Young Widowhood

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Wow CindySue, you get to chase Byron all over the house again! He is such a sweet child. I can only imagine the mischief, but you know, I raised boys. hehe. I still live by the rule "I will never grow up." Thanks for praying. My sweetie just called me, and said that she had another incident of the chest pain a little bit ago, and they gave her more nitro. It helps, but wears down fairly quickly. They may let her come home, but not until I get oxygen in our home. I'll be running around for a bit tomorrow. And typical for the illness and her treatments, she lost the vein that her IV was in. So, they had to put in another. I'll write more later. You take care of Byron, then spoil yourself. You deserve it. luv ya, hugz, Me

[withani]

CindySue...I am so happy to hear Bryon is home safe and sound. You and Bryon are developing such a close bond with your new life I have a feeling this could be a real turning point for you girlfriend... things in general just get better and better for you. You will always have Roger in your heart BIG TIME...there's no doubt about that...but look at all the things you are handling now alone. You are much stronger than you have ever given yourself credit for and GOOD THINGS are coming your way!!!! Love and hugs...CindiSue

[withani]

Mark...I am SO GLAD that you took mine and CindySue's advice and did something for yourself!!! I'm sure you enjoyed being out listening to a band and just basically chillin'. It was WONDERFUL news to hear Mary is having some relief...whatever it takes. Just please promise us you'll take care of yourself too...so many depend on you Mark and you've been there for both CindySue and I on numerous occasions to pick us off the floor and point us in the right direction. You have true friends here whom care about you. Hugs and love...CindiSUe/Withani

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Hey, CindiSue, you won't believe this. They sent her home, illegally. We have a law that is clear about not discharging a patient when the family can't care for them well enough. I'm so exhausted, it's insane. They just pushed her out the door, and said she's my problem. On top of that, no nitro, no oxygen. I'm calling my attorney in the morning when I finally wake up.

I hope you are doing well. We're going through so much, that you are the one picking us up. I can't thank you enough. You are a wonderful friend. I hope you are not feeling too much of the sorrow and unhappy now. It's a stressful time for all of us. Thanks for being by our sides. You are the greatest! ((hugs)) that citified boy, Me

[cindysue]

Mark,..wow I don't know what to say about them lettin Mary go from the hosp...already where are them doctors heads? this must be so stressful for you ..to go through..I hope you can get somewhere with the attorneys on that..I feel so bad for Mary what she must be going through how scared she must feel not knowin one day to the next how she will feel..Me and Byron are doing good he sees his heart doctor the 12th next week and I an scared but I have to be strong for him..please let us know whats going on thier..please give Mary my best and know you and her are in my prayers always..

Love And Hugs,

Cindysue and Byron

[cindysue]

Cindisue, Hey girlfriend hows things going for you? I am sorry I am not on here as much just tryin to recover from everything..I still feel weak and stuff..and Byron is back to normal you know puttin Butter in his hair tryin to slick his hair back...he's been wanting me to hold him alot..he's so sweet always kissing me and stuff..but now my poor baby is suffrin from scabbies.. I never did tell Mark but hopefully he ill read this he is scratchin alot and cries cause its hurts him..hopefully I don't get it..he can't go to school till thats treated good well I am gonna check on him he is cryin and not feelin good today..

Love and Hugs,

Cindysue and Baby Byron

[alwaysmyjennifer]

CindySue, Byron is going to do well with the doctor. I'm going to be praying like crazy. Hey, I'd even hire a sitter for my wife so you have the extra immoral support. What's a bud for? hehe. Are you okay? Just breathe and take each moment as it comes. We have to deal with a lot, but we'll manage. I have to learn how things are done in this country. It's so much different back home. We'd have all the nursing and help before they'd release her from there, but that's back home. I just have to adjust. If she goes back to hospital, I'm leaving her there. Then they have to place her in long term care. I'll write you a little later. luv ya, with lotsa hugs, Me

[withani]

Mark...I can't believe the hospital sent Mary home with no nitro or oxygen!!! I have many negative views on the health system and how they failed with Gary...I could write a book on it which doesn't help you now but as you advised CindySue..JUST BREATHE. I know this is horrible for you..if you don't already meditate maybe this is a good time to start.

