Loss of an Adult Child

[mamabets]

Dear Greg- You can't breathe- God, I know that feeling- All of us here will e breathe for you and carry you through- What is on for the day?? Please write!! I think about you every minute- Danny's will be here on Halloween, his birthday- The day of his accident, 1 year later, we took Julia to Kindermourn and ordered his brick... I am helpless, but how about me going to the Speedway?? Would he have liked that? I can do it-!!! Let me know and I will tell you the exact time that I am going- This could help!! Xo Bets

[jscmom]

Biansdad, I dont know waht to say to you to make you feel better because I too feel the same way. I can't breath, my chest is heavy, my heart keeps hurting to the soul. I want to run so far away without looking back.

I think we just have to let God guide help us in this pain.

I am trying to think of what to do on John's angel date 10/10, one year already seems like yesterday and forever. What I want is him back so nothing else can get through. As most of you know John was in a coma since 9/26 so I feel like I am drowning.

I don't know what to do for him that day, any suggestions from any one would be helpful.

I will leave with a pray for you. God please help Brians dad give him what he needs to get through these days. Wrap your arms aound him and hold him tight let him feel your love and the love of his beautiful son..amen

Lucette, Johnny's mom forever

[jscmom]

Briansdad forgive my spelling the tears were flowing.

Mamabets what is kindermourn the (brick)? Can you plese tell me? Thank you

Lucette

[jscmom]

Donomom, If you cry so be it tears of joy and sadness and love. It is a beautiful thing to do for your son. How awesome that all the groomsmen will be wearing the tee shirt with your sons picture on it. May God give you strengh on Saturday I will be thinking of you.

One of Johns friends is going to name his son Eric John in honor of John. I found this out yesterday, I feel so blessed that Eric loved my John so much he is honoring his love through his child.

Funny thing is this friend I did not know very well as he wasn't one of the ones that grew up with John and hung out here.

[briansdad]

Mamabets,I'm going to go out to where Brian died at the time of his accident 8:25 AM, and just sit!And yes he would love the speedway tribute.I'm going to the cemetery with Family and Friends at 6:30 PM and I'm taking helium and balloons and a sharpie so they all can write their own messages to B and send them up. I'll play Cindy Bullens song, As long as you love and then Greenday's Wake Me Up When September Ends.The song is very fitting.Then I'll try to read a Poem that Missingchris sent me.I hope I can read it through my tears.Thank You All for your prayers because I know we'll need them.

[purplelady]

Judy, thank you for your reply. I must tell you I still feel like I am in the beginning I can't see it in the past. Everyday seems the same as the last. I have no idea how we are to walk this walk all I really want to do is crawl in a hole and cover it up. Take care, Lucette Johnnys mom forever22

Lucette, I know the feeling all too well, honey. You feel like you are being swallowed up by the pain and grief. I am not sure that there is anything I can tell you to help you get through it, except to keep breathing moment by moment. If you can't walk, take my hand and I will walk with you - it is so comforting to know that you are walking through the pain with someone on your side. While we may both be stumbling and tripping along the way, we are still walking, still upright. That is my goal every day, to make sure that I keep myself upright at all times, not to let the pain engulf me so bad that I am unable to stand. I still get out of bed, get dressed, brush my teeth, and KEEP BREATHING! I cry ALOT, I mourn, I grieve, but at least I have accomplished that much - it is something. I am hoping that it gets better as time goes on, but right now that is all that I can do. I would love to dig a deep hole and crawl into it, but then what? What happens after that? The pain will follow you no matter where you go. If I set small, attainable goals (even if it is just being able to get out of bed in the morning and put one foot in front of the other) then I have done something. I am still heartbroken, depressed, devastated, and tortured by the incredible pain of losing my son, but everyday that I live through is another notch of strength for me. Eventually, they all tell me, it softens and you find a place to put the pain, you learn to adjust to the pain in your life ... and I am not so sure about that, but I will wait and see if it happens. Until then, I am just trying to hang on with all the strength I have, for my husband and my children. They all mean so much to me and I love them with all my heart. I hope that you will find some measure of peace and comfort through this difficult time in your life. I know that if it wasn't for all my new "friends" here, whom I can talk to and reach out to, I would not have made it this far. And truly, I don't think that I am that "far" yet, but I am still breathing ... that has to count for something. You will be in my thoughts and prayers always, as we all walk this journey together. Much love and friendship, Judi, Andrew's Mom

