Lots Of Stress And Grief While Starting New Life

[tnd]

On 12/31/2021 at 3:08 PM, KayC said:

Joe I will always miss and love you, sweet Joe.  I think his pain contributed to his biting.  He was deaf, going blind, in pain.  You deserved better, Joe.

KayC:  I'm sorry about your furry friend, Joe. Despite the biting I'm sure he enjoyed the walks with you. Not all people take the time to understand dogs and their behavior. You did tho and Joe probably knew it. 

[tnd]

Sorry I haven't been on. Was feeling really down and in no mood to talk. Sometimes it all catches up to me. Doing a little better today.

Good news FINALLY....I HAVE A PHONE!! Starting tomorrow I can call and check availability for an apartment. I've been emailing a lot of places but rarely get a response. I think it has something to do with Covid and employees working remotely, or else places are overwhelmed with people looking for an apartment, so they don't bother to respond. There is a housing crunch and so they don't necessarily have to beg for business. I pray I can get into a place VERY soon. 

I'll try to post more later. Feeling the effects of the Methotrexate today.   

[steveb]

38 minutes ago, tnd said:

I pray I can get into a place VERY soon. 

 

tnd … you can add my prayer too!! Please keep us updated.  

[John9]

1 hour ago, tnd said:

Good news FINALLY....I HAVE A PHONE!!

tnd,

One step at a time, hopefully forward. Maybe the delay in responses is also due to the holidays, I know nothing has been done in weeks around here. Hoping for the best.

[Gail 8588]

On 9/26/2021 at 9:13 AM, John9 said:

. . .  It hurts, it sucks and I hate it and if I ignore that I feel that am dishonoring my wife's memory.

John9, 

I also suffered greatly in my grief over my husband's death.  I don't think I considered it dishonoring him if I didn't live in pain every waking minute.  My brain told me I deserved to suffer, because I failed to save him. 

Three years I felt only pain or totally numb. I could not allow myself to engage in life. I was going crazy, I was in such pain and there would never be an end to it, because my love was never coming back.

Somehow, I found a way to let myself off the hook for not saving my love. I have no real clue as to how that happened. Slowly, I was able to see and feel the world again. 

Looking back on it now, I think it was this "grief brain" that held me captive for so long. 

I hope that one day soon your brain will allow you to feel like you are still honoring your loving wife without being in constant pain. 

I know my words will not change how you feel.  Only your own brain can bring about that change. But I want you to know you won't always be in this pain. 

Gail

[Sparky1]

tnd, it looks like some light is finally starting to shine at the end of the tunnel. I also pray and hope that getting a phone will bring you closer to getting your own place.

[Gail 8588]

6 hours ago, tnd said:

Good news FINALLY....I HAVE A PHONE!! Starting tomorrow I can call and check availability for an apartment. 

Wonderful news!  I am so very glad you will have your own phone!  Some control over your destiny! 

Praying for a good apartment to become available to you very soon.

Gail 

[John9]

9 hours ago, Gail 8588 said:

Looking back on it now, I think it was this "grief brain" that held me captive for so long. 

I hope that one day soon your brain will allow you to feel like you are still honoring your loving wife without being in constant pain. 

I know my words will not change how you feel.  Only your own brain can bring about that change. But I want you to know you won't always be in this pain. 

Gail

Gail 8588,

I know that whatever happens will happen in its own time. That is also part of the problem, time feels so different now and even though I am only a little over 9 months in my grief it seems like much longer. I woke up way too early this morning to too many thoughts again and the torture started again. I can only say that I am happy that people who are here care so much and it does help me, but my brain has never really been my friend. It has always been too active, which id=s why I have stated that I used music to distract me but now even that hurts because it triggers me. I am still here and I am still taking one day at a time and that is all I can do and I know it.

[KayC]

11" more predicted tonight.  Yay.  I'm too exhausted to deal with it but have to.  Not looking forward to tomorrow, this is hard enough, can't even be upright on this snowpack/ice!

George would have been helping me, I would have been fixing us hot drinks!

17 hours ago, tnd said:

Good news FINALLY....I HAVE A PHONE!!

Oh my gosh, YES!!!  So good to hear good news we've long awaited!  This means all the difference in the world!  Your own control over connection to the world!

