Loss of an Adult Child

[lostwoher]

hehehehehehehehehe he has finally come to his scences. hahahaha

[daveydow1]

Bets----Amazing pic of the spot on the driveway. Just goes to show...

Danny's always here...there...and everywhere.

Dawn---Sorry you are having a hart time of it right now. My thoughts &

prayers are with you.

Dan----Such a beautiful stone for your sister's son Aaron. It looks so nice.

Sonya---No, you are not "losing it"......whenever a move of any kind, or a

change occurs, there seems to be some sort of 'internal upset' to our souls.

I cried & cried when we decided to move from our farmhouse. Still miss it.

Hope you will be feeling better soon.

Mary----Good to see you back at BI. Sorry you are having some  "black hole"

times. May Drew's smiling face warm your heart.

Dee---Thanks for posting the lyrics to the Geo. Harrison song "All Things Pass".

Good song.....good words.

  Take care everyone.

           Daveysmom, Sherry 

 

 

[mikesmomrs]

Mary:  Yes, my email address is sixbyproducts@comcast.net

Lynn:  I love Kayla's new avatar...she is just so very beautiful...you can see the love in her face.

love and peace,  carol  mikesmomrs

[daniellemom]

Carol - I hope it's not to late I sent you a picture, well James did.  Can't wait to hear all about the trip when you all get back.

Sherry - Thanks for the advise it's any change I guess. 

Dee - How is Bridget? 

Love Kayla's new picture!

Claudia - October 24 sounds great!  Can't wait if Bonnie doesn't mind one more person for Jay's celebration.

Sonya (Danielle's Mom)

[heartbeataway]

Sonya,

My special “damson” friend ......

Pinnacle Days is an open celebration (and fund raiser for  ARVD Research.) Everyone is welcome.  

I think I would be willing to drive to NC to pick Claudia up if needed!

Our home is open to anyone ........... and we are about 11 miles from where we spread Jay’s ashes and where Pinnacle Days is held.

This year will be our largest in attendance.  Blessed .........we are blessed!!

Dan,

If I missed Nick’s one year Memorial, I apologize.  I try to keep up but I’m human and grieving like the rest of us and not sure  I want to know if  I forgot to acknowledge the day ........... forgive me if I did.

I do agree with Colleen.   l love the male perspective!!  

Carol,

What does “sixbyproducts” mean?  Just caught my attention .........

Lynn,

The new avatar ......... captured my heart.  I look at the pictures and just have such a hard time imagining they are gone,  Am I the only one this happens too? They look so alive and so full of love .............. how, HOW can they be gone?

Lorri,

Hallelujah! It was only a matter of time!!  And to think, she was Kourtney’s best friend .......

Colleen,


Forgive me for saying this ........ but,  l love who you have “evolved” to be .......

You may never understand that, but I had to say it.

Love you all!

Bonnie

[ericasmom]

Col,

so glad that your Boy enjoyed his camp time, how wonderful to open up his world a bit.

OUr power went out last night, so I was unable to communicate, missed you all.

Love,

dee

[lolynbo]

I AM VERY SORRY FOR YESTERDAYS POST....I SOUNDED LIKE I HAD WAY TOO MUCH GLEE IN MY VOICE, I REALLY SHOULDNT BE OR GET SO EXCEITED OVER SOMEONES MISFORTUNES, BUT DID I SAY:

"DING DONG THE WICKED WITCH IS DEAD, THE WICKED WITCH IS DEAD"

IN A WAY IF FEELS AS IF I GOT A LIL PCS OF KOURTNEY BACK...

 

[mikesmomrs]

Colleen:  I am also so very happy that AJ enjoyed his camping...it likely helped him a lot, possibly to recognize that it is possible for him to have "joy" and not to feel guilty about it.  I imagine that at that age, it would be difficult to reach that point...yay for him, and I know that Brian is cheering for him, as well.  and, yes, what Bonnie says is true, and I love the person you have "evolved" to be...I know that Brian is so very proud of you....

Bonnie:  yes, in many ways, we all are so blessed...that is just so wonderful about Sonya and Claudia coming to Pinnacle days...the mountain will be higher on those three days with all of the joy of sharing!     as for the "sixbyproducts" it means our six grandchildren...which is how many we had at the time we coined the phrase.  We really didn't think any more were coming...then Mike met Sarah.  We haven't figured out yet how to change it to "7" without making a mess out of all of our bill paying, contacts, etc.  Mike and Sarah found a way to "fix" it though...they gave us a Christmas tree ornament of a big red mitten, and across the cuff, it says "sevenbyproducts" and the names are listed on the red mitten in a white circle for each name.  They were like two little kids hiding a secret when they gave it to us. 

can't wait for next week!  less than five days...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:D:D:D:D 

love and peace, carol  mikesmomrs

[mamabets]

For heartbeataway~ Is Claudia back in NC??