[briansdad]

I've wanted to post this since I found this site.I wrote it a couple of weeks after Brian died.I will share it with you all now.

My son was born

One fine spring day

I remember it

Like it was yesterday

I put up signs

Announcing the day

Little did I know

In 24 years he’d have to go away

The patrolman walked up to me

With the news all parents dread

We regret to inform you

Your son Brian is dead

How can this be

It must be a mistake

It didn’t sink in

Till after the wake

Life should stop

But it never does

It’s almost like

He never was

Late at night

I lay down and cry

Continually asking

Why God why

I’ve listened so hard

But hear no reply

Does he know my pain

Does he see me cry

I miss my son

So very much

I’d give anything

Just to feel his touch

I wake in the morning

I can hardly get out of bed

Another day without him

Is the thing that I dread

I lay down at night

Trying to sleep

Into my mind

Thoughts of my son start to creep

Was he in pain

As his life ebbed away

These are the thoughts

I have everyday

I hurt for his Mom

His brother and sister

His 5 year old daughter

God I’m so happy that morning he got to kiss her

So now I’ve been told

That I must go on

To live my life

Without my son

The sun rises and sets

One time each day

Just like it did

Before he went away

Life should stop

But it never does

It’s almost like

He never was

Brian Gregory Klocke

4-19-80

9-30-04

I’ll miss ya B

Love Dad

Written by Greg Klocke

[Artina]

Chris's birthday is the same day that Brian died and I can't help but feel such a twist of emotions. Briansdad... I am thinking about you as you approach Friday and the day that changed your life.

I remember my son being born that day 11:58AM on September 30, 1982. I was a scared 16 year old mother with a 19 year old husband- we were doing the right thing. We loved each other and we loved our baby. I felt on top of the world after 19 beautiful years with that sweet, smart, strong, confident, honest, and admirable son. Life was perfect. I was HAPPY!!! I wanted for nothing. I had the most wonderful family. I knew that and never questioned it. And then January 4, took my life right out from under me. Today is not a good day for me. I feel every cell in my body. I miss you Chris and I am sad that we won't be able to celebrate your 23 birthday with you- but we will acknowledge it. Peace to you and all of my hearts love- mom.

Tina

[missingchris]

Boy, I sure do feel inadaquate to post here, amidst all this pain. I have no advice, just here to say that we lived through Chris's Angel date. I use the term loosely. And I can't say we've recovered from it yet, because the shock is gone. I want it back!!! I thought after the first year we'd be better prepared, but we aren't, and I dread the coming holidays. Dakota is having panic attacks now, there aren't any counselors in our area that are equipped to council a child that watched his brother die right in front of his eyes. We're back to not sleeping and such. I know this probably isn't helping any of you approaching the end of the first year. Just know that you aren't nuts....

Greg, I don't have to type it do I? You know you'll be in our hearts on Friday. Tina, Hugs to you, I hate knowing what you're feeling, at least a measure of it. Maybe our kids will all be gathered together on Friday, sending us just enough strength to get through the day. Hang in there, it's the best we can do.......

[julsmom]

Greg, that is a very beautiful, powerful poem. It says much for all of us.

I can't believe that almost 2 yrs to that awful day, I came home tonight from dropping my husband off at a meeting, that I went to the phone to call Julie to see how she was doing. The mind some times does not want to cooperate with reality.

