I Miss Him So...

[airymoon]

April    have you left on your trip yet and how is it going. Youre right about the single mom not understanding i do have a small support system but not with things like working on the house or physical labors. Even single moms whether because of divorce or choice dont get it. Mostly because they chose to be single or if they didnt choose it than they had some time to prepare. Lately kurt death is so vivid while memories of us are not. The pain i felt and the emptiness right after he died are coming back and i dont want to relive them but they feel like they are always there just waiting to sneak out. I am amazed that i survived them the first time. That any of us did. and those of us that had even more laid on our shoulders are amazing women ( you know who you are). I thank god for this board and all of you.\

Becky

[Error username not found]

becky.. i know exactly what you mean. i wonder what thats all about anyway.

[aprilmoonflower]

Becky- I am delayed a bit yet again. but will be leaving next week FINALLY! (if anyone beleives that.lol) I didn't realize how much driving across country would entail with 2 kiddies. (and my house, animals.etc) we will likely be staying until Jan though!

one of my goats was attacked and killed by our dogs. sooo, I had to put our dogs to sleep as well (they were snapping at my kids too) so that was very sad for me..also had  get rid of the remaining goat, ducks, puppies,etc. no more animals here and I am sooo sad! I also have had shingles for the last month and had to refinance my car as my ins was cancelled and the car was in D's name. My house ins. was also cancelled due to the same reason and it took over 6 weeks for the title of the car to get here. I still have not started probate and had a chat with the lawyer too but will likely do it when I get back. (he told me to wait as long as possible due to some debts D had). I have been working lately trying to get my writing career more organized. I got a query bite for MOTHERING magazine (on the topic of Breastfeeding through Grief no less!) as well as some other stuff going on.

anyway that's the mess of my life from the last month. oh and my son cut his hair twice. once with scissors the other with neck trimmers. (ie; he shaved bald spots in the back of his head) and my daughter picked up a mild case of chicken pox from my shingles (We both are just dying of allergies here lately)

[missyouhoney811]

Mary Jo, you are right we do still need each other..............can't find anyone better to share the pain with when grief strikes.  Last week was a nightmare for me.  Everything came back as if it just happened. I managed through the week by drinking quite a bit of wine.  Also, my son and Vanessa were around.........which helps me out if I am willing to accept their concern.  Lately I have been a BITCH out of control.  I find myself taking it out on the cat and the kittens. I must find a home for all of them hopefully within the next three weeks.  I want nothing with needs so I have proved to myself that having the cats or any other animal in my house is not in my plan for living.  This will sound selfish I miss not being able just picking up and going. 

April, when you purchase a lottery ticket never think you are wasting your money.  Do not be negative......The winnings have to go to someone and it could be you.  So please, please, please be positive when you purchase your tickets.  It is a BIG jackpot this week would be nice if someone we knew would win. 

Blessings,

Dorothy 

[armaiti]

Dorothy, I've got my ticket!  And here in Oregon, proceeds from Powerball actually went into creating a new parklands west of Portland, so I can always feel like I'm giving to a good cause!  And I'm sorry your week was so hard.

Mary Jo, I know I am so grateful for you all.  It seems sometimes like I have had a it a lot easier than the rest of you, but I still need that support from folks who understand what we've gone through. 

Becky, I'm so sorry things are so hard for you!  I wish I could win the lottery and help everyone on here monetarily who needs it!  I am keeping you in my heart and prayers.

I'm recovering from an intense day of dental work yesterday, but my mouth isn't feeling too sore, which is good.  I feel a bit drug-hungover from the painkillers and the novocaine and stuff, but other than that I have a shiny new tooth (well, a temporary until the permanent one comes!).  I like that my dentist is a woman (I think Ishaq really liked going because she's a cute blond), and all her assistants are women and they are all very kind and gentle. 

We got the news that a friend of ours from the Sufi community passed yesterday, yet in his case I find it hard to be sad...he has been blind and in wheelchair, hardly able to move for years.  He always came to Sufi camp and we had helpers come for him so he could be there.  He loved to sing old standards and rock and roll with Ishaq playing guitar for him.  It hit him hard when Ishaq passed.  Now he can sing and dance and see again, I'm sure.  Another friend says she guessed now he knows she's not a tall blond (she's short and dark).  He didn't have any family living near that we knew of; the Sufi community was his family.  I had a strong feeling when I saw him this year that it might be his last year with us...he looked almost translucent in a way.  Then I remembered how several of my friends remembered having those thoughts about Ishaq just a couple of weeks before he crossed over.  It's interesting, I've been having quite a few dreams with Ishaq in them, and last night a visit from Serena, my friend who passed in June of this year.  I think when someone you know passes, the veil gets thin between the worlds.  Serena looked very happy and beautiful, and she was reading newspapers in Hindi, which I don't think she could read in life, but I guess she can now!

