I Miss Him So...

[airymoon]

crushed heart and cindy it has been 15 months for me...really? not a thousand years and not just a second? i know that feeling i am at the point where i have to count how long its been to make sure but at 2 months i could have told you the length of time in days and hours. I hated going out in public because i felt like i was dangling and there was no where for me to land. i felt like a good strong wind and i would blow away. It is hard to explain i was sure everyone could see i was missing something or something was wrong. it felt like i was out in public naked and everyone knew it but didn't want to say anything. that feeling does go away but it also does pop back in every now and then. I cant give you a magic timeline. i wish it was that easy....just hide inside until the right time and then all the pain is done and you can remember him and feel good about it, i wish. i can tell you that for me the third month was the worse month partly because it was the turning point for me (a small one) i realized i was not going to get to die and be with him and i would have to keep going. so it was the worst month because all the pain came rushing back again but also after that i was not in denial so much and i could take another step forward or sideways but at least a step. I am thinking about you both.

becky

[samrtb]

laurielblack - i know some people would disagree, but i really believe it was because of your husband that the contract was there. things like that still happen to me from time to time and i dont share them with many people for fear of being told im crazy, but there ar things that happen to me, to you, and im sure to all of us that just really can't be explained....just take it as a sign that he loves you and is always with you!

today is 11 months since russ died. i have a weird knot in my stomach that i havent had in months past. its almost like dread, like i am afraid of the one year mark because i thin it will feel like he's died all over again. that probably sounds so strange but i dont know how else to describe it. i may have mentioned before, but for the month or so before he died, i was having panic attacks for no reason, i kept having dreams of him dying, and i had this exact same knot in my stomach. i thought i was going crazy, but i never thought in a million years the dreams i was having were going to be true. i miss him so much, sometimes it doesnt even seem real.

[crushedheart]

Cindy ..your not alone ...even though we feel like it a LOT...I can handle the day time pretty well...it's the nights that get me ..I was never afraid to be alone any time ...Now it feels so scary at night ..I thank God we have 2 daughters living close by ..they take turns staying at night with me...I know it's got to be a pain in the keester for them ...but they never complain ..My husband would be very proud of them both ..

Airymoon...you've come a long way ..Hope time will do that for me and Cindy as well...

laurie...that was such a nice experience you had...your post made me smile..I would love to have a sign from my hubby ...ANYTHING...at first we could smell flowers at different times...when NO flowers were around ..Oh Gosh I have to hush ..tears coming again ..will this pain ever stop?...praying for you all..

[airymoon]

crushedheart

you will see and feel him again. right now the grief is too strong and it over-shadows everything else

[armaiti]

Lauriel, that is so great what happened! I have more contact with Ishaq through dreams, but there has been some physical plane stuff as well. It just shows that our beloveds continue after they pass, that they are with us still.

Becky, Friday it will be 14 months for me. Interesting, it is also the 800th birthday of Rumi, the mystical Sufi poet, and since Ishaq was a Sufi Sheikh it is appropriate in a lot of ways. We'll be singing some of the songs of Rumi poetry Ishaq put to music that night at a celebration.

I'm here alone now, without his sister and her husband who left yesterday. Just me and the cats and all my new shoes. Sigh. Sometimes it seems like forever since I saw him and sometimes it seems like yesterday. I always miss him.

Blessings,

Anna

[grannyc]

Oh My ((Group)) We are certainly all walking the same path. Just at different stages. I can feel my pain with each of your experiences shared.

My Tim died 14 1/2 months ago. And, I will never be the same. I have had days that I feel okay. To take a grief spill like never before. Then to get up and have another day or so that aren't too bad.? I have seen/talked had a visit in 3 dreams since July of 2005 with Tim in them and all of them have left me VERY calm. I wish it'd happen every single night!

My heart and prayers go out to everyone here, but especially you people going through those early months. Somewhere, for me, around 2 months, I think the shock lifted and I had to struggle through the denial my emotions were trying to keep me in. And, yes the whole world goes on without us. We are alone in a crowd and really only 1/2 alive. Its the worst pain I have endured and we have also, 14 yrs. ago lost a grand-daughter.

I still have my moments when I can't believe there could be life for me after Tim. He was the Love Of My Life!

