Loss of an Adult Child

[ericasmom]

Clarabelle, keep reading and post whenever and however much you like, we are here, we care about your story. I will write more tomorrow, just got home and going to bed. Most important factor Clara, is you must be kind to yourself. I hope you can sleep a bit more tonight than you did yesterday.

Shannon, glad that the book pleases you. and the Boys. I agree, it is a book for all ages, I received it from GIFT OF LIFE Michigan, and I have used it for my own needs many times.

[Guest]

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[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

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[Guest Trista's_Mom]

Good Morning Everyone,

I'm having my coffee and waiting on my husband to get home from a business meeting. On Saturdays We always take fresh flowers to Trista's site and do any cleaning, trimming, etc. that needs done and just spend time. We also take fresh flowers to Trista's Angel spot. I read your words, Laurie, and will use that term from now on. I always struggle to explain to friends or family what I do on Saturdays. I despise the term "crash site" but had no other words. The words left a sour taste in my mouth. Everything on earth has changed, looks and sounds different now, even words and language are so different than they used to be. Words I used before without a second thought now pierce my heart and bring tears to my eyes. Thinking of you all today and wishing for a day of peace for us all.

Shannon

[ericasmom]

I agree with Shannon- Laurie, Angel Spot is a good term, a more positive vision enters the mind and spirit with that term. Shannon, I hope that you feel your Sweet Angel all around you.

Sherry, how goes the days and nights with two kids filled with energy?

Kate, I am so glad that you were able to help your dog, your sweet dog.

Lora, yes, moving forward and bringing your Girl with you through each day is what you are doing. We move through grief, but it does not mean grief ends, it changes, as do we. Some of you speak about not quite knowing who you are now, that will be an ongoing piece to this especially in the first two or so years as we were thrust into new roles and who we were automatically changed forever. There will be parts of that same lovely human that will be uncovered when some of the dust and ash are washed away, but there will be new parts too. When everything is different, sounds, tastes, hobbies, coping mechanisms, EVERYTHING, it is overwhelming. Sit and write or draw or go for a walk and let your mind wander a bit, it is there that we sometimes get a glimpse of our strength and our tenacity. And boy, do our Kids cheer us on. I always envisioned Eri on my shoulder saying, " stand in my light Momma, it is right there, stand in it so I know I am helping you live your best life now."

NOw this many years later I just ask Eri to help me see the good, help me stand for the good, help me do the work that would make you very proud of me.

Gretchen I think you said the other day that your Mom said that she sees the difference in you, and of course you can see it and feel it, we are changed and there is no way around it, but we do find as you are noticing, some small joys in the day, and they will grow. Like many of you, I too was the one who was always smiling and always laughing or making others laugh, and while that trait is still here, it is tempered with an anxiety that I work very hard to keep in check. We work within our changed selves.

[Guest Trista's_Mom]

Dee,

Your words are so soothing and help so much to turn some of these darker thoughts into lighter ones. I've had a few very dark days, with the meeting with the prosecutor this week and your words have helped get me through some of those darker times. I'm sure your Erica is proud of you for many many things but also for the way you come here and hold the hands of us who are so new to this journey... lending us your strength and experience. You give me hope that I will be able to come through this in a way that Trista will be proud of too. Thank you.

Laurie,

"I met a man once who had an NDE...he didn't know that is what it was, he just shared his experience of having a heart attack...he co-owned a large RV dealership and was transporting a trailer when this occurred....he finally got to the hospital but by then he was starting to exit his body...he said he never had known such peace...and it was into a white light he was drawn to...he said he did not want to come back, his wife was upset about that....I have often wondered about his sharing this with me....I knew his wife more as I had worked with her for a number of years...I think now of "God is Light and in Him there is no darkness at all..." that it is exactly that...."

I've read so many stories like this. They help give me a little peace and hope. I've never heard a first hand account but the ones I've read are so similar. It makes me think of Trista's Poem "Child of the Sun", found "accidentally" just before she left. It talks about the endless light... an unending day. I don't really know where I'm going with this as usual. Just my mind making connections. Trying to make sense of things.

