Loss of an Adult Child

[JD's Mom, Becky]

Thank you Dee, Susan, Rhonda, Betty, and Sherry for all your support. I feel a bit better this evening. Just got my pups all setttled for the night, and have to get up early and tend to them before going in town to our football games. I will leave a couple of times and sneak home to make sure the pups are alright, which I am sure they will be, as momma Marissa is settling into her role very nicely now, not having "people" anxiety when anyone peeks in the room at her.

I can't help but feel affection for these tiny babies, which surprises me, because I have felt so devoid of affection, just have felt like I am stuck in time, doing what is necessary, but not feeling much other than sorrow.

Tomorrow will be busy, and I will be tired when I get home, but I think that Sunday, I may want to go pick out new flowers for the cemetery, and maybe some for the heart hanger and basket out front. The actual date isn't until Wednesday, but for me it will be Monday, as that is the 52 week mark, and a Monday, as it was when it happened.

My husband is taking off from work on both those days, and my daughter gets off early on Monday, and then has the day off on Wednesday.

I just feel like I just want it to be our little family, just the three of us, to maybe walk down to the sign with his picture where he died, and take more pictures of the sunset ...

[Allysons mom]

Hi. My name is Sheryl and I just signed up on this site. First, I want to say how sorry I am for the losses all of you have suffered.

I need to communicate with others who share the same pain I do, so I would like to tell my story.

My 22 yr old daughter, Allyson went to bed in the early morning of July 5, 2012 and she never woke up. She had graduated from college on May 4 (Un of S Carolina), and got a job in North Carolina on June 6. We moved her into a great apartment in the middle of the city and she already had lots of friends there. She started her job July 2 and was so happy. She had tweeted days before "I love my life". This should give me comfort, but it just makes me hurt more. I called her my "mini me, only better". She totally amazed me with what she accomplished.

We have no known cause for what happened. It's almost 3 months and still nothing. She was healthy, happy and she didn't take drugs. She was robbed of the "next chapter" of her life, which she worked so hard for and we feel cheated.

Everything I have read here about what you are feeling is just what I feel. The thing is I always thought if something happened to one of my kids, I would be curled up in bed forever. I would like to be, but I can't sleep and minutes seem like hours. So I went back to my part time job. The only thing that helps us is to stay busy and also take trips (so we're not at the home I now hate). We've been to smoky mountains, visited friends, I've gone with my husband on business trips, whatever. If we didn't do this and divert our minds from the constant pain and sadness... I think you may all know what may happen. Life doesn't seem worth it without Allyson. I have to say that when we come home from these trips, everythings hits us all over again. We miss her so very much.

Nobody understands what we are going through. I try to act somewhat normal at work and people say "you are really doing well. I would be a puddle on the floor". That infuriates me because it seems like they believe I didn't love my child as much as they love theirs. They have no idea what I'm really feeling or that all we do at home is cry and wish for our daughter.

Thanks for reading

[ericasmom]

Cheryl, so many say what they think as they think it, not really figuring out how it lands on our hearts. Most say things that they feel are kind, you seem to be doing well is a nice thing, few know that we do what we do in order to stay alive, not knowing that comments cut like knives. I think one thing you can do to alleviate your frustration with what is said is to say, I am glad that it seems I am doing well, inside we are crushed but we know that staying busy right now is important for us. That can end the speculation and curb the comments from continuing. You could also just say, Life sucks, this loss has turned us inside out, working is one way to make some of the minutes in a day pass quicker. This might give them some small insight into your aching heart.

I am sorry for your HUGE LOSS. Your Girl sounds like a dearheart, a real winning personality and go-getter. I hope that the doctors can find what occurred so that you can have a name for what stole your Girl, not that it helps but sometimes just knowing it has a name allows more contact with others in the same situation. There are many here whose children also died in similar ways.

I wish you some sort of sign from your beautiful Girl and I hope that you will tell us more about your lives as you are able.

Being on this road for 9+years allows me to say that life will get softer one day, though a lot of work before it happens. We are here.

[iamtups4]

Hello, its been a few days and I thought I'd say hello. We passed the one month mark since Q's been gone. My boss gave me a book to read "Through a Season of Grief" and I realize there is so much more to this whole thing. Each page I read leaves me with the feeling of being more out of control. My son is gone and I am struggling.... I am out of control. There are topics that have not even come up yet and I realize the depth of this grief is far passed what I initially thought. But I will say I have been trying to communicate more with my husband, I told him that he was going to need to get used to me crying when I felt like crying, I am sick of staying up late to cry by myself after he's gone to work for fear it will upset him.

I went back to work, which was a good thing for me. It at least gives me a block of time that I can concentrate on something. Don't get me wrong, i cry on the way there and the way home. Sometimes because I know i'm heading home to where he wont be, sometimes because I feel guilty as if I was on stolen time at work where I gave into a me need and pushed his memory back and sometimes just because he is gone. But the extra activity has helped me to actually sleep an entire 6 or 7 hours.

My boss, the same one who gave me the book, asked me a question, "I know there aren't any good times, but tell me about the ok times since he's been gone." I thought for a while, wondering what answer he was looking for and I replied with the truth, I said, "When I have been around people i care about." He smiled and said , "That's because we're hardwired to be around people we care about, we are pack animals. So don't be afraid to talk or say anything, if they're part of your pack, they'll understand." I like him.

Peaceful wishes to you all.

[Angel'sSon]

Hi. My name is Sheryl and I just signed up on this site. First, I want to say how sorry I am for the losses all of you have suffered.

I need to communicate with others who share the same pain I do, so I would like to tell my story.

My 22 yr old daughter, Allyson went to bed in the early morning of July 5, 2012 and she never woke up. She had graduated from college on May 4 (Un of S Carolina), and got a job in North Carolina on June 6. We moved her into a great apartment in the middle of the city and she already had lots of friends there. She started her job July 2 and was so happy. She had tweeted days before "I love my life". This should give me comfort, but it just makes me hurt more. I called her my "mini me, only better". She totally amazed me with what she accomplished.

We have no known cause for what happened. It's almost 3 months and still nothing. She was healthy, happy and she didn't take drugs. She was robbed of the "next chapter" of her life, which she worked so hard for and we feel cheated.

Everything I have read here about what you are feeling is just what I feel. The thing is I always thought if something happened to one of my kids, I would be curled up in bed forever. I would like to be, but I can't sleep and minutes seem like hours. So I went back to my part time job. The only thing that helps us is to stay busy and also take trips (so we're not at the home I now hate). We've been to smoky mountains, visited friends, I've gone with my husband on business trips, whatever. If we didn't do this and divert our minds from the constant pain and sadness... I think you may all know what may happen. Life doesn't seem worth it without Allyson. I have to say that when we come home from these trips, everythings hits us all over again. We miss her so very much.