Much Love~

mamabets and Danny, her little wink from here, there and everywhere

[mikesmomrs]

Since I am online, I will answer Bets' question re Claudia...no, Bets, Claudia is coming to NC in October for her son, Patrick's, wedding.  I don't know for sure, but from the post, I am assuming that she is going to see Sonya while there, and they are going to Pinnacle days...you are in NC, aren't you? 

love and peace, carol  mikesmomrs

[daveydow1]

        Bear with me.....Still learning to post pics........

       I know you all have been doing that for quite awhile,

      and I've been on BI for quite a while....but I am slooow :?.

       David at age 17.

[mamabets]

For mikesmomrs~ I am in NC, yup~ For how long, not too sure, but this is a good thing...

There is nothing like a wedding to help one along on this journey... I emailed Claudia the other day~ Not sure if she recieved it..xoxo

Below, another miracle "heart" sign from Danny... Jackie had this on her counter in Chicago a few years back after she had cooked a ham dinner.. Cleanup time, and there he was!!!

Much Love~

mamabets and Danny, her little wink from here, there and everywhere 

[katant]

Hi my friends.

It's been awhile.  Anthony has been gone now for 2 years and 7 months.  And to refresh your memory, I had to stop posting due to Anthony's biological non-father's lawyer was coping and pasting my posts together and using them in probate court.

Yes, it is still going on.  And I will not comment on that any futher.

So I feel lately it's just been very hard.  I think about Anthony all the time.  More than usual.  But what's bothering me is I think about the night of the crash trying to remember parts of it and I wake up scared, crying and wonder why I am doing this.

I have been working at a surgi center which has been good.  I come home exhausted but make myself go to the gym still and I have been sleeping pretty good. 

I hope all of you are well and good.  I miss posting and will be again, not alot until the long drawn out fight for money...NOT ME...is over.  It's pretty overwhelming to put a dollar amount on your son, listen to the bullcrap the lawyers say.  It makes me very frustrated and searching for a reason....still.....  why, what do i do ...  just keep, keeping on...for my boy Anthony....HOLLA at ur boy.  Makes me smile every time I say it or hear it.  Love you Ant.

 

 

[shorty16]

My BI Friends

I have heard the staatement "I really like the person you have become?"

I must have been a bit harder before Brian's death and now I am a softer individual.

A mother who lost a 53 year old son said to me once "You may not see it now, but there may be some good that comes out of this."

When she first said that to me I thought "You have got to be crazy!?" "Good coming from the senseless death of my 16 year old son."

Even though I would much rather have my son back, since I am in this situation, I have really tried to be a positive person.  It is so hard and takes alot of work.

Thanks

Colleen

[shorty16]

Ant

I too had court dealings and we too had to put a dollar amount on our son's death.

We were lucky, The driver's family had good insurance and we decided not to pursue any further amount past the insurance claim.  If we would have pursued more money, we would have had to air facts about Brian and the other boys that are better left unsaid.  The money was not worth the mud slinging.

Take care, Ant it does end.  I am suprised this has gone on for over 2 years?

Did the court hearings start later?  Ours was over in 10 months.

I am praying for you and yours

Colleen 

[ericasmom]

Hi Kat, I am sorry to say that I do not remember you from 2 years ago, and I am sorry that you are dealing with all of the grief plus the courts. Colleen, your case was finished quickly as far as court cases go, our went on and on, and finally, as we were facing the 3.5 year mark  of Eri's death, the whole legal aspect ended. I was grateful at that point, but happy that we pursued as we had. It was very ahrd on Michael, Eri's adn JOn's Dad, to let the legal stuff end, it felt to him the last way to keep her near. I hope to get to know you when you are able to join us here again in freedom. It's ugly isn't it that someone would use your heartfelt comments here for thier gain in court. Ugly.

How old was Anthony when he was killed? My girl was 19. She would be 25 now. Time passes even when we don't quite know how.

Peace to all,

dee

[katant]

Dee,

It's been 2 1/2 years of court.  The person who hit and killed Anthony is serving 10 years but is up for parole in April 2011.  I don't think of that person much, she did what she did.  Ruined alot of families including her own 2 childrens.

Anthony would be turning 21 in January.  He had so many plans.  Anthony was coming home from work on December 15th 2006.  He had just punched out of work at 7:25.  The woman who hit and killed him had been at a Christmas Party put on by the company she works for with an OPEN BAR...for the entire time of the party.  It started at 1pm and ended at around 5pm.  Her and friends went to another bar in the same complex and drank until 7:30pm.  She left the bar at almost the same time Anthony left work.  He was hit at 7:33pm.  He never saw her coming.

Some things I am grateful for and that was one.  He did not suffer. He was not in pain.  But he is gone.  My only son.  He was my life. 

