I Miss Him So...

[rodless]

correction on an earlier quote: "If I had a star for every time you made me smile, I would be holding the night sky in my hands." 

Thanks for all the kind words. And, Linda, special prayers of concern for you. Keep us updated when you can. Mary Jo

[mishknit]

ok...

i don't know if this will work but....

i know it's been a long time since i posted..i'm laying low, but reading.

it's almost 2 years for me....it's very weird and challenging in a different way then the first year was. i don't feel like posting, i feel like i have nothing to say.

it's christmas agin, and it's so hard. i have the habit of getting up with ,my son and going to the gym to start my day once he's gone...uh/..too many days lately i just go back to bed. i know it's depression, i know i could take something, but it feels so seasonal, you know? the house is decorated (not just My ancestor table, anna!) and it's pretty and it makes me feel good and it makes me feel sad and all those feelings are so mixed up this year. and then, in january, it will be 2 years.

2 years. how did that happen? how did i make it through without him? how do i keep a realtionship with my son without his dad? i just do it, somehow....

i wish i felt tom more with me,

i wish i felt god more with me,

i'm very glad to feel all of you with me.

linda...i am thinking of you daily, sending my strongest thoughts of healing towards you....keep us posted.

all the newcomers...i am so sorry for your losss, your stories break my already broken heart. this is a club noone wants to belong to, but we do. we DO! and we are all the same, christian, sufi, atheist, agnostic, muslim, jewish..we are EXACTLY the same. we are women who have lost our loves, our hearts, and need the support of others to keep on. i am so grateful to this bb and another i belong to (and haven't been posting on! lol..it's not just here!)....you are all angels.

peacce,

michele

[missque]

We've had some really bad snow storms since yesterday. Actually for the first time all of Ontario was under storm warnings- i think we got like at least 30 cm's and theres still more to come (30 cm's is the size of your childs school ruller) we also had wnd gutsts up to 60 km/hr. Just one of those daus i wished i could snuggle up under the covers all day with jer. or just pull the covers over my head and forget about the day

[justamom]

Good Morning everyone, I too have been reading everyday but haven't had much to say.

Michele, I am so glad to see your post. You said exactly how I feel. I am struggling with the 2 year mark, the decorating is making me cry everyday which I don't do as much any more so It makes me think "don't decorate" but I have 2 little boys that ask everday to put the tree up. Hockey boy put up the outside lights and everytime I see them I cry and want to rip them down. I feel bad for him a good deal of the time, we are such a rough package at this point I can't imagine what he is thinking hanging around! (Maybe not doing as well as I thought.) The dull pain is stil there but most of the time it stays where I want it. Right now it keeps sneaking out and laying me flat.

Linda, I am thinking of you every single day and sending you all of my good energy! How is your man friend doing since his surgery?

MaryJo, Your posts always move me! I love to read how you are doing. Been to any good concerts lately? "Shake your hiney" I am telling you it is the only thing that makes me feel like my old self! I am going to see The Brian Setzer Christmas concert on the 11th. How about good books - read anything lately?

April, How about you? school? I think you were considering a couple of differnt things? I have put grad school on hold, Depression makes GRE's seem stupid! How are all of your critters? Our puppy who weighs almost as much as me now is still kickin our butts! She flunked out of puppy school cuz she won't sit - We are going to try again after the new year. For now we just try to think that she is funny.

Dorothy, have you won anything lately? Keep waiting for you to hit that power ball.

Anna, when we were cutting Christmas trees down on Sat. we saw a Huge, maybe 50 foot tree that someone had cut just for the top. Both of my boys felt so bad for that tree and were so mad at the people. I am so sorry about your tree.  

To all of you new girls, I am so sorry that you are here but it is a good place fells like talking to friends who know everything about you. Take care and be gently with yourselves.

Try to have a good day - no shooting yard decorations ladies! Lisa

[crushedheart]

Just saying hello everyone ...

Granny or anyone else.. My email address is arrowhead1_@hotmail.com...

it's nice to see you all again ..Take Care...Hugssss and MY Prayers are with you all 

[aprilmoonflower]

Glad to hear you are ok Michele. And you too Lisa! it's good to hear from you both!

