I Miss Him So...

[mishknit]

Linda....

god, like anna and mary jo said...wish we lived closer, i'd make you soup and tyell you how hair is such a nuisance anyway....i'm thinking about you a lot.

it's rainy here tonite...lovely. my son and i are making a fire and watching 'across the universe"...just got it from netflix. I cannot relate to the snow, diffing out..i have always lived here in ca, and am grateful. the couple of winter weeks i spent in minnesota with tom were awful. i really feel for all of you dealing with it. and i know...no seasons here all that, but it's what i know, just like the snow and ice.

i really liked eat,pray,love....read it quite a while ago, and remember wishing is was unencunbered and had money to just go away for a year....lol...a fantasy, but a good one. and she is a good writer..i found myself laughing right out loud several times. I knwo tou'll enjoy it anna, and i recommend it mary jo.

I'm surprised you haven't read it...i picture you reading everything just as it comes out! that's a good fantasy too, i guess.

i finished a refi on my house today..weird. i did so much after tom died because i had to...it was rote and necessary.

this feels like my new life. very interesting, and good, i think.

anyway, the fire and the movie are ready...

peace,

michele

[aprilmoonflower]

(((hugs baca))) I saw your 2nd post before you deleted!

 

I am having some crappy days here too..DH will be gone for 30 months on Monday at around 1:30am. ugh. I wish I could just forget about anniversaries and such. who the hell wants to remember someone dying every month? I really hope I can stop counting the months, the days the years at some point. I am sick to death of it! (no pun intended!)

 

I am also sick of everyones nose in my business!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[missque]

been having a bad day filled with anxiety attacks and such and a bad night i miss jer...

[lindat]

Thank you all for your messages.   It really isn't so bad, I seem to be among the living again.   The chemo doesn't seem to be affecting me at all, mostly it is the Neulasta shot and it is necessary.   In reality, I have been sick for about 4 or 5 days only on the week that I get the shot and then I am fine the other 2 weeks until I get the shot again.   Much better than what I expected in the beginning.  I had heard horror stories about chemo and it has turned out not to be that bad in my case - thank goodness.   Terry's dad died in 1991 after refusing to do chemo any longer.  He said they could only promise him 6 more months and he didn't want 6 more months of wishing he was dead.   I am lucky in many ways, I just have to remember that I am:)

Is anyone reading the Oprah book?  I started it, but don't quite get what the big deal is about. 

It is cold and snowy - I hate snow.  I never would have guessed that I would ever be in MI again in the winter.  EVER.  I am lucky to have a sister that wants me and cares deeply about me, so I should be grateful that I am here with her.  I hate snow.

I love all you guys and wish you peace.....

[airymoon]

Hi everyone

Linda im thinking of you everyday and hoping you get the strength you need to get through this the best you can.

April good luck with the homeschool guy and have fun it doesnt have to be any more than you want it to be and you can tke as long as you need to figure out just what it is you want it to be.

I have started seeing someone at first just as friends but now its becoming more than that and im not sure how i feel exactly. I dont know if i will ever know how ill feel about dating someone else. Right now as I write this he and my 15 year old are playing video games and my daughter and his daughter are playing a game and im just watching and thnking wow maybe we will be allright after all.Yet at the same time i think why isn't it kurt here doing this? and i almost want to take the kids and go home YK Just very strange.

The other night we were watching a video we made when we built our house and kurt was on it goofing around and playing. It was so great to see him again and hear his voice but then when i came into the shot i had to really look at it and i almost didnt recognize myself. i knew it was me but i was thinking "who is that" and "Is that really me". It was like watching a video of my parents before i was born It was really like watching a completely different person and it made me sad that i lost that person when he died and that my kids also lost her. I will never be her again and im starting to like the person i am now but i do wish i could have some of her back. I dont know if any of this makes sense and im sory if im rambling

I miss my husband everyday and i hurt that my kids have to go on without him but ia m beginning to like the way my life is being put back together. Not that i wouldnt take my old life back in a second but i know that is impossible

Hope everyone is doing well

Becky

[aprilmoonflower]

(((((Melissa)))))

Linda- you sound really strong! I am in awe of your strength! what is the Oprah book? (title?) I don't watch any kind of network tv (or cable/dish) and I need to get a new XM radio reciever! so no radio ether! (just NPR and things online) I am a little out of the loop!