Nobody understands what we are going through. I try to act somewhat normal at work and people say "you are really doing well. I would be a puddle on the floor". That infuriates me because it seems like they believe I didn't love my child as much as they love theirs. They have no idea what I'm really feeling or that all we do at home is cry and wish for our daughter.

Thanks for reading

Sheryl, My son has been gone for 6 weeks and 3 days. He was 30 yrs. old. He sounds like Allyson, Loving live!!! It's the not knowing why or how this could happen to us. I'm still in a daze and my emotions are all over the place. I want to wake up from this nightmare and my son will be here. I think about him every minute that I'm awake. No one can know how it feels to lose a child until it happens. I don't think my life will ever be the same again. I'm glad you are able to take trips. I don't work, so I sit here and just think. I post on here everyday and look at other posts, to know I'm not alone!!! Sorry about Allyson!!! Just keep posting.

[JD's Mom, Becky]

Wow, Sheryl, Allyson's mom, I am so very sorry for the loss of your daughter. I find myself thinking about how my 15 year old never got the chance to grow up and graduate, and get his license, and go to college... and here you are having achieved and witnessed all those accomplishments, and lost your girl before she got to know the fruits of her labor. Keep coming back and tell us more about her. Share her pictures here or in the gallery, and we'll be here to listen. I still have so many unanswered questions, and I remember days when the need for those answers was so overpowering, that I felt like I wouldn't be able to draw my next breath without someone telling me something! Hang in there.

Qs Mom, I think it is a wonderful thing that you have this insightful person in your life right now! It is so refreshing when someone can be honest and doesn't give you the same pitiful comments you have heard over and over that really do you no good. Yes, we know they are well intentioned, but we find ourselves shaking our heads, and hoping we would not have acted like that if the shoe had been on the other foot! I do the same thing as you describe, in keeping my feelings in check not to upset my husband who goes to work everyday, and my daughter, who seems to be in a bit better place since she started working. Sometimes, though I have to let them know just how emotional I still feel, and we do share with each other in that way.

Susan, it might do you good to try to get out for short trips, and then see if you can add to the time away. I work from home, and I think that is why I am healing slower than my husband or my daughter, as they do have more social interaction by working everyday than I do. If I stay at home all the time, I will completely lose track of time, either writing poetry or making pictures with him in them, but when I am able to pull myself together and get out some, I do find that my mind is clearer, though I also feel like I am on a completely different plane that most of the people around me. There are some that "get it", and for those few, I am thankful. Hang on.

Dee, your words, no matter who they are written for, always always lift me. I am so thankful you are here!

[Angel'sSon]

Wow, Sheryl, Allyson's mom, I am so very sorry for the loss of your daughter. I find myself thinking about how my 15 year old never got the chance to grow up and graduate, and get his license, and go to college... and here you are having achieved and witnessed all those accomplishments, and lost your girl before she got to know the fruits of her labor. Keep coming back and tell us more about her. Share her pictures here or in the gallery, and we'll be here to listen. I still have so many unanswered questions, and I remember days when the need for those answers was so overpowering, that I felt like I wouldn't be able to draw my next breath without someone telling me something! Hang in there.

Qs Mom, I think it is a wonderful thing that you have this insightful person in your life right now! It is so refreshing when someone can be honest and doesn't give you the same pitiful comments you have heard over and over that really do you no good. Yes, we know they are well intentioned, but we find ourselves shaking our heads, and hoping we would not have acted like that if the shoe had been on the other foot! I do the same thing as you describe, in keeping my feelings in check not to upset my husband who goes to work everyday, and my daughter, who seems to be in a bit better place since she started working. Sometimes, though I have to let them know just how emotional I still feel, and we do share with each other in that way.

Susan, it might do you good to try to get out for short trips, and then see if you can add to the time away. I work from home, and I think that is why I am healing slower than my husband or my daughter, as they do have more social interaction by working everyday than I do. If I stay at home all the time, I will completely lose track of time, either writing poetry or making pictures with him in them, or researching things to do with our pending civil suit; all of which keep leading me back to the horror of what is, but when I am able to pull myself together and get out some, I do find that my mind is clearer, though I also feel like I am on a completely different plane that most of the people around me. There are some that "get it", and for those few, I am thankful. Hang on.

Dee, your words, no matter who they are written for, always always lift me. I am so thankful you are here!

I do need to do something with my time instead of just sit in and think about my son!! I wrote poetry years ago. I've been on medication for depression for years. But, there is no medication that will help now. I feel like I just can't get out!!! So, maybe if I get out it will help????? Later, I do plan on going through pictures and making an album for my grandbaby. I just can't bring myself to do it right now. Thanks for your words!!!!!!!

[Vijayabanu]

Hi! Westly's mom....thanks for yr comforting words... I don't think any one really understands the innermost feelings....as we do here...I m living like a zombie...not feeling anything..cant feel the taste... Cant remember...lost appetite...not knowing whether my son is going hungry....or has eaten...or is happy...or sad....whether he ll recognise me when I go to him.. Just going abt my job mechanically...at times I feel if only god takes away the heart and mind from me....I can be at peace....but then grieving for my son makes me closer to him....

Hi Dee....my heart goes out to the parents of the 18 year old who drowned....it's the suddenness and unexpectedness that hits at the face....heart... Hale and healthy children....the thought that my son would have struggled for those few minutes is what making me sad....feel angry...we being devout Hindus ....took him to all the tmples...now I m an atheist...dont have any more faith...

Hi Susan....I don't think the pain will ever go away...there is a saying in sanskrit ' putra sogam nirantharam....putra sogam dine dine' meaning...the loss of a child is onensorrow which is permanent and will be felt every day till a mother lives... If The powers that be has given this....I think he is showing hell in this world so that we can be with our children in heaven etnally

[Vijayabanu]

Look for 'tears in heaven' by Eric Clapton , celine deon's "fly"....and "one more day...one more time" So soulful....tears flows down the cheek and brings so much of inner peace....

[Guest]

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[ericasmom]

Q's Mom, wow what a good manager you work with/for. He values your emotions and the time it takes for this process. I am stunned by this and wish more folks had this kind of involvement. I teach third grade, when Eri lay dying for the six days after the accident in Michigan, my principal drove the 3 hours to say goodbye to Eri. She had been Eri's 4th grade teacher and a friend to our family. It meant a lot to me for her to walk down that long hallway alongside me and my shattered heart. I returned to work when school began again, (she died in the summer) and was unsure if I could do it but found that it was what I needed to do to find a rhythm and purpose to my days again. Eri would want me to continue doing what I love to do anyway. I am glad for you to have that kind of support. Finding the goodness in small things is also a way to find your footing each day.

