Loss of an Adult Child

[lagrangel]

lolynbo,

 Your blanket is wonderful! Please take pictures when you finish it. I did not know they had any of those unitl I went to pick out a saddle for Brent's headstone and the lady at the flower shop showed me them. She said they would have to be ordered in November. I told her that was a beautiful idea and I will plan on it next year. My husband even liked the idea for next year.

I am going to Brent's plot after school Thursday to light the eternity candle I bought for his birthday.  I know it will be a hard day but I am looking forward to the time I get to spend with Brian on his birthday. I pray God will give me a peace to get trough the day. 

 Peace to each and everyone, Lana

[lolynbo]

THIS FLORIST SAID AS LONG AS IT IS ORDERED EARLY IN DEC IT WOULD BE ENOUGH TIME...YOU MIGHT CALL OTHER FLORIST...BUT YES NEXT YEAR WOULD BE GREAT..AND YOU CAN PERSONALIZE IT..

I FOUND SOME BUTTERFLIES , CHECKERED FLAG RIBBON, PINK RIBBON THAT SAYS "PRINCESS"..THOUGHT OF JESSICA FOR THE BUTTERFLIES...

SAW A YELLOW BUG TODAY AND I SAID "HELLO BETHANY"

SO MANY THINGS MAKE ME THINK OF KOURTNEY..AND NOW I CAN SHARE YOUR CHILDREN TOO..

BUT I NEED TO FIND PRETTIER FLOWERS TO ADD TO THE BLANKET..I WILL SHOW YOU WHEN IM DONE...

THANK ALL OF YALL FOR EACH AND EVERY POST FOR ME OR NOT, IT ALL HELPS TO EASE OUR PAIN.

[lolynbo]

WE MAY HAVE TO IM TRYIN TO DECIDE WHAT DAY TO GO TO THE TUT EXHIBIT ...WAITING ALSO FOR DAUGHTER TO SEE IF SHE DECIDES TO GO WITH US OR NOT...BUT YES WOULD BE FUN..

[4everjoeysmom]

So many things to say to so many here, but thankful that even in saying nothing sometimes the hearts connect and we just know...

Lana, I love you Sister! And you are in my prayers. Bless you and I pray that time spent with Brian will be beautiful. Brent, Happy Birthday! Say a "hey" to Joey for me...

Love to all! Nite

[heartbeataway]

Happy Birthday Brent!

Lana,

  May the spirit of this child that lives deep within your heart bring you comfort as you celebrate, "the spirit he is today".

[ethansmuffin]

I have two daughters...Zionne had her 21st birthday two weeks after Ethan's Celebration of life Service...We were planning a big bash for her, becuase she studies in South Africa...so we just had a very small gathering with family and friends instead. Zavia my middle one is 17 now turning 18 in February (I have to add that..she will not forgive me)....it will be her final school year next year...before she goes off to college in 2010...two weeks after Ethan's accident she started with her final exams....it was so hard on her....

I think the trauma and shock of the accident the quickness of everything...the coldness of the ICU...are beginning to wear off....we find our selves crying much more....whenever we hear abulance sirens we all just freeze....

My kids friends are really, carying them and supporting them through this...I am so proud of them for having such good character friends....applause to the parents also....they come around...some girls will come and cook dinner....or just pop in with  a movie for the girls...or just take them to the mall.....the same with our friends....We had this THANK YOU in the newspapers on 27 November 2008, one month down this painfull road.

Love

Enid 

Thank you.pdf

[cameronsmom1]

I just wanted to share this poem that i found with you guys. It's really inspiring to me and I hope it is to you too.

Since heaven has become your home

I sometimes feel I'm so alone;

And though we now are far apart

You hold a big piece of my heart

I never knew how much I'd grieve

When it was time for you to leave

Or just how much my heart would ache

From that one fragment you would take

God lets this tender hole remain,

reminding me we'll meet again,

and one day all the pain will cease

When He restores this missing piece

He'll turn to joy my every tear

with thoughts of you I hold so dear,

and they'll become my special way

to treasure our Reunion Day.

