Loss of an Adult Child

[Jeff's Mom]

HAPPY HEAVENLY BIRTHDAY, DAVEY.

........... IN THE ARMS OF THE ANGELS.

Davey, like the wind you are unseen. Yet you surround your family with your love. Thinking of you Sherry and sending love and warm thoughts.

Kate

[ericasmom]

What a lovely photo Carol, I remember your fixing up some photos for folks. I was going to post last night Sherry, but thought I would post in the morning instead...then I let the day get away from me. I did however go for a peaceful lovely walk this morning after some very restorative sleep last night where I saw Eri in my dreams, felt her and woke so calm and rested. So I walked and the birds were chattering all over the place and the sky was a soft blue, soft and sweet. I thought, what a pretty morning and hoped you saw a pretty sky this morning.

[Lilys parents]

Thank you all for your posts, they have been very helpful with trying to handle the pain with losing our child. I have read everyone, every day, for almost two months. This is my first post . Our daughter Lily , passed unexpectedly away in her sleep on 7-29-12. They have told us they don't know why. Calling it undetermined, a SUD, which has also been very hard for us to except. Losing her and still not knowing why. Tomorrow would have been her 17th birthday , and I don't know what to expect. My wife is taking the day off just in case. We both are just still destroyed about losing her ! She was just 16, healthy, just going into her senior year, she wanted to be a nurse, and was just showing me the schools to choose from the day before. It just seems so unfair and still unbelievable , is it true ? Am I really really typing here? on this website about Loss of an Adult Child. I guess so , so it must be true. I just miss her so much! I am thankful to be able and share here , and know you all know how I feel.

Dad

[BrendaDup59]

Thank you all for your posts, they have been very helpful with trying to handle the pain with losing our child. I have read everyone, every day, for almost two months. This is my first post . Our daughter Lily , passed unexpectedly away in her sleep on 7-29-12. They have told us they don't know why. Calling it undetermined, a SUD, which has also been very hard for us to except. Losing her and still not knowing why. Tomorrow would have been her 17th birthday , and I don't know what to expect. My wife is taking the day off just in case. We both are just still destroyed about losing her ! She was just 16, healthy, just going into her senior year, she wanted to be a nurse, and was just showing me the schools to choose from the day before. It just seems so unfair and still unbelievable , is it true ? Am I really really typing here? on this website about Loss of an Adult Child. I guess so , so it must be true. I just miss her so much! I am thankful to be able and share here , and know you all know how I feel.

Dad

So very sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter, I lost my 32 year old son to a motorcycle accident 6 months ago, St. Patrick's Day the worst day of my life, he was my oldest a husband and father to 6 , I am sad you have to be here but this is a wonderful place , wonderful people who all get your pain and hurt, some days are worse then others for me today was a bad day he was in my every thought. I hope you will come back and tell us about her. My thoughts and prayers are with you and everyone on here. Brenda

[Angel'sSon]

Hang On Angel's son. You are brand new to this path even though it is an unthinkable amount of days without your Boy. We begin to feel like soldiers, we have gone through too much and know that we cannot change what has happened but we are still marching, we still are here. All we can tell you at this juncture is to hang on and know that the long days and nights of this time will one day deliver you to a way to live in YOUR SON"S light.

Sherry, I think of all these new to this loss and remember meeting you here nine years ago. I am grateful for your comfort along this time.

My son has been gone 6 weeks today and it seems like yesterday when I got the news. Everyday, re-living the funeral and wanting him back. These are definitely long days and nights. Seems worse each day. I want so bad to live my life thinking about the good times, laugh and share the memories. I have to force myself to smile, much less laugh!! My time is consumed of reading about different people on here and how they lost their loved ones. Just knowing I'm not alone!!! Another day gone and another one to face!!!

