Realization

[John9]

Hello all,

Thank you very much for your thoughts. Right now it is a waiting game, not that there is any fun in this existence. I had a CT scan today and I am waiting for someone to come and discuss what they found and still waiting for the results of the biopsy. But this is the times when I really really miss my loving wife, she would be here with me for the support I need. I will try to keep you posted. Take care John 

[annie123]

John, Best wishes for a speedy recovery.

[KayC]

Thank you, John, we wait with you.

[Gail 8588]

John, 

The good news is they have identified the problem (the tumor) and now they will move forward to fix it.  Praying that it is benign, but as Kay related even if it is cancer, it can be treated.  

I am so sorry you don't have your loving wife by your side physically.  It is not fair, especially since you devoted so much of your time and energy caring for others during their time of need.  I know that wherever she is she is loving you and wishing she could comfort you. 

We all care about you and wish you a quick recovery. 

Gail

 

[KayC]

Thinking of you, John, praying for you...I don't want you going through this alone.  We want to be here for you.

[John9]

Hello all of my friends here. The biopsy came back today and it is Cancer, tomorrow the Doctor is going to place a mediport since I am still in the hospital. He said while I am under he will also look to see what he can see as far as damage to my stomach and such. There is a very stupid Insurance rule that won’t allow me to have a PET scan while I am in the hospital, it must be done as an outpatient. So after I leave the hospital, I have to contact the Doctors office to have them schedule my appointment. I don’t know exactly how much chemotherapy and radiation I will need, because they still aren’t 100% sure whether it has spread to other areas. Thanks again for the support and I will keep you posted as I am updated. Take care John 

[Gail 8588]

John, 

Sorry for the cancer diagnosis.  Again this is when we miss our sweethearts the most, when we need their encouragement and simple presence.  

I wish she was by your side through this. 

We are all pulling for you, wishing you strength through the treatments and healing.

Gail

[KayC]

Oh John, I am so sorry for all you are going through and shame on the ins. for that idiotic rule!  They should be ashamed, wait until they or their loved one goes through this!
Praying you can feel your wife's presence carrying you through even this.  Sending you gentle hugs!

[Sparky1]

I've had my share of battling the insurance company, they always make excuses when they have to dish out huge amounts of money. 

I just want you to know that we're here thinking of you, and I pray that your treatment helps you to conquer the cancer. It's that much tougher going through it alone, at times like this is when our partner would have made it a whole lot easier to handle. God bless.

[John9]

Hello all,

The Surgeon put in the port today, there was a delay due to many surgeries scheduled for today. All seems to have gone smoothly but I am still in the Hospital, the Surgeon just checked on me and said he will release me and I should be able to leave tomorrow. I am okay with that because I really don’t want to leave and end up back in here. It will be hard enough dealing with the treatments and the outpatient PET scan, so I will just have to tolerate one more night. Sadly I don’t sleep very well here, but I also don’t when I’m at the house either. I will try to keep everyone updated. Take care John 

[KayC]

John, glad you got the port surgery done and get to come home today...I took my friend Iris in for hers, it seems a lifetime ago but it's been maybe a year or so.  You will need family to check on you, a neighbor, someone, when you get into this.  Iris had all kinds of support and help...I would be alone, I know.  

[John9]

One of the Doctors came in this morning and said that there are other Doctors who need to clear me. So now it is not for sure that I will be able to go to the house today. But I will keep you posted. Take care John 

[John9]

I did get to leave the hospital. Now I have to try and figure everything out, I’m not sure whether the Doctors will wait until the PET scan comes back to start the radiation and chemotherapy. But I’m not in the hospital right now. Take care John 

[foreverhis]

John, I'm so glad you got to go home.  Of course nothing is the same now, but at least you're out of the hospital.  I'll be keeping you in my thoughts today and every day.

[Gail 8588]

John, 

Hoping you get a good night's sleep tonight.  It's impossible to get any rest in a hospital. It always feels better to be home.

Gail

[KayC]

I'm so glad you got to come home in your own surroundings...let the peace of God fill and surround you, and carry you through even this.

