What positive can you list today?

[KayC]

3 minutes ago, Missing Him31623 said:

I woke up this morning and I have people that love and support me.

I am glad you do, everyone needs that but not everyone has it. You have another thing...you have this grief forum where others get it and understand, and it's a safe place for you to post.  I see you lost your husband not quite three months ago. When you are ready, maybe you will tell us a bit about you and him, and how you lost him.

Grief Process

This is not a one-size-fits-all, what strikes us one day will be different a few months/years from now, so please save/print this for reference!

I want to share an article I wrote of the things I've found helpful over the years, in the hopes something will be of help to you either now or on down the road.

TIPS TO MAKE YOUR WAY THROUGH GRIEF

There's no way to sum up how to go on in a simple easy answer, but I encourage you to read the other threads here, little by little you will learn how to make your way through this.  I do want to give you some pointers though, of some things I've learned on my journey.

• Take one day at a time.  The Bible says each day has enough trouble of its own, I've found that to be true, so don't bite off more than you can chew.  It can be challenging enough just to tackle today.  I tell myself, I only have to get through today.  Then I get up tomorrow and do it all over again.  To think about the "rest of my life" invites anxiety.
• Don't be afraid, grief may not end but it evolves.  The intensity lessens eventually.
• Visit your doctor.  Tell them about your loss, any troubles sleeping, suicidal thoughts, anxiety attacks.  They need to know these things in order to help you through it...this is all part of grief.
• Suicidal thoughts are common in early grief.  If they're reoccurring, call a suicide hotline.  I felt that way early on, but then realized it wasn't that I wanted to die so much as I didn't want to go through what I'd have to face if I lived.  Back to taking a day at a time.  Suicide Hotline - Call 1-800-273-8255 or www.crisis textline.org or US and Canada: text 741741 UK: text 85258 | Ireland: text 50808
• Give yourself permission to smile.  It is not our grief that binds us to them, but our love, and that continues still.
• Try not to isolate too much.  
• There's a balance to reach between taking time to process our grief, and avoiding it...it's good to find that balance for yourself.  We can't keep so busy as to avoid our grief, it has a way of haunting us, finding us, and demanding we pay attention to it!  Some people set aside time every day to grieve.  I didn't have to, it searched and found me!
• Self-care is extremely important, more so than ever.  That person that would have cared for you is gone, now you're it...learn to be your own best friend, your own advocate, practice self-care.  You'll need it more than ever.
• Recognize that your doctor isn't trained in grief, find a professional grief counselor that is.  We need help finding ourselves through this maze of grief, knowing where to start, etc.  They have not only the knowledge, but the resources.
• In time, consider a grief support group.  If your friends have not been through it themselves, they may not understand what you're going through, it helps to find someone somewhere who DOES "get it". 
• Be patient, give yourself time.  There's no hurry or timetable about cleaning out belongings, etc.  They can wait, you can take a year, ten years, or never deal with it.  It's okay, it's what YOU are comfortable with that matters.  
• Know that what we are comfortable with may change from time to time.  That first couple of years I put his pictures up, took them down, up, down, depending on whether it made me feel better or worse.  Finally, they were up to stay.
• Consider a pet.  Not everyone is a pet fan, but I've found that my dog helps immensely.  It's someone to love, someone to come home to, someone happy to see me, someone that gives me a purpose...I have to come home and feed him.  Besides, they're known to relieve stress.  Well maybe not in the puppy stage when they're chewing up everything, but there's older ones to adopt if you don't relish that stage.
• Make yourself get out now and then.  You may not feel interest in anything, things that interested you before seem to feel flat now.  That's normal.  Push yourself out of your comfort zone just a wee bit now and then.  Eating out alone, going to a movie alone or church alone, all of these things are hard to do at first.  You may feel you flunked at it, cried throughout, that's okay, you did it, you tried, and eventually you get a little better at it.  If I waited until I had someone to do things with I'd be stuck at home a lot.
• Keep coming here.  We've been through it and we're all going through this together.
• Look for joy in every day.  It will be hard to find at first, but in practicing this, it will change your focus so you can embrace what IS rather than merely focusing on what ISN'T.  It teaches you to live in the present and appreciate fully.  You have lost your big joy in life, and all other small joys may seem insignificant in comparison, but rather than compare what used to be to what is, learn the ability to appreciate each and every small thing that comes your way...a rainbow, a phone call from a friend, unexpected money, a stranger smiling at you, whatever the small joy, embrace it.  It's an art that takes practice and is life changing if you continue it.
• Eventually consider volunteering.  It helps us when we're outward focused, it's a win/win.

