Realization

[Gail 8588]

@foreverhis

Thinking of you Annie as you brace for another round of flooding.  I don't recall hearing about these destructive "atmospheric rivers" in the past, but maybe they just were not reported as widely.  I saw Big Sur residents are asked to have 2 weeks of supplies on hand.  I assume that is anticipating road closures from flooding and mudslides.

My prayers are for everyone in it's path to be safe.  

Gail

[foreverhis]

Thank you, Gail.  We thought we were finished with the big storms for the year.  We usually are by now.

We have had the rivers in the past, but usually only once or twice a season and generally during El Nino years, which this wasn't supposed to be.  When they come from the south/tropics, they're called The Pineapple Express.  From the north, they are just freaking cold!

The ground water level is so high now that I'm sure we'll have flooding again.  The weirdest weather was all the low level snow just a couple of weeks ago.  Snow levels below 1000 ft for several storm days.  We occasionally have a little snow in the elevations, but not the kind that sticks and drifts and blankets the hills for so many days.  It's very unusual for us to have both freezing temperatures and precipitation at the same time.  We do have freezes even here on the coast near the ocean every year, but not when it's raining, and I can't recall a time since we moved down more than 20 years ago when we've had freezing temperatures at our house this late in the year.  We had a freeze last night!

It's going to be high 40s and low 50s with this storm series, which starts tomorrow afternoon.  Great, just great, that my Acura started having serious problems driving home from grocery shopping today!  John's car is a 1981 Rabbit convertible.  The shop could never get the replacement top perfect, so it leaks a little.  I'm praying I don't need to go back out for any reason for the next 4 days.  After a short break, we've got more rain on the horizon, but forecast to be just "regular" showers over several days.  Not that we need it!

I'm also worried about the snow melt this summer.  We're already oversaturated and the snow levels are crazy high.  Darn it all!  If it's not one extreme, it's the other.  Still, no matter what happens, our community and all the local communities will band together to get through it. 

To be honest, when John suggested the move, I wasn't sure how I'd handle true "small town" life.  But we love the area and had been visiting, mostly camping, our entire marriage.  We had the opportunity and took it.  Now, I love it here.  It's true that we don't have the same, ample access to theater, the arts, museums, etc. or great hospitals (though our local hospital just got a big upgrade and we get referrals to Stanford or UCLA sometimes; John did) or lots of shopping options.  What we do have is a real sense of community, even when we disagree with each other.  Some of the nastiness and lies and divisiveness has crept in a little, but nothing like some other places.  And in an emergency, nobody gives a darn who you voted for or what your beliefs are or anything else.

We may lose power.  If we do, I'll check to let everyone know.  In the meantime, Cosi and I will be tucked up safe and warm together.

[Gail 8588]

Glad you got your supplies from the grocery. 

I know what you mean about communities pulling together during emergencies. It is that way here in Florida with Hurricanes.  Everyone just helps everyone. It is soul healing to live through.  It gives me hope for our (US) future.  Underneath all the rhetoric Americans across the board are very generous and kind. It just doesn't sound that way some of the time. 

I'll be thinking of you and Cosi and hoping you have power.

Gail

[KayC]

13 hours ago, foreverhis said:

And in an emergency, nobody gives a darn who you voted for or what your beliefs are or anything else.

I'm sorry you're experiencing the storms we've faced for so long, for me it's been about six weeks straight, but no rain, just snow, snow, snow, relentless.  Last night the plow came through..plow up!  What good does that do!  Shoveled again...need to again.  I'm glad your community pulls together, differences aside...

Oh no on your car!  Can you just park it until this calms down?  I haven't moved mine for weeks, although I started it up a couple of times.

I hope and pray with you that you do not lose power.  Here they prioritize us last, not being in the city (less voices to squawk) and take days turning us back on usually so I hope, being in a city, they'd get you back within a day.

No more room to put the water you're getting!  (Please God, let it soak into the ground...)  Praying for you and Cosi to stay safe and warm, and I'm glad you got groceries.  I have an 11 cf refrigerator (used to have 24), it's amazing how much you can get in there if you're organized.

