, but made new from so much work, so much toil, you will walk in the sun again.

Promise.

The music show was a HUGE HIT, and MR. Jacobosen was so very touched, he began to laugh after I spoke on the microphone, and then as more and more kids marched in wearing the tuxedo shirts, he laughed and laughed. The show was beautiful, I will try to post some of that.

My heart to you all, I AM POOPED!

love,

dee

[daniellemom]

Dee - So glad to hear that the musical went so well.  Sleep well tonight.

Chris' Mom- I'm so sorry for the lost of your son Chris, he is very handsome.  Right now the most important thing is to do what you can and what you can't don't worry about it.  Drink plenty of water and sleep when you can.  My prayers are with you.

It's snowing here they  say we will have 12 inches in the morning.  So I'm hoping that it will be gone Monday and it shopping til I drop Monday and Tuesday.

James made it home!  The tree is now decorated!

Congrats to Matthew, tell him I said great job!

Who was asking for help with a bow I think that you are a pro!  The wreath looks great!

Trudi - That is an ipod in Danielle's ears she was forever listening to music.  Mostly rap but she would listen to everything.

Terrie - Love the pictures of Adam, what a ham!

Talk to you all later.

Sonya (Danielle's Mom)

[shellbellsmom]

Lorrie, we may be of some help.  We are currently in the process of getting our 501C status (non-profit/ tax exempt) for the Michelle Lunn Hope Foundation. We are currently in the pending stages with the IRS (they had cashed our check) and are waiting the 90 days they told us to.   We used my cheap nephew who is an attorney (worlds slowest/ but can't complain as it didn't cost us a thing).  We are pretty familiar with the process- long involving the IRS.  Shoot me a PV and maybe we can answer some of your questions.  My husband and son studied this for months along with my nephew. 

http://www.mlhope.org - Our Foundations website. 

Terrie, love your family photos....looks like you have a crazy family like mine is.  Your Adam is so precious...love his red hair.  Any Irish iin him? 

Take Care, Sue

[Guest]

This morning the police were on a high speed chase.  The light changed and the mother with her two small children pulled into the intersection.  The "get away" car T-boned her at 55 miles per hour.  Quickly backed up and went around..continuing his get away.  The three police cars that were in pursuit kept chasing him.  Not one stopped.  All three are critical.  One small child is more seriously critical than it's sibling and mother.

I'm so angry.  And, I'm so heartbroken!  Please pray for them.

[Guest]

I found this ornament today.  I couldn't wait until Christmas eve.  My biggest regret is that I didn't take any pictures of her with us in the six weeks since she got home from rehab.  Not one.  I refuse to beat myself up over it, though, because there's nothing I can do about it.  The picture in the heart frame is the most recent taken by Mariah in July of this year.  We'll see if I do this correctly. 

PS - The five yr old child was air lifted to Denver from the accident. 

 

[Guest]

Stephanie at the park with her kids July 2009

[Guest]

Our Golden Retriever, Shelby.  3 yrs old this January.  Badly  in need of a bath and brushing. 

[Guest]

Okay.  last one.  Little Curtis who had about crawled out of his p.j.'s to get to the tree.

[Guest]

Okay - this is the last one. 

My girl's ashes......She sits in the curio cabinet among my collection of angels.  The nativity set sitting on her was given to me by my sister who died in April of last year.  Tomorrow my mother will have been gone for one year. 

I'm grateful you are all here.

[ericasmom]

Susannah, no need to stop posting these wonderful artifacts of your life, of Stephanie's life. how nice to see her beautific smile as she pushes the children on the swing. What a blessing that she found her feet on the ground again after so long a time floating off, and she knew, her kids knew, you knew, that somehow life made sense again. I am sorry that right now it doesn't make sense but...and it is a big but, because she found a way to have feet on ground and her heart and her common sense working together to cause in her joy and a return to motherhood,  everyone in the family knew that she was back. It was a gift, certainly brief, but good.

Love,

dee

[Guest]

Thank you, Dee.

By the way, Stephanie died on my sister's birthday....the sister that died last year.

[summergirl]

Hello all Indigo's - my night with Tavian but I wanted to stop in and say hello.   I love, love all the pics that have been posted, so beautiful, warms my heart.   The wreath is gorgeous, great job.

Trudi - that Muttley is just the most adorable doggie I have ever seen;)

Total meltdown while making a snack for Barry to take to the Christmas party, one minute standing there and the next the tears are falling, I am sobbing.....Barry came to the kitchen and just put his arms around me and then I totally lost control....I have to say that sometimes a SUPER CRY is what I need to help release the pressure of the pain that builds as each new day passes.

Tavian is waiting for me so I must say good night, I love you all and promise to catch up with everyone......right now Tavian comes first....it's party time;)

hi it is tavian its party time:dude:    (had to let him write something)

Sleep well and sweet dreams my friends. Kathy

[ericasmom]

Tavian, go to bed young man. I am a third grade teacher, and I say go to bed.

What's that you say, it is Friday you don't have to.

Well...I guess you are right, you don't have to go to bed for any reason like school. So have a blast, it is PARTY TIME! Did you know that teachers like party time too? It is true. I am dancing because I have two weeks off of school, PARTY TIME!!!

