Loss of an Adult Child

[heartbeataway]

Joey ...... Joey ........ Joey ........ Joey ........ love saying your name out loud! 

[align=center]Strength  and love to you Claudia! 

[align=left]Love the pictures!  Krichie (sorry haven't picked up on your name yet) something about your son reminds me of our Jason.  Jason had strawberry blonde hair and kind of the same coloring .....

Handsome young man, beautiful grandchild!  I would give anything to have a grandchild with Jason's quirky smile and hair color.  Just wasn't meant to be ......

On the journey with you,

Bonnie, Jay's Mom

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[Guest]

[user=56324]josephsmom90[/user] wrote:

Susananh,

Oh my gosh, I didn't know this stuff about the grandmother and the person that hurt your grand children! I have missed that, maybe I need to go way back somwhere and check that out.

Ah, good ol Evanston, lol, I lived there 15 yrs. I worked the oil patch there & that is the boyz hometown. Is it windy? lol, So do you have your grandchildren? That is what I think I am reading. I am glad you get some time for YOU. I recall doing that from time to time. Though I have it now, don't much like it, but sooner r later better get used to it with Michael being almost grown.

Elaine

It was pretty calm here yesterday.  You know Wyoming and the wind!  The wind was pretty strong on the way down from Casper, though.  It always blows in Casper!!!!

You're a woman after my own heart, Elaine!  Oil field...bikes....Wyoming.  Only, I love Wyoming! LOL  I haven't been on the back of a bike in a couple of years.  Although I have HD (Harley Davidson) tatoo'd on my lower back, I think my riding days are behind me. 

Do I have my grandchildren with me in Evanston?  No.  They are with Grandpa in Gillette for a company picnic.  Do my grandchildren live with me?  Yes.  Gary and I legally adopted them after Steph died.  We were at the end of the civil trial when Steph died and the beginning of the criminal trial.  I'll tell you what....I know why the grizzly bear attacks when someone gets close to her young.

Susannah/Stephanie's mom

[Guest]

I found this picture for you, Claudia!! 

 

[mysonrich]

Joey, thinking of you today and your mama as she walks along the paths of her life.

 

Betsy,mysonRich

[lostwoher]

 Joey Joseph Scott JoEy

No matter how much you soar around, one thing is certain: you will remain in your family's hearts. Peace Claudia & Michael.

 Lynn & Kayla

[mikesmomrs]

JOEY....JOSEPH...JOEY...JOEY...please surround your mom with your wonderful spirit, fill her heart with joyous memories and sweet moments on this day...

Claudia and Micheal....thinking of you both and praying for comfort to you today...

love and peace,  carol  mikesmomrs

[mikesmomrs]

Hello all my indigo friends:  I was just too tired to post last night, and now I am on the way out to bring Jamie home...a lot happened yesterday...some good, some not so good.  I think I told you of the leak that Ralph "sprung"...they did find out it is lymph fluid...not good, and unfortunately, he has another this morning...so I have to hurry and get Jamie home so I can get back here.   Surprisingly, today he is feeling really well, but just between you all and me, that is scary, as that is how both my mom and dad felt the day before they passed---they had this resurgence of feeling good...I know that is just too scary a thought, but I had to say it out loud in order to not carry it around with me all day...the only way I will get through this day is concentrating on driving, and getting back here as soon as possible...the doctors were in this morning, and they didn't have a lot to say, though were surprised that there was another place of leakage...this time it is through the sutures.  They have him on a special diet that is supposed to help, though I cannot imagine how a diet can help such a problem!  They have checked everything else...his heart is good, etc., so I know that my mind is just in overdrive...if I break down and cry I know that I will not stop...so I must steel myself and do what I have to do today...I thank you all for your prayers and comforts, so very much...I will get back later.

I am so very, very sorry for all the new parents here...your stories are so very sad, but I am glad that you have found someplace to share them, someplace where you will receive understanding and support like you haven't up til now...and it does help to share our stories and share our children...it truly does...such beautiful children, all...sending love and care to all of you.

love and peace,  carol  mikesmomrs

[4everjoeysmom]

Susannah, I LOVE the picture you found! That's exactly what I know to be true.

Thank you everyone for remembering and saying Joey's name! Man I love that kid!!

Oh...I forgot to share the news here....I am going to be a grandma!!!! My son Patrick and his wife Nikki are expecting in February. They publicly shared a few days ago. I am SO excited. The cycle of life continues....

[lolynbo]

JOEY JOEY JOEY.....IM NOT FANCY BUT IM SINCERE...WE ALL WRE THINKING OF YOU TODAY AND YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS THAT MISS YOU.....BE WITH YOUR FAMILY TODAY SPECIALLY MOM, WE NEED THAT EXTRA HUG.....

CONGRATS ON THE NEW LIFE AND NEW GRAND CHILD...WHAT A GIFT...(IM JEALOUS)....

[4everjoeysmom]

Carol, My heart and prayers for you and Ralph... xoxoxo

[krichie]

Joey joey joey. You are in a lot of hearts today. SPread those wings and shine.

