What positive can you list today?

[Roxeanne]

Tonight i will go out with friends...six or eight couples!

How positive i became to enjoyin it without suffering to be the only one who lost her soulmate ? 

[shawnt]

Got to observe one of my son's start to turn into the man he will be. I was proud and I know his mother would have been to. Nice to see the gentleness his mother nurtured in him . That was my positive for yesterday. For today I think it being sunny will be enough.

[widower2]

1 hour ago, Roxeanne said:

Tonight i will go out with friends...six or eight couples!

How positive i became to enjoyin it without suffering to be the only one who lost her soulmate ? 

I think getting out with folks is almost always a good idea, even if it's hard to really get into it, just for the sake of getting out of the house and being around people. Don't let those walls close in. 

[Gator M]

I got through church without crying.

 

[widower2]

25 minutes ago, shawnt said:

Got to observe one of my son's start to turn into the man he will be. I was proud and I know his mother would have been to. Nice to see the gentleness his mother nurtured in him . That was my positive for yesterday. For today I think it being sunny will be enough.

Great that you can appreciate that. Re the weather, it was OK yesterday and went to a winery, nothing amazing but again good to get out. Today and tomorrow are supposed to be rainy, ugh. Might be a housework day. 

[Gator M]

5 minutes ago, widower2 said:

Great that you can appreciate that. Re the weather, it was OK yesterday and went to a winery, nothing amazing but again good to get out. Today and tomorrow are supposed to be rainy, ugh. Might be a housework day. 

At least you can get chores done.  I'm lucky to get anything done that is not a must.

[widower2]

I don't do chores unless they are a must.    Like "OK running out of clean clothes, looks like it's time to do laundry"   

[foreverhis]

Just now, widower2 said:

I don't do chores unless they are a must.    Like "OK running out of clean clothes, looks like it's time to do laundry"   

OMG, me too! My 3 year old washer broke last summer in an absolutely dangerous way. I’ve been trying to get the company to make it right since then. At this point, I have decided to get a new wash tower of the only other brand available. We have to have the unitized kind due to space; very limited options. The dryer still works (knock on wood, etc.)

In the meantime, neighbor friends have graciously offered to let me haul my laundry across the street or next door (they basically take turns) when needed. Every time, it comes down to, “I have one clean pair of undies, so time to see whose washer is available.” Of course I thank them with home baked goodies or other consumables or favors.

Just yesterday, one neighbor friend needed help installing and setting up a new TV and swivel stand, and signing up for a new streaming service. Ah ha! Down to one clean pair. I dragged my laundry over and we did the loads while another friend and I took care of the TV situation. I joked that if I bought more undies, I would only have to do laundry once a month, instead of every 2 weeks.😅

[Sheilz]

Can't think of chores yet.  There's nothing that I can do right now so chores are out the window. 

I did order a pack of 20 undies from Amazon.  They better come quickly.

This sux

[shawnt]

Where I live spring is just springing and tonight the frogs and other night things are singing, she loved this time of year, and I am enjoying the song tonight.

Thank you for making me think of positive things, I think it's stopping me from thinking the other way

[widower2]

omg the frogs are OBNOXIOUSLY loud this time of year here lol - if I went out on my deck I couldn't hear myself think! 

[KayC]

19 hours ago, foreverhis said:

The dryer still works (knock on wood, etc.)

Mine has only been worked on once in 46 years! Not much too them. Washers are different.  My old one lasted for over 40 years, there were a lot of things I liked about it. The one I have now uses a lot of water even if for a small load! And you can't see what stage it's in.  It's harder on towels, etc, seems like it beats them to death!

9 hours ago, shawnt said:

I am enjoying the song tonight.

Frogs are a sign of balance, so I always take it that there's harmony in my place when the frogs are out.
Looks to be a beautiful day today. Kodie and Panther are outside playing with each other.

[foreverhis]

11 hours ago, widower2 said:

omg the frogs are OBNOXIOUSLY loud this time of year here lol - if I went out on my deck I couldn't hear myself think! 