[daniellemom]

Lana,

You are in my prayers today. I hope you can have sweet memories and Brent today. Also tell Brian Happy Birthday.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRENT!!!!!

Sonya

[daniellemom]

Lana,

You are in my prayers today. I hope you can have sweet memories of Brent today. Also tell Brian Happy Birthday.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRENT!!!!!

Sorry for the two posts, I don't know what happened.

Sonya

[heartbeataway]

Enid,

 I love the Thank You note!  Thanks for sharing it with us!

Bonnie

[heartbeataway]

I told some of you the story of Gingy.  This is an ornament that Jason made in pre-school.  He was so excited!  He held it all the way home and then ran into the house and put it on the front of the tree.

Last Christmas, our first without him, we included Gingy in our Christmas cards.  I'm getting comments on cards we're receiving this year about Gingy being front and center on their trees.

Kind of fills my heart to the brim .........

I don't know how to put pictures together so I'll apologize for the separate posts.  I just want to share our card with you.

This first picture is Jason's originial Gingy.  He made it, he named it, and every year he would make sure it was front and center on the tree.  Regardless of what remote spot I would hide it in when I put the tree up.  He never forgot!

[heartbeataway]

This is the front of the card. By the way, his Gingy is a good 10" tall! 

[heartbeataway]

The inside left of the card.  Telling the story of Gingy ........

[align=center]Every Christmas past at the Holloway house,

while decorating the tree, Jason's

 gingerbread man ornament would be put

out of sight initially. By Christmas morning,

Jason would always reposition it on the

front of the tree for all to see

 - ever proud of the "Gingy"

he made as a preschooler.

In Loving Memory of

Jason Michael Holloway

October 27, 1975 - April 28, 2007

[/align]

[heartbeataway]

The inside right of the card with the verse we came up with:

[align=center]May this Christmas

carry you away

in memories

of laughter and love!

[/align]

[heartbeataway]

One of the 77 "Gingy's" that Rich and I made to add to the cards.  They were all different. I would love to have a video of my 6' 2" husband sitting, watching football and stitching gingerbread men together!  ;-))

[heartbeataway]

Lastly,  this is the tag that we attached to the Gingy we included in each card.  It's  based on a verse from the poem written for his first Celebraton of Life.

[align=center]Please place the replica on your tree

and remember the little boy who was,

the man he grew to be, the love we knew,

and the spirit he is today......

[align=left]

[/align][/align]

[lolynbo]

GINGY IS TOO CUTEE...MADE ME CRY AND I JUST WOKE UP...I CAN JUST PICTURE HIM DOING THAT, RUNNING HOMW WITH HER SAFE IN HIS LIL HANDS...AND DISPLAYING HER SO PROUDLY...HOW SO VERY TOUCHING AND SWEET..JUST LIKE MY LIL BOY I TREASURE SO MUCH..AND SO MANY OTHERS DO THEIRS..

SUCH NICE POEMS, IVE BEEN "STEALIN THEM" AND ADDING THEM TO KOURTNEYS MYSPACE PAGE OR MINE...

[daniellemom]

Bonnie,

Gingy is so cute and what a wonderful way to remember your son with everyone during Christmas.

Sonya

[cameronsmom1]

I love the Gingy! My son is in preschool this year and I can't wait to see what he brings home for Christmas. We put our tree up the other day but no ornaments or lights yet, just haven't had the time. But my son did manage to find his ornament he picked from last year of scooby doo and it is the only thing hanging on the tree! Each year we each pick a new one individually and then one as a family. This year he picked ironman and for our family one we picked a Key that says new house since we finally bought our own house this year! I hope you can all look back on past christmas's and smile at all the memories you still have. Wishing you all the best.

Amanda

[cameronsmom1]

WONDERFUL STORY called Micheal's song

Like any good mother, when Karen found out that another baby was on the way, she did what she could to help her 3-year-old son, Michael, prepare for a new sibling.They found out that the new baby was going be a girl, and day after day, night after night, Michael sang to his sister in mommy's tummy.