[briansdad]

For Joe.

[lolynbo]

I LOVE THIS ONE...NO MATTER HOW OLD THEY ARE SAFE IN HIS ARMS.....MISSIN YOU KOURTNEY LYNN...

[lolynbo]

JUST GOT A LETTER FROM KOURTNEY NEORSURGEON..."DEAR MS CARGAL, IM NO LONGER AT OU IF U NEED FURTHER ASSISTANCE PLZ CONTACT"......HE DONT EVEN REMEMBER SHES GONE....OR IF SHES STILL IN THE COMPUTER TAKE HER OUT.....WHAT A SHITY DAY

[josephsmom90]

Susananh,

Oh I am so WITH you on the grizzly mama thing!! No tats here but rode for 15 yrs. Of all things, places, I got plowed on in Laramie, head on doing 40-50 or so the police report states. I still love to and have ridden, and in fact owned the same bike. I guess I needed to prove to myself that I wasn't scared to ride again. But my right arm/side is weak and a loss of motor skills won't let me ride, safely that is, if there is such a thing as safe riding. I'm glad to hear you are getting out and having some time to yourself. I wished I could enjoy this time to myself. Hard to do though.

Elaine

[user=39355]msnher[/user] wrote:

[user=56324]josephsmom90[/user] wrote:

Susananh,

Oh my gosh, I didn't know this stuff about the grandmother and the person that hurt your grand children! I have missed that, maybe I need to go way back somwhere and check that out.

Ah, good ol Evanston, lol, I lived there 15 yrs. I worked the oil patch there & that is the boyz hometown. Is it windy? lol, So do you have your grandchildren? That is what I think I am reading. I am glad you get some time for YOU. I recall doing that from time to time. Though I have it now, don't much like it, but sooner r later better get used to it with Michael being almost grown.

Elaine

It was pretty calm here yesterday.  You know Wyoming and the wind!  The wind was pretty strong on the way down from Casper, though.  It always blows in Casper!!!!

You're a woman after my own heart, Elaine!  Oil field...bikes....Wyoming.  Only, I love Wyoming! LOL  I haven't been on the back of a bike in a couple of years.  Although I have HD (Harley Davidson) tatoo'd on my lower back, I think my riding days are behind me. 

Do I have my grandchildren with me in Evanston?  No.  They are with Grandpa in Gillette for a company picnic.  Do my grandchildren live with me?  Yes.  Gary and I legally adopted them after Steph died.  We were at the end of the civil trial when Steph died and the beginning of the criminal trial.  I'll tell you what....I know why the grizzly bear attacks when someone gets close to her young.

Susannah/Stephanie's mom

[jefferysmommy]

Joey, Joey, Joey!  Saying your name out loud.

Jenn - Jeffery's Mommy

[jefferysmommy]

Krichie:  Love the pic of Richie and his daughter.

Colleen:  4.5 months, wow, so not fair.

Daniellemom, Rhonda, Sherry, Susannah, Dee and I'm sure I am forgetting someone, Thank you!  I'm glad that I finally got them scanned so that I could share Jeffery with you.

Lorri:  I love your one more day, welcome home, and yes, the letter you got sucks, I'm sorry, peace to you, friend.

Sherry:  We have the same issues here in Ontario, barely any jail time, if any at all for horrific crimes as the jails are full, we watch the news and watch the justice system fail every day.

Susannah:  I'm glad that you got out for a bit and are focusing on you and spending some alone time, enjoy it while you have it! 

Carol:  Drive safe, focus, take in lots of fluids and take a deep breath, thinking of you all the time, big hugs and lots of love coming your way! 

Claudia:  Congratulations!

Susannah and Elaine, my husband rides a Harley, I used to ride with him all the time but haven't been on since I was about 4 and a half months pregnant with Devin and he's 3 now.  So, here in Ontario, all the bikers from all over get together for Port Dover, Friday the 13th, I have never been, every Friday the 13th for the last 7 years, have either been too cold, or we were too busy to go.  This year, I will be going with my husband on the back of the bike and I am very excited, it has been a long time.

Jenn - Jeffery's Mommy

 

[krichie]

Have my littel gran daughter , she is napping now so wanted to just shout out to Joey again. He is in my thaughts and sending hugs to His mom.

Joey ! Joey! Joey- love from us to you.

I can not get my one more day started yet. Since reading all the beautiful ones here it has got me thinking but just not ready.

 

[lolynbo]

WELL FWENDS...SURGERY IS MONDAY AT 6AM....FOR THE NEW TWINS....(HECKEL AND JECKEL) LOL.....I FEEL LIKE BACKING OUT CUZ I SO DONT WANT TO DO IT...BUT IT HAS TO BE DONE...IM JUST DOWN I GUESS...YOUD THINK ID BE EXCEITED...NNNNNNNNNNNNNNOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT...

WELL KODY RACES TONIGHT...HOPE WE DONT GET IN AN ALTERCATION AGAIN...YAL SHOULD HAVE SEEN HIM AND BROOK RACE GO KARTS...HE KEPT GETTING SLOW CARTS AND WAS SOOOOO UNHAPPY  IM GONNA TRY TO POST A PIC OF HIS FACE...