[Gail 8588]

@John9

John, 

Just thinking of you tonight.  Hoping you are doing alright.  Sending you strength to deal with what has to be done. 

Hugs

Gail

[KayC]

True, I come here hoping to see a word from you.  I know you're busy with what's on your plate but we're all thinking of you, our hearts are with you.

[Gail 8588]

@foreverhis

Annie, 

Thinking of you as I am reading the news of road closures, evacuation orders, and power outages in coastal central California. 

Stay safe.  

Gail

[foreverhis]

Thank you, Gail and everyone who is sending good thoughts and prayers our way.

So far in our community, we've had 1.5 inches since last night, which is not as bad as the  forecast of 2-1/2-3 over that period.  But the big surge of storm is due to hit this afternoon with 2-3 inches predicted between now and Saturday afternoon.  Then another inch or so by Sunday morning.  We get a 2 day break and then the next storm of 1-2 inches is expected Tuesday and Wednesday.  Then a break of 3 days before a "light" 2 day rain the following week.

About 30-35 miles up the coast has been hit worse, as well as our south county (Pismo Beach and the surrounding small cities for a reference).  There are already evacuations in those communities.  We have some road closures, but so far we would be able to evacuate if necessary.

It's pretty windy, so that adds to the damage.  Still, I tell myself it's not a blizzard and, unlike poor Kay, I do not have to shovel foot after foot of snow.  I'm trying to count my blessings, even as I see the leaks that will need repair before next winter and which I can't do a thing about right now.

Cosi and I woke to a screaming flash flood emergency alert for our whole area on my cell phone this morning.  She was...less than pleased.  I calmed her and settled her next to me on the bed.  She finally went back to sleep for a bit.  Then it was up early for her morning kibble and my morning coffee.  (Not tempting fate--aka, breaking my Rule Number 1) So far we've had power.  It's probably because a friend and I ordered solar, inflatable LED Luci Lights that arrived yesterday.  Our friends all seem to have them for home emergencies and travel/camping.  They're pretty awesome and come in both cool and warm white, clear or frosted.  I ordered warm and frosted as the cool blue tones and glare of clear hurt my eyes.  I bought one basic and one "base camp" version that puts out the equivalent of a 40-50 watt standard bulb.  It also has a killer battery and a phone charging port.  They're in a windowsill charging now.  We shall see how they do.

Good thing I stocked up on groceries and supplies as the alert said to stay off the roads, period.  We'll be fine, I'm sure.  And I have my local friends right here so we can help each other if/as needed.

[Gail 8588]

Thanks for the update.  

Lots of road damage being shown on national TV and a few harrowing rescues by helicopter.  Prayers for all of California in this historic rain event over the next week +.

Glad you are still with power. 

Gail 

[John9]

Hello all,

 I went in for the feeding tube and the Surgeon was running late. He came and spoke to me before he did the surgery, and explained what I basically already knew. He was waiting for the results of the PET scan AND he gave me news that I was expecting but they had avoided saying. He told me that the cancer was inoperable, but honestly I don’t know what he said after that. I am not sure what the current treatment plan is. I am back in the Hospital because he recommended that for me and it was lucky that he did. I was in so much pain after the surgery that I was crying like a baby even after pain medication. They did give me some other medication that finally worked, but they put me on suicide watch because I answered a question honestly. The Nurse asked me whether I ever wanted to go to sleep and not wake up, I said yes and they took all of my belongings out of the room and had people watch me all night long. We got snow, but my blinds are closed and I have no idea what it looks like out there. The had me hooked up all night and all day to the feeding tube but the Surgeon has it paused right now. I will try to keep you updated as much as I can. Take care John 

[Gail 8588]

John, 

I am sorry you are going through this, but the hospital is probably the best place for you right now. 

I think your honest answer was quite reasonable.  Most of us here feel that way, not suicidal but okay with the concept that if our time here on earth is up, that's okay. 

I do hope they will manage your pain adequately.  

I hope the feeding tube will bolster your energy and help you to feel better. 

