Loss of an Adult Child

[ashleysmom]

To all who are questioning their decisions about getting rid of their child's things. I have Ashley's clothes, shoes, etc. I am on the other end, knowing I need to get rid of some of the "stuff", but I can't seem to do it. They are not Ashley, I do not even look at some of it, can't. But I have bags of things and when I go to my attic, I fall apart, just seeing the bags. These are not her clothes, it's her shoes, things she outgrew, things she put up there, I just can't seem to get rid of anything. I have not been able to take her bed down or her bowflex and she had moved from my house three days before she died, so it's not as if this room should be a shrine, it's not but I still can't do it. My living daughter is expecting a baby and I would love to make the baby a beautiful nursery, but I can't take any of the big items out of the room. Ashley's bed is huge, it really needs to come down. I have loads of pictures, scrapbooks, locks of hair etc, why do I keep 20 pair of sneakers? I would like to someday make a quilt out of her favorite clothes, but other than that I have everything still. I even have her toothbrush, deodorant, make-up...everything. Just can't get rid of anything. I wish I had gotten rid of some of the "things" back when I was still protected by shock, now I feel as if it would be a betrayel to get rid of anything. I actually lost it on New Years day over this very subject. I just don't know what to do. Maybe if I try not to think about it for another six months and see how I feel, revisit the pain...don't know. Sorry for the rambling, Dottie

[mamabets]

For Ashleysmom- You mentioned how you might want a quilt made out of some of Ashleys things- My Danny's girlfriend had one made for me and she gave it to me this past Christmas- I have pictures of it, and if you would like to see it, please e-mail me at huntross4@aol.com. I would be more than happy to share the pictures with you. I get great comfort from this, as it has such meaning behind it. Every inch of it tells a story, and I feel his love wrapped around me when I try to go to sleep. Not to mention, having recieved it from the special angel that continues, also, to keep him alive with us here... xoxomamabets

[mamabets]

For Alice24- The Beyond Indigo logo is appearing everywhere lately- I have pictures of it and if you would like to see them, please e-mail me at huntross4@aol.com. BettyAnn has seen it in the clouds, Momof2angels has seen it in the clouds, and between these signs, and many others, I have no doubt that our angels are all safe together...xoxomamabets

[kevsmom]

Me too! I saw it this morning, couldn't believe it....it was the ONLY cloud in the sky....there it was!!!! I was in my car going to work, didn't have my camera and knew going back would take too long, it probably wouldn't still have been there.

Irene

Long Beach, CA

[mamabets]

For All-Remember to e-mail me if you want to see the Beyond Indigo logo picture!! huntross4@aol.com xoxomamabets

[maskott]

Just need to let you know...5 months yesterday, when Jeff and I were away, we got a call from our daughter that there was no hot water. That night, Matthew died. Yesterday morning, we had no heat and Jeff had to push the reset button. It's worked ever since-no problems.

5 months-Matthew, we miss you and love you.

Today was tough. I went into Matthew's room and cried. Jeff and I had to get out of the house so we went for a walk in the state park. Just looked at clouds and walked. It helped.

BettyAnn

[daveydow1]

Enufalready,

I am also going to go to the place where we had our Davey's

headstone made, and ask them to make us another one. We had

bought three plots when Dave passed, and had the one in the

center opened for his burial. The plots on either side are for

my husband and me. We want to get a larger headstone with all

three names put on it--and spare our surviving children of the

burden of having to get stones for us. If the company that sold

us the original stone won't consider this change for us, we will

shop around until we find one that will do the job for us. I think

that it can be done if one is willing to pay the price for having

the job done. I hope that it all goes well for you and your family.

Peace be with you.

[ameliasmom]

Hello. It will be 8 weeks since Amelia died tonight/tomorrow, 4:47 a.m. according to her death certificate. I just got back home from staying with family over the long holidays. When I came back, the mail had piled up and there was Amelia's death certificate, lots of copies of them. The coroner had also left me a message. I am so embarrassed to tell you all this but for a second I thought, why is the coroner calling me, maybe it wasn't Amelia. At that moment, I truly worried about my sanity. I saw Amelia in the casket. I touched her and kissed her and loved on her and said good-bye to her. It was Amelia. How could I have even let something like that slip into my mind. I have also had several dreams where Amelia is alive and I have time to save her. I guess this is true denial.