TOLD YOU HE WAS POUTING....BET HE DOES THE SAME IN HIS RACE CAR

[josephsmom90]

Jenn,

I rode mine when I was pregnant with the twins. I don't recall if I did when I was pregnant with Michael or not but ten to one, I did.  The boys always loved to go riding. I bought the twins their first dirt bike when they were 13, and Joseph a brand new one when he graduated high school at 16. Daniel has it now though. That was what I loved to do, that was 'my thing' and I do miss it. But that wreck jacked me up so bad that if I ever went down again, I do not want to live. And I still have Michael to raise. I may buy another one though, maybe a trike and or a harley with a sidecar, might be easier handling for my weak right side. I dunno.

Elaine

[westleysmom]

Lorri-Kody is so funny.  He seems like he would be a hoot to be around.  Good luck with the surgery.  Hope it goes well.

Claudia-Thinking of you and saying Joey's name aloud.

Susannah-Hope you are getting rested and refreshed.

Busy day today.  One of Westley's friends is bringing his 3 month old baby girl over to see us.  Part of her name is after Westley, the Dee in his middle name.  I've only seen her once when she was first born.  My granddaughter came over this morning to swing, but its so hot, we couldn't do it long.  We got a little rain the last few days, but not much.  Hope all of you are staying cool and getting rain, but not too much.

Carol-Thinking of you and Ralph today, hope things are going well.

Rhonda Westley's Mom  

[mikesmum]

[user=22932]lolynbo[/user] wrote:

JUST GOT A LETTER FROM KOURTNEY NEORSURGEON..."DEAR MS CARGAL, IM NO LONGER AT OU IF U NEED FURTHER ASSISTANCE PLZ CONTACT"......HE DONT EVEN REMEMBER SHES GONE....OR IF SHES STILL IN THE COMPUTER TAKE HER OUT.....WHAT A SHITY DAY

A polite note to his office with Kourtneys current 'address' and a thank you but she won't be needing your service further....might just sit him or his office staff on their butts.... If nothing else they might go through and update their data base so someone else won't get one of these.

Short story along the same lines.....My dad passed away in the recovery unit after heart surgery.  The day of his funeral the accounts department from the hospital rang asking for him to settle his account as he seemed to have forgotten the day he left.

I asked her to check the 'discharge' code on his history.  She came back with it says D for discharged....I politely and calmly told her the D was for deceased and she might want to send his accounts to Vetran Affairs as they were paying his accounts.

I hung up, turned and stepped into the mourning coach, headed off to dad's last tribute.....

Some people don't mean to be inconsiderate or ignorant it just part of their job...

[4everjoeysmom]

Greg, Thanks for that wonderful photo and poem! EVERYONE, Thank you so much for remembering Joey today. It means so much...as you all know. Hearing and seeing his name brings me joy!

Love & Blessings to you all!! ~Claudia

[daveydow1]

Claudia---Thinking of you  today, and saying JOEY'S name. (Good news that you will

 be a grandma in February). Peace & comfort to you, friend.     JOEY----JOEY----

JOEY.  AN ANGEL IN HEAVEN.

Susannah----So nice to see the pic you posted for JOEY and Claudia. My husband

has carried a wallet size one of this very same picture in his pocket for 7 yrs. now.

It's all frayed at the edges etc. but he still carries it. I had carried it in my purse,

and he saw it and asked if he could have it, so I gave it to him. I bought another

one for my purse. Also, at a Christian book store, I bought a 5x7 framed one which

hangs on the living room wall. It is a comforting picture. Thanks for posting it.

Betsy----What a beautiful pic of a twilight sky you posted for Joey & Claudia. Such

lovely colors.

Jenn---Yes, it is maddening when the justice system is so easy on people, through

their negligence, who bring such lifetime of sorrow on others. A young man was

skatboarding on the sidewalk in a nearby town where there was an ordinance

against it. When caught.....and brought to court, he faced a first-degree

 misdemeanor with fine of $1,000, and short jail time....the same penalty the law

 gave the truckdriver that killed my son.

Carol----Thoughts & prayers for Ralph, you, and your family. 

Well, I'm tired now, so am signing off. Good night INDIGOES. Peace to ALL.

                  Davey&Lisasmom,   Sherry  

 

 

[summergirl]

JOEY, JOEY, JOEY - I SAY YOUR NAME OUT LOUD FOR ALL TO HEAR....SHINE ON YOUR FAMILY TODAY, FLY HIGH, WE SHALL SEE YOU AMONG THE STARS..

 

Carol , I am thinking of you every minute praying that Ralph is ok....I understand the getting it out so you don't have to carry it with you - we are all here my friend and prayers are being said and sent....please take care of yourself...sure wish we could all be with you right now holding your hand but we are there with you....