[Angel'sSon]

Thank you all for your posts, they have been very helpful with trying to handle the pain with losing our child. I have read everyone, every day, for almost two months. This is my first post . Our daughter Lily , passed unexpectedly away in her sleep on 7-29-12. They have told us they don't know why. Calling it undetermined, a SUD, which has also been very hard for us to except. Losing her and still not knowing why. Tomorrow would have been her 17th birthday , and I don't know what to expect. My wife is taking the day off just in case. We both are just still destroyed about losing her ! She was just 16, healthy, just going into her senior year, she wanted to be a nurse, and was just showing me the schools to choose from the day before. It just seems so unfair and still unbelievable , is it true ? Am I really really typing here? on this website about Loss of an Adult Child. I guess so , so it must be true. I just miss her so much! I am thankful to be able and share here , and know you all know how I feel.

Dad

Lilys parents,,,Today is 6 weeks since my son passed away. He was 30 yrs. old and my best friend. The why of it hurts, just not knowing!!! So sorry for your loss of Lily!!! We are here for the same reason, to share our loved ones and realize that we aren't alone. It is unfair for this to happen. I live in a daze and just wanting my son back. I want to wake up from this nightmare and it will all be ok. It's not going to happen. I feel like I'm in a world of my own just thinking about my son and nothing else. I'm glad you posted here. I was hesitant at first, but after reading some of the posts I decided to respond and I'm glad I did. I don't know when my pain will end, so it's one day to the next and just getting through it the best that I can. I know it's going to be harder on you and your wife facing Lily's birthday, no one can tell you different. I can just say, keep posting!!!!

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[JD's Mom, Becky]

Thinking of you Sherry, I hope you felt his presence as you reflected yesterday! Sorry to be late in posting, but I have been in a fog with my Jared's 1 year date looming.

HAPPY HEAVENLY BIRTHDAY, DAVEY.

........... IN THE ARMS OF THE ANGELS.

[beebedon]

Hi Lily's Dad

I too have not posted on this board, but read it everyday as it gives me much comfort and support. Your story prompted me to post as like you I lost my sweet 17 year old son Christopher suddenly in his sleep as well. My healthy, happy smiling boy simply went to bed and didn't wake up. We too had many questions on what happened as they first told us that he passed from pneumonia since he had blood in his lungs. My husband and I knew this was not the case as Chris had not been sick. Actually the night before he was running around playing the WII with my husband full of energy. Everyone I spoke with including many doctors told us that it sounded like a cardiac event not pneumonia. It took us 6 long months but we were able to finally find out that he had an abnormal coronary artery that caused a sudden cardiac event. The artery was so small they would have never detected it.. I know how important these answers are. I am a bit further along than you, we lost Chris on February 21, 2011 but even after 19 months the loss and pain are immense. I am so very deeply for your loss of your beautiful Lily. I hope that his board can offer you both comfort and hope.

Christopher's mom

[westleysmom]

Sherry-So sorry that I missed DAVEY's Birthday. I hope that you felt his presence and had wonderful memories of the day he was born. You and Dee and all other long-time members give me hope that someday memories will be less painful and more likely to bring a smile than tears, or at least a smile with the tears. My heart to you.

Carol-What a sweet picture of Davey and so thoughtful of you to post it. I hope that you are doing as well as you can. Hugs to you.

Kate-I hope you are still having nice weather and doing okay.

Just checking in, so sorry to see new people here, but glad that you have found a place where everybody "gets it." It has helped me so much to have these guys to talk to during the last two years. I didn't find the site until my son Westley had been gone for nearly 6 months, but was so glad to find a place where I didn't feel like an outsider.

[hotrod]

HAPPY HEAVENLY BIRTHDAY DAVEY

TOUCH MOM AND DAD WITH YOUR GENTLE SPIRIT

CAROL THAT PICTURE OF DAVEY IS PRICELESS THANK YOU I STILL HAVE THE ONE YOU DID FOR ME OF STEPHEN IT IS FRAMED ON HIS DESK.