I am not drowning in sorrow at the moment partly because I stay busy until the end of day and then just crash. The children are definitely helping me to look towards the positive side of life...how will I ever repay them.... It's a strange feeling but I think I'm on my way out of the storm...I think of Gary all day but it's not the crushing pain anymore...it's more like (for the most part) a very wonderful memory and have grown to accept I'll always miss him.

I am glad that I can help out in anyway...it helps me to help you and CindySue...the two of you mean so much to me and I am eternally greatful to call you my friends.

Get some rest my friend and I'll look forward to talking soon....hugs and love..CindiSue/Withani

[withani]

CindySue...I am so proud of YOU!!! You're taking care of business...you and Bryon are settling into your own little routines together...like washing the butter out of his hair..lol!!! You've gotta get a professional picture taken of the two you girlfriend!!! Baby Bryon and CindySue against the world!!! He will be fine CindySue I truly believe that and he knows that he is loved..the greatest gift of all!

Take care...and do something great for yourself...love and hugs...CindiSue

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Cindisue/withani, somehow, it sounds like you've come to accept this a little. In many ways, now you can feel some peace. One little step at a time, and you'll keep going along the journey.

I have some painful decisions to make ahead. I'm torn with guilt about placing her in long term care, but I have children to raise, and they need me healthy, not dragging on two or three hours of sleep and with high blood pressure. A visiting nurse was here today from the county, and I blew up at her so bad, she left in tears. I really didn't mean to. All I want is some help with my wife, and I'm getting none. Fortunately, my daughter is returning home near the holidays, and will stay about a month. I love her so much. I'm a mush of a guy, aren't I?

I keep praying for ya, and think of you in my insane world. hugz, luvz, Me

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Cindysue, hold on to the slippery little guy and cuddle him all you can. I'm not going to ask what's next with him for mischief. hehehe. Ask his pediatrician about the lotion for those critters. Poor child. He's had enough lately, so has his Mommy. Get lots of rest, well, as much as he lets you.

We're still kicking. I have no more answers, but tons of paperwork. I can't believe the things going through my head. Mostly guilt for decisions I need to make, but also sorrow. She's at least having a fairly good day today - meaning she hurts like mad, but is talking and alert for a few minutes here and there.

always thinking of you with a prayer. hugsNluvz, Me

[withani]

Mark...you're right about little by little I'm slowly accepting what is. I'm sorry to hear about the major decisions that you have to make...talk about the pressure being on!!! I don't know if there is anyway to escape the guilt...it's basically (and excuse my french) but you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't. Unfortunately you're being pulled in every direction...maybe you need to talk objectively to your children and see what the family concenses is??? I'm glad your daughter will be returning for a month...and being mushy is not a weakness but a "good thing"......

Hugs and Love...CindiSue/Withani

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Good morning, CindiSue, to accept is to heal. To heal is to grow. Go pamper yourself.

Just wanted to let you know, she's back in hospital. the doctor kept asking if she had a heart attack. About the rest, my children are a little young to drag into the stress (12 and 17 at home). My 17 year old told me that him and I can't keep this up. Tina says the same. My wife is livid about me doing anything that will take her from this house. First she wanted me to leave, now this. Damned if I do, damned if I don't (I'm Canadian - you want me to translate it into french?). Yes I'm laughing, and thanks, buddy. I needed a laugh. Here's a little thing to toss about. She came home from hospital angry about the nursing home thing, saying she felt good. Now, she's crashed, and the doc asks if she's had a heart attack? Makes me wonder how bad she really is, and how well she's hiding it? I'll tell ya more tonight. Allez. hugz, Me

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Hi, CindySue. How's Byron today? Any butter, olive oil, dish soap or other silliness? He's so cute! Well, shall we say it? He IS two. . . How are you girl? I hope you're resting, at least between those "Byron, what now!" Give yourself a treat. You deserve it.