I started a new freelance writing job yesterday. it is going well. there are so many writing jobs to be had as well! school is on hold for now while I get my massage/shiatsu practice off the grouond this coming year. I will probably go back in 2-4 years.

[aprilmoonflower]

btw anna are you still writing for AC? I still need to read your story! it's on my list I promise!!! if you are writing for AC can you send me your link?

[armaiti]

April, I haven't written for AC for a while...mostly I've been focusing on my art at CafePress, as things seem to be selling steadily and I need to keep adding new pieces to my store.  And AC was paying less than they used to for what I was writing, so I'm taking a break from it.  I really like writing poetry best, and they don't pay for poetry at all.

Whew, I got back a while ago from doing some Xmas shopping...I prefer to go in the week when it's quiet.  It was like spring here this morning,warm and sunny, then this afternoon torrential rain showers!  That's Oregon.  If you don't like the weather, just wait five minutes!

Blessings,

Anna

[aprilmoonflower]

Anna-  It was 75 today here! It is going to get colder this weekend. One of my goats has been under the weather, so I hope she is better by then! I hear you on AC. they pay like crap lately and you really have to promote! (but every little bit helps!)  I just write sporadically there. but I like it for practice and extra money of course.. I just bought a new sewing machine and I am opening an etsy shop in a few weeks! I used to consider myself a fiber artist once upon a time (pre kids). I just realize I never sew/create anymore because my machine sucks! sooo, I'm waiting for the new one to arrive any day now! I can't wait!!! it will be good to get back in touch with my former self I think. btw, good luck with your art sale!

oh and my assigment for tomorrow is to write about 2500 words about cocaine and various topics pertaining to cocaine. it's really difficult researching a drug I know played apart in my DH death! ugh! 

[aprilmoonflower]

Anna- your mention of poetry made me want to share this, which is one of my fav poems and was my first published piece ever! (I too love to write poetry!) this poem I wrote on my honeymoon at the spot where Geronimo was born (headwaters of the Gila river in NM and quite a hike through the wilderness). a magical place in nature.

 

Gila Sojourn

i am a wandering spirit

walking in the path

of healers and teachers

gone before me

i hear their voices on the wind

as i tread lightly

alongside the river

mint beneath my feet

within canyons

enveloping me

in a womb of time

i hear their songs

in the rainfall

as i dream of

forgotten yesterdays

with fire in my heart

rainbows at my fingertips

[missyouhoney811]

Hi everyone, if you have a chance and you feel like watching a movie turn on Lifetime and watch "UNDER THE MISTLETOE".  You will shed a few tears but it leaves you with a warm and happy feeling inside.

Prayers and Blessings,

Dorothy

[lindat]

We got the pathology report from Jim's surgery yesterday and unfortunately cancer has spread outside the prostate.   We will know more after the first 2 PSA tests, but it is definitely a tough thing to hear.  I had a real positive attitude for these results and just feel crushed.  I am spending a night away from him tonight to try and get my bearings and not bring him down more, but it is so hard.  I still haven't heard any more about my surgery so everything is up in the air with that.  It would be easier if one of us could get some good news for a change. 

My daughter from MS is coming with the grandkids for Christmas and my other daughter that lives in LA is coming also.   They will be meeting Jim for the first time.  It will be so good to see them again.  My grandkids are hoping to see snow - it was all over the place the last couple of days so perhaps that will work out for them. 

I had my first visit to a therapist last week - he looked like he was going to cry by the time I had finished telling him about Katrina and Terry and what is going on with me now.   At one point he remarked that I was handling everything with a great attitude and that some folks just wouldn't get out of bed if all that had happened to them.  

He seemed overwhelmed when I left and will probably be glad if I don't ask to meet with him again 

April that poem was so beautiful!!!

MJ and Michele, I love you both - ty  so much...

Lisa, so good to hear from you again.

Anna and Dorothy, thank you....

Thank you all for the good wishes and prayers.....  xoxox

[rodless]

crushedheart....was so glad to see you post again!!!

linda...don't know what to say. Can't believe you've been through so much and now have this to deal with. Just know you're close to my heart.

lisa & michele...good to hear from you even if things aren't going well. I think what's happening to you is similar to what I went through the 2nd year after my divorce. Raising kids alone, wondering if there is ever going to be a furture worth looking for and being so tired, sad and sick of it all. Maybe having been through that is helping me now. I was on my own for 10 years between marriages. It was rough.