(((hugs)))  Praying for you today.

 

[Sheilz]

Positive today:  My primary upped my dosage of medication (but it makes me a bit scared to be on it).  Plus we had a long good talk.  Hope it helps me.  But she talked about me moving out of this house into something smaller like a condo with no maintenance.  It crushed me thinking I would leave this house & try to pretend that our life here never happened.  I know it's crazy thinking but I can't leave.  And who makes those kind of decisions right away.  I was pretty much blown away with this portion of our talk.

Another positive:  It showered today & we really need the rain & the sun is out right now making everything look nice.  I think I will sit in the yard for a bit.

30 minutes ago, Missing Him31623 said:

I woke up this morning and I have people that love and support me.

Both are definite positive things.  Having people love & support you is a blessing.  

[Gator M]

18 minutes ago, Sheilz said:

Positive today:  My primary upped my dosage of medication (but it makes me a bit scared to be on it).  Plus we had a long good talk.  Hope it helps me.  But she talked about me moving out of this house into something smaller like a condo with no maintenance.  It crushed me thinking I would leave this house & try to pretend that our life here never happened.  I know it's crazy thinking but I can't leave.  And who makes those kind of decisions right away.  I was pretty much blown away with this portion of our talk.

Another positive:  It showered today & we really need the rain & the sun is out right now making everything look nice.  I think I will sit in the yard for a bit.

Both are definite positive things.  Having people love & support you is a blessing.  

Could you bring in a roommate and hire people to maintain your home?

[RichS]

54 minutes ago, Missing Him31623 said:

I woke up this morning and I have people that love and support me.

Which is more important than any amount of money that you could have..............

[shawnt]

Went to grief group again , have a few things to think about.

On the positive I am sure your lilac will grow back, they have a root system that will send more shoots.It may take a few years but the usually come back thicker

[widower2]

3 hours ago, Sheilz said:

Positive today:  My primary upped my dosage of medication (but it makes me a bit scared to be on it).  Plus we had a long good talk.  Hope it helps me.  But she talked about me moving out of this house into something smaller like a condo with no maintenance.  It crushed me thinking I would leave this house & try to pretend that our life here never happened.  I know it's crazy thinking but I can't leave.  And who makes those kind of decisions right away.  I was pretty much blown away with this portion of our talk.

 

Example #23,2001 of why GPs should never give out psychological/life advice...and for the same reason I would not go to a grief therapist for help with a sprained elbow. 

If you don't want to move out of your home....don't. And ignore Dr Doofus. 

 

[Sheilz]

2 hours ago, Gator M said:

Could you bring in a roommate and hire people to maintain your home?

An option I will consider when the time comes.  But I can't even think about things like that yet.  But if it means being able to stay here, I will do what I have to do to make it work.  Our life together was here & I'm not ready to leave that behind.  

 

5 minutes ago, widower2 said:

If you don't want to move out of your home....don't. And ignore Dr Doofus.

She's been actually very good with me except today's talk about moving.  Who can even think about things like that right now.  Plus Brian loved this house.  It was part of him & it is a small part of him that lives on.  I see him everywhere here (as sad as it makes me).  

I'm actually looking for a grief therapist but can't find one so I will start seeing a jack-of-all-trades therapist in a couple weeks.  It's all I could get & I need help so I'll take what I can get at this time.