Becky- thats great! but I totally get what you are talking about (Kind of) with another man around. it's like something so normal just triggers that deep sadness. I totally get it..it's so weird too. anyway that is wonderful you found someone you like alot! yay! bt I get the sadness. it sucks. but it's ok most of the time, right? it is funny how death defines us (even if we don't think it does).

Otherwise I am working on some poetry for another anthology (meaning I write for free but it will be published in a collection.lol.) this one I am especially feeling some deep passion for as it is for the Citizens of Border Solutions- the focus is on peace, the environment and border issues. I am so excited!

we had a great day at our single parent group. there was also a Peace Festival too so lots of wondeful things going on!

I really like this man. it has all come out of nowhere though..anyway if we are friends or more than friends is to be determined. lol. 

 

[missque]

thanks for the hugs april

[missque]

i need ur help.... jeremys cousin (his mom's neice) has just been put in a induced comma. 3 years ago she had a double lung transplant and this past month shes now rejected it... shes in her comma until she gets her transplant and its not looking good please pray for her and the family; theyve gone through so much this year they dont need another.

thanks

[aprilmoonflower]

wow Miss! I'm so sorry! I hope she improves! sending love!!!

[armaiti]

So sorry, Melissa, I'm sending light and love too!

It' s been quiet on this thread the past couple of days, hasn't it?  Hope everyone is doing ok...

I went out to a friend's place in the country today (not that Eugene is what you'd call THE BIG CITY), and it was lovely.  We took a nice walk around his property and it was sooooo quiet (at least while I was there - they are logging the forest out there and it often isn't so quiet).  His two cats went walking with us.  He has this lovely cabin for rent, which I would so love to live in.   So quiet and peaceful...but way too far away from the main town for me with all the Sufi things I do here.    Still, it's tempting, there is a river that runs through his property that you can swim and canoe on, just a lovely place.  At least I can go visit whenever I want!  He's been a real help since Ishaq passed, both he and his girlfriend are good friends and very supportive. 

I've managed to fight off the cold/flu thing that's been going around...we are doing a Sufi women's retreat here in two weeks, and I hope nobody comes who is sick, because I REALLY don't want to get this thing!  It should be a nice weekend. 

Hope everyone is doing well,

Blessings,

Anna

[missque]

where has everyone been lately? its been very slow on here- hope everyone is okay and doing well

[aprilmoonflower]

I am here. it was 30 months for me on Monday! ugh!

the only news is I really like the man friend still! we are still talking. but it makes things confusing too.

otherwise my oldest turns 4 on Tues! wow! How did that happen?

 

I hope everyone is doing well.

[armaiti]

Tomorrow is 19 months for me.  It is amazing how time goes on, isn't it? Today is also the 7 year anniversary of the passing of Ishaq's spiritual teacher.  I always think of his wife on these days...that this day seven years ago everything changed for her, and nothing would be the same again. 

I have found peace in these last months...interesting, but I would say this is the first time in my adult life when I haven't either been in a relationship, getting out of a relationship, or trying to find/start a relationship.  And there's a certain peace in that for me.  I got up today, did a whole makeover, going through my makeup drawer and I'm going to go get my bangs cut today.  And I'm only doing it for ME.  That's a change!  I splurged on some new makeup and perfume last night online (Laura Mercier, one of my favorites) and again, I'm just doing it for me - I'm not planning to go on a date, or impress anyone!  Ishaq liked it when I dressed up, but he also loved me when I was all muddy and grubby working in the garden with no makeup and my old overalls.  He cared more about the inside than the outside (though he did have a thing for redheads - and he loved Nicole Kidman!) 

