Loss of an Adult Child

[Mermaid Tears]

Another coincidence ?

Hardly.....

Isn't it strange that we get a 'sign' when we need that child in our gatherings...celebrations...holidays...for inside our hearts are bleeding....for that empty space simply is like a black hole and can suck us in...a black pit....and  you just wish you could fall through a trap door...

   but we gather what wits we have left and courageously join in...participate...march on...for life is for the living...

 

and then..bingo....there is that 'sign'....our loved ones know we need that ....

 

that is the first time Coke made my day, Laurie....

[Mermaid Tears]

Laurie....I am with you with every word you shared today....

 

you and I are in this '3rd year'.....

 

I know that I would not be where I am now on my grief journey without the care..consideration...concern...from all the parents on this site....

each of you know what I am saying with words....but each of you know what is being said between the lines...

each of you know how hard...this journey is...

we rejoice when a parent is having a good day...

and we console each other when one is have a bad day...week...month...marker day...

 

Laurie....my Grama always said that people that used bible verses to substantiate their views were the Highest Ranking Hypocrites..

     I also find that to be true...

[Jeff's Mom]

Laurie, we are with you in thought today as you celebrate with Christina. Given the circumstances it was a huge accomplishment for her.Well done!

 

Wade, I agree about holding on to those precious treasures. Why does it often take losing something precious to make us value those things that can not be bought? I have always kept the cards, etc. that the boys made when in school. I now dig into my box of treasures each and every special occasion and frequently lose myself in memory as I recall those very special times. Jeff's cards always stand alongside the others each occasion. it helps to give comfort and reconnect. Love those irises! Brooks spirit is continuing to grow and thrive as his loving spirit will never die.

 

Susan, I have to thank you for your continued support to us all each and every day. Your words of comfort and encouragement help to keep us going. I know that you and Dee and everyone else has helped me over some very rough periods.

 

The time spent with the kids was great. Far too short for my liking. I am now counting the days until Christmas. The family and my love of nature is what sustains me. It is finally raining and hopefully will help to freshen things up and keep the dust down. Sending warm wishes to all this evening.

 

Kate

[Mermaid Tears]

Laurie...I just want you to know I was thinking of you at Christine's graduation ceremony....tonight ...Hunter Bear came by to take a History final on my computer....I was busy 'getting him something to eat'....it was another 'busier than usual day'....

 

and I know you were sitting in the audience...(like me)....tucking the thoughts down and around...to celebrate your girl....

I guess with time....we will become better and better with this kind of trick....

[TearsInHeaven]

Laurie- what a special moment for Christina.  Jesse was there for her on her special time .  Moments like those are such a treasure to hold on

 

 

 

  

[ericasmom]

Kate, those photos are amazingly lovely, what a beautiful place to be. I know it was wonderful for you to share those days with the Kids, wonderful for them as well.

[Mermaid Tears]

Kate...you do live in one of Mother Natures Best...makes me want to have a picnic at that table....I also see a handsome SONshine boy with those precious partners....yes....we can see why you are so counting the days til the Christmas holidays...are there any photos of you and the girls ? We have been getting lots of rain in our area....and we do not complain at all !!

[Jeff's Mom]

Thank you, Dee. Ross and I really  enjoyed our visit with the family. We packed a lot of fun into such a short time. The kids are growing like weeds and very active. Happy and healthy little girls. We spent a few days in Calgary and then we headed to Banff. It is a short drive from their home. As you go through life your perspectives on almost everything changes. ..and never more so than when you lose a child. Learning to rebuild your life without them in it is the greatest challenge any parent could be asked to face. We learn to take that which is at our disposal...family, friends, and all resources to try to piece our lives back together again. It is hard work and very painful. Our lives are like quilts...bits and pieces...joy and sorrow...stitched together with love.

 

Leah, how are feeling these days? 

 

Has anyone heard how Trudi is doing?

 

Laurie, we look forward to hearing about your day yesterday.

 

Sandy, Eileen, and everyone... thinking of you.