He was building a bond of love with his little sister before he even met her. The pregnancy progressed normally for Karen, an active member of the Panther Creek United Methodist Church in Morristown , Tennessee .  In time, the labor pains came. Soon it was every five minutes, every three, every minute. But serious complications arose during delivery and Karen found herself in hours of labor.

Would a C-section be required? Finally, after a long struggle, Michael's little sister was born. But she was in very serious condition. With a siren howling in the night, the ambulance rushed the infant to the neonatal intensive care unit at St. Mary's Hospital, Knoxville , Tennessee.

The days inched by. The little girl got worse.The pediatrician had to tell the parents there is very little hope.Be prepared for the worst. Karen and her husband contacted a local cemetery about a burial plot. They had fixed up a special room in their house for their new baby but now they found themselves having to plan for a funeral.

Michael, however, kept begging his parents to let him see his sister. I want to sing to her, he kept saying.Week two in intensive care looked as if a funeral would come before the week was over.Michael kept nagging about singing to his sister, but kids are never allowed in Intensive Care.

Karen decided to take Michael whether they liked it or not. If he didn't see his sister right then, he may never see her alive. She dressed him in an oversized scrub suit and marched him into ICU. He looked like a walking laundry basket. The head nurse recognized him as a child and bellowed,'Get that kid out of here now. No children allowed.'

The mother rose up strong in Karen, and the usually mild-mannered lady glared steel-eyed right into the head nurse's face, her lips a firm line.'He is not leaving until he sings to his sister' she stated.

Then Karen towed Michael to his sister's bedside.He gazed at the tiny infant losing the battle to live. After a moment, he began to sing.In the pure-hearted voice of a 3-year-old, Michael sang:

'You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray.'Instantly the baby girl seemed to respond. The pulse rate]began to calm down and become steady.'Keep on singing, Michael,' encouraged Karen with tears in her eyes. 'You never know, dear, how much I love you, please don't take my sunshine away.'

As Michael sang to his sister, the baby's ragged,strained breathing became as smooth as a kitten's purr.'Keep on singing, sweetheart.' 'The other night, dear, as I lay sleeping, I dreamed I held you in my arms'. Michael's little sister began to relax as rest, healing rest, seemed to sweep over her.'Keep on singing, Michael.' Tears had now conquered the face of the bossy head nurse. Karen glowed. 'You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.Please don't take my sunshine away...'

The next day...the very next day...the little girl was well enough to go home.

Woman's Day Magazine called it The Miracle of a Brother's Song .

The medical staff just called it a miracle.

Karen called it a miracle of God's love. 

NEVER GIVE UP ON THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE!!

LOVE IS SO INCREDIBLY POWERFUL.

[mpsmom]

What a beautiful story.  Thank you for sharing it.  Bonnie, Gingy is so sweet, I promised to myself that one day I will unpack our decorations again, but not this year...I just cant stand the pain of looking at all Bethany's hand made ornaments, there are so many....Aftr I heard about you makig Christmas cards from the picture, I thought about Chirtmas cards she made when she was maybe 10 or 11, they made drawings and the art teacher turned them into a bundle of 4 or 5 cards...I never sent them out to anyone becaue I wanted them for myself, I will find those, maybe next year and send them out to friends and family..... so all of you out there can expect one -- you are all my new friends who feel like family. 

Warm Hugs to all

Marcia

[lolynbo]

OK IM NOT CRAFTY...BUT I ADDED WHAT I COULD FIND...AND HOPEFULLY THIS CAN WITHSTAND OUR WIND WE HAVE BEEN HAVING

THIS IS THE BLANKET WITH EVERYTHING ON IT EXCEPT THE CHECKERED FLAGS I WILL ADD WHEN I GET TO CEMETARY

THIS IS THE RIGHT SIDE OF IT

 

THE PINK RIBBONS SAY "PRINCESS" AH BECAUSE SHE IS....THE OTHER RIBBONS SAY "PIT STOP" AND SOME ARE JUST CHECKERED...BECAUSE WE RACE

 

OK THE WEBSITE WONT TAKE THE WHOLE PIC OF BLANKET SO IM SORRY DONT KNOW WHY

[mpsmom]

Lorri, it is beautiful...........you are crafty!!! 