Peace to all of us. Lynda

[danielsmom]

Artina,My thoughts will be with you and your family on Friday.Its just not right that our children are not here to celebrate their birthdays.

Donosmom,The wedding was beautiful.filled with love,joy and sadness.I tried my best to make it a wonderful day for my daughter,but there were moments when I couldn't contain my sadness. So when I needed to cry I just did. The weather was absolutley perfect,not a cloud in the sky.I know that Daniel had something to do with that. In so many ways I felt him there.I know how hard this Saturday will be for you but I'm sure that along with the tears there will be much happiness.

Take care

Wendy

Daniel Nov 20 1985-April 17 2005

[purplelady]

I've wanted to post this since I found this site.I wrote it a couple of weeks after Brian died.I will share it with you all now.

My son was born

One fine spring day

I remember it

Like it was yesterday

I put up signs

Announcing the day

Little did I know

In 24 years he’d have to go away

The patrolman walked up to me

With the news all parents dread

We regret to inform you

Your son Brian is dead

How can this be

It must be a mistake

It didn’t sink in

Till after the wake

Life should stop

But it never does

It’s almost like

He never was

Late at night

I lay down and cry

Continually asking

Why God why

I’ve listened so hard

But hear no reply

Does he know my pain

Does he see me cry

I miss my son

So very much

I’d give anything

Just to feel his touch

I wake in the morning

I can hardly get out of bed

Another day without him

Is the thing that I dread

I lay down at night

Trying to sleep

Into my mind

Thoughts of my son start to creep

Was he in pain

As his life ebbed away

These are the thoughts

I have everyday

I hurt for his Mom

His brother and sister

His 5 year old daughter

God I’m so happy that morning he got to kiss her

So now I’ve been told

That I must go on

To live my life

Without my son

The sun rises and sets

One time each day

Just like it did

Before he went away

Life should stop

But it never does

It’s almost like

He never was

Brian Gregory Klocke

4-19-80

9-30-04

I’ll miss ya B

Love Dad

Written by Greg Klocke

Brian, what an awesome, awesome poem. You have touched my heart deeply. God bless you and keep you. Judi, Andrew's Mom

[purplelady]

GREG, I am so, so sorry that I accidentally wrote your son's name instead of yours. Please forgive me. I guess in just reading your beautiful poem, I had your sweet son Brian on my mind. Again, please forgive my mistake and know that you and your family are in my prayers always. Much love, Judi, Andrew's Mom

[mamabets]

Dear Greg- Carry this with you, as you begin to prepare yourself for tomorrow, although you have already done a really great job in doing so,,,

A small boy looked at a star and began to weep.And the star said"Child, why are you weeping?' The boy said, "You are so far away, I will never be able to touch you." And the star answered "Little boy, if I were not already in your heart, you would not be able to see me."

A qoute from Kindermourn...We will all get each other through each and every day. Peace, my friend, one moment at a time... xo Bets

[mamabets]

Dear Jscmom- Kindermourn is a home here in Charlotte, North Carolina where people go to heal from the horrors of losing a child. It was started by a woman many years ago and has grown into a beautiful home for all like us. You can visit them on line at Kindermourn- Their homepage will come right up. A year age they started this Pathway to Grace where people could purchase inscribed bricks in memory of their loved ones- The bricks decorate the edges of the walkway to the front door- We just purchased ours for Danny on his 1 year mark, and there will be a celebration when they lay them sometime in the fall. I am very involved with a counselor there- One on one- She has been tremendous, as she is involved in every aspect of this with me. Please go and visit them- They do hold hope when we seem to have none. I shared something with Greg from there a few minutes ago- I will share another with you... "Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in Heaven where the spirits of our loved ones pour through and shine down upon us to let us know that they are happy...." For today, I will hang on to that!! xo mamabets

[briansdad]

purplelady,not a problem his name is music to my ears.