Kirians Mom, keep listening to music and reading, books can give you some great support during these hardest of times. One book that I liked though I did not read cover to cover is THE WORST LOSS written by two women who lost their children. I read a lot of memoir and one of my favorites is Name All the Animals by Alison Smith-written by the sister of a boy who was killed suddenly, and Paula, written by Isabelle Alende' whose daughter Paula died from an illness. Later she wrote, The Sum of Our Days-written as a letter to Paula to recount the ten years since her leaving.

Kiran's MOm, Eri left suddenly also, 5 days after her accident when an Amtrak hit her car at a broken crossing. I spoke with her about 40 minutes prior toher being hit, we laughed and said, " i love you." I am forever grateful for having been her Momma.

[Lilys parents]

Hi Lily's Dad

I too have not posted on this board, but read it everyday as it gives me much comfort and support. Your story prompted me to post as like you I lost my sweet 17 year old son Christopher suddenly in his sleep as well. My healthy, happy smiling boy simply went to bed and didn't wake up. We too had many questions on what happened as they first told us that he passed from pneumonia since he had blood in his lungs. My husband and I knew this was not the case as Chris had not been sick. Actually the night before he was running around playing the WII with my husband full of energy. Everyone I spoke with including many doctors told us that it sounded like a cardiac event not pneumonia. It took us 6 long months but we were able to finally find out that he had an abnormal coronary artery that caused a sudden cardiac event. The artery was so small they would have never detected it.. I know how important these answers are. I am a bit further along than you, we lost Chris on February 21, 2011 but even after 19 months the loss and pain are immense. I am so very deeply for your loss of your beautiful Lily. I hope that his board can offer you both comfort and hope.

Christopher's mom

Lily's Dad and Christopher's Mom-My son Westley died in his sleep as well and since it happened in January 2010, I have heard it more often than I would have ever dreamed. I'm so sorry for your losses that were so sudden and devastating.

Becky-Thinking of you as Jared's angel day comes. The days leading up are usually worse for me than the actual day, but that first one was horribly difficult for me. You are in my thoughts.

Betty-Always good to see your Stephen and know that you are doing okay.

A heaven sent Happy Birthday Lily.

Lily's dad, I am so sorry for the reason that you are here,the loss of your beautiful daughter. gather here with others that have lost our greatest gifts,may you continue to come and sit a spell. In sharing, we learn to take out first steps.

My son,Richard,died at age 20 from Cardiac Dysrthythmia, also in his sleep.

I have been adjusting my dear indigo friends. I think things are starting to go in the right direction but in doing this, taking yet another road, I have not found the strength in myself to pull up any thing I felt was helpful. I will read,catch up and be back around.

To our newbies, I am sorry that you had to seek out such as place but know, this is a compassionate,feeling group which is always open, listening and caring.<br clear="all">

Hi. My name is Sheryl and I just signed up on this site. First, I want to say how sorry I am for the losses all of you have suffered.

I need to communicate with others who share the same pain I do, so I would like to tell my story.

My 22 yr old daughter, Allyson went to bed in the early morning of July 5, 2012 and she never woke up. She had graduated from college on May 4 (Un of S Carolina), and got a job in North Carolina on June 6. We moved her into a great apartment in the middle of the city and she already had lots of friends there. She started her job July 2 and was so happy. She had tweeted days before "I love my life". This should give me comfort, but it just makes me hurt more. I called her my "mini me, only better". She totally amazed me with what she accomplished.

We have no known cause for what happened. It's almost 3 months and still nothing. She was healthy, happy and she didn't take drugs. She was robbed of the "next chapter" of her life, which she worked so hard for and we feel cheated.

Everything I have read here about what you are feeling is just what I feel. The thing is I always thought if something happened to one of my kids, I would be curled up in bed forever. I would like to be, but I can't sleep and minutes seem like hours. So I went back to my part time job. The only thing that helps us is to stay busy and also take trips (so we're not at the home I now hate). We've been to smoky mountains, visited friends, I've gone with my husband on business trips, whatever. If we didn't do this and divert our minds from the constant pain and sadness... I think you may all know what may happen. Life doesn't seem worth it without Allyson. I have to say that when we come home from these trips, everythings hits us all over again. We miss her so very much.

Nobody understands what we are going through. I try to act somewhat normal at work and people say "you are really doing well. I would be a puddle on the floor". That infuriates me because it seems like they believe I didn't love my child as much as they love theirs. They have no idea what I'm really feeling or that all we do at home is cry and wish for our daughter.

Thanks for reading

[Lilys parents]

Thank you all for the kind wishes on my daughters B-Day.

I have found myself now starting on another unwanted adventure . Because my daughter passed away with an " Undetermined " finding. My best definition is an SUD." Sudden Undetermined Death" . She had no alcohol or drugs involved, no abnormalities, all tests came up normal. They said they checked for everything , leaving us with that fact, and now to start looking in family members with testing " I guess" for abnormalities or ? I don't know and neither do they. To find something inherited or genetic. So as I viewed thru many posts, and I came up with a few similar cases to us . And if any of you have any insights on this , Allysons Mom, Westly's Mom, Christopher's Mom, My SonRich , or ? I would be interested in your findings.

It was 2 months yesterday , another hard day, of missing her, and of all the future she had, and experiences she never experienced , its just heart breaking to us. Still having the wish to go to her sooner then god intended , but then reminding each other how much we 're needed now and here , on this earth for our family, and soon to be grandparents. But that there will be that day of reuniting with her , and I'm sure she'll be there waiting for us out front , with her beautiful smile and arms wide open to welcome us : ) Dad

PS; I thought I attached the prior 4 posts to this one. From the people mentioned above.

[ericasmom]

A big hello from Kate who has been unable to get on our site since it was re-done. Konnie is working on it, thanks Konnie.

Becky, Kate sends her deep thoughts and care for you as this week marks your Hardest Dates.

Today has been quite beautiful outdoors though the cold I have prevents from too much energy to do much. I did manage two nice walks and did grade papers outdoors on the deck under crystal blue skies. SO pretty.

I wish you all some deep sleep if possible. I wish you dreams that are more like visits from your Child and I wish you the sense of the peace our Children enjoy.

[Allysons mom]

Thank you for all the support and words of encouragement. It helps so much to know that everything I am feeling is shared by you and I am normal. Some of the things I couldn't put into words, you did for me.

