Loss of an Adult Child

[mysonrich]

Matt,  remembering you and your mom today.

[ericasmom]

Carol, so cool that you and Bonnie will meet n Chicago, very cool. SOAR as Mike would have you do.l

Kath, yep, like Amanda said too, walking in that door with your Boy, and leaving him there in the care and guidance of others, not easy. As a teacher I know it isn't easy, but as a MOM< boy do I know. Your taking Tav to 2nd grade is also a mark of time, that seasonal issue that knocks me over sometimes. Time moving even though we don't understand how, why. Tavian going to his Momma's same school is also bittersweet, but certainly wonderful that you have the memories of both of them there, and when teachers remember the parent, wow! Nice. My teaching now where Jon and Eri attended is like that for me. These were the hallways and classrooms they walked and laughed through. Prayers for a good school year for all of the Children we here at BI love and care for.

Greg, when does your Grandgirl go back?

Kay, when is your first day?

Husband and I are in Minneapolis, visiting some family last eve and lunching wth them before we go on to the Raddison. We stayed in the downtown area last night, still hangingout drinking coffee.

My love to each of you,

dee

[mysonrich]

Mary Ann, I was alone after Rich died. After I came back from NJ/SE PA, I came back to a town I have only lived in for 4.5 months. I walked a lot. I knew damn well I was out of my mind, I walked. If I needed milk, I walked. The hills around here just about did me in but I kept walking. I sat on the deck a lot. It was winter, I didn't care. It gave the neighbor's something to talk about. :-)

 

I still sit on the deck a lot.

I sent you a DM.

 

Betsy, MysonRich

 

Rich, age 15.

[cameronsmom1]

Well I finally made it out to the cemetary and fixed up Braydens site. Here is a pic!

[cameronsmom1]

Closer view

[mysonrich]

Amanda, I can see that Brayden is loved and cherished . Is that a windchime I see?

[hotrod]

Matt

Stay close to your Mom today.  You are both in my thoughts

[cameronsmom1]

Betsy, yes that is a windchime. That was a gift given to me at the funeral from some co-workers and it is and angel windchime. I thought it would look great there.

Thanks to everyone that commented on the picture, Cameron really enjoyed being able to help.

[hotsauce]

Dear Bonnie and Dee,

thank you for thinking about me, i just can't seem to find the energy or the right thoughts to write anything.  I miss my son Brian, and being alone dosen't help.

i miss all the things Brian and I once did and now i find myself just doing nothing.

it is so hard, as i know you all know, but just sitting here talking to the walls and dogs, at least i don't hurt any bodies feeling is i say something off the wall.

thank you again for caring

love and hugs

mary ann

[ericasmom]

Amanda, beautiful photo and a lovely site for your sweet Baby. Your Big boy is gorgeous, that big school boy.

Betsy, I too walked and walked, I always have but it is advice I have given to others too, to keep your body moving as the brain and heart work best when we move I think, it allows the senses to take in the fresh air the birds songs, all that is around you. So Mary Ann, being alone is so hard if you are lonely, would walking help? You needn't feel like you need to talk here, we just like to check in to make sure that you are as okay as you can be. You of course are worn from sadness, of course. HEre we are holding you all the time.

Bets, love the photo of your young Man.

love to all,

dee

[daveydow1]

 

   For Gerry......

      Thinking of you today.....your dear son, MATT'S ANGEL DAY. May the

     love you have for him, and he for you, warm your heart with beautiful

     memories, and his smile from heaven.  Peace & prayers.

     Daveysmom, Sherry

[daveydow1]

Dear MaryAnn......I am so sorry you are in the 'blackhole' of pain, despair,

and longing for your dear son, Brian. I know that you will always miss him,

and mourn. This is the life we are in now. It does get softer in time, but at

this early stage for you......statements like this may not help much. I hope that you

are able to talk with someone, and also keep coming back to BI where everyone

 understands, firsthand, the pain you are going through.

Peace & prayers, friend.

