Members Mermaid Tears Posted April 13, 2015 Members Report Share Posted April 13, 2015 Dee...your GRANDbabies are so close in age...and I remember well....first taking care of my first set of twins..our identical twin GRANdsons...Alex and Josh....and learning to care for two at a time....then...we had our second set of twins...fraternal twins...Hunter Bear and TayTay....I had learned a lot...so when the second set was born...and I went to help...I was the Rock Star Nonnie coming in to save the day..... I, too, would be worn completely out...by 6 PM.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted April 13, 2015 Members Report Share Posted April 13, 2015 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sistergldnhair66 Posted April 14, 2015 Members Report Share Posted April 14, 2015 A short note....I've got some sort of flu/bug that has knocked me down...for over a week now, I never remember feeling so sick. I read every day. My heart is with you all..I had a bad time this weekend. The vision of my son, the suffocating feeling that I will live the rest of my days without him..too much to bear Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Shannon-Trista'sMom Posted April 14, 2015 Members Report Share Posted April 14, 2015 Just dropping by quickly too. Surreal, I agree. Your comic hit it on the head. That feeling of being 'on the outside looking in'. Eileen, I know that suffocating feeling. It does slowly get a little easier to breathe. I really hope you feel better soon. Susan, So often one the pictures you post is exactly what I need to hear. Thank you. Wade, That feeling you describe of going to those places that hold memories of Brooks and wanting to collect any pieces you can find. I feel that way too so much. I am like that with Trista's things. Someday, I know I'll share them but for now I keep them close, all the pieces of her that I can. I'm glad that Brooks' friends were there when you went to his site. I'm sure it was good to see them there. I haven't ever come to Trista's site when her friends are there. I see the signs of them in the things they leave though. I loved seeing the pictures you shared. His smile in that second picture with his royal flush made me smile to... contagious. Dee, I'm glad you had such a nice trip to the zoo with the little ones. I know they bring such joy to your heart. Our weather has been so nice here for a few days. Aiden has loved being outdoors. He keeps asking if it's summer yet so we can get the sprinkler out. I love seeing the pink return to his cheeks. Laurie and Susan, I also skipped my cousin's wedding. I felt awful. She is one of the sweetest people in the world. She lit candles for my Grandpa and for Trista as part of her ceremony and on her honeymoon sent me a picture of Trista's name written in the sand. She completely understood though. I just can't do social much right now. Georgina, I'm thinking of you as you deal with the courts. I know it's such a hard thing. Becky, I didn't realize how much you've had to deal with health wise and I so agree that this grief and the fight you had to fight for so long could have had such an physical effect. I am still dealing with the court system but have had to resign myself to the fact that I will never see real justice. Gretchen, I loved the pictures and I'm so glad you and Marshall had that time together at the chalk art show. Sending love to all and wishes for sweet Angel dreams. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted April 14, 2015 Members Report Share Posted April 14, 2015 OK....it is ok....to feel like you have the flu....it is Ok....to feel like you have never felt before...it is OK.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted April 14, 2015 Members Report Share Posted April 14, 2015 Eileen.....I so remember feeling as if I had a bad case of flu...insomnia was my best friend....and I would Zombie walk through the days....even feverish..I would be restless and then paralyzed...had a hard time breathing ...and where others would want to 'talk it out'...I wanted silence and I did not want to talk to anyone...even hard for me to talk to my adult children....tears would make a slow track down my face....or I would have wracking sobbing....Daniel and I could not comfort each other for we were in such a 'shock suit'...rather shy of hurting the other with the mention of his name....I could not get comfortable sitting or laying down...reclining....nothing could bring me a restful comforting feeling.... I guess it is just a method of the madness...Now I am in my 3rd year...and there are times I can speak his beautiful name...with the casual everyday kind of way we always did....or.....I can feel that little 'choke'...and tears spontaneously fill my eyes... it is still a hit or miss....I do not trust myself to have any control over my tears...I have a tiny bit of discipline in my 'thought processing'....when the 'WHY'.....the 'I SHOULD'....the 'WHAT IF' and then the 'FEAR' creeps in.....I stop and re-read something I wrote...to remind myself I do not have SUPER HUMAN CONTROL.I am just a little Mommie that has SUPER HUMAN LOVE. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted April 14, 2015 Members Report Share Posted April 14, 2015 Dee----wow......you sure have been a busy one. So nice that you went to the zoo with the grandies. Thanks for reminding me that when we see families outtogether, and feel sad because we think our family is no longer complete.....thatthe family we are seeing just may also have their heartaches underneath, andmay be trying to do the best they can to just hang on, too. So true. In a neighboringcounty, there has been 20 overdose cases last week, ......with 8 deaths. Someone hasbeen dealing some bad heroine laced with strong fentanyl. So very sad. Georgina-----Sending prayers for justice for your dear son, James. Thanks for the pic.James is a handsome young man. I'm here holding you in my thoughts, as thecourt session comes up. Peace to you. Susan-----Thanks for the screen shots.....I always read all the ones you post. Especiallylike the ....."Please don't tell me......". So many true ones there. Also, the one thatsays: "When people walk away......let them." I feel that when they walk away.....(andmany of us have experienced this).......that it is not worth the stress and sorrow to tryto follow them. Laurie-----Good to see your post. I haven't been on BI as much lately due to anasty respiratory virus that has plagued me. Thanks for the painting by Monet.....also one of my favorite artists. This one is sooo peaceful. Becky----Thanks for your kind words. Hoping that you are feeling better now. Wade-----Thank you for the nice poem, and all the great pics. Especially love theone of Brooks as a baby,.....lying beside you. Priceless....precious picture. When mybaby, Lisa, was 5 mo. old, we had only a small camera.......not very good.We have very few pics of her,.....and none with Lisa & myself together. We had picturestaken at one of those picture booths in the mall. The pic with my husband and Lisaturned out good, but the one with me & Lisa did not come out at all.....never got it.She died one month later. PEACE AND COMFORT TO ALL INDIGOS. Davey&Lisasmom, Sherry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted April 15, 2015 Members Report Share Posted April 15, 2015 Sherry, the bad heroin situation is terrible, I have heard that this is happening again. Seems like every few months it occurs somewhere in the US. Indiana is experiencing a huge uptick in heroin use, more and more kids and adults getting hooked. I don't get it...we know that it is almost immediately addictive, what would drive one to say, Okay. My nephew did, and he's been an addict for several years now. I just wish that there were no such drug as heroin, nor meth. Sherry, we have an owl nearby, the hooting throughout the night last week, so hauntingly beautiful. I imagine little babies being born in a big nest somewhere close. I am sorry you are dealing with the upper resp. infection. Many have it right now...comes on fast from what I see. Please take good care, plenty of fluids and honey for the soothing affects. I am going to bed nice and early, just seem so very tired these last few days, the tree pollen is quite high and my allergies are very big right now, I think it is that which is making me tired. I think of you all and say prayers for not just survival, but one day, life with more ease, less strife. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted April 15, 2015 Members Report Share Posted April 15, 2015 I think of you all and say prayers for not just survival, but one day, life with more ease, less strife. Thank you, Dee....and Sherry....I sorta 'panic' if I don't read a post of yours....isn't that crazy..?? Here I am...68 years old...successful in business...and all ....but I am on another playing field now...that is ok....in fact....you make it all seem 'ok'....and 'ok' is what is right for now...thank you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted April 15, 2015 Members Report Share Posted April 15, 2015 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members InHeavensKeeping Posted April 15, 2015 Members Report Share Posted April 15, 2015 Hi thank you all for keeping me in your prayers and good wishes. Our day in court was an absolute nightmare five hours of pure torture listening to how our Son died. The verdict that was given was 'Road Traffic Accident'. I think it was the third most harrowing thing I've been through in my life absolutely exhausting and so very very sad. The truck driver was a horrible man very defensive and belligerent, he didn't say sorry he seemed like he didn't care just felt that the whole thing was a big inconvenience for him. He said his statement and left he didn't show any remorse at all and saying sorry for your loss to us does not mean he's guilty. I haven't told you all this before because I couldn't but the driver was saying that James Jumped in front of his lorry. It has nearly finished me off the stress and the worry this has caused but thank God we had other witnesses who saw the accident and saw james crossing the road and in the middle of the road when the lorry hit him. The driver was going his maximum speed and witnesses felt that