We have lots of frogs during fall and early spring. Only somewhat obnoxious.

But our entire area is full of bird sanctuaries. That’s a good thing, of course, except that they poop everywhere and we have to wash things down often throughout the year (unless we have rains, of course). Miss Cosi loves to chatter at them from her perches near the upstairs windows.

But this year, there is one bird driving me crazy. He or she has the most annoying loud repetitive call I have ever heard! And it’s all darn day long. If I am out in the yard, I say, “Bird, I would really love to strangle you!” I wouldn’t, but it sure feels good to say it under my breath. 

[KayC]

Sounds like how I feel about bluejays...

[RichS]

4 hours ago, foreverhis said:

But this year, there is one bird driving me crazy. He or she has the most annoying loud repetitive call I have ever heard! And it’s all darn day long.

We have some woods in our backyard. Love to hear the birds when I'm in the gazebo. The only problem with birds is with our woodpecker friends in the spring. For some reason, it's home building season for them; and they love to peck holes in soffets and wood framed houses. Our neighbors next door have dark brown, wood stained exterior. To the woodpeckers it looks like a giant tree. I could hear them pecking on our exterior, but especially on theirs. In our 26 years here, he's never stained his house a different color. Their solution is put small pieces of wood over the holes; which if they continue to do that, their house should look like a ramshackle shack in 20 years.

[widower2]

4 hours ago, KayC said:

Sounds like how I feel about bluejays...

Blue jays are such pretty birds. It's a shame they're so nasty.

[widower2]

Despite totally not wanting to, given it was overdue, I vacuumed today.

:wild life:

I also have tomorrow off. That's positive.   

[Shinka]

I despise vaccuumcleaners, wretched things. They make too much noise, they smell, the cable always gets twisted around it in some mysterious way and it keeps bumping into things. I do it once a week and use a brush the rest of the time. The brush always does exactly what I want it to do. Now why can't vaccuumcleaners be like that? 

[KayC]

13 hours ago, widower2 said:

Blue jays are such pretty birds. It's a shame they're so nasty.

They are gorgeous, but oh my they make screechy sounds, and LOUD!  Still wishing I could get a glimpse of the bird that makes such a beautiful song in my tree, can't see it!

Today I have to make the LONG trek to Eugene to the dermatologist, go further yet to get gas, and back to Springfield to get groceries, then the long trek home on the highway, including 40 min. waits for construction.

My positive tonight will be having made it through the day. Thankfully Iris will come get Kodie midtime for a play date with Jazzy.  Tomorrow will be my turn to do the same. I have more appointment Thursday and Friday. Rough week, it's like this in the Spring, catch up from being snowed in in the winter.

My positive yesterday was getting my A/C set up. It's a stand alone and my windows are very old and need replaced but aren't going to be (way too expensive), not trued up, one fell out, I managed to get it back in, had to fit the exhaust into a plate that goes into the window, got it in and it popped out, don't think it's well made, so resorted to Gorilla tape and hope it holds through the heat.  Used a different window this year so I can still open the main one when it's warm but not hot enough for A/C.  And Kodie can still see out the window from his recliner!  All things getting harder for a 70 year old disabled woman to do. 

[shawnt]

I also hate to vacuum . Years ago Sue bought an automatic vacuum. Our dog at the time was very protective of her and the next day when it started it's work the dog attacked it.When we came home the dog was proudly standing over the mangled parts, showing us what she defeated to keep us safe. Laughed and laughed.

My positive today, I didn't cry when I got up and it is a beautiful blue sky day.

[KayC]

Thank you for giving me my chuckle of the day, @shawnt.

[RichS]

In addition to getting some sight back in his right eye (cateract surgery), my 94 year old uncle got an overall good physical from his family doctor this morning. He had some Ensure when he got home. We buy that by the 6-pack. Funny thing is, 30 years ago it would have been a six pack of beer sitting in the refrigerator.:) Ain't life funny.........

