I Believe in God...

[write365]

Just got back from a large family party. My cousin--who is more like my big brother--is back from Iraq on leave. There was a big gathering at my great-aunt/godmother's house, who is one of my late uncle's sisters. But there's a problem.

They want to have a party in august like we used to do every year for Leo's birthday. Cake and everything. They seem to think that we should carry on in this sense as if he never left us. Don't they understand? He's gone. He left us here, and how are we supposed to let go if we have a birthday party for someone who is never coming home? How can we cut a cake without Leo having us stand in a circle, holding hands, to bless the meal? If we do this, how will we let go?

ashley

[tinasdad]

Ashley, the whole journey through grief is painful, and your family may need this time together without his presence to gradually ease into the next step of the grief process. Each person in your family is grieving on a different schedule, and they all have different needs concerning this event. By sharing this time, your family can share the step of beginning to rebuild your new hopes and dreams without the one you love there to brighten your day with a smile and a laugh. It's perfectly okay for you to be upset about this, and it's perfectly okay for another member of your family to need this time to begin to rebuild their new reality within the family without the one you love. I hope my rambling has made a little sense without upsetting you.

I'll be in prayer for you concerning this; may God's richest blessings and comfort be yours through this time. Mark

[write365]

Yes, I understood you, and I know what you mean. I didn't think of it that way. But the problem is...I don't want to go, and i'd have to because my grandmother lives with us and she, aside from being LEo's sister, is the matriarch of the family. I understand a family get-together--but I don't want to go to Leo's grave with my family. I wish I had my driver's liscense (The cemetary where most of my family is buried is 36 miles away) so I could go there and cry and grieve in private. I don't want my mom there. I want to sit between my grandfather and my uncle and cry alone. I don't want a family gathering where we go to the grave then come back to cut the cake. Is that so wrong?

To help you understand...To those of you who have read "Tuesdays with Morrie" that's kind of what Leo was like. i don't think he ever said aloud that he was dying, but he got his affairs in order long before he was too far gone to do so. he planned his funeral, and distributed his belongings. He gave me his computer. I hope you've all been able to understand MY rambling.

Ashley

[lauraanne]

Hi,

My brother died suddenly in Feb, he was in his forties, it's been 4 months and while I believe in God and have felt his comfort and presence, I have still not been able to accept this. I cry every day at some point and I can't focus very well on things. I lose my concentration easily. Anyway, I am going on a mini vacation for two days and nights with some of the family who is left and we are going to be in the same villa together. We thought it would do us some good but there is already a hint of problems having to do with sleeping arrangements. Let's just say that one member and possibly two members don't believe in God and we are ALL stressed out. I am starting to wonder if this is going to be the vacation from hell! Any prayers would be appreciated...safety, God to come into lives who need him, wisdom, for everyone to heal some instead of fuss...etc...

I am praying for everyone on this forum and website.

Thank you

Laura

[tinasdad]

Yes, I understand you. My grandfather was like a father to me, and his death pushed me to move from Canada to the States, leave my fiance, and spend six months on the road in a tractor trailer. I think you should say something about your wish to go and be alone to grieve in this way. Your family will understand and respect it and at least one person will give in and take you, eh.

May the peace beyond your undestanding fill your heart, and may God's Spirit comfort you. Just take your time in this grief, and remember, only you can walk the road of grief, and only you can choose how and when to take each step.

I'm praying for you. Mark

[write365]

Mark--and everyone--thanks for the prayers and support.

Lauranne: A vacation is probably the best thing for you right now. After my uncle died mom and grandma and I went to NEw Glarus Wisconsin for spring break. It was wonderful...but it would have been better if we hadn't been stuck in a 20X20 room with my cynical, condescending grandmother and her oxygen machine. I wouldn't worry too much about the sleeping arrangements. don't sweat the small stuff. when we were in New Glarus, we took grandma's portable oxygen compressor. the "Portable" compressor weighed about thirty pounds and was easily the loudest compressor I've ever heard. It was horrible. I didn't sleep the whole first night--until we locked the d*** thing in the bathroom and threaded the cord under the door! Where are you going on vacation? Have fun..or as least try!

ashley

[lauraanne]

ashley~

Thank you. You made me laugh and I need to! We are going to Jekyll Island, GA. Tried to get a beach view but I guess we can just walk down there and look if we need to. I'm just hoping it will help but I know that this ache in my heart isn't going to go away just because we go to the beach. However looking at one of God's most beautiful creations and smelling that healing salt air, I am hoping for some spiritual healing for all of us!! (I'll probably cry and everyone will feel like poor Laura she can't get it together! I hate that. I know what you mean about crying alone but if I have to cry I don't want to hold it in just because of what somebody will think! especially my family who SHOULD understand me. This is my brother I am crying for and he is worth crying in front of the whole world if need be.) Don't get me wrong, I try not to cry but I still have waves of grief come over me sometimes that are strong.