he was distracted in some way and didn't see him. But our solicitor said that suicide would come up because of what the driver was saying. I knew in my heart that James wouldn't do that and I couldn't stand to even say it because I Felt it was disrespectful to James. At one stage in the inquest I did think they were going to say suicide but the coroner stated that the angle that James hit the truck proved it wasn't suicide as there were markings where he hit the lorry then traveled once hit. I'm still in shock at things that were said So exhausted I'm beyond sleep. I felt a brief glimpse of relief and then reality kicked in and that horrible dread feeling that this is real and my beautiful boy is never coming back.I hope his isn't too much information for you all just wanted to share it. Much love to you all God Bless xxx Georgina Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members InHeavensKeeping Posted April 15, 2015 Members Report Share Posted April 15, 2015 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted April 15, 2015 Members Report Share Posted April 15, 2015 Georgina----Oh...I am seeing red over the behavior of that horrid driver whokilled your son. I am so very sorry that the court day was such a harrowing and sadordeal for you. I know those feelings also. That man who hit your son has noheart or soul.....to just leave the courtroom without saying he was sorry. It showswhat a contemptible jerk he is. You are probably right that he just felt it was aninconvenience to him......selfish and hateful attitude. We also had to endurebehavior such as that from the one who killed our son, Davey. He mumbled thathe was 'sorry' to his family..... (no words to us)....then stepped away, and out of the court he wenton his merry old way. I am so sorry for your heart wrenching experience.....andon top of your already broken heart. Know that I am thinking of you and sendingprayers. Peace to you, friend. Dee-----How nice to have an owl hooting nearby. I, too, love to hear their call.We have not had them lately, but with several chipmunks scurrying around thefoundation of the house outside, lately,....the owls will no doubt be coming into the close trees. The area drug task force is trying to find out the source ofthe heroin laced with fentanyl that is so deadly, and killing young people. By now, though, the source is probably 5 states away. Such a sad thing,especially for the families involved. Sorry about your nephew. I pray he cansomehow find his way out of the nightmare of addiction. Not much else to add tonight........feeling tired and headache-y. Guess I'll callit a night. WISHING PEACE AND TRANQUILITY TO ALL INDIGOS, ..... AND A LITTLE DREAM OF YOUR ANGEL Davey&Lisasmom, Sherry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted April 16, 2015 Members Report Share Posted April 16, 2015 Georgina, I just read your post to my husband. We both shuddered at the horribleness...We are so sorry and lift you and your family in prayers tonight... Sherry, thanks for your continued support for all of us.. Susan, thanks for all of the writings you post... And thanks to all of the Indigos who post here...sending gentle wishes... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Shannon-Trista'sMom Posted April 16, 2015 Members Report Share Posted April 16, 2015 Georgina,I'm so so sorry you and your family had to deal with this today. I have no words for awful this is. I'm sending you prayers and hugs. I'm thinking of you and sending prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted April 16, 2015 Members Report Share Posted April 16, 2015 Georgina, the pain that comes with this kind of day in court is indescribable, it feels like a kick to the gut, to the heart. In some ways we feel we are sent back to square one to begin grieving anew...I know that I felt taken back by some of what we experienced in court. Hearing the details is so very difficult for you, for any family member and loved ones. That others saw him moments before is somehow a relief, I was so glad that the young man from JimmyJohns restaurant saw Erica as nice person who just came in to get some carry-out food. She was in no hurry and she did not try to outrun the train...I wanted to hug him when he said this. I felt that the other side tried to make Erica sound dumb, to sound like she was careless. A lot of emotions go through you or you through them...know that this is normal. If you feel zapped of strength for the next three days or more, it is a normal response to this outcome. Try if you can to get outside as that is one way to feel closer to your James, and also one way to let yourself listen to the birds again. What more could James want than you listening to the sounds and enjoying the sights of spring?I am sending love and hope and more hope. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted April 16, 2015 Members Report Share Posted April 16, 2015 Georgina....many parents on this site has had to sit in court and wear their best dress of grief....to show up for their children...in hopes of finding 'that answer'.....that 'remorse'.....I have yet to hear of a parent that wanted nothing more than simple justice...... in fact....the parents had such a tight fit of 'shock suit'.....they simply wanted justice.....and that is what you wanted, too.... it is not a good day for you and yours....and I can hope that you and yours can hold each other and find a way to support yourselves in knowing you did all that you could humanly do for your James....cling to each other and know that there are some 'people' that are out of your control...and care.....the man that ran over your son is one....you do have control and care over each other....please shine what light you have for each other... 'the mills of God turn slow....but they turn everlastingly small'.... it is horrific and horrendous what parents, family and friends have to go through.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jeff's Mom Posted April 16, 2015 Members Report Share Posted April 16, 2015 Georgina, I am so glad that this nightmare that you have been dreading is finally over. I am so sorry that this man did not show some degree of remorse. It must have been terrible to sit there and listen to all of this. I agree with the others... and please consider taking Dee's advice. Your emotions have taken a beating and now is your time to heal. Kate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TearsInHeaven Posted April 16, 2015 Members Report Share Posted April 16, 2015 Georgina-- I am so sorry for this additional brick for you to have to carry. Why is it that the justice system stays so blind? Please try to make peace so that your suffering doesn't consume you. James will be there to put an arm around your shoulders and help you through another hard step. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members InHeavensKeeping Posted April 16, 2015 Members Report Share Posted April 16, 2015 Sherry, Laurie,Shannon, Dee, Susan, Kate and Dianne thank you all so much for your words of support We had to face the news paper article yesterdayand they sensationalised the story with the head line "30 year old jumped in front of lorry......." It had all the details of the inquest most of them wrong and then in tiny print that it was a Road Traffic Collision. I thought I would die! It had misquoted different parts of the inquest as well. I thought to myself will this torment never end. I've now had to contact the Press Complaint Authourity and I just don't need this added stress at the moment. I will try and take all your advise I seem to be exhusted just beyond tired. I have to try and come to terms with the justice System just allowing the driver to walk away. I can pursue a civil case but I'm told it has very little chance of a good outcome. I just don't get it and don't know what to do. I'm in a big black void trying to get out and I just can't. I'm sending much love and hugs to you all thank you for holding my hands through this. I know I wouldn't be here now without this site and all you caring compassionate people. Georgina xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted April 16, 2015 Members Report Share Posted April 16, 2015 Georgina, I too had some bad press at the beginning. I found out the name of the editor of each news source and confronted them directly. It did result in them changing some of the article information which was incorrect. I also put in a rebuttal in the comments section for each article so if anyone clicked on it they would be able to see the rebuttal. However, the sooner they can amend the article, the better. I would have my formal report there that contradicts them and tell them they are printing libel which is illegal at least here in the United States. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted April 16, 2015 Members Report Share Posted April 16, 2015 Georgina.....I have not walked the path you are walking.....many on this site have....please follow up on what Laurie has so graciously shared with you.....and all the other parents that have had that extra burden to carry... Of course...you are so empty.....grief by itself is very exhausting...This is a time to 'reach out' to others around you and enlist their help in answering and confronting the lies/misconstrued facts.... Journalism has gone by the pathway of lurid story telling....There is that old saying....'Don't believe anything you hear and only half of what you see'.... We know what pain your spirit is in....like someone beating a dead horse... It is so hard to have a rational mind when your whole world has fallen to pieces...I could not have a sane thought process for over a year.... We are here to hear you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted April 16, 2015 Members Report Share Posted April 16, 2015 And that is my life 'Before' and 'After'.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted April 17, 2015 Members Report Share Posted April 17, 2015 Very busy at school so unable to talk much, I should be on tomorrow. I have read however, the wonderful advice from all of you, supporting those newer on this path. It is in that action that you see how far your steps have taken you.Georgina, hang on Sweetie, the pain is searing, it is terrible, we are here adn wish we could make it that you and all those newer than us never had to know this kind of despair. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted April 17, 2015 Members Report Share Posted April 17, 2015 I feel I need to offer something up....I am here in my 3rd year of the passing of my Beautiful..Beloved...Boy....I am not in the tight 'shock suit' anymore...and I am not in the absolute...devastating...denigrating...pain...but I am trying to find a way to 'live'....on this earth home...which I know my boy would want me to...(if it was me that passed....I would want him to find a way)this is a horse of a different color though...he should be mourning me...and that is where the conflict...the foreign comes in...and I am placed here to find that way....and way of 'being' and 'been' and 'been through'....am still trying and seeking...and I miss my boy...oh...how I miss him...now...in so many small ways...that only I feel I feel....I miss my boy... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Shannon-Trista'sMom Posted April 17, 2015 Members Report Share Posted April 17, 2015 Susan,I can really relate to your words right now. I am nearing the end of this second year without my Trista. I have also felt some of that shock start to peel away. I am finding myself in a place of searching for what and who I am now, in this very different life. For the first two years I felt more frozen, I guess. I don’t really have the words. I needed to just learn how to breathe. I couldn’t even think about much more than that. Now, I am learning how to walk. Tiny steps and maybe in some ways sooner than I would have been ready if I hadn’t had so many life decisions that I was forced to make in those deepest darkest times. But I did it. Not always gracefully and I had to pick myself up more than once. But now I’m in a place of searching for who and what and how. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted April 17, 2015 Members Report Share Posted April 17, 2015 Shannon....many on this site feel as I do.....that we have been with you on your grief journey...invisible to your eye...but we feel as if we have held your hand...and walked and talked with you...in spirit of the heart. We have been with you as you were confronted with so many issues and challenges....as you were knocked down with your grief...and we mourn your Trista....along with our children... We do have to find another way in this foreign place on this earth home without that child...for we have our other children that still need us and look to us to help them learn to live without their sibling...or Aunt or Uncle...cousin...We really are not in this alone...and that is the cornerstone of our figuring out the 'how..where..what' in our today and tomorrow...I am not there...yet....for there are times I just want to lay down and stay there..times I just want my boy back..times I just don't want to 'be there for anyone'...sorta childlike....but...that is that layer of mourning that is still on me...I am better....not great...not horrible....just better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Shannon-Trista'sMom Posted April 17, 2015 Members Report Share Posted April 17, 2015 Susan,I feel as you do. I feel like I have a connection with all of you and your Children and the thought that our Children have a connection to each other is also a comforting thought to me. I’ve had times that I’ve felt very isolated in my grief… physically… but you all were here and that has helped me feel like I had some kind of anchor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JD99501 Posted April 17, 2015 Members Report Share Posted April 17, 2015 Susan,I feel as you do. I feel like I have a connection with all of you and your Children and the thought that our Children have a connection to each other is also a comforting thought to me. I’ve had times that I’ve felt very isolated in my grief… physically… but you all were here and that has helped me feel like I had some kind of anchor. Now there is a real statement. I am not a regular or a great contributor. In the tornado like quality of what your going through ANY anchor is appreciated. At least your finding consoling here and not at the end of pipe, bottle, or gun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members InHeavensKeeping Posted April 17, 2015 Members Report Share Posted April 17, 2015 Thanks Laurie. I have it in hand the Press Complaints Authority has taken them on for me. They are looking into it so let's hope We get some justice here. Susan thank you I felt every word you said we are here for you as well and Shannon, Laurie and Dee. You give so much of yourselves to help and guide us through this journey I just want to say I'm so grateful and I do pray and hold you and your sweet Angels in my heart too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted April 18, 2015 Members Report Share Posted April 18, 2015 Georgina....many parents that join this site has a 'problem' and sometimes...another parent has the answer....and 'bingo'...across the miles....one parent has one less hassle...to deal with....and it all comes from us