[ericasmom]

Sus, my Momma died the summer before my Daughter. Two women two generations of women. I think what I have learned to focus on is that My Girl died at a time in her life when she was quite happy, she and I shared a phone call not 30 minutes prior to her being hit. There was happy in her voice, and in her life, she was happy. Right before the phone rang that  fateful night, I said to my husband, " Eri is in a good place right now, she is happy and I can hear it in her voice, and that makes me feel so good." SO even though the very worst thing occurred, I know that she was in a good frame of mind, in a positive mode, and that goes a long way to helping me over the hardest times.

Kathy, yep, crying is a pressure valve, and when you let it out, the pressure is released. It is not a sign of weakness, I know that you know, but a sign of knowing when to release what has you in a ball of knots.

MUTTLEY< come on Mr. Muttley, sit, stay, get in an outfit...good dog. Trudi, he is as cute as can be.

Like the Golden too, and he does not need a bath according to the photo Susannah.

[Guest]

Hi Tavian!  Party on!!  Merry, Merry Christmas, Mr T!!

Susannah/Stephanie's mom

[Guest]

That's so true, Dee!  I hold onto the fact that Stephanie was happy when she died.  Well, now I've proven myself to be a liar.....one more picture.  Gary just took it.  So, this is what I look like right this very minute. 

Stephanie's kids and I cuddling in the "grieving chair".  I'm cuddled in my portable, electric blanket.  This is where I can usually be found. 

Susannah/Stephanie's mom

[daniellemom]

Susannah - Great pictures!  Stephanie's kids are beautiful.  I love the chair it's big enough for everyone.  I need one of those.  my little one Mattie always wants to sit with me in my chair and it's getting smaller each day. 

Dee - as always your words are so true.

Kathy and Tavian - Party on!!!  Kathy I think you are so right about crying releases something that we need to let go and cry when we want to.

James and Mattie are wrapping presents tonight for their grandma's tomorrow night.  She lives across the road so the snow will not stop us.  If I had to guess right now the Christmas play will have to be postponded to a later date.  We don't get snow very often and when we do we close everything down.  My lights just blined a few minutes ago so I'm praying we will not lose power tonight. 

Talk to ya tomorrow!

Sonya/Danielle's Mom

[ericasmom]

Sonya, cuddle up next to James and Mattie, and have a flashlight ready in case you need it. I heard that the storm hitting the mid-Atlantic States will be the biggest in 6years. Wow! Hang onto your hats, first find them and wear them. Mattie may love this. I am glad that your James is home, and that you haven't far to go to celebrate.

Sus, you are cuddling right now, what a nice feeling to know that as I sit here, bleary eyed, you are cuddled and warm with the Kids. May you all sleep well and dream sweetly.

Love,

dee

[Guest]

Dee - I just want to say you are so sweet!  You really are. 

[lolynbo]

hi it is tavian its party time:dude:    (had to let him write something)

HI TAVIAN ITS GAMMY LORRI...U STAY UP AS LONG AS U WANT AND EAT WAHTEVER U WANT....

MUTLEY IS CUTE...BUT COME ON MY SHITZUS GOT MAD WHEN THEY HEARD MUTLEY WAS BEST DOG EVER...LOL

IM LIKE THE GOLDEN I NEED A SHAMPOO AND BRUSHING...LOL WE NOT ONLY HAVE THE BEST LOOKIN KIDS WE HAVE THE CUTEST DOGGIES...

WENT TO CHURCH CHRISTMAS PARTY AND I HAD MONTY WEAR A SHIRT  (CHRISTMAS) FROM KOURTNEYS KLOSET (WHICH I WILL WASH AND TAKE BACK) AND HE WORE HIS REINDEER ANTLERS. TOO..I WORE MY CHRISTMAS T KOURTNEY GOT ME THAT SAID "TRIPLE DOG DARE YOU" (TO STICK YOUR TOUNGUE TO THE FROZEN POLE..) WHCIH SHE THOUGHT WAS SO FUNNY CUZ I DID THAT AS A KID...AND MY SANTA HAT...WE HAD FUN HAD ME A LIL MELT DOWN BUT I WAS AMUNG FRIENDS..

[shellbellsmom]

I might regret posting this later.  I just got back from the bar with my friends.  They invited me and we were planning on setting up my best friend with her brother-n-law.  The get together was for my friend’s sister n law's 40th.  The evening started out great.  Drinks and friends, and good music.  Then entered Dr. Death....aka F*&k face, :X my daughters oncologist, and the one who I blame partly for her death.  This was the first time I have seen him since....many nights, days I have envisioned how/what I would say/do if I ran into him.  I didn't think we ran in the same circles so I wasn't too worried. Well, FF and his sleazy bleached blond trashy looking GF went and sat down to the table next to us....I faced his shiny balding big fat head the whole night.  The worst part was he was with the group I was with....they were all pharmacist and nurses at the local hospital, and he was their friend. 

My husband tried to tell me I was mistaken and that it wasn’t him.  I told him he was crazy and it was! Then one of the nurse friends of my friend came over and we asked his name....she confirmed it.  I had already had two rum and cokes...and long island iced teas were on special.  So, then I started to order the specials....my mind, and mood totally changed and I could help but focus on how much I  hated this f**ker.