It's been a long day for me and my wife. One doctor was giving me the impression that he thought she may have had a heart attack. We need to go through more tests to verify it. Another doctor treated her so badly, she wants to sue him for harassment. I was in all black, with a cowboy hat, sunglasses, boots, and chains, so I looked like I just flew in from hades. It made that doc a little nervous, so he was happy to be rid of me. I threatened to send him on an elevator ride, without the elevator. I wasn't arrested. Me and my big mouth. So, she's had a stroke, and now, maybe a heart attack. What next? I need to take the Byron approach, and not ask that question.

Be gentle to you, and cuddle Byron all you can. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Let me know what that doc says, girl. love and hugs, Me

[withani]

Hello Mark...hmmmm heart attack? I can't blame Mary for wanting to stay home...is there anyway to get nursing help inside the home for at least the night shift so you can get some rest??? So many big decisions to be made and we all know you're looking out for Mary's best interest in a very difficult time. Take care of yourself my friend...hugs and love...CindiSue/Withani

[withani]

CindySue...I hope you are getting some rest girlfriend. I want you to know that I'm thinking about you in thoughts and prayers. Love and hugs...CindiSue

[cindysue]

Mrk, Hey I am so sorry to hear about Mary the things she is going through must be really aweful for her..she and you are always in my prayers as well ..Byron is just keepin me running all day..he is havin alot of fun..today he decided on a new approach instead of using butter he decided peanut butter...lol..which is so much worse to get out of hair of course I was involved in a tv program when I decided to look for him again cause he was quiet and he was talkin to himself while rubbing him self down with peanut butter..he had it from him to toe and he go's mmmmm good mama.I go ohhh BYron not again..he seen me comming towards him to take the jar away from him so he throws it and tries to run from me...I caught with peanut butter all over me too..we both hwere a mess..he looked so cute though...I go come on bath time again he got real excited and ran to the bathroom...then after I wiped him down and put a diaper on him he go's in his room and gets baby lotion to put on himself...he go;s I good...I go ok Byron good boy...lol..he is so sweet...well I am off to bed after a long day with him...please give Mary my best and you take it easy and know me and Cindisue will always be here for you..

Love And Hugs,

Cindysue And Baby Byron..

[cindysue]

Mark I meant when I wrote that message boy my spelling sucks sometimes when I write to fast..sorry about that...

[cindysue]

Cindisue, Hey girlfriend, how you doing? I am doing ok except Byron got into peanut butter today he had it all over his face and his whole body and he was smiling when I caught him and go's mmmmm mama good...that little devil tried to run from me when I caught him....I was a mess with peanut butter all over my clothes and hair so when I was done with him I had to take a quick shower in the mean time Byron puts baby lotion on his body he go's I help..I just laughed at him...he is so cute I can't even get mad at him when he smiles like that...he loooks like Roger so much...it really gets to me alot..makes me miss Roger even more...well wish me luck Wed...he has an appointment with his heart doctor...Mark is so sweet to offer to go with me but I could'nt do that to him he has enough to handle I am so glad I have such good friends as you and Mark..Cindisue you have always been such a sweet friend to me you and Mark are like my angels I don't know what I would do without you two..thanks for being my friend I love you guys alot...you and Mark are like my family I feel so close to you...thanks again and I will let you know how Byron's appointment comes out...

Love And Hugs,

Cindysue And Baby Byron

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Cindysue, we're gonna keep prayin for Byron. He's so cute with all his antics. I am sure he'll be fine with the doc. We're here no matter what. Just keep him away from gooey things like jelly before he sees the doctor. Then again, it would be good for a laugh. Spoil yourself today. You're worth it. luvz, hugz, me.