sharing and caring... Surreal....I do believe you have tapped into the one force on this earth home that can bring you a sliver of healing...your creativity and imagination.... the fertile ground is what you have dug with your deep grief...you have your unique way to connect with other parents that have to face this kind of living with mourning...and keeping on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted April 18, 2015 Members Report Share Posted April 18, 2015 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted April 18, 2015 Members Report Share Posted April 18, 2015 I am at my parents right now...to be honest hitting a rather low spot...may I ask for prayers tonight? My mom found out John Edward will be here in our area...Madison, Milwaukee and by you Dee. I am considering going... Thanks to all and for everyone's kindness... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted April 18, 2015 Members Report Share Posted April 18, 2015 It is late Laurie....but we are both at that 3rd year...and I think we have so many similar and common issues...I don't think we have to be stronger or braver or better...I think sometimes it is time to dig out of this dark vast hole..Maybe I should dig harder...but I am not there yet....We have surprised ourselves with our courage...But we still miss our boys...and it is ok to just be where we are...If it is a low spot...it is 'ok'....You and Jesse David will have my prayers...If you can see John Edward....'you go girl'... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Shannon-Trista'sMom Posted April 18, 2015 Members Report Share Posted April 18, 2015 Laurie,Prayers are being sent and I'm holding you in my heart. We are all here... and about John Edward, I completely agree with Susan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted April 18, 2015 Members Report Share Posted April 18, 2015 Laurie, I am sending prayers of hope and love your way...being in a low, a valley of sorts is part of this life, we sometimes have to travel down and rummage around until we have what is needed to climb out again. Sometimes, it is in the valley that we discover something we need. I love John Edwards, have a book by him, loved his show when it was on. His shows generally fill up immediately. I miss his show for sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted April 18, 2015 Members Report Share Posted April 18, 2015 Laurie, I wrote this when I realized the trip down sometimes brings unexpected gifts. Mining for treasures A sleepless night, I become a miner for sleep, searching for the right spot, the right position, the right dream,but keep coming up empty so I decide to get up and try to string my words together like semi-precious stones; Citrine and green amber,jade and carnelian,capturing the absolute essence of the moments that created their colortheir luster.Circumstance under the earth-metamorphic mysteries changing one thing into another through heat and pressure.Heat and pressure, like grief and joy-that which causes humans to morph, those moments that caused us to change from one person into another. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TearsInHeaven Posted April 18, 2015 Members Report Share Posted April 18, 2015 For Laurie who needs an arm around her shoulders---- and for all of us who sometimes need the same: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TearsInHeaven Posted April 18, 2015 Members Report Share Posted April 18, 2015 When it seems that our sorrow Is too great to be borne,Let us think of the great familyof the heavy hearted into whichour grief has given us entrance,and inevitably, we will feel about us,their arms, their sympathy,their understanding. ------Helen Keller Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted April 18, 2015 Members Report Share Posted April 18, 2015 Laurie----So sorry you are in that dark place right now.....hang on, friend....and I'm sending thoughts & prayers for your comfort. Dee----Thanks for the lovely poem you wrote. So insightful, and inspiring.We were out in the yard today, and in our cornfield came three deer (does)running across and down over the embankment to cross the road. I hopedthat there were no cars or trucks coming up the road, so that they could cross safely. Luckily, there wasn't any, and they went on their way, andwere far over by the neighboring farm's back woods...so quickly.Went to visit my mom today....she's doing pretty well.....getting out tothe dayroom area to hear music and singers lately. She loves music.I took her cookies, and 'Reminisce' magazines. I get a bit sad when I'mtraveling to the nursing home, because I must pass a little schoolhousethat Davey attended when he was in 2nd grade.....it is no longer a school,but houses a pottery-making business, but the building still looks the same. Georgina-----So very sorry about the article in the papers, and the errorsin reporting the facts. This must be just crushing to your heart & spirit. I, so,know what you mean about it all. Wishing you comfort. Your dear son willalways be in your heart & soul,....and no one can take this away from you. Peace to you. WISHING