I Believe in God...

[4everjoeysmom]

Mark, I don't recall my husband talking about electrical courses in seminary. (smile) I'm glad you made it through the hearing, and that you had Jenni's cross by your heart. Thanks for your prayers. I'm in prayer for you as well. Where did you go to Bible college? Michael went to Nyack Missionary College, and then to Presby Seminary in Greenville, SC--although our ministry work is independent, non-denominational. It keeps free from typical barriers. Never been into the whole counting sheep thing. It's so hard to know for sure. God knows though... Michael and I, with another partner are founders of this ministry. January 10 was our first birthday, and we just made official 501c3, so we are truly pumped. We manage a missionary retreat/training facility on 25 acres in the rainforest, owned by the ministry we founded (actually donated entirely to the ministry by an amazing missionary couple who are now 90's and moved back to the States)--It's all truly owned by God; so Spirit led. It's an amazing adventure. Just wish Joey was here to see it--to forgive me for hurting him when I made the decision to come here with Michael to work. My younger som Patrick (23) is much more independent and is amazingly supportive, Joey was mama's boy, and he was on the road to forgiveness; just never got a chance to see this or tell me, though his dad said he planned to come this summer. I know Joey fully understands now and anticipates all who will come to know the Lord through the work from this place. If you ever want to visit Ecuador, there's a room waiting at the inn... Blessings and Love, Claudia

[messenger]

HI CHIRSTY,,,,,,,,I KNOW TODAY WAS VERY HARD ON YOU...........I FEEL THE REASON YOU HEARD THE SONG TO DAY........IS KAGAN IS TRYING TO TELL YOU........HE IS STILL ...............WITH YOU............I HAD THE SAME EXPERIENCE WHEN MY MOM DIED...I TRIED TO FIND A STAIN GLASS OF AN ANGEL CARRYING A GIRL TO HEAVEN..MOM LOVED IT SO I PUT IT IN HER TOMB STONE...I LOOKED EVERY WHERE!! TO TRY TO FIND ANOTHER AND COULDNT............ON MY FIRST BIRTHDAY WITHOUT HER.........I WAS IN NASHVILLE,,IND..AND WENT IN STORE..THEY WERE PLAYING AMAZING GRACE..THEY PLAYED THAT AT HER FUNERAL.......I LOOKED UP IN WINDOW....AND THERE IT WAS!!!!!! THE STAIN GLASS I HAD BEEN LOOKING FOR...I KNEW..MOM WAS LETTING ME KNOW..SHE WAS WITH ME..I BROKE DOWN IN TEARS AND RAN OUT OF THE STORE...

I FOUND GREAT PEACE IN IT...

I AM GLAD TO SEE YOU ARE ON HERE..KNOW WE ALL CARE ABOUT YOU..I KEEP YOU IN MY PRAYERS

MESSENGER.....GERI JAMES MOM

[starchild]

Good Morning Everybody: First I have to thank my higher power for another opportunity to give him praise. He is awesome. This thread gives me such peace in the midst of the storm that is my grief. I read all the time and I always get something that I need out of the postings. Whether it be wisdom, inspiration, strength, or just plain ole' hope. I was blessed to find this site. It's through you that I learn about myself. No matter what I'm feeling, it's a part of the process and even though I'll never be the same, I'll be okay. Pain in natural, suffering is optional. I just pray that all of you are at some measure of peace today. I'm at work so I'll get back later but I just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you. Till then, have a blessed one.

[starchild]

Hi Everybody: As always I have to give thanks to my highest power which I choose to call God for another day underway. My daddy went to the hospital yesterday with chest pains. Looks like another cardiac episode. They moved him to NYU in the city, so its serious. Need everyone to send up a prayer for him. My mom left him when I was young and I made it my business to establish a relationship with him first chance I got .He has been a unlimited source of support since I came back home in 1990 and I love him so much. I don't want to make it about me. I have already accepted the fact that God's will wiil be done, but I am not ready to lose him on top of granddaddy and Stanley. I've started crying so I guess I better go now. I don't plan on drinking or drugging. I can't represent for him like that. But not in the mood for more pain. I haven't even finished processing the other pain yet. Remember to hug your loved ones every chance you get. You never know how long you've got. Have a blessed day. Luv Ya

[lauraa]

Hi Starchild:

I will definitely keep you and your dad in my prayers. Take it once step at a time and keep breathing. Thank you for all you give to me everytime I read your post.