I am looking at her picture as I am writing to you all. She is beautiful and lived life to it's fullest. She went overboard often. I miss her and it won't stop hurting.

I don't know if we are allowed to discuss taking anti-depressants on this website. If we are allowed to, can anyone tell me your experience with them? Were they helpful or did they just mask your pain until you came off of them?

Thanks, Peggy

[ameliasmom]

Briansdad, Thank you for posting Grief Makes a Promise. I shared it with all of my family members. They all really liked it and commented on it. I thought it was very helpful. Thanks again.

[briansdad]

ameliasmom,

Eightweeks!? The wound is so new.I think I maybe had been back to work not to long by then.I sure didn't get much accomplished in those days.I glad you found that helpful.

I sure made sense to me.

[kathy714]

Hello,i haven't had a chance post the last couple of days,but i have been reading the post.Ihave been going through the post holiday blues,plus the end of the month will be Nathan's birthday and 1 year anniversary,this is dreading up all my old thoughts of what could of happened that night ,how my son in 1 hour could get so messed up that he couldn't even dial his cell phone. My husband found a dear Abby letter ,about peer pressure and a 21 year old was dared to drink 21 shots in a row,now i am wondering if his good friend served him 21shots than let him leave by himself ,on foot in 10 degree weather...Kathy,,Nate's mom

[kathy714]

Dear Mamabets,i would love to see pictures of both ,your quilt,and the BI sign,i enjoyed the other pictures you sent me.I still have all of Nathan's clothes,and i was going to give them to a friend of Nate's that use to live with us,but i just can't let go yet,i was thinking maybe a quilt would be a good idea,i love quilts...Thanks,Kathy,Nate's mom

[kathy714]

Dear Ashleysmom,i can relate so much to your post,i still have all of Nathan's stuff,his room is still the same as the night he left,and for some reason it's his shoes that make me cry,my son was very thin and lankey[i think that's the word]so whenever i see his shoes or socks,i think of his skinny long legs,and i cry.Also i have a grandaughter and it would make a cute room for her,but i just can't change it yet,i did buy sponge Bob sheets and bedspread to put on the bed,because she is crazy about him and i don't think Nate would object to Sponge Bob ,other than that for now the room has to stay the same,i am sure when the time is right i will know it..T/C Kathy,Nate's mom

[kathy714]

Dear Briansdad,thank you for posting the story about grief,i to tried to read it to a coworker,the other night at work,but i can't get past the part where he say's to talk about your loved one,to say his name,and share his memories,i cry every time i get to that part.I think that is one of my biggest fears ,is that people are just going to forget about Nathan,i don't want people to forget how funny he was, and how kind he was,i don't want people to forget his face and his beautiful smile.I think we all fear that,and that is why i love your story about grief..Thanks again,Kathy,Nate's mom

[mamabets]

For Kathy714- Remember, WE will never forget Nate and how sweet he was and still is and we all know, or are starting to believe, that they are all together, just like we are, guiding each other. Danny's shoes make me cry too- I have a video of him and there is a picture that I took of his shoes with powder sprinkled in them- He was such a neat, neat freak and always made sure that he smelled goor, feet included- He loved the cologne Curve and Jackie smelled it everywhere in Target on Christmas Eve, couldn't find the mens cologne isle, kept asking people if they were wearing it, all said no and the manager of the store said that they had been out of it for weeks- That same morning, I saw a whole display of Curve at the grocery store with Dean- I fell apart and went to find a balloon to send off- There was a white one and I just send wishes for all to be together and safe, and most of all- HAPPY!!! xoxomamabets

[mamabets]

For Ameliasmom- I feel your pain- At eight weeks, I had been hopitalized twice, two nervous breakdowns, one attempted suicide. They put me on some strong medicines, but they worked. You might want to look into the Behavioral Health Center- All states have them. They were tremendous- Still are- I have been a patient for years- Very fragile going into this nightmare- Found out long ago that Danny's father knew that he was taking steroids and even bought needles for him- The pain goes on and on... Medicines? By all means, at least for me. I have no choice, so I am told. And, I listen- My meds and my dogs and my families- Beyond Indigo and beyond...xo You are doing great at 8 weeks- I thought that he was still here, my Danny, and that this was all a bad joke...xoxoxomamabets

[ashleysmom]

