I Believe in God...

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Christy, I'm in tears of joy for you, my sister. Isn't it the most amazing thing to feel them touch us? At first, I didn't tell people, cuz I thought I'd lost my mind, but it's really Jenni. It's okay to talk to him, if you feel like you can. I'll pray he stops in for another visit. Please hold onto our "hands" through the days ahead. We'll be right here for you. luvs,hugs,Mark

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Jeff, some of these things are beyond what we can understand. They happen from Heaven, so they're far beyond our minds. There are things I can't explain about Jenni, but they happen. She's such a daddy's girl. Hold onto Matt's shared treasures all you can. You'll be thankful you do. my prayers are always with you and your family. Mark

[mattsdad]

Mark,

If ever I need an anchor I come to see what you have to offer. I look for signs from Heaven.

Am I wrong to hope for such things? Are there signs from beyond, or am I just being foolish and naive?

I would love to "know" the answers---but I leave it up to our friends at B.I. to give their input on this forum.

What do you think, Mark?

Hope or lost hope????

Always---

Jeff

[kagansmommy]

HOPE Jeff, always hope. I have gotten so many signs from Kagan that he was here. My little box is full of penny's, buttons, beads, sticks, feathers, a little dinosaur and so much more. I once had a really bad night and when I got up the next morning there was a pearl button and a white feather in the middle of the living room floor. My grnd daughters pacifier disappeared out of her bag when she was here. After she left I found it upstairs under Kagan's bed with 4 white feathers. This was also the same pacifier she went into my bedroom and came back out with and no one knows where she got it from. When we ask her she told us bubby gave it to her. She always called Kagan bubby and still does.

When her mommy went to sweep under her bed she flipped out yelling "no, mine" and when her mommy got down and looked to see what it was there were white feathers under her bed too. She said bubby gave them to her. They always find her sitting in her room alone talking to someone and when they ask her who it was she always says "Bubby."

I always find that when I am having a really bad day something out of the ordinary turns up in the oddest places. I was picking weeds from a flower bed in the summer and of course I was crying and talking to Kagan. I came in to get something to drink and when I went out to finish there was a button and a penny where I had been working. That put a huge smile on my face and I just said "I love you too Kagan" and went back to work.

So never give up hope. You don't have to look very hard to see the signs. But sometimes it it hard trying to figure out what they are trying to tell us.

We are all in the same boat, hoping and waiting for a sign or a message. Sometimes we get them and sometimes we don't. But one thing I know for sure is that Kagan is always with me.

Take care.

Christy

"I love you Kagan"

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Jeff, please keep looking and hoping. Jenni never let me share a moment, until I had possession of her personal effects from the night she was killed. That's when some strange things started, like our nightly hug. It's not in thinking faith is a certain thing or a certain way, but in seeing it from a different facet, like in a diamond. Hold onto faith and hope with all you have. Pray for what you need, and remember, "ask, and it shall be given". I'm praying, Mark

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Christy, how sweet, but typical boy, to leave toys all over. Two things about boys, we never learn to pick up our toys. The other is, we never grow up, our toy trucks just get big engines. hehehe. Do you get the same impression about the white feathers I do? He's a perfect little angel boy. I'm praying for you. luvs,hugs,me

[kagansmommy]

Hey Mark~!! It has been one year today since Kagan went into the hospital. These next two weeks are going to be horrible for me. I have cried until there shouldn't be any tear's left but they just keep coming. From today until Feb. 2nd when we laid him in the ground I can tell you what we did every second of every day. The night before we went to the hospital he was laying on my lap laughing and talking to his daddy on the phone. Of course all he said was hi, dad, hey you, and an occasional growl when his daddy would growl at him. He was the sweetest little boy. I always said from the day he was born that he was mommy's perfect little angel. I never knew how true that statement would be all too soon. I had him for the most beautiful 18 months and 21 days of my life.

This month has been so bad that I have shut everyone out of my life..even my grandkid's. I hate being like this but can't seem to control it.

When I went outside today I found another dinosaur laying in the driveway next to my truck. I know it was Kagan telling me he was ok and not to cry anymore.

I know everyone here is in the same boat I am and I'm sorry for all this whining but I didn't know where else to let it out.

Mark, give Mary my love and tell her I am praying for her.