[widower2]

You might want to try this: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists

Enter your area, then when the list comes up, click "Issues" and click on Grief

 

 

 

[KayC]

12 hours ago, Sheilz said:

But she talked about me moving out of this house into something smaller

Have you thought about having a good handyman/yard maintenance guy? I have that in a neighbor, he gives me a break financially, for instance, last time he was here he mowed my (large) lawn, weed whacked, blew off my roof and cleaned my gutters (I'd already unplugged them), checked my trees, and cleaned my chimney...all for $80.  That is a steal! I appreciate him so much and know full well the steal I'm getting in his services. He literally makes it possible for me to live here!

9 hours ago, Sheilz said:

She's been actually very good with me except today's talk about moving.  Who can even think about things like that right now.  Plus Brian loved this house.  It was part of him & it is a small part of him that lives on.  I see him everywhere here (as sad as it makes me).  

Then respond to her that it's essential not to make rash decisions early on in grief, tell her you'll let her know in a few years! 

9 hours ago, Sheilz said:

I'm actually looking for a grief therapist but can't find one

Have you talked with your health insurance, they might have suggestions? Also ask your pastor, look for CAFA in your area as they do income based and have good ones.  I'd be scared of a "jack of all trades" one.  Thanks widowers for your suggestion!

 

Within that group (and there are many) you'd have to find out which ones specialize in grief.
Grief specialist

[KayC]

https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/how-to-find-a-therapist/
https://refugeingrief.com/2020/01/07/how-to-find-a-grief-therapist/

[Gator M]

12 hours ago, Sheilz said:

An option I will consider when the time comes.  But I can't even think about things like that yet.  But if it means being able to stay here, I will do what I have to do to make it work.  Our life together was here & I'm not ready to leave that behind.  

Now I have found (IMHO), Men tend to want to move...change.  That is definitely the case for me.

Men also tend to isolate and not talk...That is NOT my case.

Women in general, tend to want to stay...they "nest" 

Women will also have roommates and a network of friends.   Remember the old show "Golden Girls"

However, you know what's best for you and again...it's still early.   

Ann and I were planning on downsizing when we got the termites...we were all set to move.  Now she's in heaven and I here...waiting on arbitration.

 

[KayC]

Yeah, except no roomies for me please! And not so much the friends.  I nest...to the point of isolation sometimes, but I have my Kodie.

[Gator M]

4 minutes ago, KayC said:

Yeah, except no roomies for me please! And not so much the friends.  I nest...to the point of isolation sometimes, but I have my Kodie.

And that is why after this arbitration mess is settled, I plan on living with my son or BIL. 

The alternative will be living on a liveaboard boat or tiny home...but then I'm still alone.

 

 

[Sheilz]

8 hours ago, Gator M said:

Women in general, tend to want to stay...they "nest" 

I definitely want to stay.  I was in the yard today (going on my positive for the day) & I felt that this will be "our" home forever.  I might change someday but don't think so.  I need Brian around me right now.  I'm just starting to talk to him a bit & cry to him a lot and I'm not sure if it's helping or not.  Probably not because I'm such a heartbroken mess. But that's what's happening now.

 

8 hours ago, KayC said:

Yeah, except no roomies for me please! And not so much the friends.  I nest...to the point of isolation sometimes,

Honestly, i don't want a roomie either.  I don't have many friends & I was pretty much content at home with Brian to the point of isolation.  I didn't need anything else.  So I don't think I would be a good roomie.  I would just isolate in my bedroom to stay out of her way.  But if it's between leaving & needing a roomie... I will consider that option.

8 hours ago, Gator M said:

The alternative will be living on a liveaboard boat or tiny home...but then I'm still alone.

OMG that sounds pretty cool actually.  And I would like being alone except when I wanted to be social.  I'm happy that you are starting to somewhat figure things out.  

19 hours ago, widower2 said:

You might want to try this: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists

I went on the site & picked a couple that I am going to email for a free 15 minute consult.  Thank you so much for the info.

