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OldGeek

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[user=19509]maamgrey[/user] wrote:

Eventually,

What kind of puppy?  How old?  Boy or girl?  Name?

Two weeks ago, five weeks after Mike died, I adopted a Jack Russell named Scout who's a year old.  Just a fw days before he died Mike said he wanted one.  I felt like I had to do it for him and it was a way of honoring him.  I have 3 other dogs in the house and Scout makes 4.  He's adorable and very sweet, but 2 of my dogs are not liking him at all.  I hope more time will get them used to each other.

I think getting a puppy was a great idea.  Not only does it keep you busy, but it's also being able to start with a new life.  It's no substitute but it helps.

Sue

maamgrey,  I have a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, Her name is Sassy Brat.  Middle name brat cause B always called me that.  And I would always disagree and call him that.....sigh.....good time.  I wish he could call me that again.  Any how she is almost 7 months old.  

I was listening to the radio thinking of B and  "If Tomorrow Never Comes" by Garth Brooks came on the radio.  Lately, alot of sad songs have been coming on the radio, which ever station it's on.  Is this weird, am I losing my mind.  Cause part of me think B is trying to let me know he's still there......

I found out today that one of my friends is pregnant, and I couldn't help but envy her.  I wish I was able to have a child with B. I always wanted kids but now I have no desire to have kids or ever get married.  I'm only 28 and everyone things I will change my mind, but at the moment I don't.  One of our friends asked B's brother if he could possibly have a gift he gave to B awhile ago.  And for some reason I got jealous and mad and didn't wand D to give it to him.  I know me thinking is selfish and I have no say in it, as it wasn't me to make the decision.  But I just want to hord everything and let it go away.  Heck I can't even go through the boxes I have now without crying.  I won't bring myself to look at the letters we wrote each other.  I know I will sink down into a dark place, and I don't know if I will be able to get out of it.  Does anyone feel this way?????  I want to know what I did in a past life or whatever, that was so horrible to have this happen to me.  I always thought I was a nice person.  None of should have to be going through this HELL.!!!  I am so thankful to find this place.  Thank you all for letting me vent.  I wish none of us were part of this club.   But thankful you are all here.  Thanks for letting me ramble.  You are all in my prayers.

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aprilmoonflower

puppies and kitties are great! I had a 2 week old when DH died. but I did get a puppy a year ago! (when my baby became mobile! she's 2.5yo now) something about babies (wether human or animal) really lifts the spirits!

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im so forgetfull ill take my meds for a week and then miss it for 2...doesnt help... but im just sad and in a bad funk..ordered my school ring today and i just couldnt help but think he wouldnt get one and all he wantd to do ws graduate

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missyouhoney811

I went to my specialist today and he repositioned the crystals in my inner ear.  I feel so much better.  I have to sit and sleep in a reclining chair for the next 24 hours.  No movement looking down, up, left or right.  So I will be doing no posting.  I am so happy my vertigo is on its way out.  (Benign paroxysmal positional vertigo) The wild ride has not been fun.  A terrible drunk without drinking.

Blessings,

Dorothy

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Dorothy, take care - that's what I had a couple of months ago.  It sure isn't any fun!

But it does go away which is good.

Miss, I agree with April, do something nice for yourself...

April - how's the oven situation coming?

And everyone else, hope you are doing ok...

Blessings,

Anna

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aprilmoonflower

Anna- well my house is almost back to normal. I haven't gotten a new stove yet. (waiting for tax return to come back) I have been using the crockpot/toaster oven/microwave for now. my kids don't care. they prefer to eat burittoes, soups and homemade pizza bagels.lol. I made spagetti in the crockpot tonight it didn't come out so great though.oops. the kids fed it to our ducks.lol.

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angelmissing

[align=left][user=18434]missque[/user] wrote:

im so forgetfull ill take my meds for a week and then miss it for 2...doesnt help... but im just sad and in a bad funk..ordered my school ring today and i just couldnt help but think he wouldnt get one and all he wantd to do ws graduate
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Missque,

You are in my prayers! My heart goes out to you & the others on this site, because I know how bad a shattered heart feels... I pray God will give you strength too.