Daveysmom, Sherry

[hotsauce]

Sherry,

you are so right, i just don't want to live anymore, it hurts so damn bad.  i miss him so much.  i know you all have lost children, but i still feel so alone.  i know i can talk here, but it is so hard to write what you feel.  that least for me.

my faith is shot, i don't believe in any thing any more.  if there is a god why would he do this to us. i know we were taught (in some religions) that god took jesue away from mary, but she did get to see he again after three days, were are our three days?

not to hurt any one feelings, but i miss he and want to be with him so much. i am just so down nothing seems to be helping me.

mary ann

(hotsauce)

[4everjoeysmom]

Mary Ann, Even with my faith, I went through a time of despair and deep sadness, just wanting to die and be relieved from my pain. I wasn't suicidal or anything. It was just a place where my heart was at the time... nothing eased the pain, and I just wanted to lie down and not take another breath, it hurt so badly. When the shock wears thin and away, and especially when in such an isolated place (not just in the grief, but in the geography), it's so dark and lonely.

I started to plug in DVD's and also started to read the Chronicles of Narnia. Both were escapes for me. Though temporary, having those things to carry me away from my thoughts here and there helped so much. Like you, I was in a place with no support system and not really knowing anyone. It was difficult, but I made it through the darkest times. I know you too. It just doesn't feel like it right now. Hold tight to whatever gives you a moment's peace here and there, and take in as much as you can. Carry it from breath to breath and don't let go of knowing that your son lives on through you. You are the one who will continue his legacy here, when you are through the darkest of times and when you find bits of strength returning. Until then relish in love that connects you both STILL and hold on tight. The waves are so strong and rough, but the tides will not always be so devastating. Promise!! LOVE & HUGS!!! ~Claudia (4EverJoeysMom)

[briansdad]

Mary Ann,

There is not a person on this site that hasn't talked exactly as you are now.Please note that we are still here. Living life as best we can. Stay in touch with us when you get low. We're here to listen.Don't give in to your grief.It will become where some day you'll smile again.Believe me you will. I miss Brian every bit as much as the day he died but I now consider myself a survivor. Be patient with yourself you can survive to.

Greg

[mpsmom]

Gerry,

Carol (Mike), Marcia (Bethany, Colleen (Brian), Trudi (Mike, and Bonnie (Jason) are thinking of you on this 14th year of your beautiful son being an angel.

May his light shine upon you

The BI Reunion Group in Minn right now.

[katant]

Dee.....Anthony had a way about him.  He was always smiling, that grin.  He was always calling me many times a day, whether at work or if he was with friends just to say..."hey mom, what r u doing??"  and it was always the same talk...I would say..."nothing bud, what time will you be home, or what's going on...and I love you." and he always, always said I love you before he hung up the phone...or before he went to be he would yell...momsss love u.  If I didn't answer right away he would yell louder....mommmssss....luv uu....every day.  every night.

He would always call his nana, his poppie to check on them.  He would check on the neighbors.  He friends moms loved when he was over their house when they came home from the grocery store, he would carry everything in for them and of course ask for a snack.  He played hockey for 10 years.  At the time he was killed, 3 weeks from his 18th birthday, he was 6 foot, 190 pounds...my big boy.  So funny, heart of gold and the best hugs.  God I miss those hugs so much.

Today I was at work today and something just hit me and I started crying.  Then I got a phone call for something I need to do next week.  It's like I get these warning signs or feelings.  My friend came into the locker room and gave me a big hug and I felt okay, but I am tired today.  really tired. 

Tommorrow is 2 years and 8 months.  I miss him.

Thank you and hope you all have a safe weekend...kathy

[lostwoher]

 Gerry, just wanted to let you know I am/was thinking of you today. May you feel the precense of Matt today as much as I felt Kayla just 2 days ago. Thinking of you

Lynn

[lostwoher]

A reminder to everybody to use the chat room Dan created to use. Its really nice and easy to use. Good job Dan!

http://neverlosefaith.com/chat

oops- I forgot the password to use. Dan, help please! I have it saved on my pc so I dont use it

Thinking of everybody at the reunion as well as those who didnt get to attend.

Lynn

[hotsauce]

Claudia, thank you for your comment.

 

Greg, thank you for you comment also, it is nice to hear something from a man's point of view.  i always wonder why men think that they have to have this strong front all the time.  that is one thing i miss about my Brian, he was rough and tuff and he also have a sweet loving side about him.  he just knew what to say when i was down. he could always make me smile even when he was fighting for his life. he hated it when i worried so much.  i miss my son and BEST FRIEND.

mary ann

[nicksdad]

[user=23331]lostwoher[/user] wrote:

A reminder to everybody to use the chat room Dan created to use. Its really nice and easy to use. Good job Dan!

http://neverlosefaith.com/chat

oops- I forgot the password to use. Dan, help please! I have it saved on my pc so I dont use it

Thinking of everybody at the reunion as well as those who didnt get to attend.