 

12 hours ago, KayC said:

https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/how-to-find-a-therapist/
https://refugeingrief.com/2020/01/07/how-to-find-a-grief-therapist/

Thank you so much for these articles.  Both are excellent.  I made my notes on finding a grief therapist.  Now to narrow down the field.  

[Sheilz]

My positive for the day:  My daughter (in Florida) sent me flowers & DoorDash'ed me a meal from Chipotle.  AND.... I sat in the yard today for a bit & enjoyed the nice weather.  I live in the city but there were lots of birds chirping and I seen a black squirrel.

[KayC]

That sounds nice, Sheilz.  

[widower2]

Went to a winery with a few people today. Weather was perfect! Even got some sun, which a pasty white guy like me can always use    

[KayC]

Sounds wonderful!

[Sheilz]

My positive today:  I had a bit of Brian's ashes put in a charm on a chain and today I hung the necklace in his "baby", his '67 Belair.  It's hanging on the rearview mirror with his dice.  I'm sure he definitely approved of this & is smiling comfortably.  It made me happy also (while crying).  But it was a tender moment for us.  We had so many good times in that car cruising around & car shows.

[widower2]

Today I didn't bust on Wordle. That's the highlight of my wild and crazy life today!

[KayC]

@widower2 you got me hooked on Wordle, been about a year now!  Most of the time I get it but once I didn't make it in six tries, too many combinations it could have been.

9 hours ago, Sheilz said:

We had so many good times in that car cruising around & car shows.

My George used to belong to a car club, we'd go to the car shows, it was fun!  I'm glad you got his ashes in jewelry and got to hang it on his "baby," a good place for it!  With very special memories...

Woke up after 4 1/2 hours sleep, laid there 3 hours, nada.  I'm going to be dragging today! My positive yesterday:
Kodie found a queen mating with her drone bee INSIDE our house, when I saw them on the patio door, I closed the screen, then reached around and shoved the patio door open and they escaped! Big relief, I'm allergic to bees, don't need them in the house!

[Sheilz]

My positive for today:  I called a friend & went for a walk with her.  AND... she let me cry while we walked. 

[Gator M]

I can positively say that I'm crying less.

I can positively say my mornings are horrible...I can barely get moving in the morning...no really.

I can positively say that I don't see much of a future. 

I can positively say that I am still here.  

[Sheilz]

3 hours ago, Gator M said:

I can positively say that I'm crying less.

I can positively say my mornings are horrible...I can barely get moving in the morning...no really.

I can positively say that I am crying more.

I can positively say that my mornings are horrible... I can barely get out of bed... sometimes I don't.

I can positively say that I'm still here (or the shell of the person I was).  

I try to look for something positive at the end of the day & I do (but I'm lying to myself about it).  But I still look. And I still try to post something.... hoping that someday it will feel like a positive.  Usually I just don't care.  I guess we need to keep trying but it's so hard to keep this up.  

[KayC]

Today I had a haircut appt, it's been 12 days since we've been anywhere except our walks, so I brought Kodie with me, he was an angel, so I took him to the park and he loved it. So that's my positive for today!

[RichS]

My positive was I got to drive my son to a friends house nearby. When we got there he handed his friend's Dad a Get Well Card for her (his daughter). She's having kidney transplant surgery tomorrow. We've known this girl for years and she's had various surgeries; but despite that, I've never seen a frown on her face.

On our way home my son said he felt good giving that card to her. He should........................Prayers are with her for a successful surgery.

[Sheilz]

My positive today:  I finally went through the mail.  I didn't do anything with it but I weeded out the junk & put the bills in a pile.  But that was something I've been putting off for a few weeks.  I also put all my sympathy cards in a pretty little box but now I think I might put them back up.  OMG can I just make a simple decision?????

[widower2]

 

1 hour ago, Sar123 said:

My positive is I had to create a new account (had to use a different email)after being locked out of my old account for days due to losing my password and not being able to reset it because it would never send me an email to do it with. Anyway I was successful in creating a new account. I was ready to give up! 