Christy:

I was thinking and praying for you on Kagans day....

Mark:

You are always in my prayers and I can only imagine the stress you are all under at this time.....just know we are all here for you.

I have so many problems right now that have kept me away but I have briefly been reading here without responding just so I can hold you all in my heart.

I think we all need to read about the Job in the bible. It is what I have been struggling with all this time. Why the good get taken down and the bad guys seem to perservere......?

I will keep checking in and I hope you all are doing o.k.

[alwaysmyjennifer]

thanks for the concern and prayers. my heart and depression were messing with me, and my wife had a few bad days. I slept most of the weekend. I did miss one very important detail over the weekend. Ready? Sarah Jennelle Wadsworth was born on January 31st at 9:32 AM. Her mommy, Allison, is Jennifer's half sister. Sarah was due March 25, but chose to make her debut a little early. Allison named her after my daughter Sarah (one of ours we lost to miscarriage) and after her sister Jennifer.

Starchild, my prayers are with you and your dad. I've had some cardiac issues lately too. I'll keep prayers for his health. God loves him and holds him in His loving and powerful hands. Nothing can happen to him outside God's will.

Laura, yeah, poor Job. It's a matter of patience, girl. Steady as to the course you walk, my friend. God shall reward you accordingly. I know He shall. You are a one of a kind friend and soul. Thank you for your caring and encouragement and prayers for my family. We so greatly appreciate you. We are alwyas in prayer for you and yours.

Messenger, they may not be with us, but so very very close... as close as our heartbeat. My prayers are with ya. Mark.

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Claudia, is that the Nyack College that's only about an hour from me in NYC? I know there are a couple. You have the right way of doing the missionary gig. Be responsible to the sending church, not a group of (over)paid managers. Sure, they have their good points, but is this biblical? Capitalism strikes missionary work. When my wife and I were in Bible college, we believed we belonged starting churches. I began Bible college in Canada (and yes, I have a rather prominent accent). My grad school term started in GRBS, Grand Rapids MI, but went to Syracuse. As our health went its merry way, and God led us another, we found He sent me back to my music. What we do is kinda country, blues, rock, fusion, jazz, all rolled into a controlled riot onstage. It gets attention, then we hit them with the Gospel. I find this minstry highly effective in the less affluent areas of inner cities. Yet, if this is where God wants me to work, I'm going to work among these people. There are some who tell me to get a body guard, but I'm not sure about that yet. hehehe. Ecuador? Can I get there by boat? I'm not allowed to fly. My heart has this little problem, so the doctors won't allow my scrawny carcass on a plane. But, I'd be happy to carry a guitar down there and play a song or two. God is One God for us all. I'll keep you in my prayers. God bless ya's. Mark and my gang.

[suelowe]

Mark! You didn't tell me about Allison becoming a mummy! oh wow! Grrr, you crafty thing you.....she was early by the sounds of it too. I hope both mum, dad an baby are doing well anyway!

speak soon...

sue

[4everjoeysmom]

Mark, Yes that's the one! (Nyack) I remember being able to see the towers from the tappan Z bridge. So sad they are no longer there. You could get to Ecuador by boat, but I imagine it would be a slow go. Sorry you can't fly. That muct make traveling a little cumbersome.. Your music sounds great!! I'd love to hear something. Do you have anything published? AMen to working where God leads you, even if it's under the bridges with the homeless of NYC. Doesn'y God say "religion is" ministering to the widows, orphans and the poor? Thanks for your prayers. You have mine as well... You're such a great encouragement. Thank you for that!! Love, Claudia

[starchild]

Good Morning Family: First to give honor and praise to my higest power for another day. I have to thank all of you for the prayers where my father is concerned. He is in a semi-coma but the doctors are expecting him to regain consciousness more sooner than later. I claim victory over this situation in the name of Jesus. I have alot to be grateful for this week. Stanley's son came over and spent the night. I'm always glad to see him and thankful that I am an option for him in his healing process. He's alot like his father in that he internalizes things and I know his death devestated him.

Went to mediation and prevailed in court. God is awesome. I was awarded more than I expected, and now I have some real decisions to make about how how to proceed and keep my motives in check. I'm not trying to hurt anyone, but this is not all that's due me for the losses and damage from the fire.