 

Susan, I took all of the pictures. Not long before we left I looked a some recent photos of myself. I was actually alarmed. I look like crap. I have aged terribly since Jeff died and the issues with Ross have really taken their toll on my appearance. This is my next challenge. Try to take my own advice. Self care.

 

Georgina, good luck with your issues regarding your eye problem. Please do take care of yourself. I remember a few years back attending a Wellness Institute lecture for women. A keynote speaker was a woman that spoke of having lived her life refusing to allow others to help. She felt she had to do everything herself. Then she suffered a huge heart attack. While in the hospital she lay there worrying about things coming apart at the seams in her absence. Well, she was amazed when she returned home to find things had gone just fine. Everything got accomplished ...but in their way. And she learned that sometimes you just have to allow others to help you shoulder the load. Talk it out with them. You will be surprised at how it goes. it was hard for me at first. The results were worth it. 

 

This is our Victoria Day long weekend. The weather is calling for a mixed bag of everything. I guess everyone will be coming up by the droves to open their cottages for the season. Sheesh...I love my peace and quiet. Have a decent day everyone. Kate

[Mermaid Tears]

Kate....all on this site are nodding in agreement about how one's perspective changes when you experience the grief when losing a child....

   and how we clutch to find ways to stitch our lives and the family back together again...

and I can see how this kind of grief and then other issues that some have to face can ravage one physically and emotionally...

     I 'see' you ....without sight....

you are a very loyal and devoted woman to her family...with a beautiful spirit and heart and thought....very intelligent with two common sense feet on the ground.....and you carry your grief with much courage.

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

Thank you Dianne for your wishes for Christina. Her pastor and another older couple attended the ceremony with cake and punch afterwards. Since my sister-in-law also was here, it made things a little bit easier since we were minus Jesse. It is the first major function we had to do without him. So many emotions. All mixed in the same day. She is glad to be graduated though with no more classes or tests. (sorry Dee and Wade  )

 

Thanks Susan for your very nicely worded wishes...

 

Kate, I wanted to know what the large brown brick building was in the one picture you posted. Sounds like it was a great trip.

 

Georgina, thinking of you today. With my husband and daughter, it actually helped them to go to work. I think it depends on the workplace and also what kind of rapport you have with co-workers. At my husband's work they are very supportive, especially his co-workers that he works the closest with. Sending good thoughts that all goes well.

 

Becky, wondering about you and your family...sending warm thoughts your way.

 

Sherry, are you going to garden this year? I am not sure if my husband will or not, I think it will be a bit smaller though...our yearly bear visitor showed up the other night. Threw the garbage all over the yard, and punched a hole in the garbage container. I hope he is moved on now...I am not fond of bears in the backyard.

 

Sandy, thinking of you today with your mom....prayers...

 

Thinking of many that post here, Gretchen, Eileen, Leah, Colleen, Shannon, Surreal (JD), Mary Ann (for posting the special poem) and so many others, you are in my thoughts....

[MissKylie]

Just wanted to stop by and say hello and wish everyone to have a great weekend ahead.

 

It's beach time here and I miss to boat with the little girl whom have always been my companion.

 

But there's no choice but to stay strong everyday as there's no other option.

 

 

Regards to everyone,

 

Kylie's Mommy- Cherry

 

[InHeavensKeeping]

Thank you Susan you hit it on the nail with so many things you said. I am broken hearted that's how I feel. And like you I have Learnt the hard way what it means. I can't think straight because everything I do I relate it to James.

When you told me a while ago what your children said 'We all knew if Mom could make it...we all could'.... I kept repeating that over and over when I felt I couldn't stand the pain any more

I went back to work yesterday and I couldn't face going into the main staff room so I sat in our office with four colleagues and all they talked about was their Son's. I felt so bereft I'm sure they didn't realise the pain it caused but to me it just proved that none has any idea what this is like for us and for me how every second is worse than the last

Dee because my husband suffers with depression I'm the one that has to help him. He does care about me and does try but he only eats if I cook or make him otherwise he has no interest and will just eat snacks. He does make me a cup of tea and does bits and pieces around the house for me.