Lynn

 

Password is:

nlf  (initials of the site)

[daveydow1]

Kathy..Anthony's mom......Your son must have been a very wonderful person...

so caring and loving. He also must have been a fun-loving person too. He

has such a winning smile. I know you miss him terribly, and my thoughts and

prayers are that the love you have for him, and he for you will help you get

through those dark dark days. Peace & tranquility to you, friend.

  Daveysmom,  Sherry

[4everjoeysmom]

Anthony was, is and always will be amazing!! I'm guessing he and Joey are real good buds by now.

Love & Hugs Kathy!! Love, Claudia

[ericasmom]

Hello to Everyone,

I am off to bed at this meeting place of ours. I just had a wonderful walk in the night with Trudi, lightning off in the distance, a wonderful night with Kelly and Kim and Eric, Beyond Coordinators, and we reunion-ers. This has been a very special time, one in which will be in my heart as a benchmark. If we do this again, and I do think that we will, I would encourage you to attend as there is magic in meeting those who you are your soul-sisters and brothers.

We have spoken the names of all of the Children we love so dearly here at BI, and as we begin our journeys home we will take those names everywhere with us.

 

Loving you All,

dee

[mpsmom]

My BI Friends

I am sitting in the hotel room with Carol and Marcia.  Bonnie just left for VI.

What a weekend.  I feel like we I have know these women for my entire life.  The talking never stopped. 

THe laughs far outweighed the crying.  I met people here that have imprinted their spirits on my soul.  I am transformed.

Love you all

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever

[lolynbo]

SOOOOOO GLAD YAL ARE ENJOYN YOURSELFVES...IM STILL SO JEALOUS...MAYBE WE CAN HEAL FROM YOUR HEALING AND LEARNING TOGETHER

[4everjoeysmom]

It sounds like MN has been an amazing time, as I knew it would be. The funniest moment shared here...when Colleen locked herself out of her room at the excitement of Trudi knocking on the door. Can't wait to hear more... And Colleen, for being so young in your journey, I am so very happy for you that you got to have this time and experience. If only we all could have had such an amazing weekend so young in our journeys... Bless you all, and safe travels to everyone. Check in when you get home and let us know you're OK.

Love, Claudia

[daveydow1]

So glad that all of you who met in Minn. have had such a rewarding

and  uplifting experience. There is truly no strangers in those who share the sorrow

of losing a child.

Daveysmom,  Sherry 

[summergirl]

Marcia - "I am transformed" - what beautiful words to hear from you and my heart is thrilled with the excitement that shows in your posting!!

Dee -"A special time, one in which will be in my heart as a benchmark" - I am just so happy for all of you who got to be on MN . I can just see you and Trudi walking with the others and yes I am envious but in a good way - I cannot wait to hear so much more and SEE PICS!!!!!!!!

Maryanne - my heart hurts so much for you and as Greg said all here have been where you are so please do not give up, stay with us and we will be your family, your friend and the shoulder we all so deperately need no matter what "stage of loss" we are in.   I so wish you had someone close with you to sit with, a friend nearby or a family member, however from your postings I see that you are alone.  If I may, without hurting you say this - I had some amazing friends and some family members who were there for me those first months but I always felt "alone" - I know how much they tried to help me but at times I wanted nothing more than to scream at them to go away and leave me be, I wanted to be with my Jessica not them, I wanted to curl up in bed and never get up and I can honestly say that if it had not been for Jessica's son Tavian I am not sure how I would have survived it - I HAD to take care of him so I was forced to "live" - but being just 4 years old at the time he was able to move forward very quickly not understanding the circle of life - that is when I fell into the black hole, could not leave my house for long pierods of time as it was my "safe haven" - it was not until I found BI that I found the strength to continue on without my Jessica here - there is NOT ONE PERSON that could have hepled me on this journey, no one who understands the pain, the loss, the loneliness, the despair, the WHY's as much as those here. Even though my friends tried hard they could never help me in the way I needed it - BI has done that for me and I will be here for as long as I live.  You are so early on this path my friend and we understand the feelings that you send you spiraling into that blackness but you must hold on, it doesn't matter whether you feel that you cannot "express yourself" with your postings - we read through the lines, in between the spaces and we will never let you down. I pray for peace in your heart and pray that you know that in with time you will begin to live again - a different life but a life where you will smile, laugh and find your way.  I miss Jessica as much today as I did the night they told me she wasn't coming home - not a day goes by that I do not cry for her but it is much softer now, I find laughter in things that used to bring tears. Do not try to rush yourself, one step forward, 3 steps backwards but eventually you will keep moving forward and find that the backward steps get less frequent.  I will stop talking now as you will see that I have a tendancy to babble on and on - it's just me. Keeping you close in my heart.