Thank you so much. I pray for God to give all of us strength, protection, wisdom, and comfort on our same but different journeys. In Jesus Christ's name. Amen

[tinasdad]

Lauraanne, he's your brother, and you're going to be flooded with emotions about this. I'm so sorry about his passing from this life and I will be in prayer for your family. In many situations in my ministry, I have found people entering into faith after the death of a loved one. This is especially true if that person was close. As for the crying, go ahead. What's the worst they can think? That you love your brother very much? This is a good thing. I commend you for it. If you look back through some of my posts, you'll find a list of steps of grief that are typical of how we all manage loss.

Ashley, I know about the O2 machines. When my wife was in hospital last year for a month, I was in a hotel, and the people in the next room from me for two of those weeks had a buzz saw O2 maker. I swear it also made ice - crash! I also think it ran on diesel fuel. lol. I remember praying the thanksgiving when they checked out. Amen! Although it was probably just as bad for them listening to my guitar all night.

In our home, it was a long hard night. My wife had a tough time with her dystrophy, so I stayed up all night caring for her. Sorry if I'm babbling, it's just the exhaustion. Now I hope to catch a nap, if she can do the same. I'm worried about her, because she's pretty messed up with it today. Please pray the pain lightens up a little.

More later, and prayrz for you all, Mark

[write365]

Lauranne..don't worry about the crying.

I have a disease called Primary Immune deficiency. My immune system is not as strong as that of normal peoplel, and therefore I was sick most of my childhood. I've been more of doctors, hospitals, and death in the past fifteen years as some people see in their lifetime. I used to receive gammaglobulin transfusions when I was five. This kept me out of school for most of the year. i.e: the first time that I finished a school year was eight grade. I am now a sophomore, and because of pain in my hip they're testing me for arthritis and cancer monday .despite these facts, I'm really smart because I didn't have much to do when I was sick but read, read, read, and watch Discovery channel. I am now a published author--okay, it was an international magazine, nothing big, but still! But most of my extendid family--father included, since my parents are divorced--think that I'm immature (i'm more mature than most of them!), stupid (see above), flaky (wouldn't I have had a breakdown long ago?), and selfish (no comment!). And you know what, when my uncle died I barely cried. I cried during his funeral mass, and that's it. I had a meltdown ( a mild, chcolate-in-one-hand-tissue-in-the-other).

If you've understood my rambling, the point is: don't be "strong" because of what you're afraid they'll think of you. if you cry, it may open up the way for everyone else. maybe they need to cry and grieve as much as you do, and it may start the healing for the family as a whole. but never forget the power of a good book, a box of kleenex, and chocolate!

ashley

[kagansmommy]

Lauranne...The only person you need to worry about is you. And if you need to cry then do it. It doesn't matter who is watching or who might see. I lost my Dad in March 2004...my 18 month old son Kagan in January 2005...and my Uncle in April 2005. So needless to say I cry all the time. We went out last weekend to a place that we had taken Kagan last summer and all I could think about was the last time we took him there and how much fun we had. And there was my Mom and her new husband dancing together and I totally lost it. I was in such bad shape I couldn't even get up to leave for almost 30 minutes. But most of the people there knew what was going on and I got a lot of hug's before I left that really helped me. So you do what you need to do for you and no one else. You grieve the way you need to so you can get thru this. I tried pleasing so many people that said I should "be over it by now." How do you get over losing a loved one in such a short time? You don't~!!! I loved my baby with everything I had in me so I grieve for him the same way. And the same goes for my Dad. Somehow the little things in life just don't matter anymore. So don't fret over sleeping arrangements...just enjoy being alive. All I wanted to do when Kagan passed away was crawl into a hole and die. But now I realize how much that would hurt him and that I need to live for him now. When I am happy I know he is watching over me with that big beautiful smile on his face. But he is with my Dad now and there is no more pain for either of them and I can't be sad about that. Kagan can walk and run and play now. Things he would never have been able to do in his life on earth. I don't know what happened with your Brother but I know it has to be tearing you apart inside. So cry, scream, or break something if it makes you feel better. It's all about you now and no one else.