Part of the legal side I can talk about because it's already been draged through the courts is Anthony's non-father was not a part of his 18 years.  And showed up at the wake with his lawyer's.  Since then, they have tried to have me removed as the Adminstrator of Anthonys Estate...funny I know...and are sticking by the current law on the books...50% split of any monies of any settlement.  That is something a judge will decide.  I have had to stick this through for Anthony, me and the millions of single moms and dads out there doing our best to bring up our boys and girls in this scary world. 

We have been dealt something that nobody understands.  I can't.  How things happen and why.  I guess all we can do is get through each day with a purpose.  Mine is to do good for other people, continue to keep my son's spirit alive and always with me.  Unfortuanly there are many players in the death of my son and it's been torture but something I have to continue till the end.

No matter what happens with the "money" shitty part of this is money is just that money.  It does not make you happy, it does not make you sad.  Us losing our children is something NOTHING can replace.  People try and look for a reason to get money, thinking it will fill a void.  It doesn't.  

I am told all the time how "strong I am", "how proud Anthony is of you", "I could not imagine myslef in your shoes", "Look at the good your doing", and it goes on and on.  It's something that at the end of the day when I go to sleep at night, none of that matters.  I say goodnight to Anthony and say, "Another day without you, made it through, one more day closer to seeing you again."

It's hard to get up everyday.  It's hard to go to work everyday.  It's hard to laugh with friends.  It's hard to be around crowds.  It's hard with just day to day things.  Thank God for my family.  And my dreams of Anthony.

I hope Claudia sees my posts...I miss you. 

[hotsauce]

hello everyone, i hope all is well.

hi Kathleen (Katant), i am new to the group, but i would like to say how sorry i am about your son Anthony.  it's not bad enough that you lost your child, the court system does not always work for the good.  i hope things get better for you.

mary ann(hotsauce)

 

i just can back from the first Compassionate friends walk in Wilmington, Delaware.  the national conference was held in portland, oregon, and since not to many of the delaware group went, they decided to have a "First" walk here.  it was a nice event.  it was raining very hard this morning, but the walk started at 11AM and just before the walk it stopped raining, we had the walk, released balloons for each child and someone even had a few butterfiles to release.  just as the group was starting to break up it stated raining again.  i'm sure not all of you care, but i thought i would at least share some news with you. 

i hope you are have a great day, i know my Brian would have been glad to see me walk the two miles

thank you for listing

mary ann

[mysonrich]

Mary Ann, it's good to hear that you found a support system.   I haven't attended Compassionate Friends meetings/gatherings but may look into their annual events . I did have an appointment once with a grief counselor. When I told him that I didn't know how he could help me live my life without Rich , ( my perspective at the time) he flippantly said, Yes, I can. now, I may have taken it the wrong way but never went back.

 

I do care Mary Ann.

 

Rich at Christmas dinner digging into the ham. I'll never forget the time we went to Red Lobster and he ate 98 all you could eat shrimp. The pasta dish did him in. HE didn't beat the record, a record made by a small woman we were told. My boy could eat! He had a very physical job. Auto Body tech, he loved it at the time.

 

Betsy, mysonRich

[hotsauce]

Besty, thank you for the kind words.  i like the new picture of your son Rich.

if you do go the "TCF" group, bring a lot of tissues.  the group does help, but at times i go home more depressed, to know that there are so many parents out there missing children. 

mary ann

[shorty16]

Mary Ann

I agree with your description of CF.  I went 3 times and each time new members and each time I was depressed for weeks.

CF abviously helps people and is a wonderful group, but for me, it was too hard.

I meet one on one with someone from a group called Stevens Ministry.  It is a religous-based group that listens and listens and is one on one.  The women I meet with also lost a son, age 53 with 3 children.  He loss is different than mine, but also the same. (If that is possible).

And then there is BI - My life line

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever

[ericasmom]

Mary Ann, I am so glad that you took part in the walk. While it sometimes is more than our hearts can manage, meeting so many others walking in similar footfalls, it is also comforting to become a part of something bigger than we are.

My hope to you,

dee

[shorty16]

Katant

You go girl!!! My sister is a single parent and fights for all the child support she deserves.

I wish you the best in your court case - ans I hope justice prevails.

When I hear you talk about your days, it is like I hear myself.  I too try to be a positive and helpful as possible, but the pain underneath is really something that will never go away.  It will always be there.

Thinking of you

Colleen

[hotsauce]

Dee, thank you for the kind words.  life is not like it used to be.  it's seems to get harder each day. 

Colleen, thank you,  where is Stevens Ministry? there is nothing in delaware to go for grief counseling.  i did go to a grief counseler and she did help, but she said i should come twice a week or at least once a week,  i would love to but who can afford that now days the ways things are.

everyone else, have a good night and for all going away please be safe.  you are  all in my prayers even if my faith right now is being tested .

mary ann

[heartbeataway]

Katant,

Wouldn't you be due child support from the non-father for the 18 years he wasn't involved?