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Baca- I had BAD cravings today and decided to follow them lol. I had Poutine- its a Canadian thing (sounds grose but soooooo good!!) Fries then chese and then gravey! made me happy even if it gave me 10 lbs on my bum! lol....

i took sleeping pills lastnight and slept from 730pm-830am the best and longest sleep ive ever had. AND i even remembered my anxiety pills today lol

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Hi all, I'm leaving shortly to go to my kids for Easter weekend. They live about 150 miles away and 40 miles apart. I'm looking forward to getting out of town and just hanging around with them. It's starting to look like spring and my attitude is improving. Could finally pull the Christmas arrangement out of the ground at Rod's grave and replace it with daffodils. That made me feel better. Hope all have a pleasant weekend! Mary Jo

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Miss, it doesn't sound any stranger than the Irish Nachos I had at a pub last week (Fries, then cheese, then sour cream and ale sauce)!  Sometimes you just need to eat what ever you want when you are feeling down! 

Mary Jo, have a great time with your kids for Easter. 

I'm doing a Afghani-Kurdish-Persian medley of folkdance tonight at our Middle Eastern Dance Guild, in celebration of Newrooz, Persian New Year.  I'm pretty nervous, I've more used to being a singer and musician, or dancing with others in line dances, but not out there all by myself!  It's a very forgiving bunch, and I have a lovely Afghani costume, so hopefully it will go ok and I won't trip over the veil and break my neck...

How is everyone else doing?  Linda, how are you feeling?  And Michele and everyone?  I have to admit there are so many threads now on the topic that I get a bit lost, but I think it works out well for those who are newer to be able to start their own threads and not get lost in the older ones, or feel overwhelmed by the amount of posts....

Blessings,

Anna

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aprilmoonflower

mmm irish nachos and poutine! (And I DO know what poutine is but I am veg now since I had it last living back east!) good thing my stove s broke! LOL. I want to make veg gravy now!

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Hi Anna, 

I am doing better.  I am trying to enjoy the time we have left together without worrying about how it will be after he leaves.  No small task, but to do otherwise would be self defeating.  

Second day of spring and we are expecting snow.  I will be so glad when the weather gets warmer.  

I hope we all have a peaceful Easter weekend.

Linda

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missyouhoney811

Happy Easter to everyone.  I am still a bit out of it but hopefully I'll be 100% soon.  I picked up my ham and turkey breast yesterday at Honey Baked Ham.  Today I went to the grocery store and picked up the rest of my items.  I feel like cooking so I plan on having a small feast for John Robert and Vanessa. I am perfectly happy with my diet food but I just feel like doing something to make others happy.  I actually have my eggs on later I will be dying them.  Later I guess I'll go candy shopping and make a Easter Basket for John Robert.  I tried giving the job to Vanessa but he said I still hold the title for putting the basket together.  I also plan on getting a yellow top at Macy's (my slacks fit).  Knock at the door.........talk to you later.

Blessings,

Dorothy

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Today I am at 23 weeks without Randy. I have had a few bad days the past couple of weeks. I am not sure why, no matter what I am trying to do nothing turns out like it should and then I get upset and start crying. I have tried to make things eaiser on me but that just isn't happening. I went to the cematary Monday to put out flowers and was so upset when I got there. There were flowers from his sisters out there I so wanted to take them and throw them away but I didn't. But when my son went out there after work they were gone, I have no clue what happened to them he just kept asking me are you sure they were there and I told him yes they were there when I left.

I thought by now with the move and all I might be able to move just alittle bit more but I still just get up go to work and come home and on my days off I just stay home. Just not sure what to do anymore. I was at work yeterday and the lawyers office called and when I hung up all I could do was cry tried to hide it but they knew something was wrong but they just let me cry till I was ok and could move on with the day. Why is it that whenever I am by myself all I seem to do is cry? I have tried to keep busy so that I don't sit around thinking of different things but sometimes it just dosen't help.

Well I hope you all will try to have a good weekend I have to go back and work a double tonight but have a good easter and I will continue to keep you all in my prayers.

Lela

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Poutine is actually french- it started in Quebec/Montreal wayyyyy back in the day so we say it with a bit of a french name... but still good i want it again lol- those nacho's sound really good! Just blame the french for the crazy but AMAZING foods

i cant stop crying tonight.... and i weight'd my self and that didnt help the situation- I've gained about 30 lbs since Jeremy died i know im an emotional eater but i never thought that bad...just when i feel like im doing alright and getting through it its like all the walls come crashing down - the 1 year anniv. is slowly creaping up on me and i hate it it kills me that the year has gone by so fast i feel like it was just yesterday i saw him...  im home for easter which doesnt really help because people can hear me at night doing stuff i like being sad in my apt cuz i can cry or whatever and no that no one can hear me

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It's 6 am here and I have a horrible head cold.  I'm really bummed, because there is a wonderful concert that I was going to tonight with a bunch of my friends and now I'm too sick to go...I HATE being sick without Ishaq here.  At least I have my kitties to snuggle with...my orange cat always reaches out and pats my face with his paw when he knows I'm not feeling good.