Hugs from afar.

Gail

 

[KayC]

John, I was not expecting that, so what are their plans if inoperable? Chemo and radiation?  I can certainly understand your feelings under all the circumstances, but wanting to sleep and not wake up is not indicative of suicidal to me, so I think they were a bit hasty.  Praying for you, my friend.  No need to know about the snow outside, you're safe where you are.

Annie, I'm glad you didn't get as much as predicted, I hate when it's the other way.  I don't understand all the preparations you made but glad you're set.  Me, I'd be sitting at home in the dark, waiting for it all to pass...

I just learned Iris is taking Jazzy on her trip to her family's, she'd previously told me Kelly would stay at her house and Kodie could continue to come for his play dates.  So 8 days without Jazzy will be hard but it's a sign of what's to come.  Changes in his future will not be good. Poor Kodie and Jazzy.

[foreverhis]

Good morning all. We’re in a break from the rain. The storm went through faster and shifted track a bit so we only had 1.75 inches, not the 3.5-4 forecast. It’s all relative because much of it came down over a 12 hour period and other local communities received more. There were many preemptive evacuations and a good deal of flooding.

We are due for showers off and on for the next 2 days. Then a short break and a fierce, but short, system on Tuesday of 2 inches. Then another break for several days before another regular storm of 1-2 inches over 3 days. Then…well, only God and Mother Nature know.

@John9 I’m with Gail in believing that your honest answer is not a sign of being suicidal, but rather just being tired of it all. I think those who haven’t been where we are do not understand the difference between “I don’t care” and “I’m going to try to end it all.”

The hospital is clearly best for you right now though because you desperately need the kind of care and pain relief they can give.

IMO, those curtains should be open and I will tell you why. John had multiple bouts of hospital-induced delirium. One main reason that occurs is because patients feel so confined that their brains stop seeing reality for a time. No one warns us about it; we had never even heard of it! The first time scared the crap out of me and I kept crying, “What’s wrong with him? What happened to him?” even as they banished me from his side for a day and a half.  It’s more common than most people know.

One of the primary ways to mitigate it is to have the outside world visible with natural light coming in. Also things like Ativan that are long-acting anti-anxiety medications. But obviously, I am not a doctor and can only give personal experience.

I will be thinking about you and sending every comforting thought today.

 

Not to pile on, though I know this will, but I got a call from the women’s health center yesterday that the radiologist wants me back in for ultrasound testing on my left breast because he saw something suspicious on one view on my screening mammogram.

I will be blunt (and guys, I will try to be not too graphic). I have larger breasts that are fibrous now. I read the report and because I have well developed pectoral muscles (thank you swimming, dance, and yoga), the radiologist can’t tell exactly what the luminosity is.

My whole upper left side  was affected when I tore my front bicep tendon 1-1/2 years ago, so I am hoping it is just the surrounding tendons and muscles having shifted slightly to compensate. I go in next week and will know more then.

I am not telling anyone in the family and friends circles because I don’t want them to worry if it turns out to be nothing or benign. Funny that I don’t mind worrying any of my friends here though, isn’t it? I guess that’s because we worry about each other all the time anyway. I could use some positive thoughts and prayers, that’s for sure.

 I realized last night that I wouldn’t have cared all that much 2 years ago. But I have Cosi now and she’s relying on me to be her human mama and her world for the next 10-15 years. Now I am praying for her sake that it’s nothing. And if it is, then I will fight it for her, even above the concerns of my family. They have each other, but her life revolves around me and the two of us together. I woke up this morning once again with her next to me holding my arm and begging for head rubs and chin scratches. Under her slightly crazy, smart, stubborn Bengal cat part is a soul of pure love. That’s definitely worth fighting for.

[movingon]

52 minutes ago, foreverhis said:

I could use some positive thoughts and prayers, that’s for sure.

Well, you will get all of those from all of us. Hoping next week brings good news for you, and am glad you and Cosi have each other...for many many years to come.

 

[April Ballou]

Praying for you @John9 and @foreverhis.  God bless each of you.  

[Alone. Again.]