[John9]

Hello,

I did sleep some last night, maybe better than in the Hospital because of the issues I had with the noises and lights. But the area around the port is sore and that caused it's own issues. I hope these  treatments can start soon, because that is just another of the many things going through my broken brain. But I am waiting for the Surgeon to schedule the PET scan, because I think they need those results to determine my treatment plan. Take care, John

[KayC]

John, I hope you put your health before handling the estate or anything, make it priority.  I wish I lived close but alas if I did I'd likely be shoveling even more snow than I already am!  Take care of yourself.

[John9]

17 hours ago, KayC said:

John, I hope you put your health before handling the estate or anything, make it priority.  I wish I lived close but alas if I did I'd likely be shoveling even more snow than I already am!  Take care of yourself.

KayC,

I have no intent at this time, to do anything in regards to any Estate paperwork. I have filed what I did and IF they don't like it they can come and put me in jail. I am so done with all of this stuff in that regards. But alas my health is still, "hurry up and wait". I called the Oncologists office and I have an appointment a week from Wednesday and also called my "new" Primary Doctor and have an appointment with her a week from Thursday. Waiting to hear about the PET scan and when it can and will be scheduled. But I do have Insurance paperwork that I need to receive and submit. My loving wife and I have had Aflac for years and I still kept the Cancer policy after she died. Hopefully after all of these years of paying premiums they will pay some of the bills. Take care, John

[KayC]

OMG, John, that is terrific!  How man people take out a cancer policy!  I don't know of another.  So glad you have it!  Please let us know when you know something!  

I shoveled snow for 16 hours, just taking breaks so I don't have a stroke, got 12 1/2" of snow, at least half of it was wet snow (the worst!  Heavy) the rest powdery.  Made one last pass last night.  I slept 7 1/2 hours straight, not even waking to pee, unheard of!  Today I am exhausted and hurting.  Had to use Voltaren on my wrists last night.  17 during night, had to turn heater on out in the pipes/water tank/freezer room.  I remind myself cheaper/better than having to call a plumber!  

Today will be a rest up day.  Kodie and Jazzy had a ball in the snow, took him there am and pm, it was so cold, only stayed 1/2 hour each time.  Missing Mike. Iris doesn't invite me in or visit with me.

[John9]

KayC,

I dread the chance of having any measurable snow now, because I can't  really shovel it like I did. The Surgeon placed a port in my left shoulder under the collarbone, and it hurts to move my arm too much. I have a PET scan scheduled for March 3rd, I am not sure whether the Oncologist will wait for the results before deciding when to start the radiation/ chemo. I called about the Cancer Insurance and it is more waiting because I can't do anything without specific medical billing listing the codes and what was done. But as I said hopefully it will cover some of the expense for what the medical Insurance doesn't cover. I am sorry that you had to shovel, but it is nice Kodie had some fun with his friend. Take care, John

[KayC]

Correction, I shoveled 16 hours, not 12, I was so exhausted I could hardly think yesterday or the day before! Another night I slept all the way through w/o waking.  Was too tired to vegetate to the t.v. yesterday eve.  Watched maybe 1/2 hour before turning out the light.

There may be some program to help you with paying for the cancer, you can ask them at the cancer center.  They even gave Iris gas cards and I know she didn't pass them on to her driver as she used some when we had to go a couple of times.  They even supplied her wig.  

Getting more snow in next week, I knew I wouldn't be able to go with the ladies at my church Tuesday!  I know better than to schedule things for February!  I only hope and pray I can make it to my grandson's birthday in March, but I also know not to count on it...last year I had a ton of snow through mid-May on Mother's Day!

I hope and pray you don't have shoveling to do, wondering if there's some Mormon missionaries willing to do it if you need it done?  Here they do labor for people needing it, and you'd definitely qualify!  Might contact their church and ask them.  

[Gail 8588]

@John9

John, 

Just thinking of you. Wishing the best for you.

Gail

[foreverhis]

On 2/16/2023 at 4:11 AM, KayC said:

There may be some program to help you with paying for the cancer, you can ask them at the cancer center.  They even gave Iris gas cards and I know she didn't pass them on to her driver as she used some when we had to go a couple of times.  They even supplied her wig.  