 

[KayC]

17 hours ago, tnd said:

I pray I can get into a place VERY soon. 

This is all of our prayer!

[KayC]

11 hours ago, Gail 8588 said:

I don't think I considered it dishonoring him if I didn't live in pain every waking minute

This is worth framing.  I read an article early on similar to the following, wish I'd saved it but little did I know back then I'd use what I went through to try to help others going through it...I couldn't see past the two ft. in front of me at the time.
Remember it is not our grief that binds us to them, it is our love, and it continues still...

Smile Permission

[John9]

12 minutes ago, KayC said:

George would have been helping me, I would have been fixing us hot drinks!

KayC,

I only had a very small amount compared to what you are dealing with, but that was the only thoughts I had yesterday. My loving wife would have been warming me up in many ways when I was done as she had done "forever" and now it seems like it has been forever since I saw her.

 

8 minutes ago, KayC said:

Remember it is not our grief that binds us to them, it is our love, and it continues still...

I do understand, but also I grieve because of how much I LOVE her and miss her and.....

[Gail 8588]

2 hours ago, KayC said:

11" more (snow) predicted tonight.  

Kay, 

So sorry your snow storm  saga continues.  The heat wave down here finally broke. Today will be in the low 50s, tonight the high 30s.  Much more typical of a Florida winter.  It feels good to have a chill in the air and to be able to wear a sweater. 

Hoping your weather gives you a break soon.  Hoping this 11 inches of snow will be light powder. 

Gail

[tnd]

On 1/2/2022 at 4:51 PM, John9 said:

Maybe the delay in responses is also due to the holidays, I know nothing has been done in weeks around here.

John9:  Tried calling about an apartment today, no answer. So, no email replies and nobody answering phones. Nobody besides Wally World wanting to do business?? I can order something from Walmart and have it in 3 days. But I can't live there.  

[tnd]

21 hours ago, Gail 8588 said:

Praying for a good apartment to become available to you very soon.

Gail 8588:  Considering what I can afford I already know it's not going to be that great of a place, but I will make it homey. Because of my finances and the fact that I want to be able to have some sort of life, I have to go super cheap. I don't plan on having to spend my entire monthly benefits check just to sit and eat Top Ramen. I'd like to be able to eat real food and maybe cook again and who knows, maybe get out a little. Or get a hobby. And I will need to spend a little to do that stuff. With that being said, it does depress me to think about where I will have to live. The apartment my husband and I had was beautiful. I know he did not intend to have me live in a crime-infested neighborhood in a dump. But this is going to be about survival now. If I'm to move forward and try to enjoy life again then this is what I have to do. I am already down from knowing that no amount of "positivity" will ever bring my husband back. I don't even know if I'm going to recover from any of this. I want to move forward but I won't know if I can do it until I get my own place and try living by myself.  

[tnd]

10 hours ago, John9 said:

seems like it has been forever since I saw her.

John9:   I feel the same way when thinking about my husband. I've actually sat and pictured every detail of his smiling face because I'm afraid my mind will lose the images. Sure, I can say I will never forget him and I won't but, I worry that over time I might forget what he looked like and all the details of his face. Scares me. 

[Gail 8588]

43 minutes ago, tnd said:

I worry that over time I might forget what he looked like and all the details of his face. Scares me. 

Tnd, 

I certainly hope you will.have some photographs of your husband  among your possessions in storage.  But if there are not, you still may be able to obtain some photographs from others. If you contact his prior employers, they may have photos of him they would send you. Friends you had in past years would share copies of photos they may have of him or the two of you together.  If you were members of any group, a church, a garden club, a book club anything, they may have a photograph of him. 

I don't think your mind will ever forget the contours of his face, but having a photograph may relieve your anxiety.  

One less thing to worry about.

Gail

[tnd]

1 hour ago, Gail 8588 said:

I certainly hope you will.have some photographs of your husband  among your possessions in storage. 

Gail 8588:  I have his Drivers License with me but he looks mad in the picture. I don't think I could look at him like that every day. Especially since he rarely even showed his anger. He was more of the quiet subdued type. I might have to ask his parents for photos. 

