I Miss Him So...

[Error username not found]

i know what u mean. i feel the same way. i keep getting lost in my thought and thinking of me being pregnant again and kissing him and being together and i get that "happy" back. but when reality hits me i feel so lost and pissed and helpless. i feel the same way but i dont have any answers. i just cry n cry sometimes.theres no way around it which sucks but **** i miss him and im soo lost without him.

[Error username not found]

oh and grannyc -- sue that motherf****r!! lol. you have the contract.... **** them. sue them. hope that helps =). goodnight.

[armaiti]

Laura - I understand the being tired all the time part. It just takes so much energy to keep getting through the day, to get things done. Cleaning the house is the big thing for me...I try to at least get the dishes done before I go to bed. The rains are here and the floors are getting dirty faster because the cats come in with muddy feet. A lot of the time I just want to sit and read or watch DVDs and try not to think about how empty the house is without Ishaq.

I guess with my spiritual path being what it is, I never had a problem getting angry with god because my belief is different than a lot of peoples...I believe in the divine energy, that we are all part of one greater spiritual force, but I don't believe in a god that is him or her or anything like that. So there's no one to get made at for me. And I know that Ishaq died laughing, instantly from that blood clot, and I know that he didn't suffer, or die in a hospital, so I can't really get mad about it. I just hope I can go like he did, in a beautiful place and quick like that. I just feel empty a lot of the time, and like I'm going through the motions of living. My friends check in on me and ask how I'm doing, but nobody really can get it because they haven't been through it. Even though Ishaq was their teacher, or their close friend, or even in Carol's case where he was her brother - she still had her husband to help her grieve Ishaq's death, and once folks go back to their homes, I'm alone here. It really sucks sometimes.

Blessings,

Anna

[grannyc]

Dear ((New found Family))

I really believe that God doesn't outright take our love ones, I think its

the circumstances of this world. God gave the ultimate choice in the beginning to Adam & Eve and when they made such a poor choice, we lost everything. The world by human's choices has become almost a terrible place to exist in. My husband died from something he's been living with since Vietnam. God didn't have anything to do with starting that war or the use of Agent Orange over there, but evil exists in this world and we are all affected by that.

I am like all of you am so very lost and alone, only 1/2 here becuz my husband was my other half, my best friend, confidante, etc. There are days I wonder if I am going to make it the full haul through this pain. It is HARD work to go on alone. And I too hate every minute of it. But, I don't have anger at God, mine would be more at this rotten world, this countries' government that took most of my husbands adult life and turned it into one thing to endure after another. He went to Vietnam a young innocent boy of 20 and returned a weary, hurt man with the mind of an old man over what he had seen and had to do, and never again was he that fun loving guy that I married. But, Love oh yes. We made it inspite of what we had to conquer and our love did nothing but grow for all of that I thank God.

You HAVE EVERY right to be angry, we all do we are now the walking wounded and no one understands until they are thrown onto this path like we were.

My best thoughts and hopes to you - I hear and feel your pain, too.

Please just take one day at a time and stay here with me to also help me along my long road.

The Best to all You,

GrannyCheryl

[grannyc]

I look, read search for things that will help me to go on. Here are a couple poems or such I have come across lately. This first one was at the entrance of an old deserted mine in Butte, Montana called the (ready for this?) THE MERRY WIDOW MINE AND CAMP GROUND it is painted on some scap metal near the entrance.

""We Turn Looking Back To See The

Broken Image Of What We Were,

In Our Journey To Discover

What We Are............""

Lastly for tonight......................"Perhaps strength doesn't reside in having never been broken...But, in the courage required to grow in the broken places""

Good Night All

GrannyCheryl

[crushedheart]

Good morning everyone..as I read your posts ..I too was very angry at God ..so yes I understand that anger only too well..I couldn't understand for the life of me how God would allow my husband to go thorough the Hell of being on life support for almost a week ..then through a LOT of praying from everyone ..Let him come off sit up in a chair ..eat ..do everything that told us he would be alright for some 15 hours then take him like he did...I even went outside raised my fist at God ..told him how crewl he was and didn't ever want any part of him from then on ..I was in tears laying on the ground when my youngest daughter drove up ..I told her what I said to God ..and never mention his name in our house again ..her reply too me brought me to a startling halt...she said mom ..God gave us a gift letting dad have that last 15 hours in perfect health ..too be able to talk to us ..tell us what he felt ..tell us over and over again how very much he loved us ..she added..MOM a lot of people don't get that chance..long story short...I thank God every day now for the goodness..and many blessings he's given me and my children ..during this horrible time ..we don't rely on fake friends or fake family that's forgotten about us ..we pray for them ..cause everyone on this earth will walk this road sooner or later...this world is very wicked place to be now..but someday God will release those warriors that will come back to reclaim God's earth ..Wish I could hug you all right now ..cause I know just how you feel...Granny i love reading your posts...makes me feel better too...hugssssss YOU all

