I Believe in God...

[rodless]

This is the day the Lord has made...rejoice and be glad in it. I keep telling myself that as I walk my dog in -18 degree weather and hear the forecast for snow again tomorrow. Winter is getting to me this year although a pretty, fairly warm (at least 20 degrees with sun) winter day is something I enjoy. We can't always choose our circumstances but I guess we can try to do our best to appreciate the good things....so I'll remember I have a funny little dog who makes me laugh and a car that starts and I will rejoice! Hope you're all having a good day. Mary Jo

[misshimstill]

MJ,

I agree with that!  Finding the little things to rejoice in... 

I like a good winter day, too, but the kind of weather you have is not in that category for me.  Here in central Texas, a cold day is 40s in the day and freezing at night.  Much colder than that, people around here get grumpy if it lasts more than two days.  They were telling us on the weather last week that we might - just might - get some sleet, and all the kids, big and little, old and young were so excited!  Our winters don't even get cold enough to kill the bugs.

But in the spring when it's nice and "springy" for you, it'll already be hot here.  That's when I want to run away to Colorado! 

Have a good day!  ~Oneta

[armaiti]

Mary Jo, I agree too...in our Sufi practice there is a prayer we say before meals:  "O Thou the Sustainer of our bodies, hearts and souls, Bless all that we receive in thankfulness".

That's a hard one sometimes, when you're in our shoes, living without our beloveds next to us...yet always with us.  There was downy woodpecker at my birdfeeder a while ago, I'm warm and have enough food while many do not, and I've known the love of my true soulmate, and still know it, while others go through this life alone...so I do my best to "bless all I receive in thankfulness!"

Blessings,

Anna

[rodless]

Thank you God for this beautiful sunny day...it has lifted my spirits! MJ

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Hi CLaudia, It's like a forever since I've been here, I know. Last year, going through remembering the day of Jenni's passing from this physical realm did me in. I sunk into a deeper grief than I've ever felt for anyone ever ... even more than from losing the one who raised me, my grandfather. It was my grandparents who did most of the work of raising me, and I'm thankful to God for them and the values they gave me. The depression of losing Jenni hit me pretty hard. While I didn't make it to the beach where she went missing, I did get to places of importance to her life. I also became involved in the "process" about an issue about the one who took her life, which put him back on death row (long story - later).

I just logged on here and read a little of the dreams, which I would never speak against, for I've been blessed with many concerning my dear grandfather's life and all he taught me about God and faith. Since I endured another heart attack last September, I've also been having more of them concerning Jenni. Personally, I think our dreams are significant in showing the depth of love we have for these precious people in our hearts, and it shows that love is forever enduring. Although my health required my absence here, my prayers have been with you and yours. May God's richest blessings be with you. with love from His servant, Mark

[4everjoeysmom]

Oh Dear Mark!  I am SO HAPPY to hear a word from you.  I e-mailed you.  I hope you got it.  I tried several times before, but never got through, I think.  I too have been praying for you...always.  I miss you.  I was shocked to discover how your previous 6 months or so have been, and I'm so sorry for that deep pain and the physical challanges as well with the herat attack, your wife's illness and all.  Please come back and stay in touch when energy allows.  I sure do miss you, my friend and brother.  BIG HUGS!!!  -Claudia

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Hi Claudia! After all I went through last fall and most of this winter, I've been offline so much that I came back online to find that my email addy vanished into some black hole. That's okay. Try me at the studio - madratmusic72@yahoo.com. Yep, still the same half crazy guy as always (hehehe). But, I know God loves me even in spite of my funky ways. I don't like being sidelined. It's nice to be back in circulation and doing what it is God has for me to do. It's good beyond words to be back here! I miss our friends here and the path we share as we try to heal. I do look back in wonder at six months and think that it didn't really feel like six..... more like a lifetime. A lot of other jazz happened concerning Jenni in 07, and most negative. Yet, God did some amazing things through all the painful and negative human parts. My prayers are always with you, and I know He is with you along your journey. Hugs, Me

[4everjoeysmom]

Mark, I'll catch up on the new e-mail addy soon.  My e-mail to matrat,,LOL,,did bounce back.  I'm just so glad you are back.  You have been dearly missed...  Hugs, Claudia

[starchild]

Hi :

  First as always I have to thank my higher power for another day underway. Wow I can't believe it's been so long since I posted. I hope that everyone is coping to the best to the best of their ability.  Although some quality healing has taken place, some things haven't changed.  I still hate how much I miss my baby.   The reality of losing my husband weighed so heavily on me until I was honestly losing perspective. But  I do have a testimony on how fear and faith can't live in the same place.  And turning to a power greater than mine has given me a chance to survive my loss.  Stanley's 2nd angel day was Jan 13 and I made a conscious decision to find a place for my feelings this year.  A place that I can be comfortable with so that I can breathe....think.....function again.  I think I've finally accepted that the next time I see him will be on the other side. And its the foundation I built with this site and my faith and my sobriety that makes life at least tolerable on a daily basis.   I needed to get back and talk with the people who are struggling like me to hold on and let go at the same time.  To us to whom much is given, much is required, so I want to be there if I can.  Hoping a blessed day for all. 

