I Believe in God...

[kagansmommy]

Hello everyone~!! It has been a while since I have been here and I see we have some new friends. I hate that we make new friends under these circumstances but is is good to have each other to lean on. So to my new friend's...welcome~!!

Mark...what can I say buddy but you are the greatest~!! You have helped me through some tough times these last couple of weeks. I feel so much closer to your family since our chat on the phone. I pray for you and Mary constantly.

Laura...Thank you so much for the birthday wish for my beautiful angel. We finished his frog pond just in time for his birthday. We took a boquet of baloon's and put them on his headstone and hung out with him for a while. Not a way to spend your baby's 2nd birthday. Sitting by the pond listening to the frogs and the waterfall is so calming. Wonderful medicine for the soul and a broken heart. I hope you are doing ok...I pray for you always too.

Nikki...I am so sorry for your loss. You have been throu so much at such a young age. But like you said....your Mama can walk, talk, and hug again. And you will hug her again one day. Kagan loved to be hugged so she has her work cut out for her with that little boy. Please ask her to watch over him for me.

Keep your chin up and live life to it's fullest. You have the whole world in the palm of your hand and you have only just begun to live. If you need me just yell...I'm only an email away. All my love and prayer's to you Nikki~!!

Christy

"Mommy loves you Kagan"

[tinasdad]

Christy, good to see you here. Thanks, but I'm just me, ya know. I really appreciate all the prayer for my love. She's my world. We'll just have to try that crow pie sometime. lol.

Laura, I hope you are doing well. I'm always praying for you. When the world slows down a little, I'm calling your friend. I've been out straight, and probably going to NYC today. If not, she'll hear from me.

Nikki, you are a steady part of our family's prayers. You have a lot going on; we're always here to help you. Take each step with prayer, and by faith He will guide you. love you

Update? No news yet on the treatment for my wife. I'm so sick of twiddling my thumbs waiting on them. I'm quickly learning to despise insurance companies. We found out yesterday that our youngest is allergic to bees. Like father, like son. Well, I need to call down to the Apple. Later on, Mark

[lauraa]

Hi Everybody,

Could you all send your prayers to me...especially tonight between 6p.m. and 9p.m. as I am receiving an award on my husbands behalf and it is my birthday so needless to say it is an emotional day for me. Thank you all. I usually don't ask for myself but I need the power of all your prayers today!

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Bless you all!

Lauraa

[slowlyhealing]

Laura,

you are in my prayers.

It has been a rough ride, and I know it isn't over. Life doesn't stop once our loved ones are gone.

Right now I am in need of a job. Being in a little town... well it doesn't leave many jobs left, but I know Our God will provide. Please be in prayer for me, so I may find a job... and so my heart can slowly mend again. I know I have already started to mend but still I have a long way to go, and sometimes the road is dark and lonely.

Christy,

I'm sure my momma is enjoying all the hugs and comforts that are in heaven, and with out a doubt I'm sure she has already met your son. And her being a really good mom and all I'm sure she'll keep an eye on your Kagan, not saying that he's going to run through heaven tearing things down. Your baby was a good boy.

Mark thank you for your endless prayer and help. Thanks for being there in the darkest of times.

For the rest of you all, Remember to hold on to God's promise. He will see us through

[tinasdad]

Nikki, anytime. Let us know how it's going. love you.

Father, strengthen Laura for the evening. Let her mind be at rest and filled with Your peace. Let her feel the warmth of Your love for her. Make this be a blessing for her.

[kagansmommy]

Laura,

I was praying for you all evening. You are a strong woman and I am sure you handled it with much grace, dignity, and honor. I know your husband would have been proud. Happy Birthday~!!

Christy

"I love you Kagan"

[lauraa]

Thank you all...I got thru the night with success. Everyone loved my husband. It just reinterates my loss but helps to know he was so loved. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. I will write tomorrow after I get home from pre-op testing for my surgery next week,,,,I think it is nothing to worry about but has to be done. Thank you all. Sleep tight!

[tinasdad]

Christy, I love the frog pond. It's the best tribute possible for Kagan.