[widower2]

4 hours ago, shawnt said:

I also hate to vacuum . Years ago Sue bought an automatic vacuum. Our dog at the time was very protective of her and the next day when it started it's work the dog attacked it.When we came home the dog was proudly standing over the mangled parts, showing us what she defeated to keep us safe. Laughed and laughed.

My positive today, I didn't cry when I got up and it is a beautiful blue sky day.

Had to laugh about the dog attacking the vacuum cleaner. My dog (like probably many dogs) hated mine and always barked at it until I was done and one time decided he'd had enough and tried to bite it. I guess the hard plastic didn't feel so good on his teeth and seeing it had no effect he didn't try it again.   

[foreverhis]

When we bought our house, one of the things the sellers had added during a 1990 renovation was a whole house vacuum system.  I had never heard of that.  Today, I can't even contemplate going back to a "regular" vacuum.  Plug the hose into a wall outlet (three in the house for coverage), put on whichever attachment, and go.  The house was built in 1965 and is...quirky in many ways, but the whole house vacuum has been amazing.  My bugbear has always been dusting.  I hate it, loathe it really, but I hate dust more.  The newer microfiber wands with the disposable ends have made it easier, but I still hate doing it.  Bless John's heart, he always took care of the "high" dusting so I never had to reach and then would just go at whatever was dustiest throughout the house.

My positive for today is that I just finished making sugar cookies with a friend to take to our invitation yoga class tomorrow.  Our instructor (and dear friend) was out of town for 2 weeks, so it's a welcome back goodie.  While baking, my friend mentioned that she had a great day Monday because a friend she hadn't seen in 20 years was visiting town.  As we were talking, she said,  "It was wonderful to see Betsy after so many years."  Whoa! That's not a really common name these day.  I asked, "Betsy?" and she told me her full name and that she'd known her from theater.  I walked over to a stack of pictures I'd been sorting through and asked, "You mean this Betsy (last name)?"  John and I had met her even before we moved down here.  We were visiting and met Betsy because she worked at the Chamber of Commerce and we'd gone in asking if there were any theater groups locally with shows going on.  We got to talking and then ended up going out to lunch with her.  We stayed in touch and then spent time with her (and her husband before their divorce) the first year or so after we moved.  But then she moved and we lost contact.  My friend also knew my mother, though she didn't know me then and she really only knew her by sight, because my mom worked with the local opera company as a costume assistant down here while my friend was assistant stage manager.  We only recently figured out that one, so having another was a real "what a small world" moment.  My friend and I have only known each other for 4-1/2 years, but we've lived 3 blocks apart for 20 years!  It's kind of nice to be reminded how we really are all connected.

[KayC]

My positive is that I went to the dermatologist and no skin cancers found. Yay!

[shawnt]

Hooray indeed.

My positive today is all of my son's put full days of work in . There mother would be so proud to see them turning into men.

[Sheilz]

My positive today is...... I went for a short walk.  But that was a big deal especially after the crappy beginning with my niece telling me to stop the "pity me bullshit".  My first short walk since I lost Brian.  Not saying I will continue it (it was hard) or that I had a good time (I did not), but I did it.  It's something I did almost every day prior.  

[widower2]

57 minutes ago, Sheilz said:

 my niece telling me to stop the "pity me bullshit".  

I'm speechless. Even if you don't get along, that's beyond inexcusable. I'd tell her parents about that and frankly if they didn't rip her a new one, I'd rip them a new one. Sorry if that causes any offense. I just have no patience for such idiocy, none.

I guess my positive there is I'm positive I'd rip someone a new one.  

[Shinka]

3 hours ago, Sheilz said:

My positive today is...... I went for a short walk.  But that was a big deal especially after the crappy beginning with my niece telling me to stop the "pity me bullshit".  My first short walk since I lost Brian.  Not saying I will continue it (it was hard) or that I had a good time (I did not), but I did it.  It's something I did almost every day prior.  