[4everjoeysmom]

Starchild, a BIG welcome back to you!  It has been a long time.  I'm glad to hear that there has been some healing for you, and that this past angel date you were able to do something good for your heart.  Like you, I think we're all in that constant holding on and releasing...  You're an inspiration, and it's good to see you're back.  Blessings, Claudia

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Hi Claudia, I had to skip out of town for a little. More like, I was out of country again. My brother in law died. While on the road, this odd feeling hit me, that it's not the "old" people, but "my" generation leaving this world.  Um, I'm not thaaaaat old (hehehe) but, I'm not that young either.  If you'd be so kind's to pray for my sis - she's really hurting now. Thanks, my friend. Past all this, things are going okay in our fam, considering. I'm falling asleep (long trip) so I'll write more details tomorrow. Have a good nite. Hugs, Me

[4everjoeysmom]

Mark, I will certainly pray for your sister, and as always you and your family.

I know what you mean about "my generation".  A good friend e-mailed me several days ago to tell me one of our dear and longtime friends passed away, suddenly, unexpectedly, with a brain annurysm.  He was 54.  I guess I'm not as shocked anymore as I would have been before, when mortality stares you down like that.  After losing a child, as you know, there is something more urgent that comes to play in knowing that no generation is immune to mortality.  Although, it is always sad to see the number of friends decreasing as we yet are here.  I look forward to the "family reunion" in Heaven.  I really do.

Hope your sleep came last night and that you are able to get some much needed rest.  Take care of you!  Hugs and Prayers, Claudia

[jackiewitter]

Mark!!!!!  How exciting it is to see your post again.  You were here alot when I first joined and I have prayed and prayed for you and your health issues and most certainly for your wife. 

I came here tonight to ask for prayers from my dear friends, but instead I got a delightful surprise....Mark is back!  I am just so very glad to see that you and family are still hanging in there as best as you can.  Again, my prayers are with you all.

I am still going to ask for prayers.  Tomorrow is Jeffrey's birthday and my youngest son will leave to go back to Iraq.  I had to make a trip to the island today for business purposes and it just didn't sit well with me.  Jeffrey's best friend died a couple of weeks ago and it has been heavy on my heart.  He was just a few months younger than Jeffrey and the circumstances of his death were not the best.  Just seems that in this walk it is two steps forward an one step back....unfortunately it's a giant step back! 

I hope that you continue on your forward path and that God will hold you and your precious wife close to Him.  Peace and blessings, Jackie

[4everjoeysmom]

Jackie, I am praying for you.  I pray that God gives you a special dose of tender mercies on Jeffrey's birthday.  I'm so sorry it includes your son going back to Iraq.  He is in my prayers.  I know it must be difficult for him, as well as for you.  Love & HUGS, Claudia

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Claudia, thank you for praying. As my dear sis plans things about this week, our fam is slowly trickling in, and I'm enjoying the company. We're not really a close family, but it's nice to see them. Yes, thank you, I was able to get a very good night of sleep (finally - smiling), and I feel quite well today. It's nearly midnight, and per norm for me, I'm up and running (I usually work at night). I spent some time today in awe looking at an old photo of Jenni, oh, when she was about twelve.  Just a scrawny twig of a girl, but sooooo beautiful! She looks so much like her mother - but with daddy's eyes. Last year was abysmal, going through the trial all over again, and having to hear attorneys dredge up her life so poorly (it was something no father should ever her his little girl being called). This is the reason I went into my little secluded temper tantrum. I had to grieve and somehow find my peace within this torment. My apologies for the rambling and droning. The pain of it all is bad, but I feel I at least owe you some explanation of my Houdini act. Such is why I ended up having a heart attack - the stress of all they put her precious memory through ran me ragged. I pray you are well today and able to enjoy our Lord's blessings. I'm with you on looking forward to our reunion day in Heaven, when we can be free of the worry and stress and pain that seems to overshadow so many things. In spite of this, I do feel like I'm starting to return to my old self, cuz I can say that even the pain I endured at that trial was somehow directed by God for good ... somehow. Hugs, Me