It has been very hot here - in the 90's and humid - went to the beach today and sat in the water with my chair - very calming, relaxing.

A good friend of mine has a sister in Florida who lost her son, 28 years old, very quickly from cancer, within a 2 week period of diagnosis. It has been about 3 months now and I was talking to my friend and innquired about how her sister was doing and she said she didn't know because right now she was very upset with her - I asked her why she was upset with her sister and she told me that Valinda (her sister) called and left a very not nice message on her machine - basically saying that she was a terrible sister because she does not call enough, that she acts like she doesn't care that she lost her son, how could she be so heartless??   I tried to explain to my friend that her sister does not really mean what she is saying, she is angry that she lost her son which makes her angry at the world and we have the tendency to take that anger out on those we love the most because we believe they will understand - I told her to call her sister and apologize to her for not being there for her, to ask her what she would like her to do whether it just be talking to her or letting her do the talking etc. My friend responded with "well, I am really hurt so I am going to give it another week or so before I call her"!!!   I looked at her and said "your hurt"????? you didn't lose your son, your sister did and you had better call her" - well needless to say she got a little upset with me but before she could say anything I looked her right in the eye and said "I lost my daughter and your sister now walks in my shoes, you do not so get over your self pity and call her"!! She got upset with me but we are speaking again but she won't mention whether she has called her or not and I have kept quiet (which you probably know by now that is a hard thing for me to do). I am just so upset for Valinda so I have asked another family member for her phone number and am going to call her, I will not mention my conversation with her sister unless she brings it up. I guess I am telling you all this because I just still can not understand how people can be so selfish!!! AAARRRGGGHHH!!!!!!  Hopefully I can help Valinda in any way I can.

I have missed you all, have not been here since Thursday - the brake line on my blazer broke so had to leave it at the shop to be fixed, it has been so hot and work has been crazy - but that's life right - such as it is.

Peaceful dreams to all tonight and may you all find strength in each new day. Kathy

[summergirl]

Marcia - "I am transformed" - what beautiful words to hear from you and my heart is thrilled with the excitement that shows in your posting!!

Dee -"A special time, one in which will be in my heart as a benchmark" - I am just so happy for all of you who got to be on MN . I can just see you and Trudi walking with the others and yes I am envious but in a good way - I cannot wait to hear so much more and SEE PICS!!!!!!!!

Maryanne - my heart hurts so much for you and as Greg said all here have been where you are so please do not give up, stay with us and we will be your family, your friend and the shoulder we all so deperately need no matter what "stage of loss" we are in.   I so wish you had someone close with you to sit with, a friend nearby or a family member, however from your postings I see that you are alone.  If I may, without hurting you say this - I had some amazing friends and some family members who were there for me those first months but I always felt "alone" - I know how much they tried to help me but at times I wanted nothing more than to scream at them to go away and leave me be, I wanted to be with my Jessica not them, I wanted to curl up in bed and never get up and I can honestly say that if it had not been for Jessica's son Tavian I am not sure how I would have survived it - I HAD to take care of him so I was forced to "live" - but being just 4 years old at the time he was able to move forward very quickly not understanding the circle of life - that is when I fell into the black hole, could not leave my house for long pierods of time as it was my "safe haven" - it was not until I found BI that I found the strength to continue on without my Jessica here - there is NOT ONE PERSON that could have hepled me on this journey, no one who understands the pain, the loss, the loneliness, the despair, the WHY's as much as those here. Even though my friends tried hard they could never help me in the way I needed it - BI has done that for me and I will be here for as long as I live.  You are so early on this path my friend and we understand the feelings that you send you spiraling into that blackness but you must hold on, it doesn't matter whether you feel that you cannot "express yourself" with your postings - we read through the lines, in between the spaces and we will never let you down. I pray for peace in your heart and pray that you know that in with time you will begin to live again - a different life but a life where you will smile, laugh and find your way.  I miss Jessica as much today as I did the night they told me she wasn't coming home - not a day goes by that I do not cry for her but it is much softer now, I find laughter in things that used to bring tears. Do not try to rush yourself, one step forward, 3 steps backwards but eventually you will keep moving forward and find that the backward steps get less frequent.  I will stop talking now as you will see that I have a tendancy to babble on and on - it's just me. Keeping you close in my heart.