Take care and my prayers are with you all.

Christy

"MOMMY LOVES YOU KAGAN"

[tinasdad]

Ashley, you are so wise. Wise way beyond your years. The only flaky I would see in you would be if you had cereal from Tony the Tiger. I'm praying for you with the medical part, so let us all know how you do with it, eh.

Father, while Ashley is being tested for these illnesses, we pray that first, You would grant that she not have a serious illness, that if by some reason You choose for her to endure an illness, You would give her a miraculous healing to show Your power and glory to her family and the many people around her. May the outcome be to glorify You.

Take care of yourself, and I'll continue to pray. Mark

[write365]

Thanks (*blushes*)

Lauranne, someting I should have added was that our society has a twisted view of grieving. They expect us to go back to work/school/life after the funeral/wake/visitation and function. unfortunately, the mind and body don't work that way. There's still certain e-mails, letters, and books that i can't read without crying. if he died in February, then you're not done greiving, and you never will be. none of us will.

ashley

[tinasdad]

Christy, in many ways, you have a strong handle on your situation. You know where your Dad and Kagan are, and that they are happier in Heaven than so ill here on earth. We are only here a few short years, then we can share that happiness of no pain, no sorrow, and no more tears. Eric Clapton is right in saying there are no tears in Heaven, because it comes from the Bible [i love playing that song, too]. Take each step with prayer and care.

Ashley, my grandfather pretty much raised me, and I still have spells of grief for him: he died in 1983. I miss him more than I can ever say. You are right that we don't finish grieving, because in some ways, it's never over. The main steps we take to accept the death are there and real, but we always feel the loss. Blame it on the human condition.

Lauraanne, you will be in my prayers today. This is your journey through grief, and you call the shots. No one can tell you how to grieve, because they are not you. Just take it slow, and follow the steps of grieving. It's a slow process, and painful, but you will be far better to forge ahead than to turn and hide from it. You can't go around it, only through it.

We hope for my wife to have a little less pain today. We have the AC in better repair, and even my cat is enjoying the cold. lol. Still a lot of pain, but it's better for her to have the cold than too much heat. This disease is going to drive me crazy [don't say it, Christy, I already know - lol]. Still, we wait for the FDA to decide if she can have her treatment, and they are so s l o w. I just hope I'm not a great-grandfather by then.

Everyone, have a beautiful day, and stay cool. Prayin for all, Mark

[tinasdad]

I just talked to Nikki, and her Mom is not doing well. She has been told that her Mom is now in her last days. Their family needs our prayer for comfort and the release from the stress. This will be very trying and difficult for them all. Thanks for the prayers.

[write365]

Just got my bone scan done. Idon't have the results yet, just a bruise on my arm from the injection and the info that my bodily fluids may glow later, also from the injection, lol. I'll let you know when they find more.

[tinasdad]

Thanks for the report, Ashley. I'm going to pray until we here the results. And I'm praying for the best results, because He is the great Physician.

So you have an introduction, our friend Nikki has been with us for most of this year, and her Mom has ALS. Her Mom is near to the end of her journey here, so the family needs a lot of prayer. I'll keep everyone up to date.

[lauraa]

Mark,

Please let Nikki know from me that I have her and her dear mom and brothers in my heart and prayers. I know angels are all around them, protecting, comforting and guiding them thru this time. Even though her mom can not respond with words she is able to hear and know what they are saying so they all need to tell her how much they all love her and /hug/kiss her as much as possible.....touch her and she will "pass" with so much love into the most glorious place imaginable...Just think how she will feel having her earthly family are all with her and family waiting on the "otherside" at the same time. I am in deep prayer for them all.