I hope everyone has a peaceful day.

[laquinn]

Hi everyone. The past few weeks have been so hard for me. My grandson that I told you about is still with us they have him on adavan to make him comfortable and it seems to be helping for now. I am still going throug the what was I doing this time last year. And it is so hard to belive that it is almost a year that he has been gone.

I hope that everyone is doing ok and I am gonna get my lottery ticket tonight. Hopefully one of us will win, that would be nice and then we can all get together someplace warm.

Lela 

[mishknit]

i love you all and am thinking of you as always...

but my real question is...

how do i get a powerball ticket? lol

i live in california, we don't have it here....but maybe someone could play a buck for me???

i could give ypu my numbers

peace,

michele

[aprilmoonflower]

www.buylottoonline.com

[aprilmoonflower]

tomorrow would have been D and I's 6th wedding anniversary. so now he's been dead longer than we were married. (he died a month before our 3rd anniversary) it really sucks. also to know what a lie it all was and how stupid I am! I really have no one to talk to about it either except you guys as no one gets it AT ALL. I just see their eyes glaze over or they think I should be "over" it all. it totally sucks. I wish I never met him! I am just really confused. He did alot of sweet and loving things for me up until his death and then I find out from everyone else what a liar he is and what a horrible wife I was. oh and even best yet blamed for his death. :X I just feel constantly dumped on and wonder if I'll ever get past it? why do I set myself up ime and again to be used? I am so ready to be done with it..how do I make myself forget? I am trying to cut all ties (including thinking about moving) but it's slow going. what do I do in the meantime?

ok well I'm leaving in a few days (finallly!) but am going to have a shitty week until I do. (his bday is also tues) I really am starting to despise dates and time.

I have been sick for 3 days too to top it all off. and annoyed as all hell at the world and basically every one I know right now. ugh!

[missque]

so im here and still kickin- April I just read now ur post on Sep 4th asking where i was... really you could just look me up on facebook- im ALWAYS on line there lol.... things have been alright i guess i just haven't felt the need to visit this site lately- perhaps its for the best.. i have noticed that since i moved away from my old school (and wher i met jer/ where his fam is/ where he died) things have been a lot different. I guess it was for the best that i came to a different school for teachers college because i feel like i have been able to move forward a bit...as well after my friends wedding (you might remember me talking about it in aug- it wa also jer;s best friend) i had a HUGE break down and since then i've felt a sense of relief kinda...prior to that i hadn't really had that moment in front of someone else and i guess it kinda was releving,,, however here i am today- writing.. ive been having a bad day its the first time in a while i've even noticed the day - jer would call it our month-a-versery lol it only means to me that next month would have been our 2 year... maybe i think im moving forward but really im not- things have been so crazy at school i cant even fit in a nights sleep let alond dinner some days = it has reaked havvic on my skin (break outs like i was 14 again) im  so busy i dont even get a chance to sit down and think about things... today im baby sitting Ethan (jer's god-son) and i guess it just gave me the moment to think about things and really miss jeremy... to catch you all up - i had Surgery on Monday 15th turns out I have Endometriosis (though myself and some other ppl kinda figured for a while) so i was off all week from school recovering and also giving me ample time to lay in bed and think all day. so now im laying on my friends couch crying lol.. i have a big art project due for my art class so i decided to scrap book since its the best crafty thing i can do and i think going back and looking at pics of my dad has brought back some feelings of that as well as jeremy.. i just really miss him a lot lately

[airymoon]

april D ws what he was. I thtink its posible that he was sweet with you because that was the person he wanted to be and you brought it out in him. It seems like the others in his life (family) were not the best influence and contributed to his down slide. I know you feel lied to and betrayed and you were. But maybe being with you brought out the man he could be and he didnt want you to know the man he was trying to get away from being. I dont know  I just cant believe he could fake it for 3 years. You have 2 beautiful kids so something good did come from your relationship with him and everything that you have went through has made you stronger and smarter.

Miss I think we will always miss our loved ones. Im glad you've had more good days than badtry to hold on to that

becky

[aprilmoonflower]

thanks Becky. I guess the reality is that it really doesn't matter anymore. I just need to get past it all and move on!!! but man it's so hard!