Mark: Congratulations on the new addition to the family. Sarah is a beautiful name and it sounds like blessings all the way around. Hope you're taking care of yourself and my continued prayers for you and yours.

Laura: Hey! what's up girlfriend. I'm sorry to hear you're struggling, you know you can let go and let God, right? Fear and faith can't live in the same place. And if no one told you today, I luv ya.

I pray for God's strength to guide us

His power to perserve us

His wisdom to instruct us

And his presence to guard us

Please continue to be good to yourselves And until this time next time. Have a blessed one.

[rodless]

Mark - congrats on the baby. I am partial to the name Sarah - my daughter is a Sara. Starchild.. I like the faith and fear quote. It is SO true. you alwasys boost me up with your belief. Mary Jo

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Hey kids, I'm back. Stressful. Can't say what's on my heart tonight. But, thanks for your prayers, and please know that I'm praying for each of you. May peace be given to your hearts. luv yas. Me

[jackiewitter]

Mark,

I don't know if you have seen Claudia's post earlier, check the sibling post. There has been an accident and one of the young men working with them has been injured. Please lift her up in your prayers tonight when you speak with Him. So very much saddness to deal with, sometimes you just wonder how people's hearts keep from breaking in half.

Welcome Sarah, what a joy. And how generous of Allison to name her after both girls. I have a new grandson born 2 weeks before my brother was killed, he grounded me. While I mourned the passing of my most beloved brother, I delighted in the breath of a new grandson. Please tell your wife and all your family that you are all in my prayers. And again, please lift up Claudia and her husband and the young man that has been hurt.

Peace and blessings.

Jackie

[lauraa]

You all are so wonderful. I hope you all know my prayers are filled with all of you daily.

I just have alot on my plate at the present time and have also been lovingly encouraged by my doctor to slow down and rest. Seems the long term stress along with the kids and all the daily grinds are adding up....but, I am doing o.k.

Thank you all for thinking of me.

Mark and Mary....CONGRATULATIONS! You have a beautiful precious baby girl to hold....I love the name. Now when you have the chance to hold her and wear Jenni's necklace, I know you will be totally surrounded with love.

Christy: Kagan loves you and is with you always.

Starchild: Thank you for thinking of me and encouraging me.

Rodless: Sometimes, I just get so worn out that it is tiring to even read....have you or anyone else ever been there?

Love you all.

[rodless]

Laura, As long as we know you're still "with" us.... I understand what you're saying. Somtimes this board lifts me up and sometimes it is a downer knowing there are so many of us out here suffering. We have to know what we can handle at any given time. Take care!! Mary Jo

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Laura, I know how difficult it is to relax and slow down. Part of our healing is learning ways of coping with and mastering stress, and letting this be a part of our strategy for rest. Rest is vital to healing. I'm learning this lesson slowly. If our journeys are anything, they are exhausting, painful, and difficult. Yet, there are places of beauty and rest along the way. Part of our growth and healing is recognizing these and taking advantage of them. My prayers are always with you. Hoping all is well with you and yours, Me

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Starchild, I hope you're doing alright and keeping warm. I'm glad Stanley's son was able to spend some time with you. To be with family and feel the closeness of the family bond is a precious gift. My prayers will abide with your father. Believe. Don't doubt. God will give you the desire of your heart. hugs, Me

[lauraa]

Hey Everyone:

I hope you all are doing o.k. and keeping safe and warm. It has been a very busy couple weeks for me and so today I am going to sneak staying in bed a while longer while the kids are off.......sssssh!

I think of you all each and everyday! Prayers and (((HUG))).

[rodless]

Laura, good for you. It is so hard to get out of bed and face the day sometimes, especially in the winter when it is soooo cold. We might see 30 this weekend. I'm excited! Mary Jo

[starchild]

Hi All, As always I have to give praise to my higher power for all my blessings. Even the ones I don't know about.

My father is in the Lord's hands right now. The loss of oxygen to the brain when he had his attack had his EKG come back without activity. So now we're waiting on his father (103 years old) to come up and see him and then we're' going to take him off the machines. This is so-o-o-ooo hard. My father is his last child and I'm trying not to imagine the worst case scenerio. And what if he lives on without the machines? What a mess. I'm feeling for my stepmom cause I know what she's going through and I'm trying to take my clues from her on what she needs. She's such a strong example of the power but I know this situation is eating her alive. Now I understand first hand what you all have been talking about.