I am praying for you all to find peace in the new year.

Christy

"Mommy loves you Kagan"

[mamabets]

For Alwaysmyjennifer- It is me, Mark,mamabets- I go traveling around, and find you, hanging tough... I think of you often and have faith that all of us are somehow helping you to stay strong. You are such an inspiration, a true gift to all of us. How is Mary?? My Danny has been gone for some time now- Since June of 2004, and while it is still so painful, I find that I don't "collapse" like I once did. I find that somehow, there is hope in that I KNOW he is with me always, and I KNOW that we will be reunited again one day. I know it like I know him. He was, and is, truly amazing, and the place that I refer to as "here, there and everywhere" is alive and well with him in it. I see your Jenni as a dark haired beauty... Don't ask me why, I just do!! Isn't that something?? Keep in touch and know that we all love you here- An extra big hug to you and Mary!! xoxomamabets

[mamabets]

For Kagansmommy- Bless your heart- This coming up on one year is just AWFUL and it hurts so much. I can promise you this... For each and every ounce of this agony is a ray of sunshine that will one day come through in the form of this little boy... It will never leave you, nor do you want it to ever leave you, but this TORTURE definately subsides some, and when it does, you find that you are grateful for the ability to see the difference between torture and everyday pain. Everyday pain is very tolerable, and the torture is just cruel- A cruel hand that you have been dealt. My 25 year old son, Danny, left here in June of 2004 and I remember basing my entire life on how this world had lost such a beautiful person- I now, can honestly say, that "here, there and everywhere", a place called "somewhere over the rainbow", is a far better place, especially with him in it and one day I will be reunited with him. Until then, there are my two little girls, my puppies, to name a few, that need me here. I was once the leader for Danny, as his mother- He is now mine, and I follow him wherever he leads. He will take good care of your baby, I promise- He always had a watchful eye, and still does- Although, they are all safe where they are, our angels watching over us. xoxomamabets- Take extra special care of yourself- I feel your pain.

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Mamabets, thanks so much for the encouragement. We're hanging in there. I got the news back that it looks like what put her in hospital on Christmas was another TIA (ministroke). She's having some pretty strong seizures, so the doctors are working to find a solution to stop them, safely. Thank you for thinking of Jenni. I hope you don't receive this wrong, but she's a beach blonde. She's very pretty, like her mom (her mom took her own life 7 months after Jenni's death).

I pray the pain continues to soften for you. The bittersweet feelings of our children being gone from us, in Heaven, hurts and comforts. They're not with us, which hurts, but knowing they're in Heaven is such a comfort.

Take care of yourself today, please. I'm praying for you. Talk to you soon.

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Christy, your little perfect angel is watching over you so much. You must be getting quite a collection of toy dinosaurs. I hope you can my prayers for you constantly through this time of sorrow. If there's anything I can do for you, please write or call. Even though you don't want to, try a step by step process to get your grandchildren close. I'm always here for you, dear friend.

luv ya, with prayrz, Mark

[mamabets]

For Alwaysmyjennifer- So good to hear from you!!!! I was WAYYYYY off on that gorgeous dark, LONG head of hair- I had such a strong, vision- Funny how things like that can happen!! I hope that your day is peaceful, as well- Special hugs to you and all of yours today- Where do you get your strength??? In spite of all of your life struggles, you just OPT to get up on the right side of the bed each and every day, after you have your nice visit with all of your guiding angels and your friend named God...!!! It's funny, because the day after Danny's accident- He was non-responsive from the beginning, but kept on life support for a week so they could find recipients for his organs, I heard him in my heart say to me..."Hey, Ma, I got here and I really like it. When I saw God I said to him- Boy, you have looked old in every picture that I have ever seen of you- Please, sit down, take a load off, and let me give you a hand"- It was quite an experience, as he had held my hand the night before when he entered Heaven....!! xoxomamabets

[alwaysmyjennifer]

mamabets, it's so noble to be an organ donor. It's cool to get such messages from him. They do these things to help us with our grieving, to comfort us knowing they're okay. Good thought though, why would God have to look old? What's age in Heaven? I had to think for a minute about my daughter's dark hair color when you said you had a vision about it. I know very little about my younger daughter, having been adopted, but her mother has long black hair. Do you think you sensed her? We're trying to find her still. Hope your day is a good one. So far, it's been good here, with not quite as much pain. We're praying it lasts a while. hugz,Me