I am going to be spreading his ashes Tues (would have been his 36th bday) as the reef thing isn't working out and I just can't fathom it at this point anyway considering the circumstances.. so just one more final goodbye..

Melissa- I hope you heal quickly. I am so glad to hear it is doing you some good being away at school! that is so wonderful! I know it's tough when those waves come crashing down. just hang in there!

[airymoon]

April how did it go yesterday? I ho[pe everything went as well as can be expected

We started a new subject in my biology class yesterday. we will be studying the heart and we will see a video of a healthy heart and one after a heart attack and we talked about what happens during a heart attack and what the victim goes through pain and stress wise. Since everything about kurt's death points to a heart attack it was horrible sitting in class hearing all of it.  I thought I could do it because I oly had 15 minutes left but when class ended i went into the bathroom and lost it. On the way home i called my best friend and told her about it and cried some more. Then I screamed and cried while i was driving for the next 15 minutes. My voice is hoarse today. 

[armaiti]

Becky, it's hard to have those things right in front of your face like that.  Everytime I heard an ambulance siren for a long time it would just pierce right through me...it would take me back to where I was standing outside the hospital waiting for the ambulance to bring him back from the river where he had his heart stop.  (Ishaq's being a blod clot, it was different than a heart attack, because he was gone before he could really feel any pain or stress). 

April, I've been thinking of you too and wondering how yesterday went.

I'm feeling pretty tired - fighting off a bug that is going around I think, I have several friends that are sick.  I'm laying low, knitting a bunch, working on my canning.  I had a good weekend in the country, very peaceful.  I was working in the garden today but it started raining...autumn is really here, and winter around the corner.   It's quiet here and lonely sometimes, but I still have no desire for anyone other than Ishaq.  I'd rather wait to be with him than deal with some other man in my life, even if it is lonely a lot of the time!  I guess I'm just getting really set in my ways.

Miss, how are you feeling?  I see posts from you and Michele and all on Facebook, I'm on there a lot too and I have a lot of friends on there as well, so that's kind of fun.  April is right about the timesucker part of it!

Hope everyone is doing ok.

Blessings,

Anna

[missque]

Anna- I'm always on facebook actually I never even log off i Just open a new internet window- feel free to msg me on there as well--- when i find myself away from this board for a while im still on facebook Just haven't felt the need to post on here in a whle intil lately things feel like they are crashing again

[missque]

My bed friend and I were talking last week and she was telling me hw she FINALLY watched the movie Ps I love you--- i've only been bugging her about it for MONTHS now lol....i was asking her what she thought of it (this is the one whos my best firned/was jers also)... she was like oh it was great the Mom I couldnt believe her.. I realized it must be what you have to deal with- people telling you to get over it etc. Her saying that to me did something to me.. I know shes always 'understood' i mean she gets the brunt of it all the good and bad days and hears it all and get its to some extent- obv. no one will understand how it feels to lose a partner until you do but i also think she gets it a bit more perhaps than most friends do because he was such a HUGE part of her and her husbands life-- but for her to tell me I realized wow thats what you have to deal with really struck something with me. like she could see it from another point of view kinda- like when i bitch about someone telling me to move on or what not... i dunno i just wanted to share that with all u i thought perhaps it might do something for someone on here- someone gets it a bit more than they might have already because of a movie... interesting eh? shes never made comments like that to me but ppl have made them to her about me and though i know she defends me i think this might have her taking them personal as well...

[mishknit]

oh becky...

i am so sorry, that must have been so hard.

tom's death was officially listed as a heart attack, but we all know (including the er people) that it was a clot, like ishaq...there was no pain, only a hard time breathing...

anyway..who cares...

i'm sorry you had to go thru that.

anna...i used to knit a lot, have so much yarn, but put it away after tom died (i always called it defensive knitting..he was a tv addict, and i'd sit and knit and we'd talk...and be together, even with the tv on!). anyway, i just picked it up again! i'm making a scarf...lol..and i was so far past that, but i barely remember stitches (and it's NOT like falling off a ahorse!) anyway..enjoying it again, a bit.

april...i hooe you get off ok...keep us posted on your adventure.

i go on facebook, but don't really "get" it...so i'm off and on and not too committed to it.

glad the movie gave your friend some perspective melissa...whatever it takes!