Funny story: My husband was adopted as an infant by an Italian family. His biological parents were Scottish. He told me of a day when he was a young boy that he got into trouble and his father chewed him out for it. My husband just stood there, looking at his father. This made his dad even more angry and he yelled, "DON'T YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?!" And without missing a beat, my husband said, "No. I don't get upset like you, I'm Scottish".     The quiet, subdued type...

[KayC]

12 hours ago, John9 said:

I grieve because of how much I LOVE her and miss her

That's understood.

10 hours ago, Gail 8588 said:

Hoping this 11 inches of snow will be light powder.

So far it's heavy wet snow, hard to move.  Most will come in tonight.  

Kodie didn't get his play date, I took him down there but Jazzy was stuck in the house and their gate open, waiting for Iris to come back from chemo, so we had to turn around and go home.  We didn't get our cuddle time either, Dish Network stopped working lost 113 recordings and it will not get reception, spent 2 1/2 hours on the phone with them, have to wait all afternoon for them tomorrow, IF they can get here.  I told them about the snow but you know how customer service listens, we'll see.

I didn't schedule an appt with my internet but they said they're coming, I canceled, got a message they're coming, guess they don't listen.  It's fine, just weather related.  Can I have anything else thrown at me?

Got a call starting at 3:30 am from the admin of the diabetic group I'm in...pretty early, was contacted all day as I was trying to deal with blizzard and winds up too 85 mph, total devastation here, trees/limbs down everywhere, looks like my place was hit the worst.  Picked up branches in the road, would have been nice if someone else would have too, let the old lady do it.  I hope tomorrow Kodie gets a play date in the morning at least and we can have cuddle time and watch t.v. in the evening.  I hope that's not too much to ask.

I guess I need to get my Christmas decorations taken down in the morning as time permits as they'll be in the way with the dish guy comes.  Not bothering with the tree yet though.

I have no clue how I'll get rid of the snow, I'm exhausted.

[tnd]

6 minutes ago, KayC said:

I have no clue how I'll get rid of the snow, I'm exhausted.

KayC:  Girl, you need to make yourself a non-alcoholic cocktail. Now, if you WERE to put anything in it, I won't say anything and I surely wouldn't blame you! I can't drink but I want a blender anyways. 

[KayC]

I don't have anything to make one with if I wanted to!  I'll settle for a good cup of coffee.

Shoveled for an hour this morning, it's a drop in the bucket.  All that work and it didn't even lower my blood sugar!

Hoping they can replace my dish network receiver (if that's what's wrong), I missed having cuddle time with Kodie while we watch tv together! 

[John9]

20 hours ago, tnd said:

John9:  Tried calling about an apartment today, no answer. So, no email replies and nobody answering phones. Nobody besides Wally World wanting to do business?? I can order something from Walmart and have it in 3 days. But I can't live there.  

tnd,

I understand the frustration, and I also do not because I am not in your situation. I have tried contacting people too and have received no responses either. I am not sure if the places are working with fewer people or working from home and adding extra time delays or as we discussed before just don't want to do the job they were hired for. I could speculate and make many guesses but it would only be that a guess. I will continue to hope for the best for you.

[John9]

20 hours ago, tnd said:

John9:   I feel the same way when thinking about my husband. I've actually sat and pictured every detail of his smiling face because I'm afraid my mind will lose the images. Sure, I can say I will never forget him and I won't but, I worry that over time I might forget what he looked like and all the details of his face. Scares me. 

tnd,

I had no pictures of my loving wife hanging in the house when she died because she wouldn't allow them. After the initial shock and basically what you said I was afraid I would start to forget the details and nuances of her beautiful face, I ordered and hung pictures of her so I will see and talk to her all day long. I have said as long as I am alive, baring any mental issues I will LOVE my loving wife and I want to make sure I remember her face too.

[John9]

19 hours ago, Gail 8588 said:

But if there are not, you still may be able to obtain some photographs from others. If you contact his prior employers, they may have photos of him they would send you.

Gail 8588,

This is exactly what happened to me, my loving wife would never let me take her picture without turning away or holding up her hand. After my loving wife died, her work did a memorial for her and there were quite a few pictures I had never seen that were taken at work. My loving wife had the brightest smile and almost all of those pictures showed it and I now have copies of them on my computer.