Lora,

"To look at me, most people have no clue what is going on inside me."

I feel like this too. I don't work but I stay home with my 3 year old and have to smile and go about our day for him. When the Girls come to visit I am glad they do but it is so tiring. I feel like I have to smile and reassure them, make them feel better. I'm exhausted sometimes when they leave.

Thinking of you all today.

Shannon

[Mermaid Tears]

found this on FB....all will know how true these words are....

[shellykut]

Thank you all who called Sarah's name on her birthday...it really does the heart good to see their angels's name. I'm so thankful I found this website. You are all very special people.

[ericasmom]

Hi All,

boy it has been a week of good humans in our lives. Yesterday, husband and I were babysitting for the lovely Ms. Erica Elizabeth until my Son got home from work, so from say 4:00-6:30-ish. On Friday night, one of Erica's friends, Collin, got married. He is a great guy and well-loved. A few of Eri's good buddies flew in from various places for the event. So Caitlin flew in from New Orleans and wanted to come see us. Rebecca flew in from Utah and joined the girls, Bridget and Maggie. Bridget lives nearby as does Maggie, though Maggie has lived all over the world. Little Travelers this group. Many of Eri's friends have lived in amazing places in their quest to find their direction. Anyhow, the 4 girls met us over at Jon and Shannon and Erica's home. Cait began to cry at meeting Erica, and then seeing Jon as Dad. It was lovely really. We left Jon to his quiet time with Baby and her bedtime was looming, and we went to our house, three blocks away. There we sat on the deck until about midnight, just laughing, crying, and catching up. It hoisted my heart to sit with these amazing women, all of them finding their direction in different ways, on different timelines, and with full hearts, open and ready. I put out the three remaining party lights from ERI-fest and had music playing that reminded us all that ERI is wrapped around us in her loving way, as Neil Young sang, Long may you run, long may you run...

[Guest Trista's_Mom]

Dee,

It sounds like a beautiful weekend for you with family, little Erica Elizabeth, and Eri's friends.

Susan,

The quote you posted is so true. I shared it with my Grandmother because it mentions Grandparents. She's struggling because so few of her friends understand her pain. They say things like "She was only your Great Grandaughter, right?" Without understanding the family dynamics. I was raised by my Grandmother, so she was more my Mother. For most of Trista's life we lived next door to her and my Grandpa, so they were a daily part of each other's lives. Thanks for sharing it.

I had a dream last night with Trista in it. It was an odd dream and didn't make much sense. Tris and Zak were both much younger but Aiden was there as well. I woke up crying but wouldn't trade it for the world to have those moments of having all three of my children together even if the dream was nonsense.

Wishing everyone a beautiful Sunday.

Shannon

[ericasmom]

Susan, I loved that quote as well, so true...how are you doing these days? Are you feeling like you are getting some much needed rest after putting together the BIG memorial event? I hope that you can rest.

Shannon, it was pretty magical. Earlier in the week to have 8 of my former students share their lives before embarking on college and what lies beyond high-school, and then to have extra time before school starts with these wonderful life-long friends of Eri's just fills me. I am so proud of them each. And I see us in these experiences too, different timelines, no one way to do things, sharing their hearts...It is sad that your Grandmom even has to deal with ignorant comments from folks that just don't get it. Loss is not rated by who others think we should mourn deeply, it is our sadness for losing the relationship of someone dear to us, it is for outliving one so fresh and ready.

[Jeff's Mom]

Hi All,

boy it has been a week of good humans in our lives. Yesterday, husband and I were babysitting for the lovely Ms. Erica Elizabeth until my Son got home from work, so from say 4:00-6:30-ish. On Friday night, one of Erica's friends, Collin, got married. He is a great guy and well-loved. A few of Eri's good buddies flew in from various places for the event. So Caitlin flew in from New Orleans and wanted to come see us. Rebecca flew in from Utah and joined the girls, Bridget and Maggie. Bridget lives nearby as does Maggie, though Maggie has lived all over the world. Little Travelers this group. Many of Eri's friends have lived in amazing places in their quest to find their direction. Anyhow, the 4 girls met us over at Jon and Shannon and Erica's home. Cait began to cry at meeting Erica, and then seeing Jon as Dad. It was lovely really. We left Jon to his quiet time with Baby and her bedtime was looming, and we went to our house, three blocks away. There we sat on the deck until about midnight, just laughing, crying, and catching up. It hoisted my heart to sit with these amazing women, all of them finding their direction in different ways, on different timelines, and with full hearts, open and ready. I put out the three remaining party lights from ERI-fest and had music playing that reminded us all that ERI is wrapped around us in her loving way, as Neil Young sang, Long may you run, long may you run...