Laura, you are in our prayers. Let us know how you are doing. If you need anything, please ask. You're with friends who care.

Nikki, I'm thankful for the way things have begun to work out for you. We're always praying, and we love you.

Another week, and it looks like we need to consider increasing my wife's medication. Her pain has worsened, robbing her of sleep at night, attracting more seizures, increasing the secondary symptoms in her legs, and bringing on a few falls. Thank you all for all the prayer. There is no way I can tell you how much it means to our family. Thank you.

Father, thank You for the way You have been blessing and providing for Your children here. While we go through the days ahead, we ask You continue to comfort Nikki in her sorrow and loss, and help her as she starts back into school so she can be attentive even though she grieves. We ask for Your healing and peace to be on Laura through the week with her upcoming surgery. Let all go well, and heal her quickly. Keep our friends here safe in the upcoming week. Protect our beautiful children. We thank You for how You will tenderly answer our prayer.

Enjoy the rest of the weekend. Mark

[write365]

I'm so sorry, Mark. I haven't been able to post for a while. The twenty-first will be the six-month anniversary of my uncle's death. My grandmother--his sister, who lives with us--is going to use it as an excuse to stay in bed for a month. I know that's harsh, but it's frustrating. We had a friend of my uncle's--Father Collins--visit the other day, and he told us that Leo had told him on Christmas Day of last year to take care of me. And he has been.

I'm praying for you all.

Ashley

[tinasdad]

Ashley, be sure to give yourself space to express your grief. I'll be in prayer for you and your family through the week. I'm thankful for the Lord giving you Father Collins to help and care. Mark

[lauraa]

Hello Everyone,

Just wanted to check in and see how everyone is doing and to let you all know I think of you all on a daily basis and keep all of you in my prayers.

Nikki, I hope you and your brothers are all together and getting some much needed rest. Please know you are always in my heart.

Mark, I hope you, Mary and your kids are hanging in there and Mary's pain isn't so bad. I hate insurance companies and the bureacry that is involved with it all.

Hope everyone is well and staying cool thru this heat wave. Thursday is my surgery so I would appreciate your prayers. Thanks!

[write365]

Sorry I haven't been able to post as much lately. It's been pretty hectic around here. I haven't been sleeping well--I dreampt abou Leo last night. Grandmother is obsessing about my going to band camp(I leave on sunday). I don't really know why. It's just been really stressful. She and I fight about such petty things. Oh well. This too, shall pass. i'm praying for you all.

ashley

[tinasdad]

Father, we ask Your hand of healing to touch Laura through the surgery. Let all go well for her, and heal her quickly. Let Ashley and her family have resolution about these issues. Let there be peace with her grandmother.

Ashley, have a lot of fun at camp. Was your dream about happy things? Do you have the feeling he is telling you something? This happens at times.

Laura, I will stay in prayer for you during your surgery. If you need anything, just ask.

Well, today is here, and my wife is not well. The seizures are still bad, as is her pain, but we're holding on. Laura, thanks for the thoughts about insurance companies. I am quickly learning to despise them all. I am thankful for all your prayers. These are the times that try our faith, whether we abide in His Spirit.

[write365]

Today is the sixth-month anniversary of Leo's death. It's wierd, I don't feel any different. People think I'm crazy--"HE was just your uncle". but we were really close. I'm praying for all of you, and also for the victims of the terror attacks in london.

[tinasdad]

Ashley, "he was just your [whoever]" means little when you love someone. The loss you feel is as deep as the love you shared. Let your grief have its place. We will continue to pray for you.

[lauraa]

Hi Mark,

Off to bed but I wanted to let you know my surgery went well and I am fine...Thank you so much for your prayers...I am really sore today, though so hopefully a good night sleep and I will be good to go....Your all in my daily prayers.

Lauraa

[tinasdad]

Laura, I think we're in for a quiet week. It seems a few are on holiday. I'm praying for your recovery, although you're probably ready to go dancing by now. If you need anything, just let us know, and my wife and I will gladly help.