Lorri - so sorry for the "note from the doctor" - I like Greg's response and hope you take it.   We got a letter in the mail from the hospital about a month after addressed to Jessica - wanted her to fill out a "how was your stay" survey !! I lost it - called them and no reason to tell you what I said - never meant to hurt anyone - as Greg said they are just doing their job.

I am sorry that I have not responded to all posts....seem to be in the reading mood and not able to find words to write....I do hear everyone, feel your pain and joys...

I still cannot write my "one more day", I keep thinking about what Tavian would do if he could have one more day with his mommy - want to ask him but do not know if it will upset him or make him happy to talk about it - I have to think about it....

Hanging with Tavian so I will say good nite - my love, heart and prayers to all, Kathy

 

 

[ericasmom]

Hey All, busy day here, went to the gym with Jon's Girl, Shannon, and then my niece from Florida, Karianne and her daughter Alex Katherine, came in and with them were my sis Eileen, niece Kate, with her two, Nayeli Erica and Xavier, and then Michael, my nephew with his girl, Buddy and their baby boy, Maxx Jackson. HOuseful, so Jonathan came over to hang with his beloved cousins but we were all going to the zoo, and normally he and Shan would come, but they had a big wedding to attend. So we spent the later part of the day at the zoo and then went out to eat near home, 8 adults and 4 kids. We were a loud group, but went to a loud family type neighborhood place. Fun day.

Last night husband JOhn and I went to the movies to see INCEPTION and out to dinner. We have not gone out to eat in a long while, economy and all, but now two nights in a row. It was nice. I am pooped.

Carol, I so hope that the docs can figure out why Ralph is leaking this fluid. I know what you mean about letting the worry out into the world, letting those around you assist in carrying it. The weight of worry so huge. Give yourself a hug from me and John the garden gnome. Special prayers to surround you and Ralph.

Lor, I would be thrown by that letter as well, though it does seem to be a computer glitch, all patients were sent a letter and they have not cleaned out or updated their files. I would let them know just how that kind of letter can throw a family and ask them to think about that. That really should give them a kick in the butt about updating files.

 

I will catch up tomorrow, but until then, sleep beautifully and peacefully if possible. Let your dreams be easy adn your mind smooth tonight.

My love,

dee

PS Claudia your wonderful news makes my heart work with a happy beat.

[mikesmomrs]

Thank you all for your support....long day today, taking Jamie back to his mom (Cathi)...Cathi is doing very well, though still pretty sore.  She took pain meds last night and didn't wake up til 1:30 today (Saturday)...20 hours after she had last put the dog out...oh oh!!!  Her dog, I swear, has a bladder the size of a soccer ball, but on this day, she just couldn't hold it.  Being alone in the house, Cathi of course, had to clean up the mess...the solid and the liquid!!!  So, after that, she found out that you just don't do "too much" just a few days after back surgery!   Jamie was glad to see her again and she him...

Things are pretty much the same with Ralph, though I am reassured by the actual doctors and not just the residents showing up twice today to check on him...the "leaking" has slowed for now, but they are talking dialysis again...his levels are up and down, nothing consistent. 

A cute story from our journey today to take Jamie home from here:

 we were driving to Jamie's (who is 11)house today, which is down a really "country" back road, and Rachel (Kim's youngest), (9 yo) who lives in a city of 400,000 and whose dream is to one day live in the country on a big farm, was talking to Jamie in the back seat about how beautiful the country is and how lucky he is to live in such a "country" place. (He actually lives about 5 miles from a small city, but I guess when you live in a city of the size she lives in, where he lives IS "country.") Refusing to be dubbed a "hick," Jamie finally said "Look Rachel, I live in the city, too...it's NOT country." Then they had stopped talking about it for a minute and she noticed that I had to suddenly slow down, and she looked up to see why. I had slowed down and pulled over a bit because coming towards us were two very WELL (over)loaded pick up trucks, loaded down with bales of hay piled high and sticking out on all sides...actually seeming to be "tottering" as they passed us by.   In the rear view mirror I could see Rachel's eyes groiw wide as they passed us, and then she turned to Jamie and said "Look Jamie, you DO live in the country...they even have to drive their hay!" Proof certain for her that this was indeed country! She is such a delight to have around...you see things in a whole new perspective!

I did love reading all the "One More Day" pieces...filled with longing, but also so much love!   sending love and peace to all of you...Dee, so glad you had two nice "eating out" days and such fun with your family...have any of your flowers survived?   Lorri:  good luck with "the twins."  So sorry about the letter...when we get an ad addressed to Mike, I just cringe.   Claudia:  Congratulations...such love and such a wonderful gift!  Does this mean that Patrick and you are back in sync?  I so hope so!!!  Jenn:  I think I forgot to tell you how cute Jeffrey is, and I love the pics you posted.  Krichie:  Love the pic of your beautiful son and his daughter...thanks for sharing.  What part of the country are you in?  I noticed the Patriots shirt...Susannah:  I love that you are getting a day away just for you...you certainly deserve it!  Sherry:  is your garden doing okay?  Dan and Greg and Betsy:  I love the pics you did/shared for Joey...just beautiful...I have the one of the Lord welcoming the young man...I cried the first time I saw it as I imagined Mike being welcomed like that...Elaine:  You're already a week closer to Michael's coming back home...Trudi:  What a terrible way to have to begin your dad's day of tribute!   Kathy:  So sorry about the new "Grandma" issues...I can't imagine someone feeling it necessary nor okay to ask a child "Are you stupid?"  I am glad that Tavian felt able to talk to you about it all.   Sonya:  good luck with finding the new car for James...Colleen...are you having to find one for Michelle?  Marcia, Betty, Bonnie, Maryann, Beth, and any my tired brain may have forgotten, but my heart holds you close...thinking of all of you...