My thing for spring is to really fix up the yard - the last year and half I've really let it go.  And the house too - I've been selling stuff on eBay that I haven't worn or used, and making some extra money to help get out of debt, and though it's hard sometimes (gee, that skirt is soooo pretty, maybe I should keep it though it's been in my closet for three years and i've worn it once...)    AND I really want to try and get back into shape and strong again...I feel very "soft" and not in a good way!

Hope everyone is doing well...

Blessings,

Anna

[grannyc]

My computer had a freeze up, so I have lost some of my address book.

Computermama, Steph (sfm) and Crushedheart.  Send me an e-mail so I can get you back into my address book.  Been missing you!

grannyCheryl

[lindat]

Becky - everything that you say makes sense, it is the way that I feel also.  Thank you for thinking of me, it helps...

April,  I am in awe of YOUR strength, you are amazing to me.  I fervently hope your man is everything you need and more.

The book is by Eckhart Tolle and it is "A New Earth".  She is doing a class on it in March - 300,000 have signed up for the online class.  I got the book, but wasn't that impressed.

Missy,  I send you hugs and I am praying for Jeremy's cousin and family.

Anna,  I am thinking of you today.  19 months is a long time, but it is also just a few minutes.  I hope you find some extra peace today.  

BTW, I found out a couple of days ago that the shot that causes me all the problems (Neulasta) costs $7000 per shot.  If it didn't cause me problems, I would feel screwed at that rate

xoxox

[crushedheart]

[aprilmoonflower]

Linda- thanks for the info on the book and class. I will check into that!

Anna- it sounds like you are super busy (In a good way!) did you ever get the etsy thing going? (STILL working on mine, I had forgotten how long it takes to get anything done with children underfoot!

(((Baca))) I know how you feel. we all do unfortunately.

 

[aprilmoonflower]

Beuller????

[airymoon]

just checking in tonight. It has been a rough week and as hard as i try i just cant get it together i cant get my house clean or get the kids to school on time. Work is getting harder and harder to be at and i really love my job. I feel like im just moving in a big circle and nothing is changing. Im selling 18 acres off of my land and its so hard to do because kurt really loved the land but i wont be able to keep the house if i dont sell it and put the money down on the mortgage. i also did something probably stupid but i dont care. I took every bit of my tax money and booked a trip to the bahamas for spring break. We went 4 years ago and always said we would go back but we never got the chance and i figured i could wait and maybe never go or i could just do it now. I chose now. My oldest isn't going because i couldnt afford to pay for his whole fair and when he found out that my friend was gong he said he didnt want to be around him and he would just be in a bad mood all the time. I told him i would try to add him as soon as i got the extra money but he said "dont bother i wont have fun and you wont either than" So i guess we are all going back minus 2.

Hope everyone is ok

becky

[mishknit]

becky....

there is only now, you know?

we have to be responsible, we have to live in the real world, but we also have to do something nice for ourselves once in a while.

peace,

michele

[mishknit]

becky....

there is only now, you know?

we have to be responsible, we have to live in the real world, but we also have to do something nice for ourselves once in a while.

peace,

michele

[airymoon]

Thanks Michelle I have learned to live in the now since Kurt died and i have learned that i cant fix or control everything and not to worry over those things. I try to do the best i can for my family but i no longer wait and see or wait to do things we really want to do because we may not get a chance to do them.

Becky

[missyouhoney811]

Becky, I believe you should live for the day.  As a matter of fact that is the way I always lived my life.  John became ill in 1984.  So life for us has always been spending a lot of the time in the hospital.  I was blessed being lucky winning the lottery off and on since 1986.  Many people (friends and family) thought I should have saved my winnings.  Instead we traveled.  When John was healthy we would book vacations.  I am very happy that we did travel because I have so many memories not mention the pictures that I will hold in my heart forever. 

Vegas was FANTASTIC.  I had a complimentary suite for three nights.  The food bill was $553.00 which they reimbursed me $355.00. Also, to make my stay special on a $2.00 slot play I had a Red 7 White 7 and Blue 7 come out which paid  me $1,000.00. I walked away from my slot machine with $1,700.00.  So all and all I had a great time.  I can't believe how much we drank without getting high.........FUN, FUN, FUN.  I can't wait to go back on 4/28.  Will anyone be in Vegas?????