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Cindisue, I'm beginning to think our chances of getting a nurse in here are about as likely as me hitting the lotto. I don't even buy the tickets. My daughter is coming home in about six weeks, and we're all going to see what our next big choice will be. If anyone can talk this woman into better care, it's her step daughter. Do something fun today. It's Columbus Day, so go on a boat ride or something. Find something new (not a Cadillac, silly). Take care. hugz,luvz, Me

[withani]

Mark...I did do something fun today...I worked..lol! I wasn't off work today but that's okay...the little one's sure do have a way of keeping my mind off my problems and onto theirs with the daily bo bo's/hugs/and kisses. I can't wait to see them dress up for Halloween. I've been wondering how I'm going to handle this holiday because it was Gary and mine's favorite...we loved dressing up and going out dancing and I'm really going to miss that this year but I'm fortunate enough to see the little one's smile.

I'm so glad your daughter is coming home soon...I know you need the extra support Mark and you're going it alone trying to make these life decisions...please pamper YOURSELF!!!!

Hope today finds you well...hugs and love...CindiSue/WIthani

[withani]

CindySue...Bryon the human peanut butter sandwich...lol!!! I know it's messy the stuff baby Bryon's gettin' into but ahhhh the memories you're building. You guys are so cool together

Please let me know what the doctor says...I'm sure all will be well my friend. I'm glad that I can be of help in any way...I feel the same way about you and Mark...my personal angels. I don't know what I would do without the two of you...there are so many ups and downs in "the process" that no one can truly understand unless they are going through it or have gone through it and I will be eternally greatful to have know two such WONDERFUL people.

Take care girlfriend...love and hugs...CindiSue

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Cindisue, in some ways, having a few hours of distraction in the day is good for you. You also need to make time to continue to honor Gary, his life, his love, his passing. I'll offer the same things I do for Cindysue. If you need something, just ask. I'd even be willing to visit my daughter in St Louis so you would have a prankster companion for Halloween. But, I'll warn you. I'm terribly mischievous about the holiday. hehehehe.

Today was one of my favorite days, Thanksgiving. I didn't lose my mind, it was Canadian St Turkey Day. We had a lot of fun with our neighbor, who knows my eccentricities. I did eat way too much, though. "plop plop fizz fizz"? My honey is doing okay today, but very weak. I'm looking forward to having my kids all here again, so we can sit and talk about this stuff. This is the best part of having adult children. That, and not having to watch Barney.

Seeing you two are going all mushy on me, I have to say two things. One, I'd be lost in a brokenhearted mess without you two, and two, even as a foster kid with my difficulties in friendships, you two make this so easy for me to care about you and enjoy our friendship. Okay, an extra, you both make my journey so pleasant and fun which all adds up to why I'm so thankful for you.

Give yourself a treat, and have fun with the little ones. hugs and luvz, Mark

[ritarevis]

Hi. I'm new here. I lost my partner on sept. 3 and since then i am completely lost. He had a massive heart attack 3 days before his 44th birthday. I was gone out to buy his birthday present. We kissed when i left and he said "I'll be right here, honey, when you get back". But he wasn't. I didn't get to see him again before he died. The pain and heartbreak is undescriable. I can't do ANYTHING. I don't think 10 minutes ever go by that i think about him. its hard to do anything at all. I thought maybe talking to people who have been through this nightmare might somehow help because no one else could ever imagine or understand how i feel.

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Ritarevis, I am so deeply sorry for you as you face such a loss. Please try to remember that, as you go through the daily issues and pain of grieving, this is a process, and the pain will lessen, and the emotions more tolerable. There are going to be people, all of whom mean well, telling you to "get over it", but this is your journey, not theirs. There is a saying around here, "we grieve as deeply as we love". Healing will take time, so be gentle with yourself. Please feel free to write as much as you'd like. We're here to listen, and to help as much as we can.

My introduction to you is that my daughter was raped and murdered at 21 years old, and my wife on 19 years has an incurable illness that is in the last stage, and may turn fatal at any time.

My thoughts and prayers are with you. May you have enough for today. Mark

[withani]

Hi Mark and thank you for the very thoughtful gesture in the midst of everything you're going through. This Halloween...other than celebrating with the children I am definitely going to lay lowin remembrance of Halloweens past with Gary. I don't know any other way than continuing to honor him...I keep his picture in my room and talk to him on a daily basis. I have so much to share with him.