Remember that guy I talked about early on? Friend of Rod's who was ready to roll. He finally stopped calling and I hadn't seen him for awhile. But now he's doing snow removal for the city including library so now we're back to the sam old. Right now I am not interested in anyone who does not look like, talk like, walk like and smile like Rod. Maybe down the road but I now I just want to scream "Leave me alone!." And I will again in a nice way I suppose. Arggh!!

Hope all are having a good day. Mary Jo

[rodless]

April, forgot to say I loved the poem. Don't know as much about the SW Native American tribes as Plains ones, but I would love to see that place. Gerinomo was a fascinating person with the way he kept going. Hope you're enjoying your desert hear while I'm buried up here under ICE (unbelievable how thick it is) and snow. MJ

[lindat]

MJ - if Jim had approached me in any other way than emails from a distance, I would have NEVER talked to him or seen him.   When we first started emailing, it was like it wasn't real but it was so nice to have someone to talk to about Terry and the way that I was feeling and Jim was and is such a good listener - and so far away that it felt okay.    If I hadn't lost the weight to look better when I finally saw him 8 months later, I might not have found the lump when I did.   It has all worked out so weird, like there was a plan so that each of us would not have to go thru this alone.   We are still feeling out our relationship, but we have complete trust that we are there for each other no matter what - as a best friend at the very least.   After Terry died,  I never would have believed that I would ever feel this close to anyone - I am glad every day that I do.  I worry about losing him and he worries about losing me, but it would be worse to be alone without the hugs that make everything seem better.

Linda

[mishknit]

April..your poem was beautiful, thanks for posting it.

Linda...i am so sorry. I love your attitude tho, and i hope all of us here on this bb can be helpful to you during this time..instead of crying like your therapist!that actually made me laugh..some of our stories would make a therapist cry, which isn't very helpful, is it?

mj....sorry about the snow plow guy again...jeez, he's persistant, which i guess is a good thing, he knows what he wants! just can't get it into his head that you don't want him!

anna..those storms were awful! listening to the news was scary..i hope you're ok where you are.

and everyone...hang in..we all have holidays to get thru, and we will.

peace, michele

[laquinn]

I am sitting here tonight and today has been a really bad day. Tomorrow night I am supposed to go to a Christmas party for the police department my husband worked at I told them I would be there but now I am not sure that I can go just not sure that I am ready to it. They have all been great to me and my kids the past few months but I just don't know if I can go through it yet. I know Randy would want me to be there in his place but not sure how I will hold up seeing all of them and their families together and it will just be me my boys and their wives.

My aunt called me today from California my uncle was diagnoised the beging of November  with lung cancer and he passed away this past Friday he wasgiven 2 monthsl.

This will be my second Christmas without my dad and my grandmother and the first without Randy this just dosen't seem fair.

If you can just think about me tomorrow night if I decide to go to the party give me courage from a distance.

 

Thanks Lela

[armaiti]

Lela, I will definately be thinking about you.  I went to the Red Cross where Ishaq worked when they had their annual meeting and were dedicating a classroom to him, but it was hard to be there.  Still, I think it meant a lot to them that I came and participated, so if you go, you will be making them all happy.  I know it will be hard, but it also might be good, being with all these people who loved him too.

April, your poem was awesome.  I really enjoyed it.

Linda, I'm so sorry about the Jim's results.  I'm keeping you on the healing prayers and keeping you in my heart and thoughts.

Mary Jo, I'm with you on not wanting anyone who isn't my beloved.  I can't even imagine being with another man, and since this is a close knit community I pretty much know everyone whose in my circle, or has similar beliefs, and there isn't a one I'm interested in. 

Michele, I survived the storm fine.  Only a few small branches down and lots of leaves in the carport.  My neighbor across the street had his fence blow down, but that was about the worst of it in our neighborhood.