[John9]

18 hours ago, tnd said:

I have his Drivers License with me but he looks mad in the picture. I don't think I could look at him like that every day.

tnd,

I understand this comment, however my loving wife and I both have what is referred to as RBF (resting bitch face) we always looked angry when relaxed. I may or may not have told this before but I have a picture I took of my loving wife at one of the happier times of us together and there was that face. I know she was happy because she loved Kenny Chesney and it was at one of the concerts we used to go to. Anyway I have this picture in our bedroom above her dresser looking down at me and I look at it every morning and every night when I say good morning and goodnight and that I love her and I miss her. I would take the worst picture of my wife over no picture of my wife.

[John9]

18 hours ago, KayC said:

 

18 hours ago, KayC said:

 

KayC,

Having trouble quoting but, Don't ever ask if you can have more thrown at you

I understand the comment about cuddling with Kodie, one of the many things I miss.

I hope the many issues you are having are simple fixes. When I needed my cable box replaced luckily the recordings were in the cloud so they were available on the new box, I hope that is the case for you too.

What can I say about the snow, I think you have seen far more than your share and it is too early in the season for having to deal with that.

As far as the blood sugar and shoveling, saw similar issues with MIL. And we have discussed it too, it is hard to figure out. Some things you do all of the time don't give the same results at least that is how it was for MIL.

[tnd]

5 hours ago, John9 said:

I am not sure if the places are working with fewer people or working from home and adding extra time delays

John9:  Speaking of places working with fewer people...a major BBQ restaurant chain here just announced they will not be open for indoor dining and only their drivethru because of...wait for it...A STAFFING SHORTAGE!  I keep reading about how there are not enough workers these days. That's ridiculous. I have never in my 57 years of life heard that there aren't enough workers. Are there no people who want to work? 

Finally got ahold of someone today at the cheap dump apartments. They have a 6-8 month waiting list so not taking applications. Now I've got to figure out how I am going to survive on my Disabled Widow Benefits somewhere else. I knew not to get my hopes up. I cry over missing my husband and cry over my living situation. You'd think I'd be all cried out but nope, still fighting tears until I can be alone in my room for the night. Just tired of the stress. I'm not giving up.  

[tnd]

11 hours ago, KayC said:

I missed having cuddle time with Kodie while we watch tv together! 

KayC:  Believe me when I say I understand cuddle time. I feel so bad for my cats being all cooped up in this tiny room every day. I hug and hold them every evening. Sometimes I just skip TV to talk and hold them. They're the only real source of comfort I have around here. They really have been a lifeline for me, as well as everybody on this forum. I think pets are stronger than we know. But all I can do right now is give them as much lovin' as I can and talk to them. I keep telling them that we will be getting a new home and be back in our old bed again. Just don't know when that will be. The cheap place doesn't have any vacancies. I feel like a rotten parent. 

[tnd]

5 hours ago, John9 said:

I ordered and hung pictures of her so I will see and talk to her all day long.

John9:  That was a good idea. I hope to do the same. I think it will help getting to see his smiling face. The pictures I had always made me feel good so hopefully they made it into storage and will be there for me. Something tells me he that he can hear me. 

[Gail 8588]

Tnd, 

Are there any organizations that you can call to ask for help? Counsel on Aging, Elder Services, Habitat for Humanity,  Red Cross, Salvation Army, Legal Services, any Churches you could reach out to.  Ask each of them who else they suggest you contact for assistance for temporary transitional housing and for long term housing.

I would call them all and let them know how desperately you need to find a place to live. I am sure many of them will say they don't have any program to help you, but they may know of something that might help you.  It is better to have 10 or 20 people aware of your desperate need than for you to be working on it alone. 

I know it is exhausting to have to repeat your sad circumstances over and over again to strangers, but you really need their help. 

Wish I could be more support to you, I'll keep praying. 

Gail

 

[SSC]

I used to work with Headstart families and we would consider your situation as being homeless.  Technically you are not living in your own home or even a family member’s home.  I would think this would push your name up the list on any government housing.  Can you get a case worker to help you?  I feel like you are in an emergency situation and should receive help immediately.