Ameliasmom, I also feel your pain. Eight weeks is so soon, I couldn't put two thoughts together back then. I keep a basket that holds the cards from the funeral home in my room. It is the first thing I see when I wake up in the morning. It is a reminder that this is real. I am so afraid that I could pretend it never happened and really lose my mind. It has been eighteen mos. for me and still I keep the basket there. As for antidepressants, I think that is very personal. I tried taking one at nine months. I really didn't want to be on a medication full time, so I was against what the doctor prescribed from the beginning. I was facing Ashley's birthday, Mother's day' graduation and then her first angel date. This particular medication just blunted me. I was a zombie and I knew there would be no healing in that state. There are other medications out there that I hear are fantastic so I would certainly talk to your doctor. A friend of mine who lost her daughter started taking one and swears by it. She said it is the only way she could function. Good luck to you...Dottie

[julsmom]

Ameliasmom - like others I too ended up in the hospital about 6 weeks after Julie died (anxiety attack). You have to do what you need to do to get through. To me meds would have only masked the pain and I would have had to face it eventually, so I opted not to do it. BUT you need to do what is best for you.

TO ALL - I try to be upbeat on this site because I do know healing has taken place and there are better days. BUT, (a big BUT) I miss the old days, the before days. I miss Julie so much. I miss our son who lives 10 hrs away. I miss the old me, my old husband, my old ways. I try to adapt to the new ways but sometimes it just toooo overwhelming to deal with. Just a bad day I guess. Thanks for listening. Peace, Lynda

[Artina]

Lynda,

I agree with you. I miss my old life too and it's hard to stay up beat all the time, but I think we are doing a fine job of functioning considering what we have been through... and it's okay to seek support. I pray that your days get better.

Peace to you, Tina

[mamabets]

For Ashleysmom- I always find one or more little miracles that shine through in my readings here- Tonight it is with you- I, too, have a basket in my room and it is very often, the first thinh that I see in the morning. I go through it often, and it is so surreal... Seems as if I have two lives that I am living- One with Danny in it, and one with Danny in it still ... Even though he has gone to a new dimension, he is just as much alive. I get peace from both and share him with every chance I get, just like we all do here. xoxomamabets

[mamabets]

For Artina- I agree with you, I think that we are all doing a great job- The willingness to always be there for each other is something that we have all inherited from these wonderful kids of ours- When it gets impossible, I come to Beyond Indigo and know that someone will be here for me, in spite of their own pain. I have missed you, and it is good to see you here again- I was worried about you!! I reached out to our boys on the 4th, for I was told that Danny had come through to Care4U. I knew, then, that they were having a ball together. These kids, boys and girls alike, are all a part of this team, soccer, water sports, you name it-!! Danny said that it was hard ,working so hard at playing!! I just know that they are alive, safe and well in their own land of make believe come true!! xoxomamabets

[briansdad]

I thought I'd update all of you.We had to put our dog Taz to sleep before Christmas.Taz was Brian's favorite dog.I guess Brian felt bad for us.My neice works at a Vet and a lady brought in a dog that looks just like Taz did at 6 months old.She was lost on the highway.I can only see it as a gift from my son because I loved that dog.We decided to name her Angel because i think that's where she came from.I know this sounds corny but as I said in an earlier post.I'm looking hard for any glimmer of happiness and I think this is one.

I care for all of you. Let's make it another day and show them all we won't quit on life.

[kathy714]

Dear Briansdad,i think that is awesome,it is defenitly a gift from above,and i don,t think it sounds corny at all,you are so right,these are all signs our loved ones are with us,they work hard everyday to show us they are still with us and love us very much,good luck with your new puppy...T/C Kathy,Nate's mom

[kathy714]

Dear Mamabets,thank you for sending me the pictures,i love the quilt,i really think i am going to attempt making one out of some of Nathans clothes,God,just his pants alone would probally make a nice quilt.I can alsoo relate to what you were saying about the cologne,Nate use to wear Polo,and i use to tell him,my bathroom smelled like Macey's after he took a shower,every christmas i would buy him the bath gift set,so now i die whenever i smell it somewhere.ALSO..I too believe our kids are all together watching over us,it only seems right,that they would all be good friends,because we have all become good friends....T/C Kathy,Nate's mom

[kathy714]