[mamabets]

For alwaysmyjennifer- So bizarre- But, you know- Jesus, God- They are old looking in pictures- Jesus on the cross- He looked aged- And, keep in mind- My Danny was and still is, very funny!! This morning he left a smiley ET looking kind of guy in my sink made from coffee drippings!! I took lots of pictures, left it there and the spot that was above it?? It is now a small silhouette, head and shoulders... He is something else-!! The dark haired beauty- She just, that once, flashed in my head- I could place her in a crowd, that much is for sure...Not a familiar face when it happened, but would be now!! Does Mary have long black hair?? I think of you often and hope that you are strong today- I pray for your strength every day!! xoxomamabets

[mamabets]

For alwaysmyjennifer- Maybe, if you can, go to Anger and Grief/Anger and Depression and see Griffinsmom- I know that we have all been where she is and can relate... She needs us!! xoxo I love you- mamabets HUGS times 2 to you and Mary!!

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Mamabets, don't you just love the little things he does to comfort you? They amaze me with how much they do for us. Sweet bunch of kids we all have. My wife and Jenni are blondes, but my younger (adopted out) daughter is Native American / Hispanic (from Spain). She was born with black hair. I assume this would be the same as an adult (now 28).

[mamabets]

For alwaysmyjennifer- Maybe Jenni and Danny are having fun with some magical hair coloring ?? When he was about 12 and at my ex's, there were brand new towels in the bathroom and Danny decided to dye hi hair JET black- Towels, ruined-!! Leave kids unsupervised, things like this happen, I would say for years!!! I could write the book, but since I lived it, I used to tell my dad, I won't!!! My Dad used to say "Oh, Bets, you should write a book" I would say to him "Why the hell would I do that? I am constantly living it- What, are you crazy?" Now, I write Danny's story everywhere and he continues to know how proud we all are of all of them...xoxomamabets- {I think that they are having fun with Clairol!!}

[Guest Guest]

Mamabets, Oh my gosh...that hair dye and new towel story was too funny. I needed a good laugh. I think it is great that our kid's are as michcevious now as they were before. Some of the things little mister Kagan does proves that. When he would look at you with those big blue eyes and that sneaky little grin he had you could tell there was a stinker just bustin' to get out of that body. And now he has been released to reek havok on mom and dad and I LOVE IT~!! The first thing he ever done was the morning after he passed away. Hit seat and toys were here in the living room from therapy. We got up the next morning and there were toys all over. Toys that he couldn't play with before, only feel and rub his hands on. And to see them moved knowing he could do that by himself now made me explode with pride as if he had done it while living.

I haven't washed my blazer since october because one morning I went out and Kagan's handprint was on the hood. As if he had layed his hand on it when he was walking past. WALKING~!! That print is still there almost as if it were burned into the paint. My blazer is so dirty but I can not force myself to wash it. I feel like it would be washing him away.

Mark, I still have that basket full of his clothes that I can't wash. My family thinks I am nuts for not washing them but those medicine and babyfood stains are all I have left of his physical self. After he passed away I put him up on my shoulder and the fluid from him drained out on my shirt. I have that shirt folded up in an airtight bag. They let me give him his last bath and then I held him for almost 3 more hours so I am sure if I took it out of the bag I could smell him on it. But I am afraid that would make me come completely apart at the seams right now. Sometimes it hits me that he is gone....never coming back. I will never hold him or kiss him again. It makes my heart hurt so bad that I want to rip it from my chest. I feel so empty but empty shouldn't hurt this bad.

Thank you both for letting me vent a little and I hope I didn't ramble on too long. On this date one year ago the doctors tried to get me to take Kagan home and I refused to leave the hospital with him. I told them something was very wrong and they were missing it. Less than 24 hour's later Kagan was put on life support. NEVER argue with a mother about her child. Nobody knows like mommy when something isn't right. God, here I go again...sorry.

Give Mary a big hug from me to her.

Luv and prayers to you all~!!