He still had responsibilities and the law is sharp when it comes to child support. Men serve time for skipping out on paying.

He walked into the funeral home with his lawyer?  That tells you something about both he and his lawyer!

Wow!  That would have been tough!

Stay strong!

Bonnie

[daveydow1]

Hello Kat,

I am sorry for your loss of your dear son, Anthony. I may have been taking

a 'breather' from BI whenever you posted (I've been here for 6 yrs.). I am

sorry that you are ensnarled in all the court stuff......judges, lawyers, courts,----

it all gets to be so very impersonal and mechanical. I do hope that it will all

work out for you soon. Your son was so loved, and then killed by a drunk

driver. My son, David, was killed by a semi truck by the driver "sleeping while

driving"---that's what I call it. I hope that some meaningful punishment was

handed down to the drunk driver in your case. The driver who killed our son

got a slap on the wrist, and sympathy from the prosecutor.----. I pray that this legal

stuff will be settled for you soon. Somehow, it just stalls our progress in the

grief process. Peace & comfort to you, friend. 

[daveydow1]

Betsy--richsmom----I have not gone to any CF meetings, although there is

one in our town, I am told. Somehow, I felt it would be too risky. Just don't

think it would be for me. Not saying it does not help people. I prefer BI to

any organized meetings. BI is here 24/7.......a big help from all here....for

me it's a lifeline. Hope you will be feeling a bit better. Peace & prayers.

  Daveysmom,  Sherry    

[mikesmomrs]

Katant:  I kind of remember your earlier posting, but only very vaguely.  I think we have had one or two others on here who had to stop posting for legal reasons, as well.  There are some here now who have had to endure that extra pain that the legal system can bring.   I am so very sorry that you've had to go through all of this, and for your loss of your precious son, Anthony.  This journey has been a long one for you, complicated by other things beyond your control.  I am so very sorry you had to deal with the "non-father's" showing up at Anthony's services with a lawyer...it is just unreal what people can do, and I can't imagine the added pain this whole process has brought to you.  I hope all goes well, and you are out of this part of your nightmare soon. 

Mary ann:  I am so glad that you did the walk...I know that it took a lot to do it, but we all do care that you did, and please never hesitate to share things with us, that is what we do here...we share, the good and the bad, and that helps all of us.  I wish we had known ahead of time, so we could have sent our good wishes, but our thoughts are with each other all the time, so even without knowing of your walk, we were there, and I know that Brian was there with you, also. 

Sherry:  I love the pic of Davey...good for you!  It turned out great...thanks so much for sharing. 

Bets:  Thanks for the picture of the heart "gift" from Danny....I guess he wanted you to know that he was there with you, sharing that ham!  On the first Valentine's day after Mike passed, we went out to eat, and for dessert, at the last minute, we had strawberry shortcake...one of his favorites.  Just as I was getting up to leave, I reached over for that "last spoonful" of goodness, and dripped a blot of strawberry juice on my shirt...this was the shape it took...

when we got home, because of bad icing on the driveway surface, I had to stop at the bottom of the driveway and was right by the tree on which we had a wreath hanging for Mike for Christmas.  It had snowed so much we couldn't go out and retrieve it after Christmas, so it was still there, cirlced by lights as before.  When I looked up to see if the lights were still burning (as I did every night when I would get home), the wind had blown some of them off, and they formed a perfect heart shape, glimmering in the dark...As I sat there in the driveway watching them, I took a pic with my cell, and then called Mike's sister to tell her about them.  While I told her, they blinked on and off three times, and then they blinked off, and didn't come on again.  His sister and I said that the three blinks were "I love you" in his own morse code!

 Sorry, everybody, that my post was so long, but I wanted to share these pics and the stories that go with them...I am just too verbose, I guess...oh, well, that's just me. 

Thank you everyone, for sending me pics of your beautiful kids for the meeting in MN on Friday...I will be sure to share pics when we get back!!!  PS:  Katant:  if you wish to include a pic of your son, Anthony, please email one to me at sixbyproducts@comcast.net, but I will need it tonight---and anyone else who may have forgotten that wanted to send one.   

love and peace,  carol  mikesmomrs

ps:  Hubby is watching and I am listening to a show on the educational channel (Fund-raising time) called "Magic Moments---50's Pop" and boy, does it bring back the memories..."Love is a Many Splendored Thing," Tennessee Waltz," "Love Me Tender,"  wow!  My age is showing!!!