[armaiti]

Hi everyone...I'm feeling pretty crappy today...sore throat and headache...I don't remember getting sick this much when Ishaq was alive, I guess the general stress of living without him just makes things worse. I'm just so tired today I don't feel like I can do much of anything...cancelled going to rehearsal, can't sing anyway with a sore throat. It's times like these that I wish I did take happy pills...sigh. Everything just feels grey and empty and what's the point...

I feel at such loose ends, just not inspired, which sucks, because as an artist, to create new stuff I need to be inspired. Luckily I have a bunch of photos to work with already, becaue I'm just not very inspired to go take new ones.

Just wish this was a bad dream that I could wake up from. Sometimes I think, maybe this is me in a coma and I'll wake up and he'll be there...wierd fantasy I guess, but I sure wish it was true. I know I'll see him when I die but it seems so very very far away.

Blessings,

Anna

[crushedheart]

Sorry your not feeling well Anna...that's my wish tonight...Oh how I wish my hubby was here...so much to talk to him about ..problems and everyday life things...Hope you feel better tomorrow...

[airymoon]

anna im so sorry to see you like this i hope you feel better and it does stink that you are sick and he isn't there i had a bout of strep this summer and i felt worse than i normally would have. Just remember he is there in spirit andhe is always with you. wrap yourself in yours and his love and sleep

becky

[lauraa]

I have also been sick the last several days with a cold, temp, body aches...maybe that is why I have been so emotional about my husband not being here for me. I still feel as if I am in a horrible dream and still cannot believe or accept that he is gone. I know he is gone but it still feels so surreal. So many years of working our asses off to get ahead and establish ourselves and now I just feel like, "for what". My zest for life just isn't the same. Someone told me last week that they just can't believe that nobody has scarfed me up yet...I told him that is the last thing I want! Like that will make all me pain go away. And besides that, I don't think anyone is big enough to take that role on and support me through my heartache and healing. Maybe, who knows....someone also said to me that when we are making plans god is laughing. That is probally true because I would never in a gazillion years want what happened to us. I feel as though why try because it doesn't matter because god already has a plan for our lives....it is already mapped out for us......guess I'll sit back in my hammock and relax and see where that leads me.

You are all truely a great bunch of woman. I think we have surprised ourselves in our strength...I never thought I could survive not having my wonderful husband til old age together. Yet then again, I have my moments when I still don't think I can survive this loss.

Blessings to you all.

[crushedheart]

Yep Lauraa...my feelings exactally ...well everyone I 've seemed to manage to CRASH again this morning ..MY God how much more can we all stand ...I 've been cleaning the house just as tho he was still here..getting it ready for company tomorrow..OHHHH GOD ...I went outside to clean the Grill...and there sat my husbands small coleman cooler...he took it to work with him every day with a bottle of fresh milk...and water...I wish i could die and be with him ..you all don't know how badly i wish that now...hard to type and see through tears ladies..But i'm pounding this stupid key board so hard it's a wonder it doesn't smash it ..Criesssssssssssssssssss Help ME GOD !!!!!!

[missyouhoney811]

Crushedheart - I know what you are going through. When my husband died I could not get out of bed. I did not function at all. I am thankful I was able to get through that part of grieving. It did take a long time and it was a struggle but I actually made myself planning to do at least one thing a day "For Me". I watched "John Edwards" in "Crossing Over" the other evening. He stated that although our soulmates are still with us in spirit they are not in our body form. We can still respect and love them forever but the main concern is how we now live our life. We are still here our loved ones are not. We must have a plan for our future. Even tho most of the time we feel as if we have no future without our mate. It is a tough road but as time goes on you will get stronger. You will ALWAYS miss your loved one. I am sure he would never want you to be unhappy. Everyone on this board is extremely strong. We must and we will go on. With our soulmates we had a past and a present. The future is for us to make and live by.