That's great, you can be proud of yourself. Please try to keep it up, it will be good for body and soul. I know it's hard. When I started going for walks I would go before sunrise so no one would see me crying, which I did pretty much the whole way. But it lessened and it gave me a feeling of peace eventually. 

[Sheilz]

10 hours ago, widower2 said:

I'd tell her parents about that

She's 47 years old & should know better.  She is my only relative around here.  My step daughter (who has been wonderful) lives 1500 miles away.  

She actually hung up on me when I started crying over that remark.  She said she's done with this ****.  I so ashamed of my reaction to it.  I called her back begging for her not to walk away from me right now.  Pleading for forgiveness for stressing her out.  I was a crazy person on my messages.... begging & pleading & promising to do better.  I'm ashamed at my reaction.  I'm just so sad today.  I want Brian to wrap his arms around me & tell me it's ok.  

I don't have a positive today yet but I will try to think of something by the end of the day.

[widower2]

Again I'm speechless. Probably best not to say more than that other than I would grant her request and never talk to her again (why would you? For more abuse?) and focus on your step-daughter. Also I'd consider seeing a grief therapist to unload; that helped me a lot when I didn't have someone to talk to. 

[Gator M]

36 minutes ago, Sheilz said:

She's 47 years old & should know better.  She is my only relative around here.  My step daughter (who has been wonderful) lives 1500 miles away.  

She actually hung up on me when I started crying over that remark.  She said she's done with this ****.  I so ashamed of my reaction to it.  I called her back begging for her not to walk away from me right now.  Pleading for forgiveness for stressing her out.  I was a crazy person on my messages.... begging & pleading & promising to do better.  I'm ashamed at my reaction.  I'm just so sad today.  I want Brian to wrap his arms around me & tell me it's ok.  

I don't have a positive today yet but I will try to think of something by the end of the day.

You have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.

And this was your soul mate...Where is her compassion?

Grief is especially hard when your love is deep.  How can people not see this?

Your entire life has been upended.

Here is a positive...you found us.   You're loved.  And your life is helping all of us.  You can't see it or feel it but it is.

You pay it forward when the time is right.  You bless others and you'll be blessed.

Until then...we are here.

Prayers

[DWS]

My positive is the mouse lurking in my compost bin seems to have disappeared...fingers crossed. It'd been there a few times over the past couple of weeks and scared the living daylights out of me when I nonchalantly opened the bin lid to throw in veggie scraps and coffee grounds. I'm now in the habit of knocking on the lid before opening. I'm also pretty sure if my partner Tom was around, he would have been there with camera in hand just waiting to catch those moments of surprise! 

[RichS]

I ran into an old softball teammate at the supermarket this morning. Haven't seen him in over 10 years. We did a little catching up on our lives.

[KayC]

5 hours ago, Sheilz said:

I want Brian to wrap his arms around me & tell me it's ok.

It IS okay. It's okay for you to have all kinnds of feelings about it, you're vulnerable, you need someone to wrap their arms around you and love you.  Consider yourself hugged.

[shawnt]

Tough day today. I have agreed to participate in grief group tomorrow, I'm going to count that as my positive .

[Gator M]

9 minutes ago, shawnt said:

Tough day today. I have agreed to participate in grief group tomorrow, I'm going to count that as my positive .

I went to mine tonight...geez it was a tough one.  There were some tragic stories 😢.

Greif sux and there is WAY too much of it.

I long for the days free of pain, sorrows, and hardship...nothing but peace, love and joy.

Hint: It ain't here.

[shawnt]

Grief group today, maybe a few tools. Have to think about it and decide if I will go next week.

[Gator M]

43 minutes ago, shawnt said:

Grief group today, maybe a few tools. Have to think about it and decide if I will go next week.

Give it time.  

For me it's the fellowship with others who UNDERSTAND.

[Sheilz]

Two positives today... I swept the floor & had a TV dinner.  Today sux.  3 week anniversary and could see him everywhere.  Cried a real lot.  But still swept the floor & had a TV dinner.  Is that progress????