[ericasmom]

Mary Ann, we always love to hear how each others days are going, even if you feel it is not a big deal, or it is not something others might be interested in, we are. Why? Because we know how big a deal each new day is, because we know how 'friggin' long each day can be, and because we are equally confused by long days and yet time passing quickly. Life can not be what it used to be, and right now it is far too early to see where your life and energy can best be spent, but here you are in the Twilight Zone of Grief. It is a place, a time and a setting all its own. All I can do to encourage you here, is to look at our posts and the dates that we all joined and see that we made it through that very difficult time that you are now in. There is nothing easy or smooth going on in your world right now, but I swear, it will get better. I promise you that some days making a damn peanut butter sandwich seemed too big a job, exhausting in fact, but by God I made the sandwich and felt that somehow it was a step. I mean it, tiny things that we used to not even know we were doing because it was automatic, become hard to fathom. So never worry about posting anything too small or seemingly insignificant, because it simply isn't too small or insignificant to us. We are your partners now so feel free to just talk your way through a day if you like. WE will not only listen, but cheer you on.

And Carol, shame on you for apologizing for being verbose, which I don't think you are in the least. I love your stories, always touched with that golden edge of magic. The hearts made me cry joyous tears, loved those stories. Thanks for them. Never shorten them.

Sherry, you are becoming a regular photo wizard posting pics of that handsome Boy. Are you experiencing the heat we have now? 90's and 90% humidity? Wow, very hot. It was hard last night without the power and no air, but then I think, hey, we didn't have air conditioners until I was 13 years old. We managed just fine. Guess I am spoiled.

John and I went to see the movie Julie and Julia last night. It was FABULOUS! Go see it if you know Julia Child at all, it was such a dear movie really, and funny. It has been a long time since I have gone to the movies and come out feeling so very good. My husband loved it as well. Inspiring.

Ok, going for a walk, talk with you before bedtime.

dee

[mysonrich]

Sherry, finally the headache is gone. It turned into a eyeball headache, so, I made like a vampire and stayed out of light.  Crossing fingers. Nice job and great pic of David.

[summergirl]

Hello to all - it is 8 pm here and I am TIRED - when I came on I realized there are 16 pages of reading to catch up on and I was like "WHAT" - I can not possibly read all of them tonight so I will try my best to catch up over the next couple of days.  I am sorry that I missed birthdays and angelversary's.

My week at Gin Beach with the girls was absolutely wonderful, sunny, hot, campfires, lots of laughs, some tears and yes a few cocktails. I took many walks and found lots of beach glass - one that is aqua color and the perfect shape of a heart!! Am going to have it set for a necklace. Took alot of pics so will post tomorrow night after I download them to a disc.  Barry did not come until Friday so I was there Sunday - Thursday with just the girls. I can not remember a time when I was so relaxed but I certainly missed talking to all of you - am going to invest in router for my laptop so I can use it when I am not at home - I have the wireless here but when you are out of range it is hard to find someone to hook up to. Need to check with Best Buy.

Anyway just wanted to let you know I am home and how much I have missed you all, my family, my friends.  I love you all and promise to try to catch up as best as I can. Will talk tomorrow, right now my fingers are tired as well as the rest of my body. Much peace and restful sleep - Kathy

[homeschoolmom]

My older daughter, Brianna, just yelled at her little sister, Karyn, "A little more respect, girl!!"  Not sure what they were fussing about, but made me smile.

Had three sets of unanticipated guests today for a gerand total of 8.  Luckily we had made extras and had enough on hand to supplement, so everyone had their fill.  It felt so good to know that though I feel like such a bad mother (more on that later), I can still do something right.  I love cooking and am always experimenting, and really like to entertain, so...today was a blessing for me.

One of the ladies who dropped by with an old friend of mine from 20 years ago (I'm 33), had worked at the orphanage we got Akiem from.  She walked in and then took her glasses off and leaned in to get a better look.  I wondered what she was doing until she exclaimed, "Akiem?  Is that you?"  Small world, isn't it? We didn't know each other and she didn't even know Akiem was here...

As to my "bad mommy" comment, my hubby told me that I was "terrible" now compared to me as a mommy before Rohan's death.  All I ever wanted to be was a wife and a mother. I understand that it's been hard for him to see me like this for "so long," but I felt like he had hit me physically.  I already feel like I could have prevented Rohan's death, and didn't- afterall I WAS right there mere feet away from him.  I know I am not as fun, or playful, and I don't do as much with them, but I think he was just reacting because it's showing up how LITTLE he is really involved with them. Or maybe he is right... It is so difficult to give these kids your all, while your heart feels ripped to shreds.  How do others do it? I guess tomorrow I get up and try again.  Today was a good day though...

Praying you all had good days today, and more than a glimmer of hope-

Blessings,

Shelly, Rohan's Mama

[ericasmom]

My Sweet Little Shelly, I have not been 33 for 20 years, so really, when Eri died six years ago, I did not have little ones to take care of. I did not have to cook, did, cause I like to as well,  or make beds or make sure teeth get brushed, or any of that. Most of us did not have the requirements that you have because of being young and having young children. We all think that you are pretty amazing to handle all that is on your plate.