I'm going to try one more Solictor as a second opinion and if he says the same then I will have to let it be for now but it breaks my heart that I cannot get any justice for my Son.

Dianne your right work was distracting for a few minuets on and off I was only in for 3 hours the students were so lovely and really pleased to see me. But I feel disloyal to James does that make any sense. I don't want him to feel I'm moving on. Does that make any sense. I'm so sad I've gone back as I'm not focusing my time on James. Sorry I'm so confused.

Kate I loved how you related our lives to a quilt being stitched together "bits and pieces joy and sorrow". I just want to thank you all for your words of encouragement and comfort without which I don't know how I would cope. I keep thinking of Susan's words you either become" better or bitter" and I really don't want to become bitter and I try not too let that into my heart. But it's not easy because I do envy people around me their Son's

Laurie I too thought about you today and your daughter hoping yesturday went well. The coke bottle was amazing I wish I could have a sign like that.

Much love to you all God Bless Georgina x ❤️

[Jeff's Mom]

Georgina, I first looked into the site not long after Jeff died. Even reading the posts failed to comfort me at that time. I was in shock, disbelief, and a temporary numbness had set in. It was my way of protecting myself from the full head on realization of what had occurred. My head and heart were far too fragile to face it as it was. I drifted away from the site for ages. My MIL was very ill and dying from cancer. I threw myself into her care and it was in a way selfish... as I also used it as an escapee from facing my grief. After she died I had a year or so to let things settle. It was during that time that I crashed. Big time. I was crushed with pain that wrapped itself around me and I could not breathe. I did not want to go on. I asked myself what were the options? There were only two. Sink or swim. I chose the latter. I did it at first for my husband and son. I could have cared less about myself. My husband is a quiet man. He keeps his grief close to the chest.  We talked and talked and eventually by supporting each other through the good and bad days we managed to put one foot in front of the other. Then Ross was diagnosed with cancer. It seemed impossible to me. Had we not been give enough on our plate to deal with? Again...we had to face that need to survive. I know these are early days for you. Losing your precious James seems unbearable. And it is...as it is for me without my Jeff. But I promise you this...as will Dee, Sherry, and many others on this site further along...it will eventually start to lift. This dark cloud that has you struggling for air. It takes a long time to go through the stages. Many times you will find yourself taking a few steps back. There will be times that you will begin to feel guilty for feeling happy again. This is all normal. Go easy on yourself. You MUST take good care of yourself. You are not good to anyone if you are not good to yourself. Your husband needs you as you do him. This is a time to talk and lean on each other. Sometimes just silence in walking along the beach with your dogs in each others company is all it takes to know you are not alone . You have each other. I know how hard it is to hear about other peoples children. The reality is that it is not going to change. You will always remember James when you hear these stories. Try to remember that they simply do not understand. It is not their fault. Some people are more sensitive to your hurting than others. Please know that we are all walking this same path and truly understand. Love, Kate

[Jeff's Mom]

Laurie, the brown building in the background picture is the Banff Springs Hotel. The original building was built in 1888 by the Canadian Pacific Railroad (CPR) It was then rebuilt in 1911 and is now a Fairmont Hotel. The hotel has spectacular views of The Rockies. We have stayed there twice in past years. The boys enjoyed their opportunity to play golf and they have an amazing Golf Course.   This time we opted to stay at a lodge.

 

Many lakes in the Rockies appear a turquoise blue. They are glacier lakes. As the glacier moves...rocks and debris build up inside and underneath the ice. The rocks grind up against the walls of the mountains and produce a fine powder. It is called rock flour. When light hits the water in spring the rock flour filters out all colours of the spectrum except blue/green and turquoise. In early spring is when it is most noticeable. It really is quite breathtaking.

[InHeavensKeeping]

Kate I know your right, you Susan, Dee, Sherry and Dianne have all given me such good care and advice. If I'm honest I'm not taking very good care of myself and the results are starting to show. I'll try I promise.