[daveydow1]

Marcia,   Your daughter is a beautiful young lady.

Lorrie,  Kourtney's grave blanket is very lovely, and with all the

           flags, ribbons, etc. it is so much "Kourtney's Own".

Carol,   The photo of Mike and the baby sleeping is so very precious.

 

Bonnie----Who can understand why people do such hurtful things when

            a beloved child dies, and we are at our absolute lowest in spirits ??

            What else could you do but just not call them---it would likely not

            do much good. Sorry that this happened to you.  Oh, the Gingy

            cards/memorials are sooooo  cute & a fitting memorial of dear Jay.

Carol, and Cameronsmom,-----Thanks for sharing lovely, touching poems.

Claudia,   So sorry for your brother's insensitive treatment of you after your

           dear son's death.  I've said it before, and will say it again-----"the

       insensitive people are thinking more about how THEY feel, and usually

       are disregarding the feelings of the bereaved person. They are thinking of

       themselves---not the person who is in grief the most. They don't wish to

       extend themselves or get too involved.  They may not mean to be insensitive,

       but that's the way it ends up.  Very hard to swallow, if you are on the

       receiving end. I guess we've all been in situations like this. Such a rough

       road we must travel.  Peace to you.

               Peace to ALL at BI.

                                        Daveysmom, Sherry 

 

 

             

   

[4everjoeysmom]

Thanks Sherry! yeah! I hear ya on the insensitive ones... I also have to remind myself that my brother has no children. He likely never will---wife didn't want any and may be past menopause at this point. (She's 54, I think. He's 43.) Plus, as close as he was with my boys when they were little, he didn't give them much consideration after the adolescent years...so what's to miss if he didn't really know Joey anyway, eh? And He's estranged himself from me a couple years before that when he got mixed up in some multi-level marketing scheme and I didn't buy into it. That long since faded, but the distance never really did...and not because I haven't tried. Such is life sometimes...

Have you heard from Betsy? I know she tends to get way down when she is down, and she has really been on my heart and mind. If you do, will you tell her she is missed and that folks are praying for her? Thanks, Sherry. Hugs, Claudia

[heartbeataway]

Marcia,

I love the new picture of Bethany! 

I know what you mean about the decorations.  We have not put up a tree or unpacked decorations either.

Lorri,

The blanket is absolutely perfect!  If I had been able to picture what you were doing, I would have sent you a bulb or something for it.  What a perfect tribute to your Kourtney!

Amanda,

The story is precious!  I wonder if he still sings to his baby sister ......

I've worried about mamabetts also ....... if you're quietly reading, please let us know you're okay.

~b

[summergirl]

Hello to all this cold. rainy, windy night here in New York!!

Lorrie - love the blanket and you added such beautiful things - I am a butterfly lover so love that you added them (I call Jessica my butterfly girl). I have been doing the blanket for Jessica every year but never thought to add my own touches to it so thank you for the idea and the pics. They begin to sell the blankets here in late November - can get them at any florist and they come in the shape that you have or they have it as a cross. I always believe it keeps my Jessica warm through this cold winter time.   Thank you also for the sticker - I will email you and please let me know as I am more than happy to pay for it!!!   You can make me cry one minute and laugh the next - God Bless you.

Bonnie, Carol and Kay - yes my Tavian is quite the handsome little boy and is growing taller each day - he shines like a star.   Last night he and I went to McDonalds for something to do after school and work and on the way home he said to me "sometimes it feels like you are my mommy instead of my mi-mi" - well I held i the tears and smiled at him and said "you are right, sometimes I feel that way too" - in my head I was telling Jessica she will always be his mommy so not to worry - I know she is happy that he is doing well.

Sherry - yes people can be so insensitive and I get so angry but in the words of Claudia "the only way I cna have peace about it is to just forgive him for being so ignorant, self-absorbed and careless with my heart" - I could not have said it better. I am so tired of "pretending" to be the happy little Kathy in front of those who are family but could really care less!!   My mother-in-law is at the top of my "hit list" right now along with a few others but I will be the stronger person and just brush it off and continue to do things "my way"!!  "Familyt ties do not always bind"!!  My friends are more understanding then family!!!  But the most caring, loving family I have is right here among all of you!!