I take offense at that comment your husband made, it is not fair to be told this unless you two were having a discussion where you each were telling one another what you miss in each other since Rohan died. I hate that the defensive parts of your Husband are coming out to you in order to protect something in him, perhaps protecting his guilt over the death, his guilt in not having a job, and he does not know a healthy way to release this. Saying this is like being hit, I felt the slam all the way over here. I am sorry my little one, I wish that I could come to mediate, to help your Husband to use his words in fair and appropriate ways. Of course you aren't the same Momma now. NOt only did you lose your Sweet Child,  you gained a Son that you must work with and nurture. You need nurture too Shelly. That is what we will do for you from far away however, virtual nurturing. I think that the way many men,( though not our Men from BI and I am forever grateful for their ability to be different), many men were raised to think that your job really is to take care of kids, home, and them. If he is angry at anything, it may be coming out in a defensive way because he is not allowing himself near the grief. I think it may become increasingly important to seek some therapy for the whole family, including the kids, so that he does not feel singled out, and then maybe the therapist can guide him into his grief, and into subsequent healthier living. I don't mean to prescribe, I just worry that this attitude unchecked, can only be another strain for all of you.

My prayers and my love, and please forgive me if I came on too strong.

DEE

[ericasmom]

Kathy, thrilled that you had a great week at the beach with girlfriends. Take your time reading and fill us in as you are able.

[homeschoolmom]

Dee, your words are always a blam to my soul...I just feel so beaten up...

[4everjoeysmom]

Kathy (Ant's Mom), HI!!!!!!!!!!!! I have missed you too, and truthfully have thought and prayed about you SO OFTEN. I'm so sorry the court stuff is still dragging and non-father is still thinking he is entitled. What a crock! But it's great to hear the job is going well and you're getting good exercise and activity.

I think many here don't remember you because you mostly posted on the teenager thread back when. Doesn't seem like that one gets much conversation anymore these days. I am so glad to see your post and Anthony's sweet face. Hope you get ti post more often. You don;t have to get too deep with the court stuff, as I know they are snakes and like to twist what you post here. But please do join in more as you feel up to it, just to share your heart and boy with the family here. Are you still at your mom's place? How's that going? Looking forward to catching up.

Shelly, I'm so sorry you were hit with the "terrible" word. It's hard enough to get through each day, trying so hard not to neglect all the little details of motherhood, but especially when the winds knocked out of the sails and the heart is broken because on of those children is "just gone". It would be great of more encouragement and help could be given rather than the negativity. HUGS!! It will get better in time...not the missing Sweet Rohan, but the mothering of your remaining children.

Sonya, Whheeeeeeeeeeeee!! Cool!!! I'll be praying and looking forward to it!

Bets, I did get your e-mail, and THANK YOU! Yes! I will be in NC for my son's wedding, and looks like Pinnacle Days after that, and either before or after some time with my family in the midwest. I know you are down just North of Charlotte, last I recall. Don't know if I'll make it that far southwest in NC. I think I'll be going to Columbia, SC--but usually go down I-95 to get there. But maybe we can get a phone call in, so I can at least hear the voice of Danny's MamaBets.

Kathy, (Jess's Mom)--so glad you made it home safely and had a good time hanging with the girls.

Love and Blessings ALL, xoxoxo ~Claudia (4EverJoeysMom)

[ericasmom]

Claudia, remember if you are heading through the midwest, we are just outside Chicago if you need a place to lay your weary bones. I would love to have you rest here if the timing is right. I know we have some Michiganders in October at some point, but I am unsure as to when. I will find out.

dee

Shell,

do you have a Mom nearby, I seem to remember some Mom talk? Can she come to stay with yu for a while or you with her so that you have someone watching over you giving you some hugs?

[mikesmum]

[align=left]Ahh grandbabies.  Miss Emily (10) had a bad day last Friday.  Tears with no real reason, she just wanted to spend Saturday with her mum and grandma.  A great day looking at bridal gear (mum's getting married in about 2yrs but hey).  She stayed overnight Saturday.  Sunday morning as we were driving out I noticed some idiot had ploughed into the fence around out cemetry.  Without missing beat Em said "they must have been dying to get in".  For a split second she held her breath, I couldn't help it I just laugh....she made a funny!! [/align]

[align=left]Kat - Yep I remember you and Ant.  Amazing how the legal system can drag things out!!  Like you say, less said about the court action the better.  I remember the downloads presented in court from my company![/align]

[align=left]Last I heard you were teaching as well - how is that going?  Also the puppy, do you still have that cute faced pup?  I know how much Ant was your life, it came thru with every word.  There is a group of us coming to MN this coming weekend...should be a hoot finally meeting those who were there in the darkest of times.....Hope your gym workouts keep you strong![/align]

[align=left]Maryanne - Don't apologise for posting ever please.  CF is something that works for some and not for others.  The walk sounds like a good beginning and the balloons always something I love to release thinking Mike and all those from here are waiting to catch.  [/align]