Christy

"Mommy loves you Kagan"

[mamabets]

For Christy- How did our little angel Kagan leave this earth?? What a strong wonderful name... Kagan- Tell me all about him- If you want to, feel free to e-mail me too at huntross4@aol.com. My Danny was 25 and he left us in June of 2004. He was, and is, fabulous!!!! xoxomamabets

[Guest Guest]

mamabets....thanks for asking about my little angel Kagan. I would be happy to tell you about him. I will do it in an email later today and send some pic's too. It has been a horrible weekend for Kagan's daddy and me. The 22nd is when we had to make the decision to put him on life support or let him die. We chose life support. We lost him the 28th anyway but at least we gave him a chance.

I can't wait to send you some pictures....he was beautiful.

I would love to hear about Danny too.

Christy

"Mommy loves you Kagan"

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Christy, why would you ever even want to wash those close, girl? Those are Kagan's! They are your memories of such a precious child. I took the photos you gave me, with those of a few others, like Erin, and Jenni, and these are my screensaver. My screensaver makes me cry. Cherish every little surprise Kagan gives you, whether it's a dinosaur, handprint, rollerskate, or froggie in the pond. No matter what, cherish the memories. I used to have a Vette, and Jenni had a Camaro. Last year, my neighbor took me to a car show, where I saw a row of Camaros like hers, and I cried like a baby. I have the keys to her Camaro, even though I don't have her car. Funny how I hold them. Whether it's hair dye, froggies, or who care, cherish everything you get from him.

luv ya, hugs, Mark

[alwaysmyjennifer]

mamabets, I sometimes worry about Jenni gettin' into trouble up there in Heaven with the boys, and then I'll have all kinds of explaining to do before God. tee hee. Hope you're having a good evening. Praying for you. hugz, Mark

[Guest Guest]

Hey Mark, haven't heard from you in a while. I hope you and Mary are doing ok. Let me know something, ok? I have emailed you a couple times but knowing me it is the wrong address.

Luv and prayers to you both.

Christy

"I love you Kagan"

[write365]

Hey guys. I know i've been away for far too long! I've been super busy, but that's no excuse. Band, jazz band, choir, spanish club, book club, quiz bowl and Church band..and tomorrow we have to go to madison for my grandma's new eye doctor. She's driving me crazy as usual. Actually, worse than usual, since the 21st was the one-year anniversary of Leo's death and she's wallowing in it. ARGH! She insists that she's not depressed and doesn't need someone to talk to--that's what i'm for, she says. NOT! and she'll only do therapy if we all go, and that's not gonna happen!

[Guest Guest]

IN MEMORY OF

KAGAN ISAAC AXSOM-SZYMBORSKI

7/7/2003 ~ 1/28/2005

Rest in peace my sweet angel.

"Mommy loves you kagan"

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Christy, my prayers rest with your dear heart today. May God let you feel the peace and comfort you need and deserve.

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Hi Ashley. I don't have too much time nowadays, but I pray for you and your family. Sounds like your staying out of trouble. Take care, and write anytime,Mark

[write365]

Well, I'm back, and my grandma has to have eye surgery. she's wigged out about it. I know I should be sympathetic, but my patientce is running thin. I can only offer so much consolation on one topic over a one-year period. It wouldn't be so hard if she actually responded to it. She says she doesn't ever want to let them (the medical community) touch her again. she doesn't have many options--if she gets surgery, she stands an 85-90% chance of regaining her eyes. If she doesn't, she will go blind. is it that hard of a choice?

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Ashley, it's a lot for you to carry. It seems like there's nothing to lose by her having the surgery. I'll pray for her peace of mind in the decision. Is there a time frame for the decision, or is it immediate? Please remember, God created the world for Ashley to enjoy too. Try to enjoy it, and not let life's stresses get to you too much.

[write365]

There's a surgical consultation on thursday, and then we'll know from there. they're going to put shunts in her eyes to draint the fluid.

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Ashley, I don't honestly know, but it kinda sounds like an ouchie thing to get those shunts. Most eye surgery is fairly simple and straight forward though.

Here's a little good news for ya. My wife's aide is now in our home 6 hours a day. This means I can get some sleep (I feel guilty and silly saying that). We have lifeline for when I need to be out of house. If she falls, she can punch the button, and paramedics take care of her. This is a real blessing.

Take care, and go do something for you. Go have fun with your friends.