I had a visit on Sunday from one of my Son's best friends girlfriend she was talking about good times with James. And I got upset because I can't remember the good memories all I go over is the bad and sad. My minds seems blank otherwise I'm scared I've forgotten. I'm loosing the sound of his voice. It's just too hard.

Hugs to you all Georgina x

[ericasmom]

Laurie, so funny that you apologized to we teachers...no need, we get it believe me. Your Christina has done some damn hard work, she will need the freedom from that for a while. Does she have ideas for work? Tell her we all are waving our imaginary pom poms in her general direction. Hooray.

 

Georgina, no, it is not weird to want to stay in the fog and ache of your Son's leaving. We have to kind of walk through the surreal hallways of our new lives, absorbing the facts of the matter adn replaying them until we find our way out of that stage. I don't think it is James though, that would feel sad about your moving forward in enjoying some moments at work, I think that you are worried that you will forget James, but you won't Sweetie. You won't. James will sound the trumpets and sing when you are able to laugh a bit, he will be so glad that you will be able to feel the sun on your face again, but our Angels get it, they know that this takes time.

I think that you are worried that if you have a nice time with the kids that it means you are letting go of James, but when you are ready, you will see that there is no letting go of James, he is with you forever. You are always always going to be Mum. I am sorry that your Husband must deal with depression. No easy task, my sister also deals with this. I am saying extra prayers for you both to find something to smile about tomorrow.

 

Kate, Happy Victoria Day, may those that come up for the weekend be respectful and joyous.

Oh Trudi is making her way, she is going through all of that crazy difficult paperwork that she must fill out. She is in contact with her Daughter often and her brother. She is finding her way.

[Jeff's Mom]

Dee, thank you for letting me know about Trudi. We woke up this morning to brilliant skies. The sky is an intense blue and the sun is shining. Today I plan to work in my gardens and hopefully go for a bit of a hike into Jeff's bench. I see that the bog begonias are in full bloom. The leaves are not unlike a begonia and the blooms are a cheery yellow shade. They carpet the low lying areas throughout the woods. What an amazing sight to see. My house wrens have finally arrived back to their houses. Now I know spring has finally arrived.

 

 I would also like to add how much I appreciate the effort that teachers take to  help the younger kids put together those treasured home made cards, etc. I also have a wooden spoon that Jeff made in Shops that has a long handle that is so long that you almost have to stand on a chair to use it. I can't remember exactly how young he was at the time. He was so proud of it.  I always made a point of using it when he was around in my kitchen. I have to say that they have helped to give me many moments of pleasure and added smiles when I now look at them. Oh, so important... particularly now! Have a decent day everyone. Kate 

[TearsInHeaven]

 For Your 1st Birthday in Heaven...

   We love you and miss you every day. This will always be your special day.

 

 

If Roses grow in Heaven,

Lord please pick a bunch for me,

Place them in Michael’s arms

And tell them they’re from me.

Tell him that I love him and miss him,

And when he turns to smile,

Place a kiss upon his cheek, and hold him for a while.

Because remembering him is easy

I do it every day.

But there is an ache within my heart that will never go away.

 

[Jeff's Mom]

Michael, surround your Mom and family with your loving spirit today as they remember your birthday. Wishing you a day filled with beautiful and loving memories.

[rlolheiser]

Thinking of Michael and his heavenly birthday..  may your family feel you close to them....  my thoughts go with you all

[ericasmom]

MICHAEL DEAR-

 

Happy Heavenly Birthday- and while we know that you are more than fine, more than happy in your new home, please sweep into the house and sit beside your Momma today, let her feel your presence in the form of peace.

 

 

Dianne, God bless you on this difficult and yet lovely day. MIchael's birthday will always hold magic, just like you will always hold him in your big heart.

[InHeavensKeeping]

Dianne I am thinking of you especially today as your Micheal has his 1st birthday in heaven.

God Bless you Gxx

[daveydow1]

Yikes !  Am I ever behind......been so busy.....can't catch up   

Oh well,  here goes.