PEACE AND TRANQUILITY TO ALL IN THE BEYOND INDIGO FAMILY. Davey&Lisasmom, Sherry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted April 19, 2015 Members Report Share Posted April 19, 2015 Sherry, sounds like a very nice day but oh, yes, I sure do get why you feel melancholy passing the little schoolhouse. Maybe going in to buy a pot might be nice, something made in a place that held so much goodness. Your Mom is sure a strong lady, so happy that she gets to listen to music and enjoy her new home. Georgina, Sherry reminded me here that you had to deal with false reporting...I am so sorry that this insult on top of your ache had to happen. When Erica was hurt, the local Michigan paper wrote that the gates were working, that the girl tried to outrun the train. Thankfully the next day the young man from the sandwich shop Eri had just visited, straightened the story out with the newspaper. Many of us called the paper and demanded a fix. So one night, (6 nights in the hospital) a young young reporter came to us in the ER trauma center and began to fix the story but ended up staying for several hours listening to stories from all of her friends and cousins. Stories many of which, I had never heard. His cheeks were damp by the time he got up to leave. He thanked us all and hugged many of us, and took his words back the newspaper and typed up the real event...and typed up a bit about the girl that lay down the hall hooked to machines...the girl very dearly loved.Our local paper back home after Erica died had a headline: Bad week for 2002 Grads. The same week that Erica died, a young lady same age, went to a Catholic high school, died in a water accident. The paper had the nerve to say...Bad week for 2002 grads. BAD WEEK? How friggin stupid, and I did let them know. Nobody should have to read lies or hyperbole about their Child. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted April 19, 2015 Members Report Share Posted April 19, 2015 Thanks to all who so kindly responded...I am truly grateful for the friendship offered here, such as the poem that Dianne posted, that in great tragedy we are initiated into a "new family" , only here have I found the needed understanding of the depths of child loss... Dee, I liked the poem with the reference to the semi-precious stones, I was just at a specialty shop yesterday looking at stones like these for my mom.... The last line in the poem about changing -- something I was contemplating on my drive down -- I believe I also read a piece by Shannon on this...the person I was before that fateful day is so gone and I have changed completely and continue to do so in my innermost core. Somedays I can get my balance and feel a bit grounded and other days, not so much. Susan, I also saw yesterday in the small shop I was at the weeping angel as a small garden statue, I immediately thought of you...it had a solar light with a small poem on the front... Sherry, I can understand those landmarks marking your son's moments in his life, I struggle tremendously with that...It was good to hear you could visit your mom and she is enjoying some of the activities a senior center has to offer... Kate, hope you are able to make your trip to visit the Grandies, thinking of you... I was able to get two John Edward tickets...my sister and I are going on Thursday to Madison. I don't know what to expect so we will see how that goes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted April 19, 2015 Members Report Share Posted April 19, 2015 Laurie, I am glad for you to go to the show in Madison with your Sister. I know you don't know what to expect, but I bet you'll feel the energy of many Angels. The little shop sounds like the little shop in Minnesota that the Ladies from Beyond Indigo and I visited when we gathered there. I love those little places whose polished stones glimmer and catch the light, the crystals hang and dangle, the mystical and spiritual symbols at home in their felt backings. Behind the little shop in Minnesota was a labyrinth, a tiny one. So cute, we walked it to see if we felt the spiritual awakening as we did, but mostly we just talked and talked and held onto each other. I hope that those that did meet in Nevada had a wonderful time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JD99501 Posted April 19, 2015 Members Report Share Posted April 19, 2015 My comic is finally available on amazon. $4/ free if you have kindle subscription. You can loan it to a friend and there is a free sample of it available. Here is the link http://www.amazon.com/LOSS-JD-Berry-ebook/dp/B00VCB7W2A My whole goal of the comic series to express the feelings and depth of what losing a child is like. Words simply don't cover it and that is why I used a comic book style. The vacuum that is left behind is a permanent waste land in your life. This is clearly obvious in the comic and those that have been through it will get it. I am not doing this to make money. My royalty is like 1.35 on each unit. It has cost me over 15k of my own "sweat" money just to get it to print. No loans, no borrowing, no kickstarter. One member has decided to use it in her blog