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Hi Jackie! Yep, I'm back. I just couldn't stay away too long. A lot went down last year, and it was so painful that I couldn't bear to be all that sociable. I'm sorry for that. They put Jenni's case through trial - again. Some things that came out in trial made me so sick that I couldn't stand it. Jenni's MY child, not what they called her. My prayers are with you and your family for peace of mind while you have one in Iraq. It's not only rough on them, but on the family back home too. May God give you all peace. Please take good care of yourself. Now that I'm back in circulation and feeling more like my usual crazy self, we'll be able to talk more. Hope you get to have a good day. I'll talk with you again tomorrow nite. hugs, Me

[4everjoeysmom]

Mark,  I'm so sorry for what you had to endure through the trial.  There are usually trial lawyers that specialize in making one feel depraved, degraded, humiliated, and worthless (at the least) when they are on a mission to win at all cost.  You know Jenni was none of what they portrayed.  I think of the woman that stood before a crowd that was planning to stone her to death, and Jesus saying, "You without sin cast the first stone", and the crowd being instantly convicted that they make judgement easily on others but fail to recognize that they are human too.  It unfortunately affects us so poorly, emotionally, when someone we love is judged so poorly and harshly--especially someone we've lost.  They are sacred to us, and we want them to be sacred to everyone.  But in a trial such as you witnessed, nothing is sacred.  It's a real shame, truly.  Who is to say in what way God will use this to bring glory to himself in the long run.  Perhaps that lawyer or others who cast like judgement would experience some kind of trial in their life along the way that will bring them reeling back to those moments in that courtroom, and they will learn the true MERCY of God.  I only wish you didn't have to physically suffer with teh heart attack.  But maybe that was God's way of slowing you down.  You seem like a "can't sit still" kind of guy...Type A perhaps?    I pray you have found peace with all of that pain from the trial, and know that God's mercy is so GREAT!  Here is a Scripture for you.  Blessings and love, in Christ, Claudia

Isa 63:9 In all their affliction He was afflicted, And the angel of His presence saved them; In His love and in His mercy He redeemed them, And He lifted them and carried them all the days of old.

[jackiewitter]

Mark & Claudia

Thank you so kindly for the prayers.  As it was last year, the day has started out on a decent note and I will try to focus on the wonderful things that we used to do.  I smile thinking of Jeffrey in heaven with our parents and now his best friend. 

Since I joined I have gone back and read of your precious daughter and my heart is with you.  I have two girls and two boys, and it seems right after Jeffrey's death I had these horrible fears that would just crop up out of no where, fear for my kids safety.  Much of that has passed and I know that God watches over them, and as sad as it is I know God will pull them into His bosom if something tragic happens.  I know God is so good, because I think of some of the horrible things that have happened and I know that without Him, I would just break in half.  While I cannot imagine the pain that you have been through, I am sure that you must know the same, without Him, you too would probably just crawl somewhere and give it up. 

It is sad that Jenn has been drug through so much again and I am so sorry for that.  I know you have in your heart the blessed knowledge of who she was and how very precious she was.  I understand parts of it, while no where near as tragic and violent, the investigators tried to blame many of the causes for Jeffrey's accident on him.  The end result is the same, but you at least want your loved one honored, they are not here to defend themselves and you are all they have left to carry out their memory/legacy.  Not to mention that it's almost like starting all over again with the pain.

I know that it bears little comfort, but the loss of the precious people have also opened doors.  I am quite sure that had I not found this site and not connected with such wonderful people I would be a basket case, raging lunatic alcoholic, or not here at all.  My gratitude to you, Claudia, Diane (loss of sibling) and so many others.  Do you know that one of the girls from here sent packages to my son in Iraq.  That's true compassion! 

My prayers and most sincere gratitude are sent to you.  Hugs right back to you both.  Peace and blessings, Jackie

[alwaysmyjennifer]

If I make a mess of spelling mistakes, it's from all the tears after reading the sweet words you both wrote.  THank you. None of us needs or deserves to hear such things, and for sure our children are far too precious to earn such titles. They are God's gift and heritage; we are simply entrusted with their care and training for His service. Four kids, eh? Cool! I have six still, four girls, two boys. They're all adults, save one, and he's in high school. They just grow up too fast! :shock: It's like two days ago I was my son's age, and now I'm being called Grandpa! What happened? hehehe. I know those fears you talked about. It's like a sudden forboding of something dreadful, but yet unfounded. I seem to get them a lot, and especially now that we had to go through all this again. Thanks for praying,  and I'm always praying for you. Take each day, or each moment as it happens. God will get you through it all.  "I won't leave you comfortless. I will send you the Comforter".  I'll be out of town for two days, maximum. I'm going to spend some time with my sis. She's going through it pretty bad now. I don't know what'll happen with my presence among the family there, but I'm going anyway. I'm not the most welcome person in their eyes. As you know, we're not a very close family, but a family isn't something we pick (this from the guy who adopted two kids).