[lauraanne]

Wow. I am back from our beach trip and just want to thank you guys for the support. It gave me much comfort to sit and read your words when I got home. One person that I was concerned about didn't come which took care of the sleeping arrangement problem. I am very worn out though because we over excercised! I was standing out there in the water with my son because the waves were so high and I didn't feel comfortable and I jumped a few waves and it was easy and I dove through one and that felt cool on my shoulders and it was nice and this went on and then a wave broke on me in the wrong place and crash, I found my face on the bottom of the ocean floor! So that was enough swimming for me! We walked a lot and the only time I cryed was when I stepped outside the back door to dump the bacon grease and walked right into a spider web!~ The web wrapped around my whole head and when I thought I had gotten it off and wiped my face with a paper towel and a spider came off on the paper towel...well that's when I freaked out and cryed! I felt like there might be more in my hair or something! My family thought I was overreacting I could tell. I was fine after I brushed my hair and changed my shirt!! (I guess you can tell that I am maybe a bit clumsy!! ha ha) Luckily I didn't have time to morn, but I brought his picture with me and looked at it when I felt the need.

Ashley,

Thank you for your support and for your advice. I think you are VERY mature. I think you express yourself very well, which speaks to your "writer" ability all by itself. I just homeschooled my 12 year old last year and so I know firsthand the reaction you get from MANY people who don't understand about that style of learning. You have been through a lot! And it is hard when you are going through something that others aren't. My child has had food allergies all of his life and stuggles with having a "weakness" (he being a boy and all is very concerned with being strong), being different...he is the only child we know who can't eat out in a restaurant, making friends is hard for him because I can't just let him go to someones house unless we have enough conversations that I know they understand and if they invite me too for the first time, (which usually doesn't happen)so that I can make sure it is a safe environment. Why I am telling you this is that I want you to know that I KNOW that you are strong not flaky!! You are the one enduring the procedures and the pain...no one else.

Thank you again for your good friendship!

Mark,

It is very hard for me to type your name because that is the name of my brother who I miss very much. Thank you for your prayers and support. I have had a strong faith for a while, but my sister doesn't have the same although she believes there is a good higher power, she just has trouble believing ALL of the bible. I think that maybe losing our brother might have helped her some in that area, but I am not sure. Her son is needing God so much and a supportive man in his life. I gave him a book that I just read that I can't praise enough!!! It is called Wild at Heart. I am hoping that he will read it but I am starting to doubt that he will. I prayed for God to take away your wife's pain. I am sorry. It must be very hard for you to only be able to do so much for her! I kind of feel that way with my nephew, in a different way of course, but it is still a helpless feeling at times. About Nikki, when you say ALS do you mean Antiphospholipid Syndrome? Thank you for your supportive words.

Christy,

Thank you for sharing that with me. I too wanted to lay down and die. The reality was just too much for me and at times still is. I need my brother very much to talk to. He was so easy to talk to and smarter than me. I am so sorry about your losses. Hopefully we will emerge on the other side of this journey stronger and wiser and ...better? I don't know. I said it but I don't feel it. Sorry I think I am pooping out here. You are in my prayers.

Laura (anne)

[write365]

Mark,

Please let Nikki know from me that I have her and her dear mom and brothers in my heart and prayers. I know angels are all around them, protecting, comforting and guiding them thru this time. Even though her mom can not respond with words she is able to hear and know what they are saying so they all need to tell her how much they all love her and /hug/kiss her as much as possible.....touch her and she will "pass" with so much love into the most glorious place imaginable...Just think how she will feel having her earthly family are all with her and family waiting on the "otherside" at the same time. I am in deep prayer for them all.

As do I. ALS (that's what it is, isn't it???) is a terrible disease. I'm praying for each and every one of you.

[tinasdad]

Nikki's Mom was diagnosed with Amiotrophic Lateral Sclerosis. In our society it's nicknamed Lou Gerhrig's Disease. Thank you all so much for praying. Nikki is very tired from caring for her Mom, and weak from the pain that she's losing her. Her Mom is a dear lady and strong believer, but even though she's a Christian, losing her here hurts.

Lauraanne, I'll let you have the freedom of calling me anything you wish, politely of course. lol. That's a great book for dealing with a slightly rebellious spirit. I'll include your family in my prayer list. I've found that a time of grief can ease a person's heart into thinking of God and let them build upon their faith, or restore a broken relationship with God.

Ashley, I will always be in prayer for you. I'm praying for a blessing for you in those test results.

Laura, I've sent the message on, and you should have an email with her new addy. Thanks for all you have done for her.

Well, we have to continue at home, and my wife is having a rough day with a lot of pain. We are getting more of those since the last time she was in hospital. Thanks for praying for her. We appreciate the prayers so much, and they help on these difficult days.