I'm glad you had a good Canadian Thanksgiving and Mary was able to enjoy some of it.

P.S. - I bet you are a prankster!!!!

Hugs and love....CindiSue/Withani

[tnetae]

I lost my husband on Nov 8 2004, he died of a heart attack at 33. Two weeks later, I had a baby. Life has been to busy to have any time to myself. I also have an eleven year old. I miss him terribly

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Tnetae, I'm sorry that you have lost your husband. To have the joy of a baby while you are grieving is difficult and very painful. Take care of yourself. Try to give yourself time to think about him, and to do special things that you would normally do to feel good about yourself. My thoughts and prayers will be with you and your children. We're here to listen and help. Mark

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Cindisue/withani, sounds like a good plan for you. You've been busy enough lately, that it may be good to have a quiet night. I'm happy to hear that you talk to him still. You should.

Me? pranks? I'm terrible. Sometimes a little over the top, but I've never been arrested for one . . . yet.

Today is a quiet day here. My son was home, so I had time for mail and bills. I also grabbed a much needed nap (I slept most of the day). Tomorrow is more doctors. I am planning one thing just for me. Trey Anastasio is in town next month (phish), and I'm going to see him. We met in college, years ago, and I've sorta followed his career.

Have a good night, and lotsa fun at work tomorrow. hugz, Mark

[withani]

Rita and Tnetae....I am so sorry to hear of your losses...I lost my significant other of the past 11 years suddenly from acute myocarditis. I know what you're going through Rita with having left to purchase a gift and not getting the chance to say goodbye. I've struggled with this the past 10 months and believe me it is a journey. Both of you are in my thoughts and prayers and I hope in some small way ...even if it just is for a moment that you can find peace....God Bless You...Withani

[withani]

Mark...to not talk to Gary would be like asking the sun not to rise...it's a given. He's in my soul and will always be.

I'm glad you had some time with your son today and are planning something cool just for yourself...I hope tommorrow is a good day...hugs and love...Withani/CindiSue

[cindysue]

tnetae..and rita..Wow so many lost thier husbands of a massive heart attack at a young age I lost my husband Aug the 1st 2004 of a massive heart attack also but he was 46..and we also have a little one he is 2 years old..he was 15 monthes old when my husband passed away..my baby also has a heart condition and will require a heart catherzation soon..we also have 2 grown daughters but all I can say is it does'nt feel like its gonna get better but it will slowly..sometimes I wonder how can I raise my 2 year old by myself..but I know he would want me to do the beat I can..I think to myself God and Roger wanted me to have this last precious gift so I would not be lonely..anymore..I know you miss him its hard but he is watchin you and your baby..I kow I can feel my husband all the time watch over our baby..cause I still to this day hear the baby laughin and chatterin away in his crib talkin to his daddy and when I go to his room he will point to the wall and go dada and smile,,and of course I see nothing but he does..so what I am sayin is your husbands are watchin over you and your precious kids..We are all here for you to talk too me nd my two great friends On here Cindisue and Mark..they always have the best advice and they are the smartest people I know..so hang in thier we will be here for you if you wanna talk..

Hugs,

Cindysue

[cindysue]

Cindisue, Hey Girlfriend Well baby Byron is seein his heart doctor tomorrow I am so scared..but I know Roger will be with us watchin over us..I am real concerned Cindisue Byron is 2in a half now and can barely talk and when he does its just one word..he will repeat what I say but its hard for him and sometimes he can't he still can't put sentences together..he runs and when he does he falls down all the time...today he was so cute he looked at his daddy's pic and go's dada and kisses his pic..and I go yeah baby thats your dada he up in heaven now and he will run to the computer cause I have Roger's pic and my background and he looks at it all the time and go;s dada..he loves lookin at him..then he runs in his room and points to the wall again lately and keeps going dada and I am wondering what does that mean I think he is seein his daddy..but anyways..I will let you know how his test come out..wish us luck..I hate seein him go through all that teat all the time..but I know he has too..take care girlfriend..