HE was so mean to my daughter.  She was receiving a bone marrow biopsy which is extremely painful and he was goofing around making jokes with her while he screwed a 50 " needle in her hip/ and then later her sternum.  The following day she spoke up (something she normally didn't do) and told him that she had a great sense of humor and she loved a good joke but asked him to PLEASE refrain from them when he was performing a procedure on her...she asked nicely.  He came back and said, "I'm a funny guy....and I don't plan to change for you".  She lost it and mouthed...."I want him fired".  She was 22 and was in complete charge of her treatment.  My husband ran out the door and told him she wanted him fired.  He said- "you can't do that, I didn't do anything wrong. “  My husband said....she makes the decision regarding her treatment, not you.  Anyways....he still treated her- (because of me- fearing she would be removed from the clinical trial) and he missed so many things that resulted in her going sepias with her infections.  She complained for days about her back pain after her reservoir  was place (to inject chemo in her spine) and he blew her off....later after she was in a coma they needed to remove it as it had a staph infection in it.  Bastard  blew that one. 

When she was in a coma for 14 days and laid in this totally enclosed bed, and was receiving a special ventilator machine from Canada (tech flown in from Florida) and not receiving chemo anymore....he told me to quit wasting the hospitals time and money, and staff on all her treatments which won't do her any good because she wasn't going to live.  He also tried and pressure me into signing the DNR letter…That bastard.  My bro in law ran down to the ICU head doctor and told him why was this joker still on my daughter case....she wasn't receiving any cancer treatment any longer due to her infections being more life threatening than her cancer at that point.  He agreed and told him he was no longer in charge. 

I am sorry....I guess I just need to vent and get this all out.  I am so proud that I didn't spit in his face...  tell him to f off, and or pour a drink over him like I wanted to.  Talk about driving me crazy....I haven't been this mad in a long time and all that anger just came to a rapid boil tonight after seeing his ugly face ( and seriously he is totally homely).  My husband was afraid I would say something inappropriate.  I wanted to...if it wasn't for my friend’s family being there and being friends of his I probably would have.  And to top it off I guess he hangs out at one of the local polish halls too.  Now, I guess if he was a member of one of our elite country clubs I wouldn't be surprised, but our polish halls....the lowest of lows frequent there.  He thought he was so cool drinking his beer, and be-boopin’ to the music, and kissing his sleazy GF….while I sat their just ready to blow over…and thinking about how terrible he was to my precious baby girl in the last days of her life. 

When we finally left, of course the roads were all icy and snowy (what’s new) and I started to bawl like crazy the whole way home. Then when I got home to blow my nose, of course I get a bloody nose.  My husband is afraid to go to sleep as he’s worried about me.  I am fine…a bit drunk and totally blown away by seeing him again.  I thought I was depressed about the holidays but this totally topped the cake.  I hope I didn’t offend anyone here….just need to let it all out.    Michelle would have been so PISSED too.  And to top it off he is the doctor to one of my friends who has leukemia right now and he is totally aware of how I feel about him.  Just seeing my daughters face in the avatar breaks my heart....she deserved so much better than that ass doctor.  I wish we could have transported her to another hospital but due to her not having an immune system it was out of the question. 

I hope I can sleep this off…Monday I will have some good issues to work on with my therapist.  Take Care everyone.  And again I am sorry if this offended anyone.  Sue

[mpsmom]

Sue, I am so very sorry you had to run into this jerk on a night you were trying to have 'normal' evening out with friends.  Rest assured you did not offend anyone here on BI -- this is a safe place to vent,  I am glad you were able to 'download' it all here.  I wish I had more to offer :?

BIG HUGS to you, Marcia   Bethany's Mom Forever

[mikesmomrs]

Oh, Sue, I am so very sorry, also, that you had to face this jerk!  It is just about impossible to believe that doctors (or anyone else in a position of authority/care-giving) can get away with this kind of bs!  I wish the people at the gathering weren't family of your friend, then you could have called him out on his despicable behavior towards Michelle.  Mike's first brain surgeon was such a huge jerk...he never said anything to us before Mike's first surgery about the tumor being fatal...granted, he may not have know how fatal at the time, but after the surgery, he knew.  He didn't tell us, until Mike's brain started swelling and he went into a coma due to delayed restarting of the steroids to keep the swelling down. When I asked the jerk doctor what this meant, all he said was "Well, he can't live like that."  and then he walked out.  There is so much more to this, including us calling an emergency meeting of the hospital liaison (sp?) board to complain about him.  Their answer?  They were going to "talk to him about his bedside manner."  Oh, God...we transferred Mike to Boston as soon as we could which was 2 days later.  Meantime, we demanded they put him back into ICU while we waited to see if he was going to wake up again.  When he first went to sleep (and then into the coma), he was getting ready to go home (Ha, he was about as ready for that as he was when he first went in!), and when he woke up 2 days later, back in the ICU, he was headed for more surgery and another hospital.  Just before he went into the coma, he looked at me and said "Have I taken a turn for the worse, or something...what's going on" then fell asleep and into the coma.

Your doctor sounds like a super, super jerk, and I totally agree with your nickname for him...and totally agree with your feelings for him.  It is hard to believe that he is still practicing, but eventually it will catch up with him...hopefully before he hurts many more people...I am so sorry that he had to be there tonight, but even more sorry that you had to deal with him during Michelle's illness.  You have not offended anyone here...this is the place to vent, remember?  The safe place, where we can explode, cry, scream...  I pray you will find some calm tomorrow...