Just to add on.  The cancer  resoucre center attached to our local hospitals and oncology center was really helpful.

We didn't qualify for any government help because we had a stable, if modest, income and "assets" (house, cars, small retirement account).  But the cancer center didn't care about any of that.  We were given several hundred dollars in gas cards, which made a huge difference.  When John was in the hospital or rehab, I was driving round trip 30-40 miles at least once and sometimes twice a day.  When John was home, there were chemo appointments, blood tests, follow up, other infusions to keep his blood count up, etc.

We also received a reimbursement of nearly $1000 (over the two fiscal years of his cancer journey) for medications that weren't covered by Medicare/supplement or Part D (or that had a significant co-pay).

I know they had a "shop" for cancer patients with wigs, scarves, and things like that.  There was a small "salon" for both men and women to come and feel special without being made to feel "different."  There were patient and caregivers support group meetings and an entire library of resource materials.

@John9  Please do ask the cancer center, oncology offices, and even the hospital for every bit of help they can give.  The small financial help was wonderful, but honestly those costs wouldn't have broken the bank.  It was simply knowing that someone cared enough to be there to help a bit that made the biggest difference for me.

[John9]

Hello all,

Thanks for the input. It has been a week from hell. I had an appointment Wednesday with the Oncologist, which was not too bad except the weather started turning bad just when I got back to the House. The power went out at 2:30 and came back on at 7, then it went out at 9pm due to the fact that there was an ice storm. The Power line in front of my house let loose from one pole and was arcing 3-4 times and burned my yard, just missing my Sons car and his friends car too. The the power line burned loose from the other pole and took my service drop along with it. Sadly before the storm was over 500000 people were without power. I notified everyone I could but they were overwhelmed. It was Thursday around 4pm before anyone came to see what the problem was. I explained to the person exactly what happened. A crew came somewhat quickly after he left and they were confused because the thought all they were doing was reusing the same line, but it was burned and frayed. Another crew came later and they had the wire needed and I was watching them do the work and I was confused. The raised my service line and then lowered it and then the ran the power line replacement and they decided not to reattach my service drop. Then they left because they said that the electric company wasn't going to energize the line. I went to bed early and my Son was outside smoking at 10:30 and he said the line was arching again which means that they did. But it didn't work and they had to shut it down. This morning my alarms were going off telling me that the generator I had to buy yesterday to keep my sump pump running was out of fuel. I got up at 6am after another crappy night of sleep and went outside and started it up again. That was when I found out about the arcing the night before. I texted my neighbor when I saw he was up and mentioned what my Son said and he said that the power was on for 3 whole minutes.

Thursday I finally had my appointment with my new(old) Doctor and her office didn't have power either. She did examine me old school. She was very mad when she found out I was in the Hospital and nobody had notified her. She wants to make some changes to my care, she was upset that there was no feeding tube put in, because she said I need the extra help. She also said I looked pale and wanted blood drawn because I am bleeding in my esophagus and losing iron. I mentioned to her that I am having pain and I haven't even started treatment yet and I can't get many pills. I had mentioned to the Oncologist too and I went to pick them up and there were only 7 pills. She said exactly what the Oncologist said that a cancer patient is not the same as someone with back pain. I had an appointment today to see the Radiation Oncologist and he looked at my chart and said that there was an issue caused  by either the Insurance or the Pharmacy in regards to the quantity because the other Doctor wrote the prescription for 30 pills and the pharmacy owes me the rest, but they made no mention of that. He printed a copy of the prescription for me. He set up an appointment for me to come back next Friday at 7am for a CT scan and a mapping. I also have to get my PET scan on the same day at 12:30 and they are 40 miles apart. I forgot to ask whether the dye from the CT scan would interfere with the PET scan. Luckily after many difficult phone calls they said no.

