Loss of an Adult Child

[SamDsmom]

Susan;

What a wonderful picture. Thank you for sharing that story. I am very Touched. Can't share more right now, I just wanted to acknowledge and say Thank you

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

Thank you to all those who shared today...Debbie, Carol, Susan,

 

Some of our people who have been quiet lately but wanted to say I am thinking of you: Cherry, Wanda, Sandy, Karen, Jenn, Mary Ann, Surreal, Ted, I lift you up before the Father today....

 

Thinking of Colleen, Shannon, Lora....

 

What Carol posted on signs came home to me a bit...

 

Tomorrow will again be the second Wed of the month which is the accident day...

 

I was driving into town and just a certain moment looked down at my car's clock, it was 10:10 am (time of accident) this rattled me...I hate this, it happens often...

 

I went to the appointment I had and at 10:42 am the song Lora had posted a while back came on, "If I die Young", played, this is in the same hour that my son would have been passing...

 

This is the second time I hear it in the last three days, otherwise I never hear this song...

 

Come home sit at the computer and realize that today is also the passing day of my cousin's son (4/8/12), also named Jesse...he also died on a motorcycle...this funeral was something I had felt very pressed to go to and my aunt  specifically requested I handle bringing a remembrance to it (also very out of the norm), my own Jesse attended this funeral with me, I normally do not attend functions on for that side of the family, it just happened that way...then my Jesse was gone that fall...just a sad day...

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

Susan, I love John David's shirt...Jesse would have worn something like that too...

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

Kate, are you and Ross okay?

 

Becky, how are things with you, sending healing prayers....

 

Gretchen, haven't heard from you for awhile...

 

Thanks Dee for all you do for us here...

[Mermaid Tears]

Laurie....we find that it all can't be 'coincidence'.......and aren't we glad about that....

there are things unseen....all around us....

my heart breaks for you and the two 'Jesse's'....which is one of my son's names...

I love that name..Jesse....

it sorta speaks for itself...when you say it....it just comes out of your mouth and sends a 'free spirit' kind of mood with it....

and you can ....if you are still...and listen close....and hear the 'wind' in it....

 

I do believe our boys could have worn each other's wardrobe....

 

there is that song...'I Drive Your Truck'.....and I know you have your Jesse's truck...

well....I wear 'his shirts'....

 

Debbie....thank you for reading one of 'my stories'.....

[ericasmom]

Carol, oh my goodness, you fell down so hard, I ache in my own body knowing what you are feeling. I am amazed though, at your tenacity to see that game and to have a good time with your Daughter. That is so you. And I am very glad that you went to the hospital to get checked out, even though you had to wait a long while to get seen. Thankful you are not broken---time to do a bit of resting to heal. I do hope that the game will be fun this time, no falling allowed however. LOVE the heart in the elevator. My goodness those two Mikes, always shining on you.Thanks for thinking of My Eri and Little Erica too, the amazement of their dates is truly a gift. I amhappy that Kim and the girls will soon be there for a nice visit.

 

Susan, I know that we all have those special times that we remember so clearly, the last photo taken, your being there with John David on Easter last year, he was wearing that shirt, the same one he wore when he passed away. All of these thoughts are connected to one another, sometimes they free-fall through our minds-eye and we look at each individual event while other times, we see them all and we somehow rifle through them all just to take a look again. Holding out my hand to you as you go.

 

Kate, how is Ross and how are  you?

[Jeff's Mom]

Quickly stopping by to say I have been reading this week, but not much time to post. I am thinking of everyone, and hoping that now that spring has arrived it will help to give you a bit of a lift to your spirits.

 

Carol....gosh that fall sounds nasty! Dee is right in that you are such a strong woman and determined to keep going. Good for you! Hope you enjoy the game.

 

Shannon, I see you have been keeping busy working in your garden and getting things ready to plant. I can't wait to feel the earth between my fingers and enjoy planting my pots and gardens. I too love Morning Glory. They are such a lovely flower and the vine grows quickly.  I plant a multitude of coloured ones that grow up our  privacy wall on the deck. They are easy to grow and are showy.

 

Hope to post more later today and address everyone. Ross has surgery on Saturday morning. Prayers please.

 

Love to all. Kate

[Angel Boy of Mine]

omg, I had written a long post and it disappeared. More later, 

 

Hi group! I am writing my post this time in Word, so hopefully it won’t get lost before I hit reply! Geez….

 

Anyway, I had posted that I am doing somewhat better, but still a long way to go. Eye doctor wants to wait three more months and reexamine before doing any surgery, and ortho appt tomorrow to determine whether to continue physical therapy or schedule surgery for my torn shoulder. I vote for more therapy. I have no desire to go back to helplessness or more pain.Hands still not right, can’t type without a zillion mistakes to be corrected, very tiring.

Didn’t have enough on my plate, with all my health issues, or the fact of Jared’s 18^th birthday coming up this month…. so my daughter goes out to play pool with  a group of friends, and the driver that killed my son shows up there. My daughter made her way to the doorman to request they make her leave, which she did, but then  a week later, my daughter is arrested for assault, which did not happen, but apparently in Maryland, all anyone has to do is swear something happened and they issue a warrant. Ridiculous.