 

HAPPY   HEAVENLY   BIRTHDAY,   MICHAEL........ANGEL 

 

Dee-----We now have lilacs; and the clematis, and silver lace vines

are coming along......they're new....just planted last summer, so are

still small.  Hope they will grow nicely.....so far,...so good.  How are

your flowers progressing? 

 

Dianne---Thinking of you and sending prayers, friend..... A very painful

time for you......I'm sorry. Lovely poem you posted...thanks.  Hang on,

and keep coming back to BI.

 

Kate----Good to see your post. Loved your story about the wooden spoon

that Jeff made for you.  I have kept so many of the things that Davey made

for me when he was little......These things are worth their weight in gold,

aren't they?  Treasures to hold close.  Thanks for the pic of the flowers,

and the magnificent scenery pictures......just lovely!

 

Georgina----Oh, I so, know what you mean about the guilt feelings, and

the sad memories taking over.  This happens when one is so very early

on this journey. As Kate said.....early times are shrouded with shock,

disbelief, and numbness....we can't think of anything but our beloved

child and how much we miss them....days seem filled with longing and

so much regret.  All the 'if only' thoughts crowd in.  I remember feeling

guilty if I played any of my music on the stereo, and only listened to

hymns.....so much guilt & regret.  As you say......when James' friends

relate stories of happy times with him,  it can only make you sad.  It

is sad times,  I know,...and I am so sorry for you.  As I remember,  after

a time, the memories would bring a little smile, and little-by-little

more smiles.  Of course this won't be the case early on this road...I so

understand.  Please keep coming here where we all understand.

 Peace & comfort, friend.

 

Cherry----Good to see your post. Thanks for the pics. Kylie is, indeed,

a beautiful little girl.

 

Laurie----Jessesmom----My husband has planted some veggies (potatoes,

beets, and onions) so far.  We're going to cut back a wee bit this year, I

think.  Too large of a garden can get ahead of us, I'm afraid.   

Yikes!.......a BEAR visit. ???   I sure hope that he has decided to move on!

A bit scary.....(and I griped about a stray opossum poking around our yard !)    

Better a possum than a bear!

 

Susan-----You said it so well...about finding peace & comfort at the BI site. I

remember when I first came on BI......I felt like a stranger who had stumbled into

a foreign land....shocked & disoriented....then as I kept reading (and relating) with

all the people who were on here at that time,...and finally began posting, I knew

that I had found a place where people truly could understand my sorrow.  I

believe that those who are able to keep coming to the site will eventually find

solace from those who understand and share.

 

Continuing to send prayers for our BI friend,  Trudi.

 

WISHING    PEACE   AND  TRANQUILITY   TO   ALL   INDIGOS.

 

davey&Lisasmom,    Sherry

 

 

[tobyfreefoot]

here come the tornadoes again.haven't heard from boys. they are in norman allison is just north of moore  last time allison was able to get the babies in an underground shelter. this time she is at home so scared she is throwing up. kids are asleep. pillows in closet. they are all in the path. nothing i can do but wait. kicking myself for not getting the girls helmets.

 

here is a poem that fell out of my pen upon awakening. that never really happened to me before so here it is:

 

I stagger under its weight,

this anvil of love,

tethered to my heart.

I set it down.

My arms ache from its burden.

I rest upon it.

It holds me up.

I try to move forward.

It pulls me back.

I never wanted it,

But I will never give it up.

My dance steps are shortened by my new partner.

Sometimes crushed beneath it,

I crawl out and drag it with me.

Slowed by my onus,

I try to accept that I will never run again.

I never wanted it,

But I will never give it up,

This anvil of love,

tethered to my heart,

My dead son.

 

oh crud that just issued a warning for my area lol i better go

[Mermaid Tears]

Dianne....all of us on this site....will know all the emotions that will roller-coaster over you on this date....

for on this date...the clouds fell away...and that angel was placed in your arms and heart...

and we want you to know....he isn't that far away from you now...

really he isn't....