Dear Tina,and Lynda,i agree i miss my old life,i just have a hard time with the fact that a year ago today my house was full of kids,and puppies.I would always come home and find Nathan here with at least 3 of his friend,and last year at this time my dog had just given birth to 8 puppies,this place was crazy,that goes to show you,you never know what can happen in your life. Now my life is so different,i just can't believe the difference a year made.I never thought i would say this but I miss all the crazieness,and the one thing i can't get use to is the quiet..T/C Kathy,Nate's mom

[maskott]

Briansdad...congratulations on the new addition. I haven't felt much like posting lately. It seems just getting through the day is hard enough but I wanted to let you know that I am happy that something nice has happened to you. May angel bring you peace and comfort.

BettyAnn

[griffinsmom]

I've been reading back in the discussions to find many questions on ashes. Griffins ashes are in his room- which is still the same except for my clothes in his closet with his and Giannas-but I had to remove some ashes for a necklace I had made, and removed a bag ful- . I carry this bag with me in the diaper bag (talk about morbid)- but I like to have them with me to sprinkle - like at the zoo, Griffin loves otters and always wanted a sloth- so I sprinkled there (illegal, Im sure)- I was able to pass the bag around when his friends came for a candle lighting around his tree (Jan 1)-one year mark- I dont plan to sprinkle them in one place, but in several places that were his favorites...As far as clothes. toothbrush, razor- still have most everything....gave some to friends, but I have everything in his room, I try to change his room, but just can't do it yet. God, I miss my kid so much- like all of us. I'd love to have my "old life" back, too- how does this happen? It is so hard to live this way. Enjoy the puppy....

[maureensmom]

Griffinsmom, I identify completely with what you said. My life before Maureen's death was so wonderful, so peaceful. I dimly realized that while I was living it, but now that I've lost it, probably forever, it looks even more precious. I still can't believe Maureen is dead. We've got her ashes in a cabinet in the kitchen, but everytime I walk in there, I just sneak a peek upwards. I see the gleam of that bronze, and I think - "Oh, my God, I cannot live through this pain." Maybe not the best place? I don't have a good place, isn't that crazy? Putting the ashes in a closet seems like I'm hiding her and everything, it just doesn't feel right. I'm a mess today.

[alice24]

Artina, Just wanted to let you know my son, Hiram John is a two time state champion wrestler in Louisiana. He was ranked 4th in the nation with USA wrestling. We went in Fargo, ND to watch him wrestle. He wrestled for Brother Martin High School in New Orleans. It is an exciting sport but very nerve racking for the Mom. Just thought I would share.

Alice

[alice24]

Maureen, I feel the same as you today. I just look at pictures of my sweet baby boy and cannot image living the rest of my life without him. Like everyone, I just can't believe this has happened nor do I want to accept this hell. Some days it does not seem real and he is still home. If you dwell on the reality of the situation it will get the best of you. I try talking to him and am always looking for signs from him. I love finding a penny just after talking to him.

Peace to All.

[aprilsmom]

Hi mamabets, okay I have to confess - April led the league in scoring as a high school soccer player. She also had a brand new wake board just waiting to be used on their next boating trip.

oooooohhhh let's talk about ashes, you'll probably all get a much needed laugh. I pulled them out of the bag they were delivered in and knocked them over on the dining room table. I swept them into my hands and went outside and clapped my hands over all of my plants and I smiled.(You are hereby sworn to secrecy!) On another occasion I rocked them in my arms thinking how they probably weigh about the same as when she was born and cried really hard. Months later I transferred them with my hands into a beautiful urn that I found online at ClassicMemorials.com. Not once has my son-in-law inquired as to where his wife's ashes are. There are times when I honestly think that I could poor them at his feet and say, "Go ahead and kick her some more". Bobby is a great looking guy and the girls are flocking around him. I do not want him to be alone. However, the one he is seeing is the one that happened to be after him BEFORE April passed away. Why couldn't it have been ANYONE BUT that particular girl? I feel like I'm losing my son as well. The urn is on a book shelf in my bedroom behind some family pictures - it is beautiful and I HATE it! These ashes ARE NOT NOT NOT OUR KIDS folks, they are the remains of a body that they no longer need! Believe me, I ran my hands through these ashes and there were things in it that were not part of my daughter's body; during the process they sweep whatever metal/hinges right into the bag too, pretty discusting. I have dropped a few ashes at her favorite places (yes it's illegal, so sue me). Take Care all. Renee

PS Dogs are the best, we rescued one in October and he has been better than any therapist on the planet.