 

We had to go for prelim yesterday and have it postponed to

Acquire evidence etc, and we wore our “team J. West" shirts to court!! Pissed in her cheerios for sure… too bad.

We will explain how many times she has harassed us over the last two years, which was in DE, where you have to have pics or video before they will do anything!!

[Mermaid Tears]

Kate....gee.....what kind of surgery....when did you find out.....? Of course you will have many, many prayers...

how is Ross holding up ?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Becky...our Warrior Mom....we have missed you.

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

Kate, will be saying prayers for Ross's surgery....

Loving Father, we entrust Ross to Your care this Saturday; guide with wisdom and skill the minds and hands of the medical people who minister in Your Name, and please grant that every cause of illness be removed, that Ross may be restored to soundness of health.
 
Through Jesus Christ. Amen.

 

*******************************************

 

Becky, I am sorry that your daughter had this experience...I am just blown away by the lack of remorse on this person's part. In the end, it is important that your daughter is protected from this person...this is too hard for a young person to have to bear...

 

Maybe even a private investigator would be in order.

[Jeff's Mom]

Laurie and Susan, thanks for your thoughts and prayers. Ross has asked me not to discuss his health openly any longer on the site. We are grateful for all of the kindnesses shown and prayers sent. We are holding up ok, but very tired. 

 

Thinking of all of you and wishing you a peaceful and decent spring day. Kate

[MissKylie]

It is a place where we find our way in a group and where we do not need our masks, we are who we are right here in real time. No pretenses.

Thanks Dee for these words. I initially typed Thanks "Eri".

 

Yesterday, we had a client visit in the office. I call them technology genius and search engine rockstars. I'm supposed to be bragging why they should choose our account. But i was sleepy. I worked 6pm-6am the day before and then arrived home 7am the next day and sleep for an hour to meet the "genius" on 11am. And when it's my turn to speak, I lost for words. I drowned myself to work and grief. And it's taking over me. It was an epic fail in my career.

And I dreamt of Kylie. I also lost her in my dreams. I was crying. She told me, "Mommy, you have 2 babies" And i told her, "Yes, I have 1 baby girl and 1 baby boy." And i love the baby girl so much.

And then, I knew I would lost her again...And I was crying when I woke up.

Mama told me, it's a sin against God not to accept her lost. And I should be taking care  of myself and should not wreck my job.

I’m just tired. I just want to wake up seeing Kylie is with me again..

 

Becky, like Jared, Kylie’s birthday is coming up next month. She is turning 6 on May 6^th. But next month , she’ll have her birthday in heaven.

Earlier, a special child dropped by in our store. I was drinking softdrinks and offered him a toast. I felt better. How odd, the best normal people don’t know how to comfort. Am considering to visit a school for special children. Maybe, I will be healed there.

 

Laurie, the synchronicity. If I could have learned about it a long time ago. I should have known that Kylie will move on the other side. I could have spent more time with her.

 

Shannon, thank you for sharing Dani’s poem for Trista. Love the words. Hit me to the core. I miss Kylie so much

 

Debbie, my husband too says the same thing. That I should not go in this site. The other day, he went back to their province for a vacation. We both grieve but in totally different ways. He wants to ran away from grief. I’m embracing all of it. But it hurts us both.

 

Kate, we will be praying for Ross surgery. Will pray hard.

 

Susan, I have this kind of 'peace'.....for I really would not trade this grief ....in place of not having my John David.....for having him in my life...has still given it a richness that money cannot buy....

Same here Susan. When Kylie was born, angels could have known that they’ll have a new friend with Kylie after 5 years. I don’t regret giving birth to her. I just regret the times that I should have been with her more.

 

Wade, you are so sweet to your Brooks. Bless you always for the love you give to him. Pictures of you and Brooks are heartwarming.

 

Carol, thank you for thinking about Kylie. Knowing about Mike, I also think of the pain you had. And the feeling of how something so beautiful and too good to be true be taken away. This new role, being an Angel Mom is the hardest of all.

So I overheard what the “technology genius” said about Mahatma Ghandi. Gandhi meditates one hour a day. If he’s busy, he meditates for 2 hours.

So maybe, I should try to meditate for more than 2 hours. Since I’m busy and grieving.

 

And to all moms and dads here, thanks for coming in this site. For giving comfort. Sherry, Nick , Sarah's Mama, Steve's Mom...forgive me for not being able to mention everyone.

 

Love and Peace to all,

Kylie’s mommy- Mommy Cherry

[shorty16]

Cherry,

Your feelings are normal at this stage. I wished everyday Brian would walk through the door. Prayed for The Lord to take me instead.

Your co-workers do know you had a loss in your family. I learned I had to teach people how to treat me for a while. I was not functioning at the level my job required, and would not for a while.

Be kind to yourself. Consider yourself hugged.

Colleen, Brian's Mom 4ever

[shorty16]

Laurie

Love the prayer for Ross.

All I can say is.....Ditto

Colleen, Brian's Mom 4ever

[Mermaid Tears]

Kate....we are still a big 'cheering section' for you...no matter the information given....for really....all one needs to do is ask for 'extra prayers'...and it is a given....

[daveydow1]

Carol------So good to see your post !   Yikes...I'm so sorry about your

mishap.....very painful, I'm sure.  It's good there weren't any broken bones..

but the soreness is painful for awhile.  Hope that you are on the mend soon.