luv yas, Me

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Good morning, all.  I backed my rig into the drive a few minutes ago. A bit tired, but that's okay - I have all day to sleep (men do love darkness, right? hehehe). My sis is doing okay for the moment. It's not yet setting in what's really happened. That numb stage. Thank you for the prayers. I'm going back in a few days for a memorial, then I'll be back to settle back into the work at home - otherwise, the band will begin to wonder where I am. I do need to get ready for a few gigs coming up soon. I hope all is well with you all, and my prayers are always with you. Claudia, I keep you in prayer while you serve our Lord there. Your reward is great. hugs to all, Me

[4everjoeysmom]

Mark, You will continue to be in my prayers as well.  And your sister...

Maybe by the time our summer S-T Mission season starts, I'll get a copy of some music you wrote??  I would lov ethat, maybe carried over by one of the groups if you can afford to send a CD??? 

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Claudia, of course you may have a copy! I'll get one to you as soon as possible - as soon as I get one from the mastering people. My wife and I met in Bible college while studying for ministry, and praying about missionary work. Our hearts have always been devoted to helping missionaries as much as we can. This is such a big world and there's so much work to be done. I believe each and every one of us saints has a job to do in evangelism. Maybe entertainment isn't the most "normal" form of evangelism, but it's where I believe God put me, and I feel natural here. With my guitar in hand, I can talk about our Savior all day and night and not stammer once. Without my guitar, I'm very shy. Go figure??? hehehe. Dr Jeckyl, Mr Hyde. I pray you and you're hubbie are having a great day there. May our Lord bless you both and protect you from the enemy. luv, Mark

[4everjoeysmom]

Mark, THANK YOU.  I have to tell you that music ministry plays a VERY crucial role in mine and my husband's lives and work here.  Sometimes we use music to minister to others.  But often times music ministers to us, no matter the circumstance.  I have used music to lift my spirits, for focus in intercessory prayer, for an energy boost as I serve others, for numerous occasions I cannot even begin to name them all without writing a book.  Music ministry is no small gift.  It is more relevant today, in times and cultures where language barriers are common.  Everyone loves music--or most everyone.  Do NOT sell yourself short.  It is a VERY SPECIAL gift from God that you have.  And the fact that you use that gift to serve Him, YOU bring much glory to God.  Bless you, My Brother!  Love, Claudia  

[grannyc]

THIS IS A WONDERFUL BOARD!!!!

But, I lost my Husband of 37 years, 19 months ago.   I only read of parents losing children on this board.   But, it is so freeing to be able to receive support and Godly, Scripturally upheld!

Sorry if I strayed to a wrong board, GrannyCheryl   :?

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Grannyc, I'm sorry for your loss. Our losses here are spouses, loves, children, parents, siblings, and more. I've been on this thread for several years and have talked with those who have lost so many in their lives. The most important thing is that we're here for each other, to listen and share our time and wisdom, to help each other along this journey of healing, and to share our faith as we go. When I came here so long ago, it was because my wife had been newly diagnosed with a terminal illness. Funny how these things go, cuz she's still with me, although her health is very poor. Along my way, I found that I had become a dad at the age of 13, and my daughter Jenni had been killed. She was raped and beaten to death. I hope you find hope and strength here with us, not that it comes from us, but from the Lord. Our prayers will be with you in your journey. May His peace be upon you. Mark

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Claudia, I guess I'm not so much trying to say selling myself short as much as showing the paradox of my personality. Onstage, I'm a wildcat, a hyper three year old junked up on sugar. Offststage, I'm very mellow, quiet (maybe shy???). I'm not the sort to walk up to people and start talking, unless I have a guitar. It's my security blanket??? hehehe. I agree with you on the roll of music in worship and in ministry. I'm not in this for the glamour (there's not much of that, believe me) but only to serve our Lord. My take on it all is this. . . God gave each and every saint a talent and gift, and He wants us each to use it for His glory. When we use our own gifts and talents for Him, and not try to be what someone else is, then we succeed and honor our Lord... and that means even if I'm supposed to be this "blues gospel musician" (what a paradox - the gospel? the blues? yeesh!). At any rate, I'm always praying for you. May His peace and protection be yours. Hugs, Mark

[grannyc]

(Thanx group) this feels like a very comfortable site!