Susannah:  Such beautiful pictures...I love them all, but the one of you and the kids is just so great!  You have a terrific family, Susannah...thanks so much for sharing.  I am so sorry that you've had so many losses in this past year...your heart is in shreds, and hopefully, being here at BI will help pull some of it together again.  I am so sorry to hear of the police chase/accident...they are in my prayers. 

Dee;  YAY!  two weeks!  So happy for you, you deserve it.  when does it start?  Monday?  OUr kids around here don't get out til Wed...  I am so glad the "Sing" went so well...your description reminded me of the movie "Mr. Holland's Opus"...hav eyou seen it? 

Sonya:  So glad James is home...and congratulations to him, for sure!!! 

Marcia:  How goes it? 

love and peace,  carol  mikesmomrs

[mikesmum]

I love the pic of the grieving chair and those precious babies surrounded by so much love..Thank you

Sue - I'm so sorry you were blindsided by the appearance of this man.  It is hard enough to 'keep it together' let alone be faced by someone who made your daughter/sons efforts to live such a nightmare.

Mike would undergo MRI scans to monitor the deterioration in his joints, especially his spine.  That was until he had a pacemaker inserted.  I remember that day.  Admitted at 8am, into theatre, local, insertion, check the firing and discharged by noon.  I asked about perhaps some counselling/info and was handed the manufacturers guide (in German) and told if Mike had any questions just check in with his doctor.  

Then there was the 'intern/resident' who wanted to do an MRI to confirm Mike's spine was deteriorating rapidly.  Mike said no he couldn't have an MRI - the doctors response 'rubbish you've had plenty in the past don't be such a baby'.  The fact that the pacemaker would be ripped out of his chest due to the magnetics of MRI didn't click with this mental midget.   Later they decided to revert to the old Myelogram. Dye being passed through a needle inserted into the spine....piece of cake NOT.  This same imbecile tried and failed 7 (SEVEN) passes before actually getting it right.  Mike was in excruciating pain that day - the doctor's explanation, "might be the number of needle passes we made" NOT **** SHERLOCK!!   Given all these incidences occurred at the same hospital (my training hospital) over a relatively short period I too put a complaint in writing to the Patient Liason Officer.  Mainly about the lack of information and support for the pacemaker and the lack of 'awareness' by the treating doctor re the MRI/pacemaker.

The response..."staff are used to dealing with people whose lives are improved by the insertion of the pacemaker, hence there was no need to provide 'support as such'.  As for the doctor, yep more education about reading the patients hx.  Also a recommendation for him to review the procedure for myelograms........BIG F&*%ing deal.....

So sorry to hear of another young family devestated by a senseless loss.  The young boy airlifted from here had his life support turned off yesterday......my heart to the parents who are faced with this decision.....

Ahhhh  but I digress.  Did the ambo Christmas thingy.  Basically took a the grandies to the playground and stayed there.  Sausage in bread, cold drink, pleaded fatigue and left.  Just can't do the 'what are you doing for the holidays thing'....

This week sees my boy (Muttley) turning 3.  This is the first day we bought him home....see why I had to have him..

This is the night before Christmas 1979.  My last Christmas with my dad.  Melissa looks like she might burst!!!

Heard on the news there is a huge storm front coming in from the Gulf of Mexico thru Virgina to NY.......all you East Coasters take care, stay safe......if you dont feel like posting a smiley face to let us know you are okay will suffice....

Peace...Trudi

 

[Guest]

Carol and Sue - I am so sorry both of you had such horrible doctors for your children.  Sue, how could anyone be offended with your honest, heartfelt post?  I haven't been here that long, but I feel like you guys are family now.  Besides, you didn't say anything offensive.  Your words were probably quite tame compared to how you're feeling. 

I've been up since 2:30am.  I woke thinking about the mother and her two children who were in that crash.  Wondering who's in Denver with the little boy.  How could a father make that choice?  Stay here with his wife and other child who are also hurt or fly to Denver to be with his 5yr old.  I don't even know this family and I can't sleep from worrying about them. 

Susannah/Stephanie's mom

[mysonrich]

I can't talk right now,maybe later

my boy, my son. the eyes are the windows to the soul

My Mom, me,the bald headed on. My sister, gone at 43. My]older brother, died many many years ago at 14. No answers, no longer questions except why did my mom, my younger brother ans myself, why God, did you take 3 young boys?

 

 

[heartbeataway]

Good Morning,

The Santa's Workshop Christmas Party for the foster children and their families was a huge success and the snow started just as we were cleaning up.

This was planned at one venue but when the tragedy and loss of a Dad and Daughter. The church where it was planned was going to be accommodating the funeral and family and friends attending the services.

We scrambled and found another venue.  Had to move everything there, re-think the set up, etc...

We also had to notify all the volunteers and guests.  Crazy! But a good time was had by all and the children seemed delighted! 

There were a couple of that I retreated to the kitchen.  The "family" atmosphere tugged on my heart at times.  But, it was easier than I thought it might be.  I stayed busy in the kitchen or taking pictures or the gift wrap station. Couldn't have asked for a better event!