John, I can't even begin to process how this must be for you. You are showing so much strength by continuing to engage with people on here and undergoing treatment. 

I am thinking of you and thinking of you all. You are all pillars of strength for me, every day. I haven't been posting for a while, but I am still reading and I know you're all present and all of your words and thoughts and feelings resonate no end. Thank you all.

[movingon]

1 hour ago, April Ballou said:

Praying for you @John9 

@John9oh my, I just got caught up on all the posts. I am so very sorry, I can't express in words how reading your post tore at my heart. I am sending you all my prayers 

[John9]

Hello all,

Today is 2 years by the day since my loving wife died, although technically Monday will be the date. The Nurse had come in to give me pain medication and I showed her that my left arm was swelling up. She called the Surgical staff because they were getting ready to discharge me. They decided to do an ultrasound on the arm and discovered that I have a DVT and that I needed to have Eliquis, because it costs more. I am now back at the house after picking up a partial prescription to get me through the new few days. All I know is that this is getting so old. I have to call the Oncologist to schedule an appointment because he is also a hematologist and he will have to tell me what the new treatment plan is for the cancer. There is a Nurse coming Monday to try to explain the feeding tube usage to me. It is just so overwhelming again. Take care, John

[movingon]

@John9I am glad you are back home and the nurse is coming on monday. Will you have a nurse coming every day to see you? I am praying the oncologist has a good treatment plan for you. Stay well @John9, I understand how overwhelming this must be.

[John9]

45 minutes ago, maud said:

Will you have a nurse coming every day to see you?

maud,

I don't think so, but I won't really know anything until I see her the first time. Thank you for the thoughts. Take care, John

[movingon]

Okay, well I hope these days pass peacefully for you and not too anxiously until you find out more information with the nurse and oncologist. Keep well @John9, please stay well.

[foreverhis]

3 hours ago, Sim7079 said:

@foreverhis hope it all goes well next week- keep us updated. I’ll  be thinking of you. Hope you’re not stressing too much, praying & hoping it will be ok for you.

@John9 I’m hoping that you’re not in too much pain & the medication is helping. Hope you are being looked after too - keep strong & thinking of you too.

Godbless both of you x

Thank you so much.  Thank you to everyone.

To be honest, I felt almost selfish talking about it.  I mean, John is going through so much more.  It's so much harder for him and in so many ways we feel helpless.  But then I remembered that prayers aren't "take a number, you only get one" and good, caring thoughts are limitless.

2 hours ago, John9 said:

Today is 2 years by the day since my loving wife died, although technically Monday will be the date.

Oh, John, so many things piled one on top of the other.  I'm so sorry and wish I could do more than simply send you those caring thoughts and prayers we all do.

[Gail 8588]

@foreverhis

Annie, 

I think your analysis of the mammogram uncertainty is spot on and that you have good reason to believe there will eventually be a determination that there is nothing here to be concerned about.  That being said, it's always hard not to worry. I hope sharing this fear will help lessen the load of you going it alone.  Lots love, support and prayers will be headed your way from me and many others here.

@John9

John,

I am so sorry for the DVT diagnosis.  So glad they found it (due to you pointing out the swelling) prior to your being discharged!  Eliquis is an excellent blood thinner and should  work well to eliminate the DVT.  Especially since you caught it early. 

Sorry that you have to wait until Monday to have more instruction from the nurse on the feeding tube.  If you have issues, I wouldn't hesitate to call your Doctor's weekend answering service for a call back tonight or on Sunday.  Also, and this may seem weird, but people do put a lot of practical, useful information on YouTube.  If you just search for your issue (such a: Care and cleaning of a medical feeding tube) you will be amazed at all the videos available - sometimes from Mayo Clinic or other cancer centers, sometimes from just regular patients explaining how they deal with issues.  At least it can be a starting point if you are feeling frustrated and unsure.

I hope your son is helping you out. It must be very scary for him to have you dealing with all of this. (Scary for you too I am sure.) 