I say difficult because I had no home phone, no internet , no cable and my cell service was poor at best. I have been cut off from the real world since Wednesday night. The crew came back and finally reattached my service drop and they left. I was on my way to the pharmacy to find out about my pills and I noticed the power was on at the corner. I came back and there was power, but too many things weren't working. My oven doesn't work but the stove top does, the control panel isn't lighting up. The fridge wasn't working, but it did start later, but sadly I lost most of the food. My washing machine isn't working either. Some of my plugs don't work and some of my light too. The dedicated plug for my sump pump quit too and I had to bypass it to another plug and hopefully it will hold. But the biggest issue I had was the furnace didn't work when the power came on, luckily I called and someone was here in about 30 minutes. Something was causing the circuit breaker to trip and he finally figured it out. BUT originally he was told the part needed was not available and needed to be ordered. I was upset, but nice and played the cancer card and they found a circuit board 50 miles away in Ohio and he drove there to get it, it took him 2 hours and when he got back, IT WORKED. When he fired it up and the thermostat communicated, the house temperature was 44 degrees. I has almost reached the proper setting. I asked him if I could buy him dinner and he said it was up to me. I gave him $50 because I know he was paid by the Company while he was picking up the part.

I am sorry for the novel, but that was only part of my week and I haven't been able to post, I just got my internet and cable back. Hopefully I can relax a little and figure out the issues I am having with the things that aren't working and hopefully they won't cost me a fortune to diagnose and fix.  Take care, John

[foreverhis]

Oh John, I hardly know what to say.  I so wish we were near enough to truly help.  I wish that often when one of our precious members is struggling extra hard.  All I can do is say I'll keep you in my heart and prayers.  We're with you in spirit, if not in person.

[John9]

foreverhis,

I do thank you for the comments as well as the ones from everyone else. This is just another week where I wonder how or why I am still here. It just makes me miss my loving wife SO MUCH. Not that I don't always miss her, but I sure could use her support AND love right now. Take care, John

[KayC]

@John9OMG, you were on my mind yesterday and I was out of town getting groceries (took Kodie for the 100 miles trip) as we have just had a snow storm and another one coming in tonight, I could be stuck here for a month or so.  

Wow on your day/s!  I am so glad you have (all) your power back!  I'm wondering if it fried your panel!  

I'm sorry the medical team dropped the ball on you, what a pain!  Literally.  Makes you wish for calmer days.

I know when my friend Iris got her cancer treatment, she got lots of helps from the cancer center, gas card, wig, help with 
Rxs, etc.  I remember one drug that was $1,400 she got for $10 or something, it was amazing.  So do ask!  

We surround you with our love and prayers, John.

[John9]

On 2/25/2023 at 6:51 AM, KayC said:

Wow on your day/s!  I am so glad you have (all) your power back!  I'm wondering if it fried your panel!  

I'm sorry the medical team dropped the ball on you, what a pain!  Literally.  Makes you wish for calmer days

KayC,

All I can say is something happened somewhere. I think there was a major power surge when the power line arced and caused my service drop to burn through, because if that hadn't happened I would have still had power. I receive my power from the pole that the power line dropped from last and everyone on that side still had power until 9 am Thursday morning. Sadly the electric company doesn't accept responsibility because........ I called about my washing machine because I had a service contract on it and they don't cover power issues either. About the only coverage I might have is with my homeowners policy for lost food and even that has a $250 deductible with a $750 limit, so IF they cover me the most I would get would be $500 and I lost both the contents of the fridge and the freezer, which was way more than $750. I need to make some updates on my policy IF possible to make sure I am covered in the future. But I am not even sure if they sell the coverage I need, I just know I can't afford to keep replacing food AND appliances. Sadly almost all of the new appliances have circuitry that is susceptible to power variations that can cause issues. I am going to see if the electrician can install a whole house surge protector to maybe lessen the chance of this happening again. There is another chance of an ice storm tomorrow and there are still over 200000 without power. Take care. John

[KayC]

Wow, doesn't seem right the elec. company can just absolve themselves of responsibility.  How convenient for them!  It's a drop in the bucket to them!  It's more to you.  I am so sorry.