Tavian is off to his other grandmothers for the weekend and I am missing him already but need the down time for myself and hopefully my husband and I will be able to have some "talk" time - he needs me more than he knows so I am going to give it to him - make him talk to me.

Tough holiday this year for me - I simply cannot get in the "spirit", it is worse than last year!!!  Another thing I have to be strong about for Tavian but I know seeing his eyes light up on Christmas morn will make it all worth the struggle.

Prayers and Peace to all, Kathy

I miss you my Jessica - are you looking down at me right this very moment trying to tell me something that I am not hearing??  Do I miss signs that you try to show me?? Are you so very proud of your Tavian?  so many questions and so many tears - come to me in a dream my baby - talk to me.  I love you so. 

 

[lolynbo]

OK MY PPL....HERE IT IS ....GOD HAS GIVIN US FLOORING FOR KOURTNEY'S KLOSET.....WE START TOMARROW CLEANING UP AND GETTING READY TO PUT DOWN THE DONATED CARPET SQUARES....THANK YOU JESUS...

A LOCAL BUSINESS OWNER NAMED "BUILDER BOB" DONATED THE FLOORING...SO ONCE WE GET THE FLOOR DOWN ITS JUST GETTING ANOTHER LOCAL TO DONATE RACKS ,SHELVING, AND ETC...SO I THINK WE ARE ON A ROLL...THANK YOU ALSO FOR YOUR PRAYERS...

THIS IS REALLY GONNA HAPPEN..FOR THE KIDS AND MAYBE MY BABY HELPED...

LOVE YOU KOURTNEY LYNNY...MISS YOU MORE THEN MY BREATH I TAKE..

[ericasmom]

Hi All,

for some weird reason, full moon perhaps, just plain very busy with report cards? I did not get one notice from BI for two days and then today I went in and found 3 pages worth of wonderful and pain filled posts. So in brief;

Trudi, so beautifully said, and I agree with everyone here that what you said should be written and used as an opener in a book, an opener to this site, just perfectly said. Another parellel universe...and how goes it with the legal stuff?

Bonnie, the story of Gingy along with the photos serve to make me grin and almost go down to the basement where my ornaments and mementos are. Maybe this weekend, to peek at those sequined pieces of felt, made my the hands of my babies.Thanks for your beautiful story.

Claudia, I am sorry that your brother is one who leaves you wondering how you could be related. I have two of those. All I know is that they are both troubled souls who I no longer feel obliged to assist or pacify. Each day, I thank God for the people in my heart which include all of you wondrous friends.

 Jonathan brought his Dad home from the hospital again, and so Michael is home and happy to be there. The docs have not yet figured out the eye thing, but figure that they can run tests as an outpatient for the time being. I think they figure a few things, that his spirts need to be boosted, that he may get a bit healthier if his spirits are raised, and that perhaps this is it for being home for a long long time. If they are able to ready him for a stem cell transplant, it will be a long and precarious situation. And so this moment is Christmas, home and no matter how long, prayers are answered by this respite.

 And so this is Christmas. IF ever you want to feel the meaning that struck John Lennon when he wrote this song, please listen to it, listen to that and listen to the most fabulous song by Chrissy Hynde, 2000 miles. It is my favorite Christmas Song. She croons, 2000 milessssss is a very long way and it is very cold, snow is falling, I miss you. Before Erz died I asked our music teacher, who was the music teacher for both of my children, if the third graders could one year sing thaat. I gave him a CD and He listened to it. Eri died that summer and wehn we returned to school he secretly had 100 kids learn it along with bells, jingle taps, electric vilolin and guitar and xylephones, and they dedicated it to Erica Eileen Reith for our first Christmas without her. Not a dry eye in the house, and you must listen to it. Not a dry eye in my office right now either.  So truly gorgeous. For all that we are thankful for has little to do with anything but the people that we love, and seeing them smile. Knowing that somehow this moment counts. Our moments count, as do all the moments that brought us here, all of them. All of our joys, all of our blessed 'Gingys', all of our tears and moments of madness, all of the events that have layed down our steps to this place, this moment...all count, and so this is Christmas.