Love And Hugs,

Cindysue

[cindysue]

Mar, my friend always nice hearin from you..I been thinkin about Mary how is she feelin? I hope she is'nt in too much pain..well tomorrow is the day Byron see's his heart doctor my poor baby I wish I could take his place..I feel scared for him when I even hold him close to me I can feel his little heart beat so hard..and I noticed lately he's been fallen alot lately I hope this wo't be bad news and he is gettin worse..and his little heart is gettin tired I could'nt stand to lose him too..I can't believe he is 2 in a half now Roger would be so proud of him if he could see him now..I am concerned cause he can't run good yet without fallen..he looks so small for his age..I know the doctor told me before that kids with a heart condition don't grow as fast..When Roger was alive it tore him up to see his baby have a heart condition here we were worried about the baby and he ends up passing away from a heart attack..maybe the stress of everything just killed him or his diebetic got out of control..I still wonder why..and always think to myself why did'nt I push him more to see the doctor..sometimes I blame myself..I guess I need to try to go on for Byrons sake but its lonely..least I got the baby and the girls..I am sorry I guess I am a little depressed me and my mom got into it again..funny I am always in trouble with her..will tell you and Cindisue about it tomorrow my fingers are starting to hurt..wish me luck tomorrow give Mary my best..

Love And Hugs,

Cindysue

[cindysue]

Mark I meant..see I told ya I can't spell..lol..

[julianmae]

Never thought I would be a widow at the age of 31.

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Cindysue, you and your mother! hehehe. You sound like me. Sweetie, I wish you could bury yourself into my shoulder and let that stress go. You're too good a friend to not have more support. Byron is in good hands. I'm praying, and I have about five hundred people praying with me for him. Rest your precious heart knowing that God will take care of this beautiful little guy. You rest, and take care of one thing at a time. Call or write when you know what the doc says.

My wife is weak still, and not able to get up and walk about the house much, but she's not having as much chest pain today. I'm concerned that she's still acting like she's given up. It worries me to see her not wanting to try to fight the illness. Thanks for caring so much. You're a treasure.

luv&hugz, Me (It's okay to misspell my name, just don't call me late for dinner. hehehehe. I'm being silly.)

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Julianmae, I'm sorry that you must also face this loss. You are welcome here, and with people who care very much. We'll listen and help you all we can. May peace be yours. Mark

[julianmae]

Mark, Thank you for your comforting words.

[cindysue]

Julianmae, Wow you are really young to be a widow at the age of 31..we are all sorry to hrar that..life is not fair to take someone so young no one knnows when thier time is up..but I hope you can feel better evenually..my husband died a year ago but he was older he was 46 ..died of a massive heart attack..but he gave me one last precious gift before he passed away our son who is only 2 years old..we have 2 grown daughters also..so havin him was a blessing and a shock..but he also has a heart condition and will require surgery soon...but anyway just know your husband is always around you he will always be in your heart..please take care and know we are all here for you..

Hugs,

Cindysue

[cindysue]

Mark, Ohhhh good I spelled it right this time..well baby Byron went to his heart doctor today and his pulse is getting weaker.. and his echogram shows a worsing the doctor wanted to wait till he was a little older then 2 years old but..I don't think thats gonn happen..he is gonna talk to another doctor to decide what to do..they wanna open up his valve more...but you know when I was in the doctors office I could feel my husband with me watch his baby go through this I felt him right thier with me..now you probably think I am crazy but I just felt him..boy do I wish he was here with me now..I think I cried all day I hate facing this all by myself..I feel so alone.. Byron kept cryin for his dada when he was have his heart echogram..and he never done that before..the doctor will call me either tomorrow or Friday and let me know what they find...pray it is'nt too bad..I am so scared of losing my baby like I did my husnband..don't think I could take another loss agaon.. thanks my sweet friend for listening to me..