I'll be here with you!

The Lord Bless Each of You!

Cheryl

[4everjoeysmom]

Cheryl, I have followed your posts at times on The Miss Him SO board, and I have been sad for you in times when you have felt isolated because of your faith.  There are folks of many faiths that come here too, because it doesn't clearly say God of The Holy Scriptures--but there are some of us here likeminded and hearted with you, so do not be discouraged but feel loved and welcomed.  mark says it best, we are here as support and comfort for one another trough difficult times--and it is never here about battling in the religions, per se.  I am sorry for your loss...  My mom is currently losing her husband to dreaded Alzheimer's, and I ache so much for the pain she is going through.

Mark, AMEN BROTHER!  I am with you on the God given gifts and talents and using them for HIS GLORY!

[jackiewitter]

Cheryl,  Hi!  I just wanted to welcome you also.  I am not a grieving spouse or mother, but a sister and daughter.  I lost my family in 2001, 2004 & 2006.  First my mom, then dad and then an industrial accident took my brother.  While raised as a Christian, the loss of my parents, whom I love dearly, did not affect me in the same was as loosing my brother.  I felt angry, lost, abandoned and could not understand why God would allow an accident to take him from me.  I needed him...why would I be left here without them...  I found this site while trying to find answers, I am sure that my God led me here; there's no doubt in my mind.  While I chose to stay away from this forum because I was so angry, apparently God led our dear friend Claudia to the Sibling post.  The connection was immediate and even through my anger; I knew that God would not let me down.  He provided friends to walk with me and to help me find my way back to Him. 

Mark, I hope everything is well with you.  I am just delighted to see your post again.  You just have such a way with words and your wit!  I have missed you tremendously.  Give your wife our best and please let her know she is in our prayers.  May God hold you both close to Him.  Peace and blessings, Jackie

 

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Jackie, we can't always understand the whys and wherefores of our loved ones leaving us in the ways they do, but we do know that God has a way of getting our attention and bringing us back to His love and into His arms. Thank you for what you said about my "way with words". My past wasn't easy or pleasant, and it gave me a lot to be thankful for and it also gave me a reason to show compassion to others. I'm sorry for so much loss that you've been through. Keep your faith as strong as you can, and know that He'll do the rest. It only takes the faith as big as a grain of mustard seed to do great things. My prayers are with you. hugs, Mark

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Hey Cheryl, here's one from the long lost stranger - we're always here for you. I know last year really did me in emotionally, as you all saw from my vanishing act, but now that I'm out of that funk, I feel more like myself, able to help others as I've been doing. As Christians, our task is to care for those who have lost spouses and parents (James 1:27). Somehow, I believe God intends for us to care also for those who have lost their children too, even though it's not written out by James. I'm praying for you constantly. May He pour peace out for you. hugs, Mark

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Claudia, I began to cry after I saw what you wrote. I pulled in from my sister's yesterday, really late, but while there, had the chance meeting with an old friend of mine who recently lost his wife to alzheimers. As I sat with him, through his tears he said 'at least I know I'll be with her again and forever'. It's painful and difficult to go through these things with the one we love. I've been going through the dystrophy with my wife for several years, watching her deteriorate so badly. Sometimes, I have wanted her to be in Heaven so she wouldn't have to hurt anymore, but then, I just can't bear to see her go. I know I'm going to miss her more than I can ever begin to put into words. After being with her all these years, rightly so. We'll be praying for your mom and her hubbie, and all they have to go through every day. I don't have any kind of answer why, but I know God is always walking beside us while we go through these things. our love is with you, Mark

[4everjoeysmom]

Thank you, Mark, SO MUCH for what you said, and always for your prayers.  I just don't know how people even want to go on without God, or how they can...  If my mom didn;t have the comfort of knowing one day there is Heaven and no more of this pain of birth and death...and the pain in between...  Her nightmare really has just begun, as since I was there in December the disease and dimentia of it has progressed so rapidly.  She can't care for him at home now, and it seems like there was no in-between stage.  It just went from moderate forgetfullness to full blown seizures, strokes, loss of cognitive function and what have you.  I think she's still in shock.  But I do know she feels so very lonely and isolated.  This is the grief we are so familiar with...it hurts so much......