May you all know that my heart overflows at this moment, and this moment fills me like that very silver full moon right now, staring into my window. All of us on different tributaries of the same river, and we flow along with it,sometimes more easily than others. Thank you for your stories, your bravery, your souls and spirits shared. Imagine  our Children, brought to great joy by this remarkable sharing. I feel their huge hearts so filled by thier Mommas and Dads, so filled by the Children they left in your care, and our hearts reflect theirs. Filled and made better by having them in our lives. And they always will be our Children...and so really, this is Christmas.

May peace prevail in our hearts and on the land,

Dee

[heartbeataway]

Lorri,

Wahoo!! You have carpet!!

Do you have any Linens n Things around you?  They are closing and that might be a source for fixtures ...

You are good .... Kourtney is so proud of you!

~b

[heartbeataway]

Dee,

The song ......... yes, This is Christmas.

Thank you!

Bonnie

[mpsmom]

Dee, I tried to find the "2000 miles" song at the I-tunes website but could not.. Thank you for sharing, I cant bear to listen to John Lennons song right now. I told my husband while driving in the car the other night, 9I had changed the radio station about 5 times, )I wasnt in the mood for Chirtmas music, imagine that.... I said " I am going to have to start listening to Mettalica again"... ( no Chirstmas songs on that station).  Thank you for sharing your 2000 mile song, I will continue to try and find it.

Warm Hugs to all of my new friends,

Marcia

[heartbeataway]

Marcia,

I think it says, Pretenders not Chrissy Hynde.  But, she's singing.

Hope that helps. 

Bonnie

[mpsmom]

Bonnie, Thank you... I found it....Are you staying home for the holidays, or going to VA?   I wish there was a place we could all go,maybe it would feel more like Christmas being around people who 'understand' . 

Warm Hugs,

Marcia

[heartbeataway]

Marcia,

Last year we went to Detroit.  Rich has an Aunt who is 83 and she has no family nearby.  She has had some health issues and we thought it might be her last Christmas.  It wasn't.  So, we are going back to Detroit this year.

Since we also anticipate a move to Virginia, my guess is that we will be home (wherever that is!) next year.

Last night, I have a friend who called Rich and wanted to know if it would be okay to come into our home while we're gone and put up a Christmas Tree and decorate.

He told her no, that we're just not ready for that much holiday cheer.  It was a sweet gesture but once again shows that there isn't a good way to explain the feelings behind not decorating and not a lot of understanding.

I'm not sure how I would have reacted to being surprised by a glowing Christmas tree upon our arrival home............

Take it easy on yourself this year.  There is nothing about the first holiday that's easy.  I actually haven't found the subsequent that much easier.

I mentioned a few weeks ago that there is a book called, The Empty Chair that talks about holidays after loss. 

Whatever you decide to do, Bethany will be with you in spirit.  And yes, I know that's not enough,  it's just all we have going forward.

Love!

Bonnie

[mpsmom]

Bonnie, I understand no tree for us, we usually have a huge tree at our office (as well as home)  decorated with shiny ( fake) red apples.  Luckily the new office has no place for this big 6 foot tree, so I called the Nevada Colation for Homeless Teenagers and asked if they would like it... I will drive it over to them on Tuesday.  I have been talking to their Las Vegas director and when i am ready he will work with me to set up a location out here in our little suburb....I have to do something, this may be it.. ..something in her honor.  I never ever made time to read, I know she is watching me and happy I am reading.  Last night I got "Lessons from the light" I found it on the BI website.  I just finished "quit kissing my ashes"  I only hope one day I will 'feel' her around me more disticntly.  I miss her so much, you know....its just so empty.  I feel dead inside.... Detroit should be pretty this time of year.  My prayer are with you and your family.