I LOVE THIS INDIGO FAMILY

[BrendaDup59]

So Sorry Sherry I missed writing to you ,

Happy Heavenly Birthday Davey

[westleysmom]

Lily's Dad and Christopher's Mom-My son Westley died in his sleep as well and since it happened in January 2010, I have heard it more often than I would have ever dreamed. I'm so sorry for your losses that were so sudden and devastating.

Becky-Thinking of you as Jared's angel day comes. The days leading up are usually worse for me than the actual day, but that first one was horribly difficult for me. You are in my thoughts.

Betty-Always good to see your Stephen and know that you are doing okay.

[westleysmom]

Lily's Parents-You are both in my thoughts on this day that used to be so happy and full of life, Lily's Birthday. My heart to you both as you make your way through it and I hope you can feel Lily's presence all day today and every day.

[JD's Mom, Becky]

Happy Heavenly Birthday, Liliana!! Touch your parents and let them know you are near.

Such a beautiful girl!

Lily's Parents-You are both in my thoughts on this day that used to be so happy and full of life, Lily's Birthday. My heart to you both as you make your way through it and I hope you can feel Lily's presence all day today and every day.

[BrendaDup59]

Happy Heavenly Birthday Lily...

[JD's Mom, Becky]

I wrote you a message on your profile, as we lost our sons within 1 month of each other last year. I have also wondered about the "medium" thing, as I long so much to hear something from my child. Everything reminds me of him, and I do feel like we have had some "signs", like our alarm for his window which will go off every now and then, with nobody in his room or touching the window, and just feel like he is watching over us, but how I would love to hear his voice.

I will be thinking of you and your family this next week.

Hi there. Haven't posted since July. Just wanted to still be connected. I am still here and check in without posting from time to time. It's still comforting to come and read/identify with all of you. Only we can truly understand one another. I am sorry to see newbies....... Just reminds I am not the only one in the world dealing with pain of loss. My oldest son died Novemer 5 2011. Life hasn't been the same since. What are your thoughts on Theresa from the show "Long Island Medium"? I am seriously thinking of going to a show, but don't want to do the "wrong thing" according to scripture. She seems to give so much comfort and mentions God. Any thoughts?

[briansdad]

Here is another picture of my sons baby. Not much of a baby anymore.

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[mysonrich]

Sherry, knowing that the spirit of Davey lives on in all that we see, feel, dream and grow. He is near.

[mysonrich]

A heaven sent Happy Birthday Lily.

Lily's dad, I am so sorry for the reason that you are here,the loss of your beautiful daughter. gather here with others that have lost our greatest gifts,may you continue to come and sit a spell. In sharing, we learn to take out first steps.

My son,Richard,died at age 20 from Cardiac Dysrthythmia, also in his sleep.

I have been adjusting my dear indigo friends. I think things are starting to go in the right direction but in doing this, taking yet another road, I have not found the strength in myself to pull up any thing I felt was helpful. I will read,catch up and be back around.

To our newbies, I am sorry that you had to seek out such as place but know, this is a compassionate,feeling group which is always open, listening and caring.<br clear="all">

[westleysmom]

I had a hard time finding the Loss of Adult Child after they changed it so I thought I would post something and see if it moves it to the front page. If it doesn't, I found it on the very last page of topics, but if it doesn't, you may not even see this. I hope it works because I know how much we all need to be able to be here. This is going to take some getting used to.

[westleysmom]

Yay, it seems to have worked! Oh, forgot to say hey to Betsy, good to see Rich here today.

[ericasmom]

Hey, have not been here all day due to extreme busy day with a walking field trip to the conservatory and the firehouse and the park for a picnic. SO what gives? It changed, were we aware of a change coming? I sure wasn't.

New folks here, I will write more later, but for now know that my heart is aching for you, LIly's dad and C Chris' family. Hang on please.

[ericasmom]

Well hello to Betsy, and Betty, adn Rhonda, and Greg, it is so good to see your names and your Child's faces here today.