I'll scribble more news later, so for now, everyone take care, and try to enjoy the day. May His peace and comfort fill your hearts. Mark

[lauraanne]

Mark,

It is as if you read my mind..I almost asked if you had a nickname but then I didn't. I think it will be good for me to type the name Mark...it is a good name. My brother was a good man. I think it will help me heal. (If it doesn't, you will know when I call you something else!!) I don't know Nikki but I just prayed for God to give her the strength she needs to deal with this. As a matter of fact I want to include a piece of Psalm 31 for you to pass to her if you think it is alright. It was in an email earlier today and I think it may be fitting?

Psalm 31:24

Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord.

I just emailed that to my mom this morning,... as we are all courageous we can always use a little heart strengthening can't we?

I think that the man who wrote the book Wild at Heart, speaks from his heart and I bought it because I grew up without a dad and I am raising a son. A tween son who acts like a teen already at that! I need all of the insight into a man\'s soul that I can get. I thought that either it would be so boring I couldn\'t even read two pages or maybe I could get through it but I couldn't put it down. I liked that the author talks about how Jesus was not just a loving healer but a fighter and then he tells what he fought for. And how he points out that most people picture Jesus being so sweet and loving with the children all around and how he is rarely dipicted as a fighter which most men have a need to have something to fight for and it is God given.

Anyway didn't mean to get into a "book review", I just needed to share I guess.

Thank you,

Did you say in an earlier post that there was a chance of help for your wife if it can get approved? If so is it for pain relief or a cure? She is still in my prayers.

Laura

[tinasdad]

Lauraanne, as a professional musician, I have been called a few bizarre things, so I'm okay with whatever. Just be comfortable with yourself here. My wife and I have a son at that age, and we are blessed with a sweet spirited Christian. He's quite a boy. It's so difficult to raise a child these days, when they are bombarded with everything they don't need and made to think they can't live without it. Consider the lilies, they don't sow, or work, but they are so glorious! If children can learn things like that, they will learn faith and God's goodness to us.

My wife has a dystrophy, and while a treatment is somewhat available, the FDA has to approve her for it because she already had it once and it's a high risk treatment.

If you would like, feel free to send an email and I'd be happy to talk about the 'tween' things. My wife and I even home school, which is a riot at this age. lol.

Take care, and may His blessings fill you with peace and joy to the fullest. Mark

[matthew2237smom]

Good evening all,

Hope you guys are doing ok. I hope if there is anything I can do for any of you, you guys would just ask. Even a gentle prayer, I would be happy to do... But to be honest just reading over the board i have already been saying prayers for you guys...

Well, talk with you guys soon

Michelle

[write365]

Bone scan results: They say it's normal, it must be a sprain. Well, I've have this "sprain" for over two months. We're going to see if we can get and appointment with a orthpaedist.

ashley

[lauraa]

Michelle,

Thank you for your prayers as I can always use them. I will pray for you, too! As I do with everyone here. Thanks.

[tinasdad]

Thanks for the report Ashley, that's an answer to a lot of prayer. Now to repair the damage. Take it easy on that ankle. We'll pray for the orhopedics now.

[biadmin]

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[tinasdad]

Here's a short message from Nikki, mom's still not doing well. She's sleeping now but... the nights are getting rougher. I know God is in control, it just hurts a lot right now. One day the sun will shine again.

Thank you all for praying for her and her family. It's stressful for them, but they are adjusting with time.

[tinasdad]

Father, we ask Your blessing on our celebration of this nation's birth this weekend. We also ask that You shower comfort on our friends who are hurting with sorrow: Christy with the special days ahead, Laura caring for her beautiful children, Nikki and her family who suffer so much, Kitty having to face a battle and her losses, Lauraanne and her son enduring their loss, Ashley suffering in her body and her heart, and Michelle's heart feeling her loss too. Let Your Spirit and angels minister to them all, and may they see Your grace through it all.

Everyone, may you enjoy the holiday. Have fun celebrating, and please don't get hurt.

We have an issue for prayer, if you would join us in it. Our oldest son is showing signs of my neuro illness, and if he's diagnosed, his military chaplaincy will be gone. That will devastate him. I'd rather that he not be in military, but it's God's will, not Dad's. My wife has had a few bad nights with seizures, but her doctor doesn't want me to take her to hospital until they worsen. I'm not one for sitting and watching my wife suffer, and I want this to be better, even it means the risk of the Ketamine. Please pray with us on that. Ketamine is very risky, and could cause a stroke, but it can ease the pain if successful. She is willing to risk dying to be free from the pain, and I will support her in any decision she makes. If you want to know more about it, feel free to write me. Laura, I hope I answered all your questions about it.