Warm Hugs to all

Marcia  

[daniellemom]

That Christmas was the first without Danielle it was just two months after she left us. We put up a tree and I shopped for my living children. My youngest being 6 this year would not have understood no tree. It was very hard Christmas morning. I have not put the tree up this year yet but Miss Mattie wants to put it up this weekend. My son is coming home from college today so maybe tomorrow we will go get a tree. Last year when we got the decoration down. I found that Danielle had put all of her orintents in a couple of boxes marked Danielle's. Why I will never know but we did not have to go thru hers. We also put Danielle's headstone up about 2 weeks before Christmas. I know this sounds weird but I felt like I still was able to give her something for Christmas. This year I'm doing toys for tots. I hope a little girl gets the gifts and it makes her smile so big.

[ericasmom]

Hi All,

you are correct Bonnie, it is the PRetenders and Chrissy is the lead of that band, she also went off on her own and I always make the mistake of which songs were done as Pretenders, and which ones when she was on her own.

My students are practicing their songs right now in music class, nothing comes close to that first Christmas as far as amazingly beautiful music and amazingly poignant...but the Holiday show is astounding really, as many cultures as possible are represented. My kids are singing one American song, Adult Christmas Wish List, and one African song, Allunde Alenda. There will be authentic instruments played along with each song, the kids try out for the parts. It really is a feast for the spirit.

Kathy, I do so hpe that you and Barry have a meaningful weekend, that he is able to share his heart with you. Prayers.

Lorri, love the blanket, so pretty.

Marcia, this is nothing any of us wish you to go through, but we hold you in our loving hearts, you and all those experiencing your first holiday on this new path. You will get through it, but it can be very emotional, it can be exhausting, and it may just be another day...it is all so individual. If you are in the reading mode, The Worst Loss. A very good book by two women.

Peace to you all,

Dee

[ericasmom]

Still no tree for me, maybe I will this year, this is our 6th year without Erica. Don't know if I will or won't, but if I had younger ones, I know I would have as well. Whatever you all decide, it is the right thing to do for you this year.

love and hugs

[4everjoeysmom]

Lorri--Yay! Carpet for Kourtney's Kloset!! Thank you Lord!

Dee, I am so happy to hear Michael is home with Jon, however long or short that may be. Being home at all is a miracle and a blessing for him at this point, it seems.

Marcia, was it you who said it would be nice for everyone to have a holiday together--all of us BI parents? Well..anyone that wants to start saving airfare now--cuz I have NO idea what it will be next year from where y'all are--but any and all are welcome here, in the Rain Forest with me. We could do Christmas Boxes face to face, have a pajama party for us girls, cook and eat whatever we want, just be, no decorations or lots of zany stuff--whatever our hearts desire, and of course sharing pictures and stories with a marshmallow bonfire late, late into the night of we so choose... To sum it up, you're all welcome at my place anytime. Hugs, Claudia

Oh! P.s.. I EXCITEDLY report that through my precious friends here and through ministry friends, we have so far received commitments for 29 boxes! We're still going too!! How wonderful is that?! I just cannot even begin to express my joy and gratitude.... THANK YOU!!

[mpsmom]

Claudia, I would love to spend the holidays in the rain forest, we close the office every year between Christmas and New Years Day....I'll RSVP right now for my husband and myself. 

Hugs! Marcia

[lostwoher]

Today is Kayla's 4 month angel date. I have been fine all day until getting home and beginning to relax: the sobbing just hit me full force. My heart is so broken. The only place I want to be is with her. I miss her so terribly much.

Miss Kayla,

Hello sweet baby girl. Mom could really use a hug from you right now. I love you and miss you so very very much.

[mpsmom]

Lynn, I am so sorry, my heart goes out to you.  I wish there were something I could do to take away all the pain we all are going through.  One breath at a time, that's what i do to slow the uncontrollable tears....it helps a tiny little bit.

Warm Hugs 

Marcia  

[heartbeataway]

Marcia, sweet, sweet Marcia,

You, so new in your own grief, reaching out to others.  Heartwarming!

We also donated our tree. Just not the same.

The idea of opening a branch for homeless teens is a wonderful, different idea. You have such a big heart! 

Bonnie

[lostwoher]

This is only a brief look into my daughters life:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53ChxYumF7I

[johnnysmama]

Bonnie

Love, love the Gingy story. I do a big unit on "The Gingerbread Man" with my Kindergartners and a play. I will be thinking of Jason as they make their Gingys.