My husband was in the hospital last year for 143 days he spend 99 in ICU on the vent. So you know I have gone through HELL and back. I made the doctors pull out the big guns where the medicine was concerned. We tried our best. It was not in the plan for my husband to return home. I'll always miss him.

Everyone is in my prayers.

God Bless.

Dorothy

[missyouhoney811]

On 10/11 it will be 14 months for John. My son's birthday (26) is on 10/11. He wants me to make his birthday dinner this year. On 10/10 we are going out to dinner before going to see "John Edwards" (Medium).

The rest of my day will be ordering a birthday cake (I refuse to bake now. I just have no desire in being Susie Homemaker anymore). I must take flowers to John's grave. I do that every month. I also have to weed the plants that I planted this summer. Hopefully, they will come back next year. I am also keeping my fingers crossed in hope that I will have a buyer for the van by the end of this week. I am starting to move on all of Johns medical equipment and supplies very slow but I am getting in the process of selling everything. Maybe by the end of the year I will have his clothing boxed up. I am not ready to give them away.

Hope everyone has a good day.

Dorothy

[missyouhoney811]

Anna - I agree with you being depressed does make you ill. I guess because we got so run down after the death of our loved ones. It took me 2 months to get better from my last illness. I actually took my last pill on Saturday. Hopefully, I am now strong to fight off the future bugs that plan on coming my way.

Get better................

Dorothy

[missyouhoney811]

Lauraa - Sorry you are also ill. Get healthy and strong.

I also agree.................get a attorney. It is your money. Whether you need or not THAT IS NOT THE POINT....I simply hate people that try to get over on others. Fight them..........they are not acting like friends.......Do you really want or need them around you?? So feelings get hurt it is all part of life. Fight Them.....

God Bless,

Dorothy

[missyouhoney811]

Prayer of Remembrance - In the rising of the sun and in its going down, we remember them in the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter. In the opening of buds and in the rebirth of spring. In the blueness of the sky and in the warmth of summer. In the rustling of leaves and in the beauty of autumn. In the beginning of the year and when it ends. When we are weary and in the need of strength. When we are lost and sick at heart. When we have joys we yearn to share, we remember them. So long as we live, they too shall live, for they are now a part of us, as we remember them.

[crushedheart]

Thanks Dorothy ...it'll be 3 months July 26th for me ..Today was a horrible rotten day ..I thought i had this under control..Boy did I get a blast from the past...this wonder woman fell apart ... I actually got sick to my stomach ..this big ol hole in my heart seems to be getting BIGGER...I try hard to put on a front and a brave face for my daughters and my grandson ..when I read about what other's have gone through ..I do feel blessed...just knowing you all can make it ..It gives me courage and I know i can make it to...Gosh I am babbling ...anyhow thanks for sharing your life with us ....hugsssssssss

[airymoon]

crushed--three months i remember so well it was one of the hardest months i dont know why. I remember thinking that i should be able to go a day without crying and i should be able to wake up before i start crying by then not the other way around. Getting sick to your stomach? almost everyday for 4 months i would be in the bathroom in the am and evening throwing up and i never throw up. The hole does feel bigger at this month but i think it was more that the numbness had worn off. I remember the first 6-9 months were like being hit again and again everytime i thought something was better it would hit me and id think it was worse than ever it was like being shot and looking down and seeing the hole and the blood and then thinking you got it stopped enough to move a little and then realizing you were hit again because the bleeding started again and the hole was a little bigger but you didn't even see the bullet. that how i remember it. I remember just throwing my hands up and yelling "anything else god cuz im wide open now take your best shot.keep it coming it can only kill me now." It seemed like everything would fall apart at once and only a few things would get resolved just to have twice as many collapse again. It does get better and i know you dont want to hear this but it takes time and tears and effort even if the effort is to just take a breath.

We are all puling for you.

Have I told you ladies how grateful I am for this board and all of you? I love you all i really do it feels like i have reconnected with a long lost family and a whole new group of friends that i somehow have known forever,

A lot of times peole ask me if im getting counseling and i think i dont need to i have the board but i dont tell them because they dont understand how this works here and they would just sat it isn't enough.