[maureensmom]

Thanks to everyone who has shared about the ashes. I don\'t feel quite as crazy as I did before. I too keep reminding myself that Maureen has stopped using her earthly body, it\'s of no use to her so why am I so sad about the bits that are left. I asked my husband about a better location than in the kitchen, only to discover that he uses the location to talk to her informally in the mornings, and feels somewhat comforted. The advantage of the kitchen is that she still feels like an integral member of the family, also. I don\'t know. The whole idea that I have to make decisions like this just nauseates me. Of all the things I have ever imagined for myself as a mother, this is still just inconceivable.

[daveydow1]

Ameliasmom,

Eight wks. is so soon after your daughter's passing. I am so

sorry for your loss. I also felt that I may be losing my mind

at that stage after my son, Davey's, death (6/14/2003). I actually

plotted in my mind to just keep pretending that he was not dead,

but was just in another state. I told myself that if I just acted

as if nothing had ever happened to him, that it would just

go away and wouldn't be true. I believe it is our way of taking

this terrible circumstance into our brain a bit at a time. I have

accepted that he is not with us anymore, but the pain is still

there, of course. I will pray that you can find your way, one day

at a time, on this journey we are all on. Peace be with you.

[daveydow1]

Briansdad,

I am so glad that you found a nice puppy who needed a home, after

having to take the sad step of having Taz put to sleep. I think

that she is definitely a gift from your son, Brian. My son, Davey,

also loved pets, especially dogs. His pet puppy that he adopted

when he was 19 died soon after he got him. He also had tropical

fish and dozens of other aquatic-type pets at different times--

(but no snakes!!). Turtles, fish & lizards--he loved. I'm sure Angel will brighten your days and give you a lot comfort. Pets are amazing!

Peace be with you.

[mamabets]

Welcome, Angel!!! You are the Maskott puppy for now, OK?? You can be the one who can remind us that there is hope for all of us,. How special you are to remind us that we are so lucky to have each other- Who wants to laugh now?? All new carpeting going in to mamabets' family room and masterbedroom on Thursday... Why?? Because doggies do not want me to even check the mail- They will wee, want my undivided attention- Oh well, what does one do?? They are spoiled rotten and they love me so much- I believe that they want to take care of me so much because they miss Danny too and they know how sad I am!! All 4 of them.. 16 little feet!! Daschunds- Have one, you need 4!!! xoxomamabets

[mamabets]

For Griffinsmom- I just wrote to my sister about you!!! I told her that I don't see you much here anymore!! I am so glad that you are back- You see, my sister used to live in Jensen Beach, another in Stuart- Seawells Point, actually and a niece is in Stuart- I read Griffins website awhile back- I could not believe it!!! I JUST e-mailed my sister about you, and then came to check out my family here at Beyond Indigo, and here you are tonight!! As for the ashes, I think that it is great that everyone has them and has stories to tell- Even funny ones!! My Dad is hanging out at my brothers house in Palm Beach Gardens- They were invited to take him by plane to sprinkle across a golf course and to be honest, I don't think that they want to part with him yet!! xo And, I have an aunt that passed and they split her ashes right down the middle- One cousin got a half, the other? The other half- To be close to the ashes of a loved one is a beautiful thing.. I have no doubt that you can feel closer by having them there and I feel that you are closer, just by hearing your stories... I am so happy that I found you here again tonight,xoxomamabets

[Artina]

For Artina- I agree with you, I think that we are all doing a great job- The willingness to always be there for each other is something that we have all inherited from these wonderful kids of ours- When it gets impossible, I come to Beyond Indigo and know that someone will be here for me, in spite of their own pain. I have missed you, and it is good to see you here again- I was worried about you!! I reached out to our boys on the 4th, for I was told that Danny had come through to Care4U. I knew, then, that they were having a ball together. These kids, boys and girls alike, are all a part of this team, soccer, water sports, you name it-!! Danny said that it was hard ,working so hard at playing!! I just know that they are alive, safe and well in their own land of make believe come true!! xoxomamabets

I have been reading... I come here most everyday, but I don't always post. I agree with you... I'm sure our children are playing- we'll I can say that my son is.