Take care everyone, and know that I am praying for each of you. Mark

[lauraanne]

Mark,

Thank you for your prayers. I feel like I need all that I can get and please know that I have prayed for you and your son's and wife. I hope that God will show us all the way that we need to go. I know the saying that God never lets us have more than we can handle but it sure doesn't seem like it at times does it? I have one too many problems going on in my life right now,(nothing compared to your wife's health), and feel very overwhelmed. Some people would just handle these problems so fast but we are all different and I guess it is just what I have to go through to grow, problem is I feel like I am failing not growing. I am praying for everyone on this board and will write when I am not so down.

Love to all,

Laura (Anne)

[tinasdad]

Father, it is Your will for Your children to grow. When Jesus told the parable of the sower, He said some fell on good ground and grew, and yielded fruit. This is Your will for the believer, and we ask You help Lauraanne at this time to overcome the obstacles in her life that are before her. Give her wisdom and strength to know how to deal with her circumstances and to overcome and correct anything before her. Let her do everything to Your honor and glory, and we thank You for helping her now.

Lauraanne, be patient, and take each item in your present one by one. You are you, and you have a style all your own. Its unique and nobody can take it from you. So you move through a situation differently. You are using wisdom so you don't jump into something.

I'll keep you in prayer. Let us know how you're doing. Mark

[tinasdad]

Thank you for praying for my family as we go through the day to day issues. We are thankful that my wife is having better control of her blood pressure in recent days. She does continue difficulties with her legs, which is part of the last stage of the dystrophy. There has still been no decision per the second treatment, and this may be from God. We will continue to search options for her treatment.

At this time of year, people are on holiday, and otherwise occupied. We pray for your safety and happiness throughout the summer. I will keep you posted as we fight to keep my love with me.

[lauraa]

Hello Everyone,

It's been a week! Sorry to not write but my computer was down again and because it was a holiday weekend we couldn't get the help to fix it. July 1st (last friday) my daughter and I were in a car accident and my truck was totalled? (I think)...still waiting to hear from the adjuster. The most important thing is that we are both fine and not injured...it was extremely emotional for my daughter as she was hysterical...we were wedged in the middle of the incident and a huge trash truck plowed into the rear of me and pushed us into the small compact car in front of us...the cars in front of us came to an abrupt stop as a mother duck and her babies were crossing the road..We are extremely lucky to not be injured as the trucks right front tire was in the back of my Ford Explorer(55 mph)....it was very traumatic especially after the year we have had. Now, I am left with searching for another vehicle....my favorite thing to do....the salemen can see me coming. Oh boy, do I miss my husband! It is so difficult raising 3 teenagers on my own. I can see the lonliness on their faces without them saying a word....I cry! Other than that I am just preparing to have a surgery on the 21st...I think it should be a straight forward operation and the dr. said should take about an hour or so... my request to him was make it the first one of the day, go light on the drugs and send me home early. Sounds easy, right? I have found out "nothing" works out according to our plan....so with each day I hope for the best. You all have been in my thoughts and prayers and I hope you all know that. God bless!

[kagansmommy]

Hello all~!! I haven't written in a while but I have been reading everyone's post here. I want you all to know that I am praying for everyone here and the trial's you are dealing with at this time.

I am asking for everyones prayer's for tomorrow the 7th. It would have been my baby boy's second birthday. I am having a real hard time dealing with it. I have already started having panic attack's. We built him a frog pond and memorial garden for his b-day. Last night we sat out there listening to the frog's and it was so peaceful. We plan to spend time at Kagan's grave tomorrow and I hope to find the same peace there.

Thank you to everyone and my prayers are wit hyou all.

Christy

"Happy Birthday Kagan...Mommy loves you~!!"

[tinasdad]

Laura, I'm happy to hear you are not injured. I'm terrified for you daughter. Give her a lot of the cuddle time. If it would help you any, I would be willing to help you in the process of buying another vehicle. I'm willing to give you a bit of my time so you can have one less worry. I'm so sorry this had to happen, especially at this time in your life.

Christy, hold on to that unchanging hand of the Lord, and you have that offer girl. If you get in over your head, just punch and yell. I'm here all day.