Betsy, may this new road be one that is filled with goodness, nice surprises, gentle breezes, and good good people.

Betty, was the photo that Carol fixed for you the one of Stephen and a horse? Your animal loving Boy.

Rhonda, how have you been? How is CJ, have I remembered correctly? How are you feeling these days?

Becky, I know that the anniversary is looming, it becomes so big as it approaches that usually, the actual date is not as painful as those days preceding. One year is a very painful mark of time and we are all around you as you face it. So is your Boy, all around you rooting for the good work you are doing to try to prevent this sad act from happening again.

Greg, your Grandgirl is growing up--she is very pretty and looks to be a serious athelete. You must be proud of her. How old is she now?

Prayers to those new to this terrible pain. I wish noone else ever had to share it with us.

[cas1984]

Rachael, I was just talking to someone else on here about seeking a medium. I don't think God would think of it as being wrong. I did years back and I could not believe that the things she was saying was so correct. With my son being gone a little over a month now. I want the why did he shoot himself answered. He was such a family man and had everything going for him. I was very close to my son and it hurts so bad. I'm still in a daze about what happened and It hurts so bad!!!! My family is telling my I need to get on with my life!!!! Leave me alone and let me greive. That's the way I see it!!!!

[cas1984]

I want to see a medium too I been reading John Edwards and 6 yrs ago when my roommate passed in his sleep on my bed at the foot of my bed we used to watch John Edwards seminars..If u purchase one of his books and read it as deeply as I did that alone will provide alot more comfort than any family or friend can ever now lisa williams regardless of her look punk look she has a son we got pictures cus I had my tiny pom in my purse and at the end of the readings her son about 7 6 yrs ago wanted to hold my puppy...John Edwards is expensive now but to me to get some answers wud so be worth it maybe I cud actually get some peace knowing if hes ok not in another dimension limbo scared as I wud be if he knows hes dead..Hope u do consult a well known medium.. I dont wish my feeling & fears tragedy depression on anybody..Cassidys Mama

[Angel'sSon]

I used to watch John Edwards and loved it. I'd give almost anything to have a private reading with him. I had a reading with a medium years back and the things she told me, there's no way she could ever know!! I would like have all the why's answered. Which may never, ever happen!!! Getting out of bed each day is becoming a struggle. Then having all day to think about my son and nothing else!! It just hurts so bad and getting worse as each day goes on. 6 weeks since my son passed away. God Why!!!!!

[ericasmom]

I know that you want to know why? But why is not for us to really fully know. As I have said, and I apologize if I am repetitious, asking how is a more answerable question than why. How do we find a way to get through the hardest days of our lives, finding out how to work again, how to interact with friends and family again when we don't really want to...the question of why is not anything in our realm, the how, while it does not feel something you can answer now, you will one day be able to. The ultimate question after you have found your footing is, how do we live in the light that our Baby left us? How do we make the most of their light and make them proud? How do we stand tall where they no longer can?

[Angel'sSon]

Dee, I've been looking at all of the why's instead of How!!! In all my thoughts it's been Why this and why that!!! I don't think HOW has entered my mind!! You made good sense to me...Thanks!!!!!

[Lilys parents]

Happy Birthday my beautiful baby Liliana. You would be 17 today . WOW.... Went to the cemetery with a group of your friends and family. Had a balloon release and reminisced with all till the sprinklers came on. All very special and wet... All returned to the house , all her friends and family ...boy this has been tough, all the faces, pictures, memories... Trying to be strong , and to continue down this new direction of my life, missing my baby and trying to still function . Iv been in just a cloud , still . Reality??!?!

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[ericasmom]

The gathering at the cemetery sounds powerful and loving, love that the sprinklers came on, Lily probably laughing. Staying strong...you will, more than you know, and when you ask yourself if you are feeling weak, yes, we do feel weak, but anyone who lives one day beyond thier Child is STRONG, way stronger than we ever really knew or wanted to know. Be kind to yourself, that is part of this, doing for YOU what your Child would hope.