Take care

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Briansdad, all too well, we understand the many emotions and the pain. Thoughts and prayers will be with you for the days ahead. Take in the sights and sounds of the morning, while you not only grief Brians loss, but celebrate the life of such a wonderful person. May you be filled with peace.

[rhonda68]

Briansdad i will be thinking of you. I am so saddened by everything on this site and wish there was something i could do. Forgive me as I am having a hard time thinking or talking or writing or anything lately.

Kathy714 I think of you lots too as we lost our boys at the same time.

Love to all and take care!

Rhonda Richards mom

[purplelady]

purplelady,not a problem his name is music to my ears.

Take care

Greg, I know what you mean - their name is truly music to our ears, isn't it? Sometimes, though, it is so hard to hear it, as much as we love to and think about them all the time, it is bittersweet. My prayers are with you as you struggle through this hard time. Much love and peace, Judi, Andrew's Mom

[heartbrokendad]

Dear Mamabets

My son Chris is in N.Carolina, hes at Pope Air Base...

Stu

Carrie and Matthews dad

[Artina]

Danielsmom and All,

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers as today marks my son's Birthday. He would be 23 young. I miss him so much. My best friend brought a candle, balloon, and his favorite dessert over last night. Her thoughtfulness touched me very much and eased a lot of my pain. She has done this every year since his death. I appreciate that so much. What a difference one person can make on our journey.

I also want to thank all of you for your support- for each of you make my journey that much easier too.

Peace to you, Tina

Happy Birthday Christopher

September 30, 1982 January 4, 2002

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Tina, my thoughts and prayers are with you. Take each moment with gentleness and love. May you have all the peace you need for the day. May your one friend be blessed for such kindness to you. Happy birthday to Christopher. Mark

[wnf4ever]

Tina - You are in my thoughts and prayers. My grief therapist told me when we had to spend what would have been Warren's 26th birthday without him here (I just lost him in May) to write to him and recall a lot of my good memories with him and to always remember that this was the day of his birth and always would be. I don't know if that helps, I was such A MESS that day (like I am every day) that I wasn't able to do much but go to the cemetary with my daughter, cover him with balloons and flowers and cry, cry, cry. I am still at such a loss without my beautiful boy, how do we get through this? It was just Warren and I together constantly, doing everything for five years! I miss him so much. May you be able to find some comfort and peace this day. Take care,

Marty

[purplelady]

Danielsmom and All,

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers as today marks my son's Birthday. He would be 23 young. I miss him so much. My best friend brought a candle, balloon, and his favorite dessert over last night. Her thoughtfulness touched me very much and eased a lot of my pain. She has done this every year since his death. I appreciate that so much. What a difference one person can make on our journey.

I also want to thank all of you for your support- for each of you make my journey that much easier too.

Peace to you, Tina

Happy Birthday Christopher

September 30, 1982 January 4, 2002

Artina, much love and hugs to you today on the Birthday of your sweet, precious Christopher. What a dear friend you have to give such love and comfort to you during your saddest times. You are so right, sweetie, that one person can make a big difference in the way you are able to handle your grief.

I am so sure you feel blessed to have this special person in your life. My son died 2 months ago, and we had the painful experience of having to live through his 21st birthday only a month later. I cannot begin to tell you how hard that was - but, we are still here. We made it through, and thank God you are still standing, too. I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking about you today and sending out special birthday wishes for your Christopher. May God give you the strength and fortitude you need to make it through your sadness today. Much love and courage, Judi, Andrew's Mom

[missingchris]

Tina,

Our thoughts are with you today.

Happy Birthday Christopher.

Another Chris's Mom

[ericasmom]

Tina,

my thoughts to you on this day of greatness, Christopher's birthday. NO we never planned on spending our baby's special day without them, but we do, and hopefully you feel that young man smiling on you.