JDs mom, Thank you for writing just what my thoughts were. Allyson worked so hard and never got to see the fruits of her labor. We worked hard to put her through out of state college and never got to see her succeed. She did get a job though, which she was so proud of. I am so sorry JD didn't get to experience that part of his life. I know the age doesn't matter. There is so much that all of our children didn't get to experience.

Qsmom, I also went back to work. I cry on the way there. I cry when I get home. Sometimes I cry at work. But it gets me through the day. For about 6 weeks, I was a vegatable on the couch. I can't sleep, so I just sat there with the tv on. I wasn't even really watching the tv. Minutes seemed like hours. Days were endless and they still are when I stay home. My husband works from home, so he was always there too. We can't help each other. It's so hard. I had to get out and it does help.

Susan, try to get out. Those 1st 6 weeks, I had friends who made me just go for a walk in the neighborhood. Other than that, I was on the couch. When you get out, your mind can take a diversion for a little while. Oh my gosh does it help. I do feel very guilty, though. It's like a jolt. But, according to my therapist, we need that relief even if it's only temporary.

Lilys parents, I thought I was kind of alone in the way I lost my daughter.

My husband works for a cardiologist and my girlfriend is a CCU nurse and has talked to several cardiologists. They all think Allyson had some freak cardiac arrythmia and called it Long QT or something. They can't say for sure. They just have to rule out everything else, so we may never know for sure. As you know, this makes the whole nightmare even worse. We were told to have my son get an EKG. He's 26 and will hopefully do it. It's almost 3 months for us and I totally understand about wishing to go be with your daughter sooner than expected, as well as your other sentiments. It is our new life.

Sheryl

[Angel'sSon]

First, so sorry for all that lost loved ones!!!!! Dustin, my son, passed away 6 weeks and 4 days ago. I almost felt like today I was re-living the funeral, if that makes since.

I did get out today and went with my boyfriend to his family reunion. I thought I would be ok. The drive to the lake was nice, but once we got there and I saw all the people, which I did know most of them, I didn't want to get out of the truck. I had to go through hugs and the I'm so sorry, if there's anything that I can do you have my phone number, ect. I didn't need that again and just didn't expect it. It made me feel like I did at the funeral and It all came back, even tho the funeral goes through my mind daily. We ate and I told my boyfriend I needed to go home. He is understanding and thank goodness we left. I came home and took a much needed nap. Now I'm back to just wanting my son here with me!!! I'm thinking it was too soon for me to go to a gathering. My boyfriend goes to wal-mart for me!! I hate this way of living and all it takes is one incident to change a person's life forever. I miss you and love you Dustin!!! MOM omg...this has been another day to get through!!!

Also, a heavenly Birthday to Lily!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Angel'sSon]

Look for 'tears in heaven' by Eric Clapton , celine deon's "fly"....and "one more day...one more time" So soulful....tears flows down the cheek and brings so much of inner peace....

Simple Plan-Gone Too Soon with lyrics...Very true, Gone too soon!!! I Eric Clapton and Celine Dion!!!!

[JD's Mom, Becky]

New flower arrangement that we will take to the cemetery tomorrow.

[Angel'sSon]

New flower arrangement that we will take to the cemetery tomorrow.

Absolutely beautiful!!!!

[mikesmomrs]

Stopping by to let you all know that I am still here...saying hello and I am so very sorry for your loss to all of the new people here, so very, very sorry that you had to look for a place such as this, but you have indeed found a good place to be. Comfort, understanding, and wisdom from those who have been walking this path for a long while are here and will help you find your way. It is so very hard to keep going, to keep moving forward when all we want to do is fade away into nothingness until we are able to meet up with our child again. My son, Mike, will be gone six years this coming October 14, and it hardly seems possible some times, and then other times it seems like a lifetime ago.

Today (Sunday) marked the one month anniversary of my husband's leaving this earth. Again, it seems like a lifetime ago, and yet other times it seems as if only a moment ago I was holding his hand. My heart is in shock once again, my life seems to be in a holding pattern that I don't desire. I went to church today but had to leave when they started singing "How Great Thou Art." One of my husband's very favorite hymns and I can still see him standing there, straight and filled with grace as he sang the words with so much emotion. I totally lost it and had to leave, could not find my breath as I cried all the way to the car. Thank God, my daughter Kim is still with me. I feel so selfish, having her here, as she has her own family who need her, but they are graciously "sharing" her right now to help me regain my footing. She likely will be going home the end of this week or soon after.

We attended our first "family gathering" this past week, to celebrate Jamie's 14th birthday. It was very painful to look down the table at everyone's face and not wind up looking into the eyes of my sweet hubby. The sense of his absence was profound, but I was able to hold it together until the very end, at which time I retreated to the bathroom and cried buckets. With the holidays coming, I just shudder at the thought of trying to hold it all together, but I know that I will for the grandkids, as they are missing him very much too and I must be there for them. Davis is having an especially hard time, and I am trying to help him through these initial days.

BECKY: I remember well that first year anniversary...so, so sad. The flower arrangement is so very beautiful. Our daughters did an arrangement for their brother with the rastafarian colors....Mike was an avid fan of Bob Marley. He was waked with his favorite Bob Marley shirt and a pair of patchwork type pants on, as well as his beanie cap of rastafarian colors that he got on his trip to Jamaica for he and his wife Sarah's honeymoon. I am so very sorry you have to go through this...I know that you've had a lot to deal with what with the details of how Jared died and I pray that eventually (and soon) something will come of your efforts, especially to get the speed limit reduced. I am so sorry that your experience in trying to reach your husband brought you back to that horrible day when you were trying to reach him before...the day that Jared left this world. You are in my prayers as you experience this date and I pray for peace to fill your heart.

KIRAN: Thank you for sharing the song suggestions. Music helps me also, and sometimes when I need to cry but just can't, I will listen to a song that stirs my emotions and then I will begin to cry, healing and soothing tears. I am so sorry for your loss.

SUSAN: I am so sorry for the loss of your son, Dustin. Six weeks is such a short, short time. I am glad you found this site early on, but again, as I've said to others, I am so sorry that you had a need to look for it. My heart goes out to you. I know what you mean about going out too soon. I feel the need to go to church, but when I do, I just collapse into tears.

SHERYL: I am so glad that the words you've read here have been encouraging and supportive to you regarding your loss of your precious Allyson. I am glad that you did get to see her graduate and land a job in her chosen field, though I can imagine the sadness you must feel that she is still not doing just that. Holding you close in my heart, also. I too cried on my way to and from work. For months, I would scream most days, and found myself hoarse for that first year, with many people asking if I had a "throat problem" as a result. One woman, the grandmother of one of my son's boys, asked, and when I looked at her, she said "Oh, I am so sorry to have asked. I understand." Her words were strangely comforting...comforting I guess in that she seemed to truly understand why I couldn't answer. I do know what you mean about when people say "I couldn't do this," or "I would be a puddle on the floor." But again, it boils down to people just not knowing what to say and saying the wrong thing just to say "something."