[grannyc]

Gosh, ((Everyone))

This walk is hard, isn't it?   Lotz of work to try to get something out of it and do some healing.  I do not want to find myself a bitter ole lady, (the ole part is already happening all on its own) I have to work on my thought life and what I allow to entertain in my mind.  Sometimes I can have such a pity party.  And sometimes I just miss my hubby so bad I just want to isolate, isolate, isolate!

Blessings and Prayers to all!

GrannyCheryl

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Claudia, I'm so sorry for all your mom is going through, trying to care for her dear husband. It's painful to care for the one you love when their body is going through such declines. Do you have health aides coming into the home to help him? If not, ask your mom to talk with their physician about this. It may take some aggressive negotiating to get all the hours of care she would like, but it's worth it. If I can help somehow, please ask. For now, my prayers are with you and your mom, and all your family. May our Lord hold you in His loving arms, and shower you each with His peace. Take gentle care of yourself, Claudia. You deserve some TLC and nurturing too. luv and hugs, my friend, Mark

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Cheryl, I don't think of you as being old, more like a beautiful lady who is our precious friend. I've been through enough over the last few years to write a book on bitter, so here goes my thoughts on it. It's a reaction to a triggering stimuli. When we feel something from the outside that's very painful, like the death of a loved one, it can make us a little emotionally short with some people. It's not that we set out to be mean, but we just don't want to be openly friendly at the moment. Our pain makes us want to withdraw and recluse, which is out of our ordinary. This tends to make us feel angry, and this starts up the cycle of bitterness, an anger built on a feeling of wanting to be left alone so we can wallow in our misery. But, I've been through this healing process with many people, and I think I can say now that people need each other. This website is a part of this beautiful equation. We talk about common themes, our sorrow, our pain, our healing. Even though we still may suffer a lot of pain, this is a part of our healing, to talk among ourselves in this way. We're here for you, Cheryl, always. My you have the peace you need and seek. My prayers are always with you. luv ya, my friend, Mark

[grannyc]

Mark,

Are you somehow looking into my windows, my life.   You just beautifully summed up my feelings, making them sound so ahh, so........maybe I can get through them, maybe I am not alone!

THANK YOU,  Cheryl  ^;-)

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Cheryl, this is what a friend is for, to help ya get through the tough days. And, no, I would never think to "peek". It's not even near like my personality. I've been to the bottom of the pain of this grieving, and if I can help someone else through it, I'm here to help. I hope you can get some rest and do a little something to spoil yourself. It'll be good for you, and yes, you're worth it. Catch ya later, my friend. hugs, Me

[grannyc]

Mark,

Thank you! My friend.

(It was just a joke about the windows,) its unreal how what one person feels or has felt, is what another is or will also be feeling and it can so help to make us feel ok, when I might have been wondering if I was losing my mind.

Have a good night, too

cheryl

[jackiewitter]

Good morning all.

I just wanted to say hello and wish you all well, let you know that you are in my prayers.  Cheryl...don't believe Mark, God has given him special "peeking" eyes!!  He does have a remarkable ability to read into your soul and know the right things to say, so I would call that a peek! 

I see that you keep coming back here, so I am hoping that you have found it very comfortable.  When I first came here, this is one thread that I would not visit because even though I did believe in God, I was so angry at him that I would not dare visit here.  It took patience and prayer for me to start going to Him for answers.  LOTS and LOTS of prayer!  It seemed that they more I prayed and read, they more that the He sent me to scriptures that told how short this life is and how the ones that got to go on before us received the blessing.  I have 4 kids and I would never wish to leave them, but I am so ready to go.  I want to see my family again so badly....but I still know there is a reason why our days are numbered here.  I am not sure of my purpose, but I still keep looking.  Careful...I have made myself a little meloncholy. (spelling-not sure)??

Claudia, I love you dearly and I pray for family.  I cannot help but think of Joey often.  It's almost like he and Jeffrey have become linked in my memory.  Funny isn't it!  Mark, I am just delighted to see your post again, it just means so much to have a male perspective as well.  I had not been on very long when you left, so you can imagine how happy I am now that you are back.  Please give your wife huggs from us and let her know that she is in our prayers.  Peace and blessings all, Jackie

[grannyc]

Good Morning All,

Jackie,I have found that I feel like I fit in this site better than some of the others.  There were times at the other boards I'd have to not come on for a week or two, but here I am encouraged each time I visit.

I don't feel, I guess, so limited as to what I can refer to in my walk with the Lord, or should I say my being carried by Him alot.   I've mentioned alot lately, it keeps coming to me.  Start watching for the green grass growing in our Valleys.

Blessing,Prayers,Hugs!

