Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted October 9, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 9, 2014 Suzie, I did go to a grief counselor for awhile. It helped some. My daughter also went later. I think you have to chose someone that has some real life experience in grief and loss, so they are not counseling from a textbook. Also if they share a similar belief system it is helpful. As far as grief groups, my daughter does attend one now that she has found. Some are stronger than others, if it is only you and the facilitator it is not much good (one person this happened to them). If it is an active group with bereaved parents it may be helpful to you. So it really depends what is available to you in your area. For me the online group worked better as I was having severe issues at first with driving anywhere. I also think that people tend to share more honestly in this setting and since I came from the world of Internet (I had been a web developer/content person in a previous life), I am very comfortable in this setting. It is finding what works best for you at this time. *************************************** Mary Ann, thank you for sharing about your "friendship" with your son, Steve. Jesse truly was my best friend in this life. I don't see what purpose it serves for the good to die young. One of the struggles of faith I have. **************************************** Here is the article on the capture of Ms. Rupnow, made front page news:http://www.leadertelegram.com/news/front_page/article_ad5a2d22-d842-559e-89d8-d8dc21d4f992.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SamDsmom Posted October 9, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 9, 2014 Suzie,Brad sounds like a wonderful son. I read what Mary Ann wrote also. It resounds here on this site. At Sam's service a mother of one of his friends told me that she used to wish her son would call her and check in when the boys were out in bad weather or just hanging out late like Sam did with me. As Laurie said, I too struggle with why the good ones seem to die so young. My husband is an over the road truck driver. I ride with him so we stay out driving all over the country. Before Sam died, we loved it. Afterwards, our marriage began to crumble. He was Sam's stepfather and even though he loved him he could never understand the depth of my grief. The impact and the way it has changed me. There have been so many unanswered questions, seeming police and city cover-ups, like a horrible movie. Anyway, I had nowhere to turn, thought I was crazy, began having panic attacks. I finally got my husband to go see a grief counselor in July. He and his wife lost their son and wrote a book about it. I think the one thing it did for me was to have someone look both of us in the eye and say, you are not crazy. This woman has lost the most treasured gift. She carried him in her womb for 9 months. She loved and nurtured him. This will never be over for her. But given time she will learn to live with it and hopefully be happy again. She is a different person now.I haven't been back to see him again. There is a support group that they run out of their church but I haven't been able to attend. I find that coming here and letting everyone get to know me and Sam has been a lifesaver. But I have learned that everyone grieves differently. I agree with Laurie that hopefully if you decide to go you can find a counselor who has been through this also.My husband's cousin lost a grandson a few years back. They had pretty muched raised him. Steven was 19 and killed in a car accident. He was another "good one". Martha told me once that she believed that God allowed it to happen because He knew th here was something much worse in store for him and He didn't want Steven to go through it. I'm not really sure about that but it gave her comfort.Laurie,So glad to read that article. I wonder if she had been drinking. Doesn't make much sense. I'm sure you are very relieved this morning. Well my husband has decided that he is tired of being on the road so think we are going to make some changes. Not sure what yet. We have a lot of ideas but not sure how it will pan out. I seem to be back at the point where all I can do is breathe. I do have some hope that it will be easier to pursue finding out what happened to Sam. I am missing him like crazy this last week. The fear of forgetting his voice and laugh are back on my mind. I get really focused on just being in my memories.Hope everyone finds peace today.Debbie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted October 9, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 9, 2014 Laurie....we are all so relieved that this 'this person'....is in custody....and we pray that justice will prevail for your Jesse David...it seems to be in sight now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted October 9, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 9, 2014 Laurie....thanks for sharing the newspaper article.... Suzie....one of my friends suggested I see a Grief Counselor in our town....I asked if they had lost a child....they said no..and I knew that no one could reach out and really 'help' me..unless they had lost a child... Many on this site has recognized how being in Mother Nature seems to give them comfort....my Grama use to say..'people that dig in the earth never go crazy'.....and I believe that God/Mother/Father of the Universe uses Mother Nature to heal us.....the wind to give us a hug...the rain to give us a kiss on the cheek from our child.... I am somewhat possessive of my grief....in that it is my grief....and I grieve in a way that my child was unique to me...it is a 'John David Grief' ...I will carry it and learn to live with it...and also to carry on...on this earth home without him by my side...I will learn how to honor him.....for me...it is a Mothering lesson in learning how to nurture him while he is in his first home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sholl1955 Posted October 10, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 10, 2014 Laurie, I am so glad that they located her. I can only imagine what you must be feeling right now. Suzie, you have come to a very caring site. Everyone here "get it" and give so much caring and support. We have received some good news. Rachel's tests turned out good. She has some minor issues but nothing that cannot be treated. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers for her. I think that I am going to have a hard time this month of October with all of the Breast Cancer Awareness.. Don't get me wrong, I am very passionate about a cure being found and I support this cause, but everywhere we look is a reminder of my sweet Sarah. The past two years it didn't really seem to bother me, but now just 9 days into the month It is difficult and painful. I am watching the COLTS/ TEXAS game and even there it is emphasized. I went to the grocery this evening and there were pictures of survivors around the store. I am happy for the survivors, I truly am, but I will admit I just don't understand why my girl isn't one of them. I know that this sounds so selfish of me. The amount of pain it brings is startling after 2 1/2 years, but I know it is part of the journey. I will hope that this month goes by as fast as all of the others do. Thank you all for being here to vent to. I think of each and everyone of you and you are in my prayers as you navigate your own journeys. Sandy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted October 10, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 10, 2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted October 10, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 10, 2014 sending a song tonight...there is a huge full moon....for those who want to listen....this is a song that my parents loved to dance to...and so....it has become a very favorite of mine.... that moonglow....I hope will glean on all tonight.... isn't it amazing....we have Sunshine...and Moonglow.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted October 10, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 10, 2014 Sandy....it is 'ok' to ask that big question...'WHY'......we all do on this site....every...every ....day.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jeff's Mom Posted October 10, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 10, 2014 JESSE, surround your family with your beautiful spirit today... as they recall all that was special about you. Laurie, you are in my thoughts and prayers today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jeff's Mom Posted October 10, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 10, 2014 Sandy, I am so pleased that you had good news regarding Rachael's tests. I am sure that it was a huge relief. I do know that feeling of awareness as we see others that have survived major illness. While we are pleased for them it does not take away our feelings of loss and hurt as far as our own child is concerned. It is so very hard. Susan, thank you for posting the song. Yes, Mother Nature does help to console as we walk this difficult path. I have been reading and thinking of everyone. We are about to celebrate our Thanksgiving weekend. The weather is supposedly calling for perfect temps. It will be a quiet occasion for us as we reflect on all that we have so much to be grateful for. Love to all. Kate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SamDsmom Posted October 10, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 10, 2014 Sandy,That is great about Rachel's test results. I'm sure that is a very scary time for you. I didn't loose my Sam to illness but I know that his accident had made me super sensitive to my other children as far as safety. I have similar reactions when I hear someone say that their guardian angel saved them or God intervened or they would be dead. Sometimes I wonder what made them different.Kate, I'm happy to hear that the weather is cooperating for your holiday celebration. My husband and I are interviewing for a job just 60 miles south of the Canadian border. I have very mixed feelings about it but it would be awesome to be able to explore some in the mountains we both love nature and outdoors.Susan, Thank you for sharing that video. It is beautiful. I am not very eloquent with words and find that music always touches my soul.Praying for peace today. Praying that we all find a little.Debbie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SamDsmom Posted October 10, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 10, 2014 JESSE DAVID, surround your family with your love today. Send them peace and hug them with your presence.Laurie,Thinking of you and your family today. Jesse David is on my heart and with you in spirit.Debbie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted October 10, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 10, 2014 JESSEyou are the sweet start to each day and the gentle prayer each evening, you are the song of the birds and the movement of the trees, you are the sunrise on a crisp morning, the snowfall that glistens over the fields, the new green blossoms of spring. You are a part of it all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members shorty16 Posted October 10, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 10, 2014 Jesse DavidSaying your name loud and clear Hugs to youColleen, Brian's mom forever Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Guest Posted October 10, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 10, 2014 Laurie, thoughts and prayers for you and your family. I am thankful that they were able to get this women and put her where she belongs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted October 10, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 10, 2014 Sandy, thanks for letting us know that Rachel's tests are good. Great news. How are you and your Husband doing? Have you had any time with Grandgirls?Susan, thanks for the song. The full moon was glowing into the windows. I went out the other morning for a walk under the eclipse of the moon which caused it to be a 'blood moon'. Wishes needed for my Great Nephews girlfriend, Alex. She gave birth to a lovely girl named Loreli two weeks ago through C-section and is back in the hospital because an infection at the surgical spot. Surgery today.I went to the endodontist today for a look at a very bad tooth, it is scary for me to endure mouth stuff. Anyway, the endo dude who I like said that with the meds I am on for the cancer I had, which can cause bone depletion, he is apprehensive about pulling the tooth. I don't want the tooth pulled anyhow, but of course if it needs to be I would have it. SO the bone in my jaw is thinner than it was a few years ago which is the concern. YIKES> So I go back today at 4:00 for some work. Send some good wishes please. Hi Lora, thinking of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted October 10, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 10, 2014 Thanks to all who remembered Jesse's Angelversary. Just trying to make it through the day. It does help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted October 10, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 10, 2014 For you, Laurie and family..