Father, You told us to ask, and we would receive. We ask of You now to comfort Laura, fill her with peace, and grant peace upon her daughter as well. Help them to find the right vehicle for their needs and the right people to deal with. We ask for peace and healing for Christy, that You would heal this broken heart, and mend her soul. Make this day for them be special, yet able to pass without the pain that she doesn't need now. Fill her and Peter with Your perfect peace. Tonight Lord, comfort Nikki and her family. Surround her with Your angels and send them to minister to her and those she loves so much. Give peace to all there as only You can do, and we will be thankful to You for Your gracious gifts of mercy.

Take care everyone. As the river runs to the sea, so does the peace of God to your hearts. Mark

[lauraa]

Hi Mark and Everyone,

Thanks for your prayer. It always seems like something major is happening to our family the last 4 years. Sometimes, I feel unphased by things as nothing would surprise me anymore...Life is hard...to many questions of "why". I just take one day at a time. Sleep is a priority for me to try and stay on track in order to get thru a new day. People need a crash course out there for how to deal with death and how to treat friends or family who have lost a love one. It is just to weird. It has been 14 months now for me and there is just a cold silence that goes on. It is upsetting for me to think that people have forgotten when I live a personal hell each and everyday. People think you only need assistance at the funeral and then after that your o.k. Either that or they are just plain dumb, or they don't know what to say...which I personally have never bought. It really hurts my feelings because I feel they think I don't grieve anymore or feel anything. Sooooooo, I stay alone alot. That's o.k. as I prefer it that way. I guess I'm trying to say it is lonely out there and I don't like alot of what I see. I need a miracle to come over me in order to love this life again...is that possible? I don't know?

Hope you all are doing good today. Think about you all alot and your in my prayers.

[tinasdad]

Father, thank You for the comfort You will send to Christy today. We ask that You let this be a day of celebrating the life You let them share, even for a moment. We thank You that their sweet baby has touched us all in so many ways, as she shares her time with us and who he is in many tender stories. While they share their time together in this painful and special day, send Your angels to them to comfort and protect. Give them extra strength and peace for the day.

We thank You Lord, for those true friends who stay by our sides through the hardest of times. You give them to us for our comfort and strength. We ask You strengthen Laura and her friends to remain close and be aware and gentle to her needs.

Give Nikki the courage and strength she needs to hold up through this painful time of grief. Let her have Your peace and comfort through every moment. Keep her close to Your Spirit and protect her from the enemy's devices against her. Fill her mind with thoughts of Your love, and give her all she needs for this day.

Give Kitty the grace and strength to continue through the difficulties of the day, and let her feel Your Spirit near to her heart. Keep those who would be against her far from her through this day, and let her mind be filled with You.

May God give you all enough for the day.

[lauraa]

Christy,

I want to wish a very Happy Birthday to your "Sweet Little Kegan"...Celebrate his day as he is with you all. And very happy! I am sure he is watching you with 100% admiration for all the love you gave him and all the love he feels for you. Please know we are all with you here and keeping you in our prayers.

Mark,

You are so good and caring for us all here. I feel you have been blessed and I know your life has not been easy by any stretch. Thank you. I appreciate all your prayers and kind words. Hope you are all having a better day.

Nikki,

I hope you know that everyday I am with you in spirit. I pray for all of you to have peace and comfort at this time. Angels are all around!

Kitty,

I am thinking also of you daily and hope with each day you get stronger and stronger. But, just take one day at a time. I find if I don't do that I tend to get overwhelmed so I stay in the moment....Can you feel the blessings coming your way???? Thay are!

Bless you all!

Laura

[write365]

I got some new results back from the doctor. He says that my hip pain is nothing more than a strain, though I'm not entirely sure I believe. a strain that lasts two months? whatever. But now I've got a stye in my eye, so I've got something else to worry about besides my hip and my cousin, who just went back to Iraq after two weeks leave. It's his second tour of duty over there, and he's already lost his girlfriend, who was in the same unit. Her name was Jessica Housby; some of you have probably heard of her. Please pray for him as well!

ashley

[tinasdad]

Father, we ask for peace and comfort for Nikki and her family. Let them feel Your presence tonight. Send Your Spirit and angels to attend their needs.

[slowlyhealing]

Linda Kay Shaw has gone home to be with the Lord today. Around 3 pm.

[lauraa]

My heart goes out to you Nikki and your family. God bless you all! Your mother is with the "Almighty". My he bless you and your brothers thru your loss and give you all strength and togetherness. You are all in my heart always and in my prayers. Your mother will give you signs of peace and love to let you all know she is o.k. without sickness and with the Lord and with family members who have "passed" before her......I will help in anyway I can...Keep talking with us when time always. We all love you!

Laura

[tinasdad]

Nicole, while we've already said it, our hearts are deeply touched now for you. We hold you in prayer through every moment. We know He will keep you in His hands and comfort you and your brothers by His Holy Spirit. Anything you need, just ask. we love you, Mark, Mary, Tina, Dune and Boo.

[lauraa]

Nikki,

I want you to know today is no different than any other day as I continue to keep you and your brothers in my heart and prayers. Your mom is in the light...."Eternal Life". No more suffering. She is with the Lord as he promised. She is still with all of you and happier than ever. Look for her in all you do and she will present herself to all of you and then you will be assured of this, ie. dreams, electrons, songs, etc. Praying for peace and comfort for you all.

Laura

[lauraanne]

To Nikki, I am sorry for your loss and my prayers are with you.

Christy, my thoughts and prayers are with you as you get through this time.

Ashley, I am glad there is nothing that can't be "fixed" going on with your eye and hip!

Everyone else I pray for you too.

May the Lord hold you in his arms and bring peace to your hearts. (and me too!)

Laura A.

[tinasdad]

Father, we ask Your comfort today to rest upon Nikki and her brothers in their sorrow and loss. Please heal Ashley as only You can, and let her fix her eyes on You through this time. Be with Laura and her children as they continue to cope with the loss of husband and dad, giving them comfort and peace. Strengthen Laura Anne through the trials she faces, and give her soul peace in her sorrow. Comfort Christy and Peter during this time, and let them know Kagan is as close as their hearts. Fill Kitty with Your mercy and strength, and protect her as she serves You. Keep us all from the worker of darkness, and let us rejoice in the light of the Son.

Nikki, our prayers are often for you. Love you. Through the pain in your heart, you will see the sun again. The Lord will walk with you every step. We will help you all we can.

Christy, slow down, you drive like me! Must I get another Vette?

[butterfly10954]

Ilost my Dad on July 4th, and am still pretty much in shock. He knew that he wasn't well for a while, had been having chest pains, but refused to go to dr. Didn't tellus about the chest pains, and we only found out because after he died the doctor told us he told them. He never wanted to burden anyone, in life as in death.

I truly believe that it was his time, and that God just called him home. There was nothing anyone could have done to help or prevent it, because a) he wouldn't have listened, and it was just his time, and he was ready.

I have had many spiritual things happen around this death, confirming to me that there is more out there than we can ever know, and that our souls do go on after we die. If anyone would like to talk about this, please feel free to contact me by my email. Cindy

[tinasdad]

Cindy, I am sorry to hear of your Dad's death. People can often tell their moment, and it sounds like your Dad lived this life with a strong character. We will pray for you through this time.

[slowlyhealing]

Ilost my Dad on July 4th, and am still pretty much in shock. He knew that he wasn't well for a while, had been having chest pains, but refused to go to dr. Didn't tellus about the chest pains, and we only found out because after he died the doctor told us he told them. He never wanted to burden anyone, in life as in death.

I truly believe that it was his time, and that God just called him home. There was nothing anyone could have done to help or prevent it, because a) he wouldn't have listened, and it was just his time, and he was ready.

I have had many spiritual things happen around this death, confirming to me that there is more out there than we can ever know, and that our souls do go on after we die. If anyone would like to talk about this, please feel free to contact me by my email. Cindy

Cindy,

I am so very sorry to hear about your father's death. God called my momma home last Thursday and though its still so very hard to believe, I know it was momma's time.

It was like she knew... she knew it was coming. She just kept looking toward the front door. She couldn't say anything, but she just kept looking.

She didn't go in pain, and I know that my mom well she can now walk, and talk, and hug. Oh how wonderful it will be to see her like that again.

God will give us the strength we need to get by. He will give us the hope and the peace like no other. We just have to believe in him.

[lauraa]

Cindy,

I am truely sorry for your loss. Keep talking with us here and we can all help to lift one another thru God's help.

Nikki,

Not a day goes by without prayers from me going your way. I hope you can feel them.

Mark,

Thank you for all your prayers. They help so much.

Peace to All of you.