LauraAnne, give yourself a lot of "you time." You need to have it to make yourself feel good again. I tell ladies to paint their nails, do a bubble bath, or candles, you know, those special things for you. Try candles with frankencense in them: it will remind you of God's presence and prayer. I'm praying for you.

Christy, thanks for the advice. You are the best buddy a guy can have. I'm sure my brother is taking care of his niece. I have to go into NYC to get Stacey's death certificate Tuesday. I'm sure it'll be painful. If I freak out, maybe I'll call you.

Stacey, dad loves you.

[junecleaver42]

Hi everyone, just a quick question, is it normal to miss someone so much that you wish you could also go to heaven just to see them? I know I cant go right now, i have things to do.....but the pain of missing Ed is so bad at times....my son said it perfect tonight to me, its a numbness inside accompanied with horrible pain. I am so thankful God gave me Ed, who in turn gave me our children, Angela, Jason, Matthew and Jordan. Ed lives on through everything they do, they way they smile, or pet the dogs, or make coffee for me. I miss him so much, I have been asking and praying for strength, it just seems so hard. thank you for listening, Carol

[lauraa]

Carol,

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I have been posting on various sites here for about a year now and the one theme I seem to hear over and over again by so many is exactly what you said. I think in our minds we "know" the only way to be with our loved ones is by death ourselves. It is so hard, this grieving.....the toughest thing I have ever had to do in my life. It has been 14 months for me and I still ask "why". I still cry. And, yes I see my husband in all three of my kids just like you do. They are the ones who have kept me grounded even though in the beginning I wasn't sure how the hell I was going to stay sane enough to get them thru it all. Somehow, someway we do get thru it. I had to take one minute at a time before I could take a day at a time. I had times of numbness (probally the first 6 months)and then spells of it. I think it is our psychic protecting us....as there is only so much pain we can handle at once. The isolation is difficult as people just don't know how to handle these things in our society. Even our closest friends don't know how to deal with our loss. I have been shocked by alot of people. I think it just hits close to home and no-one wants to know it could happen to them. Please know you can always write your feelings here and never be judged as they are "all" normal. Answer to your question is yes, it is a normal feeling but not to carry it thru....you will find out thru this journey (this sucky journey) that your dear Ed "is" with you! And, that is what will carry you thru this. Until you meet again.....Keep writing and in the meantime I will keep you and your children in my prayers.

Mark,

I hope things are quiet for you and Mary is feeling o.k. You need to listen to George Straits new song...#4 on the new CD..I think it's called, I'LL BE THERE.

Nikki,

I pray for you all everyday and I hope you and your brothers are all hanging in there. We all love you!

[tinasdad]

Laura, I'm a little emotional with certain songs right now. My buddy had to push me out of a gig in NYC Saturday nite. I was a wreck. Elton's Norma Jean? lol.

Carol, the desire to be with the one you love so much is natural. You have to balance that with the love you have for your babies, and they need mom for comfort and peace now too. They may be all grown up, or whatever age, but they will always need mom.

In 2000, I was in a coma for 8 days, and I saw things I can't describe. Was it Heaven? You tell me. It was beautiful, big, and holy. In time, you ladies will be reunited with your husbands, and I will see my wife. She's still alive, but not in spirit. She can't take this pain anymore. You can tell my heartache, and I thank you for your prayers. I always hold you in prayer.

Nikki, I'm so sorry I missed your call. I was at some dump in the city, and well . . . Please call soon. We love you.

Stacey, Dad loves you.

[lauraa]

Mark,

I can feel the pain and anxiety you are going thru. Sorry if I offended you by recommending a song. How can I help you? Please let me know what I could do for you? Even though you are a christian man it is o.k. to let out your feelings here so we can all help support you thru this pain.

God has put us all here together for a reason...there are no coincidences!

[tinasdad]

You haven't offended me, Laura. I'm just a little emotional. I love that song, and it fits, doesn't it? I sent you an e-mail to explain the whole thing about Stacey. I'm thankful I have a friend like you, but I'm not sure about letting all this out. If I melt down, I'll be sure to yell for help. Above all, I'm thankful for my wife, so supportive, and understanding that sometimes things just aren't what we expected.