We're in a snowstorm, I shoveled 8 1/2" yesterday, it's a lot...100 ft to firewood, 50 ft up driveway, did car and around it, mailbox area and to where the berm will be (plows didn't show, will have their berm to do when they do come), porch steps (three on each side), path to room where pipes/tank/freezer are, path to garbage can.  I shoveled all day with these severely injured painful hands.  Last night my hands and back were so done!  But more today and way more tomorrow!  As far as they can predict.  It looks like this is my life.

Isn't it weird, John, how we can be going along and something hits and it requires we lay aside everything to deal with it?!  And we didn't think life was rosy to start with!  My heart goes out to you with all you are dealing with!

[Sparky1]

Kay, my heart breaks for you. I wish I lived closer so I can help you with all these things that come up. 

[John9]

KayC,

I am sorry that you are having to do all of that by yourself. I spoke to my Insurance agent and she said I could file a claim for the food, but then I might have a rate increase and definitely will IF there is a claim within the next 3 years. I decided it isn't worth the risk/reward. I will slowly replace the food and try to prevent it from happening again. I know now why people always complain about Insurance companies, not that I really didn't already know why.  There is a company coming to price a whole house generator and if nothing else maybe I will have peace of mind. I do hate that my existence now is all "worry" in some form or another. Every time I resolve one issue it is replaced with many more. Rest when you can and hope for an early spring. I know you have an upcoming Doctor appointment, but I don't remember when, hopefully all goes well and the weather cooperates. Take care, John

[KayC]

John, I'm so sorry your insurance is pulling the "raising rates" card over a mere $500!  They're all shysters imo.  You have to pay them but by gosh they don't want to pay out!

I don't have doctor's appts. until May 1 and will get a ride if necessary.  By then 2 1/2 years with throat/tongue condition, no answers, just ruled out a lot. The gastroenterologist told me it did not look like cancer, huge relief, but still not sure.  Use to have snow end in March, ha! But it used to start end of Oct, that was years ago too, now Nov. or Dec.

Thank you both of you.  Got way more snow than predicted yesterday but thankfully not later in the day. However we got a lot more last night....to top it off I fell yesterday, twice.  Not injured but sore.  Kodie looked very concerned, gave me a kiss when I was laying there trying to assess myself.  If dog's kisses could heal, all would be well, as it is, they go a long ways, that's for sure.

I bought a generlink and generator, generlink I can't get to work, supposed to hook to electrical meter and power house, nope.  But I can save freezer/refrigerator with it at least.  Had a neighbor hook it to freezer during an evacuation when they shut the power off and never turned it on when they said they would. Lost refrig. contents but saved freezer's, thankfully. I drive 50 miles away to get groceries, could have stocked up on the way home had I known.

The guy was supposed to be out to do fire assessment (forestry sent threatening letter during Waldo fire last year) today but canceled because of snow. Ha! I wanted to laugh, what did they expect in February?! I wrote and gave him my weatherman's site for my lat./long. coordinates, it shows snow as far as they predict, no breaks. I told him last year it lasted through Mothers Day, May 15.  He can pick a date and let me know. I don't want to keep rescheduling though, I have a life, even if not great.

 

 

 

[John9]

4 hours ago, KayC said:

I don't want to keep rescheduling though, I have a life, even if not great.

KayC,

I get that comment. It seems my existence now is waiting and waiting. One of the things that is bad now, I have to basically answer any call that comes through, because of all of the Doctors and Hospital and Specialists. Sadly some get blocked and I don't know it and have to scramble too contact them. It was really hard last week when I had no power, no phone and no internet. I was playing phone tag with one of the Nurses and I had to apologize to her that my phone blocked her. But in my defense most callers don't seem to want to identify themselves, just use the phone number. Professionals should use their name in the caller ID when calling, not perfect but it might help. I am sorry that you fell, but glad you weren't hurt. Someone from my loving wife's work gave her a magnet that says "Kitty kisses fix everything", so I understand what you mean about kisses from Kodie. I do hope that the gastroenterologist is correct about it not being cancer, mine was pretty certain that mine was cancer and he was sadly correct. I am sorry that the person who should understand the area and the weather doesn't have any basic common sense to expect snow in the winter in your area. But sadly they really don't seem to care about how much trouble it will be for you to have to reschedule, often repeatedly. Take care, John