Long as you made it back - wb 

 

46 minutes ago, Sheilz said:

My positive today:  I finally went through the mail.  

Oh man I am terrible about that these days. I check my mailbox less and less as it's all junk mail. 

 

[Gator M]

I had a suck day BUT I went to Bible study tonight and is was good...with great fellowship.

 

[Missing Him31623]

On 6/9/2023 at 5:45 PM, RichS said:

Which is more important than any amount of money that you could have..............

Love

On 6/9/2023 at 5:45 PM, RichS said:

Which is more important than any amount of money that you could have..............

Love and Family 

[Sheilz]

A couple positives today.....  I renewed my car registration (online), cut up a melon & took the trash out.  Not sure they are positives but at least I got a couple things done.  Someone suggested I make a list of things to do & cross them off as I do them.  I tried, got discouraged because the list just kept getting longer & longer.  So now each day I make a list of things I do get done, or something that makes me smile.  Even the smallest things (like above) make me feel like I'm getting somewhere.  But haven't found something that makes me smile yet but I'm looking.

[widower2]

Your list idea is a smart one. And oh btw - you survived. In those earliest days of my journey through grief, I always considered that a mighty accomplishment. 

I did nothing of consequence. But I'm on PTO so in a way I consider that a positive    Been binge-watching movies this week.

[KayC]

I live off lists, I keep a spiral notebook with things I need to do or appointments to go to, and cross things off but these are important things I don't want to forget, not insignificant.  I've been doing this for years, I have the two most recent ones, likely tossed the others away.

What's PTO?

My positive for yesterday, other than the power coming back under two hours, was Iris and I went to a new restaurant in town called Happy Belly Burger, they aren't equipped for Keto so I made us 90 second bread with Everything's Bagel seasoning and cheese in it and we had them put the burgers on them, OMG it was so wonderful! Monterey Jack Cheese, Mushrooms, grilled onions!

And for today...going back to the vet to get Kodie's stitches out. He's been a registered service dog and I've never tested his capabilities in a grocery store yet but am going to try him out on it today...I don't want to pay the gas to make another long trip back just for that so will take him in with me. He's a little too big to put in the basket so will halve his leash and tether to the cart...or me.  Wish me luck!

[Sheilz]

10 hours ago, widower2 said:

Your list idea is a smart one. And oh btw - you survived. In those earliest days of my journey through grief, I always considered that a mighty accomplishment.

Writing a list with what I have accomplished seems to make me want to do "anything" to put it on the list.  So it is helping with doing things.  Not helping with the crying though.  And yes, I survived & that is a BIG accomplishment at this point.  All this pain & sadness & crying is taking it's toll and making me wonder if I'm going to be able to keep this up.  I know I don't have any option, but what happens.......  feeling so scared about my future.

[Sheilz]

1 hour ago, KayC said:

Wish me luck!

Good luck on your big day.  You will get a lot accomplished too.  Hope you post how it went.  

[foreverhis]

7 hours ago, KayC said:

What's PTO?

Hi Kay.  Fingers crossed and prayers sent that today goes well for both you and Kodie.

PTO is paid time off.  It's a more catch all than when we used to have "sick days" and "vacation days."  Some companies give you a certain number of days that can be used for anything.  Some companies offer "unlimited PTO," but with certain restrictions like you can't endlessly "call in sick."  The company my BIL works for has unlimited PTO.  He said that the company found almost all employees don't abuse the privilege because they know if they do, it will be back to limited days and scheduling time off months in advance.

It's a good thing too because yesterday my sister let me know that my BIL and their dog were hit by a car while on their walk.  It was a hit and run.  Both were seriously, but not critically, injured.  Both are home with her taking care of them.  It's going to be a long road to full recovery.  My BIL has a "mild" fracture in his spine and several other injuries.  Their dog had several lacerations that needed stitching, but no broken bones and no signs of internal bleeding or organ damage.