[Gator M]

21 minutes ago, Sheilz said:

Two positives today... I swept the floor & had a TV dinner.  Today sux.  3 week anniversary and could see him everywhere.  Cried a real lot.  But still swept the floor & had a TV dinner.  Is that progress????

YES

 

 

[widower2]

1 hour ago, Sheilz said:

Two positives today... I swept the floor & had a TV dinner.  Today sux.  3 week anniversary and could see him everywhere.  Cried a real lot.  But still swept the floor & had a TV dinner.  Is that progress????

1. You survived another day
2. You also got something done

esp at your early stages, heck yes.

[KayC]

12 hours ago, shawnt said:

Grief group today, maybe a few tools. Have to think about it and decide if I will go next week.

I would encourage you to give it a few tries before deciding, it may be too soon for you? It helps you to know others going through it, someone to go out to lunch with on occasion...also, if the group leader is any good, helps for your journey. Hopefully you get a CHANCE to talk but NOT COMPELLED to.

10 hours ago, Sheilz said:

But still swept the floor & had a TV dinner.  Is that progress????

It's functioning. And that's about the best we can hope for this early.  Count every accomplishment even if it has to be done over again.  (((hugs)))

[shawnt]

My positive today is a good friend has tricked me . I have been unable to commit to any plans, none. He knew this and instead of an invite he told me he needed my help, which he knows I would never refuse.

It is a great positive that a friend cares enough 

[KayC]

Yesterday's positive is we made it through it. Went to a new vet in Eugene (LONG drive), they were really nice.  Miss the homey feel of our former place (that is moving way too far away) but this one the vet and assistant got on the floor with Kodie, he even spun, spun, spun for them!  He told me what was going on with his eye, said he needs surgery (no ins.) and they had a cancellation that day so left him there, also had him neutered while he was under and shots, nails trimmed. Have to order his meds online.  His recovery from the eye surgery is two weeks, has to wear a cone, can't see Jazzy.  Iris' surgery the day we have to come back to the vet so can't let Jazzy out for her. Will really miss her.

I will be home spoon feeding Kodie food/water, he is not very adept at managing the cone but managed to get it off when I was sleeping.  His eye is swollen but bandages still on.  He didn't pee last night, he was really out of it. But then he didn't eat/drink much yesterday.  Took all day with recovery and the drive.

Canceled my doctor's appt for today and the follow up, rescheduled for later this month.

[RichS]

For what it's worth, last night I was score keeping a girls fast pitch softball game. For the first time since I remember, there were NO COMPLAINTS from the coaches or the parents, no disputed calls (maybe they gave out free valium before the game). The game even ended 15 minutes early. Both umpires admitted that this was any easy game. A parent even passed by after the game and said, "Thanks for all that you do." Almost felt like I entered heaven without anyone letting me know.

Kay----glad to hear that everything went well for your dog. You also reminded me that Salem's trip to the vet is overdue. I hate to put him in that pet carrier.

[DMB]

It's Friday and I am off Monday!

[KayC]

6 hours ago, RichS said:

Kay----glad to hear that everything went well for your dog.

This is way harder than I would have imagined. He hadn't peed since yesterday morning except a trickle this morning. He's not catching onto the dreaded cone and keeps running into things.  He seems delirious. Hoping tomorrow goes better.  It's been a long time since I've had surgery on a pet and with him getting two, that's tough.  Woke up after 3 hours and he had his cone off., sent a picture to his vet and he said he was a little concerned about the weepiness.  Of course that made this mom worried, but his eyes usually weep but I do see some from the surgical wound. Heading into the weekend, hope all goes well. I've had to spoon feed him water and homemade soup, also gave him some pancake/egg mixture (healthy pancakes, no carbs).  Took him to the mailbox with me, he keeps crashing his head down, hoping he's more clear headed tomorrow.

[Sheilz]

3 hours ago, KayC said:

Of course that made this mom worried

Of course it did.  You're a good mommy.  Hoping for a better night for the both of you.

[foreverhis]

@KayC  I'm sending prayers and loving thoughts for both Kodie and you.💗