Peace to you, Tina

[Artina]

I thought I'd update all of you.We had to put our dog Taz to sleep before Christmas.Taz was Brian's favorite dog.I guess Brian felt bad for us.My neice works at a Vet and a lady brought in a dog that looks just like Taz did at 6 months old.She was lost on the highway.I can only see it as a gift from my son because I loved that dog.We decided to name her Angel because i think that's where she came from.I know this sounds corny but as I said in an earlier post.I'm looking hard for any glimmer of happiness and I think this is one.

I care for all of you. Let's make it another day and show them all we won't quit on life.

Briansdad,

Not corney at all- I would feel like it was a gift from my son, because my dog means a whole lot to my grieving process and I am sure he knows it- as I am sure your son knows how important Taz was to you.

Peace to you, Tina

[mamabets]

For Maureensmom- God Bless You- I am with you tonight, I feel your agony- And, you know what? I am proud to know people like you who, in spite of this, reach out- It took me awhile, and I am really going to try to turn to all of you when I get like this- I tend to shut down and wait for it to pass some- I am finding that so many of you always reach out, no matter what- I turn inwards when it gets so bad... I just shut down completely, although I must say- Through all of you it is getting better- And, the guys here really help me to. I do feel sorry for the men that just don't know how to grieve.. To hear that your hubby talks to Maureen in the morning... Ouch- I have always been one to spoil the men in my life- take their pain on as my own- A sucker for them, if you will- Give your hub a big hug from me tonight and maybe someday soon we will see him here with us...xoxomamabets Keep Coming Back!!

[mamabets]

For Aprilsmom- I knew that the star soccer player would show up, it was only a matter of time, as we now know it to be... Didn't you and April visit the Tampa area?? I could be wrong, could have been someone else, but for some reason you and April visiting Tampa seems to pop into my head...My Danny lived in Tampa!! xo Let me know!! xoxomamabets

[Artina]

Dear Tina,and Lynda,i agree i miss my old life,i just have a hard time with the fact that a year ago today my house was full of kids,and puppies.I would always come home and find Nathan here with at least 3 of his friend,and last year at this time my dog had just given birth to 8 puppies,this place was crazy,that goes to show you,you never know what can happen in your life. Now my life is so different,i just can't believe the difference a year made.I never thought i would say this but I miss all the crazieness,and the one thing i can't get use to is the quiet..T/C Kathy,Nate's mom

Kathy714,

Me either... I would welcome the noise- hands down. I think we will all agree that life can switch in a second.

Peace to you, Tina

[mamabets]

For Alice24- You must visit with Griffinsmom- He went to Martin County High in Stuart- My family is from there too!! LOTS of connections going on here- While Brother Martin and Martin County may be different here, they are all Brothers in Heaven!! See, it does work and it does appear when we least expect it- There has been alot of activity here today, and our kids are leading the way!! xoxomamabets And, when in doubt, get a dog!! xo

[mamabets]

For Artina- The silence- My phone would ring all day and Danny was ALWAYS calling his Mama... Jackie and Julia moved.... It all hurts way too much, I find that this computer is my outlet... My voice for them!! My niece will be bringing us new life when her baby girl comes in early March...I can hardly wait! I love you!! xoxomamabets

[Artina]

Artina, Just wanted to let you know my son, Hiram John is a two time state champion wrestler in Louisiana. He was ranked 4th in the nation with USA wrestling. We went in Fargo, ND to watch him wrestle. He wrestled for Brother Martin High School in New Orleans. It is an exciting sport but very nerve racking for the Mom. Just thought I would share.

Alice

Alice,

WOW! Your son sounds like he was a tuff kid. Did your son freestyle, collegiate and greco wrestle? A two time state champion is quite an accomplishment that not very many wrestlers achieve and then you add fourth in the nation- Wow.

My son took 4th in Washington State his Junior year and was undeafeated in district and regionals and we are very proud of him. He went to Fargo his Sophmore year and wreslted on the Washington State Freestyle and Greco Cadet Team... he did good and had a great time. He loved wrestling and so did we. He had his ACL repaired after his Junior year (football) and didn't make it to state that year. God... we have so many memories wrapped around weekends filled with wreslting tournaments- which I am sure you do too.