I'm in negotiations with the people to fix my house. I am so sick of looking at it like it is. It's a constant reminder of Stanley's death and the fire and I really need to purge the weight of that burden out of my spirit. Hard to believe it's been 13 months. I still hate how much I miss him, need him, want him. So if it's God's will, the work should be done by the summer and then that part of my psyche can finish healing.

God grant me the serenity

To accept the things I cannot change

The courage to change the things I can

And the wisdom to know the difference

I pray that this finds everyone at some sort of peace. I'll get back as soon as I can. Please continue to be good to yourselves and keep your head up. Luv from me and mine to you and yours.

[alwaysmyjennifer]

starchild, 103? what a blessing! My greatest compliments! Taking care of your house, with such issues, is vital to your emotional health, and to the emotional health of your children. My prayers will be with you through this ordeal.

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Mary Jo, ssshhhh, girl! tee hee. Nuf of this cold. Wonder how cold it is down next door to Claudia? But, I hear they got snakes in that country, big snakes. I don't like sneaky snakes who sneak up and drink my root beer (who remembers that song?). Patience, tho, and we'll be seeing warmer air soon. How's it all going for ya? I'm praying you stay warm, and have all you need in your heart. Jenni's dad

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Laura, it's good that you get a little "extra" rest. You not only deserve it, but it's good for your health. I'm always prayin' for ya, my friend. May the emotions be gentle and calm for you. Jenni's dad

[rodless]

Mark, I actually took my garbage out today without bundling up like an Eskimo. More snow overnight thanks to an "Alberta clipper" ... darn Canadian weather! But I bet you northeast people know all about those, too! Have a peacful Sunday.

Starchild, my family faced a similar situation several years ago when my dad had his heart attack. We had to disconnect and sign papers...very hard to give up. That was my first experience with losing a close family member. I am so sorry that you are going through this while you are still dealing with the loss of Stanley. God supposedly doesn't give us anymore than we can handle so all you cna do is lean on his strength and use it as yours.

Somedays (most day) I pray for all the grieving people in the world. I seem to know too many to list names. You all are included in that group. Mary Jo

[4everjoeysmom]

Starchild, You are in my prayers. I too believe the Lord doesn;t give us anything that He also doesn;t equip us to handle. Put on the full Armor of God girlfriend. He's with you, and He's good all the time.

Mark, It's perpetually 75 degrees here it seems. And I haven't seen any BIG snakes yet, just a couple around that can't really be referred to as sneaky either. I do remember that song! Tom T Hall if my memory serves me correctly.

Mary Jo, I was thinking just yesterday how nice it is not to have to bundle up. Glad you had an eskimo free-day. Love & prayers, all. -Claudia

[kagansmommy]

Now I have that sneaky snake song stuck in my head. The last two summers we have killed rattle snakes in the yard. One of them was in our barn right behind the house. We came home from fishing one night about midnight and a copperhead chased me down the sidewalk. Good thing I can run faster than he slithers. We kill copperheads all the time though. They try to eat Kagan's froggies so it worries me that they get that close to the house. I hate snakes~!!

Mark~thank you for the froggie. I was having a bad round last night missing my little man and that put a smile on my face.

Starchild~I have you and your family in my prayers. That is a tough decision to make.

Mary Jo~I don't even want to think about the weather you must have up there. We have been down in the single digits here in Southern Indiana and that is cold enough for me.

Laura~It's always nice to sneek in a few extra hours of sleep isn't it? I hope all is well with you.

You are all in my thoughts and prayers.

Christy

"I love you Kagan"

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Sorry to stick visions of rattlers in your noggin' Christy. Yuck! Eeeewww! I hate snakes. The thought of you being chased by a copperhead is scary! Well, the good news is at least we're getting out of this winter freezing stuff, eh? Someone needs to off that gopher. hehehe. But, wait. That means back to snake season. . . Call one of those people on the Discovery Channel, and see if they'd be willing to shoo the snakes in exchange for a TV show. Awwww, Christy's a star! The snake charmer. Well, we all think you're charming. luv ya. Luv ya, Kagan!