I use to hold you in my arms...and now I hold you in my heart....

there is a slight degree from arms and heart...

He is there with you.

[Mermaid Tears]

I so love that poem, Gretchen...

[Mermaid Tears]

I don't think our children are 'dead'....

for some reason...

[wgreenlee]

Happy Heavenly Birthday, Michael!

 

I truly believe you are there with all of our beloved children, and it is a good place.  God brought us together here in the midst of our grief, so how could He not bring our children together.

 

Dianne...

 

I know how hard this day is for you, and am hoping there were some smiles with loving memories to help sustain you.

[ericasmom]

Gretchen, if poems like that fall from your pen, well then, keep holding that pen. Lovely and wonderful poem. May you all get through this round of tornadoes, I know that you have all been in the storm shelters too much this season. Be careful. Keep writing.

 

Sherry, so many flowers are blooming or setting their blooms. The indigo has many buds, just love that plant, and we have three of them. The scotch broom were just planted today, one cranberry colored and the other yellow, hoping that we can keep them going this year, they did not come back as they are supposed to. We'll see. The anenome, the forget me nots, the bluebells, all were beautiful  and the grape hyasith is gorgeous. The window boxes have been planted. I used a variety of things, tall red salvia, nastirtium, and zinnas in three, while the other posts have a variety of other plants. It is a true awakening. The coreopsis is coming up along with the wild phlox, which I love, the geraniums are dancing out there and the hostas have gotten huge, many variety. Pretty pretty.

I played with Erica this morning while husband and Daughter in law and baby-man hung pictures. I had a lovely time. Erica now can identify bird-poo everywhere we go.

When I got home I ate lunch and went for my first bike ride of the season, 10 miles. Now to bed, almost there...

 

Sleep well All

[wgreenlee]

Gretchen...

 

That poem was written from a heart of grief, but also one of amazing love.  Thank you!  It speaks to me of a grief so profound that it is impossible to let go...no matter what anyone ever says...it is our's until the end...the day I see my son again he will know I carried him around with me every minute of every day and that my love never faded.  In fact, it grows...it grows...with every instant I can remember being with him...his voice...his smile...his laugh...his song.  The simple fact that God allowed me to have him close for the precious years I did will never be enough, and so I create new memories of old ones to keep him with me.  One day I hope that carrying that "anvil" will give my grief muscles strength enough to give me peace, but I will never stop carrying it.  It is who I am now...

 

Susan...

 

I, too, don't think of my son as being dead...my mind simply cannot comprehend that...he is just gone on a long trip that I wasn't invited on...but one day I will be...

[wgreenlee]

 

One day I will play catch with my son again and it will be my dream come true.

[wgreenlee]

Sleep well, Dee, and may Eri visit you and tell you all about her day.

[Mermaid Tears]

Wow...thanks Wade....I don't think I can show that to Daniel....he was the boy's coach for all their sports...

I am grateful for that, though....and yes....how many times I thought of that movie...

and then...how many times has my Jeremy come into how he looked..talked...sports   baseball...he was like Brooks...even the older Dad...like you and Daniel....so many photos are like yours and Brooks....uncanny...but that is the way of this site...to bring us together....

[wgreenlee]

This sums it all up...

 

[TearsInHeaven]

Thank you all for your well wishes and thoughts yesterday for Michael's birthday.  As many of you who have past that first birthday know, the day was brutal.  I wasn't sure we would make it nor sure that I wanted to. Several of his friends sent" messages" relating how much they missed him.   His best friend came over to see that we were ok.  And now it is morning and another day and we got through it. I saw something yesterday that was a random billboard that said---one hour at a time, one day at a time, one step at a time.  Made me feel like it was directed at me. I never saw it before and it is a road I travel frequently.

 

Also in looking at all the sayings and poems out there on the internet I came across one that was so fitting for me and my children.  Whenever something would go wrong or get tough I NEVER used the words "move on". Of course, little did I know how  I would come to HATE those words.  I always told them that life was their book  and sometimes it was time to turn the page and start a new chapter.  I came across this yesterday.