[KayC]

2 minutes ago, John9 said:

Professionals should use their name in the caller ID when calling

Oh I so agree! I let the unknown callers go to voice messaging, once in a while I'll hear one leave a message and yet the caller id is some unknown name! I scramble to pick up the phone, sometimes too late. You can't get through to anyone, waiting for someone to call you back. Sure enough they will, the next day when I'm walking my dog. Why are medical professionals so unattainable now? When I worked for a doctor's office we answered the phone! Shows how old I am. To me, the world has gone downhill more and more in the last few years.

I help manage a diabetic group through FB platform. We say good morning to each other. I posted this and their AI suspended me from posting!  What the heck! And why does it take hours for a real person to actually view it when you dispute it?

[John9]

KayC,

My cell phone blocked a phone call today, because it was only a phone number. It was from the dietician who works with the the Radiation Oncologist, he was concerned about my weight loss. Luckily she left a message and I called her back. I did mention to her about why my phone blocks calls but I am sure nothing will be done about it. I told her my weight loss wasn't intentional it was just because I can't eat properly due to the tumor in my esophagus. I told her I am surviving on Ensure complete and that the Doctors are supposed to be discussing a feeding tube, but she didn't know about that. I told her I am just waiting for some answers and to have the CT scan and the PET scan and then get the results from them. More or the waiting and then everyone will want it all done when it fits their schedule, not mine. Like scheduling 2 tests on the same day many miles apart and luckily hours apart, so I can get there. I "think" you were flagged because their algorithm saw it as the "poop" emoji(?) but what do I know.🤔

[KayC]

Hmm, then how come they never see it as poop any other time?  Does not look like poop to me, looks like a giraffe.

Personally I think FB is nuts and I wish we had a different platform, but with over 7,000 members it's not likely.

15 hours ago, John9 said:

My cell phone blocked a phone call today, because it was only a phone number. It was from the dietician who works with the the Radiation Oncologist

And it continues. I'm sure it's hard to explain all this (again).  I wonder there's no chart notes they can read before they call?  Or does anyone actually ever do that anymore?  Gosh, we always did when I worked for a doctor!  Aww, but that was years ago.  The world has changed and not for the better, IMO.

Yesterday my favorite cousin, Dawn, passed away.  She'd just turned 60.  I was stunned.  She rehomed her dog two months ago because she could no longer take care of her or walk her.  I never knew.  She never complained.  She was educated and raised other people's kids who were unfit.  I wonder if she ever got any thanks.  I love her.  Did I ever tell her?  I always looked up to her and admired her, I thought her invincible. 

John, I'm sorry you're stuck only having ensure and that not enough, I hope they do the feeding tube soon.  Can they do it in home?

I made 5 passes shoveling yesterday, each pass takes 1 1/3 hours.  I was so exhausted last night I slept clear through the night, nearly 8 hours, it took a while to get to sleep.  Both sisters hounding me to move but I'm physically unable to sort.pack/move, still have a house payment, can't afford two places at once and it'll be a few years before I can pay this place off.  Also there's Kodie, he needs his fenced yard (no dog park in town) and his play date is up here.  Although I would not be surprised if things don't change in that situation.  Damn.  Life changes...

[John9]

KayC,

As for what FB sees, all of the sites keep changing their rules and who knows what criteria they will add next time. I am sorry for your loss, it never stops does it. I know as we get older all of those around us do too, but 60 is young IF there are no real medical issues. Before my loving wife died at 53 we still considered ourselves young, even though I was 8 years older than her. I have aged many more than the 2 years it has been since she died. And now with the cancer, whenever this is all done for me, I will probably look so old my loving wife would never recognize me, when she comes for me. I do understand what you say about not being able to move, and really not wanting to either, the changes would be hard for both you and Kodie. I haven't asked lately, do you still see Panther. As for the Ensure complete, IF I can manage 2 a day it is most of what I need to survive. IF they finally decide on the feeding tube, it will be an outpatient surgery and I should be able to handle the feedings myself. The dietician said that they would educate me on how to clean and manage it. I am not looking forward to it, but if something isn't done, I won't make it through any treatments because it is already hard on me. But again, I think it all depends on the results of Fridays scans. And there is another storm system coming Friday and right now they aren't sure what it will be, maybe rain, maybe snow, maybe a mix. I just hope it doesn't mess up my scans due to power outages or making travel too difficult to get there. Of course it could make people not get to work to be able to perform the scan. What will be will be. Take care, John

[KayC]

21 hours ago, John9 said:

do you still see Panther.