She's most worried about their dog because he's a McNab mix (medium-large) and 13 years old.  He's already been through a lot.  He lost one eye to neglect when he was young.  Then a bit more than 2 years ago, he nearly died right here at my home.  I think I mentioned it at the time.  He had a large tumor on his spleen.  No symptoms at all until it ruptured on the drive down here (vets and surgeon said they could not have known) and caused internal bleeding.  He could barely walk in the door, so we called our vet, but it was end of the day and they had to direct us to the emergency hospital 40 minutes away.  The sweet boy really saved his own life by slurping down endless amounts of water while we talked to the vets.  It kept his blood pressure up enough to get him in for surgery.  There was a 70%-ish chance it was cancerous, but my sister and BIL decided to raid their travel fund, pay for surgery, and hope for a miracle.  They got it!  The tumor was benign and he recovered beautifully.  But as my sister asked me this morning, "Just how many more miracles can we expect for him?"  Though my BIL has the more serious injuries overall, their boy is an older dog and it's a real worry. 

They were both stable enough to come home late the same night.  I don't have more details yet, but the police were there taking witness statements when my sister arrived.  She gave her information, checked in with her somewhat concussed husband while the EMTs loaded him onto a backboard and into the ambulance, and then rushed their dog to the emergency vet.  She's not hopeful they'll find the driver, but that's of little matter at this point.  We just want both "her boys" to recover fully.  So I guess my positive of that is that they both survived and didn't have to be hospitalized at this point.

So there's your novel-length answer to what PTO is.

And my actual positive for today (well, yesterday) is that last night my baking partner and I made dinner together.  Cosi really cemented her friendship with him.  They played with her toys, she flirted herself into getting practically endless head, chin, and upper chest rubs, and then she fully relaxed on her bed while we had dinner.  She doesn't do that unless she feels 100% safe and secure with someone visiting.

Today and tomorrow, I have Raleigh for the afternoon.  Not our usual days, but her mom is out of town (helping another friend through the nearing first year death anniversary of her husband) and her dad is at work.  I told my sister that I'm going to hug and kiss and cuddle both Cosi and Raleigh extra because it's such a reminder to not take things for granted--as if any of us here need reminding!💗

[KayC]

Ah-ha, question answered!  And I'm glad their dog made it through okay!

Poor Kodie, getting his stitches out, they cut them VERY close to his face under his eye, each one hurt him and he cried but was instantly fine once they quit!  He went into the store with me and was a total angel! I just could not ask for a better dog! I put him in the top of the cart, next time will line it with his blanket, I know it wasn't comfortable but he was a real trooper. I came home and put him in the yard to do his business and drink some water and somewhere in there he managed to eat.  We went down to Jazzy's and sure enough she picked him up in her mouth and her mom had to get onto her, I knew she would, she always does, in spite of what an angel Iris thinks she is, that's wishful thinking. I let the dogs play about 45 min. and then walked him home, now he's sleeping off the day!  And you never saw a more made over dog than he was in the grocery store today!

Annie, enjoy Raleigh today/tomorrow!

[widower2]

Thanks fh for the PTO explanation - sorry to hear about your BIL but glad you had a nice dinner. 

Kay glad Kodie is stitch free!

[KayC]

Annie, OMG, I totally missed the paragraph about your BIL and dog, just went up and reread...I am so sorry!  Are they back home? Praying for them both...

9 hours ago, Sar123 said:

I told them I wanted to talk about him and that I didn’t want him forgotten so they relaxed and we told a few stories about him that made us smile and laugh.

It sounds like in so doing, you made them both comfortable and I'm glad you got that time to share stories.  I'm glad you had that time and it sounds like a good day!

Found out when Iris and I went to dinner together night before last, it was their anv. as well as George's bdy.

[Sheilz]

13 hours ago, KayC said:

He went into the store with me and was a total angel! I just could not ask for a better dog!

And that was my positive for yesterday.  