LILY'S DAD: There are a few others, as you've learned, on this site, who have lost their beautiful child in a sudden, unexplained way. Such sorrow to come at you so suddenly and inexplicably. I am so very sorry and wish that you never knew such sorrow. We knew ahead of time that Mike was going to die...he had a glioblastoma multiforme brain tumor, grade IV and was given up to 2 years to live after his second brain surgery, which was just 10 days after diagnosis. He survived for 17 months, which was truly a blessing. He had three young boys and we truly believe that those extra months gave his older two boys (his baby was only 18 months when Mike died) the chance to remember their dad more strongly. I don't know if I would have chosen a sudden learning of Mike's leaving us...but I am grateful for those extra months, though I lived with much regret and guilt for a while that I did not "do more." I was his primary caregiver when he went into hospice, but yet I still feel I fell short of what all I should have/could have done.

KATE: Yes, a big hello to you, dear. I didn't even know there was anything new about the site, and it took me a few days of reading to realize the new format. I do hope that Konnie is able to get you back on the site soon. We miss your words and presence. I know it is turning colder where you are sooner than it is here, but I hope you are having sunny days to at least enjoy the fall.

DEE: So very sorry that you've been experiencing a cold...though glad that you did get outdoors some, as I know how important it is for you and how much it helps you. Grading papers on the porch under the clear blue sky sounds wonderful! Those days of fall when it is warm enough to do that still are such a gift, aren't they...

CHRISTOPHER'S MOM: Another beautiful young man, gone much too soon and I am so, so sorry for your loss. I know that your lives changed drastically, and I am sorry that it took so long for the explanation. Some who do not experience this loss wonder why it is so important to know the why...but all of us here know how important it is and we do know also that no, it won't "bring them back," but still there is the need to know and to understand.

BETTY: Good to see your Stephen's smile and to know that you have his picture framed for you to look at often. I was so happy to have helped in restoring it and it warms my heart to know that it means so much to you. It is indeed an awesome picture of Stephen, and the love shows forth in his face.

BETSY: Good to see your post, also, and your smiling Rich. My heart and prayers are with you as you venture forth to find you path again, and I pray you are surrounded with the gifts of peace that you seek as you settle in anew. You know that Rich is with you always, of course, wherever you are. How is Sarah doing?

RHONDA: Good to hear from you, also, and see Westley's smiling face.

QsMOM: I agree, it is wonderful that you have such an understanding manager, who is even willing to reach out and help you as he can. I am very sorry for your loss of your precious son and you are in my prayers also. Like Dee, I too am stunned and wish so much that more people would resond this way to their employees when such tragedy strikes. I had a terrible boss who refused to accept the fact that I wanted to be involved in my son's care, because he "is married" and "You don't need to be there." When she heard that Mike was terminal, she said to me "Well, really, aren't we all?" Yes, people can be cruel, and I am so glad that your manager is kind and patient with you.

LORA: Your daughter Cara, is so very beautiful. I too try to find something every day that I remember with love and joy, though in the first months it can be very difficult to focus on that. Your words " I am broken, I can be mended but I will never be the same is what I want to say" ring so true to my own heart. I am thankful and feel blessed that we had Mike for the time that we did, and of course, his three children are huge, wonderful blessings that I am truly thankful for each and every day. His middle son, Kameron, who is now 15 and just over 6' tall, was here today, and he is SO like his dad...in every way...and sounds exactly like him. At first it was painful for me to hear him speak, but I have learned over time to receive it into my heart as a great gift that I have been blessed to have.

SHERRY: I am glad that it was okay for me to post Davey's picture, and I am glad I was able to help restore it somewhat for you. Those picture are so very precious, and we hold them dear as wonderful treasures. So sorry you are having to have dental work...I too am going through similar. I have a permanent bridge that broke some time ago, but it was right in the middle of hubby's hospitalization, and I just couldn't leave long enough to do anything about it. Of course, the delay caused more damage, so there will have to be some painful and of course, expensive work done now. Nevermind, though, I am glad and thankful I was able to be there for him and with him every day and night. There were many days when I would just thank God that I was healthy enough to be able to care for him, as I have had some very lengthy bouts with my fibromyalgia in the past that would have certainly prevented my involvement with his care had they surfaced during this time. We had many blessings during his illness, and I am so very thankful for all of them.

BANU: Oh, my dear, I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet and wonderful son, Kiran. I agree, how very brave of him to try to help his friend, and I am very, very sorry for the outcome. Yes, these days when our loss is so fresh are devestating, and my heart goes out to you and you are in my prayers for strength to help you through each day. No, we do not every get over our loss, but over time (Much time), it does seem to "soften" some and the piercing pain of the initial months/years seems to come less often, though this seemes to come at a different time for everyone.

To all, you are as usual, in my prayers and thoughts, and I send love to you all. Having this site and all of you here, has been a comfort to me, and provided strength. Thank you.

[ericasmom]

Carol, I am ever-amazed at your ability to address so many when your heart is aching so deeply. I know that the one month mark must be difficult and the experience in the church sending you out to weep,I am glad that you weep, that you allow those tears to rinse through your aches and while the tears don't make the situation any different, they do allow the pressure to change some. Few will ever know the kind of harmony you and your Mike (husband) developed. True partnership is not the norm but rather the hope. You worked together in such a way that looking down the table at your beloved with the children laughing and sharing their days;that look was an affirmation of a job well done, or the look said, look how far we've been able to come.

He is looking down the table Carol and sees his beloved, his partner and he is so glad in his heart to have you so embedded there.

[ericasmom]

JARED

Jared

Jared

May you always know the love that is here deep in your heart, let it fuel your strength and ability to reach those and let them know that in all this time, this long year away from you, you have watched and deeply loved your Mom, Dad, Sister and friends. Give them the signs that allow them to continue their hard work trying to make life here, safer for others in your NAME.