Hope everyone has a peaceful night...I'm baking sugar-free meringue cookies for tomorrow night's Sufi class...one of our friends is a diabetic woman, and I'm trying to bring things she can eat.  I use this stuff called xylitol - horrible name, but it's all natural, made from the inner cambian bark of birch trees, and it's low glycemic so it's safe for diabetics - and me, whose trying to kick the sugar habit and lose these last ten pounds!  And Private Practice is on tonight, so I can lose myself in someone elses problems for a while....

Blesisngs,

Anna

[aprilmoonflower]

so I wrote almost 2700 words about cocaine. more than I ever wanted to know.

sometimes I wish I had never met him. seriously. :X 

[aprilmoonflower]

Linda- I'm so sorry to hear the news about your friend.. you have been through sooo much though, you will get through whatever lies ahead as well.

[rodless]

Lela..I hope you go to the party even if you have to leave 10 minutes after you get there. I made it through Rod's RC airplane gathering for a little while the Labor Day after he died. The sounds of the planes flying are what brought me down not the people. Going by yourself is good becuase you can leave when you want to and cry all you need to. I stopped at a nearby lake and sat in the car until I could drive again safely. Will definitely think about you!!

Found out this morning that the guy is dating someone so maybe I'm off the hook and a little too sensitive? Mary Jo

[laquinn]

Thanks Mary Jo

I am gonna go not sure how long I will be there but I am going. Talked to the chaplin that did Randy's service he works at the police department and he said that I really need to be there (not sure what they have planed) and to bring lots of tissues!

I will try to stay as long as I can will  let you how it goes later.

 

Hey maybe it's a good thing he found someone else to date!

Again Thanks Lela

[missyouhoney811]

Linda, I am so sorry about the health problems you are facing.  It is silly for me to say for you to be strong..................Lord knows you have been for some time now. My prayers and best wishes are going your way.

Mary Jo, I must have my head stuck in a hole. I don't remember reading anything in reference to a man bothering you. How long ago did this happen?

Lela, I hope you find some enjoyment at the party. You know you can do it.

Blessings,

Dorothy

[missyouhoney811]

[align=left]I am proud of myself. I finally was able to put my picture up.:D:D:D:DThis was taken at the wedding in Texas in September with my son John Robert.

[/align]

[aprilmoonflower]

glad to finally put a face to you!

[grannyc]

((Hi all))  :?

I, too, think being able to put a face to everyone is nice!

Oh, am I side stepping this week-Yuck!   Sad, sad, sad.  It was my birthday this week and last year too. My birthday seemed harder to get through then Tim's.   I spose his ideas for my birthday and such.  Made my day and that no longer exists either.

Been having lotz of back pain.  Finally had many different types, etc. X-rays to find out--- I have adult Scoliosis (sp)  Waiting for a date on an MRI.  The pain sure makes the day long.............................exhausting............................and sad.  WoW, lotz of whining. oops

I do truly wish it were January, no matter how hard one tries, the holidays just hang there waiting for one to have to smash right into.   I sooooo miss Tim the last couple nights.   Da_n.

Well, this post is taking us-NOwhere.  Guess I am just heading to bed maybe that'll help the pain.  

Praying for everyone and all the xtra things thrown into so many of your lifes.  I am so deeply saddened and sorry for each of you.

Good Night!

Granny Cheryl  :shock:

[airymoon]

hello crushed heart its good to hear from you!

Ahh Lisa just when i was loading up the paint ball guns you pulled the no shooting decorations thing.

Love to all of you

Becky

[crushedheart]

Good morning eveyone...Hey Becky ...thanks good to see everyone...My morning came early ..something woke me up at 2:30 ...couldn't go back to sleep...My energy level is on the rise again ..lol..  My Prayers have been said ..chores done( course that doesn't take too long any more) .. some gifts wrapped...shower over with ..catching up on email...hey I'm onna roll this morning ..(laughs) I'll crash about 9 ..lol..