To all, bless you in your grief and in your healing.

dee

[ericasmom]

Dear Briansdad,

love the poem you wrote of your son,your grief. I write also, it helps define and give shape to this ache. My girl was a spring baby too, April 4, 1984, my 4/4/84 girl. She died at 19 on 7/14/03. There is no going back and so as we go forward, remember the joy, write about it, talk about it, allow it, our children did live, they did leave a legacy of memories and laughter and we will always be better folks for having had them in our lives, for being the parents to such fabulous children.

Bless you All,

dee

[julsmom]

Tina many hugs and prayers this day of Chris' birth.

Lynda

[rhonda68]

Dear Artina thinking of you on this special day and sending many hugs your way. What a special friend you have the world needs more people like that.

Take care,

Rhonda

[kathy714]

Dear Tina,you are in my prayers today,i know these special days can be tough,these special dates that we use to look foward to now can be scarey and emotional,it sounds like the day went ok ,like Rhonda said,thank god for special friends at times like these to help us through,and thank god for everyone on this site,you all have been so supportive,and when i am down i know i can come to Beyond Indigo and i always read something that helps me get through another day...T/C Kathy,Nates mom

[kathy714]

Dear Briansdad,i love that poem,i think i remember reading it for the first time right after Nate passed,and i was so touched by it,reading it was ,every thought,that was going through my mind at that time,and still today,thank you for sharing it with us again.and my thoughts are with you as you go through these days ahead,T/C Kathy,Nates mom.

[enufalreddy]

I haven'tbeen here in a while. Have been avoiding dealing with thoughts of Walter because it hurts too much. But it is unavoidable. I sat crying last night because I can't stand the thought of winter coming and him being out there in the cold. I'm just not dealing with this well at all. And all the distractions in the world don't help the pain that comes with remembering that he is gone.I recieve individual counselling for life in general but am wondering if I should join a grief support group.Please,anyone who has tried the support groups other than on the web...did it help?

[julsmom]

enufalreddy - I joined a 9 wk support group (A friend that I would do better with a group that had an "end date"). I found it helpful - it involved journaling and was run by the local Catholic church, it was faith-based but didn't push any one theology (I'm not Catholic). I know that it is not for many people. Many on this forum and others I know go to a Compassionate Friends Group whicy they feel is very helpful. May you find peace where every you can Lynda

[purplelady]

I haven'tbeen here in a while. Have been avoiding dealing with thoughts of Walter because it hurts too much. But it is unavoidable. I sat crying last night because I can't stand the thought of winter coming and him being out there in the cold. I'm just not dealing with this well at all. And all the distractions in the world don't help the pain that comes with remembering that he is gone.I recieve individual counselling for life in general but am wondering if I should join a grief support group.Please,anyone who has tried the support groups other than on the web...did it help?

ENUFALREDDY - I so understand your pain and frustration. Like you, I worry all the time that my son is freezing. I buried him with a blanket on so that he wouldn't be cold ... and I know that this may sound bizarre, but it helps me to get through. You do what you have to do to survive. I live in a state of shock most of the time, and when the pain is overwhelming I just let it all out. There is not much else you can do but ride with the waves. I went to my first Compassionate Friends meeting last month, and I can guarantee you that you will feel understanding and love there. There are so many of those that have travelled the road before us and have a lot of comfort and hope to give to others. Right now it is too soon for me to be hopeful or find peace, but I am hoping that through my journey, I will also find what these others have ... a reason to go on. Please know that you are in my prayers always, and I hope that you will continue to move forward through your tragedy, in whatever way you can to get by. I cling on the edge every single minute of every single day - it is exhausting and painful - but still I cling. Don't expect too much from yourself for you have just experienced the worst loss any parent could ever have to bear. And you can find some measure of comfort in being in a room full of people who understand what you are going through. God bless you always. Judi, Andrew's Mom

[Artina]

Thanks everybody for your kind words and prayers. I feel your energy and it really helps. I'm sure that Christopher could feel it too- since there were people who he has never met sending their thoughts and prayers our way. Thank you for that. I am glad to have September 30, one day behind me. The day that Chris was born was one of the best days of my life- I will never forget that day. As painful as his Birthday is... I wouldn't choose to not have it. Thanks again everybody.