I guess I will unpack, wash clothes and get dressed to go to ZUMBA.......

I also had fun being hit on in Vegas.  All different ages.  Of course I did not do anything wrong.  The thought of it put a big smile on my face. 

Hugs,

Dorothy

[armaiti]

Becky, I'm with Dorothy and Michele - you've got to live your life and take care of yourself.  We have a short time here, and we might as well make the most of it! 

I just came back from another nice walk along the river.   I took myself out for lunch and was good about not pigging out - I just had a tostada.  I'm trying again to get off the sugar, it's really hard, but I feel a lot better when I'm not eating it so much.   I've had a couple of nice dreams with Ishaq this week, which also helps.  Sometimes it feels like I could sink down into being depressed; then I usually sit down and do my spiritual practices or meditate, or go for a walk...those things all help.  I'm glad it's spring, that's helping, getting some sun. 

Dorothy, I'm glad you had such a great time.  You are certainly lucky when it comes to gambling - and sensible.  I just buy a Powerball ticket when the payout is big, but so far I've only won $6 or $8 on them.  Sure would be nice to win several million dollars!  I'm wanting to have some adventures too - I so miss our trips that Ishaq and I took.  I guess I'll just have to figure some out - I keep wanting to take the train somewhere...I haven't been on a train for years. 

Hope everyone has a peaceful weekend.

Blessings,

Anna

[missque]

my big fundraser is begining today and lasting till the 20th lets hope i can make some good money for Jeremy's memorial award

[lindat]

Good morning everyone!!  I found out last week that the hospital has free internet, so I am doing chemo and catching up on emails etc.  Woke up to a warmer day, maybe spring is finally going to show some signs of being around the corner.   I am ready - I miss walking outside!! I hope everyone is doing well. 

Missy, good luck on the fundraiser!!

Anna,  I know about the struggle with sugar.  Sugar feeds cancer cells so I have a double reason and it is still hard.

Dorothy, so glad you had fun on your trip.  I am going to Vegas in October if everything goes as planned.  I haven't been in awhile so I am really looking forward to it. 

Becky,  All we can do is the best we can do.  You will never please everyone and sometimes you just have to do something for yourself.  Going to the Bahamas is a dream of mine and  I know you will have a wonderful time.  

Michele and MJ - I feel the vibes

Peace.....

[missque]

my big fundraser is begining today and lasting till the 20th lets hope i can make some good money for Jeremy's memorial award

[missque]

Letter From Heaven

To my dearest family, some things I'd like to say...

but first of all, to let you know, that I arrived okay.

I'm writing this from heaven. Here I dwell with God above.

Here, there's no more tears of sadness; here is just eternal love.

Please do not be unhappy just because I'm out of sight.

Remember that I'm with you every morning, noon and night.

That day I had to leave you when my life on earth was through,

God picked me up and hugged me and He said, "I welcome you."

It's good to have you back again; you were missed while you were gone.

As for your dearest family, they'll be here later on.

I need you here badly; you're part of my plan.

There's so much that we have to do, to help our mortal man."

God gave me a list of things that he wished for me to do.

And foremost on the list, was to watch and care for you.

And when you lie in bed at night, the day's chores put to flight.

God and I are closest to you....in the middle of the night.

When you think of my life on earth, and all those loving years

because you are only human, they are bound to bring you tears.

But do not be afraid to cry; it does relieve the pain.

Remember there would be no flowers, unless there was some rain.

I wish that I could tell you all that God has planned.

But if I were to tell you, you wouldn't understand.

But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is o'er.

I'm closer to you now, than I ever was before.

There are many rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb;

but together we can do it by taking one day at a time.

It was always my philosophy and I'd like it for you too...

that as you give unto the world, the world will give to you.

If you can help somebody who's in sorrow and pain,

then you can say to God at night......"My day was not in vain."

And now I am contented....that my life has been worthwhile,

knowing as I passed along the way, I made somebody smile.

So if you meet somebody who is sad and feeling low,

just lend a hand to pick him up, as on your way you go.