I spoke yesterday to a group of medical students. the grief support group i went to here, our house, has groups in training med students and clergy in dealing with death and the berearved...it was really cool. i hoope i get the chance to do it again....felt good to sort of give back, ya know

anyway,

peace,

michele

[aprilmoonflower]

Hi girls. The ash spreading went good. pretty uneventuful.. SOOOO glad that's finally over with and I can move on with my life!

Anyway, I am off early in the morning. I am actually meeting the new guy at his folks place in OH then we are off to MY folks place in NY (getting that all out of the way upfront) then to MA.  kinda weird, but cool with me too! The next week should be interesting to say the least!

I'll check in when I can!  

[aprilmoonflower]

well we made it to Joplin (MO) today..stayed in NM last night and will be in Indiana tomorrow. Will be meeting the new guy MONDAY!!! I'm so excited! I should post this on the other (dating) thread, but too lazy..

[Error username not found]

2 years. Goodnight everyone.

[lindat]

I have often stayed in Joplin, the first time when I was with my parents on a trip in the early 60s.  Terry and I stayed there a few years ago and we found the Capri motel where I stayed on that trip when I was young.   My laptop was stolen the next morning before we left Joplin.  Hope Monday is everything you have dreamed of kiddo, keep us posted. 

[lindat]

April,  Drive safe and be careful. 

Michele, I am flying to CA on October 22.  I will be there at least 2 weeks.  Let me know what day would be best for you and hopefully we can get together this time along with anyone that would like to join us.

[armaiti]

Courtney, I hope you got through today ok...I'm thinking your post means this was your two year anniversary today?

Let us all know how you are doing. 

April, glad you are on the road and doing good.  Let us know what happens Monday!

I had a really sweet dream with Ishaq last night...has had me feeling pretty good all day.  I've been doing a lot of gardening, putting in autumn color in my yard, and it's looking really nice.  Ishaq always loved to have these pretty flowers in the yard. 

Hope everyone is having a peaceful weekend...

Blessings,

Anna

[Error username not found]

Thanks Anna. It was. Yesterday. I posted when i had a couple minutes left of the day. Ill write more later. Bye.

[airymoon]

cortney  that sux im sorry but youve made it so far eventhough its not easy you are doing it. Im thinking of you and your son

becky

[mishknit]

hey courtney....

thinking of you.

year 3 is even differenter (i know.....that's not a word!)

i wish you, as always,

peace,

miche;e

[Error username not found]

thanx everyone and i know what u mean. is was a good day though. well goodnight.

[rodless]

Hi,

Had to catch up on all of you. I'm looking at a duplex for rent tonight and thinking about selling my house. I am so sick of the yard work and the neighbor who did the snow for me moved. We'll see..... whether or not I can actually give it up. It's the only place I ever lived with Rod. But maybe as my daughter said, it will give me the physical break that I need to make the emotional break and go on to the rest of my life even if I don't want to.

I have a facebook page now. My kids were stunned when I sent a friend request to them. It was pretty funny! If you want to pm me, I'll go looking for you when I have time.

Mary Jo

[mishknit]

mary jo...

good luck on your hunt.

i often think about that...selling this place, finding small, 2 bedroom condo.

no yardwork, pool.etc.

trying to stay here until my son goes to college (he's a soph this year), but don't know if i'll be able to hold out that long.

i wonder if it would make a difference too...

wonder about a lot of things.

i'm on facebook....

so is april and becky and anna and nunyo bizness (LOL)...a secret person.

if i knew how to pm, i'd do it and send you my last name...

maybe one of you others could do it..

oh, wait, don't we have a beyond indigo community?

look for that mj.

peace,

michele

[rodless]

I'm keeping my house. The duplex was nice but after looking at it I realized I'm not ready to give up my house. Will just have to grit my teeth and pay for snow removal if I can't handle it. Maybe it will be a decent winter. I hate all of this. I want my old life back!!!!

MJ

[lindat]

I also have a facebook page and I found Michele, April and Anna's page but I can't find Mary Jo.  

[mishknit]

mary jo...

you do what you need to, want to.

no hurries, no reason to speed ahead when you're not sure.

linda..i got you face book mesage but for some reson can't respond.

so...keep me in the loop about when you get here..i'll drive to you...we gotta try and make this happen.\

life always can get in the way..but lets' see if we can do it!

peace,

michele

[lindat]

Michele,  Call me so that I have your number.   I definitely want to get together.  Jim called last night and asked me to come up to San Luis Obispo to see him - I wasn't sure he would want to see me so I have been on cloud 9 all day

[eventually]

So, it's 14 months today...I can't believe it....last nite I went for a few drinks with the girls, just like 14 months ago. And was woke up by dog or mom at about the same time, I was woken up by B.   This sucks...Hope everyone else is doing as well as can be...Much love to you all.