[BrendaDup59]

Hi.well looks like this sight got a face lift.. and I do not think it has been this quiet since I joined , went to my nieces baby shower yesterday , it was nice, I cant wait to see her little face .. my emotions have been every where this weekend, so hard I miss Brian so much, I hope everyone is having an OK day thinking of you all. Love Brenda

[JD's Mom, Becky]

Jared, Your angelversary is the 3rd, but today is exactly 52 weeks, as you left us on a Monday.

http://delmarpopwarn...videoplayer.htm

[tobyfreefoot]

Jared, Your angelversary is the 3rd, but today is exactly 52 weeks, as you left us on a Monday.

http://delmarpopwarn...videoplayer.htm

Follow my year in trying to honor and pay tribute to my beautiful son, Jared.

http://delmarpopwarn...othersdiary.htm

dear becky thanks for sharing your diary. i watched the video and had to pause it. i almost couldn't watch it all. i rarely cry now, i guess i stifled it so far down trying to go to work etc. but that video would have me sobbing on the floor if my partner weren't here. perhaps i will watch it in a few days when he is at work and i feel free to get in touch with that wealth of tears and pain i keep stashed away. my heart is so broken and i don't let myself feel it. i guess cause the pain is so bad i'm afraid to be back where i was when this happened. anyway thanks for your posts and i am so sorry. i hope you have many people around you to love and care for you.

[tobyfreefoot]

i found this on my son forest's facebook wall yesterday posted from his brother logan. it scares me and breaks my already broken heart. he won't get counseling and drinks like a fish everyday.he is 23 years old. i feel like my family will never recover.

Logan Addison Foster----Forest Sharp17 hours ago ·

‎"Angels have no thought of ever returning you, would they be angry if i thought of joining you?" I miss you as a brother, friend, roommate, bully, teammate, troll....

[ericasmom]

Oh Gretchen, I am so sorry, I wish that I could c ome over and let him know just how hard this is on the family. He may need an intervention. I know that this is making it difficult to fully grieve as you must also worry so much. I will pray extra for your boy to feel the hope of his Brother, to stop drinking to numb himself and to let the pain of htis horrible loss to be felt and dealt with. Prayers.

[Jeff's Mom]

Jared, Your angelversary is the 3rd, but today is exactly 52 weeks, as you left us on a Monday.

http://delmarpopwarn...videoplayer.htm

Follow my year in trying to honor and pay tribute to my beautiful son, Jared.

http://delmarpopwarn...othersdiary.htm

Well, it's a good thing I don't rely on the internet to make a living! I'm hopeless on a computer! Thanks, Konnie...you are a life saver.

I have been reading all of the posts over the past few days. And I have been thinking of everyone and sending prayers and loving thoughts.

Becky...I know this has been a very difficult year to work through. I'm sure your Jared has been beside you all of the way on this difficult journey. Someone has said, "What the caterpillar thinks is the end of life, the butterfly thinks is just the beginning." Our children are always with us along this road to recovery. To finding a way to continue to live in our new found way of existence. Time and patience and faith is all we can ask and hope for. A softening of the pain and the comfort of knowing we will be reunited again.

Carol, I am sending much love and want you to know that you are a very strong and courageous lady. You have been through so much these past few years. I am really happy to see that Kim is still with you helping you along this initial first phase. Baby steps...one day at a time. That is all you can ask of yourself at this point. Please do take care of yourself and keep posting.

Dee....hope your cold bug will soon clear up. Thanks for your help...I appreciate it.

Brenda...I was so frustrated reading your post and unable to respond. Sorry to see you are feeling so low. Have you had the opportunity to take any more photos? I imagine the fall colours are striking at this time.

Sherry...if I can ever figure it out I will post those promised pics. For now...I am just glad to be back on!!!! I felt as if I had had my right arm cut off without the use of this site. How we come to depend on the daily encouragement we recieve from our friends here.

Well, the weather has been absolutely amazing. Warm and very sunny days. The foliage is just breathtaking. Animals scurrying hither and yon getting ready for the dreaded upcoming winter. I have found acorns and various other things stuffed into all kinds of places in my garden. Kind of cute actually. I certainly have noticed the absence of many birds. It is starting to become quite silent in a way. I really miss waking in the morning to the sound of those cheerful little birds nesting outside our bedroom window. No doubt off to a warmer clime at this point. We are celebrating our Canadian Thanksgiving this coming weekend. So, much preparation ahead.

Thinking of all of you and sending love your way.

Kate

[briansdad]

Here is a picture from yesterday at Brian's cross.

[BrendaDup59]

Hi Kate I just found where you posted I did not get any notifications all weekend and I thought that was strange , but I was busy yesterday with my nieces baby shower .. I have checked my settings so I hope it's fixed. you said you were having problems getting on here also? I have taken some pictures ...the fall colors are really starting to show it is getting cooler here , I was sitting outside last week and was thinking how sad I was that I had not seen my little huimmingbird all day and how I was not ready to have them leave and it was not 5 minutes later he showed up and fluttered almost in my face as if to say I am here! and he had a drink I got 2 videos of him and a few pictures .. and then he left, and has gone now. it was such a nice surprise to see him just pop up then and give me 1 last time to see him . I have had a family of Cardinals visiting my feeders... I will post a few pictures .. also some of my favorite Hummingbird pictures ... I find this is my most peaceful time , taking pictures ... and thinking about my Brian and how much he is loved and missed. Take Care

Thinking of everyone . Love Brenda

[ericasmom]

BRIAN DEAR-HEART-

BRIAN you are loved and thought of each day and each day you are appreciated but missed. Sweet Young Man, Father and Son and Brother and Friend to many I am sure. You mean so much to so many. The sad date that marked this time gone is heartbreaking...the photos of your Daughter are heart lifting. Bitter and Sweet Brian.

Sweep through the old house whenever you can and make a gentle wind or sound so that Dad and Mom know that you are present.

Greg, love the photo, the cross still stands, how nice. Did you make that cross? I know that you must have ached and ached yesterday. We stand with you.

[ericasmom]

Becky, lovely tributes to your Jared. Absolutely lovely.

Brenda, the photos are publishable you know. There is a magazine called Birds and Blooms that publish photos like yours, you may want to get in on the action. So great. Even here in Illiniois I saw a hummer the other day, I was surprised and hoped that he or she got going soon as the evenings get down to the 40's. I agree Kate, I am missing the very melodious mornings and evenings for my walks. Though at lunch today for a short walk, there were some songsters in the trees. But yes, that quiet as the birds leave for their winter locals is hard on my heart too.

[summergirl]

Hello Dear Friends... Missing you today so thought I would stop in and say hello. I was going through some of my albums and found some posts from BI that I printed out back in 2009...what memories they brought back to me....so gald I printed so many of them

Carol - dear sweet friend....you absolutely amaze me with your strength....Hugs to you

I came across the following poem written by Netta Wilson and I wanted to share it:

I Lost My Child Today

I lost my child today

People cane to weep and cry

as I just sat and stared, dry eyed

They struggled to find the words to say

to try and make the pain go away

I walked the floor in disbelief

I lost my child today

I lost my child last month

Most of the people went away

Some still call and some still stay

I wait to wake up from this dream

This can't be real, I want to scream

Yet everything is locked inside

God help me, I want to die

I lost my child last month

I lost my child last year

Now people who had came have gone

I sit and struggle all day long

to bare the pain so deep inside

and now my friends just question Why?