When you're walking down the street, and you've got me on your mind;

I'm walking in your footsteps only half a step behind.

And when it's time for you to go.... from that body to be free,

remember you're not going.....you're coming here to me

[missyouhoney811]

Anna, NO DEPRESSION..................We came too far to go down deep in depression again.  I to would like to take a train.  I have enough points on my bank card to take the train ride in California going to the wine country.  I believe it's a three hour trip with lunch or dinner and a lot of drinking from the grapes. Maybe one of these days I will do that.

You know it does not bother me at all traveling by myself.  At first I thought I would not be able to do it. BUT, I have been meeting so many people from various walks of life.  I truly enjoy it.....Everyone has a story to tell.

I went to Zumba last night and also this afternoon.  Tomorrow morning I will be going to Zumba Pump.  I will be lifting weights. I am determined this year to get my body and health in excellent condition.  Also tomorrow I get weighed in. I doubt that all the drinking I did in Vegas will hurt anything.  I walked the strip daily.......going in and out of casinos......

Prayers & Blessings,

Dorothy

[Error username not found]

hey linda and everyone else.. i just wanted to tell you that i saw something that said purple grapes were linked to curing cancer. it was something about somebody being in an isolated area and eating purple grapes and curing a tumor. then some ppl tested it out and it worked on animals. just thought i would share that. ive been bizy. ill tty all soon. goodnight.

[armaiti]

Dorothy, if you come to California to do the wine tour, I'll meet you and go with you!  I grew up there, in Napa, though it is so different now it hardly looks like the place I remember.  But it is beautiful there.  The train used to run behind the house I grew up in, then they stopped using it and after I had grown and moved away they started again doing wine tours with it.  Right now the trains aren't running down there from Oregon because of the slide south of here is still being cleared.  It's a real remote area on a snowy mountain and I guess they are having a lot of problems. 

Miss, good luck with that fundraising!  I hope it is a great success.

Linda, good to hear from you; you are amazing!

I'm loving "Eat Pray Love" and getting a lot out of it.  I just started reading the part in Indonesia.   I love the old teacher's style of meditation - just sit and smile. 

I'm down to one cup of coffee a day, and also not eating after 7 PM, earlier if I can help it.  It's really helping stop the heartburn/GERD stuff I was having.  I know this can be taken care of by diet, so no doctors for me!

The depression stuff never lasts too long now...the memories of Ishaq are sweet reminders of what we had in this life, and what we'll have in the next...I actually had a dream a few nights ago...similar to ones I've had - I'm me, but don't look like me, and I was at what seemed to be a celebration for the anniversary or something. I remember being so happy in the dream.  Sometimes I think I'm' getting glimpses of my next life with Ishaq...though of course we'll be different people then...I believe in reincarnation so it makes sense to me.

Hope everyone has a peaceful night,

Blessings,

Anna

[aurora]

Love is all that endures when everything else crumbles-St.Paul (3-'06)

[laquinn]

Hi everyone I have missed all of you the past few days. They just got my internet up and running today I have missed not reading and talking to you all.

I finally got moved back to my home town, the first couple of days were ok and then out of the blue one night I just started crying. So I called a very good friend of mine and tallked to him for awhile and had to ask him again "Did I do the right thing by moving back?" He talked to me for quite awhile and reasoned with me that Randy would not want me driving the frontage roads late at night and that all of mine and his family is here so yes I did do the right thing. So I finished up the night with a good cry and then went to bed. He was so right I am better off here with friends and family around.

As I started putting things away here I tried to put it all back the way I had it at our old place and it still looks ok here. In the computer room here I have all of his things on the walls his badges from the different departments he worked for, his dipolams, the proclamation from the city when he retired and the picture of the day of his funeral when the city lowered the flag to half it is all here just like before. I am sleeping better I think at the old place I just couldn't bring myself to sleep and I was making myself sick there by not sleeping. I am starting to do ok for now anyway.I am working 5 days a week now and I love every minute of it Keeping busy.

