Members Steve s mom Posted April 11, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 11, 2014 deleted Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Steve s mom Posted April 11, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 11, 2014 deleted Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Steve s mom Posted April 11, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 11, 2014 I know Easter isnt untill next week.Just wanted to share this I received. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted April 11, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 11, 2014 Dee....I really like that....'we don't know the why....just the how to go day by day'.... for me....I wake up each morning....and ask....'What will I do....without you?' and then fashion and form someway of shaping my day....'to stand in the better' Wade...even though all of us on this site is wrapped in our own loss and grief....we seem to grow another layer of empathy for those families that are placed on the same path.... Oh...it hurts to see that beautiful girl...and know that family that is standing by the bed...watching her slip...slip...slip away...As parents...we seem to think we have this superhuman power to keep all harm from our child....and then...we find...we only had superhuman love...I know the family has some comfort in knowing so many others care... Shannon....what a magical poem for your girl....you know....Mother Nature is healing....we are all a part of Mother Nature....and we return to Her....Mother Nature symbolizes a human nature....in that there is a cycle of Spring..Summer...Fall...and Winter....in the human cycle as in the Nature cycle.... The sun has power....sunshine is healing....(not to be used as in tanning yourself to a sunburn)Essie always said...'you will never go crazy if you dig in the dirt'..... When you are gardening or doing anything outside....that is the only way Mother Nature can help heal you. Becky...that is simply a very ...very....unique creation....and one to keep close to your heart. Sandy....I do hope they can find whatever is giving your husband so much pain....and can find something in the medicine bag to give him relief.....it is so hard to watch someone we love in pain....and it gives you so much stress.....am happy the new dog is giving him some happiness. Will pray. Laurie....love that Jesse/shoe story.....thanks for sharing.....we open up to those small everyday events....and realize...those were really the big moments... Kate....thinking of you and Ross....hoping that when you get over this hurdle...you can go outside and plant your pretty flowers and be in the sunshine. thank you Steve's Mom.....it is important that we send out a message to 'others' and let them know how their support and caring makes this grief journey a little easier to travel.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted April 11, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 11, 2014 Becky, will continue to pray for your family...and think of Jasmine during this all, no sibling in their grief should have ever be placed in her position, I am sorry. The necklace was beautiful with the thumb print of Jared. Thanks Wade, Shannon and Susan for the comments on Jesse's shoe story... Wade continued prayers for Tiffani, she is a lovely soul...what a "right' thing that the school is supporting her and the family during this hard time.... Lora, I would hold onto the fingerprints on the mirror too...the small things we hold onto of our child's, they become a tie to them and their life we cherished...I have not cleaned Jesse's last car, still have the Taco Bell wrappers on the floor...told my husband to let it be until I am ready...but it is not yet... Shannon, it is a beautiful peom for Trista, love it all but very touched by "Come take my hand, My Beautiful Girl Dance through the fields of heather" One day we will dance with them again, a sweet reunion in that will heal our hearts... Susan, "wake up each morning....and ask....'What will I do....without you?' and then fashion and form someway of shaping my day....'to stand in the better'" Yes, trying to shape my day somehow, not seeming to have much success lately.... Mary Ann, thank you for the post about Easter...thinking of you and Steve today... Barbara, so sorry to hear about you burning yourself, I used to use Melaleuca products which is based on tea tree oil to help with healing...it lessens the scarring...I did like this brand, feel like the quality was higher... Dee, thank you for sharing all you do... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted April 11, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 11, 2014 Wade-----Sending prayers for beautiful Tiffani. So good that you are planting someflowers. Yes---I guess that desert soil is a challenge, but putting some seeds orplants in patio pots can bring about some good results, hopefully. It's amazing howa few flowers can just lift the spirits....to see them sprout and grow. Good luck. Becky----Such a beautiful thumbprint necklace you designed. Sure to be a keepsakeclose to your heart, and JD always smiling down with love. Sorry that the court dateis coming up with so much stress and apprehension. I sure hope that you will havethe opportunity to give an impact statement. Peace to you. Laurie----Thanks for the flowers verse. Yes, I agree flowers are food for the soul.Just looking into a flower's beauty of shape, color, and fragrance can make aperson feel closer to heaven. SandyI, too, know what you mean when you post that you haven't much to say.I think we all have those times on this road, and it is understandable. Sending thoughts& prayers for you dear husband. Missing your sweet Sara must compound yoursadness with your husband's health problems. ...I'm sorry. Shannon---Yes---moles are very destructive with all the tunnels they make in lawnsand gardens. They are after the worms & grubs. We have some problems with them,but the raccoons help us out every year. They, too, are after the grubs, so they cantake care of the moles. Then, we have only a reduced population of Japanese beetlesin summer...due to the raccoons eating the beetle's grubs. One of nature's cycles. Dee----I love trees too. We are surrounded with a lot of different kinds here. Lovesitting out under the big maple beside the grape arbors in the summer. Seems to be10 degrees cooler in the shade, and a good escape when working in the garden. WISHING PEACE AND A GOOD NIGHT'S REST FOR ALL INDIGOS. Davey&Lisasmom, Sherry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members shorty16 Posted April 11, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 11, 2014 Hello to all my dear friends who walk this road with me.We have finally thawed here in Wisconsin and the bonfires have started. My son, Aaron has not been in trouble for a while. We hope to maintain this. Our Michelle has started depression and PTSD medication and she is doing great. She did not want to go on medication. She was first to Brian's crash site. She had nightmares for years. Almost 6 years and 3 therapists later, we finally have a process that works.I am happy for today. Time has brought some peace to my family. I wish this same peace to all of us on this site.Love to you allColleen, Brian's Mom