Anyway, I hope you all have a good Easter, Purim, Spring Equinox or whatever holiday you celebrate at this time of renewal.   We also celebrating Norooz, Persian New Year, here, which is about reaffirming life.  I danced for the first time at the Middle Eastern Dance Guild and it went really well.  I'm glad I didn't get sick until the day after, anyway!

I'm gonna go make some Yogi Ginger Tea and go back to bed...

Blessings,

Anna

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missyouhoney811

Anna, so sorry you are not feeling well.  I hope it passes quickly. 

I just came back home from Mass..............John Robert met me at church.  The church was so beautiful with all the spring flowers and wonderful joyous music and song. The priest was great with his sermon.  I had no tears only wonderful feelings and even laughter.  The mass was offered up to all the departed souls......later today, I will visit John with flowers and release my three balloons.

I'll be meeting John Robert and Vanessa for a 1:00 PM Brunch.  Maybe go to the movies...............I guess early evening everyone will come here to feast on the goodies I made for Easter.  God Bless all of you and enjoy and live for today. I always say "Live for Today.........Hope for Tomorrow"

Prayers and Blessings,

Dorothy

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missyouhoney811

I am finally going to call it a day.  I am tired.  It was a very good and busy day.  After brunch I went to the cemetery.   I put red roses on John's grave, tied a butterfly balloon to his angel and released the three red balloons.  I also put flowers on my mother, father, aunt and uncles grave.  It was a bit chilly but the sun was so beautiful and bright.  My company left tonight around 10:30..........Goodnight............

If and when my new picture comes up it is my mother with the Easter Bunny at age 90.  I can't believe she has been gone 3 years 2/27.  Time does go by fast.

John's spirit is with me tonight................the clock is still playing music and it should have shut off at 8:00 PM.........I swear when I stay up late I truly believe he keeps me company through that clock.  I enjoy it.  Hopefully it will never stop.

Prayers and Blessings,

Dorothy

I think I am well enough to go back to Zumba tomorrow......bye

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Well, I was trying to call it a day too, 'cause I'm still sick, but a friend just called and woke me up to see how I'm doing...I appreciate the sentiment, but now I'm awake!

By the way, here's a picture of me in my Afghani costume for performing Friday night.  I was also modeling a new purse and pair of Manolos for the gals on the Purse Forum - I know Michele said she wanted to see me in Manolos so here's a picture!

IMG_1130.jpg

Goodnight all....

Blessings,

Anna

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Thants, Aurora!  There's a store here that sells ethnic costumes and belly dance clothing, and she had some Afghani dresses and pants, and the jewelry I got from eBay, pretty much.  I've found a lot of my costumes here at our Goodwills too - my favorite heavily embroidered long coat/dress was from there!

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Dorothy, hope you can start Zuma again today...

I love hearing about the clock playing...I just heard from another friend the other day how Ishaq had come to him in a dream and was encouraging him about his music...

They are still with us, and always will be!

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good lord anna...

how can you walk in those shoe???? LOL!!

they are beautiful, so i guess it doesn't matter if you can walk...but did you DANCE in them???? and the bag is great too....i need internet shopping hints!

I was laid low all last week with a crappy sinus infection..so i feel your pain april. but i'm better now, thank god, and back to the grind...altho it's ;less of a grind this week since my son is off school. i only have to be his personal chauffeur, but don't have to get up at 6am to get him out of the door. thos that's bad, since i don;'t get to the gym if i don't get up, and i couldn't go last week cuz i was sick.....i want dorothy's zumba...that sounds like fun! and, lord knows, i need some fun.

i was talking to a friend about dating, and he was asking me what i wanted. and i realize, that all i really want is to have someone to see a movie with, to talk to over dinner....i know i have my girlfriendsa for that, but it is different with a guy, just because they are different..you know. anyway...

before i met tom i wrote a list of what i wanted in a mate. i still have it. very soon..a couple months, after i wrote it..i met tom. so, time to revise the list, i think..put it out into the universe, and hope for the best.

i'm glad you're feeling better dorothy...you certainly have a lovely son and daughter-in-law...

aND mary jo..i hope you have a nice time with your kids.

i hope everyone is well...anna..are you feeling better?

peace,

michele

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ugh been a bad week or bad life of cars for that matter.... my first car i got about this time last year and totalled it after hving it for 5 days (bad accident) then i got my second car in June and its crapped out - needs a new transmission which isnt worth it so now im looking at my 3rd car in under a year.... ugh i just hate it as trivial as it seems it just seems like 1 more thing going wrong this year

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stephysteph13

missuque,

I've been reading your posts, and i wanted to tell you that im sorry you are going through so much, and maybee we could help eachother. im 18 and lost my mom alitle over a year ago, and im struggling so much w it. i read earlier that u had lost your father too besides your boyfriend and how did u get through it? is it still hard?

steph

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A good weekend...sometimes it is nice to be somewhere that holds no memories of Rod. Needed to get out of town and have something else occupy my mind for awhile. My son and girlfriend are looking at rings and I am excited. I really like her and he is going to be 31 this summer. I stayed with her and got to know her a little better. It was fun.