Thank you all agaln

Becky

[missyouhoney811]

Any time I mention the board to others. They more or less tell me I should get away from it. Most people that I know seem to feel if we do not talk about the death of our love ones somehow it will be easier to go on with our life. Everyone has to go through grief at one point in their life. Perhaps their are many ways to do it but I am happy I found this board. It has been the only support that I have needed. I to feel a closeness with everyone here.

I think I better go to sleep. I have to get my hair done in the morning. In the afternoon I am getting my nails done and also a pedicure. Tomorrow is be kind to Dorothy Day........................

God Bless,

Dorothy

[crushedheart]

Good morning everyone..Becky you did indeed describe the hole in my heart ..that's just what it felt like...I too am so grateful to you all on this board...it's the only place I can come to and talk freely ..you all don't make me feel small about my feelings...which is UP and Down most times...My morning is going a little better then yesterday ..Hope you all are having a peaceful day ..My company called and won't be here until Thursday ..I call them company ...actually it's my brother and his wife from Michigan ..I'm looking forward to seeing them...but for a very selfish reason ..I won't have to be alone at night ..Just knowing someone else is in the house at night..means I can rest better..I must be getting some what over the night time fears tho...last night I even forgot to set the house alarm ..that's a first sinse my husband passed away ..Got up this morning and usually that's the first thing i do is shut it off...I looked and behold I hadn't even set it...does that mean I'm healing a bit or that i am getting old and forgetful...LOL..thanks everyone on here...you all feel like family to me as well...I appreciate each and every one of you more then you will ever know...Hugsssssssssssss YOU all

[amberi]

Hi everyone,

Well I finished scattering Alex's ashes on our 12th wedding Anniv. and I think it was Anna way back when, I was scared I wouldnt feel anything and you told me it would mean something and you were right. It was a beautiful place up on Fremont peak in central CA. it was like you were on top of the world. So he went into the ocean and up in the woods like he wanted. I did save some ashes for me and the kids to keep.(good Idea, thank you) I do feel very much at peace with it now. On Sun. I didnt even get sad, it just felt so peaceful. Maybe cuz we had already had the emotional first scattering so I new what to expect. My son was so funny he put a handful of ashes in his hair and rubbed it in. He looked like he was gray. I didnt question him on why, figured it was what felt right to him. I have really let them do what feels right for them with out buggin. But Sadye finally (thank god) let me take out our bed and put in the new one. Now I can sleep better and I know Alex understands. It just feels so good to be back on the board again. Work got really crazy and I had no time. Yep still no computer at home.

Oh yeah and Becky I took Alex's ring (he hadnt been wearing it, cuz he said he didnt feel like he was a good husband (do to the drugs) and needed to earn the ring back, but I didnt think that was true) and put it on my thumb, I heard in some cultures that is also a wedding finger so I will wear it till Dale gets to were he wants it then I will take it off. My ring is locked away in the safe for Sadye. It didnt bother me as bad as I thought it was going to. And I have had several dreams of Alex since all of this and I can tell he is ok with it. and man does that feel good. But I tell ya what, I feel good right now but I know the wave will crash again, so I will enjoy this happy feeling moment while I can.

Take care all,

Amber

[cheryl36]

Hey everyone, Just thought I would check in with everybody..Actually thats somewhat true, Man, I thought I had this emotional roller coaster thing over with and was getting on with a "normal" life, Well yesterday, smacked me right back to reality. I have been crying, and crying, like nonstop. It started when I received a DVD that Scott's mom had made, like a tribute to him. I haven't stopped crying since I watched it. It will be 3 years November 28th. What the hell is wrong with me? OH MY GOD, I thought I was doing so well, start dating, and had been for 2 years. And I cannot stop crying over my Scott. I feel like I'm loosing my mind all over again. I have worked so hard to move forward. And now I feel like I'm back at square one again.

Cheryl

[airymoon]

amber that is all we can do enjoy what we can while we can. I couldn't wear my husbands on my thumb it was too big. Imglad scattering his ashes was peaceful for you iwas a little worried. Ive decided to follow my heart with decisions like that. We just may not have the time to analyze and figure things out if we dont.

crushed not selfish human

dorothy good for you youdeserve it and you go girl

night all

becky

[alspco]

Have been reading many of the posts here. Until now, I thought no one understood how much pain I am in. Now I know. . .there are others. My husband, the love of my life, died of cancer July 6. I wonder who is walking around in my body, because this isn't me. I hate waking up and seeing it's morning and knowing that I will have to face this day without him. I loved that man more than life itself. I would have happily traded places with him. When Socrates was saying good bye to his friends, just before he drank the hemlock, he said something like: You go your way to live and I go mine to die. Only God knows which is the harder. I completely agree with him. This is hell. My heart - what's left of it - goes out to each and every one of you. It's the only time I have actually envied people who have a crappy marriage.