If anyone deserves a chance to move along with happiness...it is you! It sounds as if you were surrounded by much love and happiness this weekend. So happy that you are able to find this source of comfort. Eri is definitely sending positive vibes. In time we all will find comfort in seeing our children's friends moving along. Life it just that. We need to take the positive and move forward with it. They are gone and we need to slowly process it and move forward. This is now a time for us to live our lives. That is what they would want for all of us. Wishing everyone a lovely evening. Kate

[ericasmom]

Well thanks Kate, we all deserve a hope-filled life I think. I wonder if you are seeing the meteor showers tonight...we are cloudy so we won't see them, maybe tomorrow.

Sleep tight all, deep sleep and good visit dreams.

[Guest Trista's_Mom]

I'm sitting outside tonight. I have a nice fire going and a chai latte... Hoping to catch a few meteors. I've seen one so far. It's a pretty clear night her so we'll see. Aiden has been asking for a "fire night" for awhile. I've been promising but when it comes time I haven't been able. Fires were Trista's thing. From the time she was little we would have fires in the evening, roast marshmallows, tell stories, do sparklers. We would sit quietly and listen to all the sounds of the night. She called it "night music". I almost put him off again tonight but then I imagined Trista beside me saying you can do it, Mom. For Aiden and for me. I'll be there. So, Aiden got his fire, marshmallows, and sparklers. As he was dancing around with his sparkler, he reminded me so much of Tris. Swirling and dancing and then I knew she really was there. In our hearts, in memory, in Aiden's blond hair and blue eyes so much like hers, and in Spirit. I could feel her all around. Aiden has long since gone to bed and I am still here. Listening to the night music and thinking of my Angel.

[ericasmom]

Beautiful Shannon, simply beautiful. You filled Aidan's hopes and Trista's with that decision, and then you found yourself filled too. Lovely.

[Mermaid Tears]

I will be telling all my 'friends' about John David's Memorial 'Blessing and Scattering' of his ashes in Port Aransas....at a later day...I am so over the top with emotion...with grief and blessings...so many layers of all the days...the beach..the sky and water...and memories...and I feel as if I am recovering from a horrific illness...exhaustion..and rising to the occasion...many portals have opened...

I want to tell you, Becky...I think your handiwork and love and imagination stand out in your Sonshine boy's sign....it can only make those traveling have a 'pause' to reflect the deep meaning...and realize you are coming from a place where you do not want other's to tread....it will always be a 'good thing'....your community is so much richer for you and your heart.

Dee....I copied many of your original poems and took them with me...I had to have a 'guide' go with me....I shared them with 'some'...

Carol...I had copied one of your posts....and I printed it and took it with me....

Gretchen....my GRANDson, Austin, read the poem you posted as his urn was put in the water....I loved the line...'But you were something more than young and sweet and fair,---and the long year remembers you.

Lora...I bought urns for each of his siblings...and on them I copied what you posted....'Dude..in the end it is right. I hope you have the time of your life.'....I know I did not get it all the way it was...but...it was just like out of his mouth to his sister and brothers...and there was not enough room to copy it word for word.

I learn so much from each of you...Laurie...Shannon...I wish we could all be with you in human form...to help you as you travel the road of twisted turns for justice...I have learned that 'justice is not just' all the time....I do not have to deal with those issues...but many on this site have..and know where you walk....but I will be beside you in the days ahead.