[JD's Mom, Becky]

Got this yesterday, a reply to a letter that I sent months ago, pleading for help with the speed limit, and lack of alcohol laws here. I am happy to have a reply at all, but I wasn't asking for sympathy, I was asking for help!

Vice President Biden sent this one, much more personal, and arrived in the mail, not email.

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[Vijayabanu]

Hi JDs mom! This is kiran's mom Banu here.. Hope u r able to handle the oncoming day with grace and poise...dwell in th thought of yr angel kid. I myself lost my younger son on 16/6/2012... Went to help his friend from drowningnand he himself along with his friend...also another 20 year old angel ...105 days to this day..I m dazed...going numb..crying...weeping.. purposeless... Meaning less life...lets take one day at a time..

[tobyfreefoot]

Becky i copied your picture about texting and am going to put it on my facebook page. thank you for sharing and so nice to see prez and vp wrote to you.

haven't figured this new site format out yet...

happy birthday late DAVEY!!

you too LILIANA!!

sorry haven't been on much to put a hand out to all of you new people. please know i am terribly sorry you are here and hope we can offer you comfort and a place to express all you are going through

[JD's Mom, Becky]

I thought I was managing pretty well, until just a bit ago, I was trying to call my husband, to see when he would be back home, as he had a meeting at Fort Meade today, regarding his military retirement. When I called, I could only hear the lecture going on in the background, and he couldn't hear me. That is exactly what happened the night that Jared was hit and I was trying desperately to reach my husband, who was at the university at a lecture, and I could hear the lecturer speaking, but couldn't get Jerry's attention. OMG, crying as I type this, it took me right back to that moment in time, when I didn't yet know, but wanted Jerry to know there had been an accident and I couldn't find Jared. It was such an awful feeling, and yet I was more in control that night in keeping on trying to reach him and calling back and forth with my daughter, who was out riding around town trying to see if anyone had seen Jared.

Why did this have to happen today? I was already dreading Monday, now I feel like I am right there again. This year, just like last year, we had a home football game the Saturday before that dreadful night, and all today, I had been doing things to get ready for tomorrow's games. Trying to place that phonecall just now, and the result have just knocked me for a loop!

The worse is, that now when I cry, because of my recent surgery on my neck, it feels like I am choking to death, and that feeling in and of itself takes me to a whole new level of emotions, thinking about him, with nobody there to comfort him, or help him, choking on his own blood as he lay face down on that roadway. God, if this isn't over soon, and there isn't some sort of justice, I think I am going to lose my mind.

I am sorry, but I am here by myself today, and I just got completely overwhelmed. I cannot hate, I cannot hate, because it will keep me from seeing my precious boy again. God help me.

Thanks, Gretchen, for spreading the word about texting and driving! If only people would realize how quickly life can change due to a moment of inattentiveness, I would hope they would make better decisions.

Banu, thanks for your support, and you hang on and keep coming here. Nothing will ever be the same as it was before we lost our precious children, we know that better than anyone. I too, am hoping and holding on to the words of those here that tell us that there will be brighter tomorrows, that there will be a time when we aren't haunted by the devastation of their loss, and can remember the sweetness and light they brought to our lives

[westleysmom]

Becky-So sorry that happened, it is amazing how you can be doing fine and then something just happens that takes you right back to that moment when you went from not knowing to knowing the unthinkable has happened, really happened and you can't un-know it and you can't un-happen it. Oh to be able to turn back time. That first anniversary is so very hard, you will be in my thoughts as it comes.

Banu-I'm so sorry for your loss, your Kiran sounds like a brave and loyal friend and I'm sure you miss him terribly. The first weeks and months are so difficult to get through. My son Westley was 20 years old when he died in January 2010, he would have been 21 in less than a week. I still miss him every moment of every day, as we all miss our precious babies. He was my younger child too and I went suddenly to being an empty-nester. One day at a time? for me at the very first it seemed I had to take it a breath at a time because it was so hard to breathe, much less find any reason to live. I didn't come here until that summer, but it has been such a help to me to be able to talk about things with people who really understand. I hope it will help you as well, I wouldn't wish the pain we feel on anybody.