[crushedheart]

Yes alspco...we all understand what your going through ..glad your here and share your feelings with us ...mine passed away July 26th...less then 3 months ago ...and I'm not alive either..I died when he did...It's such a hard thing to do ...Live when we've lost the best part of us ...my nic says it all ..cause that's what i have a very crushed heart...so yes we all understand what that pain is ..Take Care...good night everyone ..hugsssssssssssss

[Guest Guest]

I am new to the concept of the message board and to this website. I found it by fluke but felt it might help. My boyfriend died on May 16 2007 in a car accident with one of his best friends. It was at about 6am on the high way no one - not even the cops- know exactly what happened or what made them go into the ditch. He had gone out that night to the bar with his friends but it was established that booze was no effect of the accident which is one thing that makes me feel better. Jeremy and I got in a fight the night that he left for the bar. The car was so totaled that the cops said it was impossible to tell if they were wearing their seat belts or not. When I saw him at the funeral and wake he looked completely fine you would have never been able to tell he was in an accident not a single scratch or bruise on his face. Its so hard to not have him here, I ended up moving out of our apartment a few months after because I did not want to be living there without him. Its still so hard to deal with everything. I hate every part of the day waking up without him beside me and going to bed in an empty bed. I feel so numb inside and i just hate everything lately. I was on zoloft for anxiety prior to the accident but my doctor recently up'd the dose because he said im at the point i could become depressed or be okay. I feel like all i ever do is cry. I miss him like crazy, and the problem is i have no friends because of this anymore. None of them talk to me because they dont know what to say, others have told me to get over it (one of my friends even said it only 3 months after he died) i just wish someone would understand how shitty i feel.

[airymoon]

guest we understand we really do. If you aren't sure of the board than dont post for a while just read and when you're up to it then post. im glad your here and i hope you find some peace here

becky

[alspco]

Does anyone here have any experience with mediums, psychics, etc.? I am actually thinking about trying to find one. Problem is, there are so many fakers out there, but I really do believe there are some who are credible. I'm desparate and desparate people do desparate things. I hate being a widow. I even hate the word. We need to invent a new word for women like us.

[airymoon]

alspco--partner impaired, single by force, any one have any other ones funny bitter or nice? A lot of people on here have dealt with mediums. I would like to go but i am afraid to go by myself. Im sure there are reputable people out there and just be careful.

[missyouhoney811]

Just wanted to let you know tonight I will be going to see "JOHN EDWARDS" he is a medium. I purchased the tickets last November. I am getting very excited. He has a program on TV called Crossing Over. I have read many of his books after my John died.

I will let you know how everything goes tonight.

Blessings to all.

Dorothy

[rodless]

As always sorry to see new names on posts. I feel all of your pain and remember how the first months were. In my case it has been better after the first year but know it is different for everyone.

Back from a long weekend in Wisconsin. Didn't cry as much as last year, only at the Mississippi bluffs when I remembered how excited Rod was at how excited I was the first time I saw them. Sat by a waterfall in the park in his home town and wrote several pages in my journal. When I left I had the same feelings that I had leaving the Black Hills...sad but peaceful. Those were two special places for us and it will never be the same again.

Dorothy.. hope John Edward is all you want it to be. I have seen him on tv. Would be fun to see him in person. I have also read a book by him.

Beautiful day here. Blue skies with puffy clouds always make me feel better and I love the cooler temps. Thinking of you all... Mary Jo

[aprilmoonflower]

maryjo- glad you had an ok time. it's always good to come home. even if home has changed too.

Amber- that is wonderful news. I'm glad everything went ok and you found a bit of peace.

Dorothy- I can't wait to hear about John Edwards!

becky- glad to see you are still around.

Anna- I hope you feel better!

I am trying to cut way back on online time these days. I am still reading though!

[amberi]

Dorothy, cant wait to here how it went. I would love to go to that, but sounds kinda scary for me too. But do love his show. Hope you have a wonderful experience.