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

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[Mermaid Tears]

Just wanted to post this thought....for it is an important issue for me now....as Dee and several others have posted....'self care' needs to be a priority for each of you...and...even for those who loved ones have passed for some time....do not try to 'hurry along' this grief path..or circumvent your deep sadness....just 'go with the flow'....and let go of the ones that ' don't do' what you need to hear or can't be what you need them to do....there was that scene from 'Steel Magnolias'...where Sally Fields talks about the men in her life...how they walked away when her daughter was dying...and she was the only one left to hold her hand. My husband and son, Jeremy, simply could not create the music for the boat ride....they started...they got angry...and as anyone knows...anger is sometimes posed as fear or frustration...not wanting or knowing how to do something....I got it done...finally called my son, Jesse, to create two more for me...then I had to transfer the ashes to the biodegradable urn and the small urns for each sibling....my husband could not face it and had to go to the bedroom til I was finished. I thought I would have someone to 'help' me.....so....I know that many on this site are like me....you are the 'in charge' person...and everyone looks to you to get it done...and you do and will. I realized, too, that my 'self-care' is MY priority, too.....so....take care of YOUR take care.

[Mermaid Tears]

I don't know if you still read our posts...but Del....I thought of you..knowing there was some Mom out there..sharing the day with me...

[Guest Trista's_Mom]

Susan,

Thank you for keeping me in you thoughts. This is such a tough time. I've wanted to share more with you all because there is so much going on right now. I just hesitate because I don't know what is okay to share yet from a legal aspect and don't want to compromise anything. I have been thinking of you a lot and about John David's Memorial. I can understand your need to "rest" after all of this. What you have shared sounds beautiful. I appreciate your post reminding of "Self Care". I struggle with this. I am so busy taking care of my boys. I do push myself for their sake. I am trying to make sure I take care of myself too.

Laurie,

Your description of this "place" is perfect. I am thinking of you today. I know this is so hard. I completely understand your statement about a reality that you still deny at some levels.

Dee,

Thank you for your thoughts on our "fire night" last night. I'm glad I did it and I truly know in my heart that Trista was there and she supports me through all these things.

Shannon

[ericasmom]

Shannon, this is the song that I cry with, along with about 100 others, but this one because I want to see her dance again, Eri was my sprite. Dancing around the flames in the night, yes.

Susan, I am honored that you took me with you and I am so proud of you taking care of yourself after this exhuasting time.

http://www.songstube.net/video.php?title=Harvest%20Moon&artistid=10792&artist=neil%20young&id=1522

[Guest Trista's_Mom]

Dee,

This song is perfect. Thank you for sharing it. To see Tris dance again ... Thinking of all of you tonight.

Shannon

[Guest Trista's_Mom]

“I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart)

I am never without it (anywhere I go you go,my dear;

and whatever is done by only me is your doing,my darling)

I fear no fate (for you are my fate,my sweet)

I want no world (for beautiful you are my world,my true)

and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;

which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart)”

― e.e. Cummings

Another poem post. I find that poems and music are healing for me. They help me imagine Trista in beautiful ways. I have pictures in my head from the night she left that are so painful. They are the images that jolt me out of sleep. The ones that pop up during an otherwise beautiful memory and turn my stomach to concrete. Through poems and songs I'm able to "see her" and try to replace those images with more beautiful ones, the way I imagine her now. If one really touches me, I think of you all and share.

Thinking of you all today and wishing a day of peace.

Shannon

[Mermaid Tears]

That song always reminds me of my parent's dancing....

And those that have gone before us and have suffered the same grief...are smiling with joy that their words can still reach out and touch us...and carry us...

[tobyfreefoot]

whoops

[tobyfreefoot]

"Know thou, verily, God hath preferred the insight to the sight, because the sight seeth the material things, while the insight apprehendeth the spiritual. The former witnesseth the earthly world, while the latter seeth the world of the Kingdom. The former’s judgment is temporary, while the latter’s vision is everlasting." --`Abdu'l-Bahá

i guess if the insight apprehendeth the spiritual things i should quit looking looking looking in the material world and look more inside than out. the one thing i was sure of at the time is when i put my arms around forest in the casket and suddenly felt so peaceful and happy not at all like a mother holding her dead son with his face covered because shewas not allowed to see it. that incredible feeling pulled me through for days. i told perfect strangers about it. now i doubt it. why? i didn't doubt it at the time, it felt like a miracle. now i'm thinking - i was just so relieved to have him back so i could hold him, i was in shock whatever but i remember turning before they closed the casket (i had wondered how i was going to stand that) when my good friend i hadn't seen in 15 years walked in. she was the only one in the aisle walking towards me and her wild curly blonde hair glowed like a halo. as soon as i saw her we embraced and i started telling her about it at the same time she was asking "are you at peace, are you at peace" i never saw them close the casket.