Granny again I   hope you had a nice birthday ..Hate to hear about that back pain tho ...Hope all turns out well ...whispers in Granny's ear..don't wish Jan here so fast...I'll be another year older...Yikes 63 ...bows my head ...mumbles who ever called these golden years was insane...or too young to know what they was talking about ...(rolls eyes ):shock:

Naz.. I've got the balloons ordered with each of y'all's name on them ready for Big Hearts Day ...Dec 11..I'll be releasing them here at home or at the cemetery...hopefully I can get some pictures to post...I'm also going to invite  a few of our widowed ladies here for lunch that day as well...I just have this really big NEED/Feeling ... to do something for someone ..guess it may be coming from being so busy all of my life to this sudden stand still...and not wanting that sudden stand still ..am i making any sence to y'all...lol...

be well and hope everyone finds some peace and joy today in what ever way you can ..know that I'm Praying for you all ..whether you want me too or not..naner naner boo boo...

 

Becky ...shoot those paint balls  when Lisa isn't looking ..lol

[rodless]

Dorothy, wow! Nice picture. I will try to get one up soon. Kepp forgetting to take it to work to scan. The guy I was talking about was a longtime friend of Rod's (also pall bearer.) He broke up with his 10 yr. live in about the time Rod died. He offered to help me out with stuff so I called him when the battery on my van died and when I had a gutter problem. Paid him off with pizza gift certificates. Then he started calling and stopping in to "talk."  I became uncomfortable with some things he said. I would never be interested in him (even if I were ready to date which I'm not) so avoided him for awhile. I think things are going to be ok now. Like I said..I was probably a little sensitive this week. Nice enough guy but one that has to have a woman in his life if only for one reason. Off to work - way too many hours this week so I'm dragging and going in later. Everyone have a good weekend....and Becky, the reindeer are shining brightly across the street but somehow I just don't have the desire to go after them this year....at least right now. I'll let you know if I need help with them as the month goes on! Mary Jo

[missyouhoney811]

The salt truck just came up my hill so I guess I will venture out to the mall. Puerto Rico is 16 days away. I have to get a couple fancy outfits. I will be going to many parties and everyone dresses up so this should be fun. To think that is where John and I had our first vacation 35/36 years ago.  I never thought our son would meet a girl from Puerto Rico and also to find out her parents married the same year and month as we did.  I guess some things are meant to be. Vanessa is a great girl and I love her dearly. I am looking forward to hearing the Mass in Spanish.  I am a Catholic and I remember the days of going to church when the Mass was said in Latin. Which I can truly say I do miss it. Of course that was the days that we had to know Latin. I imagine people would protest it today. Oh well, different time different world. Llife goes on.

I hope everyone is doing well.  I seem to be on the up and up.  I am playing Christmas Carols in the house and car.  John loved Christmas and he enjoyed singing. I'll miss him forever.  Love of my life forever and ever.

As far as having a bad back.  I have the same problem as Cheryl?? I have had mine since 1999. The doctor's actually wanted me to have surgery and I told them that was not going to happen. (Lack of trust for the medical profession) When its bad I do heat or ice.........rest..........last result I put the tens unit on my back.  I also in the past had the injections in the spine. I can't take pain pills.

Prayers and Blessings,

Dorothy

[missyouhoney811]

Just looked out my kitchen window, what a beautiful site...............I have five deer in my snow covered yard.  I guess I better make a stop at Home Depot and pick up some food for all of my creatures in the yard and woods.  I use to love taking Sherman for walks at this time of year its so peaceful.  We enjoyed walking in the new snow and yes I have been known to throw myself down in the yard and make snow angels...............while Sherman would get excited and lick my face. I miss my dog. Although, I will NEVER have another animal ............ I do love them. 

Maybe one of these days we will meet in Sedona, AZ for a retreat.  I am not sure who suggested Sedona but it does look FANTASTIC to me. Maybe it will be one of the trips I do alone. I guess I am getting use to traveling alone.  Remember I am still game to meet  wherever .................... I live in the present and I fly like a bird.  After that statement no more coffee for me today.....

Take care.

Dorothy

[laquinn]

Well Ladies I went to the party last night. When I walked through the door that was hard but I was meet with alot of hugs and well wishes. I was a tough nite but knowing that Randy was in my heart it made it alittle eaisier to get through it. Had a nice meal and it was nice to sit and talk to the guys that he worked with.

Today I am feeling pretty good I had a talk with Randy today and I feel better kinda like alittle bit of weight taken off my heart ...not all of it just a little.