forever Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Steve s mom Posted April 12, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 12, 2014 I have a thumbprint necklace of Steve's too Jd mom.Mine was ordered thru the funeral home they keep finger prints of the departed in there file.mine is white gold ,heart shape with Steve's birthstone on it with thumbprint on one side and engraving of his name dates ,on backI have worn it ever since he died I never take it off I also have a small diamond cross of Steve's on there too the cross was given to Steve by my sister who died.and at the hospital I took that cross his cross and gave him mine.so we could each have something to connect us it was buried on him.I also this may sound weird wear the necklace to remind me that he is truely gone.at first everyday when I woke up I'd check that I still had the necklace on,hoping that one day it would be gone,so it was all a bad dream and Steve is alive.once the clasp came undone I woke up ,I didn't have it on ,I ran to his room.....of course he wasn't there.i found the necklace had a better clasp put on and have worn it ever since. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Guest Posted April 12, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 12, 2014 . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lovU2themoon Posted April 12, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 12, 2014 Thinking of you all.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted April 12, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 12, 2014 Lora, Happy Birthday to Jared. I know the ache of who is missing at the times of celebration like your Son's day, it is that deep pain that persists in the lives of grieving parents. I wish you a great sleep and a great day. Wanda, thanks, that says it all doesn't it. Sherry, I'll bet you had gorgeous weather today as we did here in Chicago. Your giant Maple must be a delight in each season, but especially now after so long a winter, watching the buds form and then that electric green as the seed coats fall to the ground like velvet. You too Laurie and Colleen. Colleen, so glad that Michelle has found a path to feeling better.Laurie, may tomorrow take on more shape and a sense of goodness for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted April 12, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 12, 2014 Wishing everyone a peaceful evening. Mediation Music used by Dr. Lani Leary with her patients. She is an NDE experiencer. http://vimeo.com/32029108 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted April 12, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 12, 2014 Colleen....I want to say Thank You for staying on this site for 'years'.....am sure you did for yourself....and your healing...but I cannot express 'enough' the impact you and the other 'Spirit Guides'..(that is what I call you)...have on 'the new ones' when we come here .... it is like someone 'was at the right place and the right time' for me....it was a life line thrown to me...when my human boat was going down....down....down..... it was a ray of hope....it was me learning that a parent can survive this grief... I am happy you shared your journey....and that your other children are finding a path to walk in their grief.... for others who have children suffering for the loss of their sibling....it is a good thing to learn ...that in time....clarity and healing can come to the family circle... I have learned that grief comes from many directions...in many shapes and forms....in many colors....and foreign language... it is hard to 'talk and walk' with it.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted April 12, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 12, 2014 Lora.....I do so relate.....the 'dread' I feel when I need to 'celebrate'....I know my children and GRANDchildren do need me to 'celebrate' the birthday...the graduation...the 'moment'.....the holidays.... Just the other day....I was wondering when that 'whole' feeling would return....when will that spark of 'personality' come back to me.... I was raised on the foundation that 'Attitude' is everything....if something is not going right...or whatever happens....'Always..always...adjust that Attitude'..... What I find...is that in this 'floating' ...I cannot have 'attitude'.....I have no latitude...or longitude... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted April 12, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 12, 2014 This sums it up.....The 'Why' we come to this site...."Why' we visit it daily....'Where' we don't feel alone in this journey... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Angel Boy of Mine Posted April 12, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 12, 2014 Thank you, Debbie (Sam's mom) for the beautiful postcard you mailed to me! So very thoughtful!! Members on this list have given me what I need at just the right times, and I am ever thankful for finding all of you! Today on FB, the mothers of Jared's schoolmates are posting their boys at prom with their dates, and it brought me to a new level of hurt and pain, as Jared should have been there too, turning 18 and getting ready for graduation from high school. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted April 12, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 12, 2014 Dee---Lovely day here too. Near 70 degrees. I spent a lot of time outside, anddoing odd jobs in the garage. It needed some good cleaning up after the harshwinter. So nice to just get outside without freezing. Lora----Your Gram must have had a 'green thumb' with her gardening,.....and thento can all the things she grew. I agree.....all the little things that we keep closeto our hearts are the things we treasure the most. Stevesmom----Steve's thumbprint necklace w/ his birthstone sounds so nice. No,..it is not at all weird to keep the necklace on because it is keeping him next to yourheart, and honoring him. Peace to you. Colleen-----Glad to hear that your dear daughter, Michelle, is doing better, and hasfound the right fit for a therapist. Sometimes it takes a lot of persistence to findthe right one who can truly help. Susan-----thanks for the writing. This site has been a lifeline to so many grievingparents......and since we are all here for the same unfortunate reason, then we'renot alone in our journey. Everyone here knows and understands the pain and sorrowthat goes along with losing a beloved child, so we band together and help each other. PEACE AND TRANQUILITY TO ALL INDIGOS. Davey&Lisasmom, Sherry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted April 12, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 12, 2014 Lora, happy belated birthday to your Jared…I hope he is doing well in Grad school and enjoying Chicago… Wanda, it is good to see your posting…I have always felt drawn to this particular grief site…for me there would not have been a right source locally of dealing with my grief…there are common experiences shared by others on this site that I related to at a deep gut level…For me, Dee’s story about her daughter’s passing is what really drew me in and I knew here I would find a perspective I needed…. Dee, thank you for the encouragement…a little better day here… Susan, “Just the other day....I was wondering when that 'whole' feeling would return....when will that spark of 'personality' come back to me....” I am wondering that too… Becky, how nice for you to receive the postcard from Debbie…that was so thoughtful….I know how it is when you are watching your son’s friends reach certain milestones -- it can place us into an emotional tailspin so quickly…maybe in time it will soften, I don’t know… Sherry, can’t believe you have almost 70 degree weather…it still is dark and cold here in northern WI.. Kate, thinking of you today…hope winter is going away for you… Cherry, how are things your way? Sandy, is there any improvement on your husband’s pain level? Been praying… Mary Ann, the necklace sounds like a treasure…I am hoping to purchase a necklace to hold some of Jesse’s hair…I kept some back…and we all placed a lock of our own hair with him as well… Colleen, how hard for your daughter, wishing her healing today... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Guest Posted April 13, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 13, 2014 . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted April 13, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 13, 2014 Lora, yes there are so many of the puzzles to sort out...the pieces one did not expect to find...yet they are there... Still sorting through my belief system, or rather I think my previous view just blew apart...I still feel to some degree the intersection of what we would term the spirit realm with our realm...trying to bring some context to it all but not been very successful on it...still keeping everything in prayer... I do wonder about these guides.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted April 13, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 13, 2014 together on this journey.... the shaft of light on the path that Dee shared.... Lora...the dream you had....that you got a phone call that Cara hit a tree.... and on and on....etc....etc....we have all shared what we experienced....Laurie.....all the messages you got....I got them, too....subtle....almost in a dreamy sleep stance....but ....I did get them... this is the only place where we can share these experiences... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted April 13, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 13, 2014 Laurie, I thought that you would have some nice warm weather today, like we did here in Chicago-land. It was 70 and threatening to rain but it has not. Windy though. Maybe you guys have the rain. I hope that tomorrow you will have sunny skies, time to be outdoors. I know that your questioning what your beliefs are is normal and needed. Sherry, hooray for the beautiful weather, I know you are smiling when you are pulling weeds on days such as this. Lora, I love that Jared's spirit guide is Cara, not surprising but affirming and wonderful to know that Jared is looking into the world in this way. I always wished that Jon, my son, had a belief system of some sort, he does not, nor did his dad. Prayers for a family in the area whose oldest daughter went to school with Erica. Their youngest Daughter, Rachel, was killed this week in South Africa while having a semester of college there to work with AIDS/HIV. She was with other students and their rented jeep overturned. She was killed, the others will all recover. Her family had all traveled there two weeks ago to visit her. Amazing isn't it, that somehow they were all together one last time. A week later she was gone. By all accounts she was a wonderfully giving young lady, happy as can be when working in Africa, this being her second trip there. Please give thoughts to this family as they now must climb the endless hills in and out of valleys to find the purpose that will become their new lives. Rachel Smylie, long may you run. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted April 13, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 13, 2014 Oh Dee.....we don't get to know the why....we just get to the how....of going forward....once again...I ask the 'why' of the ones that are doing His Work ? Being good...being kind...loving...and passing it on..so sorry for the family....we know the dark days ahead... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mommysangelisabella Posted April 13, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 13, 2014 Hello my family, We became as such for the worst reason in our lives but i am greatful to know even though ive been absent for awhile you are still here and i am so thankful. Things for me hvnt gotten better id say they got worse.i am once agen on my own after standing by my husband after he returned to me a few weeks after bellas birth into heaven wich he wasnt present for. I did my besy to help him with a suprise addiction to druggs and he had been doing so well , but has lost his fight with that demon and is now walking the streets after a major confrontation last night at home when i had found out.i had put so much work into caring for him my oldest austin with sever adha and seperation anxiety , middle son riley who now has been given the diagnosis of autism combined with long term memory issue , my other middle son jeremiah who turn 4 monday and my angel isabella whom ive never mourned. I am disabled now and im unable to work but it is a blessing in disguise being able to be at home to see my boys grow and help them learn but a curse with finances. My car broke a few months ago and with my ssi as our only suport we were forced to ride the bus wich we do every day to keep the boys in the best school in this town 1 hour each way if we are lucky 4 times a day for my youngest and i , who with gods will will be starting preschool soon now that hes fully potty trained ( he regressed) in his greif for his sister.but thats another bus and more time , we all know as parents wr do as we hv to. I just never dreamed life could go this way. On the 24 it will be 7 months since my baby girl went to heaven. God it dosent seem tnat long. I tried councling and ran , i dnt think that lady was trained in greif in onr hour session she managed to say things like what would it matter how she came out she was already dead and i think you need to be put on meds. I said u really think so she said well normally id want to see,you more first but since you hv kids at home you should take these so youll just be happy. I left and ran ! Christmas was hard for me but amazing for my boys i was ridiculous and over compensated my house looked like the Griswolds off the movies National Lampoon's christmas and they got way to many toys lol. Ad i sit here tonight though i look around up on my shelf she sits in her heart shaped earn next to her candle and the box with the only pic i will ever hv of her in the few hours i spent with her after she was born into heaven. But as i keep looking her carseat (still in plastic) sits in a corner her stroller in another. Her crib and dresser remian in the shared room of my little ones but i did take the decorations off the wall. My thoughts are is it time should i take them down put them away out of site . Is it harming , making it worse to hv my boys looking at what was and isnt any more ? My oldest still brings me gifts weekly saying there for her sister. At first i told him honey she cant hv them shes in heaven he looked at me and said i know mommy i get them/ make them for you for her his latest this week he had a girl in his class draw a purple butterfly its now on my way above my bed sits a purple snow man two girl toys a butterfly note book wr decided to use for letters to her and a purple,bracelet. My jeremiah still talks about her as well . He said he sees and plays,with her...... My heart wants to belive it and i wont kill his ways only god truly knows . I hear him playing and talkin in there room. He asked me today agen mommy is god in heaven above the sky i said yes he says and thats where iasbella is to hu? Inbetween his fingers in his mouth. He has always sucked on his index and middle fingers of his left hand i hv ultrasound pics of him doing it abd untill my husbands family id never seen it. Yes i know fears of his teeth but its so cute and its his comfort hes doing well and we will get there agen to break it. Its mainly when hes nervous, tierd, or since now. My riley dosent talk about isabella , he dosent show feelings , but rarely, ladt night after dad left he said his stomach hurt other thsn that nothing. But what am i to do my sons they keep loosing people and i cnt stop it. I was told by my mom my dad is dying he was diagnosed with a degenerative muscle disorder . Wich he has already lost alot of use in his arms , legs, and one eye but he keeps working as a janitor at walmart being the soul provider for their house hold. He worked at a batterie plant for 25 years before they closed down and moved to mexico . He took the first job offer as a man would. Im a daddys girl as you can see . Theres no way to stop this only meds to help w pain and control some. My dads life was never easy even from birth and he had always fought like crazy to give myself and my sisters more. Now each day is precious with him because we know one day he will not be able to breath. I pray god just gives us a break i heard threw my family my dad blaims himself for my daughters death he feels he deserves all he has now because god has punished him for something. I know we all hv skeletons in our closet but the man i know and see could never do anything to be punished like this. As for sympathy in my family those of u who know me if you thought it was non existent in the beginning you should see it now. Last i said something to my mom her response was we all go threw hard times and offered no help. Although she lives in my town and dosent work along with two of my sisters. Anyways this thing is long im sorry i just wanted to up date you all on my journey although i can breath better some days at almost 7 months i still feel the pain the longing anf empty arms . Is it wrong to want to hold my baby girl as i sit here every where i turn im reminded of my angel as i walk threw the stores seeing first easter bibs or my neice eryn who is one month older than she should be.thnk you my family for being here always for me in my time of need even at midnight as it is here now in cali im sure its alot latter else where. My jay is sleeping with me tonight he and i both needed it hes snoring away right nxt to me in my bed ...... To be that innocent agen.... But then i wouldnt know the joys of them. Oh i did use the fairy jars on christmas eve wr all had our own we put them together and remember our angel although as my boys do they ran threw it but i took my time they sat out all night shinning for her we wrote on the top in memorie of isabella faith we will continue it as our tradition from now on....... All my love wendy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Guest Posted April 13, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 13, 2014 .. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted April 13, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 13, 2014 Wendy, I am sorry for the string of sadness in your days, you and Isabella and your Boys are in our hearts. I wish for goodness to enter your lives now, ways that allow you all the sense of your Angel and going forth in her light. Going out for a walk before the weather turns, it is to be only 42 and rainy tomorrow after being 78 yesterday and 65 right now. The flowers are popping and the trees are budding all over town. I love the color the trees offer in the bud stage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guests Guest Trista's_Mom Posted April 13, 2014 Guests Report Share Posted April 13, 2014 Lora, I can also relate to that feeling of missing Trista so much on special days. Zak’s birthday in February was very hard for me. I made it about him and he didn’t know how much I hurt but it was there. I’m glad that Jared had that experience and was able to share it with you. I’ve also done some work to know my Spirit Guides. I believe very much. Dee, We had a very nice day yesterday and today promises to be beautiful too. The color is so good to see. My Lenten roses are blooming and my apple trees turned green overnight. I can’t wait for the apple blossoms. I hope you enjoy your walk. I’m sorry to hear about Rachel. I’m sending prayers for the family. We all know the pain they are in. Wendy, I was glad to see your post. I’ve thought of you and of your boys and Isabella and wondered how you’re doing. I’m so sorry for all you have to deal with. I’m sending prayers for strength for you. Sherry, I’m glad you had such a nice day. It was the same here. (I think we’re both in Ohio). I spent the whole day working in my flower beds. They had been very neglected last year. The only place I worked last summer was Trista’s garden. Colleen, I’m so glad things are going better for your family. I understand PTSD. I also made it to the scene of Trista’s accident. I’m glad your daughter has found the right person and the right treatment. I’m thankful to you for sharing your journey and your hope with us. Becky, I know how you feel. Trista would be turning 19 but this would be her senior year. Last night was prom here also. I had to stay away from facebook and from the pictures of all her friends… just too painful. Kate, I’ve been wondering too, how are you and Ross? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members franperrone Posted April 13, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 13, 2014 I lost my daughter Stephanie on April 4th to a suicide. I am shattered. Her brother and sister are also shattered. Life has little meaning anymore. I love her so much. The memories are playing in my head constantly -all good - My girl was 21 years - would have been 22 on November 5th. How we loved her!How I am supposed to go on after this I have no idea Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted April 13, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 13, 2014 Dear Fran,I am so sorry that you lost your Girl. We just never can know exactly why this sadness occurs we only know that we are in it. I lost my Girl 10.5 years ago, so I know the burden in your heart but am here to say that with work and time, lots of both, you will find your steps and your purpose again. right now though, you are at the very edge of this loss and in fact your Girl left on what would be my Girl's 30th birthday. My Daughter Erica was 19 when she died. Please let us know more about you when you feel you want or can. Tell us about Stephanie's life, and her siblings lives as well. Let us know how we can best help you in this incredibly horrendous time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted April 13, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 13, 2014 Am so..so sorry Fran.....we do know the depth of your sorrow....we know the grief path is so dark and hard to walk on....many on this site have had the same loss....their child to suicide....and what I have learned....it takes one that walks in your shoes....to know what you are going through....Please let us know about your girl.....let us know how you are doing....we don't have any answers....but we do have hands and hearts to reach out to other parents that have been placed on this grief journey... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted April 13, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 13, 2014 Kate....just want you to know we are thinking of you....holding you and Ross in our prayers...we know the exhaustion you must have....so...don't worry about posting....just come and read and know you are 'thought of'.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted April 13, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 13, 2014 Kate, ditto---our prayers for strength and healing to you and Ross. Peace on this and each day. Shannon, it just began t rain here, th emagnolia wants to explode but i hope she holds off now for two days of cold coming in. Husband and I were in the yard when a hard wind blew and the temps dipped by at least 10 degrees. Now even more. The birds have been silenced for now.Lenten roses are gorgeous. How are the seeds coming? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sholl1955 Posted April 13, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 13, 2014 We too have had a beautiful weekend with warm temps. The cold is headed our way too Dee but hasn't started moving in quite yet. Hubby had his test and came through it fine, but it has caused his symptoms to be worse. They told us that may happen. I am hoping to hear something tomorrow. I spent some time looking online for ideas to make a small memorial in our small apartment patio space for Sarah. She still has no stone at her site so haven't been able to go there. Although with the horrible winter it is just in the past couple of weeks that I could have gotten there. I so hope my son in law will get one on this year, but will try not to be too hopeful. Hoping for a peaceful night for all. Sandy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted April 14, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 14, 2014 Sandy, a small memorial sounds like a really healing kind of project. Are you thinking of a small fountain or stone of some sort, or potted plants that can be brought in in the winter? What about those handprint stepping stone kits where the girls could make their handprints and put pretty stones in the cement mix before it dries? I hope that your Husband can get some relief for that pain he is experiencing. Keep your warmer coats nearby for a few days. I am in a flat mood. WIth my neighbors daughter in town this weekend in order to console her good friend whose sister died...I feel I am living the pain and horror of what this family is going through. I know that it is their pain, but I just hate that anyone else need go through it. Michelle showed me a page from facebook from another of their friends, one of ERi's great buddies Amy. Amy is a standup comic out in California, she is hilarious, I miss her. Well on 4-4-14, she wrote that she went for a new tattoo in honor of her friend Erica who would have turned 30 on that date...4-4-14. Amy got a tattoo of 4 dots on her arm to represent the 4's in Eri's numbers. She was born on 4-4-84. Amy wrote, I love you E.I began to cry and found it hard to stop. Maybe I need a good cry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Steve s mom Posted April 14, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 14, 2014 Sandy I am going to try to make a little Japanese garden in the yard for Steven he loved oriental stuff and collected a lot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sholl1955 Posted April 14, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 14, 2014 Dee, I think we do feel the intense pain and sorrow when someone goes through losing a child. We know the journey they have been forced on and know what is ahead, and while everyone's journey is different, there are a lot of things that are common to all of us who have walked and continue to walk it. And of course it brings back reminders to us of our loss. I work with a woman whose daughter is dying from metastatic cervical cancer. I let her know that I am there for her. She has hard days ahead. I hope that I am strong enough to help her through those days. Have a good weekSandy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted April 14, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 14, 2014 Yes Sandy, I have definitely gone through this kind of thing over the 10 years since ERica was here, but when it is someone from the same area and went to the same high school, just so many familiarities that blur the parameters of our losses. I think that you will be strong enough Sandy for your friend whose Daughter is ill. I think that you are stronger than most humans on Earth as you have juggled so many hardships at one time. I think that we are strong people made stronger by what we carry while at the same time, feel tired and weak at times. I think that that sense of not being able to handle something is our mind helping to protect ourselves, making sure of us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted April 14, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 14, 2014 Dee.....what a way to 'remember'....a tattoo....such love there for your girl.....I know that John David's friends have not only 'been there' for me....but have made this grief journey 'not so dark'....it does bring us comfort in knowing our child is still loved and missed by others....I, too, get emotional (that is putting it mildly)...when one of his buddies relate something they did together..(one of those tales they will tell when they are in their 40's...a stunt that no parent really wants to know about)...now I am so glad he and they had so much fun....two of John David's old girlfriends stay very connected with me...they are married and have children.... Sandy...I do hope after the last 'test'....they can find what is wrong...and get it healed....I think a Memory garden brings our sorrow to Mother Nature....and she can give us some healing....after reading about others creating one....I am going to create one, too.....for now....we had the big oak cut down....having a lot of work done on the pool this week.....then we have a company to build a Palapa....when that is completed....I will design and get mine started....there are so many ideas on Pinterest and DIY.... Am sorry about your friend...and her daughter...but you will know just what to do.....just remember what consoled and gave you the most comfort. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guests Guest Trista's_Mom Posted April 14, 2014 Guests Report Share Posted April 14, 2014 Fran, I’m so sorry for the loss of your daughter, Stephanie. You have found a good place. Everyone here understands the pain of Child loss. This place is one of compassion. I lost my daughter, Trista, on June 1, 2013. She was killed when the car she was a passenger in was hit by a tanker truck. We are coming up on year since she’s been gone. Her birthday will be June 21. It will be her 19th Birthday. She was 17 years old when she left… just 20 days before her 18th birthday. I saw that you visited her memorial website and got your message there. Just know we are here. This is a hard, painful journey. Dee has been on this journey for 10 years as she said. Sherry too. Colleen for 5. They share their experiences with us and offer some hope for the days and years ahead. Many of us are just taking our first shaky steps on this path but we share and reach out to each other along the way. Please share more about your Stephanie, yourself and your family as you feel ready. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted April 14, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 14, 2014 It is that time of year....Proms...Graduation....the parties...those 'moments'.....for parents that have lost a child...it is a marker that brings on the ...'It Could Have Been That Way'..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guests Guest Trista's_Mom Posted April 14, 2014 Guests Report Share Posted April 14, 2014 Dee, The cold is moving in for us today. We had sun and almost 80 degrees yesterday. Now, the wind and rain are coming in. It will be 60’s and rainy and by tonight high 20’s and possible snow. That’s spring in the Midwest, I guess. The seeds are doing great. The plastic bags are doing their job. I have sprouts of marjoram, basil, oregano, thyme, chives, sage, and sunflowers. I love the tattoo. How beautiful to have Eri remembered in this way by someone who loves her. I know the emotion I felt when Trista’s friends got theirs. Two of her closest friends have the Triple Goddess symbol and her cousin Jessi just got one that says, “In her garden, she lives”. I’m honestly thinking of one for her too. She always wanted a tattoo. I was having her wait and we were going to do it on her 18th birthday together. Sandy, I hope your husband starts to feel better soon. I’m glad he came through the tests okay. I think the memorial garden is a beautiful idea. I visit Trista’s site often but I honestly feel closest to her in her garden. I don’t know how much space you have to work with on your patio but I’ve been looking at solar power fountains for Trista’s garden. Amazon has some pretty ones in different price ranges and sizes. I’m sure you will be able to be there for your friend. You will understand her pain in a way others can’t. Maryann, I think that the oriental garden for Steve will be beautiful. Susan, I’m glad you have those friends of John David’s to share those stories with you. I feel the same when the girls share something with me… things that Trista probably wouldn’t have told me for years… I’m glad I get to hear these stories but it is very emotional. Laurie, “there are so many of the puzzles to sort out...the pieces one did not expect to find...yet they are there...” I can really relate to this. I had a dream the other night. It was so much like this statement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted April 14, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 14, 2014 and here in South Texas....we just got a 'Blue Norther' to blow in this morning...dropping temps very fast....will be high 30's or 40's tonight...and was so warm..... it is good to hear from those that are planting seeds...putting in the plants and flowers and veggies....digging in the dirt....Mother Nature is your living room....your home....the sky your ceiling....the sun the power to grow it all....even humans...help us grow out of our dark sorrow... I worked out in my yard yesterday...in the area they cut down the Big Oak....and I could not 'remember' last Spring...and then it caught me....I did not do one thing to celebrate...create...grow...plant...buy a flower...re-pot...and in May...Daniel had his open heart quadruple by pass surgery..... in fact....I think I 'slept walked'....'zombied through' the rest of 2012 after August and all of 2013.....it is strange to know it is 2014.....and it is like I was in a coma.... because of the pool work that will be started on Wednesday...then the Palapa will be built.....I am forced to make plans...and get that part of the yard landscaped...and it is good to be outside and have a 'need' to work on... I know my mind needs the sun and breeze to blow a layer of sadness away... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mikesmomrs Posted April 14, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 14, 2014 hello to all...wow, what a wonderful couple of days we've had here, weatherwise. Today started out kind of chilly and damp, raining for a bit, then cleared, sun came out, up into high 60's. Just beautiful. I know that all of us are having crazy weather these days, but hoping that spring is here to stay. Kim and her girls are on their way up from Virginia for spring vacation. Odd that they are putting it before Easter this year, but I am just so glad to get to see them that I don't care about the "how" just that it's happening! Shannon, I loved the poem...so much a part of your soul...the words connect you to her, as always. Loved the story of how your "expertise" can be utilized at the baseball field...enjoy! Along the lines of the tree being taken down, last summer the maintenance people here told me that the big maple tree in front of our house would "have to go." It was splitting down the middle and was a danger. I begged them to find a way to "fix it" and the decision was to cut off the split side. Well, of course, now the poor things is just about bare because that was the largest part. My husband dearly loved that tree...it distinguished our home so very much, and it is what he recognized first on his return home from the hospital that day so that he could live his final hours in his own home. It broke my heart to see that trimmed so much. Near the very end of the "trimming" they found they had to go a little deeper than thought at first. I didn't know how I was going to stand it. When they finished, I walked over to see the damage, and the part that was cut off had left a beautiful heart...my heart just about burst. I will post a picture when I can find it. Wade, such a kind thing for you to do for Tiffani and her family, and what a wonderful way for the kids to show their love for another/their world. Becky, I love the necklace with JD's finger prints...what an awesome idea, especially with the "thumb" history you all have! DEE: I love the history and stories of the "4's"....it all began with her first look at the world, and continues on indefinitely... So very sorry about the sadness enveloping this family who lost their daughter, and I truly "get it" about your feeling flat and feeling that you couldn't stop crying. I know that we all "get it" here. It is scenarios such as these that make us find it very difficult to not hold onto the "why" question even tighter... Sandy: I love the idea of the small garden for Sarah, especially since you do not have a "place" to go to be with her. I know you will find comfort in the making and the tending of your garden. It brings you to a place where you feel as one with the earth, and with Sarah. We made a small garden here at our home when we first moved in, for our Mike. Now I have some things in there for his dad, as well. I find comfort in changing it around in summer and tending to it. Prayers for your husband. Fran: I am so very sorry for the loss of your beautiful Stephanie. As Susan said, let us know about your girl, when you are ready. We are here, and we love to hear of other's children, their history, their joyous moments, and the love that one has for that child. I wish you never had to learn of such a place as this, but you have found "a soft place to land," and we will walk you through this. Sherry: Glad to hear the weather is turning warmer for you...you will be in your garden before you know it, picking and saving. It's been such a long, cold, snow-filled winter and I am so glad to see it in my rear-view mirror. I intend to savor each day filled with warm air and sunshine. Colleen: So glad that Michelle has found a therapist that has "connected" with. The trauma of losing her brother, accompanied by being the one who went to him first, is something that would be hard to live with and I am glad she now has help to learn how to do so. Wendy: so very sorry for all that you are having to endure. Prayers that you will find some peace and some answers to help you. Becky and Shannon (and anyone else who has lost a child who would be graduating this year)...I am so very sorry that this season and its events and activities are making it difficult for you. I can imagine how you must feel. Those trigger events can be so devastating. When Mike died, it would just about melt me to see a young couple with a small child...I would wonder what Mike and his wife would be doing at the time... KATE: Thinking of you and Ross. And praying. Always praying. Barbara: So very sorry to hear that you had to give up Ayanna's dog...I know it must have wrenched your heart so to do that. Lora: Belated happy birthday to your Jared. Yes, these days that call for a celebration can be very heavy and heart-piercing. I love that you have Cara's fingerprints...a gift, I would say. Laurie: I too liked the shoe story...and I also do believe he should not have been disqualified. Got to go, as daughter Kim and family will be here soon...last text said they were in Massachusetts. (I fell asleep last night before finishing this, so am just now finishing it. Love and prayers to all here. I did want to share a wonderful thing....some friends of ours from Guam, (we were there in 1979-81) sent me some pictures yesterday that they had taken at Christmas time and also at the airport when we were leaving. As we all know, pictures " from the blue" that we have not see before, are such beautiful gifts that we treasure, and these are no exception. I was not expecting to see my husband (as she had just said she had pics of Mikey), so when I opened the email and saw his face as well as young Mike's, my heart exploded with tears and joy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mikesmomrs Posted April 14, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 14, 2014 Oh, forgot to share something else...this is the first time this has happened...I got a notification from Legacy.com that someone had entered a post there and so went to check it. Turned out to be a post from a previous friend of young Mike's, who had just found out that he had died. She said the nicest things, and I emailed her to thank her, as she left a contact email. This was her post, and then her reply is under that. My heart felt warm all day and I know I was walking on air...so nice to have someone come by out of the blue and remember and 'say their name." Thank you, God for this very unexpected gift. Mike-I am so sorry to hear you are no longer on this earthly plane. I have not seen you for many years and have only wished good thoughts for you. The other day you came to me in a dream and you were smiling. I then wanted to know everything was okay with you. After trying to locate you I found out about your passing and sickness. I am so sorry for not keeping in touch and I send healing thoughts out to your family and friends. I know when you smiled at me the other day you are now happy and that makes me feel more at peace. Just know I am thinking of you and will remember a nice time when I knew you were happy. With light-HeatherThis was her reply to my email:IHello:I don't know if you remember me or Mike speaking of me many years ago. A lot of people call me Heather Flowers. At the time, I lived in Pelham, NH and Mike spent a lot of weekends at my apartment. We had so much fun going out, being with our friends or relaxing at my place. I know there were a few times you drove him out my way. I met him at the mall when he worked at Spencer's and I worked at the mall, too.He was super friendly from the start--silly, and fun. If I had known he was sick, I could have called and been a good friend to him at the time. I know he loved being with his kids and they meant a lot to him. [side note from mikesmomrs...this was a few years after Mike's divorce)] He always wanted me to meet them. I always told him he was an old soul. He agreed with me on that. He had a passion for life. Mike told me he was at his happiest when he was with me or with his kids. That is a memory I would like to share with you and I keep dear to my heart. I hope you are well and happy. Be well...HeatherI hope you are well and happy. This message was such a wonderful gift, also. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SamDsmom Posted April 14, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 14, 2014 I am trying to catch up on my reading. It's been very hectic this last week. Wendy,I'm sorry that you are having such a rough time. I think about you and little Isabella often. I will keep you in my prayers.Wondering about Ross. Has anyone heard from Kate?Fran,I am so sorry about your daughter. My heart goes out to you. Pkease keep coming here and tell us about her. This place has been a lifesaver for me. My son wss killed in September 2013. One this site, everyone understands what we are going through.I just want everyone to know that I'm thinking of them. I'm having a pretty down time. I will write more later.Debbie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted April 14, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 14, 2014 Carol.....I do believe your boys are shining bright for you.....the photos....the message...that thoughtful expression of your boy.... yes...indeed.....priceless..precious...gifts....My heart smiled reading your post....and now....your girls will soon be in your home and close to your heart....and able to hug and have some laughter... you so deserve all the 'gifts'....I know your 'boys' do want you to have joy and peace... Debbie....it is very normal to have lots of bad days....sleepless nights....confused thinking....extreme sadness...and lots of tears.....there simply isn't a way to circumvent this grief...one has to go through it....hang on with both hands...but we are here for you...it is just so darn hard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted April 14, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 14, 2014 Fran, I am so sorry on the loss of your girl, Stephanie. I do not know what I would have done without this site, there are many kind people here. Some people just read along for awhile, and there are some who post frequently about their grief journey. We are all travel this path together here, we hold each other’s hands, and listen to the stories of our children, sharing the love they brought to us. Dee, I wish a better day for you…I know there will always be those events or markers in life that we reflect and say that is where my child would/should have been…I did the same regarding my infant son Taylor at times, certain events would trigger a reflection back on what I think should have been…maybe this being a gentle reminder that they are still with us in Spirit, and that we are always their mom, they are always our child…. MaryAnn, a remembrance garden in Steve’s favorite style sounds so healing…I did one by Jesse’s place, where he had planted his cactus…he was trying an experiment to see if cactus would grow in Wisconsin (brought in from Arizona) , I remember him walking up his driveway after the first successful winter over….he was so proud they had survived…the next spring he was gone…but the cactus bloomed that spring, bright yellow flowers… Susan, I had to look up what a Palapa was…it sounds like something that would be healing project for you and your husband…I can see John David loving that type of outdoor gathering place…maybe there are things you could incorporate in the design to honor him, I can see him liking a Palapa very much…This one I thought was really cool, maybe a little fancy...http://selvadelmar.com/yahoo_site_admin/assets/images/PalapaKitchen_01.365141435_large.jpg Shannon, I treasure those dreams so much…hard to wake up from at times… Carol, I am so glad that you had the pictures sent to you and the lovely note from the girl who remembers your son in her heart…those indeed are rich blessings that are held close…also am glad you had a dream too... Debbie, I do think of you and the legal struggles you face with Sam coming up…understand the feeling down part…sending out hugs… Also, HUGS to Kate and Ross... Cherry, how are you doing? Also thinking of Wanda, Wade, and Ted today... Surreal, sending warm thoughts your way... Sandy, you are such a gracious person to come alongside this person who is struggling and in such grief over her daughter's illness...prayers for their family... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted April 14, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 14, 2014 Carol------How nice to get an email from Mike's friend, Heather. She wrote beautiful words, and I'm sure they meant the world to you.....especially'out of the blue'. I still hear from David's best friend on a pretty regularbasis, and it makes me feel good to hear his name spoken by a friendwho has been true blue. Nice weather here yesterday.....over 75 degrees.Today, it's not as warm, but still very nice. Sky looked a bit cloudy, andthen it rained. Weatherman say 3 inches of snow tomorrow, and bigdrop in temps. Sandy---It is kind of you to offer friendship & support to your co-workerwhose daughter is dying. I think she is appreciative, knowing that shecan count on you in the future also. Prayers for her. Dee----Yep---I know what you mean about having a good cry. I also dothe same from time to time, and sometimes it is something that is seeminglyunrelated that will bring the tears on. I guess it's just that our emotions of losing our dear children are just down under in a very shallow place,that other things can cause them to come right up to the surface and thetears flow. Can you believe 3 inches of snow tomorrow....after 70 degreestoday? Are you getting snow in your area too? Shannon-----It's so nice to get out in the yard & sunshine, isn't it ? Thewarm temps can energize us. My husband has been prepping his gardenarea all week. He always says he's going to make a "smaller" garden thisyear........nope,...never happens. He loves gardening, and can't wait to get outthe seeds and look them over, and plan where he will plant this & that. Always ends up with a pretty big garden. Wendy----Sending thoughts & prayers for you. Lora----Yes....I remember you saying how much you love your Gram. I'msorry---I can't recall whether she is still with you or has passed on. Laurie-----I hope that it warms up some in your area. I guess winter's notquite done with us here, either.........snow/cold in the forecast tomorrow....We'll soon find out. PEACE AND COMFORT TO ALL INDIGOS. Davey&Lisasmom, Sherry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted April 15, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 15, 2014 IT is snowing, up to an inch or more. Rooftips are white, grass is white, daffodils are covered, magnolia tree is covered, the sidewalks are clear however, hopefully due to the days and days of warmth, so tomorrow we should have sunshine and 42, then 52 on Wednesday, and on up a bit Thursday getting us to normal. Wow, what a blow to the outdoor time. Oh well, it will be short lived. Carol, what a powerful time this is for you, those photos, which by the way are wonderful, capturing loved moments from long ago, and then this out of the blue message. How strong the Mikes are. Good for you Girlfriend. Debbie, on the road and trying to keep up with the legal stuff has got to be tiring. I am thinking of you and wishing for the very best. Sam is smiling on his super strong Mom. I know you might not feel super strong, but you are. Laurie, thanks, a better day today, a lighter day. Sometimes we just have to release. Sherry, my husband loves the garden as well. We mostly do perennial flowers but we do some veggies. It was glorious sitting in the garden the other day, just taking in the greening and the breezes. I saw one cabbage white moth yesterday. Wonder where he goes in this kind of weather. We saw industrious sparrows building nests on our drainpipe under the deep overhang...so many busy animals. Two very large rabbits hopping around, eating a lot of what we grow but it is hard to stay angry at a bunny. No worries for the weather, it will only last two days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wgreenlee Posted April 15, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 15, 2014 My Field of Dreams If there’s baseball in heavenPlease Lord, give him a good gloveHelp him rub it down with good oilYou know…just the way I used to Form it just right for his handLike I formed him for youNot perfect, but specialOne that can make a difference in the game Then go out and have a game of catchAn enduring pastime between Father and sonFeel the passion he has for the gameAnd the love he has for you You’ll never have one so eagerTo prove his worth…to make you proudHe never did anything halfwayAnd you’ll love him for that He’ll be a good teammateAlways steady at the plateWith enthusiasm and youthful vigorHe’ll play the game right And when the game is overAnd the tarp is pulled over the fieldYou’ll not regret your decisionTo put him on your team Missing you so much, buddy...I thought we would play catch forever. I love you, son...Dad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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