Yes,...planting bulbs in the fall will give you a nice spring flower show next

spring. Whoever lived here before we bought the place had quite a lot of

perennials planted, and my husband found a sale on daffodil and tulip bulbs

once, and planted them all over the yard, so we'll be getting more flowers as

the weather warms up. We saw many snowdrops the other day when we

went to an area park...also pansies...the perennial type, were blooming.

It will be so nice to have Kim & the girls up for a spring visit.

 

 

Dee----

Oh,... baby ERICA's birthday must have been so much fun, and a

real delight to see her growing and getting cuter by the day.

 

Debbie----It would have been nice if you could have caught a glimpse of

the falcons around their nesting area, but I guess they must have gone to

roost for the night.  

 

Becky-----Good to see your post. Sending prayers for your health.  Sorry

that your daughter had to run into that girl that killed JD....that would so

upset her, I'm sure.  You would think that girl would have just turned & left

when she noticed your daughter....so as to avoid any undue stress on

your daughter, but as you say......she has harassed your family in the

past, and the girl has no shame, or sympathy for anyone in your family....I'm sorry.

 

Kate------Sending thoughts & prayers for your dear husband.  Peace to you both.

 

PEACE   AND   COMFORT   TO  ALL   INDIGOS.

 

Davey&Lisasmom,     Sherry  

 

[Guest Trista's_Mom]

Cherry,

Thank you for what you said about the poem for Trista. I’m sorry you had that experience at work but hopefully those around you can understand. I know I’ve had my share of being so overwhelmed with this grief that I can barely function, can’t think straight, just shut down. I’m sending you hugs.

Kate,

I’m sending prayers your way. I have been busy with my garden planning. I’ve always enjoyed gardening but right now it’s become kind of an obsession. I’ve been having such a hard time and this helps somehow. There is something therapeutic about it for me. I’ve got my tomatoes and peppers growing in my bedroom window just waiting for the weather to be right to go outside. I’ve planted some new things in Trista’s garden… daisies and lavender. I’m watching all the flowers we planted last year start to come up. I’ve planted about a thousand herbs. This is the first year I’m doing almost everything from seed instead of starter plants. It’s nice to see them start to sprout and grow. Aiden is really enjoying it too. He loves to see how his little tomato plants ‘know’ to grow toward the sun. I love morning glories too. This year I planted a few different colors as well as the moon flowers that bloom at night instead of in the morning. I hope they grow well. Mine are also planted to grow up the privacy panel on our deck.

Becky,

I’m so sorry that you are all dealing with that. That woman… wow, I have no words. That’s so wrong. I’m glad you are doing somewhat better but I keep you in my prayers for your continued recovery.

Laurie,

The synchonicities do, as Susan said, go beyond any coincidence. Thinking of you and of Jesse tonight.

Debbie,

I agree with all that was said before. This place, for me… I don’t know where I would be without it, without all of you who make up this place. In the beginning some days, it was all I could do. I would come here and read and write and that might be the only thing I could do that day but it was something and I connected and felt less alone. I need this place. Many won’t understand but that’s okay. That’s why we come here. We support and understand each other.

Susan,

I read your story today and it touched my heart so much. I’m sending you lots of love. When I read your words…

I have this kind of 'peace'.....for I really would not trade this grief ....in place of not having my John David.....for having him in my life...has still given it a richness that money cannot buy....

Yes, this grief is intense and deep and forever but that is because my love for my Trista is intense and deep and forever. I would not trade one single second for relief from this grief. This grief is mine and I grieve as deeply as my love for my Girl.

Wade,

Sending prayers for Tiffani and her family and for you. You have such a generous heart and I know you truly ache for this family. The way share of yourself is an inspiration. I can see that was passed from father to son in the things that Brooks friends share about how he helped and inspired them.

Sherry,

I’m sorry you’re having groundhog trouble. For us, it’s moles. They are making tunnels all over the yard and under my raised garden beds. You can just see the tracks everywhere. I’m not sure what to do yet.

Carol,

I’m sorry you had that fall but I’m glad that nothing was broken and you are on the mend. I love the heart in the elevator. Thank you for sharing that. I agree, how can we not believe?

Dee,

Just wanted to say thank you for all the support you give to us all. You are a light for so many here. Just being grateful today for my friends here. I’m glad that I found you all when I did. I do believe our Angel’s have a hand in bring us here.

Today I have been planning Trista’s birthday and one year memorial. I woke up to a call from our attorney with news that this is going to drag out for a while. I knew that but I’m so tired. So, I started working on some ideas the girls and my family have helped me with. Right now, we are thinking a sort of ‘Remembrance Ceremony’ that afternoon. Some of the girls have things they wish they’d shared at her services but were still in too much shock to think. I know that feeling. I think that will a good thing. We’re going to have a campout at my house again. That night there is a 5k glow run. It’s a benefit for an organization that does things to empower young women in our community by working with ‘at risk’ girls, self esteem, depression, anxiety, etc. I think that’s something Trista would like us to support. The fact that it takes place on her birthday worked out perfectly. It’s also very Trista. She loved ‘night walks’ and glow sticks. When we went camping, sparklers and glow sticks were as essential as food as far as Tris was concerned. The walk is over at 11 and then we will all come back here for the campout for anyone who is staying. I think this will be a good thing for the girls. Most of them are graduating this year. They will be going off to college and moving forward with their lives. It will nice to have them all together that night to talk and remember my Girl. I'm having glow in the dark t-shirts made for us all to wear on the run in honor of Tris. I know a lot of you are very creative. If you have any thoughts for what to put on the shirts... I am struggling with that. Maybe something to do with Trista and glowing but I'm not doing too well coming up the right thing.