Oh, Michele, guys are certainly different and sometimes I think I would like one to do things with. And then I think about all the hassles of getting to know one and all the stuff that goes with it and I'm not so sure I want to go through it again. A friend wants to try a singles dance in April. Can't quite imagine dancing with anyone but Rod but it's a good band and I do love to dance. We've some a long way since 7/06 haven't we? That was when I first met you on this site. Wonder how Lisa's doing. 

Anna, I'm with Michele. Can't fathom walking let alone dancing in those shoes but they sure are neat. I kinda have a thing for purses. Love to have different ones.

Hope everyone is having a good day. Mary Jo

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aprilmoonflower

having a bad day. wrote about it on my blog. don't have the energy to rewrite!

www.xanga.com/earthymama

 

Maryjo- glad you had a good weeknd!

Michele- that is awesome! can't wait to here about who you might meet!

Anna- I love the cosutme! and the shoes! did you dance in them?

Miss-(((Hugs))) it all sucks. I know. I hope you find a good car you love!

Dorothy- glad to hear you are feeling better.

Baca- where are you girl?

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Wow, April, I read the post...31 months...I'm coming up on 20 months.  It's always tough, isn't it?  We have our good days then bam - we get hit be something again...be good to yourself today.

Michele and Dorothy, no I didn't dance in the shoes - I danced barefoot for this particular dance performance!  Some of the dancers perform in heels, though, a friend who does flamenco-bellydance fusion pieces (and she is AMAZING) wears heels to dance in.   And Michele, sorry you were sick, too!

Miss, sorry about your car and having a hard time.  Having stuff crap out on you, or break, just seems so much harder to deal with now, with our beloveds not here by our sides.

Everyone, take care,

Blessings,

Anna

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missyouhoney811

I finally went back to Zumba.  It was so tough.  I was away from class for two weeks and somehow I lost my fast movement.  So I guess I'll have to play catch up this week.  I truly do love the work out.  They have a special class/party on saturday night.  They have the original owner coming in with a drummer and we will be dancing to the beat of the drum.  I think it will be alot of fun.  Refreshments will be served it should be something special. 

Blessings,

Dorothy

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Dorothy, that sounds like fun!  I want to get back into dancing more too...I haven't been to any folk dance nights since Ishaq passed.   A girlfriend of mine went Contra dancing Saturday and had a blast; I may try that too.  She said it was pretty aerobic!

I tried to look up Zumba for Eugene, Oregon and couldn't find anything.  Does your teacher have a list or a contact that you could email me to find out if there's Zumba in my area?  It sounds like a lot of fun.  My email is ishaqanna@earthlink.net

Thanks!

Anna

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missyouhoney811

[align=left]Anna, I'll check tomorrow on classes in your area.  It is fun and I enjoy it so much.  I think I will also join Arthur Murray's for ballroom dancing.  Whatever type of dancing you do it is great for your heart and it also does the body good.  With the ballroom dancing they have parties once a month.  That way I'll be able to meet other people. Not looking for anyone but it sure would be nice to go to dinner and have conversation with someone new. 

Blessings,

Dorothy

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hey everybody.. and april..here i am!! lol..

honestly ive been feeling like **** lately..and april.. your blog is EXACTLY how i feel. i remember the day i found out.. i said i dont want another day to go by because today i can say i saw him yesterday. this fucking suckkkss!! i want him soo bad i just dont know what to do anymore. im just lost.

and anna.. did u see i wrote about the psychic you suggested? i deleted it now..but if u didnt read it ill be happy to tell you again.

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i havent been posting for awhile and i had a lot of reading to do! I was laid up for a few days with an infected wisdom tooth. I have to have all four removed and i have no insurance so it will have to wait until i get 2,000 to pay for it. Now I have a cold or something and it is really making me feel crappy.