[Guest]

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[Guest Trista's_Mom]

I have spent the day with tears in my eyes and a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I finally had to address all the paperwork for insurance, etc. that was adding up. Writing Trista's name on a line marked deceased will never cease to turn my stomach and cause a break down. I know one day all this paperwork, all these legal things will be done and then I will be able to focus on my Trista's beautiful life instead of how she died. It's only been two and half months though and I know this is a long way off.

Gretchen,

I have doubts as well. I know at the time that the message is what it is and it brings such love and peace but as Lora said, later I wonder... am I just looking for something, anything? But I know that feeling I have at the time, that peace is real. Someone suggested to me to keep a journal of these things soon after they come, while that feeling is still there and when I'm low and doubting, I will be able to read them again. I've started doing that.

Lora,

It's that exactly. I do give the boys all the energy I have and more. Most days I'm tapping into reserves that I didn't know existed but I am so thankful that they keep me going.

[Mermaid Tears]

Yes Lora....it always seemed the party started when he came through the door....

Gretchen..Lora..Shannon..and all the others....what you have been 'talking about'....wondering if it is 'for real'.....

When the NDE talk about what happened...EACH one talks about this 'absolute Unconditional Love and Peace' they feel.....so Gretchen...when you were holding your child...in some Sweet Gift of Grace...that was transferred to you...to hold and sustain you...and I would bet my last dollar...that it was 'the real deal'....and now...come the second guesses....but hold still....for you know...what was placed on you that day....and for others and the signs and feelings...Dee talks about 'knowing'...others talk about those little nudges...in our 2 plus 2 world....it is hard to figure out...but I for one...will believe...and I believed before my SONshine passed....

Shannon...thank you for sharing your hard day....I was the one that had to 'make the calls'...paperwork...etc....sometimes I would have to say..'excuse me' many times when on the phone...just to put two sentences together...even after a year....I cannot trust myself..for the sobs bubble up from my heart...in a nano second...just 'grit your teeth and get-r-done'....that part will pass....thankfully.

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

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[Guest]

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[ericasmom]

Laurie, I am glad that you are taking the 'self-care' advice that Susan talks about. It is very important and we would insist on it for anyone we love and care about, so take this same step for YOU. Rest, fluids, protein, more rest...Be well.

Lora, I am glad that you will take the day to be with Jared. Goodness knows that seeing your Son ready to go off for a new experience is both lovely and tearful. Jared is a lucky young man, he has your love and support in his endeavors, and he carries Cara in his heart wherever he goes. Prayers that Jared's time in Chicago is filled with good times and a great education and super friends.

Gretchen, I agree with the others, that immediate sense of calm and peace that you received was given to you directly from Forest. I do believe that. I understand the questioning, it is what we do to find our place on the belief lines we draw. I always believed in spirits, the spirit world, angels, visits, guardians, messages, energies, that sort of thing. About a month and a half after Eri died, I was walking through the nearby forest preserve and I stopped in my tracks when I felt something on my head. I felt something warm tingling my head, I looked up to the sky to see what was poring into me from above but there was nothing to see, simply to feel. And the feeling was warm and it spread through me in such a wonderful way, I was made peaceful by this. I realized while standing there looking skyward, that Eri was poring her peace into me, from heaven into me. I could feel what she was feeling. She gave that to me, a gift beyond these earthly constraints. A message of purity.

I do believe that Forest was giving you a gift, his Momma needed to feel his peace.