Why does this mother not move on?

Just sits and sings the same old song

Good Heavens it has been so long

I lost my child last year

Time has no moved on for me

The numbness has not disappeared

My eyes have now cried many tears

I see the look upon your face

"She must move on and leave this place"

Yet I am trapped right here in time

The songs the same as is the rhyme

I lost my child.......today

Thought this was so beautiful, sad and so true....

Love, Hugs and Peace to all.....Kathy, Jessica's mom always

[Angel'sSon]

Jared, Your angelversary is the 3rd, but today is exactly 52 weeks, as you left us on a Monday.

http://delmarpopwarn...videoplayer.htm

Follow my year in trying to honor and pay tribute to my beautiful son, Jared.

http://delmarpopwarn...othersdiary.htm

Omg...absolutely amazing. You honored Jared so well. What a beautiful tribute!!!!!!

[Angel'sSon]

What a beautiful poem and sad, but true!!!

Hello Dear Friends... Missing you today so thought I would stop in and say hello. I was going through some of my albums and found some posts from BI that I printed out back in 2009...what memories they brought back to me....so gald I printed so many of them

Carol - dear sweet friend....you absolutely amaze me with your strength....Hugs to you

I came across the following poem written by Netta Wilson and I wanted to share it:

I Lost My Child Today

I lost my child today

People cane to weep and cry

as I just sat and stared, dry eyed

They struggled to find the words to say

to try and make the pain go away

I walked the floor in disbelief

I lost my child today

I lost my child last month

Most of the people went away

Some still call and some still stay

I wait to wake up from this dream

This can't be real, I want to scream

Yet everything is locked inside

God help me, I want to die

I lost my child last month

I lost my child last year

Now people who had came have gone

I sit and struggle all day long

to bare the pain so deep inside

and now my friends just question Why?

Why does this mother not move on?

Just sits and sings the same old song

Good Heavens it has been so long

I lost my child last year

Time has no moved on for me

The numbness has not disappeared

My eyes have now cried many tears

I see the look upon your face

"She must move on and leave this place"

Yet I am trapped right here in time

The songs the same as is the rhyme

I lost my child.......today

Thought this was so beautiful, sad and so true....

Love, Hugs and Peace to all.....Kathy, Jessica's mom always

[Angel'sSon]

Gretchen..I know you are worried about your son and I am worried about my daughter as she has started drinking since my son passed away!!! I pray that they will both somehow get help!!! For me, it's just more to worry about!! I know I don't need the stress of my daughter on top of my son being gone for only 6 1/2 weeks!!!

i found this on my son forest's facebook wall yesterday posted from his brother logan. it scares me and breaks my already broken heart. he won't get counseling and drinks like a fish everyday.he is 23 years old. i feel like my family will never recover.

Logan Addison Foster----Forest Sharp17 hours ago ·

‎"Angels have no thought of ever returning you, would they be angry if i thought of joining you?" I miss you as a brother, friend, roommate, bully, teammate, troll....

[Sholl1955]

The pain of losing Sarah continues day after day and at times still feels so unbearable, however watching my 5 year old grandaughter grieving and currently having a very hard time too is the most painful thing to witntess. Since she has returned to school and seeing her classmates with their Mama's brings on pain that is so hard to see. One day she came home and said."Mimi, Carolyn was crying for her Mama today and her Mama came and got her. I want my Mama too and she is never going to come and get me." This past Thursday I picked her up after her gymnastics class. I was helping her with her shoes and every time someones mother would come in a child would call out "Mommy" Each time this happenend I would see the deep pain, longing and depression in my sweet Maddie's eyes. She was so very close to Sarah and like the rest of us, sees her in every thing we do. There are times both of the girls (Becca is 4) just sit and cry uncontrollably and say over and over "I want my mama" We hold them, cry with them, look at pictures and share stories that we remember about mama . Learning what forever means is hard for us as adults let alone trying to explain it to little girls who just know they want mama back. The are such good girls and both love with their whole hearts. Their sign that they are thinking of their mama is that they want to snuggle. which we do anytime they want to. Well I am droning on and on. I am sorry. Just sharing with those who know and understand. Thanks for listening.

Sandy

[Angel'sSon]

Sandy, I hate that you and your grandaughters are going thru this. My son, 30 yrs. old passed away 61/2 weeks ago. His baby girl is almost 10 months old. Her first words were DaDa. He was so proud. I can feel your pain. My son's 2 neices are having to go to counseling. ages..17 and 11. They just couldn't handle their uncle being gone. They are handling the situation a little better, but like all of us, we will never get over losing a loved one!!! So, here I am with my 2 grandchildren and myself going to counseling. 11 days after my son passed away, I was admitted to the mental part of the hospital and was kept there for 5 days. I just wanted to be with my son and couldn't go on. My life is one day at a time and wanting to wake up from this nightmare. Just want my son back. My heart breaks for your grandchildren!!! Hugs to you Sandy!!!!

[Guest]

.

[Jeff's Mom]

Hello Dear Friends... Missing you today so thought I would stop in and say hello. I was going through some of my albums and found some posts from BI that I printed out back in 2009...what memories they brought back to me....so gald I printed so many of them

Carol - dear sweet friend....you absolutely amaze me with your strength....Hugs to you

I came across the following poem written by Netta Wilson and I wanted to share it:

I Lost My Child Today

I lost my child today

People cane to weep and cry

as I just sat and stared, dry eyed

They struggled to find the words to say

to try and make the pain go away

I walked the floor in disbelief

I lost my child today

I lost my child last month

Most of the people went away

Some still call and some still stay

I wait to wake up from this dream

This can't be real, I want to scream

Yet everything is locked inside

God help me, I want to die

I lost my child last month

I lost my child last year

Now people who had came have gone

I sit and struggle all day long

to bare the pain so deep inside

and now my friends just question Why?

Why does this mother not move on?

Just sits and sings the same old song

Good Heavens it has been so long

I lost my child last year

Time has no moved on for me

The numbness has not disappeared

My eyes have now cried many tears

I see the look upon your face

"She must move on and leave this place"

Yet I am trapped right here in time

The songs the same as is the rhyme

I lost my child.......today

Thought this was so beautiful, sad and so true....