Cheryl  ^j^   ^j^   ^j^

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Cheryl, yes, I was being silly about that peeking thing. The compliment though, well, I hope you take it a bit more seiously. Oh, it's okay, cuz I'm the most married man on the planet. My wife knows I offer these compliments frequently. Please take very gentle and special care of yourself today. My prayers are with you every step of your healing process. hugs and luv from us both, Mark and me wife

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Hi Jackie, I was writing to you, and my puter fainted. Maybe it's hypoglycemic or just overwhelmed at the thought of communicating with someone as wonderful as you. Thank you for the hug, and I'll enjoy sharing it with my wife - gently so she don't hurt too much from it. I missed you for a whole of two days, making me think you skipped town for Bermuda - wise thought in our winter wonderland, eh? I'm Canadian, and even I'm sick of it this year. I hope you're holding up with all the things on your plate. Sometimes, our situations can bring us to creative interpretations of the Bible. "Greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world", which we can take in our situation to mean God is with us to comfort so the devil can't give us more sorrow and pain. I like your thought on the kids being in Heaven, which a friend from BI I met a few years back and I concluded about our daughters. We decided that they must have become friends and were driving the boys crazy up there (both of them are very very beautiful young ladies). I have a thought about Heaven, from being very ill a few years ago. I was in a coma, and went cardiac arrest. I saw a place that was very large and white, like no other place I've ever seen. Most ministry people I've talked with say it was the entrance to Heaven, but if so, why was I allowed to return? I'm in ministry and have no answer to my own question, except for this - that I'm needed here to help other people. At any rate, that's my thoughts. My prayers (true and sincere prayers) are always with you, Jackie, and with your family. May His peace and love be with you every moment of every day. luvs and hugs, Mark

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Claudia, I pray our Lord has given you a good day. I hoe you are yours are well and enjoying each others' company. I've always been reluctant to bring this up here, but now that I've mentioned it to Jackie, I would ask if you would be so dear to read my post to her and give me your thoughts on this issue. Most ministry people I've talked it over with believe I was truly there. I'm reluctant to accept this, but then, it's soooooooooooo beautiful, awesome, enormous, perfect, and whatever else we can say. I don't think humanity has words to describe what I saw. And, I have so precious little to back this up with from Scripture. Only two things I remember from being in hospital then - the memories of this and remembering one nurse who read every day from my book of Psalms - nothing else. I know our Lord allows some unusual things, but do I accept this? If I do, it may reorder much of my "theology". Maybe it's time for that. Thank you for reading this post, my dear friend. May God give you peace and comfort for your emotional needs. luv n hugs, Mark

[jackiewitter]

Mark, good morning dear friend.  I read a book "90 Minutes in Heaven" and he was so very clear in his believe why he was "turned away" after his accident.  He was a minister and while the book briefly touched on his experience in heaven, the book primarily dealt with events and people that God placed in his path.  At first he wanted nothing more than to return, but God continued to put people in his life that needed help and hope.  

I truly believe that we all have purposes here, though we may not necessarily know  what they are, I believe that we are kept here until we fulfill them.  Like when younger children are taken, they completed there duties so they were then gathered up and called home to celebrate and rejoice early.  While we grieve here, they have the blessing of being whole and in His presence.  It's so hard sometimes to hold onto that when you heart aches so badly for missing your family. 

As always, I pray for you and for yours.  Here's hugs to you again.  Canadian ehh?  I am in South Texas (between Houston and Galveston)...I would just go into hiding in the cold!  We moved back to TX when my father was ill.  I don't believe that I could take another day of snow....if it get's below 50' I just find a blanket and a fireplace and dive into hibernation!  Take good care Mark...peace & blessings, Jackie

[alwaysmyjennifer]

G' morning, Jackie, yeah, I'm a misplaced Canadian. I live in the States, but I'm close enough to home that I get back at least once a month. It's only minus 4 Celcius back home in Ottawa this morning.  That's warm! hehehe. Thanks for what you wrote. I gotta find that book,eh. Well, I'm at the studio, and there's a ton of work to do.  I have an album project to master for someone, so I'll be working until sunrise tomorrow (time to make a big pot of vanilla cream / pecan coffee). Hope you're having a good day. I'm praying for you and yours. hugs, me

[rodless]

I also read 90 Minutes in Heaven and once in awhile I pick it up again to read about his entrance to heaven and the great joy he experienced. What a marvelous journey ahead of us when we are allowed to take it! I think of that so many times when I look at a beautiful sunset. The grace of God is something I have been studying with my church group as we look at Jonah's story and I am so thankful it is there for me.