[Gail 8588]

1 hour ago, tnd said:

. . . STAFFING SHORTAGE!  I keep reading about how there are not enough workers these days. That's ridiculous. I have never in my 57 years of life heard that there aren't enough workers. Are there no people who want to work? 

Tnd, 

I have been trying to figure this out too.  I wonder if it could be associated with the long haul Covid cases.  Studies have been showing that a third of covid patients still have symptoms 6 months after recovering from covid (testing negative). Long haul symptoms include brain fog, fatigue, shortness of breath, inability to walk/stand for very long, etc.  It may be that these people are unable to return to work.

The US has had 57 million people with Covid, so if a third of those have had long covid, that would be almost 19 million long haul cases. 

Maybe it is the loss of those workers, for 6 months or so after their infection, that has made the shortage of workers. 

Another component of the problem may be that a significant number of elderly people are less likely to apply for jobs because they don't want to risk the exposure to covid. Maybe mothers with young children are reluctant to put their children in daycare and are not applying for jobs that they normally would fill.

Obviously, I don't know what the answer is, but it is clear something has shrunk the US work force.  I have never seen so many businesses reducing their hours of operation due to staffing shortages.  It is common place now to see signs on business doors that they are only open 3 days a week, or that they open late and close early.  Even major franchises, like McDonald's will just have their signs turned off and a note taped to the door that they are closed today.

Strange times. 

Gail

 

[KayC]

18 hours ago, John9 said:

What can I say about the snow, I think you have seen far more than your share and it is too early in the season for having to deal with that.

All of the snow came off my garage/storage building and dumped four feet of snowpack on my path to the firewood, also burying my vehicles, as well as firewood, pathway..  I'm trying to get help, much too heavy for my poor hands!  So far, no luck.

13 hours ago, tnd said:

Just tired of the stress. I'm not giving up.

Good for you!  Is there a senior and disabled office that can help you with a lead?

12 hours ago, Gail 8588 said:

It is better to have 10 or 20 people aware of your desperate need than for you to be working on it alone.

Exactly!  Keep reaching out, call churches, organizations, gov't, etc.

 

[KayC]

I think some of the staffing shortages have been due to people not having childcare since Covid hit, the gov't needs to address this. Another factor has been the gov't providing $ to people that make it more lucrative to stay home than return to work, but that should be up by now.  A lot of people are afraid of getting Covid so have stayed home.

[John9]

14 hours ago, tnd said:

John9:  Speaking of places working with fewer people...a major BBQ restaurant chain here just announced they will not be open for indoor dining and only their drivethru because of...wait for it...A STAFFING SHORTAGE!  I keep reading about how there are not enough workers these days. That's ridiculous. I have never in my 57 years of life heard that there aren't enough workers. Are there no people who want to work? 

Finally got ahold of someone today at the cheap dump apartments. They have a 6-8 month waiting list so not taking applications. Now I've got to figure out how I am going to survive on my Disabled Widow Benefits somewhere else. I knew not to get my hopes up. I cry over missing my husband and cry over my living situation. You'd think I'd be all cried out but nope, still fighting tears until I can be alone in my room for the night. Just tired of the stress. I'm not giving up.  

tnd,

The Restaurant issue is the same around here, I kind of understand the worker shortage in regards to that. I was talking to my loving wife's Aunt and we figured if someone could work with all of the jobs available who would pick the food industry. I have known many people who did work in that type of job and even before this situation the work conditions were terrible and it has only gotten worse. I am just saying I think that is at least part of it. I can't comment about the housing except to say I will still hope that your name comes up on the "lottery" for the better housing. One would think that after all of the bad there might be a sliver of a silver lining out there. I have cried every day since March13, 2021 and like you I never realized the human body could produce so many endless tears. I too am tired of the stress and am not giving up but....

[John9]

12 hours ago, Gail 8588 said:

Maybe mothers with young children are reluctant to put their children in daycare and are not applying for jobs that they normally would fill.

Gail 8588,

I actually did read something along the lines of this and also it was because of remote learning too. The kids are home and someone has to be there with them especially the ones too young to be alone. The older kids may be fine at home alone but not the younger ones. This entire Covid has been a snowball effect scenario, everything messes with everything else.