One of the girls that I work with called me at 3 this mornign she was in labor but she was bleeding alot and her mother was an hour or more away with the bad weather we had, so she wanted me there with her, she was scared they both were. So I went and they had to do an emergency c section on here she was passing alot of blood and the babys heart rate was dropping but her and Abby are doing great everything turned out good for them. It was hard to go to the hospital though it was the first time I was there since Randy had been there but I did ok.

It will be 21 weeks Friday and I so miss him I have had to do alot of things on my own for this move and it was so hard I wanted him to be with me so much. I don't know when it gets any eaiser but for now I am getting by. But I so miss him i think more now then I did at first if that makes any since.

Well I will stop ramblin and I will talk to you again soon.

Lela

[Error username not found]

yeah everybody..  craazzy drama.. im tryina move now.. dont think ill be talking to any of you for a while.. im looking for a bs job.. any suggestions??

[missque]

baca- i have what you call a BS job- i work in a movie store however its not so much BS anymore cuz the amount of **** i deal with cuz my boss is an asshole has me coming home crying and drinkin wine every night after work--- thank god im quitting.. he makes comments to me like "so are you done dealing with your issues yet" refering to jer...

my days are getting harder to get up and i know its cuz ive forgotten to take my drugs forl ike over a week now (anxiety/depression) each day is a battle

my fundraiser is going alright- half the school is on reading week so next wee we should be making a bit more so far ive raised 200$ but we need 5 000$... its a start though i gotta keep tellin myself that

[Error username not found]

Whoaa miss.. wtf?? i would DEFF quit..along with telling him off..and problie file something against him for harassment. i hope everything works out for you. lemme know how ur doing and what happens with that dick.

As far as me looking for a job.. i have a few places in mind.. so im good..but thanx.

everyone else hope your doing good. ttyL.

[aprilmoonflower]

going to see John Edward tonight!!!!

[missyouhoney811]

April, I am so excited for you.  I hope you come away from seeing him as I did.  He lifted me completely. Let me know how it goes.  I hope he does a reading on you.

Anna, when I finally decide to make plans for my train ride I will let you know.  It would be great for us to meet.  I think it would be so much fun.

I must get ready and go to ZUMBA..............I'll talk to you later.

Hugs,

Dorothy

[eventually]

Hello everyone,

I don't wish to intrude.  And I am sorry if I am doing so.  I've read many posts and they all give me so much comfort.  I thank you very much for that.  I has been 7 months and 2 days since my fiancee passed away because of an enlarged heart. He was only 29.  The people spelled his name wrong on the marker, so they had to take it of the grave and redo it.  I can't believe they did that.  We were hoping to have it placed by his birthday, which on the 11th of March.  God, I'm such a wreck thinking about his bday is making me cry .  I think writing it down makes it worse.  I still feel so hopeless and I just wish B could just hug me and kiss me and make these horrible feelings go away. He promised he would never leave me. I think I'm pulling away from everyone I love.   I try not to think of B. I haven't talked with his family for a couple weeks.  And when I look at his brother I tear up.  They have so many of the same facial expressions.  It just kills me.  I'm doing all the therapy stuff, I got a puppy, who I spoil rotten.  I'm trying to stay busy. ..but when my life stills the pain is still there. I thought I was doing better, but I guess thats a big laugh on me.  I don't know if I'm making much sense. Sorry  I'm rambling on like this.  Thank you to all who read this.  I hope I didn't bore you to bad.  Blessings.

~M

[maamgrey]

Dear M,

I've been reading these posts too.  You sound almost exactly like me.  It was my finace that died too.  We were supposed to get marrid this May and I'm alrady dreading that day.  Everything you expressed is exactly how I feel.  Every day I cry bcause I miss him so much.  Most of all, I miss talking to him - and him talking back.

The only comfort is knowing that we're not alone.