It has been very hot here - in the 90's and humid - went to the beach today and sat in the water with my chair - very calming, relaxing.

A good friend of mine has a sister in Florida who lost her son, 28 years old, very quickly from cancer, within a 2 week period of diagnosis. It has been about 3 months now and I was talking to my friend and innquired about how her sister was doing and she said she didn't know because right now she was very upset with her - I asked her why she was upset with her sister and she told me that Valinda (her sister) called and left a very not nice message on her machine - basically saying that she was a terrible sister because she does not call enough, that she acts like she doesn't care that she lost her son, how could she be so heartless??   I tried to explain to my friend that her sister does not really mean what she is saying, she is angry that she lost her son which makes her angry at the world and we have the tendency to take that anger out on those we love the most because we believe they will understand - I told her to call her sister and apologize to her for not being there for her, to ask her what she would like her to do whether it just be talking to her or letting her do the talking etc. My friend responded with "well, I am really hurt so I am going to give it another week or so before I call her"!!!   I looked at her and said "your hurt"????? you didn't lose your son, your sister did and you had better call her" - well needless to say she got a little upset with me but before she could say anything I looked her right in the eye and said "I lost my daughter and your sister now walks in my shoes, you do not so get over your self pity and call her"!! She got upset with me but we are speaking again but she won't mention whether she has called her or not and I have kept quiet (which you probably know by now that is a hard thing for me to do). I am just so upset for Valinda so I have asked another family member for her phone number and am going to call her, I will not mention my conversation with her sister unless she brings it up. I guess I am telling you all this because I just still can not understand how people can be so selfish!!! AAARRRGGGHHH!!!!!!  Hopefully I can help Valinda in any way I can.

I have missed you all, have not been here since Thursday - the brake line on my blazer broke so had to leave it at the shop to be fixed, it has been so hot and work has been crazy - but that's life right - such as it is.

Peaceful dreams to all tonight and may you all find strength in each new day. Kathy

[ericasmom]

Hi Guys,

going to bed but will post some tomorrow. I fell asleep while watching tv, my plan was to watch a show, come up and talk with you guys. Sorry. I did read some posts however, and Kath, your friend is struggling with how her role has changed with her sister, and vice-versa. I hope that she will call her sis and ask her what is it she can do to let her know that she supports her. Did she support you when you first were facing 'this' life? Hard stuff. I have an old friend, and she is extremely self-directed, when ERz died, she was going through affair and calling me sometimes 6 and 7 times a day to cry about this man who is an awful person, and equated her loss of him to mine with my daughter. This woman is a MOm, she is married, and she drove me nuts. I just never talked to her about any of my loss issues, and then she felt left out of my grief she said, because I didn't talk with her. Now, she wants to know everything I did this weekend with the BI gathering. I don't want to tell her, I will share this weekend and the special things we all talk about with you guys, my sisters, and a few friends, but it is too late for me to share with her about the life changing event of Eri's leaving. She simply couldn't be there when Eri died, in any way that was supportive, and in fact was calling me for help in a relationship that was based on lies. I told her I could not add to the negative events in my life, but she didn't stop, so now I am left with little to discuss with her.

I hope that your friend can see her way clear to supporting more before they lose each other.

TO All, loving you in ways that open up a whole new layer of my heart.

Bonnie, Colleen, Marcia, got home okay? How bout that traffic Col?

dee

[mamabets]

FOR ALL~ Welcome back, having experienced this glimpse life like you have just experienced... THIS past weekend will positively enhance a love shared among warriors.. Beautiful, angelic warriors...

For those of you that were in MN, I am so happy and I feel those hugs that you all grasped for and embraced. Each and every one of them!!... For those of us that were not, we feel your energy!!

Like one big slumber party... A gathering of long lost friends...