Guest - My husband passed away on May 19, 07. It has been very hard to keep friends for me also. Some of my friends husbands dont want me around cuz now Im "single" yeah not! I can understand where you are at. Just do what feels right for you. One thing I found with this board is that I can yell and scream and get out some of the frustration and everyone is understanding. Sometimes we just need that. Take care of yourself and read or post when you feel like it.

Take care everyone

Amber

[aprilmoonflower]

Amber I hear you. my friends treat me kind of like an alien now. nobody asks how I am without a glazed look in thier eye. I am still waiting for things to not be so awkward..I am starting to think it will never happen. the sucky thing is I am still me. but no one cares. I also have been completely ignored and snubbed by others. people just suck sometimes.

[alspco]

I must say that I am very blessed, at least so far, with people who would do anything for me. People have truly been there, almost to a fault. The last two months, to a large extent, I have quit answering the phone, gotten a little pissy when friends have intruded too far, and spent a lot of my day in bed. BUT, today I made a couple of travel plans for next year. Who knows whether I will actually follow through, but it felt good to make a plan. I know my husband would not want me to spend the rest of my life miserable, so I am trying to "buck up" and live. He was such a happy, glass-is-half-full kind of guy. He would want me to find a way to be happy. So, even though that seems impossible, I figure I will just go through the motions until it starts to feel real, if only for a little while. That's my plan. Tomorrow I plan to go to the cemetary. I haven't been there since the head stone was placed. I am going alone, because I just don't think I want anyone else there. He isn't there, I know.

Does anyone have to deal with federal estate tax returns?

Well, thanks for letting me rant (again). ilona

[crushedheart]

yes alspco...I just took everything to our CPA ..let her do the work ..I was too *out of it * to think stright ...

Dorthy I love to watch John Edwards show too...never got to see him in person ..can't wait to hear how it went for you ..

Oh yes alspco...seeing that stone for the first time for me was another *worst day* in my life..Gosh that just about killed me ..and I wish it had...I'm looking forward to joining my hubby soon ..I'm 62 years old and females on my side don't live much into their 60's...Mom passed away at 65...my sister at 47 ..altho I do take better care of myself then they did...up until my hubby passed away that is ..Now I don't eat much..and I can tell the strain of Grief is taking it's toal on my bones.(body).lol..My doctor gave me some of those crazy pills...which I couldn't take.. they made me sick...so I'm going it alone ..out on a limb sorta speak ..and what ever happens ...well i'm ready !!!!

Take Care everyone...nice to see you all on here ...hugsssssssss

[crushedheart]

Welcome back Mary Jo...glad to see your safe and sound and Yes had an ok trip as well..

[alspco]

Crushedheart - I think I understand about your looking forward to being with your hubby. I am no longer afraid of dying. It is so difficult to live now - and I used to be SO happy and fun!! Now, everything is just pain. I guess we should be grateful that we were well loved. But oh my God - the price is high. I would give everything and anything to have him back, or just to be with him - anywhere - anytime - any way. Well, at least we can commiserate here. Take care all.

[Error username not found]

GUEST!!!! i really would want to talk to you in an e-mail. no offence everyone else but her situation is almost exactly the same as mine.write back to let me know your still reading this board!..by the way..this board really does help alot.it feels better to know that other people are going through the same feelings you are.

[missque]

Hello everyone- I am 'guest' who lost her boyfriend and his best friend in a car accident recently. for some reason it didnt post with my screen name.

bacafly- please e mail me melissa_dunn2@hotmail.com

[amberi]

Ok now Im a little worried. I didnt do any kind of taqx anything. Am I missing something, We own a house that I had put into my name the other day. and that was pretty much it. CLosed his checking account, transferred his truck to my name. Can you all tell me what kind of taxes you are having to pay. I would hate to get hit with some massive tax bill.

Thanks

amber

[aprilmoonflower]

Amber- I think she is referring to maybe selling/settling the estate? not sure? I haven't even done probate yet. but my lawyer advised me to wait until I sell or a couple of his debts get dropped. (they do not have my name on them)