I Have Been Trying To Find a Buddy to e-mail one to one with, through this site, But, the 4 that I have sent too have gone on and no longer keeping in touch much with Indigo. (I was told by Kelly to post it here and see if anyone else feels like I do. So, if Anyone else is interested in more of a pen pal/e-mail buddy let me know via this websight. There are times like just lately, I have had such low, biting thoughts I just couldn't tell anyone that has not been widowed and my one widow friend was gone. I just think it'd be a real lift. (I am 55 if age matters)

Sincerely

GrannyC

[armaiti]

GrannyC - you are welcome to email me directly, I do a lot of work online so I check my computer frequently. Our times are really close, since Ishaq crossed over on July 28th, 2006. I do have my own "unique" perspective of life after death, which not everyone is comfortable with, that Ishaq is still available for me to have contact with and that we have a kind of "interdimensional" relationship, also my spiritual path is eclectic, but if you are comfortable with that, I'm here for you. And anyone else here who feels they would like someone to have more direct contact with. I've been thinking about trying to get an Interfaith loss and grief group together here in Eugene, since most I believe are related to specific churches and this would be more for folks of all spiritual traditions and beliefs.

Anyway, my email is ishaqanna@earthlink.net. And I'm not afraid of dark and twisty stuff either, so if I can help in any way, please email me.

Blessings,

Anna

[Error username not found]

shitty night for me.write later.goodnight.

[samrtb]

GrannyC i tried to find a "buddy" when i first joined this site as well and never got a response. I'm 25, i don't know if that matters, but my email is stsfm33@aol.com if you would like to email me.

hope everyone is doing well....

steph

[computermemaw2]

Oh My ((Group)) I Have Been Trying To Find a Buddy to e-mail one to one with, through this site, GrannyC

GrannyC, you can email me if you'd like. I'm 56.

Gayle

computermemaw2@aol.com

[grannyc]

Cumputermemaw2,

I just sent off and e-mail to you and got it back undeliverable.

I sent it to cumputermemaw2@aol.com

Is that correct?

grannyC

[grannyc]

I see my spelling error (duh)

sorry

GrannyC

[crushedheart]

Today is 2 months...This is nothing short of a burning HELL..and life goes on ..But for the Love of God I don't know how !!!!!

[aprilmoonflower]

Has anyone read A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis? Such a good book. He wrote it after his wife died of cancer. I think could have literally written alot of it myself I think! I have been told my ramblings sound like this book. lol. grief is so universal I am realizing. Everyone will (likely) have a turn at it to.

speaking of writing, I am writing a novel in the month of November! You might be interested in this Anna! http://www.nanowrimo.org/

[rodless]

Hi everyone.. I'm back from an 8 day bus trip. It was great although I could not believe the number of widows on it,,, everything from 6 weeks to 20 yrs. There are too many of us!!! Had a good time with my mom but glad now to have my own space back. Guess I thought the east was basically pavement but loved the many many trees even though the color wasn't complete.

Now..back to normal, whatever that is. Always hard to come home and know Rod isn't here to tell everything to. I talk to him anyway. Had 12 day stretch without tears although I missed him. Somehow the memories are more gentle now and not so sharply painful.

Lots to catch up on and new people here...always sorry to see that. GrannyC you are welcome to email me at rodster@ncn.net. I lvoe have email buddies. Please put Beyond indigo friend in subject line so I don't delete it because I don't regconize email address. I just turned 57 and have been alone for almost 15 months. I was married 13 years (second marriage) to a wonderful man for whom I will be forever grateful.

Mary Jo

[rodless]

April... Farmer Boy historical site was wonderful. Original house with furnishings and a rebuilt barn/farmyard. I am great LIW fan and reread often although my favorite is Little Town on the Prairie. There were lots of us on the bus and some good discussions. My daughter gave me A Grief Observed. I have read it twice now and completely identify.

Mary Jo

[lindat]

Mary Jo,

Glad you had a great time and glad you are back safe and sound. I have been missing my mom lately and I've only been here for 1 1/2 months I guess we can get used to any situation and feel comfortable enough to miss it when it is gone.

We got the biopsy results today and he will have surgery in November. I think he was disappointed that his cancer wasn't gone after the holistic treatment for the last 7 years, but I was very relieved to find out there was no significant progression. They are pretty sure it has not spread beyond the prostate, and that is very good news. I think I had pretty much convinced myself to expect the worst, so I am still kind of in disbelief. I will have to let it sink in..