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted October 10, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 10, 2014 Laurie....I do hope the day has been gentle for you and yours.... Dee....keep us posted on Alex.....an infection and a new born baby do not go hand in hand well.....prayers that she has a quick healing and restored ....and back with that baby..... Ouch....the good news is that dental technology has amazing over the top procedures now....and I know they will find the best route for you....but I have to allow....that 'tooth trouble' is not a comfortable place to be in.... The moon has been amazing....and my night blooming jasmine fills the yard with it's heavy southern scent....reminds me of when I was a small child...and the night was my friend.... Lora....that was beautiful what you posted for Laurie....have never seen that photo of Jesse David before.....let us hear how you are doing.... Shannon....we are thinking of you.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted October 10, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 10, 2014 If Willie says it...it has to be true.... I was raised with every kind of music....that is why I am not a 'music snob'.....I have to admit it is hard for me to get close to some classical jazz.....it is hard for me to 'tap my toe' to it....but....I don't turn my back to it....and there is some 'rap' that is just too vulgar.... In all accounts of NDE's.....they talk about how the 'flowers and plants' all create music.... so when I was in my deep thinking one day.....I think that music was given as a gift to us in our earth home from God/Mother/Father of the Universe..... Debbie....I am thinking that for you to be in 'one' place....will allow you to center yourself...and you and your husband find some place for rest and peace.....being on the road....traveling....on the go....for long periods of time would seem to me to really wear you down. One of my husband's friends had a big rig...he talked of how nerve racking it was to have to deliver goods at a certain time and place....but road conditions weren't always suitable...keeping all the paperwork...he finally gave it up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted October 11, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 11, 2014 Susan, I love good ole Willy too. And I am similar, don't love jazz though husband does, I never have, especially the discordant stuff. I love alternative and rock and blues and all sorts of music and I adore classical works by the greats as well as music from other cultures, loving the sound from Turkey and Mali. Music stretches over the world, it reaches into each city, town, village and can change the day like that. It enters our spirits and reminds of life, allows us our tears as we sing along the words that so achingly match our emotions, it has the power to heal, makes us smile in ways that other communications cannot. Universal. Well I am off to bed with a thank you. My Great Nephew's Girlfriend is out of surgery and feeling better so this is good news. Thanks for your positive energies and prayers. And I too am feeling well. My grateful heart to you each. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted October 11, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 11, 2014 Laurie, how are you feeling this morning? I am wishing you some peace today. Some kind of peace. The sitar and this song by George Harrison, gives me great peace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted October 11, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 11, 2014 Dee...I have never heard that song....quite unique with the different instruments....I wish I had been taught more about India and Chinese cultures.....amazing that acupuncture has been in the Chinese cultures for centuries....how did they find out about that ? So many questions.... I was in some deep thinking....the many facets and shades of grief....there must be a Special gift of Grace for those parents that lost an only child...many on this site have.....and the grief must almost choke them down.... I have this kind of grief...and I have a daughter and 4 sons still....some days the grief overwhelms my blessings...I did not lose an only child....I lost my 'only John David'.... this year three certainly brings another kind of playing field...as I say....I want to work my way to the place where I can sit in balance between Grace and Grief... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SamDsmom Posted October 11, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 11, 2014 Dee,Thank you for the song. It is beautiful and very soothing. So glad hear about your nephews girlfriend. That is good news. I can so identify with the tooth thing. I have one that needs work but I am terrified. I had a really horrible experience as a child with an old dentist who didn't believe in deadening the tooth before drilling. Need I say more? Laurie,You are in my heart today. Hope you are ok.Susan,I can identify with the grief overtaking everything some days. Like a tightrope.We have some interviews set up fir career change. The first didn't go so well. Actually the interview was fine but it's not something we are interested in. Really missing Sam today. The KC Royals won again last night. The first winning season since before Sam was born so I know he's cheering in heaven. Just wish he was here to share it. Peace friends,Debbie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted October 11, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 11, 2014 Susan, I never went away to college but visited my old buddy Nadine at her dorm for a weekend here and there, one night all the students went to the dinner hall and I stayed in her dorm and listened to that song over and again for about an hour, coming to a peaceful place. It was George that always struck that note of spirit that attracted me to his music. Listen to some sitar music by Anoushka Shankar if you get a chance, Amazing. Happy Thanksgiving to you Kate, may it be a wonderful and magical day. We are enjoying the same weather right now, sunny and lovely. My nephews girlfriend is doing well and grand-moms are all about to help care for Baby girl. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted October 11, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 11, 2014 Oh yes...Happy Thanksgiving in your part of the 'world'....you lift us up so many times with your grace and words...about finding a place of thankful blessings...finding a place where one can get some traction on this grief journey...and you adjusted your attitude to live each day as a gift..... as I say...I want to find a place of balance between grief and grace...I am not there yet... Dee....I think George Harrison had a renaissance kind of talent...so many layers to his music... glad to know the baby girl has those GRANDmothers around her....they will get all that 'sugar'.... Wade ...Shannon.....haven't heard from you in a while....if all you can do is read....that is ok....we are thinking of you... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted October 11, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 11, 2014 Yikes.....I haven't been able to find the time to get on BI lately.....Many things that have tobe taken care of, so very busy. Thinking of all my friends here at BI. JESSE DAVID.......JESSE DAVID...SAYING YOUR NAME....ALWAYS REMEMBERING YOU. Laurie.....Thinking of you, and sending prayers. Dee-----Love the songs. I used to listen to Ravi Shankar's sitar music.....(not sure if they are related)....also love Nora Jones music....(daughter of Ravi Shankar). The sitar music is hauntingly beautiful.I was always intrigued by it. Must go for now......finishing up more garden work. PEACE AND TRANQUILITY TO ALL INDIGOS. Davey&Lisasmom, Sherry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted October 11, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 11, 2014 Sherry, Ravi is father to both the beautiful women, Anoushka and Nora Jones, two different Moms. So talented. What have you been busy with? Harvesting still? I hope that you are too enjoying the blue skies of this pretty day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted October 11, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 11, 2014 Thanks to all who posted for Jesse's Angelversary yesterday. It truly made a difference. Still a little knocked off balance here from this...feel like I have "scrambled eggs" for brains now... Wishing everyone a decent day...thanks for being there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Suzie1228 Posted October 11, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 11, 2014 Have been trying to watch some football today but even that is hard as my son and I had tickets to several games this year. Ended up selling them because I couln't bear the thought of going without him. Everyones story about losing their child is so sad and now I know what unfathomable pain parents go through when they lose their child. 25 years ago one of my best friends 11 year old daughter passed away and after many years she still had not changed her room and said she felt the pain as if it happened yesterday. I couldn't understand what she was feeling or why she would not have disposed with some of her daughters things. Now I know that until you have lost your child you cannot even come close to understanding what parents are feeling. Someday I hope that I will be able to wake up in the morning and that Brads death will not the 1st thing on my mind. Don't get me wrong, I will never forget my son and how much we loved each other, I just hope that someday I will get back to some kind of normal. He would have wanted that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jeff's Mom Posted October 12, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 12, 2014 Thanks to everyone, for their Thanksgiving wishes! Yes, we are ever so grateful for all of the blessings that have been sent our way. Grand and small things. The everyday life expectancies that we take for granted. What a blessing! I read this in a local paper today. Perhaps they are not stars but rather openings in Heavenwhere the love of our lost childshines down on us. I know this journey is oh so hard. I know that there will be days that you do not want to go on. But you will! You will for the memory of them... and your love will never die. Nor will theirs! That is what you must always hold close. You will be reunited again in time. Small comfort on this side. But in time it will give you the support you need. Your life will return to a different form of norm. Face it...we can't go back. But you will find a new you. That is how it goes along this road. Take one day at a time. Let your heart lead you. Do not let others push you into forcing yourself to do what you are not ready for. This is your call. It was your child. And only you know within what feels right. But life will pull you back into participating. And you will find happiness again. The difference is that as you walk this road you will take your child alongside you and you will not forget them or leave them behind. Not ever! Stay strong! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted October 12, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 12, 2014 Suzie....yes....football...."IF" John David was 'here'.....he and Daniel would be watching games all day...and then heading out to the A&M game at College Station....Daniel ..(Dad)...will just watch the game from home...such an empty spot... Kate....what all do you do for your Thanksgiving ? Here...at least for us in Texas....the traditional 'Turkey/Dressing'...sweet potatoes...Pecan Pie.....and lots and lots of family and friends gather.... This is one of the holidays I was talking about at the first of September being so 'dreaded'....but I have reconciled to making the best of the best ....and passing down to our GRANDchildren...all the traditions that were passed to me.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jeff's Mom Posted October 12, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 12, 2014 Susan, on Thanksgiving I spent years preparing dinners for family and those that were alone. We celebrated with the traditional meal. Looking back now when I was a younger woman I spent days in the kitchen preparing everything to make it special for everyone. And I hope that it was. Today....things are very different. All of the family are mostly dead....including our son. But I do have the memories. And the good feeling that their last few years were happy spent with those that loved them. Heck, I am just happy to be alive...and especially my husband! That it what makes me so grateful. We have been to hell and back this past few years. It brings what is really important into perspective. I am truly thankful for each and every day. Life is so special. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tobyfreefoot Posted October 12, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 12, 2014 JESSE DAVID laurie hope seeing his name lightens your heart knowing he will always be remembered Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted October 12, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 12, 2014 Suzie, I am sorry for the death of your son. We have not gotten rid much of my son's things at his house either. Just not the right time. I am grateful for the people who "meet" here on this thread, you will find those who understand this path of grief. Kate, it was good to hear your holiday went reasonably well. When will Jeff's tree be placed by the hospital? Is it already ordered? Gretchen, thanks for posting the remembrance, yes, it does help to see his name in print. Thank you for your kindness... Carol, how are things with you? Sherry, we had an abundance of squash this year. I think we will have to give some of it away. The garden has already been cleaned up for the winter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Suzie1228 Posted October 12, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 12, 2014 Going to go to a grief support group today just for parents who have lost their children. I got a call yesterday from a very sweet older man, he and his wife are both 85 and lost their daughter 30 years ago and he runs the group now and reaches out to those who have lost children. He started going when his daughter passed away and said he has continued because he hopes to help other parents who are grieving. He was so uplifting and caring to me when we spoke. I miss you Brad, every minute of every day! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members shorty16 Posted October 12, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 12, 2014 Happy Thanksgiving to my Canadian friends.Your Thanksgiving is on Monday. May you truly, truly feel Thankful.I have visited Canada several times. Each time was a pleasure.Colleen, Brian's Mom forever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members shorty16 Posted October 12, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 12, 2014 Susie,You are so right. I never knew this depth of pain existed until my Brian died. I could not believe I could feel this bad for this long and still survive. But I did and so will you.I hope the group helps. I went several times, but found this site more helpful and easier for me.Take care of yourself.Colleen, Brian's Mom Forever Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tobyfreefoot Posted October 12, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 12, 2014 susan--sit in balance between grace and grief -- sounds like a good aim. my partner has just told me he is ready for me to move on. he has been patient but doesn't get that it is there for a lifetime. i rarely cry or anything but my lack of zeal is what he is tired of. i feel like i just don't want to mention my son's name anymore. sucks oct. 25 will be the 3rd year of super bit wars, the tournament that forest had set up but died before it happened and is now held in his memory. susie--so sorry to hear of the tragic loss of your son. it was many many months before i quit waking up with that horrible "forest is dead" in my mind, but eventually it quit being my immediate waking thought and i assume one day it will subside for you. i really had a hard time dealing with that screaming thought starting my days. now i awaken with the knowing built into my soul instead of having it broadcast so loudly every morning which makes it easier for me to drag myself out of bed.all of my son's stuff went into a storage unit i had built on my property. his clothes and electronics are in the house. sometimes one of his brothers will find a tshirt he wants but otherwise it is all still here (along with all my dad's stuff as he died within a year's time) plus some things he had never moved out because he was still deciding his future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SamDsmom Posted October 12, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 12, 2014 Suzie,I hope the group helps you. I know I have been willing to do anything to ease the pain and emptiness I feel. The only meaningful support I get is from those who have walked in our shoes.Gretchen,Im so sorry about the changes going on for you. I am thinking of you and Forrest and you will be in my prayers.Dee,Thank you for reminding mehow much I love Norah Jones. So many thoughts of things I used to enjoy have gone from what little memory I seem to have left. I tried to download a video of her singing Long Way Home (one of my favorites) at a concert in Austin last night, but for some reason my utube down loader is not working. I'll try again later. She has such a soothing incredible voice.Susan,I too have such a hard time with the sports thing. Knowing that Sam was such a nut about it and so much of his young life was wrapoed around college and pro sports, particularly football.Well, we will be moving to northern Montana in the middle of November. The elderly couple that owns the motel called and offered us the job of running their motel last night and we accepted. I have very mixed emotions about it. I think the anxiety just comes from change. I have prayed to be off this truck so many times in the last year, but I just don't do well with change. Jack loves the adventure but I'm not sure where I'm at. Missing you Sam. Football Sunday. Miss your voice, your everyyhing.Debbie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted October 12, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 12, 2014 Wow Debbie, moving to Montana. I hope that this move allows you the chance to have time with your grief, I bet it will. Do you have any family there? I am sending prayers for this change to be the right one for now. I will put up a NOra Jones song. Suszi, I hope that the group is a good one. The man who called you sounds like a wonderful man, with an open heart in which to hold all of the love for his long gone Daughter and all those who need direction. Let us know how it goes. I do so agree iwth you about what Brad would hope for your life, he, like all of our Children wants you to find a great and wonderful peace knowing that he is always with you. Is it enough. Certainly not and not in the beginning of grief, but it becomes a piece of you, he will ride around on your shoulder helping direct you in all you do, cheering you on and holding you when you are sad. Brad will know that it will take time for you to find your steps, don't hurry yourself and don't set yourself up to fail. WE go up and down, it is not failing to fall backward on the path, it is normal in this new life you are in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted October 12, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 12, 2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted October 12, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 12, 2014 Sisters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted October 12, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 12, 2014 love this one with the sisters... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Angel Boy of Mine Posted October 12, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 12, 2014 duplicate, sorry! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Angel Boy of Mine Posted October 12, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 12, 2014 The entire Delmar Popwarner team wore J.W. on the back of their helmets In Memory of my son, Jared West. Center top pic is me in the chair holding one of the helmets, beside me #12, is a current player (quarterback on this team, behind him is my husband Jerry, former coach of this team and in the blue hoodie is the older brother of #12, and was also JD's best friend, who also played on this team when Jared played. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Steve s mom Posted October 13, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 13, 2014 Becky,What a wonderful tribute to Jared The football team did Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted October 13, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 13, 2014 Becky, I agree with MaryAnn, what a wonderful tribute to your Boy and to the years of work you and your Husband have put into Popwarner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SamDsmom Posted October 13, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 13, 2014 Becky,That is awesome! It shows what they thought of Jared. Thank you for sharing the story and pictures. Dee,Thank you for the music. I had never heard the sisters together. It is beautiful. I have added more of their songs to my music collection. To answer your question, we don't have family in Montana. We used to live in the upper Peninsula of Michigan until about 6 years ago. My husband's mother fell ill in Georgia. So we moved down there to take care of her. When that was resolved and she was stable, that's when we went on the road. It allowed us to see the kids more often. But we are wilderness outdoors animal lovers at heart and both love Montana. I missed the snow and cold weather when we were in Georgia. So when we decided to get off the road in the last few weeks we began looking for local truck driving jobs for Jack. Somehow by accident I guess his online resume ended up in the hands of an elderly couple looking for a couple to run their motel in northern Montana. He is 88 and she is 84. They bought the place many years ago to help support then when they retired. I guess it has been going very well until the last few years. They moved to Arizona, leaving it in the hands of a woman who had worked fir then for 20 years. They suspect that she has been stealing from them. It's a weird crazy story, but we were actually near their summer home in South Dakota last week so we got to meet them. Come to find out their son goes to church in Arizona with my brother in law. Anyway, I guess we are going. It is such a relief to be getting of the truck. The grandkids can come and spend summers and my daughter and her husband are talking about moving up when she finishes her RN degree if he can find work. We have to be there the middle of November so I guess I will have plenty to do to keep me busy over the holidays which is probably good. Sam loved Wyoming, Colorado and Montana. I know he would be happy. I feel really good about this couple. They have very kind spirits.I hope I haven't rambled. My heart is aching again. I had no idea that i could ever be this sad and that the expression broken heart was literal. Some days it is such an effort to move. I find it angers me when my husband asks me why I'm crying. At least it is a little easier to bite my tongue now. I miss my boy. I know I'm rambling. Avoiding sleep that will not come. Searching to remember things I'm afraid I'll forget. Thanks for being here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Suzie1228 Posted October 13, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 13, 2014 Becky, wonderful tribute to your son Jared. You are blessed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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