thank you again to all those who are posting/checking in on Ralph's site...and to all of you, for all the support and caring you've shown to us over this trying, nerve-wracking time...

Mike's middle boy became a teenager at 7:30 Saturday night...he had a friend of his family drive him up here to see his "papa" today...100 miles each way...he's such a good kid...I know that Mike was there, celebrating his birthday with him...I remember Mike's one and only time of breaking down and crying when he heard he was dying..."I won't get to see my boys become teenagers..."  You are Mike, you are, from the most wonderful of vantage points...guide Kameron, my son, guide him and be with him as he enters this new phase of his young life...

love and peace,  Carol  mikesmomrs

[josephsmom90]

Carol,

You and your husband are both in my prayers. Everyday, twice a day. As is everyone in here. Yes your right, Michael comes home the 22 of August. I didn't get a text from him at all today I know it is just because of so much 'fun' activity going on with aunts, uncles, cousins, and I need to just let him enjoy it. It almost kills ya when they do that though. I mean after something like what's happened. But he is a kid, though very mature in many ways, not so mature in just as many.

Your country story brought a smile to my face. I recall how country Joseph was, all the boys were. I moved them from Wy to so Ca (with all the metal parts in me, I don't bear cold well anymore), horses and all. We raised all our own meat and did the whole thing. Joseph was the biggest ranch fan though. When he was little he used to want to be Amish. His dad is from the Midwest so he knew of them from visits and education. It made me smile when I recalled his innocence. I miss him so.

Elaine

[josephsmom90]

Dee,

Its good to see you had some fun and some time with your husband... Ya know, all the support you guys have is awesome. I mean the family, spouse etc. Kinda makes me feel like a whiney butt! The photo is of me and Joseph when he was around 18 months old.

Elaine

[josephsmom90]

Kathy,

I've not responded to several posts either. Though I think I've read them all. I just dunno, not very talkative I guess. Wow what a switch for me! Just wanted to say your in my prayers. Peace.

Elaine

[josephsmom90]

Sherry,

Praying for you. Peace.

Elaine

[josephsmom90]

Claudia, Susannah, Rhonda,

Praying for all you ladies and your families. My prayer is that God will give you strength, comfort, and the peace that passes all understanding.

Elaine

[Guest]

Sorry..double posted.  As if I don't talk enough already, I thought I'd give you a double dose!   

 

[Guest]

Carol - I love the hay story!  Kids say the darndest things....they truly are the spice of life.  Oh Carol, I'm so sorry for the struggles with Ralph's health.  It has to be draining for both of you!  (no pun intended) This life can be so hard.  I'm impressed with your ability to not only see, but find, the silver lining (your grandkids) in every day situations.  God bless your whole family!!

Elaine - Love the new avatar...although my eyes aren't adjusted, so I can't see it on my laptop that well.  When I get home, I'll bring it up on the desk computer.  You are sweet to respond to everyone.  I've found jumping in the middle of BI to be so helpful.  Is that your finding as well?

Lorri - "Dear Neuorsurgeon....I received the letter from your office informing us of your move to a new location.  We appreciate your offer of services, however,  they are no longer required.  As you  may or may not remember, Kourtney has also moved to a new location and is now cancer free!  The Great Physician, Himself, is now her neurologist.  While there isn't a day (or minute) go by that I don't miss my daughter, I am quite confident in her new doctor's care."

Cute picture of Kody, by the way...

Sherry - How cool that you and your husband both love that picture!  I don't remember reading how Davey died before.  It is quite heartbreaking!  The only death being YOUR son.  Deep sigh! 

Betty - It was good to see your Stephen's face yesterday when I logged on!  You have such a good, strong heart, my friend!  I knew that about you from your first "hello".

Betsy - How's the move coming?  I love the picture you posted for Joey.  Just love it!

Dee - I love hearing the stories of your family and friends.  You are truly a loved woman!

I began to get homesick at about 6pm last night!  I think that's a good sign.  I would have worried had I not missed my grandchildren!  LOL  They miss me, too!  Our first time apart has been good for all of us.  I feel a little more appreciated, rested and rejuvinated!  I'll head home sometime this morning, maybe closer to noon.  We leave for Iowa on Wednesday.  I have a lot to do before then....

You guys are the best!  I am so grateful I found you.  I believe in angels.  You know I do....I believe the spiritual realm is more real than this physical/earthly realm.  However, THIS is where I live..right now..and you are all a part of it .  You are the angels I can reach out to and actually get a response from.  God speaks to me through you!  Thank you!