Stacey, Dad loves you.

[kagansmommy]

Mark...you call anytime you feel the need. I will always be here for you. With the kid's visiting I might not be home but keep calling...I will be here sooner or later.

Laura...I'm glad your surgery went ok and you are back on your feet. I have been praying for you daily.

Carol...what you are feeling is perfectly normal and it's ok. I was watching my son saturday night and he is the perfect image of his father. We are divorced now but if anything were to happen to him he would live on thru our son and that is a wonderful thing. It will be 6 months on thursday that my baby passed away..he was 18 months old. I still want to die to be with him. My arms ache so bad to hold him again. At times the pain is unbearable and death seems like the only way out. But like you I still have things to do here. So until it is time for me to reunite with my baby boy I will live for him and because of him.

I will be praying for you to find the strength you need.

Christy

"Mommy loves you Kagan"

[lauraa]

O.K. Everybody...I must be feeling better as I just "gorged" myself with peanut M&M's.......my tummy hurts! Nitey Nite! I hope this is good for lol anyway!

[tinasdad]

No fair making me envy you! Chocolate triggers my migraines. lol. It's good to hear you enjoyed treating yourself, and I'm happy to hear you're feeling better. We're still praying for you.

Christy, you're the best buddy a guy can have. I'll be careful in the Big Apple, even if you know I drive like that truck's my Vette. Thanks for all you do.

Bon nuit.

Stacey, Dad loves you.

[tinasdad]

Laura, I'm praying for you and your children. Your husband is proud of you for being a wonderful Mom to his children, for carrying on even though you hurt so much. Treat yourself with gentle kindness: you're a friend. I bought that CD. It's too beautiful, and now I'm all emotional.

Christy, I'm back. I'm tired, but home. Thanks, buddy. I'll write to you when I wake up, after a long sleep.

Stacey, Dad loves you.

[tinasdad]

Welcome home Ashley. I'm glad to hear you had so much fun at camp.

Christy, thank you for those kind and comforting words. It's been a tough weekend.

I keep all of you in my prayer. Prayers for a pleasant week. Mark

[junecleaver42]

Hi everyone, so sorry I have not been online lately, the house was struck by lighting. Needless to say a lot of electrical got fried. Thank god the house didnt fry. We just got up and running on internet and satelite, finally have the air conditioner going and seems like all is fixed except the garage door openers. Dont have much time to talk now but will check in this weekend, have a nice night, Carol

[tinasdad]

Carol, thankfully, your home is relatively intact. If you need anything to get back to normal, feel free to ask. We're always here to help as much as we can.

Lord, we don't know why it happened, but nature is what it is. We are thankful You kept Carol and her family safe through this. You are great!

Mark

[write365]

Well, I'm back from band camp. It was a grueling six days--I never got more than five hours sleep. We rehearsed six hours a day. The food was disgusting, and according to my pedometer I walked thirty miles in six days. Also, the dormitories didn't have airconditioning and it was about ninety all week. I also got my first boyfriend, who plays oboe.

But there is another problem. My grandmother--who lives iwth us, as you know--has to have eye surgery. She has secondary cataracts as well as glaucoma and high eye pressure: her pressure a couple days ago was up to 40 and a good number would be 12. please pray for her, as her surgery is on friday, and we're all nervous

ashley

[lauraa]

Hi Everyone,

Please don't think I haven't had you all in my prayers cause I have! My dumb pc crashed and I'm using my sons today...I'll be back soon!

Love to all.

[tinasdad]

Lord, You are the great Healer, so we ask You heal Ashley's grandmother, even if by surgery, of this condition. You know best how to heal her, so we gently let her rest in Your arms, so You can care for her. Take care of our friend, Laura, who has many things to tend to now. Let her feel the peace of knowing You are with her, and guiding her through the days ahead.