Peace to all, Tina

[Artina]

Briansdad,

I couldn't help but think about your family yesturday as we thought about our son's birthday. I just really wanted to reinforce our support.

Thinking about you, Tina

[briansdad]

Here it is the day after and I'm thinking to myself." I'm now finished with all the firsts". Is it going to get better? I wish I knew.I made it through yesterday only because of my family and friends.Brian's friends and not least of all, all of you. Thank You.

The day went something like this.We wennt to the cemetery at about 6:30 Pm and I read this poem.

THE BROKEN CHAIN

We little knew that morning that God was going to all your name,

In life we loved you dearly, in death we do the same.

It broke our hearts to lose you, you did not go alone,

For part of us went with you, the day God called you home.

You left us peaceful memories, your love is still our guide,

And though we cannot see you, you are always at our side.

Our family chain is broken, and nothing seems the same,

But as God calls us one by one, the chain will link again.

Then I played a couple of songs as every one released a balloon that they had written a message on.

Again thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

[mamabets]

For Greg- I have a picture frame in my kitchen with that poem engraved on it- Danny's girlfriend, Liana, gave it to me on the one year date .I was so touched then because Jackie had found it right after he journeyed into Heaven and put it in his guest book! I am happy that you read it yesterday, as it is a beautiful poem, and definate proof that the day somehow came full circle. One day at a time is all that any of us can do. This is a great place to always find the understanding that we all need. God Bless to you and all of us that continue on in memory of all of our wonderful kids... None of them will ever know this pain, and for that I am grateful!! xo mamabets

[purplelady]

Here it is the day after and I'm thinking to myself." I'm now finished with all the firsts". Is it going to get better? I wish I knew.I made it through yesterday only because of my family and friends.Brian's friends and not least of all, all of you. Thank You.

The day went something like this.We wennt to the cemetery at about 6:30 Pm and I read this poem.

THE BROKEN CHAIN

We little knew that morning that God was going to all your name,

In life we loved you dearly, in death we do the same.

It broke our hearts to lose you, you did not go alone,

For part of us went with you, the day God called you home.

You left us peaceful memories, your love is still our guide,

And though we cannot see you, you are always at our side.

Our family chain is broken, and nothing seems the same,

But as God calls us one by one, the chain will link again.

Then I played a couple of songs as every one released a balloon that they had written a message on.

Again thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

GREG - thank you for sharing your very special day and precious moments with us. I am sure that everyone present was as deeply touched as I am. May you and your family continue to have the grace and comfort you need to go through your lifetime journey. Gentle wishes, Judi, Andrew's Mom

[Artina]

Briansdad,

Your poem is the exact poem that we have engraved on Chris's memorial plaque. Ironic- that we share a date, a poem, a love for muscle cars, and two very loved young men. I can't help but think that our boys know each other.

Peace to you, Tina

[missingchris]

Here is a question for your board:

What do you say to your wife to bring her back from the edge, after your 6 yr old son tells her that he loves her but if he could choose, he'd send her to heaven to stay and have his brother here with him and I? She just stares at nothing, not crying... I don't know what to say to make her feel better. I know he's only a child, but if he had said that to me, I just don't know how I'd have reacted. This shredded her. I'm no good at the comfort thing... any ideas?