Love And Hugs,

Cindysue

[cindysue]

Withani(Cindisue) well Byron had his test today buit he kept cryin for his dada which he never done before..but I felt Roger thier right with me..but the heart doctor says that his pulse is weaker and he may have to have the surgery sooner..his ecogram they want another doctor to check it too I know its a matter of time..and they have talked to me about surgery before but I am gettin more nervous and scared.I am afraid of losing my baby like I did Roger...Byron is so tired after all the testing..they weighed him and measured him ..he is only 28 pounds and 30 inches tall and thats pretty little for 2 in a half...but I know with a heart condition he won't get as tall and big..it was so sressful today..going to the doctors and not knowing what they will find out..I know Roger was thier..he was watchin over his baby..well I am gonna lay down..and try to deal with my mom again soon as I can I'll let you know whats up with her..she is always mad at me for somethin,,,well I will go now and check on Byron take care girlfriend..

Love and Hugs,

Cindysue.

[withani]

CindySue....I have no doubt in my minf that Roger was at the doctors with you and hope you get enough rest and are able to talk to Roger about it. Your instincts will let you know what he thinks about it. Don't let your mother bring you down girlfriend!!! Love and hugs...CindiSue

[withani]

julianmae...I'm so sorry to hear of your loss...I lost my significant other of 11 years to acute myocarditis 10 mos. ago and he had just turned 50 and I felt that was way too young. Hope you find some peace here...everyone is very nice and supportive of each other...welcome...CindiSue/Withani

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Julianmae, this is our gang. These are the best friends anyone could ever have. I'm not widowed yet, but waiting for that dismal day. My wife has dystrophy, final stage. I have to admit, without these lovely ladies, I'd be in the loonie bin by now. We all look at ourselves and say, this is too young, but any age seems too young now. My wife is 37. I'm sorry for what has happened in your life. Nothing I can say will make sense of this for you, but I'm here to listen, anytime. May peace be yours. Mark

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Cindysue, no matter what, no matter when, or how much it will take, we'll be with you every step of the way. Take one moment at a time. Give Byron all the love your heart has. He's the sweetest little guy. Don't let your mother get to you. She will keep this going as long as you let her. When you reach the point of no longer letting her get to you, she'll realize you're no fun to play with, and leave you alone. Trust me on that. Mine wouldn't talk to me, but now that I have found my daughters, she talks to me like a human. If that makes any sense, I'll buy you dinner. Don't be afraid. We're prayin for ya. Rest, and take care of things at home. Make sure you take care of you, doing the things you must. luv&hugz, Me

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Cindisue/withani, hope the day went well for you. Now, have a little fun and pamper yourself. We have good things today. The doctor actually wrote an order for skilled nursing. This is big. Maybe I can sleep? lol. Have a good night. hugz,luvz, moi

[aprilsmom]

Thought I'd get off this flippin' emotional rollercoaster for a minute to say hi! Haven't posted lately because I hate to bum everybody out. Hurray Mark on the NURSE- how awesome of the doc to do that. Cindy-I'm sending you positive vibes for the upcoming heart surgery; gosh, they can do miraculous things these days, we'll pray that the doc's hands are HIS hands when the time comes. Cindi-so many others have joined you that share losing your spouses at such YOUNG ages. i talked to my son-in-law (28) that lost April (26) in the accident 11 mos. ago. I should be KICKED for what I asked him. It was a really bad day for me and I called him and asked, "Bobby, do you miss her"? I really didn't mean to be mean!! He said, "Everyday Renee Everyday" I just wanted to hear HIM say it...it's like someone else besides me verifing that she actually lived! Does anyone else here also have this secret thought that, gee, if I do everything right, she'll (he'll) come back? I tried to remember what my life was like a year ago and I CAN'T REMEMBER - I know I had a good life - I know I am blessed. I don't have the right to feel cheated but darn it, I do. To all the newcomers, please except my condolenses, I came to this site to find out how not to lose my son-in-law as well as my daughter - it would just hurt too too much. Take Care, Renee

[withani]

Mark...woohoo!!!! I'm so happy to hear you're getting a skilled nurse...that will be awesome!!!! Today was alright...my daughter and peanut are staying with me right now because she has a transportation problem...just as well because if I'd had my drothers I'd sleep through this month.....

Hugs and love...CindiSue/WIthani