Sue

[Error username not found]

hey guys.. its interesting to know that people who dont post are so quickly able to join in the convo. your NOT intruding. thats what were all here for.its actually nice to talk to you guys. it was my fiance too..but i still call him my bf sometimes. i know exactly how you both feel. it's been 1 year and a few months for me and i still feel like that. i remember being on here looking at the people who said its been over a year like they were lucky...and its funny because i've become one of those people. and i have to say..it does get a little easier.. easier to think of him as just "being around you" rather than actually there. i miss him sooooo much and i feel like ive made a BAD habit of calling ppl i dont really wanna talk to so that i dont spend too much time alone at night. i still wish i could just see him walking up to the house and all my problems would go away.. honestly.. i live in a bit of a dream world. but i do talk to him and i ALWAYS think of him. its just easier than it used to be...but it's still hard to breathe. i wish i could have him all to myself again. trust me.. i know how you feel. come back and talk whenever you want.

[missyouhoney811]

[align=left]April, how did it go?  Running out for Zumba early today because we are expecting a snow storm later this afternoon.....Talk to you later....Hope everyone is doing well today.

Blessings,

Dorothy

[/align]

[rodless]

20 months today. I swear when I hit the 2 yr. mark I'm going to stop counting months. -8 degrees this morning and new snow doesn't help. Spring can't come too soon!

[missyouhoney811]

[align=left]MJ, thinking of you today.  My 19th month  will be on Tuesday.  It would be nice if only we could  forget the days, weeks and months.  How long do we keep count?

Zumba was a real workout this morning.  I already took my second shower for the day.  Running out to get my hair done now.

Prayers and Blessings,

Dorothy

[/align]

[armaiti]

Mary Jo, I'm thinking of you too today.    And April, I'm curious too about John Edward!

I'm baking up a storm for our women's retreat today.  So many of the folks can't eat wheat or gluten so I'm baking gluten free banana bread, blueberry muffis and brownies...and maybe an apple pie.  We have seventeen women coming to the retreat, all from our Sufi community.  Many were students of Ishaq.  Should be interesting.  Though I got a call from Ishaq's son last night and he was wondering abot them coming down to visit.  I wish he'd called earlier, I probably would have opted to see them instead of go to the retreat, but I'm committed now. 

I know about counting the days, the months.  I don't think I'll probably ever stop...so many memories over those ten and a half years he and I were together.  We'd be planning the trips and adventures we were going to have right now, him putting in for time off at work so we could go off and explore in the beauty of Oregon.  I miss that.  I miss Ishaq.  That won't ever change.

Blessings,

Anna

[aprilmoonflower]

John Edward postponed!!!!!!!!!!!! he got grounded in Dallas due to snow! arghh! I drove 500+ miles for nada!!! grrrr! so bummed!

[qubert]

Hello Anna,

I look forward to your post.I could only hope a pray to have the spirt that you have. I hope in the near furture I can start living again. I know it will never be the same without my other half. It will be very different, your friend has helped me see things differently now. So I don't cry as much I have started a journal and write to Bruce every day. I know that I need to find and outlet other than the ones I have joined online however that is the only thing that gets me through the day sometimes.

 

Aprilmoon, So sorry that it was cancelled I was looking forward to your post after you see him

God Bless

SUSAN

[maamgrey]

Thanks for making us feel welcome.  Mike and I were supposed to get married this May.  We had had our rings for a long time and his and mine were both really unusual and beautiful.  Mike designed my rings - the engagement ring is a 2-carat oval pink sapphire with 2 small diamonds on each side with a white gold band.  The wedding ring is a white gold band with alternating diamonds and pink sapphires.  I love them both and I was so looking forward to wearing the wedding band.  As soon as Mike died I came home and put on the wedding band.  I felt like I was supposed to.  Besides, it couldn't just sit in a box for the rest of my life.  I buried Mike with his ring.  He'd never had a chance to wear it and he never knew I engraved it.  It makes me cry just to write this.  It seems so tragic and so unfair.

Sue

[grannyc]

(((Oh my Dear Sue)))

Let the Lord carry you, your pain is so deep and it is so unfair.   Know everyone here cares very much for you!    You're in my prayers,   GrannyCheryl      :?

[grannyc]

Steph,

(Young, georgeous Steph) do you post or read any at this site anymore?  My computer was down and I lost your e-mail.  Send me one if you see this.  I miss our exchanges!  Can't find you under the Members.

Sincerely,

Cheryl