Ashley, was the food honestly that bad? lol. I'm happy to hear you have a boyfriend. He must be nice, because he's a musician. Let us know how your grandmother is doing, and we'll keep praying for her. I like that military prayer, and sent it about.

Laura, it sounds like Nikki's "appliance alliance" is trying to strike your computer too. Take care of that contraption. If you need a really big hammer, I'll let you borrow mine. lol. Mark

Stacey, Dad loves you.

[write365]

Well, my grandmother's surgery went well. we ended up staying another night at the hotel, but that' s okay. The doctor said that when he made the insicion (why can't I spell????) in her eye that there was some jelly under the cornea that was supposed to be in the back of her eye---um...gross!! She can't see hardly at all because one eye has such high pressure, and the other eye is pretty p**** off, lol. but she should be fine, god willing.

ashley

[tinasdad]

Ashley, take gentle care of her. I'm praying for her, your Mom, and you. It may take a few days or weeks to notice a big improvement, but it will happen for her. Thanks for updating our group of friends here. Mark

[lauraa]

Hi Mark,

Sorry I haven't been around but my pc hasn't been co-operating...how are you and your family doing? I hope everyone's o.k.

Nikki,

I think of you each and everyday and I hope you and your brothers are o.k. Remember, your dear mom is in heaven, no-more emotional pain or suffering....and she is with you always. Don't be afraid as she just paved the way for you all for the day you are all together again but in the meantime she is watching you all live your beautiful lives and fulfilling your purpose here. Look for her and she will show you signs...along with your angels. God bless you and write me if you ever need to vent, cry, scream, even swear...it is o.k. and I'm a great listener....it is all o.k.

[tinasdad]

Laura, welcome back. I'm sorry your computer has been acting up. My wife is still hanging on, but getting a little weaker as each week passes us by. My boys are doing well, and I'm okay, but a little tired. I keep you and your children in prayer always. You will see your husband again, and when you do, I am sure you will never again remember this heartache. The beauty of Heaven, the thrill of being with him, will give you an eternity of joy.

[tinasdad]

FROM NIKKI. She asked me to say hi to you all on her behalf, and tell you that she's still hanging in there. She's enjoying a vacation with a friend.

Lord, watch over Nikki, and may Your angels guard her precious heart. Fill her and her dear brothers with Your loving comfort in the days and weeks ahead, especially as they return to school. We are thankful for Your care and lovingkindness given to them.

[lauraa]

Hi Mark,

Thanks for the message from Nikki. I am glad she is finding time with a friend and I am sure she needed time away to recoup. I am sorry Mark for all the hardships you have suffered in your life. You have come a long way and I know it wasn't easy or pretty at times. If any of us can tell the truth it never is! I am so very to hear of the loss of your daughter. I know from your writing that your heart is broken. You keep your head up as hard as it is. I never thought I could or would make it at all without my husband or my dad. ANd, I always thought I would have my husband to see me thru the loss of my dad but I didn't....in the end that also broke my husbands heart. There were so many losses for both of us and our family. It is all the little things that we grieve that meant so very much. I knew when I was married that I had a real gem and I continue to know that more and more each day. I have to just learn how to have him on a different plain and I have. He has come to me many times and I feel him with me always. I just cry and ache that he suffered so much...what a great man and I will never figure out why this had to happen. Sometimes, I just have to numb myself as it is all to much to bear. I guess that is my psyche taking care of my. You hang in there and stay in the moment as I know your plate is full but just know you have friends who care and have you and your family in their prayers.

[lauraa]

Hi Mark,

Thanks for the message from Nikki. I am glad she is finding time with a friend and I am sure she needed time away to recoup. I am sorry Mark for all the hardships you have suffered in your life. You have come a long way and I know it wasn't easy or pretty at times. If any of us can tell the truth it never is! I am so very to hear of the loss of your daughter. I know from your writing that your heart is broken. You keep your head up as hard as it is. I never thought I could or would make it at all without my husband or my dad. ANd, I always thought I would have my husband to see me thru the loss of my dad but I didn't....in the end that also broke my husbands heart. There were so many losses for both of us and our family. It is all the little things that we grieve that meant so very much. I knew when I was married that I had a real gem and I continue to know that more and more each day. I have to just learn how to have him on a different plain and I have. He has come to me many times and I feel him with me always. I just cry and ache that he suffered so much...what a great man and I will never figure out why this had to happen. Sometimes, I just have to numb myself as it is all to much to bear. I guess that is my psyche taking care of my. You hang in there and stay in the moment as I know your plate is full but just know you have friends who care and have you and your family in their prayers.