 All this talk about dating- wow- we have come a long way. I tried the internet and friends did match making but i really feel like i need to just meet someone to date them not set it up.I have been dating someone i've known for ever he is going through a divorce so nothing serious but it is kinda fun to go out with a male again and it is different than going out with my girlfriends.

Miss, hang in there if you have feelings for jer's friend maybe you should just tell him. The worst that could happen is he wouldn't return the feelings but at least it would be out in the open y'know, and maybe that would relieve some of your stress.

April sorry about your oven. When we first built our house we didn't have the kitchen finished when we moved in. iIwent 6 months without a stove. You can do a lot in a crock pot and even more in an electric skillet. I made spaghetti and even baked cookies and bread in the skillet. It takes some time to figure out the time and temp for different things but once you do that it works great.

We leave this friday for florida and then the bahamas i cant wait to take my kids there again. It will be different without Kurt though and I wish my son was going but he sont becaause my friend is. ughh

becky

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Courtney, I did see the post about my friend the psychic.  I'm glad you feel you got something positive out of the experience.  She's been a great friend to me and we often talk about Ishaq, and he was her friend too, so he often has visited her as well as me.  And I'm sorry you are having a hard time too.

Becky, so sorry about your wisdom teeth.  I had to have my upper ones out a number of years ago; it wasn't fun. 

I still am not into dating.  I'm into doing stuff more on my own though...I think I'm going to try and take my inflatable kayak out more this summer and maybe even do some of the things Ishaq and I said we were going to do but never got around to, like horseback riding on the Oregon Coast.  I know he'll be with me.

Blessings,

Anna

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april...

that was a very poignant letter to darrin, and i really enjoyed the poem and the words of the dalia lama....i may have to look at that etsy..it's sort of like my space? i'm going to do a facebook site...but this is cool.

darn anna...i pictured you dancing in those shoes! But...while you may not do traditional dancing in them, i'm sure you do dance in them..how could you not??

have fun becky...what a great trip, even without your older son...he'll miss out, and that's his choice.

glad you had a good weekend maryjo.. achange of pace is often so good for us.

peace,

michele

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aprilmoonflower

no Etsy is more like Ebay (except no bidding) you can just buy stuff handmade by independant artists. Everything from fine art to soap and fudge,etc! Fun place to shop! You will need to likely set up a PayPAl account first though as most sellers use that for payments.

 

Thanks for the thoughts on the letters everyone. There are many more. Not sure how many I will write but i am sure I'll know when I'm done! Hoping my kids can know their Dad a little through them.

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aprilmoonflower

Becky- have fun on your trip! I need my wisdom tooth pulled too! ackk! I just have to go to Mexico to do it one of these days. (it's $120) Need to get the passport still! as for the stove issue I need an electric skillet. or something. good idea!

 

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Becky, I forgot to say have fun!  I hope you have a wonderful trip.

So this morning I've already had to clean up cat barf, and take apart the kitchen sink plumbing to clear a clog - how does that much hair end up in the kitchen sink?  I don't wash my hair in it? - yet, somehow, I still feel pretty good today.  My head is a bit clearer; I've got a friend coming over tonight to watch "The Kite Runner" on DVD.  We've got a family reunion coming up with Ishaq's dad & his wife; Ishaq's sister and her husband, his little sister, and his kids - including the soon-to-be born grandbaby girl.  Friday it will be 20 months.  I'll be leading Sufi zikr that night, doing many melodies of Ishaq's, that he led for over 30 years.  Today, at least, I feel postive.  Or at least right now I feel positive. 

And Michele, yes, I do dance in those shoes!  But I am practicing a gypsy folk dance in heels - we'll see how it goes!  I'll post another picture of that costume if and when it comes together!  I do love my heels and purses.  I have to admit that I have used "shopping therapy" quite a bit after Ishaq passed.

Blessings,

Anna

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missyouhoney811

Anna, I use to say as long as I have my shoes, purse, earrings and panty hose on I was set to go..........lol

My spirits are very HIGH today. 

I finally had the cable man come out and exchange the boxes.  John never wanted to miss his programs so we had DVR boxes on all the TV's.  Since I am not a big TV viewer nor do I record upcoming programs I found it to be a waste (after two years). I have four televisions so I had him take out three of the DVR's.  Thats Vegas gambling money......lol

Tonight is Zumba Pump......dancing and lifting weights.  I feel the pain....

Blessings,

Dorothy

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April, I just read your letter to Darren and totally relate. We bop along pretty well for awhile and then something hits and boom, back to square one. Today is like that for me...gloomy with snow predicted. That's enough to send me back into a funk but I'm fighting it. Spring has to come one of these days!! MJ

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