Chris's Dad

[Artina]

MissingChris,

It sounds like your children are very close and your son misses Chris- that's it. Your son is only six and yet has experienced a very tramatic loss. He has no way to express how much he misses his brother. His comment was meant to express how much he misses his brother- not how much he could live without his mommy. Children at that age don't have the ability to understand that their words may be taken deeper than they are meant to; especially when talking about his emotions about such a serious topic. I think it's good that your son was able to share his feelings about how much he misses his brother- in his little six year old way. I'm sure that your wife didn't cry, because she understands that her six year old son doesn't mean what his words said. I don't think I could be hurt by such a comment from a six year old, because my hurt level has been raised by the loss of my son and words just don't hurt like they used to. Maybe you could ask your wife (in private) if what your son told her, hurt her. And then be willing to just listen to her as she talks. Let her know that she is loved and needed more than words can express. Just a thought. You know your wife the best and whatever you do to reach out will be exactly what she needs. It is very thoughtful of you to worry that her feelings were hurt and she will be touched by your concern- I promise.

Peace to you, Tina

[missingchris]

It hurt her..... and I didn't know what to say when she told me, so now she's just not talking

[alwaysmyjennifer]

MissingChris, children are innocently honest, even though it may hurt us adults. I once thought as do many psuchologists that children don't comprehend death as we do, in the finality of it. But, I've learned that even an infant can grieve for a lost parent or sibling. Children express grief in such radical ways, we barely understand them. If I can offer any suggestion, wrap your arms around her, and hold her silently. When she's ready, let her know his grief is so vastly different that he can't understand how to tell you what he feels. If you are seeing anger, or unusual disobedience, it's grief. As painful as this is to say and hear, perhaps you may want to consider someone trained in child grief, and I'd also suggest a lady. Children respond to women much better - the mothering effect. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

[kirksdad]

Chris's Dad, I may be way off here, but is your wife's grief so intense that your little boy can feel it. We all have the feeling that if we could we would change places with our children, you wife probably feels that way also. To have your child say something like that to you is only saying, as the others have said, how much he loved his brother and how much he misses him. Kids do grieve in a different way from the way we do, but that doesn't mean their grief isn't as painful, just in a different way. You need to talk to your wife and see how she is feeling about what he said. In the beginning we all feel the complete emptiness, that is only natural and maybe, for her, it is just too soon to feel anything, but shock. If she is not reacting with your little boy then you need to try to break through to her and get her to talk to you and tell you what she is feeling and then respect what emotional state she is in and try to proceed from there. If she is only going to sit and stare and not talk then you need to talk to a professional.

[daveydow1]

Missingchris,

I can understand your wife's silence. I wish I could say

something that would help. Artina's post said it so well--

better than I could put it into words. You are a loving

husband to show such concern for your wife. Peace & prayers

are my wish are for you.

[daveydow1]

Artina,

I haven't been on this site for a little while, so I did

not know that Sept. 30 was your dear son, Chris' birthday.

I pray that you found peace somehow on that day. My son,

Davey's birthday was Sept. 26 (age 34), but of course, he

will always be 31 yrs. old to me. We took a large bouquet

of zinnias and marigolds from our flower beds.

We said our prayers and talked

to our son. We released two white balloons with messages

into the rainy sky, and watched as they went up & up, and

finally disappeared behind the gray clouds. Your posts are

so helpful---thank you. I wish you peace and tranquility.

Sherry,----Davey's mom

[daveydow1]

Mamabets,

I liked what you said in your post----that our children

who have passed over will never have to suffer our pain.

This is so true, and it is a comfort to know this. My

son was not happy at times, and didn't get many breaks

in life. It is a comfort to know that he, and all of our

children now in heaven, are happy and pain free. Thanks

for the post. Peace be with you.

[Artina]

Daveydow,

I feel so much better now that the day has passed. Thank you for your kind words and prayers. I send them to you also, in honor of Davey's Birthday.

We didn't do too much... we celebrated on a surface level with his favorite food and a Birthday cake. We each sent a special thought to Chris as we released a balloon. I want to do something else, but I will know what that is when it presents itself to me.

Peace to all, Tina

[daveydow1]

Robertsmom,

Thanks for your kind words regarding my son, Davey's,

birthday on Sept. 26. I don't know what I would do if

I didn't have this site to come to, and everyone's

kindness and understanding on this journey we are all

on. Peace.