It is especially hard that all of this is happening right on the 2 year anniversary.  For me the anniversary of my husband's death is always an emotional and depressing time.  As you move past that sad date, it may become a little easier to deal with demands  being piled on you because of this cancer. 

I pray that the oncologist has a good treatment plan for you. 

I will be praying for you a lot. I am so sorry this road is so hard. 

Gail

 

[KayC]

11 hours ago, John9 said:

It is just so overwhelming again.

John, I'm so sorry it is overwhelming, whenever there's a change it can be and you're getting slammed with many at once.  Remember to breathe and and stay in today.  A friend of mine was on Eloquis quite a while, the VA paid for his so might be something to check into if you're a veteran.

Annie, will be keeping you in prayer also as you await talking to your doctor, prayers for you kitty mom!  I don't believe God gave you Cosi for something to happen.  Animals are such great incentive.

I echo Gail's response...

[movingon]

@John9how are you feeling today?

[AJ4]

Welp, I bought a snowblower today.  I hope I can figure out how it works and hope it will be powerful enough.  My kids aren't going to live here forever, so I'm planning ahead.   We got another huge snowstorm last night and my son did most of the shoveling before he left.   

I want to go out today  (kinda have to) and I got a notitification about a gallery art show in town.  But it was the gallery that my husband could never walk by without stopping in to look at the art (it is an artist co-op) and frequently he'd buy something as a present for someone or some greeting cards.   I want to go but I also don't want to go without him and his enthusiasm for looking at things.     

[AJ4]

I've changed my mind about going out.  There is now heavy, wet sleet falling and they haven't plowed our road yet.  We did build a snow man though (me and my daughter). 

 

[AJ4]

This is about half the driveway, seen from the road.

[John9]

6 hours ago, maud said:

@John9how are you feeling today?

maud,

Honestly, I feel like crap, in so many ways. Everything hurts and I am sorry but I hate this so much.

[John9]

Sim7079,

Thank you for your thoughts. Yes it is hard on trigger days/events. And you are correct that some people don't seem to read any of our responses, they just want an opening to talk about themselves. Not that we would probably even notice if we weren't hurting so bad from our grief. But I can't understand people anymore, the lack of contact or even any attempt of contact. I know it hurts me that my loving wife's family have no real contact with our Son or I since my loving wife died. But that is why I need this forum and others, because we do care about each other. Take care, John

[AJ4]

I'm sorry you are hurting

[movingon]

1 hour ago, John9 said:

Everything hurts and I am sorry but I hate this so much.

I'm so sorry that it all hurts. Did you have anyone there with you today? The nurse will come tomorrow, can she do anything more for you than explain the  feeding tube? 

[KayC]

14 hours ago, John9 said:

I know it hurts me that my loving wife's family have no real contact with our Son or I since my loving wife died. But that is why I need this forum and others, because we do care about each other.

Oh John, I'm sorry, I know it hurts.  So many of us have experienced that, myself included, I figured the family George came from I was probably better off but for those who were close when they were alive, it's such a rude awakening, we figure it's hard enough with what we're going through to add that onto it. 
I hope you have contact with your son through this...

[Roxeanne]

14 hours ago, John9 said:

Take care,

I'm so sorry John for all you're going through..!!

I wish i have some magical words to soften all your pains

I can only hug you from afar....hold on my friend!

Roxi

[movingon]

On 3/12/2023 at 5:01 PM, John9 said:

maud,

Honestly, I feel like crap, in so many ways. Everything hurts and I am sorry but I hate this so much.

@John9how are you doing today? Did the nurse come today? 

[KayC]

We got 3" of heavy wet white cement sludge 4-7 pm last night, unpredicted, I made a pass three times, shoveled three hours, had to climb on my dog pen to shovel off the internet dish (why they stuck it there!)  May be pretty to look at but not fun to deal with.  Only time I truly  enjoyed it was when George was here, sipping cocoa and making snow angels together, younger then...

[foreverhis]

Today, Cosi and I are here weathering yet another atmospheric river. Started raining around 5 am. We’ve had 2/3 of an inch in 5 hours with another 2 inches predicted by midnight. Then a few days of clouds, followed by a week of moderate rain. Our average yearly rainfall here is 18 inches. We’re currently at 30 inches with a forecast of at least 5 more by the end of the month.