Much love,

Susannah/Stephanie's mom  I'm not checking my spelling....

[ericasmom]

Good morning Indies,

a pretty one, still and overcast adn filed with sound:a constnat cricket rattle, cicadas/locusts sound in and become very loud and then quieter and on like that all day, and birds galore. So many bird sounds. When the crickets begin in the morning and sound all day, I know it is August. It is funny, but somehow it is both beautiful and melancholoy. I will start teaching again in 23 days, and while I love LOVE my job, I also love LOVE summer break for all th elack of schedule it offers. So, I will dearly miss this and to use a phrase Elaine used, I become a whinny-butt as I see the end of these lack -of-schedule-wandering-days. I know how much energy I need to teach the way I need to teach, and sometimes it is overwhelming to think of what I need to be ready to put forth. HOwever, I have already begun to dream of my new class and I am at this same time, excited.

Yesterday while drivng back to this neighborhood from the zoo, Nayeli asked, "hey is that the cemetery that ERica is at?" No I said, she is at a different one I will take you one day. Alex said, "Erica is our cousin right?" Nayeli said, "Yes, she loves us but she didn't even meet us."

I am glad that they know this. All of the little cousins have a photo of Eri in thier homes, and know.

LOve the hay story. I love that you looked in the rear view mirror Carol, and saw your Grandgirl's eyes. So sweet. How are you driving folks back adn forth and doing the hospital...you are the master at juggling. I continue to hold you guys in a stream of prayer.

Garden survived more than we thought Carol. We lost three perennial salvia, which is odd since they have survived so much, but I guess they could not do one more flooding. WE lost a few other perennials, but I do believe most of what we have remains alive and well. The giant hibiscus, (dinner plate sized blooms) bloomed even while its stalks were in deep water. Lovely. The canna are blooming now and they were in deep water so I think that we are lucky.

Susannah, I like the letter you wrote for Lor to consider. Enjoy your quiet time.

Elaine, you are not a whiny-butt, you are a woman finding ways in which to live anew. We all have to sigh and complain and wonder and worry aloud, because to not do that means we are only half living, being here to me means I can live stronger.

[lolynbo]

Lorri - "Dear Neuorsurgeon....I received the letter from your office informing us of your move to a new location.  We appreciate your offer of services, however,  they are no longer required.  As you  may or may not remember, Kourtney has also moved to a new location and is now cancer free!  The Great Physician, Himself, is now her neurologist.  While there isn't a day (or minute) go by that I don't miss my daughter, I am quite confident in her new doctor's care."

(OOPS DIDNT MEAN TO "" THIS)

ANOTHER FRIEND REMINDED ME THAT, I WAS MISSING HER YESTERDAY..AND THE LETTER CAME....AND SHE IS CURED BY OUR MIGHTY PHYSICIAN.....THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING THIS WITH ME, SHE IS CURED SHE NO LONGER NEEDS A NEOSURGEON...

BABY BOY GOT 5TH...GOT JIPPED IN HIS LINE UP...OH WELL 5TH OUTTA 15 ISNT BAD...HE HAD FUN AND HE'S SAFE...

GODS TESTING US RIGHT NOW WITH PPL PAYING US SLOOOOOOOWWWWLY...PRAYING WE GET CHECKS IN THIS WEEK.....

THANK YOU ALL FOR THE KIND WORDS ON KODY....YES HE IS FUN TO BE WITH..HE HAS A SILLY SINCE OF HUMOR...ALWAYS MAKING ME LAUGH...THATS WHY I LIKE TO SHARE HIM WITH YAL, BECAUSE I NO YOUR BOYS WERE/IS  YOUR JOY TOO....I LOOK AT HIM AND THINK..."DID THEY DO THINGS LIKE THIS TO MAKE THEIR MOMMAS LAUGH, DID THEY PICK ON THEIR MOMMA, GF, AND WRESTLE WITH THE DADS?".....I SMILE FOR YAL WHEN I THINK/SEE KODY BEING SILLY.....

 

[ericasmom]

After Eri died, her cell phone carrier called me to tell me that her bill was unpaid, and I said, " well that happens when you are killed." I hung up and they called back and said that I had to pay it, even under the circumstances, adn I said, " no, she was an adult, 19 years old, and now she is gone, and I am not going to pay the bill." I hung up, never heard from them again. I remember those first months and years, receiving mail in Erica's name, and it jolted me, but I do so love seeing her name in print, so sometimes it pleased me...

Lor, love the sad Kody pic, makes me laugh. 5th is good so give him a hug from me. Hell, 15 out of 15 is good to me, it is the getting in there and doing it that I am so impressed with.

love ya all,

dee

[shorty16]

Indigos

About 3 months ago, we received our car insurance bill and the insurance company but Brian's name back on the bill!!!

He had been removed for the last 3 bills (6 month intervals) and now we get a higher statement with our dead son's name on it.

YUCK - Scott went "outside" to talk to our insurance guy!!  It takes alot to get Scott made, and he was furious!!