We had a good  snow storm here last night a few accidents in the area but not to bad. I was sitting here after I got home last night and I had to laugh. With Randy being a police officer he would alwys say when the first ice, snow, or hard rain was I hate this weather it's like people forget how to drive. And when the first accident toned out (after I no one was hurt) had to smile and remember what he always said. So last night turned out to be ok.

I found this the other night when I could not sleep and I want to pass it along

Whispers From Heaven

When I left this world without you

I know it made you blue.

Your tears fell so freely,

I watched, I know this is true.

While you were weeping,

Days after I passed away

While all was silent within me,

I saw you kneel to pray.

From this wonderful place called heaven

Where all my pain is gone,

I send a gentle breeze to whisper

"My loved ones, please go on" 

Thank you all for thinking about me last night while I took that big step and I will say a prayer for each of you that you might find that one thing that will get you through the Christmas season.

God bless you all for your friendship even though we have never meet.

Have a great day! Lela

[airymoon]

Thanks mary jo--im here for ya! I dont have the need this year as much as last year but there are still times. Im locked and ready

becky

[rodless]

Well, here's the pic. I am so proud of being able to do it. It was taken at my niece's wedding just before we started dancing. I have another of Rod taken later in the evening. His sleeves are rolled up, his tie is crooked and he has a sexy grin on his face. We loved to dance and that was the last time before his final battle with chemo and complications. Even with his breathing problems he managed to be on the floor a little. It was the last time we ever danced and the last song we danced to was may I have this dance for the rest of my life. It was a very special evening. I used to cry buckets when I looked at the pics. Now I smile and get this warm feeling that fills me up. I was so lucky to have found him and had him in my life.

[aprilmoonflower]

way to go maryjo! glad to finally "see" you!

 

none of you look like I imgained in my head at all (except Anna.lol)

ok now I want to see pics of michele and lisa too (if you want to post pics, if not I totally understand!)lol.

[aprilmoonflower]

Lela- that party may have been hard but the next one won't be. hang in there.

[armaiti]

It's great to see what people look like - it's true folks look different than I was picturing them - Mary Jo, I always thought you had straight dark hair for some reason! 

Lela, glad you were able to go - even if it was hard, sometimes we need to be there for the other folks that loved our partners.

GrannyC: Happy belated birthday to you, and I'm so sorry that you are hurting.  Have you ever tried taking supplements like glucosamine?  I've started taking one with that in it called "Move Free" (horrible name, sounds like a laxative), and it seems to be helping my chronic knee pain. 

I'm still setting up for my art show and sale tomorrow...I went off to get some stuff at the store and there was a beautiful rainbow.  I'm looking forward to the sale and having friends drop by, and also hoping I make some money! (since I just found another pair of Manolo Blahnik shoes online at Neiman clearance; I swear I'm morphing into Carrie Bradshaw, or at least my closet is...)

We had a lovely Sufi class last night, and during the medication it became clear that I need to do some new things, have some new direction, so I decided to drop out of the belly dance band for now.  It's fun, but a lot of work, I want to start doing some different musical things next year.

Oh, by the way, if you want to hear one of the pieces I did sing with the band, CD baby has pretty long clips.  One of my favorites is a Turkish song called "Dere" ...Ishaq plays guitar on it, and it's kind of prophetic, since he died while he was in a river.  The Turkish words translate to something like "the river is flowing on and on, how long will it be until my love and I are together again."  The link for that clip is;

http://cdbaby.com/cd/americanistan2

It's song #2.  I also sing on Aya Zein, Romp Rompi, Miserlou, Bir Demet and Mustapha.

Blessings,

Anna

[airymoon]

anna  its funny i always pictured mary jo with long straight dark hair too. April is a lot how i pictured her though

it is nice to see everyone. Just got done putting the lights on the christmas tree. I really didnt feel like decorating it but my daughter did so we did. I dont feel angry as much as last year so maybe this is the starting of a new step?

[rodless]

Ya know, at one point in my life I had long straight dark(er) hair...back in '68-72 in college.  I don't color it but it has lightened on its way to gray, kinda wierd.