Mark, are we allowed to know the name of your band? And the thought of vanilla pecan coffee is making my mouth water.

Mary Jo

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Hey there Mary Jo, I remember a sermon I heard on Jonah. He didn't quite get it together to do what God wanted until God turned him into shark barf. Travelling is so fun sometimes, being able to hear such colorful and "interesting" preachers. hehehe. Now, about the inquiry, Priesthood (from 1Peter 2.9). My sound is heavily influenced by Marshall Tucker, Lynard Skynard, AC/DC, Neil Young, Johnny Cash, and Pink Floyd.  Put it all together and it sounds a bit funky, but whatever God tells me to play, I'm there. It's good to hear from you. I hope you're doing okay. I'll keep you in my prayers, which are often. luvs, Me

[4everjoeysmom]

Hey Mark--  Personally I can't speak from experience about Heaven, but I do know there IS Scripture to back up that God has given certain insights into Heaven through prophecy and people.  Look for example the prophet Isaiah--I see the Lord seated at the right hand of God, and the temple is filled with His glory.  Isaiah thought he would have to die after seeing Heaven.  But the angel came and pressed coal to his lips and said (more or less) his sins were purged and he would not have to die after seeing Heaven.  It was ok that he saw it.  And Paul--he saw the 3rd Heaven.  And Steven--he was shown Heaven opening up before him as he was being stoned to death. (Steven died, but he saw heaven BEFORE he was dead.)    And finally John, John saw and wrote much about Heaven in the Book of Revelations.  There are so many stories and books published about journeys to heaven and the afterlife, and then being revived back into this life and this world.  I suppose only God knows for certain where it is that we are taken in between states of consciousness and death, and why.  I don't think a peek into the entrance of Heaven is a one way ticket to mean we can't be sent back to this life.  Doesn't Scripture say ALL things are possible through Christ Jesus?  I think THAT ALONE can say that anything is possible and if God wanted to give you a glimpse of Heaven, then what is to stop Him?  Yes?  And since theological ideas differ on Heaven and when we actually get to be there, I won't even touch that.  But Scripture does talk of a new Heaven and Earth, and God created Heavens and Earth, so there must be more than one heaven, especially if Paul saw the Third Heaven.  Now that's mind boggling, isn't it?!  I think I need to go and meditate on that brain twister.  Ah the things of God!  Some aqre quite mysterious indeed.  I look forward to seeing it all some day.  And now that I've run around in a circle chasing my tail, I wonder did any of that help you?  LOL.  Blessings, my brother!  Love and prayers to you and yours, Claudia

P.s.  I did just recall that a very godly missionary couple, the hisband is 92 and the wife 87 (we are their successors here in the Ecuadorian mission work) had an experience like yours.  He died on the OR table and explained seeing white light.  In fact, the OR staff said when they revived him, he actually became conscious for a moment and was addressing or talking to someone.  He verified that upon waking to consciousness later that he was talking with someone, and with what was experienced by others, it was true---he did go somewhere and he did speak with someone....  He believes it was a glimpse of Heaven as well.  Who am I to doubt him?  I haven't been there yet.  LOL!  

[jackiewitter]

Hey you three!  Mary Jo, it's so good to see your post.  I don't visit too much, I primarily stay in  Siblings and I believe in God threads, so it's nice to see your post from time to time.  I could not agree more, I too believe that there are realms of conscientiousness.  Perhaps only in your soul.  Have you ever been so moved the Spirit that it was almost as if you were not in this life?  I remember the when I accepted Christ there was a feeling that was so indescribable.  Almost as if this is no longer my body, or my mind. I remember the delirious peace and the smile that would not leave my face because I had the most clean and peaceful feeling that I had ever had in my life.  Like a newborn (which I was).  By the way, a good friend of mine said that her mother calls her and sings "Happy Re-Birthday" to her every year on the anniversary date of when she accepted Jesus.  Isn't that so beautiful.  I think of my brother and how he no longer has a to deal with the worldly things here that have a tendency to bring us down....how wonderful for him.  I am in a year and 1/2 here of losing him and I can tell that I have turned a corner.  I still have such a longing to see him and I miss him so, as well as my parents; but it seems to have been replaced by a joy that they are rejoicing and that I will be with them again. 

Anyway, I just wanted to say hello to you all and let you know that you were in my thoughts and prayers.  Claudia, have you heard from Barbara lately, I know you two email more frequently, I just have not heard from her.  Mark...I love the name of the band, as well as your choice of music!  I am a southern girl so other than Neil Young, you had the tops!!!   Love to all of you & hugs too!  Peace and blessings, Jackie