The last storm brought us “only” 2 inches, but the front split so that 30 miles north and 30 miles south got between 6 and 8 inches in 40 hours. More flooding, more evacuations, millions more in damages.

 I mean, we desperately needed rain this season, but perhaps should have specified, “Not so much that we need to consider building an ark, please.”

 I hope everyone is safe and warm today.

[Gail 8588]

Annie, 

Glad you were spared the worst of the last storm.  Sorry you are in the path of yet another rain train. 

I worry about Big Sur. It was tragic a few years ago when so much of it burned.  The Dolan fire (125,000 acres burned by arson) burned all of the 80-acre Condor sanctuary at Big Sur. I can only imagine how this rain is devastating the burned area with erosion, mud slides etc. 

I'm glad you and Cosi are together to weather the storm.  Prayers for all the people suffering in this extraordinary inundation. 

Gail

[John9]

On 3/13/2023 at 7:16 AM, KayC said:

I hope you have contact with your son through this...

KayC,

Yes, our Son is here with me as is a friend of his. His friend said he will drive me if I need him to to the appointments. He did take me to one already because he knew where it was and i didn't. I saw a Doctor today because I had spots on my lings, he said they were too small to treat, but were probably related to the cancer I have. I just received a call from the Chemotherapy department and I start chemo a week from tomorrow for the next 6 weeks. I am not sure when the Radiation will start because the person who called does not work in that Department.

The Nurse came yesterday and gave me instructions on the use of the feeding tube, but she ended up actually causing me some discomfort because she read the "instructions" wrong and gave me too much water with the food. She gave me the amount I am supposed to get in a day in the one feeding. I was miserable all night long and I still don't feel right. I just did my first feeding by myself and I am full but it was manageable. You really need 3 hands to do everything, so I can see why some people would want to be hooked up to a pump. But I was tethered to the pump in the Hospital and I can't be hooked up for 16 hours at a time, plus the cats would just love to chew on the tubing. Take care, John

[movingon]

1 minute ago, John9 said:

Yes, our Son is here with me as is a friend of his.

@John9oh, so glad your son and his friend are there, having them with you will certainly help. Hope the chemo and radiation will help you, praying for you john9

 

[John9]

18 hours ago, maud said:

@John9how are you doing today? Did the nurse come today? 

maud,

Yes she came, but she actually made me feel worse because she misread the paperwork and gave me too much water with the "food". I hurt all night because I felt like I ate a huge Thanksgiving dinner. It will all work out if it is supposed to. Take care, John

[John9]

7 hours ago, KayC said:

We got 3" of heavy wet white cement sludge 4-7 pm last night, unpredicted, I made a pass three times, shoveled three hours, had to climb on my dog pen to shovel off the internet dish (why they stuck it there!)  May be pretty to look at but not fun to deal with.  Only time I truly  enjoyed it was when George was here, sipping cocoa and making snow angels together, younger then...

KayC,

Yes, everything was so different when we had our spouses with us and we were younger. I know whenever I would clear the driveway and such, my loving wife would have a hot bath and a hot beverage for me. "luckily" for me, I am in no shape to be doing anything right now. The snow we have received lately is mostly gone in a day, with our without shoveling. I did have to scrape ice off my windshield this morning in order to get to my Doctor appointment, but it was 19 degrees and windy. I am sorry that you have to do all of that yourself though. As for the dish, they put them where it works best for them, usually because they are lazy. Take care, John

 

[Gail 8588]

John, 

That is so aggravating that the nurse didn't know what she was doing.  Arrgh -  it makes you want to scream. 

Praying that the treatment plan will (eventually) bring you some relief. 

I wish your path could be easier. 

Gail

[movingon]

For goodness sake, that isn't good, but I'm glad you made it through john9, keep as strong as you can be.

[foreverhis]

4 hours ago, LostThomas said:

She's just a year old and still so curious but we've settled into some routine and it makes me feel good when she signals it's time for us to retire to the bedroom to finish our day there. 