[maskott]

My belief in God is what is keeping me going every day. I know he loves Matthew and is keeping him safe and happy. I still grieve for Matthew and cry my eyes out at certain times. However, when these times happen, I also feel a calmness engulf me. I feel peaceful and this makes the tears end...for a little while. I wouldn't be able to do this without my belief in God.

BettyAnn

[alwaysmyjennifer]

BettyAnn, we have God's hope for those great blessings only He can give. Through all God has done for us, we have hope of Heaven. "Who is like Thee among the gods, O Lord? Who is like Thee, majestic in holiness, awesome in praises, working wonders?" The simple answer is, no one. God is God. He cares about you, as His own little child. That's pretty special. May His blessings be yours through the tears, through the sorrow. My prayers abide with you. Mark

[suelowe]

Before my mum died, i believed in God, i secretly wanted to go to church, but i was apprehensive of what my family would say. i got my own place and i found myself turning to God for spiritual comfort. when my mum fell ill, i went to a hospital chapel (Royal Liverpool Hospital where she was) to get peace and to pray. i felt very calm because i had the spiritual comfort. as her death got nearer, i told God that if he dare lay one finger on her, i'd never speak to him again, yet i told him to take her pain away.

When she passed away, i turned white with rage that he'd taken her away, called him every name under the sun. Soon after, i turned to the church for comfort and i even watch Songs of Praise on the sunday, as she used to watch it hersef. i keep her Bible and hold it sometimes when i want to say a prayer. i also wear a cross as it gives me strength and comfort.

god bless you all

sue

[clittlelady]

Hi Everybody.....

Hope you don't mind if I visit here for a while. Just feel the need for spiritual fellowship lately. I never doubt God's existence, I know he's real. I know only his strength and mercy have brought me through not only the darkness of losing my dear little Mother in August, but through many other traumatic times of my life as well. I've had so many "close calls" lately with serious accidents, kind of feel like God's trying to tell me something. I know that since being with my Mother when she died, I'm not afraid of death anymore. I just want every day here to count for something, I want to leave something good behind. I feel more convicted of that now, more than ever. I guess that's the way we're suppose to live anyway. To give it our best, each day, because tomorrow is not a promise for any of us. I just miss My Mother so much. Her encouragement, her little "All Things Work Together for the Good to Them That Love The Lord and Are Called According to His Purpose" and her "I don't understand everything and why we go through some of the trials we do, but I do know We're in God's Hands, He Knows The Very Reason."

My Mother had a radio ministry in the 40's... about the same time as Kathryn Kuhlman (sp?). I keep trying to remember all her stories of healings that she witnessed, and testimonials of healing. I'm afraid I'm forgetting some of what she told me. I loved the stories. The Tent Revival she attended one hot, summer, Southern night. It was in the middle of nowhere, which is about the same place she and her younger siblings lived with my grandparents, as my Grandad was a sharecropper in the cotton fields of Louisiana. She begged her parents to go, but they didn't want to travel the distance with so many of the children, at night. My Grandad decided he would go and take her and her brother just a year younger than she and my Grandmother would stay home with the younger children. This was during the depression years. She loved the spiritual music and went up to an "alter call" at the end of the service when the question was asked, do you want Jesus to dwell in your heart and direct the path of your life? My Grandad was afraid, for he had never witnessed such "full gospel" and spirituality. He was very Old Southern Baptist. My Mother always said, once she made that trip to the "Alter", she was never the same. From that point on, she read her Bible and walked to church, many miles every Sunday and eventually bringing her little brothers and sisters, as well as my Grandparents. So many wonderful stories. They're all gone now, the brothers and sisters, the grandparents. All of them. I truly believe many of them are in a wonderful reunion. She was the first to lead them to that form of worship and was the last to leave this earth.

Just very melancholy today and wanted to pour it out in a believers forum.

God Bless You All Today as we all walk our pathway that is laid out for us.