My email address is linda@shorians.com - I am 60 and my Terry has been gone since January 17, 2006. Hope everyone some peace today.... Linda

[missingcurtis]

GrannyC

I just sent an e-mail to you. I used to come here quite a bit about a year ago.

My husband, Curtis, passed away in December of 2005. It has been 21 months and I still miss him. It has gotten easier but I there are so many things that he did for me or we did together. It boggles my mind at times.

We had a house that I sold and I moved to my old home town. I sometimes think I moved too quickly but at the time it seemed like a good thing to do. I have 5 sisters who live here and I thought they would all be here for me. But that is not always the case.

I left a lot of friends back where we were living that I miss. I still go back to see them but they are mostly married and just don't understand how I feel.

I guess age does not matter, just the horrible experience of losing a loved one that makes people connect.

I hope you got my email and will answer me when you have time.

Debbie..................Missing Curtis

[airymoon]

Linda good news for you!!

Grannyc--you can email me at airymoonmistress@yahoo.com i think the lonelyness is the worst being human we need to give and recieve affection and i dont mean just from the opposite sex but from other humans. i also think it helps to connect with others. I work in a pre-school so i get the hugs and love of 16 4 year olds everyday but i would encourage any of you to consider mentoring a child teens can be tricky so maybe 8 or 9 year olds or try volunteering at the local humane center. just a thought.

ok for some good news i think. i have been talking to someone on line. He is actually someone i went to school with but i didn't recognize him. Well... we have a date tomorrow! actaully im scared senseless but i have told him EVERYTHING including the thing this summer and he still wanted to go. There is a local festival this weekend and we are meeting there. very low key and very public. im not sure if i am ready for this but we will see.

How about that Angel?maybe you brought me good luck

love to all

becky

[grannyc]

Oh My Dear Crushedheart,

I can just hear,feel,remember the physical, emotional and spiritual pain of those first months. Sometimes we have to just take one minute at a time and do not concern yourself with tomorrow, next week, etc. It is enough for you, just getting up every morning and facing a day.

Please know that we all understand, it doesn't ease the horrible pain, but you are not alone and each and everyone of us are here for you!

My Sincerest Thoughts and Prayers

GrannyC

[lindat]

Becky, hope your "date" goes well

[Error username not found]

hi everyone. its gonna be one year today. right now he was still alive and i could have called him and told him. i could have and for some reason it feels like since its the day..i can stop it.im just in disbelief and i want my old life. ive been seeing guys all over the daym place who resemble him. one guy i actually stared at til he walked away because his profile looked exactly like my fiance.if i didnt know better i would have thought that was him. i just stop dead in my tracks and my mouth hangs open and i stare. something i obviously cant help..or want to for that matter. i feel like for a minute i get to see him again.i joke with my sister and say that if i found someone who looked exactly like him id tell them "hey..come here.. respond to this name and dress like this..your mine now" lol.i wish i had him back. i really really really just wish.

.[[.i love you<33.]].

[aprilmoonflower]

Bacafly- I remember feeling that way. the good news is it does fade a little bit. I know that doesn't make you feel better. sorry, I wish I knew the magic words to make it all better for you. 1 year is so long, yet a blink of an eye. sigh. take care of yourself!

Linda- great news about your friend!

Becky- good luck on your date! I hope it goes well and isn't too scary! lol.

grannyc- sorry you are having to join us here.

debbie- haven't seen you around here! glad to know you are still around.

Maryjo- awesome! I am actually a native NYer but hadn't ever thought there might be a farmer boy historical site! awesome! I am going to have to google it now. that was one of the first things I researched online btw when the internet was new (LIW!) I am such a freak! lol. now i just read everything (urban) homestead related! glad you had a nice trip.

[naz496]

National Big Heart Day

11th December.

People ask me what I am doing for Mal's 1yr annivesary and I didnt know. I just want him to be remembered.

I have always said that Mal died because his heart was so big. He gave to anyone that asked or didnt ask, and gave nothing for himself.

This was at the cost of his life.

So in memory of his life I would like to declare

11th December

NATIONAL BIG HEART DAY.

My children and I would like all our family and friends and their family and friends and so on,

On 11 December to Please remember Mal and what a beauitiful person he was, and treasure each minute you have with each other, as it can so easily be taken away.

In his honour I would like everyone to Do one nice thing for someone on this day.