Lela, I'm glad to hear your party report. Good for you! I've found that sometimes the things I dread the most turn out okay and stuff I didn't think would bother me hits me with a bang like turning into the driveway tonight after a late night grocery run. I've done it hundreds of times in the past 17 months but this time it got me. Oh well, tomorrow is another day. As Michele used to say...big huge sigh. MJ

[rodless]

Also, Lela, thanks for the poem. I copied it for my notebook. I keep stuff like that to pull out when I'm down. MJ

[mishknit]

and here she is..

with a big HUGE sigh!

first..it is fun to see the pics...i'll find one and post it soon..noone lookes exactly as i pictured them, and yet everyone is so perfect! LOl! it is great to see the pics. maybe you all should start guessing what i look like, and then i'll post and see who's the closest....might be a little fun in this dreary time...better than shooting out xmas dcorations, eh?

meanwhile...i don't know who else is experiencing this,,but i have a 15 year old son, freshamn in high school..and he is getting more and more independant and it is so hard to let him go! frankly, the problem is me..i don't have much of a life on my own..he has been such a focus, you know. he called me from school today before pick-up and said he wanted to stay thru the evening, because they were having a show...it knocked me for a loop! i had dinner planned, a movie and fire wood......but those were MY plans, not his, and i have to start dealing with that. I ended up going to the mall, but it was depressing, then i had dinner at a great restaraunt, but sat by a couple who were about my age and basicaly didn't talk to each other the whole time....and all i wanted to do was talk with tom.

like i said, big huge sigh tonite.

and dorothy..that picture is your son, right??????

peace,

michele

[mishknit]

and here she is..

with a big HUGE sigh!

first..it is fun to see the pics...i'll find one and post it soon..noone lookes exactly as i pictured them, and yet everyone is so perfect! LOl! it is great to see the pics. maybe you all should start guessing what i look like, and then i'll post and see who's the closest....might be a little fun in this dreary time...better than shooting out xmas dcorations, eh?

meanwhile...i don't know who else is experiencing this,,but i have a 15 year old son, freshamn in high school..and he is getting more and more independant and it is so hard to let him go! frankly, the problem is me..i don't have much of a life on my own..he has been such a focus, you know. he called me from school today before pick-up and said he wanted to stay thru the evening, because they were having a show...it knocked me for a loop! i had dinner planned, a movie and fire wood......but those were MY plans, not his, and i have to start dealing with that. I ended up going to the mall, but it was depressing, then i had dinner at a great restaraunt, but sat by a couple who were about my age and basicaly didn't talk to each other the whole time....and all i wanted to do was talk with tom.

like i said, big huge sigh tonite.

and dorothy..that picture is your son, right??????

peace,

michele

[mishknit]

and here she is..

with a big HUGE sigh!

first..it is fun to see the pics...i'll find one and post it soon..noone lookes exactly as i pictured them, and yet everyone is so perfect! LOl! it is great to see the pics. maybe you all should start guessing what i look like, and then i'll post and see who's the closest....might be a little fun in this dreary time...better than shooting out xmas dcorations, eh?

meanwhile...i don't know who else is experiencing this,,but i have a 15 year old son, freshamn in high school..and he is getting more and more independant and it is so hard to let him go! frankly, the problem is me..i don't have much of a life on my own..he has been such a focus, you know. he called me from school today before pick-up and said he wanted to stay thru the evening, because they were having a show...it knocked me for a loop! i had dinner planned, a movie and fire wood......but those were MY plans, not his, and i have to start dealing with that. I ended up going to the mall, but it was depressing, then i had dinner at a great restaraunt, but sat by a couple who were about my age and basicaly didn't talk to each other the whole time....and all i wanted to do was talk with tom.

like i said, big huge sigh tonite.

and dorothy..that picture is your son, right??????

peace,

michele

[mishknit]

and here she is..

with a big HUGE sigh!

first..it is fun to see the pics...i'll find one and post it soon..noone lookes exactly as i pictured them, and yet everyone is so perfect! LOl! it is great to see the pics. maybe you all should start guessing what i look like, and then i'll post and see who's the closest....might be a little fun in this dreary time...better than shooting out xmas dcorations, eh?