 

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

(A bit late here....)

 

Dianne, sending you gentle thoughts today for your Michael's birthday in heaven.

 

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

( A bit early here...)

 

For Wade as you approach Brook's birthday tomorrow...

 

[Mermaid Tears]

[ericasmom]

Hi Gang,

thanks Wade for the sleep wishes, I actually had those horrid frustrating dreams where you cannot call anyone because the phone in your dreams is not your own but you don't know why, and when you dial 911, you get information not emergency...how glad I was to wake up from that one. But thanks for the happy thoughts. When do you end the school year? Our last day is June 5th and there is much to do prior to this, including giving another summative test which essentially is their report grades in reading. It is long and labor intense but it is what our country and district chooses to do. Most teachers would love the time back to do wonderfully rich lessons like we used to. Oh well. I am making it as fun as I can. This will end my 21st year of teaching. I will tutor a few kids in the summer out on my backyard deck.

 

It was supposed to storm and downpour today, yesterday and the day before that...we had about 5 drops of rain, no storms, everything is rather dry. The winds are strong though, the storms passed us by and went to Indiana, be careful Dianne and Sandy.Someone else here from Indiana too, but my brain does not hold onto names. Sorry.

 

Gretchen, I so hope that all is well in Oklahoma now, and that the season will just settle down some and give you all a break.

 

We worked in the garden today, will try to post photos later, I didn't do much beyond some weeding but every little bit counts.Husband planted some cana which take some deep holes to dig. His shoulder does not like him much.

 

Love to All-

[TearsInHeaven]

Wade, God give you and your wife peace tomorrow on  Brooks' birthday.  

 

Brooks--

       Can you hear the skies whispering Happy Birthday in your ear?  

 

[ericasmom]

BROOKS-

May the Angels be singing all of your favorite songs today, as you make up some new lyrics and raps to the rhythms of the wind. Dance with my Erica won't you, she will swoon with your smile. I know that you will make sure to breeze into your Dad and Mom's day, letting them know that you are very near...this date rings like the sweetest bells Brooks, your day.

[MissKylie]

Happy Birthday Brooks... If by chance your mom and dad look up in heavens , let them hear in their hearts the happy laughter from a birthday party high above...

 

Have my little Kylie join your party too... She loves parties.

 

 

 

Mommy Cherry

[rlolheiser]

Happy Heavenly Birthday Brooks..  shine with our angels and may your parents feel your peaceful presence... Blessings to you all

[tobyfreefoot]

BROOKS lean down to your parents and let them hear you singing loud and clear. HAPPY BIRTHDAY

[tobyfreefoot]

MICHAEL  i'm always a day late and a dollar short. i hope you let your mama know you were celebrating the day she gave you life

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY

 

[InHeavensKeeping]

Wade you and your wife are in my thoughts and prayers on Brooks Birthday.

God Bless Georgina x

[flocicero]

Brooks , happy birthday....I know you will sing in the angels choir.....give your mom & dad a hug...they love you so....

[flocicero]

Hi everyone, I guess my posts of the last few days never made it....I haven't been around for a bit...life is so busy, my company recently acquired new senior living communities & I've had to assist with some transition....it's good to be so occupied ...gives the mind a break from the constant grief...Diane , I'm late in wishing your Michael a Heavenly happy birthday - his first without you....May god bless you & your family...

It's been 8 months since my Michael left me & still feels so raw...I wake up every day asking my self if this is actually real....I don't seem to want to believe it....I'm not sure where life is going anymore....my husband and I never seem to be on the same page....I want to talk about Michael freely but he can't ...he walks away or changes the subject....

Wade, it was so thoughtful of you to buy flowers & a Mother's Day card for your wife from Brooks.....so sweet.....I bought myself a card from Michael...it really is a perfect card...could have been written from a child in heaven.....