Simply AMAZING!!! I am so anxious to see pics!!

I want to hear that you are all safe and sound...

I love you all~

mamabets and Danny, her little wink from here, there and everywhere  

[nicksdad]

I picked up a Pinnacle Systems Dazzle DVD Recorder the other day. It converts VHS tapes to DVD's. They will play in a computer and also a dvd player. Pretty nice, and easy to use.

This is just my first test with it. You can record full DVD's or do a "start recording" and "stop recording" and make ones for YouTube etc.

Here's one of Nick when he was little:

[ericasmom]

Trudi, are you on your flight to California and then to Hawaii? HOpe it is a smooth and wondrous time, that the palm trees sway and whisper the names of all you love, and that Michael is right there showing you the way. I loved the video you brought, I was touched beyond words to see Mike walking and talking and holding the hand of the one he loves so purely. Thank you for sharing. Stay healthy.

Carol, you are heading home today with a heartful of stories and love. I will never forget the video you showed, tell your hubby that we applaud him. Tell your daughter that her voice brought me to my knees. Beauty. And that is what love is isn't it, it is pure beauty.

Going to school to finish up setting up my classroom after a bit of a walk. I will post photos later if I can shrink them, sometimes it works, and other times, not so much.

Love to all,

OH, just a thought that the BI people would like us to begin thinking about; what if anything could BI website do to make it better or friendlier?

What would encourage folks to a reunion, what would you like to see at a reunion if there is one next year? Would you be more inclined to go if there were activities available? Workshops and or speakers available? Anyhow, don't post your ideas here yet, I think that the folks at BI are going to open a thread for this so that we can gather ideas in one place. Just give some thought to it.

thanks,

dee

[ericasmom]

Dan, Nick as a turtle...I love it. Go NICK. Thanks Dan for all you provide. You are a wealth of information and you are a loving Dad, as well as a trusted and loved friend.

dee

[lolynbo]

DEE, I NEED YOUR ADDY TO MAIL U THE TAX FORM...TU

[cameronsmom1]

Lorri, I just wanted to say it was good to see you the other day. It's funny that we've only met once but when I saw you last week I felt like we have known each other for a while, which we pretty much have through BI! LOL

I am so glad you all had a good time. I so wish I could have been there. I go to my next doctors appointment on the 25th and we will be talking more about when I may be induced. I know that it will be in November and I am going to try for the 20th since it will be a friday and my sister won't have to miss nursing school. I have Marcia's number and will be letting her know if I happen to go into labor and will keep her updated so that she can keep you all updated. Only about 14 weeks at the most left!!!

Amanda

[mpsmom]

OK .... just lost my last 2 posts..    Hopefully this doesnt sound too bad...........I am in a real rush, wanted to post our group pic.. miss you all... hope lots more can come next year.   Needless to say the last 2 posts were very very long.. will write more later. on.

Love you all!!!!!!

Marcia               Bethanys Mom Forever

 

[cameronsmom1]

Marcia, Ok I have printed off the picture. I know some faces but can you tell me who is who so that I can write it on the picture and be able to know faces.

[mpsmom]

    Left to right ....  Bonnie, Marcia, Trudi, Colleen, Carol, Dee

                                                   Sorry ..... :?

[cameronsmom1]

Thank you so much!

[hotrod]

Welcome Back Everyone.

Thanks Marcia for the picture.   You all look like one big. loving family, as we are.

Hope I can make it next year.

Dan the utube video was priceless.

Betty

 

[mpsmom]

Dan, how absolutely precious Nick looks....... I played it four times in a row ....how sweet,,, "Daddy are your ready ???? "...

We have a machine that is supposed to do this as well, have not started on it yet.

Thank you for sharing.  

Marcia

[lostwoher]

Thank you for the picture! Welcome home everybody.

Isnt lil Nik just the cutest turtle ever? My son made a good looking one as well. My oh my, that was many years ago. Thanks for sharing.

Lynn

[shorty16]

Hello my friends,

I am surprised that I am so rejuvinated after the reunion.  I really thought I would be sad.

I am going to visit Bonnie in VI, and Trudi in Australia, and Marcia in NV, and New Hampshire sounds beautiful in the Fall.

The 6 hour drive home was rough; lots of traffic.

Sorry for the long airport stay, Bonnie.  Glad you are home safe.