Oh yes, he is definitely part of our family, even though outdoors only...he'd love to be indoors but honestly I can't see him scraping the walls as he does outside, nor getting any sleep with his being nocturnal.  But we spend a lot of time with him and I love when he follows me out to get firewood or put garbage out.  He looks for me to feed him at certain times too.  And last night (even though he hates snow) he came to the front yard by the fence to meet Kodie, snow and all, even without me calling him to!  I told Kodie how much Panther loves him!  

I hear you...my husband turned 51 just five days before he died, I had no idea before that weekend that he had a damaged heart.  He must have been so tired.

John, praying with you about Friday that storms won't interfere with their scans and that they can set up the feeding tubes asap.  *Will power outages affect your being able to use one?*  If so, I would let the electric company know so they do what they can to keep you in service.  Here we are low priority but if someone were affected like that I think they'd make more effort to get it hooked up and going again.

[John9]

Kay C,

Everything is all new to me, so I can't answer that question. I did have someone come today about a whole house generator, but I won't commit until I find out what is going on. It is a little on the expensive side, but I can't deal with what I just went through AND attempt to have treatments too. I did get a little good news, AFLAC came through and paid my initial claim, which will cover my copays, so far. They claim that they will pay for each radiation and chemotherapy session. But I haven't had any yet, so I am not sure. I am glad that Panther is glad to see you and enjoys your company and Kodie's too. As I have said all I can do is all I can do, and take it as it comes. Take care, John

[Gail 8588]

John and Kay, 

Thinking of you both during this bad weather and your health concerns.  Like you say John, we can only do what we can only do. 

I have been pretty down in the dumps lately.  Tomorrow is the anniversary of my husband's death. It is a time of year that is hard for me.  I have also been a bit sick. Nothing major just a head cold (probably started as allergies from extremely high pollen) but is shifting into bronchitis.  I can't stop coughing and I hear that little whistle when I breathe. I should go see my doctor tomorrow to get something for it. 

Additionally, my BIL's brain cancer is advancing rapidly and I so hate what is coming for him and his family.  He has been very kind and supportive of me after his brother's death.  There will be no one to do that for his widow.    

So it has been a tough week for me to do much of anything.  A bit of a pity party here.  But some days the best I can do is very little. 

Next week I hope I'll feel better (more likely to happen if I call my Dr in the morning.)  John's death date will be behind me, so that should be better.  I'll cook a dinner to take over to my BIL and try to be there for him and his wife. 

One foot in front of the other sometimes. 

Stay warm. I'm hoping your snow melts soon.

Gail

[KayC]

Gail, I'm so sorry you've been under the weather!  And your BIL...that is so hard.  I'm glad you'll be there for them even in little ways it helps and makes a difference. 

My heart goes out to you today, I know all too well how hard those deathaversaries can be.

[John9]

Hello all,

Went this morning for the CT scan/simulation so they could make a mold of my upper body for the radiation treatments, also put 3 tattooed dots on me for reference. Then I went for the PET scan, which was sort of hard, because I wasn't allowed to move for about 25 minutes, which was hard for me. And when I came outside, it was sleeting and has since turned to snow. Not sure when the results of the PET scan will be given to the Doctors, but the Surgeons office called and said that the results will determine what feeding tube he wants to put in. SO it is more waiting till I find out those results. Also not sure what the snow totals will be, we were supposed to be in the very low range, but now it seems we can expect a decent amount and it seems to be a wet heavy snow. I have no real intent at this moment of dealing with any of it, hopefully it will melt soon.