[tnd]

15 hours ago, Gail 8588 said:

Tnd, 

I have been trying to figure this out too.  I wonder if it could be associated with the long haul Covid cases.  Studies have been showing that a third of covid patients still have symptoms 6 months after recovering from covid (testing negative).

Gail 8588: Thanks for sharing that. I've been wondering if it's because of Covid, too. Also, during lockdowns a lot of people lost their jobs and had to move in with friends/family. In the meantime, rents have skyrocketed everywhere. Even in just the last few months I've seen some apartments charging nearly $100 more! That's a huge increase in just a short time. I imagine many people can no longer afford an apartment so live at home with their parents. Whatever the reason(s), it's shocking to see businesses closing. This is not good!

[tnd]

3 hours ago, KayC said:

Good for you!  Is there a senior and disabled office that can help you with a lead?

KayC:  Per a rep with Adult Protective Services back in August, all they can do is provide a list of cheap apartments. Well, those apartments are no longer exactly cheap. Rents have skyrocketed, it's ridiculous. Now there are long waiting lists but I don't want to take a place and then turn around and move again in a year to a more affordable one. I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm searching. 

Please take care of your hands. I know you are doing the best you can. I am so sorry your surgery was botched. I hope you get help with the chores (snow shoveling, firewood). Our hands are pretty important! My husband use to get hand cramps and I made rice bags for him. I'd heat them in the microwave and then stick them inside a big fuzzy oven mitt for him. They actually stay warm longer than you'd think but of course, you need electricity to warm them up. I used to drop essential oil on the rice to create a nice scent. He loved it and it made our apartment smell good.  

[KayC]

I know, I can't move from my home to something easier even if I wanted to because there's a shortage of rentals and the prices exorbitant.  I hope you're on waiting lists for low income assistance.  It used to be two months wait, now much longer but one never knows when they'll move up the line!  The rice bags you mention I have one for my neck, I might try that!

[tnd]

6 hours ago, KayC said:

I hope you're on waiting lists for low income assistance. 

KayC:  I am on a 12-24 month waiting list with the local Housing Authority Program for low income. They will help put me in a place. My name was 1 of 5,000 drawn in a lottery. Otherwise, the wait is 5-6 years to have help being placed in housing. This is a sad sad reality. Too many homeless people. 

Meanwhile, the place I was eyeing on my own has a 6-8 month waiting list so is not taking applications right now. They have no vacancies. I don't know what I am going to do. Most places want proof that you make at least 3x the amount of the monthly rent. I get $1485/mo on my Disabled Widows Benefits. The place I was eyeing was just $490/month for a 1 bedroom apartment. Most other places around here start at over $700. Even the 1-room studios. I guess I am just going to have to hope that there is a place that doesn't check these things. It makes me want to cry thinking about it. Super stressed...

[tnd]

It's always something...  

So, I've been babysitting Fran's 5 yr old granddaughter every day from 6am-6pm because the little girl's mom and baby brother are sick (but thank god, not with Covid). Needless to say, I am exhausted. My whole body hurts and I'm shaking like crazy. lol  But I guess this is sort of good. It keeps my mind off stuff. And the little girl is pretty well-behaved and a real smartie. She has her own computer tablet and is a real whiz at it. Ha! She knows computers better than I do! 

I don't know how much longer I've got to babysit but that's okay. I guess. I've become very attached to her. Just wish I could be more active and play with her more. I am feeling pretty wiped out here. Fran would like her to just live here. She says the girl's mom is always so exhausted from work that she can't take proper care of the little girl and a baby. The baby's father helps with the baby but not the father of the granddaughter. It's a sad sad situation. This little girl deserves better. At least I can help and contribute in some way by babysitting her. She seems to like me so I hope I am a positive influence. But it IS so dang exhausting. It's the Sarcoidosis. And grief. I cry at nite when I'm alone. Not having my husband around anymore and then not knowing where I am going to live is stressing me out big time. And so the body aches and the crying start. I feel like I am in living in some sort of hell.   

 

"I'm sorry about your husband. She then lowered her head and stuck out her hand and said "Here, let's pray".  -Go figure. This is from a 5 year old. It's more than what I've heard from most adults.  