It doesnt have to cost anything, It could be as simple as offering your seat to someone on the train,

offer one of your neighbours the hand of friendship, invite them for coffee.

Give someone less fortunate a hand.

Donate something for a child for christmas to the slavos or st vincent depaul etc To a child that wont get anything.

i would love for the schools to participate.

Children, ask a child that is sitting in the playgound by themselves, to play with you and your friends,

Invite a person you dont sit with to enjoy lunch with you.

Make a coffee for a collegue that you dont normall interact with.

Say hello to someone on the street, most people are to busy and ignore each other.

This is my one wish for this horrible day. That something nice happens on this day.

Mal gave to everyone and I want this to live on in all of us.

I would love for people to reply after this day and tell us what you did, for someone else On BIG HEART DAY.

I would like to collate this into a book for my young children so as they can know how much daddy gave to everyone and that his generosity lives on in all of us.

I will send another email in december to remind everyone, but I would like people to think about it, and remember their families. Not just on this day but all days.

I thank you all for helping this horrible day seen less horrific.

Many thanks

Narelle, Harrison and Montanna.

[naz496]

laurie

I too have had a few of these. We couldnt find the will after Mal died. and 5 days later it fell on the floor. many people had looked in the pile of things it fell out of., the same with my daughters birth certificate.

Naz

[naz496]

sorry just realised that I havent signed the BIG HEART DAY its from me Naz

[crushedheart]

Hello everyone..just sitting here reading the posts..and having another LOST feeling day ..Naz I love the idea of Big Hearts...my husband too had such a wonderful kind BIG HEART..like your's he was always there to help any one in need... we taught our kids to be that way as well..

Granny thanks for your encouraging words...I'm dealing with this One breath at a time ...feel free to email me at arrowhead1_@hotmail.com

I named my email address for my grandson ..we use to go out into the fresh plowed fields around here and hunt Indian arrowheads..

Bacafly..I can feel your hurt ...I just don't know any words too help..other then I'm praying for all of us daily ..

Take Care everyone..

[computermemaw2]

GrannyC, where's my email? (grin)

Gayle

[samrtb]

bacafly - i am so sorry today is your one year. i dont know what to say, but you are in my thoughts and prayers. stay stong.

steph

[missinmyhubby]

Hello all....

Hello to the new members...

TRAINING IS OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHOOT HOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I passed!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This morning was the last flight for IOE, initial operating experience. It's official and I start on the line this Monday in New Bern, North Carolina!!!!! I will write all about it sometime this weekend. Man, am I relieved!!!! I got done and first thing I did was look heavenward. I had to tell him I did it. I sure hope he heard and saw!!! That huge piece of me feels like I moved further on without him...one more thing I have accomplished without him here. In four years I have watched my children grow, remarried, and now have gone on to furthering my career once again (one we had been building together that ended abruptly the day he died). I am sad and happy all at once.....I hope he knows I did it for us....everyone....him, me, the new hubby and the kids. Thank each and everyone of you for all the kind words and support over the last few months...I love you all!!!!!

Now, I have to go catch my flight home (I have been in Dothan, Alabama all week) and see my family. The baby (well, 7 yr. old) fell Monday night while I have been gone and broke both bones in her left wrist!!! She is sporting a bright pink cast that I have yet to sign!!! Kids....lol. I will give details later too!!! Hope all have a good day today!!!!

BIG (((((HUGS))))) TO ALL!!!!!

Angel

[airymoon]

angel i am so happy for you.

bacafly i think he sent you the butterfly. i was relieved on the one year date also but it kinda hit again the next day. You do turn a corner though and it is a start . if you want to remain with you husband from now on then that is what you should do. i feel like kurt is watching out for me and sends me vibes if its a good thing or not.

[armaiti]

Today it's fourteen months for me. I still am constantly missing Ishaq, especially now that the house is empty again and just me and the cats and his pictures all around. I'm lonely, but only for him. I don't want another person in my life, I just want him back. I haven't been feeling very good lately, had a touch of a stomach bug, and it just sucks that he isn't here with me. I'm supposed to co-lead an evening of Rumi poetry, songs and devotional music tonight for Rumi's 800th birthday and am planning on going though I don't feel that great. I feel I need to get motivated with all these projects with my art and writing, but just can't get into it. It's hard to create when you feel just blah. But the holiday season will be here before I know it and I have to get cards and stuff ready for the craft markets and sales and all. I'm just kind of down lately. There was no one like him in my life ever before and never will be again. He was, as one of his friends used to say "one of kind". It's been raining today, and I'm actually enjoying that though the yard is still a mess and I haven't put up the stuff from summer in the back yard yet...sigh. So much to do and so little motivation to do it.