[align=left]You might even notice some of our 'news' of late is unrelated and quite indelicate, but really it keeps us in contact with those who get it.....Take Care, cause we all do care about where you are.[/align]

[align=left]Betsey - It would have been the pasta, filling stuff!  Love the picture, the changes in our boys over the years - love it all.[/align]

[align=left]Carol - Would love to say I don't know any of those songs, but the lyrics are filling my head as we speak!![/align]

[align=left]Kathy - sounds like the beach was just what you needed.  Would love to see the beach glass jewellery when you get it done.[/align]

[align=left]Well people I am about to pack the last of my things for the trip.  I am staying overnight at the airport tonight then off Tues 10.15am AU EST.  [/align]

[align=left]Am bringing a DVD of Mike done in the November before he died.  Anyone else with something similar - bring it on....[/align]

[align=left]Val - hope you are reading, have sent PM and email hoping you are okay.[/align]

[align=left]It is 0 days, 12 hours, 53 minutes and 32 seconds until Tuesday, 11 August 2009 (Melbourne time)   [/align]

[daveydow1]

Carol & Dee----Thanks for the vote of confidence, and kind words

 in my posting pics. I've noted each step so I can post again sometime.

Betsy---I'm glad that your headache has subsided. It is good that you

stayed out of the light which can trigger even more pain. Peace & comfort.

Kathy----So glad that you had a nice time at the beach----you deserved a

nice getaway to refresh your sould.

Shelly----You are right---unkind words can injure just like a physical attack.

I'm sorry that you are having this trouble. As Dee said...your husband may

be lashing out because of guilt or pain that he is feeling. However, that does

not help either of you. I'm not a counselor, so I won't say more.......just that

you are in my prayers, friend. Peace.

Dee,----Oh.......HOT and HUMID today....in the 90s here. Yes, I guess I am spoiled

in regards to a/c also. Before moving here, we had no air conditioning in the

old farmhouse, and the upstairs bedrooms were like an oven sometimes. I

remember one hot summer sleeping with a large wet bath towel spread over

me. As I get older, I seem to tolerate the heat less & less...YIKES.:X  Hope your

power stays on from now on. Was it caused by a storm, or a "brownout' ?

Get a good night's rest tonight....I plan on it for sure.

           Daveysmom,  Sherry 

[homeschoolmom]

Mom is nearby, (at least while we are still here in Jamaica), but I think she gets uncomfortable when she can't make everything right for me.  When she's around, I find myself expending the little energy I have to put on my "people face" rather than being able to relax and just "let it hang..."

Shelly

[ericasmom]

Beautiful traveling my Trudi Friend. Traveling Mercies as my fav author says.

See you soon, have a blast and take it all in.

Shell, I certainly get that, the last thing you need is to have to put on a face. Hard situation, more prayers.

Sherry, just our little neighborhood, the bigger part of town doesn't go out. We are somehow on the grid that gets knocked out. Hot but rain tomorrow to coool it off some.

love,

dee

[lolynbo]

I WILL BE IN JAMACIA AUG 26TH...LIL NERVOUSE NEVER BEENT HERE B4...HOPING WE GET SOME $$ JOBS COMING IN SO WE CAN PARASAIL IN JAMACIA BUT IF NOT...(THEY BOYS WILL JUST POUT)...

YALS TRIP IS SO SOON, I BET EVERYONE IS EXCEITED..IM EXCEITED FOR YAL...

I GOT MORE BACKPACKS TODAY, MONTYS MOM AND SISTER BOUGHT 4, AND LOADED EM UP...

BONNIE YOU WILL BE GLAD TO KNOW ONE OF YOURS (THE SATCHEL ONE ) WENT TO A LIL 3RD GRADE BOY THAT HIS MOM WENT OFF TO JAIL FOR 14YRS AND HIS DADDY DOESNT HAVE MUCH MONEY (or even a job) SO HE WAS SO EXCEITED AND WHEN HE WENT HOME TO SHOW HIS DADDY, HIS DADDY CRIED....(HE IS RELATED TO KIMBERLYS XHUBBY CODY, ITS HIS X STEP SISTER WITH THE DRUG PROB)..ANYWAYS THESE 2 LIL KIDS ARE NOW IN THE SYSTEM...VERY SAD STORY...CODY CRIED TOO..THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR DONATION..

 

[homeschoolmom]

Lorrie,

Went parasailing in Key West, and did the zipline canopy tour here in Jamaica.  Pretty cool, but the price for visitors is, like you said, $$$  Look up Chukka Cove Adventure Tours and look up Jamaica.  They have some pretty cool tours...the horseback riding in the sea, the dune buggy etc... Happy cruising and remind me when you are closer to Jamaica.  Not sure if I still want to be here, but would love to meet you guys...will you be in Ocho Rios or Montego Bay?  We're 90 mins from Ochie, and 60 mins from Mo-Bay.