[alspco]

amberi - I didn't know I would have to do any taxes either until a friend of mine wised me up (she went through it previously). There is a federal estate tax return called a "706". It isn't something you have to pay because spouses can leave everything, tax free, to each other. However, if your spouse's estate, which includes real estate, joint accounts, cars, boats, jewelery, art, and anything else you can imagine (I was even asked for the value of his clothing!!!) is $2mil you have to file this tax return. You don't have to pay any money (unless you don't file on time - 9 months after date of death), but it's so the IRS can assess taxes to the beneficiaries of YOUR estate if in excess of $2mil. I think it pretty much establishes a basis. It is the most onerous thing you can imagine - a total nightmare. It's a very complicated return, and the accountants charge between $4,000 - $8,000 just to prepare the damned thing, EVEN THOUGH NO TAX WILL BE DUE. But if you don't file it, you will be fined. It totally pisses me off to have to deal with this. Let me know if you have any other questions about this. Happy to share info. My email is: iboilore@racc2000.com ilona

[missyouhoney811]

I was typing like a fool and everything timed out. I have running around to do now it is John Roberts birthday today.

I just wanted to let you know last night was simply out of this world. I believe their were at least 350 people. It went on for 2 1/2 hours. John Edwards actually gave us a reading. I could not believe how he zoomed in on us but he did. It was great. I will re-type everything later. Must run. Today, is truly a wonderful day.

Hugs to all.

Dorothy

[missyouhoney811]

One last thing................ last night I played the lottery. Johns year of birth 43 John Robert's year of birth 81. I played 4381 and also 3418. I hit. I plan on putting the winning ticket in one of John Robert's cards.

Must run out of the house before I get another phone call.

Talk to you later.

Dorothy

[alspco]

missyouhoney - I cannot wait to hear about your reading with John Edwards. Please hurry - I am so anxious to hear about it.

[aprilmoonflower]

Dorothy- I think you must be the luckiest person ever! I can't wait to hear about your reading!!!

[Error username not found]

..when i go to this website it doesnt work.. i have to type in names in order to bring it up..its weird..anyway i wanna know what happen w/ john edward!!

[grannyc]

(((Hi All)))

I don't even know who you are talking about, but I am guessing it is a medium.

I find that very scary. Rather.................from darkness.

Its ironic how the mediums are so accepted, but, if it were a prayer meeting or Christian Service it would have tons of restrictions on it.

Well, really don't have any contribution to your subject.

Later,

GrannyCheryl

p.s. I still have a nephew in a coma if anyone has any extra prayer time keep him in it. If all continues as going now.......They are hoping he will awaken this weekend. . . . Hope! Hope! Hope!

[missyouhoney811]

Here I go - I was seated in the middle of Vanessa and John Robert. I wanted to be between them just in case they would say something that was in reference to what John Edwards was saying.

Their were readings before us. Your seated in the audience - he never leaves the front of the auditorium BUT when he receives energy from a certain section he starts to ramble on certain facts - When he started with GILLIGANS ISLAND everyone started to laugh. As it turned out Vanessa said their is a Gilligans Island in P.R. next John Robert remembered when we went on a Disney Cruise when he was six we stopped at Salt Cay Island which is where Gilligans Island TV series was made. Last but not least my John's favorite nephew has a summer home in Conneaut Lake, Pa. On the lake their was an island for sale which he bought years back. He named it Gilligans Island. So with all this we knew it was John's energy. Our hads raised and we each got a microphone.

John was very sorry that he did not attend all three graduations. Wanted to let John Robert know he was sorry. 3 graduations??? knew of 2 finally remembered high school 1 college 2. John Robert had to appear on stage twice 9AM and 1PM (dual degrees). John was in the hospital by the time the aide got him up, dressed and in his chair he missed the first graduation. I picked him up for the second. He had to return to the hospital by m idnight. At that time he was on IV therapy for infection.

He also apologized for not being able to do things with John Robert in his teenage years.

He knew the form of cancer Johns dad died from

He told us of Johns condition. He actually knew John was paralyzed.

He told me that although the stay in the hospital last year was long he was not in pain. He was peaceful and passing was smooth and easy.

Brought up letters - B living brother Bob and D deceased brother Donald.

John Roberts friend that died in auto accident Dante......maybe Dante came through because Dante and my father had the same birthday which was 8/11 the day that John died.

My cousin without a leg - Walter had sugar.

It was simply fantastic. Our hair raised on our arms. My son and girl-friend never believed in anything like this until the reading was done.

We were also told to enjoy our Christmas vacation...........Puerto Rico 12/23 to 1/3...............I always knew spirits were with us.

Before I left the house to see John Edwards I kissed Johns picture and told him you better make a showing because I spent alot of money for the tickets. He listened.

Blessings,

Dorothy