Angel, I'm happy for you, congratulations!

Blessings,

Anna

[crushedheart]

Hi Everyone...Sorry to hear your not feeling well Anna..I made it through the past 2 days feeling like I was walking in Hell...Now it's on into the 3rd month with out my hubby..Like you I need to get motivated ..But I still say WHAT FOR?.. I wind up NOT doing anything ..

Angel...nice to meet you ..congrats from here as well...you sound like you've pretty much got it all together now...I wish you and your's happy and joy always ..

Take Care everyone...

[airymoon]

anna- it is hard being lonely! and trying to fill the time with endless things to do only helps until they are done after that it all comes back. i think it helps to have some one new in your life like a new friend to get to know and find a common interest in. not a romantic interest but just a friendly one male or female just to turn your attention away form the lonliness. The problem is its hard to trust new people and not easy to go out there and make friends that dont know what we've been through. Just try to feel ishaq and remember him if its not too hard. I carry a picture of kurt with me and i keep it where i can see it when im lonely for him.i hope your feeling better soon

becky

[rodless]

Anna, I so understand what you're saying..... "I'm lonely but only for him." I have lots of friends always asking to do things but I find since I can't be with Rod, sometimes I would rather be by myself, something a lot of people don't understand. But I do think I'm doing better as each month goes by. Now that I say that, I'll probably have a big crash. Day by day by day. Mary Jo

[armaiti]

Thank you everyone for your kind words! I find I'm also having my yearly period...I started menopause early at around 49, am 52 now and every time I think I'm REALLY done, I'm not! Menopause - the gift that keeps on giving. So I'm realizing what I thought was a tummy bug was cramps starting up again. So annoying.

Mary Jo, I agree with you about the being by myself thing. There's a woman who I have known over the years who wants me to come to dinner with her and her husband, they were really closer friends of Ishaq, and I'm hesitant to go, because having to be "social" is just so hard. I have several close friends I go out with for lunch or dinner and one on one is so much easier.

Blessings,

Anna

[grannyc]

Hey There,

Computermemaw2

I just sent my second e-mail, have been hoping to hear from you.

Have you not received them? test. test. test. Are our wires crossed?

Hope your weekend will be a good one!

GrannyC

[Guest Guest]

Hello everyone- my name is Diane and I lost my husband one month ago today. It was very sudden. I have never felt such unbearable pain like I do. We were the true form of sould mates. High school sweethearts, married, divorced, remarried! I have know hime for 30 some years. I feel as though I can't go on. It is very surreal. I hate this new life!!!!!

[computermemaw2]

GrannyC, email me again please and put Beyond Indigo in the subject line so I'll know it's you. I usually automatically delete email that I receive from folks I don't know to cut out the garbage mail I get at times. I probably deleted your email since I didn't recognize the name. Gayle

[Error username not found]

i know what you all mean about lonley for him.thats the perfect way to describe it.i feel so alone at night and i just hate it..but i dont want another guy there.. i just want him. noone can be like him. he was perfection to me. eh..well i got some work to do...goodnight.

[Error username not found]

hey..just got done with my work. i havent let myself think of him how we really used to be in a long time. i usually think of alot of negative things so that it doesnt bother me as much but today i let myself remember..i mean really remember. i felt like he was in the shower and he was gonna come into the living room dressed in a white t-shirt and shorts with his hair still wet and i would show him what i just wrote and read it to him and he would smile and tell me how smart i am and that he loved me. i miss that.we loved eavhother alot. we always complimented eachother.we would play around and it was just always a good vibe and almost like playful and happy to see eachother all the time. i hate that i cant see him anymore. ive become numb to everything and remembering is bringing me back to all those things that i love. the reason why i loved my life. i love our son..but my life not so much. i never wanna go back to reality..i just wanna think of him and think of him so i can be happy for once.goodnight everyone. i know once i go to my bed this will fade..i wish i always had him.