meanwhile...i don't know who else is experiencing this,,but i have a 15 year old son, freshamn in high school..and he is getting more and more independant and it is so hard to let him go! frankly, the problem is me..i don't have much of a life on my own..he has been such a focus, you know. he called me from school today before pick-up and said he wanted to stay thru the evening, because they were having a show...it knocked me for a loop! i had dinner planned, a movie and fire wood......but those were MY plans, not his, and i have to start dealing with that. I ended up going to the mall, but it was depressing, then i had dinner at a great restaraunt, but sat by a couple who were about my age and basicaly didn't talk to each other the whole time....and all i wanted to do was talk with tom.

like i said, big huge sigh tonite.

and dorothy..that picture is your son, right??????

peace,

michele

[mishknit]

sorry guys..it was so slow! i kept hitting send, and there it is 4 times....sorry!

michele

[missyouhoney811]

Quote of the Day - "When one door of happiness closes another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which  has opened for us."   (Helen Keller)

Michele, that is my son in the picture. My baby boy turned 26 on 10/11. I can't believe how fast they grow. I said many times he could have gone down so many roads when his father became paralyzed but I am so thankful he turned out to be a good man.  It was tough for him having a father that was so ill.  I guess his fathers voice was always in his head for him to do well and make him proud.

I know you want your son around you..................at 15 that is a tough age. They still love us but want to see a little less of us. Don't worry about it and try not to be sad. By the time he becomes 19 or 20 he will take a complete turnaround. Growing up is not easy and as mom's we have to learn to let go a bit..........

I have a Christmas party to go to tonight.  I really would like to just stay home. I guess they really want me over I received many calls and e-mails making sure I was coming over. It won't hurt me to get dressed and go. I might enjoy myself.

I still have to find a few fancy outfits for PR.......I just was not in the mood yesterday to look for clothes. I have 15 days before I go to PR....I still  have time to buy.

The next picture I will post will be from PR celebrating my big "61" Birthday.

Have a good day.

Prayers and Blessings,

Dorothy

[rodless]

This is long but I wanted to share. It says everything I feel about Rod.

SOME PEOPLE

Some people come into our lives

and leave footprints on our hearts

and we are never ever the same.

Some people come into our lives

and quickly go... Some stay for awhile

and embrace our silent dreams.

They help us become aware

of the delicate winds of hope...

and we discover within every human spirit

there are wings yearning to fly.

They help our hearts to see that

the only stairway to the stars

is woven with dreams...

and we find ourselves

unafraid to reach high.

They celebrate the true essence

of who we are...

and have faith in all

that we may become.

Some people awaken us

to new and deeper realizations...

for we gain insight

from the passing whisper of their wisdom

Throughout our lives we are sent

precious souls...

meant to share our journey

however brief or lasting their stay

they remind us why we are here.

To learn... to teach... to nurture... to love

Some people come into our lives

to cast a steady light

upon our path and guide our every step

their shining belief in us

helps us to believe in ourselves.

Some people come into our

lives to teach us about love...

The love that rests within ourselves.

Let us reach out to others

and feel the bliss of giving

for love is far richer in action

that it ever is in words.

Some people come into our lives

and they move our souls to sing

and make our spirits dance.

They help us to see that everything on earth

is part of the incredibility of life...

and that it is always there

for us to take of its joy.

Some people come into our lives

and leave footprints on our hearts

and we are never ever the same.

~~by Flavia Weedn~~

[aprilmoonflower]

mary jo- you actually do look like what I pictured you did in my head. lol.

not much going on here.  though I am busy with 2 small children of course. lol. today I need to clean and then we are making cookies later. I am feeling under the weather some and run down but have lots of projects to finish.  I wish I could sleep but I can't so I might as well stay busy. Also my sewing machine came! yes! so now I must get to work on my etsy stuff! I have way too many ideas! so if you don't hear from me for awhile you know why..not that I can stay away for long..I also am learning how to make cheese this month too! yum!

 

michele- forgot to say I have no advice, but will be reading closely. don't know what I'd do without my kiddos. It makes me wonder why (or how rather) some parents treat thier kids like such crap.  they grow up too soon and life is too short.

[missyouhoney811]

Mary Jo, thanks for sharing....................so beautiful and true to words.

Blessings,

Dorothy

[aprilmoonflower]

btw one of these days we will have to do that sedona trip dorothy! right now it's too cold there though! spring and fall are ideal but it is cheaper in the summer too!

 

btw I  think your son looks just like you!