[ericasmom]

How about:

Walking in the light you shed----or

Let your Lumins guide us ---or Brighter than the stars--- on the front

 

On the back:

Trista Mae

birth/death

or

Swift but luminescent

Trista Mae

 

Kate my heart skipped a beat when you told us that your Sweetie will be having surgery. All I can do is pray that the very best outcome is what will come of this and that the two of you can rest in the expertise of your surgeons and doctors. I am holding your hand and your heart.

 

Cherry, I am glad to be of some help to your broken heart. I wish those that did not understand what it is to be you would just stop talking at you, at any of us when we are grieving. You are not unusual to wish your Kaylie here, it is what we all did for a long time. It is not offensive to God or any maker I think, the love we share is equal to the love we mourn. The love will be forever, the pain will ease over time, lot's of time, but she will always be with you in your thoughts and in your heart. Nobody gets to intrude on that.

 

 

Becky, I am glad that you are getting better and I hope that the prognosis is good. I keep you in my heart and send hope and prayer your way. I am so sorry for the position that your Daughter was put in, that has got to be hard, and now being charged with this offense? Well she has parents that love and support her and a brother who is smiling on her all the time.

 

Sherry, it was a delight at the birthday party. Erica makes me grin inside and out. Your daffodils and tulips will be lovely I am sure. We have some tiny daffodils open today, so pettite adn adorable. Today at school, my third graders helped me clean out the 6 planting boxes. Under all of the leaf-litter and stems of old plants are tulips coming through the dirt, a miracle to me. We have planted seeds from 21 kinds of veggies, and when they are ready, they will be put in the garden beds. Lettuce, kale, soy beans, bush beans, snap peas, cucumbers, lemon cucumbers, basil, thyme, rosemary, cilantro, 4 kinds of tomatoes, carrots, summer squash, and more. What fun! This will be the second year of our Community Garden. I am in charge of garden club, my husband built the boxes...so I take delight in it.

 

Debbie, Laurie, Gretchen, Susan, Betsy, Maryanne, Betty, Trudi, Carol, Wanda, Jen, Sandy, Shelly, Ted, Wade, and Lora...

[ericasmom]

Shannon, I put plastic bags over my seed containers to encourage the moisture, it works and we had sprouts of many plants after 3 days.

[Guest]

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[Guest]

...

[ericasmom]

Shannon, I agree with Lora, the ideas for the birthday for Shannon sound amazingly 'right'. Sounds like Trista through and through, the walk, the camp out. What a great way for her friends to come together and be able to say how they have been, how they have changed, how they have managed in this time. Blessings to you as you continue to plan and make arrangements. Glad that your Son is enjoying the gardening.

 

Lora, no offense taken whatsoever, it is a gift well deserved as Wade has opened his treasures to all of us so readily. I am glad that you are able to do this for him.

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

Shannon,

 

Here is a thought from me on the Tee Shirt

 

[Sholl1955]

Hello to all.

I have been reading but not much to say.   My hubby is still struggling with severe pain.  He has a myelogram on Friday which will hopefully show what needs to be done.   Missing Sarah so.  She always was there for her Daddy when he wasn't doing well..

Have a quiet evening.

 

 

 

Sandy

[wgreenlee]

Cara...

When I look at Cara's picture I see that smile, and I see a young woman full of confidence and love of life.  She must have been a heck of an athlete too.  It is so nice when your child is remembered for all those attributes that you, as a parent, hoped would be a continual part of their life.  I have printed the collage and placed it into a frame and it now is added to my photo memories.  Thank you, again!

 

Shannon...

I know someone mentioned that you should frame that wonderful poem, so I framed those words in this video of love and friendship.

 

 

Dee...

"Erica makes me grin inside and out."  That is how it should be.  I know it will take time, but I find myself looking for those moments now more than before.  You must have a very green thumb...so very special for your children to be able to see Mother Nature at work.  I remember as a young boy having to tend to our farm garden.  Always seemed like so much work, but eating everything was so much fun.  We always had our chores before we could take the horses out, or take off into the woods.  Much simpler life then.  Brooks was very proud of his little garden last year.

 

 

Sherry...

I do need to brush up on my horticulture.  I'm trying to grow some flowers, but the desert just isn't the best.  I use potting soil and all that, but some just don't take.  I'm going to get some new ones this weekend and give it another try...

 

Susan...

"all one needs to do is ask for 'extra prayers'...and it is a given...."  Yes, Susan....and your comfort in that area is always so appreciated.  I can feel that compassion even over these many, many miles.  What a nice pic and memory...even though it brings up new grief.  I have Brooks' jerseys from "little league to college" displayed on his bed...all arranged neatly and in order for the time when he will need them again.  Just like I helped him when he was getting ready for every game.  Always asked him.."Are you sure you have everything?" ... and when he was in little league.."Got your cup on?"  Who knows when that will change.  We were going to put a treadmill in his room, but decided to just use it in the dining area.  Crazy ideas we have in are grief...not much normal anymore, but that's ok, because it is "our" grief!!!