Dee-CJ is doing okay, but we still have our struggles with him. Thanks for asking. I'm doing okay I guess, we've been working on our house some and that has been exciting in a very expensive kind of way(!) Sometimes I think I just do things to distract myself but I don't suppose there's anything wrong with that, is there? I hope your school year is going okay. My husband just came by and we went to see Landing Ship Tank or LST as they called it, like they used on D-Day that is docked in our river here. It is usually in Evansville, Indiana, but goes out and does tours. My Daddy was on an aircraft carrier during WWII, so it was very interesting to me. This kind of ship is not nearly as big as the one he was on the USS Franklin, but it was pretty big looking in the river. They had pictures and videos of some of the action that ships like this one saw during the wars, pretty amazing.

[shorty16]

WOW, new site - How Cool!!!

Lily's mom, I could not help but notice your daughter is about the same age as my son, Brian when he died 6-19-2008 in a car crash.

Tough, tough days, their birthdays!!! Brian would have been 21 this year. I am sending warm thoughts your way!!

Colleen, Brian's Mother 4ever

[ericasmom]

WOW!!!Becky, that letter, rather those letters, how cool, Jared letting you know during these days that lead you to the hardest date, that things are moving forward, that others are hearing you, responding to the plea for justice and judgement that will allow safer roads through your town and all of ours. Good for you. Though I do understand that immediate fall backward in time feeling as well, that moment of being placed back almost a year to the horror that was building. Sometimes, I think we get thrown back in order to see how far we have traveled to get to today. I am holding your hand and handing you a tissue or ten.

Banu, a young man, only 18 years old was found in the water here in the Chicagoland area today, he had left a party on Saturday night, got disoriented and fell in the harbor. His family is from New York but originally from India. This young man was attending Northwestern University pre-med. THere have been search teams for days and now this sad news. I thought of you, the horror of finding such news and how one finds balance again in their lives. I can only say that you will, somehow you will but it is a new balance, it is filled with a different sense of things. You are not long on this road even though your life from before this tragedy seems a lifetime ago. Be kind to yourself, know that your Boy is smiling on you as you find your way.

[daveydow1]

Hello to all my Indigo friends.......

Thanks to each and every one for Birthday wishes for Davey. I

appreciate your thoughts & wishes so very much. Peace to all.

I like the new format.!! What a surprise.

Carol----

Thank you for posting David's pic as a 4 yr-old., and for

birthday wishes. I plan to get an enlargement of the enhanced

pic that you made for me. I have PhotoShop on my computer,

but don't have much skill with it. Wanted to take a course at

the local career center on it, but.....way too expensive since

it was to be quite in-depth. Hope that you are doing ok....my

heart is with you, friend.

Kate---Hope your nice fall weather is holding out.

Dee---Your walk sounds just so good for the soul,....with all the

birds there to greet you. Fall is a very lovely time of year. I've

been 'under the weather' with dental problems (again). Had to

have a root canal. Will be going back Mon. 10/1 to finish it up.

I've had them done before, but this time it was particularly

painful, and I'm running around with a pretty sore jaw. It rained

all day yesterday....off & on. I just stayed home and watched old

movies and drank tea. So good that you had a lovely dream of

ERi. Those dreams, when they come to us, are such treasures,

I know. Gives peace to know that they are ok.

Betsy-----Good to see Rich's handsome smile.

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, LILY

.

Becky----I, so , know what you mean about wishing for a sign/dream

of your dear JD. I have found that these signs come when we least

expect them, and when they do come along.....we are so grateful

to see that we are indeed getting a message of love. So nice that

you received the letters from the White House.

Brenda, Betty, