Loss of an Adult Child

[heartbeataway]

Oh, how I love you folks!  "You lift me up!"

I want to share something with you that someone sent me today. It has nothing to do with anything!  It's just plain funny as hell!

Enjoy!

[nicksdad]

Gee have not had time to get on and I see pages of postings to go thru..Job has me at a new location and totally worn out at the end of the day. Use to be able to go 15 hours or so a day with no problem. But, lately just a challenge to get up and even go out the door let alone anything else. But, i'm sure that will change.

Greg..That looked like a super event you had. Where did they actually place the Angel of Hope at? I know where my sister is from they have one. But, i'm assuming someone would have to give up the land for it.

Terrie..That was nice of you to take those pics to the lake with you.

Bonnie..Then entire thing is terrible. But the part about "we are so sorry son we thought we were doing the right thing" I don't agree with. I am sure from what you say Jay was a caring, giving individual himself as his parents are. Jay would of done the same thing and watching you all do those things for family I am sure made Jay proud. What this young man did is terrible beyond belief (especially to family). One can only hope that this being the type of individual he is that others will see thru him and his business will fail.

What is the date for Pinnacle Days?

NicksDad

Dan

[hotsauce]

Greg, thank you for sharing your day at the Angel of Hope Garden.

the statue is beautiful.  you said a friend of yours raised all the money buy herself, she must be a pretty great person, i sure would love to talk to her about how she went about doing it. 

that would be so great to have something like that in this little state of delaware, were we are losing our children so fast and so often.

your are very lucky to have a special place for all your angels.

thank you, mary ann

[heartbeataway]

Dan,

Thank you for the kind words. Pinnacle Days is the weekend of October 24th.

Bonnie, Jay's Mom

[daveydow1]

Greg----The Angel of Hope is beautiful. I agree with Marcia about the balloons.

They do look like lovely individual pearls---Pearls for our angels. Thank you

so much. Also, nice pic of you & Jan.

Bonnie----Oh, how very heartbreaking----the dirty trick that your nephew

pulled on your family. Sorry to say this, but he is a very underhanded sneak.

He HAD to know that Jay's construction business meant so very much to you,

and that you put your heart & soul into keeping it going. I know that you must

feel so betrayed. I can see why you cried and cried, and have had sleepless

nights. What he did is the height of treachery---and a dishonor to your dear Jay.

You did not let Jay down, Bonnie. You were very generous with nephew in the

hope that the business would prosper. How was you to know that all that sneaky

crap was going on ? Please be kind to yourselves, and my thoughts & prayers are

with you, friend.

Dee-----First week back to school---lots of noise. Hope it settles down to a dull

roar very soon.:?  In the meantime, hope you can get some serious rest.

   Daveysmom,   Sherry

[pknight]

Bonnie,

Pinacle Days sound amazing! What an outstanding way to honor your son & give what you are going through purpose . I am almost speechless! You have given me lots to think about! We have a Children's Garden here in Lafrenier Park that is paved with bricks with the kids names & dates & messages.

Let the lawyers deal with your nephew. Your efforts are way more worthwhile! Thanks you for sharing

Pam Kenny's mom

[ericasmom]

Greg and Jan, thank you so much for sharing the day with our angels and with us. Jan and Greg, it is good to see the faces of my friends, so thanks Greg for sharing you with us. The statue is gorgeous, the turnout is a testament to the people involved, and the day that sky is a gift from your Brian. BRIAN,BRIAN, BRIAN, what a good man you are... What good parents that love you from their deepest souls.

Bonnie, my heart aches for what you now are dealing with. You trusted, and for that you are simply a wonderful human, who mustn't stop trusting. Jay would have trusted his cousin as well, he would have helped wherever he could, and why? Well because he is yours and Rich's Son, and he learned about a giving and good heart from you both. You were tricked but it sure does not make you look stupid, what it does is make you look like the good humans you are who were treated very badly by family. What in heaven's name could make this young man do such mean and spiteful things? I know that you are aching, I know that your heart feels stepped upon, but know that Jason is proud of you both for first of all taking on the act of building his little company, and proud that you offered the help and support to his cousin.  Don't let this stop your heart adn your spirit Bonnie, from future opportunities to support folks. YOu are as Trudi put, a brave and strong woman, a tough gal with a heart of gold. Keep fighting the good fight. There are reasons to keep moving forward Dear. You have work to do, such fine work. Pinnacle Days is coming and so much good comes from this wonder-day. Hooray that Col is going to be there.

wish I could be.

Pam thanks for clarifying your position in the world. Now I get it about the hurricane. I know that this anniversary must be difficult, without your Kenny. He holds you tight Pam, I hope that somehow you feel his big heart wrap around you. You and MaryAnn have a great deal in common and I think of you at times as living near one another. Thanks for thinking of me teaching, you too sherry, I am getting ready for more tomorrow. Sleeping has been key.

Love to all,

dee

[ericasmom]

Bonnie, love the video of the pound cake lady. Thanks, made me laugh and how very sweet of you to offer laughter in the face of your hurt.

Marcia, I love the shoes going to the kids. I adore the story about the boy who is older and being helped by you two. Good for you guys. Feels so good doesn't it? Our ERi fund is like that, helping kids have the things that they simply would not get to have without the money from the fund in ERi's name. I feel her shining on us when we are able to assist. Oh and the horn, so cool that you shared Bethany's horn with a child.

Right now the very bright moon, bigger than a half moon, is shining through the window and into my heart. HELLO ERICA, I LOVE YOU MY LITTLE BING.Help us Angles, to touch the lives of others through your beautiful lives that fill our hearts and minds. Help us to be mindful of those in this world that are feeling alone so that we may reach out and lend our ear, our shoulder, our hearts.

Peace in all we do,

dee

[ericasmom]

Pam, maybe you can have some sort of memorial to your Kenny at the Childrens' Park. Can you buy a brick to have his name engraved?

Mary Ann, to you as well, is there some way of having a fund in which to raise money for a statue to honor those Children, those brave Children like your Boy, like Pam's Son?  Or like the other funds some of us have or events in which to raise funds toward scholarships or donations toward funding of cures.

Claudia, how goes your plans toward the wedding?

Trudi, how did the planning for the engagement go?

[heartbeataway]

Hope is a rare gift that, if we are lucky, comes to us with the power to heal our lives. I've come to know that the deepest sense of hope often springs from the hardest lessons in life. It is in the darkest skies that stars are best seen...perhaps it is divine irony that within the darkest moments we are capable of revealing the greatest light, demonstrating what is best in humanity.

Richard Paul Evans

I found this on a site where I was exploring ....... looking for the Angel of Hope.  I want one!

Thanks for the inspiration Greg!  I have so much on my plate that all I need to do is add one more thing but I just love this angel and it's purpose so much!

Bonnie, Jason's Mom

[briansdad]

[user=27196]nicksdad[/user] wrote:

Greg..That looked like a super event you had. Where did they actually place the Angel of Hope at? I know where my sister is from they have one. But, i'm assuming someone would have to give up the land for it.

NicksDad

Dan

Dan,

We asked the Parks Dept to donate the land.After a few meetings they agreed.I really think that they thought my friend Cindy couldn't do it.

We became good friends from her first BP meeting. Her son and Brian both died in motorcycle accidents Sept. 2004 They were both our oldest. Both had children with their girlfriends.Our second born children were boys and finally our youngest were girls both named Jessica. Needless to say we have become quite close.

[briansdad]

[user=19401]heartbeataway[/user] wrote:

Hope is a rare gift that, if we are lucky, comes to us with the power to heal our lives. I've come to know that the deepest sense of hope often springs from the hardest lessons in life. It is in the darkest skies that stars are best seen...perhaps it is divine irony that within the darkest moments we are capable of revealing the greatest light, demonstrating what is best in humanity.

Richard Paul Evans

I found this on a site where I was exploring ....... looking for the Angel of Hope.  I want one!

Thanks for the inspiration Greg!  I have so much on my plate that all I need to do is add one more thing but I just love this angel and it's purpose so much!

Bonnie, Jason's Mom

Get the book the Christmas Box. It will help you understand the Angel.

Bonnie, If anyone can do it you can. Any one here wants to tackle this I will ask Cindy if she could come up with a manual for all of you.

[briansdad]

Here is a brick we placed for some friends from our group who had to move to Utah.Lexi was a cutie.

[lostwoher]

Ok, you got me wondering after reading all about the Angel of Hope and here is what I have discovered:

http://www.angelsofhopeinc.org/ourStory.htm

Its about a 2 hour drive from me so hoping to get to go for a visit on a weekend soon. I have never heard of such a thing until I joined this group. I may need to purchase a brick in the future.

What a special friend you have found in Cindy.

Thinking of you Bonnie. Shame shame shame on that dirty rascal. He needs to be careful of what he will recieve in return. Its not up to us what will fall upon him but rest assured a higher power will have some say. I am so sorry that family has done you, Rich and Jay and many others so badly. Stand tall and proud, you have done nothing wrong or nothing to be ashamed of. Love and strength sister!

Worked a 10 hour shift today ( oops- just typed **** ) and im pooped. Off tomorrow so I will have the day to rejuvenate. Enjoy the beaches,schools, sunrises/sets or tasks that may be on hand. Chat again soon.

Lynn                   Thank you for the BI balloon!!

[mikesmum]

Dee  -   After much discussion and deliberation we stumbled on a do-it-yourself kit with translucent inserts, matching card and envelopes.  She has quite a lot on her plate, assignments, finals, kids, home and now organising her party.  She's a little (?!) like me, stubborn, single minded of purpose and believes she can do it all with no help. She is a cutie though.  Thankfully, she relinquished some of the stuff I can do for her and is a peace with what's left.  In the past years I have learnt to let go and know I can't always do it all.......lessons to grasshoper when she slows down!

Bonnie - Let the legals have a field day with your nephew.  Wonder if there is some breech of contract given he secured much of his new business through your company??  If you stop being who you are then you become one of them....not worth it.  I think Pinnicle Days is where your heart and mind needs to be.  Jason comes from 'good people'.  I know I got to see that in MN. 

Greg - the handbook sounds like a great idea....

[tanmanmymagicman]

Hey, Bonnie, that;s why I am always saying that Tanner is in a peaceful place where no one can hurt him anymore.......and we are left in this PIT to struggle through each day.......Don't get me wrong we do have our happy times but I trust VERY few; since I lost my mom and dad; I can only trust my sister(she has a very kind heart) my husband (totally) I believe he would die for me......and of course my 3 remaining children.....but kids are kids and they have their own lives to live..............

I am so sorry this has happened to you.....I tell my kids to watch out for everyone and don't trust anyone and that only my husband and myself and their spouses really care about them.....I know that kinda sounds cold because I do have great friends and so do they so they are excluded ; but its the truth; I am so glad I am not out in the corporate america world and enjoy my notary business; people can be so cruel and uncaring.......Bless all of you tonight...........Especially you Bonnie.

Cindy; Tanner's mom

[lolynbo]

WELL WERE HOME, 7 DAYS AT SEA MAKES ONE WEAK....WOW WE ARE POOPED...HAD A GREAT TIME

WE RELEASED KOURTNEYS HAIR AT EVERY PORT AND THEN OFF THE BACK OF THE BOAR, SO JAMACIA, GRAND CAYMONS, COZUMEL, AND ON WAY BACK IN THE OCEAN..WE HAVE PICS I WILL POST LATER...

GOT 2 GREAT SIGNS AS SOON AS WE GOT OFF BOAT IN JAMAICIA...FIRST SIGN (I HAVE PICS) A FISHING BOAT NAMED "KOURTNIE ROSE" (WHATS THE CHANCES?)

2ND SIGN: KODY DIGGIN IN BEACH AT JAMACIA, FINDS 2 RINGS...ONE RING SAYS "EVERLASTING LOVE" WHATS THE CHANCES?

SEVERAL BEAUTIFUL ART WORK/ ART CLASS SUNSETS...

I ONLY GOT DRUNK ONE NIGHT/DAY WAS IN BED BY 4:30PM, AND WOKE UP GOT DRESSED AND WENT BACK OUT BY 10:30PM BACK IN BED BY 12....(IM TOOOO OLD FOR THAT)

OUR BAR TAB/COKES/SOME TRINKETS FROM GIFT SHOP AND THE GRATUITIES FOR 4 WAS   $1100.00 FOR 7 DAYS...

WE MET A COUPLE THEIRS WAS 1200 FOR JUST THE 2 OF THEM WOWWIEEEEEEEE

WILL POST PICS WHEN I GET THEM

[mpsmom]

Lorrie, I LOVE LOVE LOVE the 'signs' from your sweet Kourtney !!! How wonderful is that... Glad you had a great time... You are encouraging to me, I have been debating on booking a trip to Mexico this fall. 

Love you !!  Marcia    Bethany's Mom Forever

 

 

 

[nicksdad]

Brian..I figured the land was donated. I am sure they were very surprised to see that she actually collected the money. The brick is great looking also. I was reading about that book last nite, gonna get it.

Bonnie..We must of thinking the same thing. I was on Richard Evans site last nite and there is a page explaining all about getting one of the angels http://richardpaulevans.com/angel-statues/

Now it has my mind going about doing it, but alot of work. Not sure now is the time....

[briansdad]

Here is a link to all the locations

http://richardpaulevans.com/angel-locations/

[pknight]

I am going to get Kenny a brick or 2, but other than that I'm Stuck. I've lost what little faith I had. Most times I do not feel Kenny around, I just feel empty & angry. I wish I didn't, I wish I believed he was better off, but I just don't know! That is why I didn't go back to compassionate friends. I can't embrace any part of losing hIm! I wish I were where y'all are at but I am not.

I have gotten comfort here & a lot to think about, but if it is ok with you I would just like to lurk & Learn!

I still just have my phone to get on as this just financially totaled me. It is a pain typing with my thumbs on a 2 Inch screen.

I hate bringing people down who have gone through this, but refuse to be anything else but real!

I am asking permission to lurk as I don't wish to make anyone uncomfortable. Reading back posts I saw some suspicion! Believe me when I say that I wish I had never had a reason to look for this help in the first place! If lurking is not ok just say so & I will understand.

Hugs to all

Pam

[mikesmum]

[user=34502]pknight[/user] wrote:

I am going to get Kenny a brick or 2, but other than that I'm Stuck. I've lost what little faith I had. Most times I do not feel Kenny around, I just feel empty & angry. I wish I didn't, I wish I believed he was better off, but I just don't know! That is why I didn't go back to compassionate friends. I can't embrace any part of losing hIm! I wish I were where y'all are at but I am not.

I have gotten comfort here & a lot to think about, but if it is ok with you I would just like to lurk & Learn!

I still just have my phone to get on as this just financially totaled me. It is a pain typing with my thumbs on a 2 Inch screen.

I hate bringing people down who have gone through this, but refuse to be anything else but real!

I am asking permission to lurk as I don't wish to make anyone uncomfortable. Reading back posts I saw some suspicion! Believe me when I say that I wish I had never had a reason to look for this help in the first place! If lurking is not ok just say so & I will understand.

Hugs to all

Pam

Pam - don't think lurking is quite right, but please stay with us and read - post if you want.  Many of us 'lurked' for months once we posted, like you unsure, our lives altered forever.  I found BI while searching for answers to the whys what ifs.  I read and found others who 'got it', they knew me even though we had never met. 

Being 'real' is what posting here is truly about.  You can be real here, we get it.  You won't bring people here down with your story - we all have one and know the journey is hard.

Over the past 2+yrs I found that nothing would give me back my son. Being here helped me remember that there was so much more to Micheal than that one day that altered me forever.

I wasn't alone with my feelings and my heartache.  The saying 'time heals all wounds' isn't quite exact, what it does is allows this ache, this sadness to find its place in our lives. 

Please stay, no permission needed........Trudi

[4everjoeysmom]

Pam, You don't have to post if you are uncomfortable with what you want to share. You don't have to be where everyone else is just to fit in either. People here are on varying levels of the grief journey. Yours is so young and fresh, and terrible and painful. We have ALL been there. Some of us still are. It's a long haul for each of us. Just come and read if that helps in any way. It's perfectly OK. We want you here, whether you post or not. You are part of our family now. Post whenever you want, and if you want to send any of us private messages, feel free to do that too. Being there for you in your tough moments does not bring me down. I doubt it does anyone else either. LOVE and more love, and hugs and prayers!!! ~Claudia

[ericasmom]

Ditto all of the words that TRudi and Claudia have offered Pam. I would not consider your reading posts, lurking. You are simply reading and learning and relating and not so simply, mourning and grieving. As we all know, there is nothing simple about that. If any of us are giving you a nugget to hang on to, then we are all glad because one thing sure, if we have to be on this path, and obviously we all do, then we would like it to be in part, to help the next person out. You are in our hearts and prayers. If you do not have faith, that is okay, you do not have to be of any belief system to be cared for here. Just know that you and Kenny are being held in many hearts.

Lori, you are back, hooray, how was it, sounds like Kourtney loved the stops you made, making sure that you knew of her presence in the best of ways. That Girl. Looking forward to your photos.

Ok, a better day with my little louds. I gave them work and kept them busy today, and they responded in kind. WE had a recess and those that did not get enough Math done, sat with me outside and got it done if they wanted recess. Some of the kids just daydream, some seriously do not know how to do the math, so by next week, I should have it worked out as to how much to expect from each child.

Love,

dee

[heartbeataway]

Thanks Dan & Greg for the Angel info.

Dee, what lucky little louds you have!

[ericasmom]

Thanks Bonnie, I am really the lucky one, I have a child that had to finish her math because she definitely is on another planet many times in the day, she is simply gorgeous, and she hums, and she is another zone. So when she joins in she asks," so what did I miss?" I laughed so hard. So after working on math with me outside, she was terribly excited to get it done, she said, " do you know what I am going to do now? I am going to go to the swings to daydream." I loved that, she knew where she wanted to go to do her best daydreaming. Pretty little girl, blessing us with her sweet take on life.

Peace dearies,

dee

PS prayers and hope going out to those in California, dealing with the fires.

[lostwoher]

Dan & Greg, I thank you too. I wouldnt have even known there was more than one Angel of Hope until I checked out the web pages. Some close, some not so close but its nice to know there are available.

Dee- 'little clouds' hahaha how cute. Best of luck to another great year of teaching

Pam- Im a lurker too hehe

Welcome home Lorri. Looking forward to seeing pictures of another part of the world.

Sour note: I recieved word yesterday morning that my brother inlaw's nephew ( Dustin ) has been missing since friday. He is 28 yrs old but none the less it isnt like him to go unseen or unheard from. Family is very concerned. The last known person to have seen him has given different stories of what transpired while they were together. He has a child and a girlfriend who are a mess with worry. Since Im not in a position to say much to the big guy upstairs I do ask that anyone who does, please keep the family in mind. I will post more info when I hear anything. Thank YOU, THANK YOU!!

Lynn            

[lostwoher]

  Helloooooo! Hey! Did everybody take a leave of absence from here or go on vacation? Where is everybody??

Lynn

[mpsmom]

i WAS JUST THINKING THE SAME THING

marcia   Bethanys Mom Forever

[briansdad]

Dee,

Your story about the little girl reminded of this song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=noVC5Jt2Gu8

[ericasmom]

Hi Guys, my students are in their first art class of the year with my favorite art teacher. She was my own kids art teacher. This is her last year and I will dearly miss her. Many are retiring this year. She and the music teacher who is also amazing, who also taught my kids...hard act to follow for any teacher coming in to take over.

Greg, thanks so much, I don't think I ever heard that Harry song, though love Mr. Chapin. Great song, good meaning. Unfortunately for many kids, there are teachers too many of them, that tell a kid what he is seeing and feeling. I loved the song when the boy moved and found a teacher that was like minded to his free thinking self. We must remember to retain the child inside of us in order to relate to the world's children.

So it is quiet here, I thnk many are busy with work issues and what not. It is meterologic autumn today. That means, meterologically speaking, that it is spring for Trudi.

Love to all,

dee

[mikesmum]

It is spring and the reason I haven't popped in is that the site from here was down.  Its beautiful here at the moment.  Light breeze, daffodils, freeshias, hyacinth and bright blue skies.

I was informed today that Mikes doctor will be bought before a professional ethics standard hearing in Oct.  I have been asked to attend.  He is charged with:

Over prescribing and inappropriately prescribing Schedule 4 (restricted drugs) & 8 (drugs of addiction) to his patient.

Prescribing Schedule 8 (drugs of addiction) to a patient he had reason to believe was drug dependant without a permit.

The he failed to adequately assess and manage his patients chronic pain and depression.

This Doctor was his treating physician for 10yrs, till his death.  The day Mike died he was 'unavailable' to attend for the cetification.

Faith, peace and the yearning for a better tomorrow.......Hey Mike

[lostwoher]

Trudi, do you know what the board is trying to accomplish with this hearing? Meaning- are they thinking his license will be revoked, suspended...Im glad to see they are taking a stand and not just letting this go on. Makes a person wonder how many times this has happened to other patients of his. So sorry you have to go thru this. Im sure it wont be easy. Be strong and fight for Mike. It wont make your situation any better but this should help anybody else going thru troubled times and to get the help they need. When will this meeting take place?

Glad to know it is spring there. It has been quite chilly here for the past several days. Fall has arrived a bit early but its my favorite season. Not looking forward to the cold winter days so I will just enjoy what we have for as long as I can.

So happy this site is back and running again. I think its time they update the software or something. I thought everybody took a vacation without me .

I left a post yesterday but needless to say it didnt post. Sad news again for my family. My brother inlaw's nephew has been missing since last friday. He is an adult ( mid 20's) but it is so not like him to disappear like this. No calls from his cell since fri around noon. The last known person to be with him has given 3 different stories to the police. One other person is being 'looked' for but seems to be hiding. Family is sick with worry. His son is like a shadow and is trying to be strong but its obvious he is just as concerned. Rumors has spread like wildfire which doesnt help the situation at all. They ( family) has even recieved anonymous calls that he has been found but nothing is true. These people even say the most hurtful things. How sad is that! Im not much to talking to the higher power at the moment but I am asking that for those of you who do to please say a prayer for Dustin and his family. Even if it isnt what any of us want to hear, at least let him be brought home.

I worked a late shift last nite and now Im due to be back in first thing this morning. Whew- 4 & 1/2 hours isnt enough rest from that place. I dont know how many times I have complained about these hours but something has to give. Im too old to keep up anymore. Off I go.

Have a great day!

Lynn

[heartbeataway]

Wow! Glad we're back up and running. It's a weird, almost scary feeling to try to log in and get a message that the site has "crashed" ..... but, hellooo, we're back! Thanks to all you precious folks in the background for keeping us together!

I'm fighting "crawling into my shell" right now. I can't even talk about how overwhelmed I am .......

Dee, please share the antics of this precious child that has found her way to your class. She sounds absolutely delightful! Does she remind you of Eri in ways? When I was reading your post I couldn't help thinking of her, your little tinker bell.

Well, I'm loving this feels almost like Fall Virginia weather! We sleep with our windows open and need long sleeves and socks in the mornings and evenings. LOVE it!!

Until later, I wish you strength for the journey,

Bonnie, Jay's Mom

[mikesmomrs]

I wasn't on yesterday, either, because the site was not available...kept getting the message that the site had crashed and needed to be repaired.  I sent a message to Kelly, so either it was fixed or came back on its own.  When I couldn't get on the site, I felt as though a dear friend had closed the door on me...weird, eh....

Yesterday, I had my appt with my therapist, and shared about our trip to MN.  I truly made his day...he was smiling throughout the whole story, and as you know, my stories are lengthy!  lol!  I showed him the picture Marcia made for us, and he agreed that the sentiment at the top of the picture was truly right on..."We will be an encouragement to each other." (Romans 15:32)  I forgot to bring a picture of the model red VW punchbuggy I found at the mall, but he was delighted when I told him the story of it.  The best part of telling him about the trip was the reliving of it as I told him...all the feelings of sharing, friendship, love, caring and understanding came back full force, and I know it showed on my face and could be heard in my voice.  Trudi and Marcia, I told him of the dvd's we all shared of your beautiful Mike and Bethany, as well, (and the pics you shared, Dee, of your Erica) and in the telling it was as though I were watching them all over again.  He especially liked the idea of the picture boards, and how we came together to share and "say their names" out loud to each other and all who watch the video.  So, I thank all of you again, for a wonderful experience that provides me with new memories to entwined with the old ones, making them even dearer than before. 

Trudi, that is quite remarkable about Mike's doctor...is he being charged just in Mike's instance, or are there other patients involved?  I know that it is likely "stirring the pot" for you again, as when you were at trial, and I send you strength and love to help you through the repercussions of it all.   I am so glad that it is spring there, and the flowers are bringing you some joy in their return.  The weather here since Sunday has been just gorgeous, crisp and clear with the sun warming through the day...I just love it when fall is sending it's little hints through the air...just a week ago it was in the 90's, and this morning it is just 50 degrees.  I actually polanted the mums for fall over the weekend and the yard is taking on its "autumn" look. 

Lynn:  I am so sad for your brother-in-law's family; I will keep them in my prayers today...

Kathy---is Tavian home now?  I imagine he has grown like a weed since you saw him last...I do hope he settles in okay and is happy returning to school.  I know that you both are so very happy to have him home.

All of our grandkids returned to school this week and have called us to talk about their excitement over their new school year, though I haven't heard from the girls in Virginia...they don't have a phone, and it is very upsetting that we can't talk to them more often.  We have decided to send them a cell phone to use to call us. ..I hope their mom isn't upset with us when she gets it...of course, I have addressed it to her, so it is up to her whether or not she lets them see it/use it.   The only reason they don't have one is that they really can't afford it, so maybe she will see it as it truly is---a gift---and welcome it.  She has let me buy minutes for their prepaid phone before, so I don't imagine she will mind this. 

Have a  good day, all...will check in later to see if anyone has posted...

love and peace,  carol  mikesmomrs

[heartbeataway]

I want to throw some questions out to you guys .....

If you could choose ONE thing that reminds you of your child, what would it be?

A particular sign?  A particular car?  A word?  A poem?  A saying?

What color would you associate with your child?

If you could choose something to symbolize your child, what would you choose?

This would be hard for me too! 

I think I would choose the word, honor, for the answer to the first question.

After he left, his friends put a tattoo together choosing letters from words that he had written to form the word, HONOR and added his "signature", JH, beneath the word.  I never hear or see the word that I don't think of him.

Sweet!

For the answer to the second question, I really want to choose two colors, blue & white, because his "uniform" was blue jeans and a white t-shirt.

But, since it's only one, I would choose the blue.  His eyes were such a pretty blue ......

For question three, the first thing that popped into my mind was "sunshine". I like to say he was, "scrubbed in sunshine".  

[heartbeataway]

Heard this on GMA this morning.  I liked it and thought it worth sharing. Enjoy!

[lolynbo]

If you could choose ONE thing that reminds you of your child, what would it be?

A particular sign?  A particular car?  A word?  A poem?  A saying?

What color would you associate with your child?

If you could choose something to symbolize

WOW WHAT A HARD CHOICE:

ONE THING THAT REMINDS ME OF KOURTNEY, (JUST THE AIR REMINDS ME OF HER) BUT JUST ONE THING WOULD HAVE TO BE, LOVE BECAUSE SHE WAS SO FULL OF SO MUCH "LOVE".

THE COLOR IS ORANGE EVERYTHING ORAGNE REMINDS ME OF HER..

BUT SO MANY THING REMIND ME OF HER, LAUGHTER, HER DOGGIE, BERENT, HER BROTHER AND SISTER, HOSPITALS, LOUD TRUCKS, THE RACES, CAMPING, EATING, BABIES, HARLEIGH, MINE AND HER CLOTHES, VACCUMING (SHE ALWAYS MADE FUN OF E VACCUMING 20XS ADAY) THE WORDS "WHATEVER AND I KNOW SHE DIDNT"..I DONT NO I COULD NAME A MILLION...

I WOKE UP THIS MORNING TO A TEXT FROM MY BROTHER "OUR LIL GIRL VISITED ME LAST NIGHT" I IMMEDIATELY RESPOND "WHAT" "WHAT DID SHE SAY OR DO" I HAVENT GOT  A ANSWER YET..

I SURE WAS LOST WITHOUT YAL YESTERDAY...THANK GOD I FOUND BI AND MY FRIENDS..OR I PROB WOULD HAVE ENDED IT ALL BY NOW

[ericasmom]

Hi All,

so glad to see your beautiful Children here, so glad. I missed you all so much yesterday.

Lynn, prayers for Dustin indeed and for his family. What a sadness for evereyone involved. It brings so much loss for you too, right up close. Remember to take care of yourself.

Can't stay on right now, kids you know, ending spanish class. So I will catch up with you all later. Loving you dearly. I have many anecdotes from this group Bonnie, so yes, I will keep you posted on the little Beauty t hat planned her daydreams. Speaking of dreams, I had two horrid ones that woke me with a start each time last night. Don't recall them.

dee

[4everjoeysmom]

[user=19401]heartbeataway[/user] wrote:

If you could choose ONE thing that reminds you of your child, what would it be?

A particular sign?  A particular car?  A word?  A poem?  A saying?

What color would you associate with your child?

If you could choose something to symbolize your child, what would you choose?

Wow, I'm so glad BI is back. tried many, many times yesterday but also saw the site had crashed. Wonder if it got hacked? So much of that going on in the web world these days--shutting down and compromising major web sites.

Anyway, my status today is: My husband said he heard me cry in my sleep twice last night. I don't remember dreaming, and I don't remember any tears. Isn't it sad how deeply grief affects us, even in our unconscious/sunbconscious state of sleep, and even after 3 years?.....

Not much I can add to that... I think maybe the wedding planning is sparking some really deep grief to surface. They want a memorial table for Joey set up with a photo and a candle, and I am writing a poem for that. How wonderful, and how very sad at the same time...

Bonnie, so many questions we think about all the time, eh? My answers:

One thing that reminds me of my child: Monkeys! His name is Joey McConkey. I always called him Joey Monkey, and even taught him to spell his last name as Monkey with "two c's in the middle--a big one and a little on".

What color do I associate with Joey? That's a tough one, because he wore so many different colors. He had such a bright and colorful personality, sense of humor, etc. I guess I choose Gold. Because even Fort Knox could not contain the worth of my son.

A symbol to remind me of Joey: Again a Monkey. But also the phrase "Side-By-Side". That was just his way...

Blessings, love, and HUGS to everyone this fine September 2nd day!! ~Claudia (4EverJoeysMom)

[shorty16]

If I had to pick one thing that sums up my son, Brian it would be the:

Bob Marley song,

Three little Birds,

"Don't worry ----- bout a thing---Every little thing gonna be alright"

LET'S ALL SING TOGETHER

The lyrics to this song was left at the crash site.

I laminated the lyrics and they are in the center of our shadow-box containing some of Brian's memories.

Colleen

 

[mpsmom]

Trudi, I am glad to hear that something will be done About the doctor who prescribed so many drugs to Mike.  We have a doctor nearby who was just arrested for this same thing, he had some sort of association with the pharmacy that he sent the patients to.  Be strong for your boy, and all the others he may have helped to end their lives. 

Dee, I can’t find the story of the little girl who reminded you of Eri, you sound like such a wonderful teacher, Bethany had a few, not a lot but a few who really touched her life.  I remember in second grade ( I think) her teacher at Catholic school was pregnant, Bethany was so annoyed with her that she was going to leave her class before the end of the year to have ‘a creepy baby”….. (Bethany’s words) she just couldn’t understand what the fuss was all about, why did her teacher want a baby when she had her wonderful kids in her class.  She was actually mad at the teacher for a short while before she went out on maternity leave. Dee, I did not know you brought pictures of Erica----I would have loved to look at them, I apologize for not asking to see them… certainly I must have been there..????  Please bring them again, I love seeing your little “Tink” .

Lynn, I don’t pray a lot either since Bethany’s leaving us, but I will say a prayer for Dustin and his family.  I am sorry you are working back to back shifts – that has got to put a strain on your body and mind.

Carol, I am so glad you shared your MN experience with your counselor, I have shared the story with so many people, what a wonderful weekend that was---so many happy experiences, the laughing and the happy tears, I am looking forward to the next time we all are together. .   

Bonnie, I am sorry that you are feeling overwhelmed by this business stuff. You tried to do the right thing by giving this young man a chance and job, I hope that Karma will remind him of what he has done to you and to Jay. 

[dannysmomma]

Hi to all my BI friends:)I know it's been awhile since I've posted but I've had some things to work thru.We are "adjusting"(that's about as close a description as I can think of) to life without Danny being with us.I don't fool myself,I know the 1st holidays will be hard but I think we'll be ok.I took Dakota to the Dr's for an eye issue and mentioned to his Doc that they had no information on Type 1/Juvenile diabetes  anywhere in the office and that a lot of parents do not know the signs & symptoms and maybe putting some info out may save a life.She agreed so we'll see.My good deed done for the day.I was reading an article about John Travolta and his grief for the loss of his child.Pee'd me off because they made the guy sound like a nutcase.He lost his child not a goldfish,it takes a long time to "heal" and sorry 8 months isn't that long a time.It irks me to no end that people assume you should "get over" things like it's that easy.Anyhoo..kids are back to school,somewhat bittersweet this would have been Dan's final year of school.His teacher emailed me that they want to do his Memorial ceremony before his birthday.I said any day is fine as long as everyone has fun making his garden.I still miss him terribly,always will,but not as gut wrenching as before.I guess that's a big bump I was able to make it over.Slow going journey but I smile a lot more thinking of him,rather than breaking down and crying.Ramble,ramble..lol..I hope everyone had a nice summer ,I've missed you all and {{hugs}}}

[mpsmom]

One thing that reminds me of Bethany is seeing little yellow VW Bugs when we are out, no matter what my mood this always brings a smile to my face, thankfully yellow bugs should be on the road for years and years to come.

So then I would say the collor yellow, reminds me of Bethany, yellow VW's, yellow sunflowers, the sun itself, yellow roses, yellow in Monarch butterflies.

The verse she wrote and posted on her myspace is always on my mind.. .. "Life changes every minute of every day........................In the end you find yourself just happy to be living life"  

Baby girl ---------  I am trying my best to live up to this verse.

Hugs, Marcia   Bethanys Mom Forever  

[ericasmom]

Lyn, so good to see that you are back and that photo of Danny is a sight for my old eyes. So perfectly happy and ready for the day. I am heartened to hear that you are feeling less gut wrenching and more of the goodness comes through. I know there are very hard days, but that the memories can make you smile is very good. Letting your doc know that she needs diabetes pamphlets is a great way to spread the word. My Son and his Girl are walking for juvenile diabetes in October. Shannon's nephew has it. They are doing great work raising money for resesarch and awareness.

When folks ask or indicate that we aren't over our losses, ask them if they have forgotten the day they brought their child home from the hospital? Are they over that? That is a forever sense, one that cannot be replaced or mimicked or forgotten. It is part of you as is the loss of our DEAREST BABIES, always with us and now, a part of us.

Trudi, I am happy that the doc is going to be looked at, his behaviour was very dangerous. I think that it will be important that they set a precedent with over prescribing.

I know it is difficult to go through more court sessions, but I admire the hope that is involved in this.

Marcia, you were probably getting a million things in order for the posterboard thing. I will indeed bring my TINK to the next reunion.

Love to all,

dee

Bon, will have to answer your questions from my home computer, it has color ability and this one does not.

[briansdad]

[user=19401]heartbeataway[/user] wrote:

If you could choose ONE thing that reminds you of your child, what would it be?

A particular sign?  A particular car?  A word?  A poem?  A saying?

What color would you associate with your child?

If you could choose something to symbolize your child, what would you choose?

One thing? It would have to be his baby girl. She looks so much and acts so much like him.

A word? B-boy , my nickname for him.

A saying? I vote.

Every time he saw a cute girl he would say to his buddies"I vote"which meant she's OK in my book.

A color? White! for all the car t shirts he wore

Today is the day he picked up his motorcycle 5 years ago. The beginning of his journey to paradise.

 

 

[heartbeataway]

Wow!

Your answers to my questions are touching my heart! 

Didn't expect tears!

I've come up with an idea and I'm going to see if I can bring it to fruition.

Bonnie, Jay's Mom

[mikesmum]

To all - The investigation was initiated over a year ago by the Coroner.  I was asked to submit my 'recollection' of Mikes treatments and the concerns they posed.  From the coroners findings I got that this doc didn't have authorisation to prescribe these 'drugs of addiction'.  From the docs reply I got he believed as early as 2004 that Mike was becoming addicted to these same meds.

For the doc this hearings 'punishment' can range from something as simple as a warning & re-education to a Civil hearing whereby his registration is revoked and he is charged with 'a crime'.

For me, well knowing all I knew I still had faith in the system and Mikes family practitioner.  That has changed.  I would like to see a raising of 'awareness' with treating physicians & pharmacists in regards to  'long term or chronic pain patients'.  I would like to see a Medical Record system between all treating hospitals that allows access to a patients medical records online.

Mikes doctors wrote in his final lines of his response, "Micheal unfortunately fell through the cracks during his illness and treatment"

I don't want anyone else to fall through those cracks......:?

[mikesmum]

Lynn - I don't know what is worse, not knowning or those who would find some perverse joy in being so stupid as to raise the families hopes without basis.  I will hold your family in my thoughts and hope that someone somewhere finds Dustin and this nightmare for them ends.

Bonnie -   I love your description of Jay "scrubbed in sunshine".  He certainly is. Your questions evoke such memories of the baby, the boy, the man.

His music -  he loved  playing writing and listening.

A sign - Harmony - she lives on in his likeness

A word - Gentle - a sensitive open child/man who touch so many whose lives were lived outside the 'norm'. or Michooooooool, the grandbabies would call him before they could say Micheal.....so cute such memories.

Love the lyrics from Whitney  " and when melodies are gone, in you I hear a song "

Wishing you were here

[4everjoeysmom]

Trudi:

"Micheal unfortunately fell through the cracks during his illness and treatment"

When I read this, I nearly fell on the floor. I know my heart is still there waiting to be picked up. MY GOD!! How does this happen?! And to see those words in black and white, with your son's name attached to it. HUGS a million to you!!! Unbelievable... My prayer matches your hope...that enough is done that no one else should ever fall through the cracks.

Danny's Mama: So good to see your post and to hear that you've crossed over such a major hurdle. It doesn't mean we won't have days again that take our breath away. But getting over those initial seemingly never-ending times of breathlessness and pain... God bless you. Look forward to seeing you here more as you're able.

Greg: My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family through this bittersweet time of remembrance marking the anniversary of Brian's beginning journey to Paradise. An unfinished life... Blessings to you and yours!

Also loving everyone's posts to Bonnie's questions... tugging at the heart all day long...