Mishi

[lindat]

Dorothy,  I went to my first Zumba class tonight and thought of you.  It kicked my butt!!!  I have been running and walking 3 miles a day and going to Curves, so it isn't like I am still out of shape   I am going to another class tomorrow, it will be more fun when I know what I am doing.  Hope you are well and have found good homes for the animals.

April, how is the new man??? 

Hope everyone is doing okay, and finding peace....  Linda

[aprilmoonflower]

hey everyone! well I  made it here. picked the new guy up on the way and we met each others families which was kinda odd but also cool. he is absolutely amazing, the town is great (what I've experienced thus far) just kinda settling in..my kids adore him and we are getting along super fabulous, so all is really well here!

 

[laquinn]

I am coming up on the first anniaversary of Randys death on Sunday and the past 3 weeks I have relived everyday what happened this time last year and I hate every minute of it. I remember every day at the hospital and now I am remembering the last week at home. Does it get any better? I have found myself crying alot more these past weeks then I have in along time. I miss him so much.

At least I don't have to work on Sunday so I can be alone that day. I am finding myself spending alot more time at work just so I don't have to be here alone all the time. And I am finding myself getting run down, but I just don't want to be here alone!

My oldest grandson is still hanging in there he is not as alert as he once was but he is still with us. He made it to his 5th birthday.

I am hoping that it gets better soon! Lela

[airymoon]

april i am so happy for you and your kids

laquinn  it does get better but there are backslides and new challenges  hang in there and talk here often

[lindat]

April, more details please    What does your family think of him?   I am so happy for you and the kids and I hope it just gets better and better.   I will be leaving for CA in 2 weeks and will see Jim in 3 weeks, very nervous but excited.

Lela,  In January it will be 3 years for me and some days it feels like I am back where I started, but for the most part it has been much better in the last year.   Unfortunately, most of the last year I have been fighting breast cancer and that has been tough, but it also took the focus away from the grief and that has been a positive side of the battle.   My focus now is to be as healthy as I can and stay busy, but the first year I just wanted to die.   My thoughts are with you and I wish you some peace this weekend.

[armaiti]

Hi, everyone! 

Lela, the first year was the hardest for me...all those firsts.

The second year was hard too, but in a different way.  Now that I'm on the third year, I find it has gotten easier, but there is always a kind of emptiness there, where the happiness of living with Ishaq used to be. 

I will be holding you in my heart and prayers on Sunday.

Blessings,

Anna

[laquinn]

Thanks everyone this is just so hard to get through. I just never thought that I would be going through this so soon in my life we had so many plans and things we wanted to do. Maybe someday I will still do them and think of him.

April good luck with the new guy   !

Lela

[missyouhoney811]

Lindat, go into latinrhythmz.net..............I am the student of the month for October.....so far just my name is posted my bio should be up shortly.   I came a long way...........it actually gave me a rebirth.

I still have four kittens and the mother...........they are driving me crazy.  I can't wait to be alone again.  Just can't stand taking care of anything .............. call me selfish.....oh well....

Big News!  My son got engaged while on vacation in Spain.  As a matter of fact Vanessa's parents are coming in from Puerto Rico this evening..So we will be celebrating.  John Robert's birthday is on Saturday, 10/11 he will be 27.  The wedding will take place in Puerto Rico but not until 4/10.  Due to the temperatures many of the people from USA could not handle the summer weather.  This should be the best time of year for the wedding. 

That is it for me for now..................Linda, continue Zumba...........Before I go we are dancing on 10/18 for breast cancer............it will be 1 1/2 hours with a ten dollar donation that will go to breast cancer research.

Running to Zumba.

10/11 will also be 26 months for my John.

Prayers and Blessings,

Dorothy

[rodless]

27 months yesterday... I swore I'd stop counting the months after 2 years but as each 7th rolls around, I automatically do it.

Lela, hang in there. Those anniversary dates are bad but sometimes anticipation is worse than the actual day. I agree with Anna. The second year was hard in a different way from the first and the third one just seems empty. I am reading a book called Awakening from Grief that is helping some.

April, I'm glad all is going good. You deserve it!

Zumba on Donrothy & Linda !! I wish we had it around here.

So how is everyone else??

Mary Jo

[missyouhoney811]

Just checked.........my bio is up for Zumba........if you want to see before and after picture go to latinrhythmz.net.....click on about us ...... click on feature

Talk to you later.  Its a busy, crazy day here.