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Claudia, You're right! Tom T. Hall. Poor ol' Sneaky Snake slithering around, trying to take everyone's root beer. hehehe. That was back when a song could be cute and funny. I like the warm weather you're having there. Lots better than here... brrrr. We keep you all in our constant prayers. Jenni's dad

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Mary Jo, be patient. This winter thing is nearly done. Hallelujah! I don't like that rodent gopher! Spring shows up on March 21 whether we like it or not. It don't warm up til much later. Brrr. Keep praying. It keeps the mind off the freezing cold. We're all in this together. luv ya my friend, Jenni's daddy

[kagansmommy]

Yesterday morning at 5 am the temp was 19 and everything was covered in snow and ice. By noon it was 42 and a high for the day of 51 degrees. This morning at 5 am it was 43 degrees. This weather is crazy and everyone will be sick AGAIN.

I went out to feed Kagan's fish in his pond and found a little froggie graveyard. All the frogs that hibernated in his pond died again this year. I guess the temps got so low for so long that even with the heater they couldn't take it. I was so upset.

I hope everyone has a great day~!!

Christy

"I love you Kagan"

[rodless]

Beautiful day, almost 50. Same through the week with rain, then sleet, then snow for the weekend so I am enjoying it. By July I will be complaining about the heat...and enough for the weather reports. It really affects my mood so I am a weather junkie. Lots of garter snakes in my woodpile. My neighbor recues them and takes them to his farm garden. I don't mind them. I got a kick out of remembering the song. I am doing a Hospice grief group, a wellness eating class and a Bible study about the importance of prayer. Might as well take care of all areas of my life and hit spring with a new outlook. Hope all are having a good day. Mary Jo

[lauraa]

Hey Everyone:

Hope you are all surviving these low temps. Yesterday it was 25 below with the wind chill factor....then, today in the 40's. The weather is sort of like our lives right now...all over the place! I have been very busy with lots of different things over the past couple weeks and it has worn me out, once again. Seems with each thing I need to deal with it reminds me of my husband and I miss him so. Can't tell if it's exhaustion or depression taking hold or maybe they go "hand in hand". As much as I try it just seems to follow me. I really and truely take it one day at a time. My therapist will be gone the entire month of March so that will be a challenge...we can and will talk on cell phone, though.

I hope you are all doing good. I know each day is a challenge for all of you. If I had the power I would take all your suffering and pain away. I hope just knowing that you have a friend in me helps just alittle.

Your "all" always in heart and prayers.

(((XOXOXOXOXOXO)))

[starchild]

Good Morning Everyone; First I have to give praise to my heavenly father for another day underway. And to thank him for his grace,(things I got that I didn't deserve)his mercy,(things I didn't get that I did deserve) and his love which is conconditional.

Well, my sister, nephew and family and my grandfather came in last night safe and sound. Thank God. That was another set of worries with them driving up from S.C. Grandpa seemed to take it all in stride. Since he is a faithful servant, his peace helped calm everyone's fears about the whole situation. I also got to meet my step-sister and she's interesting. So they took daddy off the machinery and for now he's breathing on his own. We'll see what happens from here. I thank all of you for the prayers and well wishes. It's all up to the master now.

Hope this finds everyone at a measure of peace and please remember to have patience with yourselves. As Laura reminds us, the journey ain't over. Till this time next time, have a blessed one. Luv ya.

Christy: When I saw this I thought of you

F--fully

R--rely

O--on

G--God

[alwaysmyjennifer]

I've been a bit quiet, and I'm sorry. Too much exhaustion, too much stress, and too many details. Sarah, sweet angel, Aunt Jennifer will care for you well. Some medical issues are a little easier on the homefront, although we still have to face the fact that disease is always what it is. I'm thankful for friends. Thanks for your prayers. I can't put into words how much this means.

[lauraa]

Sometimes......I feel that I could just die from the grief. Now, I can clearly see why it takes so damn long and how our psychics protect us by numbing ourselves. Today is one of those days tht I feel overwhelmed and I have felt it build for weeks now.

Oh dear Lord.........there are days when I feel I can't bare it any longer. I am tired of being strong for everyone else.....I am so tired and empty.

Does anyone else ever feel this way?

You all are my extended family and I carry you with me each and everyday. Please know you are not alone.