[JD's Mom, Becky]

Mother's ring, wearing on my left hand in place of the wedding ring that I lost in 2012. (Click on pic to enlarge), all my kids birthdates engraved inside.Jared was my youngest child.

I am trying to just keep busy to take my mind off of the fact that we are waiting to hear whether or not they will decide to bring charges on the driver before the statute of limitations is up. It will be two years on October 3rd, and if they don't do anything by then, it won't happen.

I know that no matter which way it goes, none of that will bring back my child, but seeking truth and justice is all that has kept me on my feet on this nearly two year journey. None of this would be necessary if anyone was the least bit remorseful or honest about what happened....

Thanking all of you for giving me courage and hope to continue, and a soft place to land.

[Guest Trista's_Mom]

Becky,

Your ring is beautiful... a symbol of a Mother's unbroken love for her children.

I'm really wishing resolution for you in your legal pursuits. I have only been here with you all a short time but can see you have fought so hard for Jared.

Lora,

I'm glad you will have this day with Jared. I hope it's a beautiful day together.

You're right, all of our Children, the ones still here and the ones who've left have such beautiful Spirits. I've gone back as I can to read and try to learn about each of your and the Children. I like to imagine that maybe they've all met up over there and maybe have even helped to bring us together here.

Dee,

I love the story of your gift from Eri while walking through the forest... Beautiful.

Laurie,

I love that quote. Still thinking of you and holding your hand. I'm glad you're a taking time to rest.

Shannnon

[Mermaid Tears]

I am sure that Dee will let me post this poem she wrote...about signing papers...for our child...nothing can prepare a parent for this duty....there isn't a school..or class...or mentor....that can teach this..thank you, Dee.....

[ericasmom]

Susan, I just got back from working in my classroom, oh my it has to look worse before it can look better. I am going out for a bike ride right now, it is in the high 60's, my favorite weather.

You may print and post my poetry Susan, I love that you get from it what I feel while writing it.

[Janineerrn]

Hi Everyone,

I guess I should have posted here first. First I would like to say my heart aches for all of you. I lost my daughter unexpectedly on June 26th. Her name is Michelle, she was 26. She left behind my 4 year old granddaughter. My granddaughter was with her when she died and alone overnight. I have no words to describe my pain. I have not been able to grieve properly because i have to keep my walls and defenses up until after the custody hearing on Monday. My daughters ex decided he wants his daughter after not seeing her for almost 3 years. Life changed in an instant. I am so lost with out my daughter.

Janine

Michelle's mother

[ericasmom]

Janine, I am so very sorry for the absolute pain and ache you are feeling as you grieve your Daughter, Michelle. I am doubly sorry that your little Grandgirl has to go through this loss and then the struggle you are facing in the courts with her Dad. Are you being represented by a lawyer who has had some experience with this kind of custody issue? Does the Dad live near you? I am sending my hope that you are able to raise your Grandgirl if this is what would be best for you and she.

Please come as often as you like and tell us your story, your Daughter's story as you see fit. We are all of us grieving, some with little ones around, some raising Grandies, all different stories but all similar heartache. Don't worry about knowing our names and our Children's names for now, it will come to you as you post and read. Prayers to you and your Little One.

[daveydow1]

Hello to all my BI friends. I haven't been on the board for several

days......so busy. Am trying to catch up on all the posts.

Janine-----I am so sorry for your loss of your dear daughter, Michelle. The

heartache you feel must be overwhelming. Also, facing the courts about

the ex wanting custody of your sweet little granddaughter is so worrisome

for you. I'm glad that you have found this site because everyone here

is helpful, and knows the pain, sorrow, and despair of losing a child. I've

been on here....along with Dee....for 10 yrs. now. It has been a lifeline.

Please come back to BI (formerly called Beyond Indigo). Wishing you

peace.

Dee-----Well, I survived the grandies for 5 days. Wow...those little guys

have so much energy at that age (6 & 8). My husband helped a lot.

I needed extra time to rest upafter they went home .

They are good kids, and I do realize that they will only be little for awhile,

so am glad to have them when they come to visit. I made so many ice cream

cones, I seemed to be dreaming of making them.