We have about 15" of snow and it's blizzard conditions outside.  The only issue for us is our pups don't want to go out in it.  The snow is deeper than our two little dogs are tall!

We are definitely going to have a white Christmas!! 

[shellbellsmom]

Be careful all you Easterners…. (Sonya, Bonnie and Betsy) if you don’t have to travel in that mess, stay home.  One of my good friends lives in Pinehurst NC and left yesterday for Michigan.  She reported on FB she is having a hellava time with driving and had to stop in Greensboro NC as cars were in the ditches and many many accidents.  They are originally from MI and know how to drive in that stuff too….My advice, STAY HOME.  Bonnie we shovel a path for our small dog.....it hates the weather too but can you do?

Dee hooray for vacations….enjoy your time off.

Betsy what a nice picture of your boy Rich….so handsome, what was the occasion for the black tie.

Susannah love the picture taken last night of you and your babies.  If I had a chair like that I probably would live in it too.  Wishing you some peace today on your mother’s angelversary date. Know that your Stephanie, your sis, and your mother are all hanging out together now…and watching over you and those precious grandbabies from heaven. 

Kathy I too feel it’s good to have a good cry-fest once in a while.  When I do it sure helps me to release some of that gut-wrenching pain so that I can breathe again.  Last night I had one of those blubbering snot producing ones….today, I can breathe a bit easier. 

Feel pretty good considering I drank way too much last night.  I usually stop after a few….and it was the 1^st time I actually drank 3 long-island teas drinks (not counting the college days) before.  I also had several (3) skinny pirates too (Captain  & Diet) in just 3 hours.  Still amazed I didn’t make an ass out of myself in front of DD.  Now, I have to tell my BF that she can’t get hooked up with my pharmacist friend anymore.  I don’t care if he’s a good catch, a great friend from HS, and College, and would be perfect for her.  He has DD’s GF  as one of his FB friends, and they run in the same circle together. Her profile (She is a Sue too) is the one right above mine on his friends page- and she has DD picture with her as her profile.   She will be disappointed but will totally understand. 

Going to get motivated today and finish all my Christmas stuff….at least that is what I am telling myself. 

Hope everyone has a great weekend, and is able to find some time for themselves to relax and reflect on some of the goodness’s of the world.  Yes, there are many….even if it may not seem like it sometimes. 

Peace, Sue

[briansdad]

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Hooooooooooooooo I fixed the damn computer. You know the old saying.... you never know what you got till it's gone.

[hotrod]

duplicate post

[hotrod]

Betsy The pciture of Rich is wonderful.  He looks so very handsome, and kind.:dude:

Did love all the pictures Terri, Adam smile is wonderful, Trudi the children under the tree and Mutley always touch my heart.  Dee glad the children had such a good time and Sonya stay warm, hope the play comes off.  

Bonnie I smiled about your problem with the snow and the size of your dogs.When I was living in Stephen's home he had an indoor/outdoor cat that needed to go out regardless of the weather.  I too had to shovel a pathway for her.  A warm memory of days gone by.

Susannah, Sue, Marcie Kathy,Sherry, Claudia can identify with the feelings from each of you.

I am not in a great place today but thought I would check in and do as Trudi suggests- send warm thoughts to all my Indigo Friends and a few smileys to take us thru the weekend.

Stay safe and warm:cool::shock::?:X:(.

New avator that  I am trying to post but have not been succesful  I think this is the only picture I have of Stephen in a suit.  It was A WEDDING SO LONG AGO

:?

Betty

Stephen'smom

[ericasmom]

To Everyone, I am having so many hot flashes people could rent me out to melt a pathway for the doggies. Happy and Safe snow everyone. Betty, love the new avitar of our Handsome Man. I wish you some sort of peace today and I am sorry that you are not feeling great. I think I am there with you, trying to climb up but feeling shaky.

Bonnie, white out hu? Be careful. I am thrilled that you had the joy of the Foster Dinner Gathering. YOur heart shone.

Betsy, that photo is beautiful. The missing so great I know.

Carol, you are a dearheart.

Marcia, I will try to post later showing my little tuxedo people.

Going for a little walk with my 2 year old neighbor in the light snow we have.

Dee

[Guest]

Betsy - What a handsome young man!  If the eyes are the window to the soul, I see wisdom and maturity.  Perhaps beyond his years.  Very wise. 

Betty - Stephen, too, is quite handsome.  Men in suits.  Gotta love it! 

Sending some love and comfort to all Indigo's; hoping your day is a bit easier.

Susannah/Stephanie's mom

[lolynbo]

ON FB IM GOING TO RECOMMEND A FRIEND FOR YAL..HER NAME IS AMANDA DANIEL..SHE IS 25 AND HAS A BRAIN TUMOR AND IS DOWN AND DONT FEEL LIKE SHE WANTS TO LIVE MOST THE TIME...IT TEARS MY HEART OUT BECAUSE I THINK THIS IS WHAT MY BABY GIRL MAY WOULD FEEL LIKE IF SHE WAS HERE AND IT KILLS ME...SHE IS SO SWEET...PLZ FIND HER ON FB AND BE HER FRIEND AND GIVE HER WORDS OF ENCORAGMENT...(SP)

[ericasmom]

Lorri, so sweet of you to want to boost this young lady's motivation to fight. It is very hard to be young and facing an illness of that level. Is this the woman with the non-malignant tumor? I don't have FB, don't want it either, but if I did, I would definitely visit her. I will however, keep her on my prayer list, along with the folks that I think Sus was worried about, the three airlifted after being hit. Prayers, constant.