 

"Mommy" Cherry...

Grief can be so overwhelming.  Sometimes I also find myself wondering what I'm doing.  I know I need to let up a little at work, as well, but I can't right now.  You do what you can...I hope they understood.  You are such a good businesswoman that there will be more opportunities if this falls through.  As to sinning...I sin every day...but I never sin when I mourn my son...ever.  Our love is continual and so our grief will be too.  You will be ok...but there is no pressure or timetable...  As I enter my 8th month of mourning I am "better", but not whole...I am still so sad, but yet can now find some happiness in new "things", but am trying always to relive old memories.  My life still revolves around Brooks...little memories...friendships...trips to his site...  It is how he and I lived and bonded...and that will never change.  Love and prayers to you!

 

Kate...

Even without the words...continual prayers will be uplifted your way.

 

Laurie...

Wonderful prayer for Ross and Kate...and I echo it to you, Lord.  Today is that dreaded 9th of the month...when thoughts turn to death instead of life...we know what those "forever" days mean.  Will be thinking of your Jesse on this day!

 

Becky...

I am happy that your health is getting better, but will be saying additional prayers for a complete recovery.  Sure do miss you!  I am proud of Jasmine and hope like heck that the court sees it that way too.  Jared, look out after your momma and sister.  My friend, Rod, and I are still working on his Mustang.  Doing lots of dent fixing and sanding.  I always think of JD's car when I do this work, and want to be proud of the job when it is done.  Many hugs to you and Jasmine as you navigate this part of your journey.

 

Hoping everyone else is going ok...share when you can...we will be here!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

From Shannon, "In the beginning some days, it was all I could do. I would come here and read and write and that might be the only thing I could do that day but it was something and I connected and felt less alone. I need this place. Many won’t understand but that’s okay. That’s why we come here. We support and understand each other."

 

This is so very true for me as well....

 

Sandy, I am sorry your husband is not feeling well...will add him to my prayers tonight...

 

Sherry, someone once told me "Flowers are food for the soul..." it sounds like your yard is lovely with such a variety of them...

 

Cherry, it is very hard to balance your grief and work...it is still very soon after your daughter's passing so be gentle to yourself...personally have been in many IT meetings , it probably was not as bad as you think.... Very few true coders/experts -- who are usually the geek that sits in the corner who hasn't changed his clothes in a week...(our geek from my former workplace was finally told to go home and shower =) , he was a great coder though...

 

Lora, thanks for sharing the encouragement about Jesse...my husband has been withdrawing more and more into his own space....maybe considering an early retirement...

 

Christina is still struggling hard...just trying to get her balance in life now that her brother isn't here...

 

I am still thinking about Becky's post, I told my husband about it...there just are no words for that woman's shameful behavior towards Jasmine...there are people in this world that are so black-hearted, with no soul...prayers for protection from this woman for your family Becky....

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

Wade, thank you for sharing the pic of Brooks garden....I had to smile when I read the reminder about wearing the "cup"...my youngest son was in baseball but Jesse was a totally uncoordinated (he was okay with that it was just him)...he once ran a race for his school against another, but had lost his shoe half way though... so ran with one foot barefoot. He actually placed first but was disqualified...guess he needed both shoes...

 

How is Tiffani and family?

 

Dee, I am glad to hear the birthday party turned out so well....your little grand daughter has changed so much just since I have been on here...our grandson, Benton, has just started walking...he looks so funny because he walks with his legs so far apart...

 

[ericasmom]

Laurie and Lora, love your ideas for the Trista shirt...so many hearts make creative work. Yes Laurie, Little Pumpkin has changed and each day something new marks her collection of the world.

 

Wade, you are in what zone for your gardening efforts? We are in zone 5 so plants that flourish in zone 5 work here... are you planting the plants that work in your area? You probably are, but they may be temperamental plants.

[Mermaid Tears]

Becky ...our Warrior Mom....many on this site will agree that this is an insult to injury...for your family...and we are very disturbed that salt is poured on your wound...we know you will be strong for Jasmine ...stress only makes one back track in recovery...please continue to 'self care'...so your health issues do not multiply. This is simply bizarre..

[Mermaid Tears]

Lora....I do believe you are a 'jewel'.....I so relate to the finger prints...when Austin was a toddler I lived in Slidell...and had these sliding glass doors that led to the outside from our game room...I had them replaced with French doors....but on the doors were Austin's little handprints...I never cleaned them off....later someone came and bought them...and I told him I was just a sentimental Nonnie...and not a bad housekeeper....he understood. Thank you for your caring and compassionate creative 'heart'.....

 

Shannon....I do believe you have planned a '100% Trista' celebration....and am sure so many of her friends want to give voice to their relationship...and the journey they have been on since losing their 'Trista friend'.....like the poem written....the young have a very amazing depth....if given a chance to voice and share it.....

   like your Trista....the celebration is truly a magical...stardust...moonshine and loving...