[tinasdad]

Laura, there are many painful days for you, I'm sure. I always hold you and your children in prayer, knowing that our Lord will comfort you all. At times, numbing yourself is the only way of facing the pain. Don't do things that you know will upset you, and don't let people tell you how to heal. This is your time, and only you can do the healing, with God's help. We always appreciate your faithful prayers. My wife is much worse now than at the beginning of summer, so I have to keep my faith strong, and perspective sharp for her sake. As I can, I'll update you on her health. Mark

[lauraa]

Mark, I woke up thinking of everyone who post here and all their heartaches. I thought about you and all the stress and heartaches you have had and still do and somehow you still have the strength to say such supportive things to all of us here. You have helped me and I know so many others to gain strength ourselves and I thank you for that. I keep you, Mary and your family in my prayers.

Nikki, We love you!

Laura

[tinasdad]

Laura, thanks. I'd be lying if I told you I am always happy and cheerful. I have down days, too. I'm thankful for the friendship we all share here. Giving of myself for others is a natural part of my spirit. I only want to see people well and in harmony with themselves, their families, and God.

[write365]

we just got back from another appointment with my grandmother's eye doctor. It didn't go well. While her recently-operated-upon eye is quite well, the pressure in her bad eye is up to 58. 58!!! the doc says that they might have to do the surgery on the left eye very soon...two weeks. Grandmother is very depressed. her kids won't help out, and she's said flat out that she doesn't think she can go through the surgery again. She's wrong. She CAN do it again if she has to. And over salad and breadsticks at Olive Garden she said, "I give up. what's the point in all this?" I pointed out that I didn't give up when I was five years old with a 103 fever getting gammaglobulin transfusions and when she said she was old I said that elderly is a state of mind. Which isn't entirely true, but i had to say SOMETHING. She's incredibly depressed and sees no point in living. And the truth is, I'm not all that chipper myself, so I'm finding it hard to cheer her up. I'm fifteen. I'm getting to the point where I can't handle this, and my mother knows it, but she's getting that way herself. I know I take on too much responsibility, but what can I do?????? What can I do to cheer her up? I'm open to just about anything here.....

Ashley

[tinasdad]

Ashley, the weight of this is not for your shoulders to bear. You are a wise young lady, yet, in your own words, you're "only fifteen." Give yourself time for things you like to do, and act your age. . When you talk to your grandmother, be pleasant and cheerful, but if she doesn't respond positively to you, let her rest in her own spirit. The elderly reach a point of thinking about what lies ahead, so she may be doing that now. It doesn't mean her time of death is near, but that she's considering her future. Write a note to your boyfriend, play some music, and try to enjoy the day. Don't get too worried just yet, even though I know you're worried about today. I'm praying for you.

Laura, I always keep you and your children in prayer, for peace for your hearts. Nothing I scribble feels adequate to ease your pain, but know you have a friend who knows loss and grief, and my heart sends you a little consoling.

Mark

[lauraa]

Hello Everyone,

Just hoping that you all could help today by giving some scriptures that can help me regain my faith. I'm just not there since I lost my husband. I know anger, depression, etc. is all part of this madness of healing but does anyone have that one special scripture that helps them? Mine and my husbands was the Narrow Road and that is what we lived by. I'm just fighting the fight and some days it just seems like such a huge "uphill battle". I so tired. I know you all are tired too....I have you all in my heart daily!