PEACE AND COMFORT TO ALL INDIGOS.

Davey&Lisasmom, Sherry

[Guest]

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[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

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[Mermaid Tears]

Lora....you hit on something that has always been a wonder to me...for I was on the internet....looking up something very different...and I was 'led' to this site....your Cara...my John David...working together....so we could be together....and all the others....and what I find....is the 'dates' are so intermingled...amazing...you having to say good bye to your son....I just had to say good bye to my Jeremy....yes....we wish we could just hold them...but that is not the way....for we move forward...and I have always been that kind of Mom...that sends them on their journey with love...and best wishes....support....and the wind beneath their wings...

[Mermaid Tears]

Oh sweet Mama Laurie....you come through...and you are felt by many on this site...we hold you....and we know where you are right now....and all we can offer you....is that we know...your Mama Love is hurting...is crying...is so deep in sadness.....so....you just go ahead and cry...and then....wrap yourself in all the ways you can to bring you to the place of 'peace..healing..comfort'.....for you know your SONshine boy only wants you to have that Grace and Mercy...he does not want you to hurt...never....no....not your boy.

[Guest Trista's_Mom]

Janine,

I'm so sorry for the loss of your Michelle. I'm glad you found your way here. My loss is very recent as well. This journey is so painful but there is a lot of understanding and support here. I'm thinking of you and your little Granddaughter. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with these legal things on top of your loss.

Sherry,

I'm glad you had such a nice visit with your Grandchildren. I bet they are dreaming of ice cream too.

Lora,

I've not had one of my children head out into the world yet but I'm sure it's a bittersweet time knowing how much you will miss them mixed when pride and excitement for them. I'm glad you had today with Jared before he left.

Dee,

I know this is a busy time getting ready for school to start. I taught Pre-K for years. I remember the excitement of getting ready for a new year.

Susan,

Thank you for sharing Dee's poem today and Dee, thank you for writing and sharing these feelings. It helped. I saved it to my desktop. I hope that's okay.

Wishing everyone a restful sleep.

Shannon

[Guest Trista's_Mom]

Laurie,

We posted at the same time, I think. Thank you for sharing that picture. I actually have a statue of that very picture. It is beautiful. I have no words to help at all, I so wish I did. Just know how much I'm thinking of you and in Spirit holding your hand. Just like Susan said, we are all here.

Shannon

[Mermaid Tears]

Shannon....I visit your Baby Girls site....and you...there you are in all your empty sadness....sending out love to all....yes...you and your Trista are moving along a beautiful star dust of healing....we know how you are hurting...and still....you send love and healing words to all of us....it seems to come from a primordial place....it is good and kind and filled with mercy....

[Mermaid Tears]

I wake...every..morning and say....

What will I do...

without you...??

[ericasmom]

Becky, I love your Momma Ring. It is so pretty, a touchstone to each child, to each heart.

Laurie, hang on, the road is rough and filled with places where we fall even deeper than we thought possible but we also get back up, and we find the beauty again one day, and it is prettier than we thought possible as well. Algebra? The equal and opposite on each side of the equation, and loss is our equation in which to solve how to live and breathe and honor our Sweethearts, how to love fully when our hearts have withstood the battering of loss.

Lora, you are a lovely woman, sending your Boy off to this next chapter.

Shannon, I am excited but it is bittersweet at the same time, the freedom to wander through the days will come to a close and Lord and Eri know I am a wanderer. Glad that the poem strikes a note for you.

Susan, you give that support as well, and I do believe it is one of the biggest factors of the healing process for us, that we reach out and help lift the next

person through this labyrinth is a way to nurture our hearts as well.

Rest Sherry, what a workout you had, but what delight too.

Have to go to school to work on my classroom, wish me luck, I am one of those slow to get done people.

[Mermaid Tears]

Keep your faith....

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

Heb. 11:1

this is for all of us that 'wonder' and question where our children are...

[Mermaid Tears]

Becky....there is a lot of Mama Love in that ring.....

When I send birthday greetings to my 'children'...I always write....

I use to hold you in my arms...now I hold you in my heart...and put a photo of me holding them when they were little....