[KayC]

I was so stressed about yesterday, what the vet would say/do, how it'd go in the store with him, I needn't have been. This morning I have my Spirometry testing, nervous about that, will be glad when it's over.  Don't much care for my doctor, but it's all there is locally and at my age I hate to drive more than I need to.  My BS was elevated a bit this morning in spite of doing under 20 carbs yesterday. Hoping it'll be normal tomorrow or even after our morning walk.

[RichS]

I got my blood test results in the e-mail yesterday and my Triglycerides are now in the good range. My cardiologist (with kind of a non-approving stare) suggested I start taking fish oil pills again a few months ago. Funny how things work out when you do the things you're supposed to do. 

[KayC]

I went to the doctor for my spirometry test and they wouldn't administer it because I'm not on an inhaler.  Okay but my lung function is great so why would I take it! 

The person that runs the diabetic group with me suggested to tell my doctor to put a note in my file.

[Gator M]

9 minutes ago, KayC said:

I went to the doctor for my spirometry test and they wouldn't administer it because I'm not on an inhaler.  Okay but my lung function is great so why would I take it! 

The person that runs the diabetic group with me suggested to tell my doctor to put a note in my file.

OMG...Don't get me started.

 

Ann told doctors her sister died of bone cancer...2 months later STILL not in her file...4 months later...she's dead...Multiple Myeloma.

 

No one listens 

[KayC]

My BIL of 50 years (who had been in perfect health) died of stomach cancer, why? Because the USDA approved Nexium and he was prescribed it.  Again, shake head. Of course the USDA knew it caused it but they're in cahoots with the drug companies (follow the $ trail!) who stand to make $ off of it.

I was prescribed it years ago too only went off after two days because I couldn't tolerate it. Turns out it was the carbs because now I don't have IBS.

So it could have been me.

[RichS]

Kay:  I'm glad you made the right decision to stop taking that medication. I trust the drug companies as much as I trust the oil companies. Remember in the 70's we were warned that we were running out of oil? The U.S. was the largest exporter of oil last year. 

[Gator M]

13 minutes ago, KayC said:

My BIL of 50 years (who had been in perfect health) died of stomach cancer, why? Because the USDA approved Nexium and he was prescribed it.  Again, shake head. Of course the USDA knew it caused it but they're in cahoots with the drug companies (follow the $ trail!) who stand to make $ off of it.

I was prescribed it years ago too only went off after two days because I couldn't tolerate it. Turns out it was the carbs because now I don't have IBS.

So it could have been me.

I think that's the FDA BUT I hear ya.

I'm not trusting many of our agencies or big businesses.  It's sad...but greed is evil and evil is ruling the world right now.

 

[Gator M]

12 minutes ago, RichS said:

Kay:  I'm glad you made the right decision to stop taking that medication. I trust the drug companies as much as I trust the oil companies. Remember in the 70's we were warned that we were running out of oil? The U.S. was the largest exporter of oil last year. 

We're not supposed to get political but the oil issue was/is politics.

But again...evil is everywhere.

Nothing works without morality, ethics, and a love of humanity: not government, not education, not business, not society.

It's a heart issue.

[widower2]

2 hours ago, Gator M said:

We're not supposed to get political

No we're not, so please don't. Also this is the positive  thread, remember?  

[Sar123]

3 hours ago, Gator M said:

Ann told doctors her sister died of bone cancer...2 months later STILL not in her file...4 months later...she's dead...Multiple Myeloma.

My husband started complaining of stomach pain in April and his doctor told him it was just old age (he was 65 at the time) and to take probiotics and antacids. My husband told him it wasn’t heartburn. He was in pain all summer and kept telling me he was going to follow his dr’s orders even though I kept telling him his symptoms were not normal and to see another dr. He finally went back to the dr in October and he was still treating it was heartburn and had him on prilosec x 2 wks. With no improvement, my husband insisted on a scan and they discovered a tumor on his pancreas which turned out to be inoperable. As we met with new drs, they would ask if he had gone to his dr with his symptoms and when we told them he had and what happened, they were silent and changed the subject. It’s hard to find a good doctor.