There is nothing like a wreslting family and especially a wreslting mother. Crazy sport? Yes. My 16 year old is wreslting right now. He had his ACL repaired last year (football) and missed his Sophmore year. He has had a hard time coming back, but he is doing pretty good. He is having a good time with his friends and we are enjoying watching him. Lots of memories.

Thank you for sharing...

Peace to you, Tina

[Artina]

For Artina- The silence- My phone would ring all day and Danny was ALWAYS calling his Mama... Jackie and Julia moved.... It all hurts way too much, I find that this computer is my outlet... My voice for them!! My niece will be bringing us new life when her baby girl comes in early March...I can hardly wait! I love you!! xoxomamabets

Mamabets,

My son called me quite a bit too... just to see what was up while he was at work. He had just graduated from high school and was enrolled in a junior college, thus he still lived at home. I had a hard time in the first year of grief, because I kept expecting him to walk in for lunch or after school. Those were some hard hurdles to get past... the waiting.

Peace to you, Tina

[mamabets]

For Artina- There is no doubt that our kids are playing where they are, agreed?? Danny came through and told Care4u jokingly, on the 4th, Tina, that he was having a hard time working at playing!! He was off to play soccer, also playing basketball and Jeff and BettyAnn were told that Matt was into watersports- It is all coming out now- Some dear friends of mine lost a son in March- His name was Tim, they called him Timbo- He was HUGE into surfing and hockey- Granted, all could be into something, but when it hits so close to this, and they all somehow excelled in these sports, it is not by coincidence- As I have said before, there is no coincidence when it comes to losing a child.. I am waiting for golf to surface soon- My father was a HUGE golfer, loved the sport and would have sold his soul to teach Danny... I have no doubt that they are doing it together there, in their spare time!! xoxomamabets-See, that phone ringing with the message light on in your hotel room was DEFINATELY a sign-!!Don't you think?

[mamabets]

For Kathy- How is hubby???xoxomamabets

[mamabets]

For Daveydow1- No snakes for sure!! My brothers had snakes and iguanas when we were growing up, can you even imagine?? My sister and my Jackie had beta fish!! My little grandaughter had goldfish and named them Mary and Joseph- Is that too cute?? They died- And, Jackie, her Mommy, my daughter freaked out- Julia said to her "Mom, don't be too sad- Everyone dies and now they are with Uncle"- Out of the mouths of babes... She has connected with Danny from day one, I could write a book...xoxomamabets- But, you are right- NO SNAKES!!!

[Artina]

For Artina- There is no doubt that our kids are playing where they are, agreed?? Danny came through and told Care4u jokingly, on the 4th, Tina, that he was having a hard time working at playing!! He was off to play soccer, also playing basketball and Jeff and BettyAnn were told that Matt was into watersports- It is all coming out now- Some dear friends of mine lost a son in March- His name was Tim, they called him Timbo- He was HUGE into surfing and hockey- Granted, all could be into something, but when it hits so close to this, and they all somehow excelled in these sports, it is not by coincidence- As I have said before, there is no coincidence when it comes to losing a child.. I am waiting for golf to surface soon- My father was a HUGE golfer, loved the sport and would have sold his soul to teach Danny... I have no doubt that they are doing it together there, in their spare time!! xoxomamabets-See, that phone ringing with the message light on in your hotel room was DEFINATELY a sign-!!Don't you think?

Mamabets,

Without a doubt... I do believe that the light was a "hello" from my son. I am a strong believer in communication with the other side. We have had many, many, hellos from my son over the past for years. I think of communication with the other side, in our lifetime, as how "telephone" communication must have been thought of in the 1200's (not even a possiblity). You know that people in the 1200's would have thought that people were possessed with the DEVIL for thinking that they could talk to someone from sea to sea. Well look at us now- we talk to people across the globe and we can see them on a screen while we talk. We can send information from one place to another... MAYBE we will be able to communicate from the physical realm to the non-physical realm! I think someday we will be able to tap into the energy wave that our children use to communicate with us. Why not.

Peace to you, Tina

[mamabets]

For Artina- I am with you- I have no doubt that with all that happens already with our kids, I have faith that the sky is the limit, no pun intended!!! Sharon Rocha on Larry King- It is 12:20 where I am and her story is heartwrenching... My sister saw it earlier and I am there with pen and pad in case she needs us at Beyond Indigo!! xoxo mamabets