Blessings,

Dorothy

[lindat]

Dorothy, your before and after photos are amazing!!!   Great job!  I am looking forward to a similar outcome in just a few months.  I am now walking and running 3 miles a day to and from Curves - 6 days a week.  I am doing Zumba 1 day a week, but hope to add more days after my trip to CA.  In January, I will be starting college for an associates degree in website design.  Life is finally better   I will be 62 on Nov. 22nd - the day after my one year anniversary of my breast cancer diagnosis. 

Just a reminder ladies....  Oct. is breast cancer awareness month and most of the people that I have met during my treatment, found it through self examination - as did I.   80% have NO family history - I am the first in my family to have any kind of cancer.  

Peace to you all....

[armaiti]

Dorothy, great picture!  And Linda, good for you too!

I guess I spend a lot more time on Facebook now, with a lot of you, so I'm not over here as often.  My exercise has mainly been working in the garden, and there is a lot to do.  My hands get so stiff sometimes that it is hard to work the next day, so I started sitting with a hot water bottle on them at night while I'm watching a movie.  

I've been feeling pretty low lately, physically.  Just tired a lot and a ton of people around me have been really sick, so I feel lucky that I seem to keep fighting stuff off.   I miss Ishaq so much, and I don't feel much like creating art right now...just a down time, I guess.  His twins birthdays are coming up early November.    And then the holidays and all.  Just feeling blah.  Another season of celebrations without him here and that just sucks. 

Anyway, sorry to be a downer, but that's where I'm at right now!

Blessings,

Anna

[missque]

okay so im here still... something happened today while i was teaching today with my fellow teacher candidates (its what they call ppl in teachers college - not quite teachers but candidates to become) anyways i have to go to class and i dont wanna go with big red eyes but its bugging me so much ill cry lol... so thats all for now- im headed back home for the holiday weekend (happy thanksgiving to my canadian's) and ill write when i get home about it...

love u all

[missque]

so before I start my rant....Dorthy- congrats on the engagement thats so exciting!!!

alright so in my arts class we have to do artsy projects (music, visual, dramatic etc.)nd present it to the class and say how we might use it in a classroom with primary students.im scrapbooking because i enjoy it and im good at it... theres another girl whos not in my arts class but we are at the same school teaching so i offered to bring her one of mine to look at because shes never done it before - it was the one i had of Jer and myself as its theo nly one i had at school... so theres 5 of us students teachers in total at this school and one of the others asked to look at it- i was doin work and stuff and she brings it backcrying and hugging me... anyways then the other girls were like oh we were gonna sk to look at it but i dunno now- im like u can it doesnt bother me so sure enough it goes through the other girls and again they are crying and hugging me - mind you after all this we all still have to teach another lesson... i just found the whole situation to really irrate and frustrte me i guess i never realized that other people looking at my book would get upset - but like i felt bad about making them upset and like i was annoyed that they were coming up and hugging me and stuff i just wanted to leave right then they made me feel so uncomfortable and like werid i dunno ih ate the "oh im so sorry let me hug you now" thing

my 2 year anniv is coming up in 10 days its hard to believe that 2 years ago jeremy and i first met and would have been celebrating our month-a-versy (as jer called it)

[loosingeddie]

aprilmoonflower do you remeber me???? it has been a long time since i was on here! just had to say hello!!!! still plugging along it has been 3 years and a month now...i have survived but wow! what a journey.... send me a line sometime will get on more! take care!!!!

[eventually]

To My Best Friend

I kept my promise, to love, honor, and share. I kept my promise that to you that I would always there Until death do we part, that is what they say. Oh my love why did you leave me that day? I wasn't ready for you to say goodbye, as I look into the heavens with tears in my eyes, I wasn't ready for you to die. My best friend why did you leave and not say goodbye? With so many questions and no answers as to why. I would have gone with you, however God knows best and took you home to give you rest. I was not ready, no not just yet, With only one regret that I didn't tell you one last time I love you, and forever you will be mine. My best friend this you must know, and never forget. I will see you again when God calls my name and say's it is time to go home and be with your best friend once again.

By Diana Johnson

I read this tonight and just thoughIt I would share it.. I don't know if it's been posted on here or not.  I also noticed alot of you are on facebook now...feel free to friend me if you want my email is mishirae13@hotmail.com.  Hope everyone is doing well and  having a good weekend.

Blessings to all,

Mishi