Love, Hugs and Peace to all.....Kathy, Jessica's mom always

Thanks Kathy, for sharing the poem. How very true! I am sorry to see the pain that others are experiencing at this time. I know only too well those feelings of anguish in those first couple of years. As I enter into what will be a full three years in December I find myself questioning if it was just a mere few months ago. It seems like it in many ways. I had a lovely woman ask us to join them for Thanksgiving dinner. What took me by surprise was the way in which she offered her invitation. She said she was hesitant in asking... as she knew I had lost so much and was therefore probably not feeling thankful about anything. At the beginning I have to say I was in far too much pain to even care or listen intently to a comment like that. I took a long deep breath and told her that on the contrary I had much to be "thankful" for. More so now after all that has happened. Yes, I am grateful for everyday blessings such as a lovely day, etc. But I am "thankful" and enriched for the time spent in being given the opportunity to be mother to a wonderful and loving son. Hey, who could not love a kid that as a child learned to wash his hands without getting the soap wet! A child that was either a pain in the neck or gave me a lump in my throat. A child who could not understand why anyone would give away a perfectly good dog or kitten. Or walk past a person in need of help. And so I have gratefully accepted her invitation to dinner and will silently remember all that have touched my life in a profound way that are no longer here in body to celebrate this day with me.

Thinkinf of you all as you go through another day.

Love, Kate

[daveydow1]

Hi to all Indigos......just stopping in. I have been having some

dental problems and not feeling up to par.

Carol----I sure hope that you can get your dental problems fixed

up soon. I'm so glad that your fibromyalgia didn't flare up on you

when your dear sweetheart, Ralph, was in his last times. As you say......dentist's bills

add up to lots of expense. I hate to see my bill with all the visits, root canal work, x-rays,

etc. Oh well.....what choice does one have, huh? Good luck.

So very sorry to see all the new parents here at BI, but glad that

you have found your way to this site. Angelsmom,...Banu....Qsmom..

Allysonsmom...(forgive me if I've missed anyone). Sending thoughts

and prayers for peace and comfort.

Dee----Very rainy & gloomy around here. Did have a nice couple of days

though. Chestnuts are falling all over the backyard, which causes all

the deer to come & help themselves to the feast....they love the chestnuts.

Kate-----Good to see your post, and thanks so much for posting the

poem "I Lost My Child Today". Such true and heartfelt words

PEACE AND TRANQUILITY TO ALL INDIGOS.

Davey&Lisasmom, Sherry

[rlolheiser]

so much sadness mixed with glimmers of happiness. I am sorry I missed so many important dates. My thoughts are never far from you, I think of you each day and wonder how your doing. Even to those I haven't spoken with I send out thoughts and prayers and talk to all the angels.

I have been really busy lately, been on the phone a lot with JaBoa's mom. It has been a hard fight, but I finally have her in a rehab. One that she had to choose to be. she didn't want to go, and I told her I give up. I can't keep fighting for her to get the help she needs, if she wants to be a mom she will straighten out and do it, and the first step was going to get help cause she can't be a mom on drugs.

Yesterday, I drove her, Sena, my mom to another city, and we have her there, I kept Sena home from school as I thought seeing mom go into this place would do her heart good, and I still feel so, she finally sees that mom is going to fight for her. We don't know how long she will be there, It is done at a pace that one sets for themselves. I feel there is finally hope to get my daughter back. I think the angels are smiling with our JaBoa.

Now I dig my heels in to fight for my grandson. It will be hard work, I already have a complaint signed against the social worker as she is trying to terminate parental rights, and told the courts no family has asked to care for him. I have tolerated many things, but can't tolerate such a lie.

I imagine I won't get on here to often, but I have having trouble on here now, nothing loads forever..(computers give me such a time) (maybe its the dial-up)

I will continue to think of you all, and I hope the days get easier for you to endure, all i can say is I keep my JaBoa with me everyday, I talk with her, and she gets me through a lot of hard times.

[rlolheiser]

JaBoa and her mom such happy memories

[JD's Mom, Becky]

Thanks to all of you that wrote and gave your support for our Jared's loss, (J.D.); His angelversary is tomorrow, but we went to the cemetery yesterday, as Monday was the 52 week .

Keep watching over us, Jared, we know we will be together again...

(My husband, Jerry, Me, and my daughter, Jasmine, and of course my angel, Jared in the background.)

[daveydow1]

Leah----Glad to see your post, and also the pic of Jaboa and her mom.

I do know what you mean about dial-up being so very slow...(I had it

for awhile, and Davey had it when he first got his computer ). It is

good news that your daughter is now in rehab, and this could just be

the time that she will find her way back to her family who loves her.

Sending prayers that she will succeed, though it will, no doubt, be

difficult. Also, I wish you success in gaining custody of your little

grandson, and for standing up to the social worker who is reporting

the facts all wrong. Peace to you & all the family.

JARED.......JARED........JD......SAYING YOUR NAME & REMEMBERING YOU,...

an angel in heaven.

Becky....Thanks for the lovely pic. I'm a day early, but don't know for sure if I'll be able to get

on BI tomorrow, and didn't want to miss dear JD's Angel Day. Bless him.

Davey&Lisasmom, Sherry

[briansdad]

I liked this so I thought I'd share

[JD's Mom, Becky]

Love this, Greg! I like the cross picture too. God bless you for being here on this site for so long. Thanks, Sherry for posting a remembrance to Jared. I appreciate all of you here so much!

I liked this so I thought I'd share

[ericasmom]

Sherry, so sorry that you are undergoing dental issues. I hate dental issues so I am sending you and Carol big energy to be clear and done with these.

My cold is a pain, i find it hard to get any air through my nose all day long...and this is while taking two different medications for my allergies so one would think...oh well. I am coughing now, just like my students so I am hoping that I will get a ton better very quickly so that I have my normal amount of energy.

Greg, I did not know that Paul Gaughan lost any children, but I have long loved that quote. thanks.

Becky, love the photo of the 4 of you. He is always with you.

Leah, so good to see your Girls today in that photo you posted. Thanks for sharing. Good luck with the social worker and custody of your GrandBoy.

[Jilly's mom]

Will be thinking of you and your family tomorrow Becky. May JD send you angel kisses and comfort.

[Angel'sSon]

Thanks to all of you that wrote and gave your support for our Jared's loss, (J.D.); His angelversary is tomorrow, but we went to the cemetery yesterday, as Monday was the 52 week .

Keep watching over us, Jared, we know we will be together again...

(My husband, Jerry, Me, and my daughter, Jasmine, and of course my angel, Jared in the background.)

A beautiful picture of your angel Jared!!!!