Went out in the woods with my little 2 year old neighbor Emmet and his parents. So nice that family, we are lucky to live next door to two great families, one is my best buddie, Kay and her family and then on the other side of us is Kayanne and her young family. Blessed with good folks in our lives. Well I got to see Emmet take his first sled hill, it was great fun.

Betsy, Betty, Sonya, Bonnie, do you guys have electricity? I am hearing about blackouts in some areas due to the heavy snowfall and winds. Please be careful, make some hot chocolate and watch an old movie. Stay home.

Blessings All,

dee

[mysonrich]

Dee, I didn't want to say anything but, we don't have any snow yet. The weather channel said tonight and looks like the eastern seaboard is and will continue to take the brunt of this one. NJ, where my daughter lives , according to the news, snow covered . What I have taken note of here, 125 West of NYC and about the same but north of Philly, is the quick freeze of roads. One minute its ok, the next it isn't. 3-6 expected here . You know Mother Nature. Any tuxedo pic;s yet?

 

Susannah, Thank you. Rich is/was one smart guy and compassionate of others. very wise, insightful, intuitive. Having some heath problems as a youngster and at times, the unkind words of others, I think, like your grandbabies, all beauties , they learn compassion. Rich was also just "another" 20 year old. I wonder if he knew how many people loved him, if he knew of the lives he touched. One girl wrote on his memorial page, : Rich helped me by his words of wisdom".

 

I love the park photo. I see love and the joy of a day at the park with the kids!

 

Terri, I see ,correct me if I'm wrong, a smiled shared by the two of you. Mom and son. Great pics.

 

Betty, a handsome man indeed. Thanks for sharing.

 

Sue, something for the graduation pic and the prom down the road.No gala event. He didn't go after all. Either did his sister.  I feel they both wanted to attend with someone special and both at that time did not.

 

MaryAnn, Bonnie, grab the shovels.

 

I'm really tired today but I did get out this morning to buy a murano necklace for Sarah. For her stocking. I saw the gift I almost bought for Rich last year. I was ok.

 

Santa Mobile...

 

 

 

[mpsmom]

Betty and Betsy, such handsome young men in suits.... too wise for their years... gone way too soon....   I love seeing all the new pictures of all the BI children, makes me smile, the holidays are really kicking my butt.... 'this too will pass' .

Hugs to all of you in snow country and also to those who are not.

Marcia     Bethanys Mom Forever

[mikesmum]

Hey Indigos - Love the thought of a White Christmas, best we will have is a mild day about 21C.

Yesterday before the Christmas party I took Jeya and Zak to the Christmas Tree Farm.  Back when mine were little, before the jungle trekking, we would go to a farm and the kids would spread out looking for the 'perfect' tree.  It was so much fun. Three kids in three directions!! 

Zak and Jey found several perfect trees.  The owner of the farm was lady.  I went to pay her and noticed she'd been crying.  She lost her son a year ago.  His plane crashed in South Africa.  His siblings flew him home.  We  talked about the 'journey'.  It being a never ending story.  Tears and hugs.  

Bonnie - the kitchen was my refuge at Melissa's engagement.  It was a great time, but I need my 'safe place'.

Sue - What the heck is a skinny pirates? (Johnny Depp)? or for that matter a long-island teas?? And what are you doing drinking tea with Skinny Pirates anyway!!

Congrats Greg - you IT person  you...

Dee - Hot flashes, yep love them!  I imagine you walking with Emmet.  Seeing the wonders snow falling through the eyes of a 2 yr old - love that innocence.

Betty & Betsy - Love those handsome men in their suits.  Stephen looks so different. Its a brilliant picture.  Love Rich's steely look right into the camera - the designer stubble!

I too wonder sometimes if Mike realised how loved or even how valued he was.  Melissa's words from his service "a caring soul whose physical heart that may have been flawed but no one can deny that you were all heart. I love you Micheal, I wish I could have taken your pain away before this" 

Mike at the Debutante ball.  He turned 18 that day!

This was yesterdays picinic. Like Dee's walk with Emmett, just for the moment I am carried away by the untouched innocence of something as simple as sausages on a rug.  The Ibis abounds in the park.  Notice Zak, not fearful, he's tempting the bird. 

Jeya is on the right, sitting next to twin girls....could have been triplets.

 

Cars - Mine is last on the left, Mals next to it......

I love this. Callum one of the ambo's in town is 6'4" tall, has a 6yr old and the twin 3yr old girls.   As little ones do they all needed the toilet at once........Jeya is on the left holding hands.

Trudi

 

[daveydow1]

Kekoasmom---I'm so very sorry for your loss of your dear son, Chris. I want

to welcom e you to this site...although I am sorry that you have reason to be

here. Please come back to BI. Everyone here understands your grief, firsthand,

and will welcome any & all posts you make. Sometimes we just read, and can't

post because we don't feel up to it. Whatever you want to do is fine. I have

been on this  site for over 6 yrs.---along with Dee. Many others have been on

for quite some time also. My son, Davey, died in a terrible highway crash in 2003.

So, please come back to BI. You have understanding friends here.

Betty (Stephens mom), Betsey (Rich's mom), Susannah (Stephanie's mom), Lynn

(Kayla's mom),  Terrie (Adam's mom).Thanks so very much for the lovely

photos you have posted.  (hope I didn't leave anyone out). Anyhow, I just really

enjoy seeing the pics.

Sonya---So glad James is home, and Congratulations to him. Now.....I hope your

family is all comfy & cozy with the snowstorm hitting. Take care.

Sue----Oh my goodness----that rude, unfeeling Dr. is certainly a terrible person.

How could he be so hurtful to a patient so sweet, as your Michelle. He sounds

like every patient's nightmare. This must be so terribly painful & distressing to

you. Please be kind to yourself. Thoughts & prayers for you, friend.

                  Daveysmom,  Sherry 

[hotsauce]

hello to EVERYONE, did any one ask for snow?  almost 20" in bear, de

GREG, thank you for the book, it came yesterday.

love all the pictures of family and angels.

i guess i 'll be busy tomorrow, if the snow stops, trying to shovel out .

EVERYONE have a good night.  keep warm, if you temperature in about 18 with wind chill about 10.

warms hughs to all.

mary ann

BRIAN'S momdukes

[Guest]

Wow, Trudi!  Mike looks angelic in that photo!  He has a heavenly glow about him.  Very handsome.

 I don't know to write beneath the picture, or post more than one. 

Merry Christmas from the Thompson family 2009

[ericasmom]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aR1Ln-ctn5E&hl=en_US&fs=1&%22%3E%3C/param%3E%3Cparam

Guys, see if this works, this is the utube, I hope, that shows the original movie and music of the Snowman. It is the song that makes me weep as it is so incredibly beautiful, this is the song, one of them, that my students sang and did their own art work for. Listen to the child's voice on this, it is breathtaking. I think that one reason it takes my breath away is, I picture our Babies flying high above the ground, flying in the frozen sky...enjoy

Loves and hugs,

dee

[mikesmomrs]

Just checking in to say hello and send a .  It hasn't started snowing here, yet, but it has been ccccoooooolllllllllllldddddddddd!  Yesterday it was 5, but today it was all the way up to 10 when we woke up.  Slipping on down again, tonight.  Snow supposed to start after midnight, but don't know how much we will get...depends on which channel you watch...everyone says something different...guess we will know for sure when it's over. 

Greg:  GREAT about your computer...

Trudi:  I love, love, love the pics...you, sharing with us having a sweet day with your grandies...just awesome...and of course, Mike in his tux...

Betty:  Stephen...oh yes, those eyes are deep, intelligent...such a great picture

Betsy:  I really like the pic of Rich, also...really great; his "self" just jumps off the page.

Nice to see you, Sherry, and your Davey's smile...hope you are doing okay.  Getting closer to moving...

Terrie:  I love the pics of Adam and your family...yes, they look like kidders all right...everyone in on the action...Adam looks so happy...

Bonnie:  So happy for you that the party went so well...so many who had their Christmas elevated to a level of joy they wouldn't have known without all that work...know all about the Kitchen hideaway...that's okay, too, you did so much and I am glad you are feeling good about it all. 

Mary ann...wow, you are getting some kind of snow...usually is what we get here, but heard it isn't going to be as much as everyone else, the further north it gets...we'll see. 

Dee:  I can imagine the fun you had in the snow with your little neighbor, Emmett...and he with you...we had wonderful neighbors in our old neighborhood, also...of course, we were there for almost 20 years...  Two little sweeties who were born to those right next door, now 8 and 4...so cute.  As for your hot flashes, we don't need a snow path melted, but you could sure come warm up the neighborhood...it was 5 degrees yesterday morning! 

Prayers for those suffering loss and heartbreak these last days...the car accidents, the plane crash overseas...tragic, tragic, and so heartbreaking.  So many people dealing with new losses this week...Lorri, will pray for your friend, Amanda. 

I had a compliment paid to me yesterday, that I would like to share.  (I guess I am bragging, but really, I just want to share the good feeling that it brought.)  As you all know, I've been running hither, thither and yon with Davis this last couple weeks looking for a car, as well as taking him everywhere, for his treatment, to school, to work, and going back to pick him up again.  Great time together though, and lots of talking, lots of "closeness."  He is a terrific kid...we just love him so much.   Well, yesterday, he had a flat on his new car...the guy had told him he might need new tires soon, but we think Davis ran over something in a parking lot.  We went to pick him up, take him to work...I stayed with the car til the tow truck came and they towed it to Sears.  All new tires.  Went to the credit union to get his money, back to Sears, paid, took car to his work, hubby took me home.  When I was at the bank, the woman helping me "couldn't find" his money.  I remembered it was in our Christmas club...she asked "going shopping?"  I said, no, and explained the new car/new tire thing, etc., and that Davis had asked me to put this money away for him so's he wouldn't be tempted to spend it, so I had put it in our Christmas club.  She smiled at me, and as I turned to leave, she said "I hope I am like you when I am a grandmother."  It just made me feel so very good...made my heart a little lighter.