[tinasdad]

Laura, When Jesus approached the grave of His friend Lazarus, the Gospel of John 11:35 says "Jesus wept." His weeping was an agonizing wail in grief for His friend. God's heart is broken by death. But, for faith, I always hold the fifteenth chapter of St Luke precious. It's the story of the prodigal son, a lot like I was when I was young. No matter how far into despair the son went, he knew his father would take him back and forgive him. I know how much you hurt, and the anger you have. I've known you here for several months. Direct the anger at those who are responsible for your loving husband's death, because God's will has always been to raise the sick and restore life. Laura, let your heart rest now. I will continue to pray for your peace. Mark

[erinsmom]

Hello All! It's me, Kitty, who has disappeared for a while. I'm still standing! Praise God!

Laura, there isn't a "Faith-o-Meter" that is strategically calculating your level of faith in our Heavenly Father. There is an abundance of patience that our Father continues to lather on each of us day after day. He loves you so much, ESPECIALLY in your hour of struggle. You are doing all the right things Laura, you are reaching out and I see very clearly that you are holding on with all your might! Thank you God for the faith that you have shared with us over the months. Laura, you continue to be a HUGE inspiration to those of us who would like to give up. You haven't, you won't, you will never surrender. You've been through far too much to let your guard completely down and let the enemy come flooding in. Yes, you've been tested. But I believe with all my heart that the darkest days are over. . . that you are on the rise and that soon you will start to feel a measure of joy in some activity that you dive into. It will only get better. God doesn't leave us in our dark hour of the soul forever. He knows your hurts, your lonliness, your pain. He wants to take it from you. GIVE IT TO HIM, ask Him to take your cup of pain and release you into a fullness of joy that you haven't experienced in a very long time. God Answers Prayer and He loves to transform the condition of our lives when we fully surrender our pain and suffering to Him. I am living proof. I am experiencing joy again and am in love with life like I have never been. Please be kind to yourself and know that you are a very, very, very faithful woman and that you are truly loved and cherished by God and also by many of us here who are rooting and praying for you daily.

Our Father, you called us and saved us in order to make us like your Son, our Lord Jesus Christ. Change us, day by day, by the work of your Holy Spirit so that we may grow more like Him inall that we think and say and do, to His glory. Amen

Hey, a big shout out to Christy and Mark - Love you Guys!

Laura, know that you are strong and steadfast. You are a woman of faith.

Love,

Kitty

[tinasdad]

Kitty, I know you better. You didn't disappear, although that sabbatical was a wild ride, eh. I'm happy you're right about that "faith-o-meter" cuz I'd be in a pile of trouble at times. It's good to see your pretty face amongst us again. I'm praying you get feeling better real soon.

Here's to everyone having a fantastic weekend. Light the barbies (not the plastic doll) and have fun! Mark

[tinasdad]

Good morning, everyone. This is His day, and He created it. Bless Him, worship Him, and thank Him for all the beauty in our world, even the hyperactive grandchildren. I'm praying for you all. Luv yaz, Mark

[lauraa]

Dear Kitty and Mark,

Kitty.....what a great surprise to get a response from you today....You sound stronger and better than ever. Thank you for your kind words of support for me. I don't have the answers as to why bad things happen to really good people(and, yes I have read that book). I will never understand why my beautiful, wonderful husband was taken from me so young...I can't even begin to describe my pain....and, I don't even think my psyche has let me grieve at my deepest level yet. I have days that if it were not for my beautiful children I'm not sure where I would be.....they are the gift my "soulmate" left me with. I see him in all of them. I am a faithful woman but the lonliness is so difficult and all the stages of grieving can be overwhelming and sometimes I get more than one emotion at a time like anger/depression....Mark, is right I will/do channel my anger . I prayed so hard to god to heal my husband and that did not happen which is probally one of the most difficult things for me...I guess there is a bigger plan that none of us know about....not yet.....someday.....Bless you Kitty and thank you from the bottom of my heart!

Mark......again, thank you for you support and care...I have you and your family in my prayers.

Nikki......you my dear are always in my prayers...You are closer to me than you know. God bless.....

I'll write later my son is ready for bed and I am in his room (It's like the Holiday Inn).....Nite!