 

Dee

I am from Akron and teach for Akron Public Schools-Chrissy Hynde's hometown you know. Love her do NOT know the song-but will soon. Thank you. Loved your Christmas program story.

 

Lynn

I am sorry all our days are based on how long our children have been gone. So sorry how raw it is for you, Lorri and Marcia.

 

Now for the tree, my husband is driving me crazy. We decorated a small tree for Johnny's grave where we wrote notes to Johnny all over the bulbs on the tree(his sisters and us) well my husband yelled at me we cant have a tree for Johnny and not one for his sisters-as much as it pains me he put up our tree. I went and bought all blue and silver decorations trying to comply with what is right but honestly I hate to look at it. But I knew I could not look at Johnnys ornaments. Johnny was always Santa and NEVER missed a Christmas at home. Never. Well, last night here he comes upstairs with ANOTHER tree! He put up another tree on our landing upstairs! I kept asking him why?He said because he wanted it.  Like you, Bonnie not up to all of the holiday yet. Seeing this tree is hard on me. I wish he and I wanted the same things when we are grieving. We always seem to be working against each other. It shouldn't be that way.Not sure how to handle this.

 

Lorri

Glad you have flooring. I think your project is wonderful and so very giving. I know Kourtney is smiling. Keep us posted on your progress. Kourtney's dress is so unique and gorgeous. So is her blanket-your additions are also making her smile.

 

Claudia

I would love to spend Christmas with you. Helping someone. I am sooooo glad your box project is doing well. I forgot, were we to send a note or picture if our gift was given in memory of our child?

 

Hang in there everyone, 13 days on the countdown clock.

Peace,

Kay

 

[mpsmom]

Lynn, that was absolutely beautiful , she is a beautiful angel ..the music was perfect.......I had never heard that song, thank you so much for sharing your baby with us.

Warm hugs to you on this cold night

Marcia

[johnnysmama]

Lynn

thank you for sharing Kayla's you tube video. Her eyes are amazing. It showed to me how loved she is by family and friends. Very sweet. Thank you for sharing her with us. What a beautiful girl.

Hugs to you,

Kay

[lagrangel]

Thanks everyone for the prayers for Brent's birthday and Brian's birthday celebration. It was a hard day at work for both my husband and I Thursday. My husband and I went to the cementary Thursday evening and lit the eternity candle for Brent.   We drove to Evansville that evening and took Brian and his girlfirend and our other son and his wife out to supper and had a wonderful evening celebrating Brian's special day. The day was hard but the evening was so good to be with our other boys.  Brian came home this evening from college and was glad to see the tree was up. My husband said on the way home today from Evansville I sure miss those hugs from Brent and his laugh. We both miss our boy..... love you Brenty!!! 

                                                   Love and peace to all, Lana 

[ericasmom]

Oh Lana, I did not wish your Brent a Happy Birthday, I apologize. I do know the heart wrenching and bitter sweet feel to such a day as that, but oh what a day...bringing our babies into our lives. ANd may Brian move forward with the light of his brother guiding him.

I love the utube Lynn, and I am so sorry for the mark of time. It is a very difficult piece of this journey, the calendar, the clock, the seasonal change, teh dates of special times. Four months was when I had my hardest time, when the shock had worn away, eroded by time, and tears. A necessary evil, in order to then move to the next steps. Please know that we hold you as you cry.

The rain forest hu Claudia? If my Son would also come, I would come gladly, helping do the work of angels as you do. I hope you received my gift and I too will send a bit of a note but need the address as well. Thanks all for helping me do it online.

Lorri, so happythat the carpet is coming, how lovely a gift at this time.

Kay, I am sorry that the grief process is so different for the two of you, I think this can be more common than not but that does not help you. It sounds as though you and Kathy are going through similar times. Get a hold of that song Kay, by your hometown Pretenders Girl, Chrissy, and see if it doesn't fill your heart. I will try to learn how to put that clip someday, on this site for you guys to see and hear. It was amazing.

Love to All,

Dee