Needless to say, a new, corrected bill came.

Now we just get the occational college advertisement.  It is circular-filed.

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever

[krichie]

I also have recieved alot of mail for Richie evan the part of the hospital bill and ambulance bills. He had one credit card and that company called almost every 3 days for over a month. All he owed was a total of 800.oo and they still refused to write it off they are going after his estate which is nothing. We have not settled with insurance company but there is nothing really left after all bills are paid to leave his kids and they want a lousy 800.

I have had ppl call asking for Richie and when I ask whos calling they say its a personal bussiness call and they can't talk to me.  Wonder how I can tell them the forwarding phone number for him beside saying  heaven would love to give them a number.

 

 

[mysonrich]

HI Indigoes, thought I'd list a link to the little town I am moving from in about 2 weeks.

http://www.timesleader.com/pittstondispatch/notes/Business_just_fine_on_Main_Street__Avoca_03-15-2009.html

Its a neat little town where I can walk to many places. Usually the deli where I can buy for one person, they still have a cut to order butcher . Lacking is fresh fruit/veggies in town. just not an area where fresh fruit in high on the list. growing up with a large garden and when hungry as a kid, we went out to the garden and ate a tomato or cucumber, as my kids did. So, I miss that.I have a hard time when the car is in the shop for example. There isn't really any way to get where I have to go. Or I should say when I want to go.Very limited.

 

Sus, things are in boxes. I am emotional though I'm not really sure why. nervous for some reason. I have the moving truck reserved and a couple guys to pack it. I'm kind of limited to how much I can haul around. Had surgery 5 years ago. They removed glands and nodes under my left arm which required skin graft, so, weakness there.

I'm a tad touchy lately. Told a friend about the guys thatare going to pack the truck, she suggested my neighbor and me and a couple friends pack it. Now, normally this comment wouldn;t bother me but ..she has many family members around to help her and has no clue and, I have trouble in the heat. I don't sweat right. She just has no clue about Rich and the heaviness I feel at times. Beside, on the other end of the road there is unpacking.  i can't pick up the phone abd have mom and dad fix this or that or drive me here or there....ok, I'm done bytching about that.

 

Dee, good to see you. Thought maybe you took another vacation from BI. You came back just when I was going to write a DM.

 

Carol, you probably know I read of Ralph on the Care Pages . Take care of yourself please.

 

Sherry, I was looking for the car title the other day. It wasn't where I thought it was but I did go through " junk". I ask myself "why". Why do I keep some of this stuff. Its gone now.

 

Reading daily just don't have much to ad. I want to fox things for others and can't so I join you all here and listen.

 

Lizzys mom, I read about your daughter before, somewhere. You are getting the word out about ATV's. I know it wasn't on the link you provided, so, somewhere I saw her sweet face before.

 

Betty, always good to see your handsome son.

 

I can't write Greg, not that story, not right now.

 

see you all later.

 

Betsy,mysonRich

[ericasmom]

Betsy, I think that I missed posting  two or three days this summer so I am unsure of why you thought I was not here. Are you sure you meant me because I don't think I have taken a break since you have joined, I think my time away happened before you found your way here.

I think Betsy, that I would be emotional about moving too, just for change alone, and then the thought of gathering it all and un packing. I wish that I could help out, though I am very disorganized and may be more trouble than not. I just know that moving is hard but the town sounds very cute. I wish you so many good thoughts.

Peace in this changing time,

dee

[krichie]

Moving must be an overwhelmng experience. To leave behind so much but going forward to new things.

When I was out walking yesturday I never thaught of moving before but out of the blue I was asking myself would it be easier to move away from this pain, to me it would not, this is both my boys home and this is our dream, there is to much of Richie everywhere I look.

On top of the decision to move you have to deal with the actual move, my heart goes out to you. PLease do not over do it. How is your daughter? I am not up to your history just remember reading she was not one to return calls?

I have not clicked on link to your new destination yet, I kind of envy a fresh start. I miss the days of the home town butcher

[lolynbo]

IVE BEEN TOLD TO LISTEN TO THIS SONG...PPL SAY IT REMINDS THEM OF KOURTNEY AND I...IM SURE YAL SADLY FIT THE BILL TOO

http://www.cmt.com/videos/caitlin-will/422685/address-in-the-stars.jhtml?id=3158379

[mysonrich]

Dee, I don't know why I thought that. Sometimes I miss posts. Sometimes people talk about pictures I can't see or there is a little box with a red x, so I know there is a pic. Later, I go back to look and low and behold, there is a pic!!

 

krichies mom, I'm actually going back to the state and bordering town where we are from. Its a generational area. My son will be every where I look. I moved here to be closer to my mom after she had a stroke. She died in May and I feel my work here is done. I'm pretty much alone here and headed back to family.My son helped me move here, and my daughter and friends. and no, she still doesn't return calls the way I think she should so I worry. I did read some of her facebook after Rich died, this was just recently after a year, and I read of how sick she was, off and on, after his death. when she was in college and I hand;t heard back from her, I left a message and told her if I didn't hear from her soon I was calling the Philadelphia PD. She got back to me real quick ha ha.

thanks for asking.

 

Betsy,mysonRich

[hotrod]

Hi Indigos

 

My One Last Day With Stephen

 

I would arrive at his quaint little home in Long Branch NJ and he will be up getting ready to go to the race track.    Bruce Springsteen would be cranking on the stereo and he will be smiling and so very happy.  His girlfriend will  arrive and they will pack up the truck and trailer and winch the race car into the van to be transported to the track,  I will watch them drive off down the driveway with Bruce playing and the both of them laughing  so very happy and singing along.

 

I will join them at the track an watch him race his heart out and win the points race that day.  He and she would be elated and tired and drive home unload the car into the garage and he would drive her home.

 He would return,  laugh and say that he had to shower and wash his hair as racing always gave him "Helmut Hair: from wearing the helmut all day.

 He and I would go to our favorite restaurant and order a Rack of Ribs,Onion Loaf and Peanut Butter Ice Cream Pie.

 

I would just sit across from him and absorb his energy, his smile, his voice and the sparkle in his eyes.  I would feel his wonderful and spirit right down to my soul.  I would never want to leave the restaurant and would tell him how he had enriched my life.  How I loved him and enjoyed every day of being his moms even the hard times.  I would hug him and never want to let him go and when he had to turn and leave I would cry and watch him go and pray so hard for One More Day

 

Betty Stephen'smom:)

[hotrod]

HI Indigos

 

Have been away at the New Jersey shore for a short time but have been reading and praying for each of you.  

 

Betsy I thought of you and Rich often as I sat in the sand and remembered back to the days of vacations at the shore with amusement parks and kite flying.  Loved the pictures of your little town  It did look so quaint and at the time you moved there it was perfect for your needs.  So glad your daughter and Rich helped you locate there   Good memories. Having professional movers do the job is the best way to go  I am glad you did that.  Take it easy rest, be gentle with yourself and know you are in my thoughts always.

Carol Been keeping up with you on te Care pages and you and Ralph are in my prayers

 

Dee School staring in 23 days Wow I know you love your job but as glad you are treating yourself to some dinners our and movies before the pressure to show up starts again.

 

Susannah Glad you are having a short vacation   You do deserve it.  Thinking of you and what a wonderful people you and your husband are .  The beautiful actions you both have taken on behalf of your very special  grandchildren speaks volumes about you both. The children as so  fortunate.    

 

Lorrie Loved the Song 

 

 Sherry the story of how your husband carries the tattered beautiful Holy picture  in his wallet touched my heart  You are such a kind generous person.

 

.Trudi Hope your Calligraphy class is going well and that my friend Mutley is still enjoying his daily walks..

 

Bonnie Loved the reminder of Pinnacle day and the remembering the joy I felt last year making Stephen's flag. 

 

Dan and Greg both of your tributes to Joey  were special

 

A Belated welcome to our new Indigos : Elaine, Patti,Rhoda, Jenn, Krichie's mom.  You have found a beautiful oasis where your heart will heal and your sadness heard.

 

I do not post for such a long time and now I cannot stop talking  I sound like Susannah

 

I have also been thinking about " one last day "and I have  posted following this message 

 

 It is short and I am more an observer but it would be my wish. 

 

Betty Stephen'smom:)

[summergirl]

Just stopping quick to say hello -  it was a beautiful day...fishing and beach with Tavian - now he and Pop-Pop are watching "Shark Week" on tv - Tavian loves anything to do with fish and really loves watching shows about nature. Better then most of the cartoons these days.

Lorri - It reminds me of Tavian and I when you talk about you and Kody - Tavian always makes me laugh and it is such a joy to be with him...  I love that you and he have each other the way you do and that you can lean on each other...we are blessed.

Suz - glad your time away was good.  Love the letter to the neurosurgeon !! 

Dee - dinner out 2 nights in a row !!  Yes, that can make you tired but also feel good. How was the movie ??

Still reading all posts just still not much to say - I sometimes feel like I have nothing to contribute although I know that is not true - everything said here is a contribution to all here...it is just me right now - it will get better.

Love, peace and prayers, Kathy

[Guest]

Betty - LOL....I love it!  You just talk all you want!

I received a queen's welcome home!  I've read all the posts, but the kids need some more "lovin'"...I'll catch up later...

love to you all!

Susannah/Stephanie's mom

[quellsmom]

I am new here and simply asking anyone to pray for my son Jaquell. He was two days short of 19 when he died. Thank you.

Lisa forever Jaquells mom-------

[hotrod]

Dear Dear Lisa,

 I am so very sorry for the loss of your oh so young, beautiful son  Jaquells.

I will include him in my prayers this evening and have his name placed on my prayer line tomorrow. 

Welcome to this very healing place.  I lost my only son Stephen 3 years ago and this wonderful Forum saved my sanity.

Please post a picture of Jaquells and tell us all about him.  Visit often and know you are not alone

Betty Stephen'smom:)