[starchild]

Good MOrning All; As always I have to thank my higher power for another opportunity to give honor and praise and for all my blessings.

Well it's over, my daddy passed away on Friday evening. He was strong and he hung on for a while. I am so grateful that we had a chance to get to know and love each other. So many feelings....I'm having a hard time keeping them in check. Both my guys are gone now. I told Stanley that Daddy was on his way. They were close and I know he'll get in contact with him. It seems like my world is getting smaller and my issues are getting bigger. I don't know if I can keep bouncing back from all these losses. It's taking a toll and I don't like feeling like this. I hope my heart and mind are prepared. I guess this is where my faith will have to carry me through. They say God doesn't put any more on you than you can handle, but sometimes I wish he didn't trust me so much. Crying too much now, gotta go. Remember to be good to yourselves. My prayers for all. Till then, love ya.

[lauraa]

Starchild:

I am so very sorry that you are hurting so bad. I also lost my dear dad within 6 months of my husband. I know how you are feeling. I lost my two best friends in the whole world. The two guys that supported me and that I leaned on the most in this world are gone. I still cry for them both everyday.

I know your dad and Stanley are together. I have to believe that is true and it does give me some peace.

Please know that you have a friend in me and one that totally understands what you feel and are going through.

You are in my prayers.

[kagansmommy]

Starchild, Friday was the third anniversary of my fathers death. Like Laura, I know how you are feeling right now. Keep your spirits up and know that everyone here is praying for you.

Christy

"I love you Kagan"

[rodless]

Starchld, I am sorry about your dad. I lost mine several years ago. It's hard when a part of your childhood is gone. Evidently, God does trust you as he has given you a load. Cry the tears you need to and stay strong. We are all with you in spirit and prayer.

Laura, I am sitting here saying a special prayer for you also. I know what you mean about tired and empty. Seems like a way of life with no end in sight sometimes. Tears are a release but I'm sick of them too..amazing how many can fall. Try to do something special for yourself.

Here's hoping spring will soon be here with at least some sunshine above us. That always helps my heart. Mary Jo

[4everjoeysmom]

Starchild, I too am so very sorry for your loss. I know the struggles I've had with my own dad and how grateful I am that since adulthood I have worked hard and our relationship is wonderful today. I know when I lose him it will hurt so badly. I can't know your pain today, but I can imagine it, and it hurts to think about it. I'm so sorry, and I'm so thankful you have a strong faith.

I too always believed the Lord doesn't give us what we can't handle. But since I've gone through the death of my precious son 7 months ago, I realized it isn't that at all. God doesn't trust me. I don't trust myself, and I have not found one place in Scripture where God speaks to trusting mankind. But I do trust Him. And I know that he will not give me anything more to handle than He equips me to handle it with. And if temptation should be presented by the enemy, God always presents a way out. The deeper I step into faith and trusting Him, the more He will give me, because HE CAN HANDLE IT. I cannot take a single bit of credit for strength or what God gives me, because that would glorify me and I am not worthy of that. It is all from God to glorify Him. He is equipping me to live through this pain, and I trust Him that He will continue to equip me, simply through His grace. Thus said, it takes so much pressure off of myself to think I must be strong and responsible with what God gives me. That doesn't mean I will be or should be irresponsible. It just means I can trust that His Help ALWAYS comes in my time of need. Isn't that a cool thing to think about and reflect on? It has given me tremendous comfort and peace when I feel "not so strong"...

2Co 12:9 And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.

Love & Hugs, Claudia

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Laura, even though I've been a bit underneath it all by catching this viral whatever (achoo! cough!), I'm here for you, and always keep a prayer for you. When you are in the depths of the moment, it's difficult to see the surface of where you're going to be someday. Try to keep sight of your destination, healing. Plan for it, set goals to reach it, and when the world tosses a curve ball, just make a slight adjustment. For the present, things are going along nicely in our home. My sweetie is hurting, but having a good day. Business is doing okay, so far. Now, take real good care of yourself, and please, spoil yourself just a wee bit. You're worth it. luvz, hugz, Jenni's daddy

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Starchild, I am so very deeply sorry for the pain you feel, and your whole family feels, in losing your dad. We are all here for you, and we all hold you in our prayers and thoughts. If we can help you, please feel free to ask. We're friends here, held by the bond of what we share in common, our sorrow. May God fill your heart with peace. Hold onto your faith, which can raise you from your pain to stand strong again. luv and hugs, Jenni's dad