[missyouhoney811]

Hello ladies - On my anniversary 9/27 I had a pap test and on 9/28 I had my colonoscopy. When I finally went in the room with the doctor the nurse that was medicating me had a top on with various butterflies. You know my connection with butterflies. The entire procedure was not bad at all. I advise all the ladies out there that are 50+ to have this procedure done. It is what we don't know that can hurt us.

I have been great lately. It seems my spirits are always high. I still have my conversations with John daily. I no longer have anger. I am thankful for the time that I had with my husband. I find the main thing that gets me sad is all the suffering he had to do. I find that very unfair because he was truly a wonderful man, husband, father and best buddy. I still feel him close to me with his spirit. I am so looking forward to seeing John Edwards (medium) on 10/10. If nothing else it should prove to be a very interesting evening.

God Bless All............

Dorothy

[grannyc]

Dear Guest,

My heart breaks for you and I pray these days will ease-up.

They are by far the worst days one can live. Sometimes we just have to take a moment at a time. There are no words to help you, other than you are not alone. We have all been there and understand the DEEPNESS of your loss and sorrow. Be good to yourself and hang in there!

My care and thoughts to you,

GrannyC

[rodless]

Hi Diane, I am sorry you had to find this board. I remember how devastated I was right after my husband died... no one understands it except the others who have been through it. You will find support and comfort here. Some of us who are further along in the grief journey still empathize and try to help as best we can. It's a rough road. Take care. Mary Jo

[grannyc]

Computermemaw2

I have just resent an e-mail to you, marking the Subject line "Beyond Indigo-GrannyC" hope you get this one. You may get it twice, since the first one my server told me in error it did not go. SO, I sent it a second time.

(((Hope everyone on here has as good a weekend as possible)))

GrannyCheryl

[crushedheart]

Oh Diane...We all know what you're feeling ..I'm so sorry you are walking this new life road..it's been a little over 2 months for me ..I'm still numb ..in pain ..scared...all the ugly stuff that goes with one losing their soul mate..The Folks on here are wonderful Diane...They've helped me keep my sanity when I had no one to turn to that understood...sometimes I just sit here and read unable to type and see though the tears...other times I vent a lot ...Take Care Diane...if we can help you.. we're all right here for you ..I'm so thankful I found this place...Hugssssssssss you all

[armaiti]

Dianne, I lost my beloved partner 14 months ago. It was sudden too, and unexpected. You can only live one second or minute at a time. And only you know what is the right way for you to grieve.

What I have learned is this - don't let anyone else tell you what to do, or how to do it! I had people raising hell with me because I didn't put a regular obituary in the paper, or because I was waiting to do his Celebration of Life until two months after his passing. Or telling me that I should be packing up all his clothes and giving them away. I kept his clothes hanging in my closet for months, and it made me feel comfortable. I set up an ancestor altar with his picture and his ashes. I did things really differently than a lot of people. Our close friend Jamila, another Sufi and also a follower of Native ways as she is Lakota, helped me dress him and perform ceremony before his cremation. These are different things than a lot of people do, but for me it was the right way to do it. She also repeated to me, "just remember, baby steps." Sometimes it's hard enough just to put one foot in front of the other, or even to take another breath, to try to sleep or eat or do anything. Take time for yourself, and be gentle with yourself. We are here for on this board.

Blessings,

Anna

[armaiti]

PS, Diane, sorry I mispelle your name, my keyboard stuck.

Anna

[naz496]

dear guest,

I am soooo sorry for your loss and Im sorry you have had to find us, but glad you have. This board has been literally a life saver especially at nights.

Hugs to everyone

naz

[grannyc]

((HI All)) Well, next Monday would've been my husbands 59th birthday. I keep telling myself just let go of it, its just another day. But, I guess its not that easy. Our youngest grand-daughter shared the same birth date, so I have to be festive on her behalf (Somewhat) Last year, my 3 kids, their spouses, the grandkids and I went out to his grave, together The grandkids had written Tim notes. We tied them to blue (his favorite color) helium balloons and they let there note go to him. Then we went out to eat at my grand-daughters restaurant of choice, seeing it was her birthdate, also. This year, I'd almost like to go to his grave alone, I'm not sure why.

I have never been a cemetary visitor, But, the loss of my other half has changed that for me, for now anyway.

Well, I guess this is just becoming a blah blah blah and going nowhere.

The best to all of ((You))

GrannyCheryl