Ditto!  Even to Cosi's age (15 months-ish).  She's signaling me right now, "Hey, mom, it's time to go upstairs to settle down for the night.  Don't forget my grey mousie!"  She loves toys; I've bought her some and friends have gifted her with several.  But it's the wonderful grey mousie I bought her that is her talisman.  She'll even carry it downstairs in the morning if I forget it.  Never mind that I bought the same mouse as tan mousie--she must have her grey one.

She is such a polite bedmate.  We start sleep time with my arm outside of the covers for her to hold and cuddle.  She's claimed John's pillow as her back rest and refuses to settle down until I put it in the right position for her.  She still sniffs it sometimes, so I am even more convinced that her little cat nose scents him there, where my human nose no longer does.  Even gone, he's here, you know?

Then at some point, we both turn the other way and just sleep for however long.  Early in the morning she quietly climbs off her side of the bed, goes to the litter box to pee (no poo until later in the day, thankfully), and has the small kibble snack I leave for her at bedtime.  Then she plays with a toy or two, including grey mousie, of course, before climbing back into bed to finish her sleep. 

When I wake up, usually a little before the alarm, but sometimes not these days and I'll even hit "snooze" if we're both tired, she's back curled next to me.  As soon as I say her name, she reaches out to hold me and often stretches her front paws under my pillow before lying on my arm again.

And now, after more than 2 inches of rain today with another several hours to go, I'd better obey The Queen of All She Surveys.

[KayC]

Annie, I tried to find out something about the area you're living in but not much to go by with "central coast" as the predictions were okay, so glad you were spared the worst, but that is still a lot of rain for the ground to absorb.

Southern CA predictions didn't fare as well, where TAM lives.

But as with our predictions, doesn't always go as they say, they said a high of 47 here yesterday, it got up to 35 for a while, the rest of the time below freezing, and were they off with us getting 3" of white cement sludge from 4-7pm, the heaviest stuff I've ever shoveled!

 

[KayC]

John, I am so sorry no one seems to be doing their jobs correctly, that makes it pretty tough on you, the patient!  Very sorry you were fed too much water in your feeding tube, making you uncomfortable the rest of the day!  Praying things go better for you, so glad your son and his friend are there as you go through this.  Damn, getting older sucks, doesn't it!  It seems we're all in for surprises as to what we get hit with in our old age, some of us quite a bit younger than others!  I never dreamed I'd be incapacitated in my 60s by multiple hand injuries!  It's rougher to deal with than people think.  If they don't see physical disabilities they tend to disregard it, like my being ordered to do kitchen cleanup for three hours on Christmas Day...I had my entire hand bandaged yet was still expected to do dishes, cleanup, it was ridiculous and caused me tremendous grief and pain over the next month as I fought infection.  But cancer?  No one dreams of it, I am so sorry, my friend.  Praying for you!

[John9]

Hello all,

Sadly the feeding ended up causing me to have severe episodes on the toilet. I ended up calling my Doctor and she told me that basically the Nurse ended up giving me a colonoscopy prep and she told me that I was only supposed to be on supplemental feeding IF I needed them. The Doctor said to try one feeding today and I did and 2 hours later I had another episode on the toilet. I have an appointment with the Doctor tomorrow and I have so many questions for her, but one of them is could I be allergic to the food, because when the Nurse gave it to me Monday that was the first time I had that one, because it wasn't the same color as the one that I received while in the Hospital. I just need this to end, it is so hard, on top of everything else the pain is terrible and nothing really stops the pain, it barely takes the edge off of it. And where the feeding tube was placed it is very close to where I feel the tumor pain and sometimes it feels like I am being cut in half, and of course there is pain where the tube comes out of my body. Take care, John

[AJ4]

I'm so sorry John, that's just awful.  

[movingon]

Oh my....that is so upsetting that you are going through all of this in addition to the pain. Hope these doctors and nurses get on this and figure out how to help you instead of causing you more discomfort and not alleviating your pain. I wish you would feel better john9