Gail, I fully understand the approaching date, my loving wife died on March 13 and it is also approaching and with all of the rest of what is going on, I really dread it. I am sorry that you are facing your BIL's worsening cancer too. What was hard, is now so much harder and I really hate this, but I am here until it is over for me. Take care, John

[KayC]

John, I'm glad you got through that and pray the snow isn't too much.  What do you put in a feeding tube? Is it something you can order and have delivered?  

[John9]

KayC,

I guess after the feeding tube is put in, a Nurse will give me instructions as to what I am supposed to do. But right now it is just more waiting. We only got about 3-4 inches of snow and the sun is out today and doing the magic of melting some of it. Our Son and his friend cleared most of the driveway and sidewalk, I did a small part just to move around some. Sadly about 100000 people lost power again because of the storm, some of them the same ones who just got their power back from the ice storm last week. Our power grid and infrastructure is so outdated, that sometimes I think when someone sneezes the power goes out. But I was lucky this time and didn't lose power. Not sure if I can handle another one like the last one. Take care, John

[Sparky1]

26 minutes ago, John9 said:

KayC,

I guess after the feeding tube is put in, a Nurse will give me instructions as to what I am supposed to do. But right now it is just more waiting. We only got about 3-4 inches of snow and the sun is out today and doing the magic of melting some of it. Our Son and his friend cleared most of the driveway and sidewalk, I did a small part just to move around some. Sadly about 100000 people lost power again because of the storm, some of them the same ones who just got their power back from the ice storm last week. Our power grid and infrastructure is so outdated, that sometimes I think when someone sneezes the power goes out. But I was lucky this time and didn't lose power. Not sure if I can handle another one like the last one. Take care, John

John, I hope everything goes well for you. We got walloped with snow last night, it has to be at least a foot and a half out there. The snowblower was struggling since it was so wet and heavy. I also did 3 other neighbours and now I'm beat. It's warm enough that it is melting already and they still have to come and clean the road. We're also supposed to get more snow next week, looks like spring won't be nice in a few weeks.

[foreverhis]

@Gail 8588 I am so sorry I didn’t pay close enough attention yesterday. I’m sending you love and hugs today that you made it through that most difficult of days just a little bit easier than the first year. Have you found, as I have, that the few days leading up to it are almost harder than the day itself? The feelings of dread and stress for me knowing the day is coming have so far been exhausting every year.

Regardless, you will be in my heart and prayers today as always.❤️

[foreverhis]

20 hours ago, John9 said:

Gail, I fully understand the approaching date, my loving wife died on March 13 and it is also approaching and with all of the rest of what is going on, I really dread it.

Oh John, I can’t imagine how much harder “the day” is going to be for you. I so wish we could actually be there to help you through all the painful things happening right now.

You also will be in my thoughts and heart as you journey into these new challenges.❤️

[KayC]

17 hours ago, John9 said:

We only got about 3-4 inches of snow and the sun is out today and doing the magic of melting some of it.

This is what I miss, this last month of snow it isn't getting above freezing, so it settles but doesn't melt or warm up at all.  VERY heavy to shovel at this point.  That's why I try to keep up with it.  I couldn't get my car into my driveway if I wanted to!

I'm glad they'll show you what to do and not leave you on your own to figure it out.

17 hours ago, John9 said:

Not sure if I can handle another one like the last one.

I'm sorry more people lost their power but glad you weren't one of them!  You went through quite enough last time.

17 hours ago, Sparky1 said:

We got walloped with snow last night, it has to be at least a foot and a half out there.

Sounds like way too much, and you trying to take care of it for others as well, bless you.  I hope you slept good last night!

 

[Sparky1]

3 hours ago, KayC said:

Sounds like way too much, and you trying to take care of it for others as well, bless you.  I hope you slept good last night!

It's been a while since we got hit with this much snow. We got another dusting overnight to boot. Even though I have my own physical ailments, I just don't have the heart to not help out my neighbours. Yes, I did sleep pretty well, considering all the things going through my head. Thank you Kay.