[ericasmom]

Susan, I too loved Lora's fingerprint story, thanks for sharing Lora. I can so relate. The other day I was digging through my boxes of posters and calendars that I keep here at school to use for various things...in the box are three calendars that hold the writing of my girl...one square says, Babysit at kims at 6:15...and all sorts of hints into that year. Oh my heart definitely skipped and the bittersweet was pulsing through me. But a treasure to my soul.

[Mermaid Tears]

Dee....such priceless...small...everyday...indiscriminate treasures....

and it does make one's heart feel as if it constricts...

[Mermaid Tears]

They...(the Tree company) is cutting down the Big Oak today....

I said my good-byes...

I said I was sorry...

to the tree....

[Angel Boy of Mine]

Gold JD thumbprint charm added to the gold heart and his baby ring with the letter "J". Thumbprint is etched so you can actually feel it! This was my Christmas gift from my hubby. Precious!

 

[hopeful40]

Hello all!

 

It's been quite a while since I've been on the site.  Had a few mishaps to beset me.  Am doing much better now.  Sustained a third degree burn on my leg.  Thus, being UNABLE to care for the "rescue dog," my daughter, Ayanna found...had to place him in an animal shelter (hardest thing to do)!  He was such a beautiful, loveable dog.  (Whenever I looked at him, I'd always think of "Yana.") He was almost 15 months old.  Needless to say, he did not remain in the shelter very long.  He was adopted quickly!  I've claimed he is in a good home.

 

What started out as a family of four...resulted in now being a two member family.  Bijou (our ten year old  Shih Tzu), and I, continue to hang in there.

 

The road continues to be rough without my precious child being by my side; hugging, kissing and telling her I love her.  Daily, I do ask God to give me the strength to carry on.  He does answer my prayers, but it is such a difficult task  as we ALL know.

 

Hopefully, I will attempt to resume visiting the site a little more frequently.

 

Please.  Know that each of you are in my prayers.  We must be: "Strong in the Lord and in power of HIS might."  Ephesians 6:10

 

Be blessed,

 

Barbara

[ericasmom]

Barbara, it is good to see you though I am so sorry for your injury and to having to give up the dog that belonged to Anyanna. Keep us posted as to how you are feeling.

 

Becky, that is an amazing necklace, thanks for sharing. Love the thumbprint.

[Guest Trista's_Mom]

Barbara,

It was good to see your post. I’ve wondered how you were. I’m sorry to read about the burn. I’m sure Ayanna understands completely about having to give up the dog but I know it had to be a very hard decision. Knowing he was adopted quickly to a good home I’m sure helps your heart but your sweet Girl would want you doing whatever is needed to take care of yourself, I’m sure.

Becky,

I love that precious gift from your husband. I’ve never seen anything like that before. It’s such a sweet touch stone of your Jared to keep close to your heart.

Susan,

I must have missed something with the tree. You know, my MIL and I were just having a conversation… they are doing some remodeling. The plans brought to her included taking down one of her favorite trees. She said no way! It reminded me of Trista. She talked to the trees when she was little. She was a literal ‘tree hugger’. I had to take down two of mine… apple trees but they were very sick and it wasn’t a choice. It still made me sad.

Dee,

Finding that calendar and those little notations… the every day things that were part of Erica’s life at that time. I know how much those things mean. Thank you for your ideas for sayings for the shirts. I love all the suggestions.

Lora,

I also was really touched with your story of Cara’s fingerprints on the mirror. I can understand why you don’t wash it… seeing just the spot where she touched. Thank your for the ideas for the shirts for Trista’s day.

Laurie,

Thank you for the idea for the shirt. That is one of my favorite pictures of Trista… just minutes after her braces were taken off and she smiled so big. I’ve been thinking of you today.

Wade,

The video… thank you. It is perfect. The song too, is just right. I appreciate that so much. You are such a good friend to all of us. I really have no words for how much that touched me. I am going to share it with Dani. I think she will love it as much as I do. I loved seeing the picture of Brooks’ garden. It made me smile. Trista always helped in our garden. She loved to eat the radishes as she picked them. She had asked for a space just for her own flowers. It was so early in the season we hadn’t done it yet. Now, I have her garden for her and I bet she and Brooks have one heck of a heavenly garden.

[Guest Trista's_Mom]

Sandy,

I'm sorry to hear your husband is in so much pain. I'm sending prayers for both of you.

[Mermaid Tears]

Yes.....I will  post the 'painting' I created of the tree that Essie and I went and picked pecans up every year....

I won ...1st Place in the Corpus Christi Art Fair....

I named it...

Essie and Ham's Pasture....

for the tree was in the pasture....

it was there that Essie looked in the distant...at a grove of trees and said...

There is not a cathedral built

...by man.... that is any better than that...

I think I have posted this before....sorry for the repetition....

[ericasmom]

I am a tree hugger, literally. I talk to trees still- and one day I said that I touched one of my favorite giants on my morning walk and said " Hi old Girl." My students Veronica and Sydney screamed because Veronica had said that same thing on their walk to school that morning. Those girls are freshman now, and when we see each other they ask if I am still talking to the old trees. "yep, of course."

Susan, I sure am sad about your old Oak. I know how sad it is to see that loss, to feel the warmth where once was shade, the umbrella of her crown. Now a hole, a cavity in the ground where her roots once unfurled. I have a book somewhere, it refers to loss through the oak momma and her acorn.