Shelly, Rohan's Mama

[lostwoher]

Have  a fun safe trip all you travelers! Feel my hug to each and everyone of you while together.

Got my tat done yesterday. It turned out beautifully! Will post a pic in the next couple days.

Counting down the days as well but for a different reason

Thinking of you all. Love and Peace.

Lynn

[lolynbo]

WE WILL BE IN MONTEGO BAY..JUST FOR THAT DAY OF COURSE...I WILL TRY THEM FOR THE PARASAILN..IF MONTY DONT GET TO DO THAT HE WILL PROB BE UPSET..

DO YOU HAVE ANY TIPS FOR US, WHAT TO WATCH OUT FOR OR ANYTHING..

I DONE WARNED ALL YAL ABOUT ACTIN UP ON THE BI REUNION AND BEING ON UTUBE...LOL...OR EVEN COPS...I JUST DONT WANNA SEE THAT..

[homeschoolmom]

Watch out for overeager vendors...  Don't venture off the beaten path alone. Montego bay, or Mo-Bay as the locals say, is really the center of tourism on the island, so a ship coming in is standard fare.  Just say, "no thank you" and that should be enough.

Parasailing is nice and peaceful for me... and Monty will enjoy it as long as he's not afraid of heights.

Chukka Cove has rates for cruisers and I think booking in advance qualifies you for discounts.  They will pick you up and drop you off...

P.S. Make sure you get some jerk chicken...

[mpsmom]

Hi to all, we just got back from 3 days camping in the Kaibab National Forest, not at a campground, just pulled in to the forest and set up camp, it was a very cool place.  Quiet for the most part, no neighbors, the little dogs had a great time, Larry and I are enjoying the quiet, no stress, rest.  I pulled the food out of the motorhome fridge and the dirty clothes and that is all I have done. 

I just tried to read about 6 pages of postings, I am sorry I will not be able to catch up.  I have a million projects to complete before I fly to Minneapolis.  My prayers to all of you, I am so looking forward to the reunion.  Lorrie, you have a blast on your cruise.  Bethany and I did jungle zip line tour in Mexico, it was great..... not good if you are afraid of heights (we were not at all) , but we absolutely loved it......I will post pictures of us zip-lining someday.  parasailing is wonderful too, Larry would never do it, and when Bethany wanted to -- it was too windy, but I did it another time and loved it !

It is almost 8:30 , I still have 3, 4 or 5 loads to bring upstairs from the motorhome, and need to kick back.  All my love to all my BI family members.

Marcia   Bethany's Mom Forever

 

[mysonrich]

Lorri, me and RIch went parasailing in NC. Its not scary once you get up there, its just the thought of being up there.Don't forget my postcard ok.

 

Lynn, beautiful picture of Kayla. Are you taking some time off this Wednesday for her angleversary (sp)?

I saw this hawk while visiting a friend( stopped by since I was riding by though I hadn't heard from her since Rich died,) friend? anyway, I wrote to the experts becasue i wasn't sure what I saw. The hawk I saw was  more silver/gray and he looked right at me. he was a site to see as I waited at a stop sign. I heard a racket and looked up and there he was.Cooper's Hawk.

 

Betsy,mysonRich

 

 

 

 

[4everjoeysmom]

My husband leads some of our teams and guests up to the zip lines for adventure fun when they visit us in Ecuador. So, anyone wanting to come down here, if you want adventure, we can handle that! --Zip lines, waterfall repelling, hiking, cables car across the canopy, whatever your heart desires...

Lorri, Shelly's right about the eager vendors in Jamaica. Just wave them off and keep walking if you aren't interested. Also remember, if you are interested in anything, be sure to negotiate. There is always a price, and then a price for tourists--which is usually jacked up. If you can;t get something for the price you want to pay, start walking away. usually they will deal with you and come down in price. Also, your cruise ship will have packages that you can buy for the adventure tours. Stick with whatever they are selling rather than going off to find your own adventure, because 1) the adventures they arrange are coordinates with the ship's schedule, and 2) you never know what you're going to get for sure if you try and do it on your own and are unfamiliar with the territory--including transportation to and from the adventure outing, which is also arranged by the cruise/adventures coordinator. You don't want to get mixed up in a bad situation, and you sure don't want to miss your port call to re-board the ship and sail away. Don't want to be seeing YOU on COPS either!! LOL!!!

Everyone going to MN, Godspeed! Have a wonderfully blessed time and enjoy each other. Thinking of you all...

Love & Hugs, Claudia

[briansdad]

[user=16030]4everjoeysmom[/user] wrote:

Everyone going to MN, Godspeed! Have a wonderfully blessed time and enjoy each other. Thinking of you all...

Love & Hugs, Claudia

 

I want pictures !!!!!!!