Have been busy all day, but got almost nothing done...the tree is vertical, and the lights are actually on, but other than Mike's star wars ornament, nada.  Oh, yes, there are 2 others...I had tried to get the Pier one Volkswagen ornament they came out with last year, but no such luck.  But, when I went onto eBay this year to look, I found this little, blown glass, red punch buggy.  So cute.  So I ordered it.  It came the other day, but didn't really open it til today.  There is a little metal tag on it, with the initials of the maker.  The tag is in the shape of a heart.  So sweet.  thanks, Mike.  And of course, the red dragon fly that Mike led me to the other day at the store...who ever heard of a dragon fly as a Christmas ornament?  I hadn't...til now. 

Wanted to share a couple of pics...one of our kitchen window...Mike had a set of Wonderful Life (one of his favorite movies)  "buildings" that he got for Christmas one year, and gave them to me before he died.  One is the bank, one their big old house, one the drug store, and the other is the bar "Martini's."  I put them in the kitchen window, with some trees, lights, etc., so I can see them often during the course of the day/night.  The second one is of the red hand blown glass "punch buggy" that I mentioned earlier...with the heart on the top part...so cute, and the third is of the RED dragon fly Christmas ornament I "found" at Walmart (Of all places, to find something so unique!) the other day, when I was looking for lights, and "accidently" wandered into a part of the Christmas dept that only usually had live trees. 

the "punch buggy...notice the little "heart" hanging by the top...

and the Red dragon fly that came out of the blue...(Red was Mike's favorite color)

I hope everyone has a peaceful night, and keep warm!

love and peace,  carol  mikesmomrs

 

[mikesmomrs]

Dee, Susannah...we posted at the same time...Susannah...BEAUTIFUL family...thanks for the picture...it is just awesome!  Dee, will listen to song later...hubby is hungry...again!  Geesh, I fixed him supper just three days ago...what does he want!

love and peace, carol mikesmomrs

[ericasmom]

Indigos, I do believe that our Children do know how loved they are, how loved they have always been. I think that they are keenly aware of our emotional status, and its ever changing whirls.

Mike looks so like a serious Mr. there Trudi, a young professor. So handsome, soulful eyes. He picnicked with you all yesterday, smiling on you each. I think that your meeting the woman at the Tree Farm was his doing Trud, he led you there so that you can now give her hope, there is another Momma who gets what I am dealing with. She knows that she is not all alone. I hope that she will come here, join us. Trudi, Carol, I did so love walking with Emmet, he simplified it all with his giggles and his funny questions.

Carol, yes, I do believe that the heart on the tag is Mike as well. A big hug to his Momma for all the ways she keeps her heart open to him. HOw nice that the banker saw in you what everyone here sees too, a wonderful nurturing woman who is so able to find ways to make life better for others.

MaryAnn, what a lot of snow for you, I hope that you are snuggling in a warm blanket and feeling peaceful. Do you have a good book to read?

Sherry, how bout you, snow? a nice cover here, about 2 inches, maybe 2 more tomorrow.

Greg, I couldn't fix a Fisher Price computer if there was one, I am so not handy with anything that has a plug.

love to all,

dee

Betsy, thought the snow would eventually get there. Same to you Betty, though with that kind of cold, I wonder if it will snow as much as they think. Stay safe.

[mikesmum]

She smiled at me, and as I turned to leave, she said "I hope I am like you when I am a grandmother."  It just made me feel so very good...made my heart a little lighter.

She would have been in awe of you as Mikes mom.  I love the punchbuggy and all things Mike about your Christmas.

The tree Zak and Jeya bought home with me is sitting in a bucket of water.  I tell myself it needs to rest.  Truth be told opening the stored Christmas stuff sets my heart  racing - a mix of wanting to much to touch the ornaments of Christmas past, sensing Mike and aching in my heart that he isn't here no matter what I do.

Dee - I love the clip - you have the deepest sense of connection than anyone I know. Bless you.

Mal is working with Bernadette.  She lost her husband this past September.  Its her first Christmas without him. They would hold what only could be described as a 'banquet' on Christmas eve for friends, family and workmates.  She isn't sleeping and prone to tears.  She told Mal "I am stronger than this, this shouldnt be bothering me as much as it does".....I sent her the following...

[align=left]No one ever knows the depth of loss, until they experience it firsthand.[/align]

[align=left]The impact of losing someone from our life is so profound, no other life experience comes close.[/align]

[align=left]It undermines our self belief, it leaves us weakened, confused and many times lost.[/align]

[align=left]I have been told that grief is relative to the enormity of the love, the connection between two people.  I believe this to be so.[/align]

[align=left]Trying to return to normal when the vastness of the void is immeasurable becomes impracticable.  [/align]

[align=left]There are no words that will fill that place, that will take away your hurt and return you to what you hold dear.[/align]

[align=left]The realities hit hard – time may not heal, but it affords an opportunity to a find the soft place to land when all else closes in.[/align]

[align=left]Be kind to yourself.  Afford yourself the time to find that soft place.  [/align]

[align=left]Take Care - Trudi[/align]

[align=left]Off to the cupboard........May you all have that 'soft place' close this Christmas.

[/align]

[ericasmom]

Trudi, I have now listened to 5 different versions of this song, I weep and weep. I see My Girl flying over mountains and streams, holding the hands of all those we miss. I am glad she is in such fine company. thank you for your sweet words.

I love you,

dee