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Hi MaryJo, oooo, sunshine! Maybe it can melt some of the ice. Soon, spring will be here. Soon, it'll be spring, and we'll be able to go fishing. I can't wait to be able to get the boat on the lake. Take care of yourself. My prayers are with you. hugs, Jenni's dad

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Hi Claudia, it's beautiful to know we possess a peace that surpasses all understanding. Even though I've been a bit ill, I've kept you in my prayers every day. May He bless His servants. Jenni's dad

[lauraa]

Starchild:

I am so sorry for your loss and you are in my prayers. Remember, we we pass on, we truely only shed our physical bodies and our spirits live on forever. I know the pain and lonliness you are feeling and I will keep you close to my heart. I hope you can get alittle peace here from all you pals......Crying is good! Cleansing and healing!

Mark: I am so glad to hear things are better in you neck of the woods. You guys are real troopers and I know god is holding you all in the palm of his hands.....

If I may ask you all to keep me in your prayers this next week for strength I would really appreciate it. I have some huge challenges to face that are deeply emotional concerning my husbands passing......I need to be strong and raise up to get through it....I would really appreciate it!

To all...you are all in my heart daily and I love you all.

[4everjoeysmom]

Mark, Thank you for your prayers. I know you have a very bumpy ride, and I have been praying for you as well.

Laura, I am lifting you in prayer... Love & Hugs, Claudia

[rodless]

Laura, you are always on my prayer list along with everyone on this board, but I will say a special one that you find the strength and courage to face what you need to. God will be with you. I know I sometimes try to do too much myself and forget to lean on the promises. Don't forget... there is a solid rock for us all. Bless you! Mary Jo

[jackiewitter]

Mark, I was just led to that scripture the other night. I am moving into a more peaceful place right now. Thank God. I don't know when the next wave will hit me, but right now I am just floating with it. I believe it was the culmination of events that led me to the scripture. (within 2 weeks I received the investigation results on the 6 month anniversary date of my brothers death, my older brother and I cleaned out Jeff's apartment and the following day was Jeff's birthday). Through all the sorrow there were also the actual tasks that had to be addressed. Afterward I began to try and figure out what exactly I wanted from God, besides my brother back. I knew that it was the same thing that I wish for everyone here, peace. In whatever form that comes from. Peace that we can lay down at night and rest our tired minds and peace that patches our broken souls. That's what led me to the scripture, the peace that passeth understanding. I don't know why my brother was taken, or Jenni or Joey, or all the many other wonderful people that are now gone from our sight, but I have the peace that He gave me that all is well. He has control of everything that takes place and I am comfortable with that...who am I to argue right? I have read many many many of your post, to the point that I almost feel invasive, but my heart aches for you and I pray that you find the strength that you need. I pray tonight that you too have peace and prepare for tomorrow and the next days. May God watch over you and yours. Peace and blessings. Jackie

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Laura, thanks. It's better. A new med regimen is helping my hon with her pain, and with staying alert days and sleeping nights. Much better. We have many changes coming, all for the better. Even with the inevitible we must face, I pray and expect this to be a good year. I'm always praying for you, your children, and all you have to go through. There's a lot of weight on your shoulders, and in a while, you'll be carrying less. Remember, nothing can separate you from God's love. hug to a friend, Jenni's dad

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Claudia, thanks for the prayers. Those prayers of the righteous do yield great results. As I told Laura, a med change has been helping my sweetie, and it looks like this makes the new house a reality. I wasn't going to bother if she was going to worsen and need more care. I always wanted to give her the best of everything, including this one dream she's had since we were dating (that was soooo long ago - hehehe). Ever stop to think of how much marriage is about the "thee" we wed, and not about the "I" who said I do? She truly is everything to me, and I'm nothing without her. If I tend to dote on about her too much, please tell me. I'm head over heels in love with that woman. I know it's not easy to be where you are, doing what you're doing, while you face the pain and emotions of losing your son. But, I also know the love and mercy in God's heart. He will hold you in a constant embrace, and always give you everything you need for each moment. We keep you in our prayers. Your work, missions, is an important work in our hearts. Take care, and may keep you strong for His service. Jenni's dad