My stepdaughter & granddaughters are visiting this weekend (this is the relationship that Michael had nurtured & would never have been possible if not for him). We are celebrating birthdays for both my stepdaughter & my 8 year old granddaughter - I'm excited to have them here....

My house in Wisconsin still hasn't sold...it does need work but we priced it with that in mind....maybe Michael doesn't want to let it go...we have so many memories in that house ....I can feel him there whenever we go up to check on the house & visit family & Michaels resting place. If it doesn't sell by July, we'll take it off market & do some updates & use it as our 2nd home ....maybe it will become our first home again someday soon .. I still want to move back ...it just all has to fall into place....

Wishing everyone a peaceful night....

[wgreenlee]

My poem last night when sleep evaded me...but time with my son showed we are still together.

 

The rhythm of the rain

In sync with my heart

Falling slowly against the pane

Tells a story of so many days apart

 

I feel them on my face

Slowly and softly they flow

A warm bittersweet embrace

One not felt since long ago

 

Replenishing life on earth

Scouring away the pain

Bringing about new birth

Each one a memory to remain

 

Of life and a bond of love

Laughter from days long gone

Now falling silently from above

Something I always depended on

 

Angels crying in their ethereal plane? 

No, these tears are my own

Falling slowly with the rain

 

Two were one and now one is alone

 

Thank you all so much for the birthday wishes.  Brooks and I spent our birthday together and new memories were made.  It was enough.  His friends remember him and it was enough.  There were visits to his grave and it was enough.  I miss him so, but it will have to be enough.

 

You are all so special...this is an unending journey till we meet our precious children again, but I found a little more hope today than yesterday, and it was enough.  I will go again tonight to see Brooks one more time and tell him of all the birthday wishes we received.  It is so beautiful there with his lights and the bunnies running around everywhere and the birds hanging around near us.

 

Dee...

 

Sometimes I think of what it would be like to not be a teacher, and then today I remember why I still am.  My students were so empathetic with lots of hugs.  Teenagers can be a handful, but they are so full of love.  My fellow teachers were so awesome too.  Renea brought a big ol' box of baked goods from this wonderful shop, and we all loaded up to get through another day of testing.  One more day!

 

Thank you all for compassion, understanding, and love!!!

 

A little slice of heaven, maybe.

 

[Mermaid Tears]

Wade.....it is the most saddest kind of day when a parent is faced with that morning when they wake up and remember the day of joy....when that child was placed in our arms...and hearts....and have to face that day when that child is not on this earth home....

    the first one I had to face I wanted to 'run away'....where to was not thought about....

it was just my reaction to not wanting to face it...

   I am relieved that you were in a circle of caring people...

hugs mean so much....

  your poem speaks to all of us here....it is like you read our thoughts, too....

So....here is a poem for you....and Brooks....I keep a copy of it by my computer and I re-read it often....when I read it I hear John David's voice...and the poem carries his sense of humor...and our relationship with each other....

I can only hope you can feel as if Brooks is talking to you...

 

(the original was titled..'Ask My Mom'....but I am changing it around for you...and Brooks...)

 

Ask My Dad....author: Unknown

 

My Dad, he tells  a lot of lies,

He never did before,

But from now until he dies,

He'll tell a whole lot more.

Ask my dad how he is,

And because he can't explain,

He will tell a little lie,

Because he can't describe the pain.

Ask my Dad how he is,

He'll say "I'm alright."

If that's the truth, then tell me,

Why does he cry each night?

Ask my Dad how he is,

He seems to cope so well,

He didn't have a choice you see,

Nor strength to yell.

Ask my Dad how he is,

"I'm fine, I'm well, I'm coping"

For God's sake Dad, just tell the truth,

Just say your heart is broken.

He'll love me all his life,

I loved him all of mine.

But if you ask him how he is,

He'll lie and say he's fine.

I am here in Heaven,

I cannot hug from here,

If he lies to you don't listen,

Hug him and hold him near.

On the day we meet again,

We'll smile and I'll be bold,

I'll say, "You're lucky to get in here, Dad,

With all the lies you told !"