I will find it.

[wgreenlee]

Barbara...

It was so special to see you here tonight.  I've thought about you and Ayanna many times.  Sorry about the troubles...sometimes we are sorely pressed, but I am glad you are continuing to move forward.  It certainly is a long journey.  This site has been such a blessing and I hope you will continue to share with us.  

 

Laurie...

That is a beautiful idea for a shirt...that wonderful smile from Trista to brighten any day.  The message is true indeed.  The story about Jesse and his lost shoe made me smile.  I can really see it.  He would never be the type of person to quit.  Certainly how he lived his life...to the very fullest.  Thank you for that memory for me.  Thinking of Christina.  Since Brooks was an only child he never knew that special bond, but it must be a little like he had with his very closest friends.  Chad visits his grave often.  He and his sister planted some flower seeds by his grave...don't know what the funeral home will say, but for now they are buried and when they blossom...no matter what happens...I will be blessed by that gift.  Chad's daughter, Zoey, born two days after Brooks' passing is such a delight for him, and he often mentions Brooks as her uncle.  So Brooks had a kind of "brother" that will be forever in my heart.

 

Sandy...

Thinking of you and your hubby.  Praying for good results.  When I think of Dee and her school children I always think of Sarah too.

 

Dee...

I didn't know there were "zones."  Ooops!  I looked it up...7a.  So what does that mean?  One of Brooks' plants was a "victory rose" so I would like to try and plant one again.  His tulips are coming up, and then there's some other flower that is blossoming a nice red flower, but it's not a rose.  I'll take a picture and show you this weekend.  There are a few of those.  Funny how are interests change...flowers were never part of my makeup before, but now seem to mean something bigger...

 

Lora...

Cara's fingerprints seem to send a special message.  I, also, would not wipe them clean.  It is a special remembrance of the "ordinary" things are children left us.  Sometimes those are the best.  I know when I see Brooks' handwriting on letters and lyrics he wrote I find a special place in my heart to store them.  I haven't looked at a lot of them...just a little at a time.  I want them to last.  I am afraid of the time when there are no more new memories.

 

Susan...

Sorry about the tree.  I thought of the Lord of the Rings movie when I saw that, where Treebeard helps save the day.  Brooks has a couple of nice trees right by his grave and I am waiting for them to show themselves...to sit in their shade and share Brooks with them.  I am looking forward to seeing your painting.  You have a gift... I had an art teacher many years ago create a large sketch of Renea from a photograph, and it looks so much like her.  Just don't know how you guys do that.

 

Becky...

JD's thumbprint is a wonderful gift.  So many connections here... How did you do it?  How is Jasmine?  Praying so much for you all.

 

Shannon...

I am glad you liked the video.  I was in a kind of bad place and was starting videos for everyone and decided to get yours finished after reading that poem.  I can't seem to start a new one for Brooks, but sharing his heavenly friends is healing for me.  I had so many songs in mind and finally found that one.  It seemed right.  I do hope it brought some peace...and I thought of Dani too.

 

We had a little fundraiser for Tiffani today at school.  Students paid a dollar to wear "ordinary" clothes, as our school requires uniforms.  Raised about $600 dollars...kids asked what it was for so I shared Tiffani's story...they were sad, but had so much empathy for her.  One of my classes then made digital cards and we picked one of them to bring to Tiffani and her family.  I will do that on Saturday.  They don't know about it, but certainly can use it...even just the gesture to let them know that Tiffani is in many prayers.  Kinda "funny," but one of the students asked it they could put a prayer in her card...schools seem to frown on that...but we don't...so I said you write whatever you want.  Tiffani isn't doing well...Faith thinks it won't be long, but only God knows...right?  Was looking at photos of she and Brooks...at Lake Tahoe...school...basketball...fun in the summer...she is such a beautiful, young women.  Thank you for thinking of her.

 

[wgreenlee]

Dee...

Thought you would enjoy this...

 

[Guest Trista's_Mom]

Laurie,

I know it's hard to see Christina struggling. Our other Children grieve so differently. Zak is younger, only 15. He's seemes to do okay and sometimes I wonder how much he thinks of his sister. They were so close. The other day I lost my phone and had to use his to make a call. I saw that he had Trista's picture as his background on his phone. Those our his ways. He's quiet in his grief but I know he misses her so much. I've been told just to keep my eye on him and not to be surprised if things hit him harder even a year from now because sometimes young people hold it all together until they think they're parents are stronger and then let themselves breakdown. I'll keep Christina in my prayers.

I agree with Wade. I loved the story of Jesse and his shoe. He shouldn't have been disqualified! He should have been congratulated for perseverance. I'd have probably given up. It definitely made me smile. Neither Tris nor Zak are athletic. At least not in an 'organized sports' way. They were both ok with that and so was I. They both have always loved the outdoors as I know Jesse did. We've always camped and hiked and those sorts of things but neither of them have ever had much interest in sports.

Dee,

I love the story about the way you and the girls both talked to the old tree. Yep, I don't always talk to trees out loud but I do touch and send love. I learned that from my Girl. It was so neat to watch her 'communing with the trees' when she was young and she never lost that love of nature. I tried your plastic bag method. I hope I have as good of results as you did. Thank you!