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Sue, no matter what we've been through, or how many emotions pour out of our souls like a flood, God understands our sorrow. It's not written that we're to grieve a certain way, but it is written, "blessed are they who mourn, for they will be comforted." We ask for something that we may not fully understand, but God knows what we need. This is love, that He gives us what we need. I pray for your comfort, peace, and blessing. Mark

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Clittlelady, you're always welcome here. I read your words with a fascination, seeing a little of how beautiful your family is. When I was younger, I learned the Scripture that God will never leave us, nor forsake us. Through the pits and valleys of my life, I've learned this to be so true. I may not pray right, and not understand how to pray for my wife, but God knows what is best, and He'll never abandon her along the way. I am so thankful for God's love for my wife, and me. Please feel free to stop in here anytime. We love to hear from you. Mark

[clittlelady]

Mark..... Thank you once again for your kindness and wisdom, but more than that, thank you for the example that you are in your faith. As long as I had my Mother, I had a constant reminder and ever present cheerleader for God. I just miss that. One of those things I guess I always appreciated, but until now, I didn't realize just how much. That's us humans, huh? I've always tried to pray that God's will be done, but I know there are times, we wish his will was the same as ours, because we don't see the final chapter in all things, as he does or desire a different ending. My husband has always told me that no matter what life hands him, as death comes for him, however or whenever, his prayer to God is that my face will be the last thing that his eyes beholds in this life. I'm not sure I'm all that, but to hear those words and feel that love and dedication, it reminds me of your love for your wife, from what you've shared in your postings. I would do the same for my husband, as you Mark are for your wife. I respect you. You're both continuously in my prayers. God Bless You. Hang on to The Rock...

Until Next time....

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Clittlelady, funny how we think that way. I was critically ill a few years ago, and nearly died. Since then, I have noticed that I have no fear of death or dying, but a fear of not having my sweetie. Now we face her serious illness, and I'm a pile of nerves over it. I like what you said of your husband. The last thing my eyes will see here is her, the first there Jesus. My prayers rest with you. May God give you what you need today.

[write365]

Well, Grandma got the surgery. It went fine, she's in a little pain now, but not too bad. She can't see at all.

oh and....I GOT MY LEARNER'S PERMIT!!! I CAN DRIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[alwaysmyjennifer]

YIPPEEEE!!!!!!! She can drive!!!!! I'm so happy that our prayers are answered for your Grandma, and she's doing this well.

[clittlelady]

MARILYN, SWEDE, MARK, EVERYONE...

I have to share Something....

I believe that I was handed a miracle, my Husband and I. Our 1 1/2 year old Rottweiler, Sailor, Woke us up two nights ago, barking fearlessly and relentlessly. My husband then realized our home was on fire. One solitary moment seemed to last for days... moving in slow motion, half dressed scrambling around, half asleep. When we entered our hallway, the strong smell of electrical wiring burning. Our heating unit was on fire. My husband ran to shut of the breaker box as I went for a phone. Wires were popping and fire shooting and smoke filling our home. I couldn't find my cell phone or a flashlight. In tears, I finally found my phone and called 911... reported it and hung up. All I could think of was my pets. Made three trips in to get them all. Threw the small ones in may car and backed it out into the street. Put Sailor out in our back yard. It was so cold that night and as the fire truck drove up, I thought of my memories, my mother's memories, everything... how it could all be gone in minutes. I was Standing outside, barefooted, my husband inside with a fire extinguisher, which didn't work properly. I was numb and in an instant, I just let it all go. I was afraid the fire had gotten into our attic, where all my treasures are. I suddenly realized, they're all just things. Mom couldn't take them with her when she went and neither will I, so I wasn't going to let it consume me, if I lost it all. My pets and my husband and I were safe, that's all that mattered. The firemen got it under control. It didn't go into the attic and all that was lost was the heating unit. I was so thankful my husband was home. Had he been working and I been there alone, I probably wouldn't have thought to shut off the breaker box and the fire would have spread faster throughout the electrical system. I thank God, I gave in and said yes to my husband bringing home a precious little Rottweiller pup a year and a half ago. I really thought it was bad timing then, because Mom was in such a bad shape and I was about to face tendon repair of my right elbow. This loyal pet definitely showed his love for us. As a little boy of 10 years old, my husband stood outside with his six brothers and sisters and his mom, as their entire home burned to the ground. It was in the middle of winter, with several feet of snow on the ground. They had only the clothes on their back. I remember him telling me how at that moment, he saw the difference between life's value and the value of "things".

I Truly believe God Brought Sailor into our lives for this reason. I had complained about him, off and on because of his size, he's huge and he always wants to be where I'm at, even the bathroom! He's chewed on my socks, not my husband's, but mine. I don't think I own a matching pair right now.