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever

[summergirl]

I love the pic Marcia!!! Part of our family together just makes my heart feel so good!!  I am definitely going next year no matter where it is, have already started putting the pennies away so will be all set.  Don't you hate it when you lose a post let alone 2!!!

Dee - You asked if my friend supported me when I lost Jessica - well, Jessica passed on the 18th, a Friday night and Denise and her husband came over on Sunday evening. Denise's husband Frank is the sweetest man you could want to meet and it was so diffacult for him to come right away and when he did it was all he could do to look at Barry and I, on the other hand Denise is different in many ways. We were sitting in the livingroom and she was talking to me (no idea what about) but she suddenly asked if she could have one thing of Jessica's, it would mean alot to her, she asked for a pair of earrings that Jessica loved and wore often - I gave them to her - don't remember much after that. The next day my sister-in-law asked me if I knew what I had given to Denise and I said "what are you talking about" and she told me about the earrings and I had a total meltdown, had not idea what I had done. My sister-in-law went to see Denise and told her that she wanted them back for me and she brought them home.  When some time had passed I thought to myself - how could come a friend come to your house just 2 days after you lost your child and ask you for something that belonged to them!!!  It was about a year or so later that I asked Denise why she wanted the earrings and she said "I loved Jessica and it was important to me to have them, I was going to let my daughter wear them" - well let's just say the earrings are in Tavian's treasure box and will remain there. I have forgiven her and we remain friends but it will never be the same.  I am sorry  that you also had a friend that used you - it is amazing though how we find the strength to get past the cruelety of others, especially when we believe they are a friend.    I hope that Denise finds it in her heart to call her sister but I do not hold out any hope.

My husband is watching "Woodstock then and now" - what an amazing time that was - I remember being a child when it took place, I think I was 12!! 

Another hot day today, 91 and humid. We may go camping just for the weekend but are watching the weather - talking rain but who knows. Watching the hurricane's and hopefully they will stay away from the East Coast - I am terrrified of them!!

Dan - just beautiful - you are amazing just like your Nick!!!

Many thoughts of you today Jessica - tears on my cheeks as I sat on the deck looking up at the sky wondering where you were - if I could pick out a star and maybe you were sitting on it looking down at me looking at you!!! I love my girl always and forever - JESSICA, JESSICA, JESSICA. lOVE MOM

[pknight]

Wow I am really logged on my phone!

Been wanting 2 say hello 2 all & 2 Let u know I've been here & so grateful 4 all of u! I am kind of where Mary Ann is just a little less isolated as I have been in counseling even b4 I lost Kenny.

[heartbeataway]

Hi guys!

Our little Minnesota reunion exceeded my expectations! I didn't really know what to expect but whatever I had hidden away in my little mind was not what I actually experienced! It was so much more!

I finally got to meet the face that goes with some of the fingers that write some of the postings that I so look forward to reading everyday. We met, we visited, we ate great food, we drank vino, we laughed a lot, we cried a little, we trashed Marcia's room ;-) and we had a great, memorable time together!

I'm attaching a photo that was taken at the hotel on Friday.

I left our little reunion energized and grateful for time spent with great friends and understanding hearts.

I have lots more pictures and I'll post more soon.

It's good to be home! The trip home was a little stressful, two aborted landings, a diversion to Indianapolis, a cry at the SW ticket counter and an unplanned night in a Chicago hotel ..........!! It was what it was and I would do it all over again if I had too. This weekend meant that and so much more to me!

I hope everyone had safe trips home ...... and that sleep is your friend tonight.

Love and strength for the journey ahead,

Bonnie, Jay's Mom

;);):?

[lostwoher]

Wow, signing in on your cell! I can read but cant post while using my cell. Way to go! hahahaha. Welcome to the family. Tell us more about yourself, life, your loss...

Lynn aka mom to Kayla

One year ago today we buried you my angel. So so so hard to believe it has been that long. Thank you so very much for your appearance on the 12th. The day I always call the 12th of never because it NEVER should have happened. I love you then, now and later. MWAH!

[daveydow1]

Bonnie & Marcia---Thanks so much for the pics. They are great, and I'm so

glad that the reunion was such a success. Welcome back to all.

Kathy----So sorry to hear of your friend's sister in Fla. who lost her dear son

to cancer such a short time after his diagnosis. It's good that you spoke up to

your friend. People can be so thoughtless, can't they?