[John9]

tnd,

You have once again touched on what we discussed before, the people most in need have very little options. I am still hoping that the waiting list opens up for you, maybe catch a break. I knew things were getting bad but not that bad as far as supply and demand and affordability. I know it is hard and stressful but I will keep you in my thoughts. I understand the comment you make about how the places want to make sure you can pay the rent, and as you have mentioned you still have to live.

[John9]

2 minutes ago, tnd said:

"I'm sorry about your husband. She then lowered her head and stuck out her hand and said "Here, let's pray".  -Go figure. This is from a 5 year old. It's more than what I've heard from most adults.  

tnd,

That is sadly the sweetest thing I have heard. And you are right about the adults. If we start teaching the 5 year olds how to respond to grief maybe in the future adults will know how to handle the grief stricken.

[tnd]

13 minutes ago, John9 said:

If we start teaching the 5 year olds how to respond to grief maybe in the future adults will know how to handle the grief stricken.

John9:  I don't know where she learned that but I was so touched that I found myself feeling better. 

[foreverhis]

On 1/2/2022 at 1:45 PM, tnd said:

Good news FINALLY....I HAVE A PHONE!!

Thank goodness!  What a relief for you (and, if I'm honest, it's a relief for me too) to not be dependent on that family for basic communication.  Plus you now have it for emergencies, should the need arise.  It's one more step toward independence.

[Gail 8588]

4 hours ago, tnd said:

"I'm sorry about your husband. She then lowered her head and stuck out her hand and said "Here, let's pray".  -Go figure. This is from a 5 year old. 

Tnd, 

That is so very sweet, of course it lifted your spirits, if just for a little while.  It is exactly this  kind of little thing that we have to see and appreciate to help reset our brains to recognize there is still good in the world. 

Thanks for sharing. 

Gail

 

 

[foreverhis]

14 minutes ago, Gail 8588 said:

Tnd, 

That is so very sweet, of course it lifted your spirits, if just for a little while.  It is exactly this  kind of little thing that we have to see and appreciate to help reset our brains to recognize there is still good in the world. 

Thanks for sharing. 

Gail

 

 

I agree, Gail.  Sometimes it takes the innocence and grace of a child or an animal to remind us.  Our world can seem and be so dark and depressing that we should welcome any bit of light and hope.  Admittedly, it was hard for me to do that for the first 2 years, but I've learned to see what's good more often, wherever it is.

[tnd]

5 hours ago, foreverhis said:

It's one more step toward independence.

foreverhis:  Now if I can just figure out how to keep it connected to Wi Fi....:)  No joke, this is the first cell phone I have ever owned. But now I really do need one. All these months it has been frustrating to not have one and now it is frustrating learning how to use it. lol  But hey, it's better than listening to a land line ring all day from robo-calls. 

[KayC]

21 hours ago, tnd said:

"I'm sorry about your husband. She then lowered her head and stuck out her hand and said "Here, let's pray". 

That is so sweet!  My granddaughter prayed for "all the sick people" (early Covid), she was four at the time, my DIL videotaped it, I wish I was computer savvy enough to have downloaded it but it's somewhere way back on her FB.

[tnd]

3 hours ago, KayC said:

That is so sweet!  My granddaughter prayed for "all the sick people" (early Covid), she was four at the time,

KayC:  Fran's granddaughter is only five but has offered me more than some adults have.

Years back when my brother was deployed to Afghanistan, I called my SIL often and even sent her some of her favorite movie collections that she did not have yet. In other words, despite being long distance, I was supportive of her. Never did thank me but my point is, I was SUPPORTIVE of HER. I knew she was scared, alone and stressed out with a toddler and a baby at the time. But my husband died, I had to get out of my apartment and sick and what did she offer me?? Insults! Not one single "I'm sorry". But I would sure hate to be her because I believe that what comes around goes around. She only hurts herself when she's mean like that. Someday it will catch up to her. I'm not wishing it; I don't have to because I've seen it happen over and over to people. I may be without my husband and poor and no home right now but...I wouldn't want to be HER! 

People like you and I can't stay down even if we tried. lol