NOW, Oh He's got it made in the shade from here on out, that's for sure!

When I went to sleep the night of this fire, I "assumed" I would wake in the morning. MARILYN, like I've said, none of us are promised tomorrow, we assume a lot.

God Bless You All. I continue to thank my God, for I know as my Mother always said, "He is a Miracle Worker."

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Clittlelady, hope you don't think I'm a silly old man for these tears in my eyes right now. I'm shocked and upset that you went through this, and overjoyed that God let your dog save you all. This is a miracle. God works in such unusual ways. The memories may be things, just things, but they're treasures you'll hold dear forever. Your precious mom is in Heaven, and while she won't be returning to you, there's a day that you will be dancing with her in the streets of Heaven. On that day, I'll be the hippie dancing with a very beautiful young lady, my Jenni. I will keep you in my prayers while you go through the work of cleaning and putting your home back together. Isn't God amazing?! Yes, my friend, He is the miracle worker.

[clittlelady]

Mark... Okay, How old are YOU????? See, my husband is 57 and I continue to remind him that with the ever changing "retirement age", he's no where CLOSE to OLD. And silly? No way... God is Good and he's worth tears of joy. In HIM lies our hope. I know some people doubt, some people let tragedy shake them and confuse them. Through it all, I remain unshaken in my faith in him and who he is. I don't have to scientific proof. The proof is in my spirit. If people can believe in Karma and "Destiny", if they can believe in the air that they breath and trust that it will be there for their next breath, it puzzles me how God's existence and power is so hard for some. Have you and your wife watched the movie, "The Passion of Christ"? I Believe he has THAT much love for us. I Believe he bore THOSE stripes for us. And his mercy? How much more example than the thief who hung next to him on the cross, in that moment of his pain of flesh, his agony, his spirit and heart gave love and reassurance to the thief?

Your life and your story, You and Your Wife, Marilyn and so many of us here have an eternity ahead of us that WILL offer us The Dance you spoke of. What a beautiful day to look forward to. All of THIS will never be recalled.

God Bless You...

Connie

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Connie, Amen! Nothing is a greater joy than knowing He did all that for us. That's love! To my grandson, I'm ancient, but, to my daughter, I'm young. I'm in my mid forties. It's all in how you look at the equation. In the scheme of eternity, I guess I'm a baby. hehehe. I have millions of years to dance with my wife, talk with my children (all are believers), and have fun singing with my brothers. My ministry is in music. Good question, you have. How is it, with all there is, that people seem to struggle with God's existence, much less all He's done for us? It's all in faith. I keep you in prayer. Mark

[jcruzgirl]

Marky Marky,

My dear friend. I just read the last post you had on here. Made me laugh as I can just imagine that your grandson thinks you are "ancient" so cute. Must mean that I am ancient too??? hehehe... I am NOT ancient, I am a BABY in this world, at least my life since the death of my love, Jimmy (James)... I believe that with God's LOVE we can and will get through anything and everything.

Love ya my friend,

Trish

[maskott]

Sunday was Matthew's 25th birthday. At 2:00AM, he visited me in a dream. The first I remember since he died August 2006. We went to release balloons at our town baseball field. Laying where the second baseman stands was a baseball. Matthew always played second base. That was a sign that Matthew was there with us. How can you not believe that God is there helping us through this horrendous path we are on. As sad as I am that Matthew was taken from us so young, God has been there to help us each step we take. He picks us up when we falter. He has given me the strength to be where I am right now. I thank Him every minute of every day.

BettyAnn

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Trish, you're younger than me, by a long shot. Even with that, you look about twenty five. My grandson is only five, so everyone is old to him. hehehe. Wonder what he thinks great grandpa is? ouch. luv ya, me

[alwaysmyjennifer]

BettyAnn, that is soooooo sweet, how Matthew did that. I've said this to a few people, but not many : he's as close as your heartbeat. "They don't know that I go running home when I fall down. They don't know who picks me up when no one is around. I cry a while and look up for a sign, 'cause deep inside this armor, the warrior is a child." Amy Grant. God bless you, and your dear family. I always keep you in my prayers. Mark

[kagansmommy]

"HAPPY EASTER" To everyone.

Christy

"Mommy loves you Kagan"