and I first experienced an apprehension. After I looked at her blog I realized this is exactly what I wrote this for. And I hope she can reach a broad audience because I hope the comic series actually helps people. Hmm that has to be the most use of the word "hope" since my son passed. One review I got says:"I purchased this because I was curious about the PTSD aspects. I am an infantry Soldier in the U.S. ARMY with deployments to both Iraq and Afghanistan. After reading it for the fourth time I really started to understand what it was all about and the struggle within. I recommend this read people who enjoy reading things with meaning behind it. Can't wait till the next one becomes available." There is a lot of pain and suffering in these posts. I hope you can use the images and say," See this is what is like for me" A HUGE hug to all of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members InHeavensKeeping Posted April 19, 2015 Members Report Share Posted April 19, 2015 Hi I just wanted to say I was thinking of you Laurie when you asked for support. I'm sending you all this prayer and sorry it's late Laurie ❤️“Dear Lord, I pray for all my friends on this site that you would fill them with a deep sense of your peace and grace. I ask that you would surround them with your love and hope. Give them the strength to carry on and to know that they still have a purpose on this earth. Lord, on their darkest days be their light. On their loneliest days, be their friend. On their saddest days be their joy. May each day bring a brighter hope of the future.Thank you Sherry And Dee I'm struggling with all this trying hard to sort it. So hard I'm so tired. Much Love to you all God Bless Georgina x ❤️ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted April 19, 2015 Members Report Share Posted April 19, 2015 Georgiana, the exhaustion that comes with the battle on top of the grief...well there are no words to fully describe it. That is why we all remind each other to take extra good care of yourself during these high stress times, extra vitamin c to boost the immune system because as much as we wonder why we should take care of ourselves...we realize that getting run down and sick makes it all that much harder. Sleep when you can, eat small meals for a few days to make sure that your body is getting some protein throughout the day, drink a lot of water, it is the only way to replace the water you lose through tears. God bless you, may you feel the light of your Son and his deep and ever-living love. Surreal, I am happy that folks are finding your comic a helpful tool in their battle of the blues and the ache of loss. To have a soldier tell you that this is helping him explain how he is feeling is just great, it makes the process you have gone through to get this going, worth the time and money. I think that your Son must be smiling on you for the way your hand is reaching out to others through your creative soul. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted April 20, 2015 Members Report Share Posted April 20, 2015 Laurie.....I mentioned some time ago that I decided early on my grief journey that I would seek out a medium...and I am...I knew instinctively..that I would know the right time....we will all be with you when you go....in spirit. We know that there will be much emotion...much trepidation...much hope. We know how much courage it takes for a parent to go with heart in hand...and that lump in the throat....tears behind the eyes. I have given much thought in how I have changed...for me there was that 'instant' change....and now there has been a slow evolving turn and twist.....I am still a work in progress. Sherry....here in my town of Brenham....there is a memory in every street, corner...school...football field...baseball diamond..shops...grocery store..Walmart...the park where I walked has so many that I finally bought a treadmill so I could walk in my house....there is no place to hide. Surreal....I know it must make you feel a sense of accomplishment to have your grief create something that many can identify with and they do not feel alone in their deep despair..for I think that is a very strong element in someone's healing...that they are not alone. My Grama use to say...'If there is one...there is some'.... For me...being on this site has allowed me to join hands with those that walk the same streets on this grief journey...and I know I am not the 'only' one. Dee....I love the poem...but then again....each of your poems speak to me and my heart. Georgina....grief is exhausting. There seems to be no magic pill we can take to remedy it....except to 'self care'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted April 20, 2015 Members Report Share Posted April 20, 2015 This is so ME..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted April 20, 2015 Members Report Share Posted April 20, 2015 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JD's Mom, Becky Posted April 20, 2015 Members Report Share Posted April 20, 2015 duplicate post, sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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