Susan,

I don't remember the story of the painting. I missed it somehow but would love to see it and I love Essie's words.

Aiden started t-ball last night. He's only 4 years old but his Dad has hope that he will love baseball the way he did. We shall see. He is after all my Son. My husband is coaching the little ones this year. I tried to give him some pointers with the 3 and 4 year olds using my years of teaching preschool. He pretty much told me that he was the sports expert. So last night at practice I stood back and let him do his thing until he looked at those crazy kids running all over the field and then looked at me pleadingly. He decided he might need me as an assistant. I had a lot of fun with the kids. I was kind of in my element so I think it will be a good thing for me to help with this summer.

The other day they had a 'mock crash' at the high school. They do it every year but this year it was dedicated to Trista. Her friend was 'in charge' and the driver of the car spoke. I was going to allow Zak to stay home that day but his guidance counselor allowed him to sit it out with his girlfriend so he didn't have to miss school. It was his choice not to watch. He said he understands why they do these things but he doesn't have to watch something like that. He knows first hand.

I found out that the school in the next town over is doing their mock crash dedicated to Trista also as she had friends there too.

I have mixed feelings about all of this right now.

[ericasmom]

WADE here is a page that will take you to zone 7 plants...

https://www.greatgardenplants.com/index.php?pageId=471

 

LOVE the video.

[Guest Trista's_Mom]

Wade,

Tiffani is beautiful. Thank you for sharing her picture. The fundraiser your school did sounds like a wonderful thing to do for her and her family. I’m sure they will be so touched to be thought of in that way. You’re right about the flowers and gardening. There is something so good about it for me right now. Trista always said, “Flowers are the earth laughing”. I think of that as I take care of her garden and in the summer when everything blooms, I think I will feel her Spirit there.

[Angel Boy of Mine]

Wade, I ordered the thumbprint charm from a site called picturesongold . I had a set of fingerprints that was done when Jared was about 10, as a part of an ID kit. My brotherinlaw did them as he was a part of the fire department in the town where he lives. They were able to enlarge it to fit the charm, which is about an inch wide, as their prints don't change except to get bigger. 

 

Jared and I used to play thumb wars, and touching this charm reminds me of that. Thank you for asking about Jasmine. She and all of us are having a hard time preparing for another court date and having to see the driver again. It has just brought forth all the painful memories once again. This woman tried to stare holes through my husband and I when she was leaving the courtroom. I don't understand what her issues are, but since we never got an opportunity in any court to give any type of impact statement, I am hoping this will present the opening, in having to explain how we know this person, to say how she has shattered our lives and continues to. Now I am once again waking up in the morning with some aspect of that night on my mind, all over again. Jasmine feels like she can't risk going out anywhere in the meantime, as we now know the extent this person will go to in order to try to hurt us. 

[Guest Trista's_Mom]

A poem I wrote this morning with my Trista in my heart...

Demeter and Persephone, The Dance of the Mother and Daughter

A Song of Spring For Trista

Arise from your sleep, Beautiful Child

Come up from the darkness to greet the sun

The deep sleep of winter is over

The awakening has begun

Your fresh rains will bring renewal

To the barren lands of your Mother

As the tears I’ve cried for you, my Love

Will herald your arrival

For it is only you who fills my heart

With the love that lets the crocus bloom

Your beauty, your innocence, your color and light

Will give every blossom hue

The Earth will rejoice

And the flowers will laugh

To see Mother and Daughter together

Come take my hand, My Beautiful Girl

Dance through the fields of heather

Bringing abundance with every step

Life will flourish in your wake

Color my world again with your laughter

And the beauty you create

My heart was frozen in the bleakness

In the absence of your light

Now I cherish your return

From our darkest night

The iris will sway

In the sweet breeze of your breath

As you awaken your Mother

From her wintery death

You will embrace the land

With your ambrosia wind

And the sky is filled with rainbows

As our sacred dance begins

The Earth will sing at your return

A song too divine for mortal ears

But they will see and their souls will know

As the butterflies return to fields

Shannon

[Guest Trista's_Mom]

Becky,

It’s horrible that you and your family have to deal with this. Jasmine shouldn’t feel that she can’t go where she wants to go because of the actions of this woman. I do hope, if nothing else, it will give you a chance to state exactly what this person has done to your family and the pain she has caused. I’m thinking of you all as you deal with this.

[ericasmom]

ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, I DECLARE A THUMB WAR! I used to play that with my kids too.

Becky, I know that the court date coming is playing war with your heart and spirit, but remember that your health and Jasmine's health require you to take it slow and steady if you can. Your boy's thumbprint will remind you that he s with you and standing with you, wanting you to find the light he is casting for you.

 

Wade, I agree that Tiffani is a beautiful woman, and it is heartbreaking that she is having to leave this world in this way, but I agree, only God knows when. I am so glad that the kids got involved in the fund raising. We have a student in our school just diagnoser who has an inoperable brain tumor right now...my heart aches for her as she faces a bleak time but right now, she looks great and is feeling pretty good and her friends have gathered around her after her 6 weeks out for chemo. Life is so damn tricky, we don't get to know why, we only can know how, and that is day to day.

[ericasmom]

Shannon, your poem is pure beauty, the kind that floats and teaches us what ethereal is. Beautiful, let your heart be untethered.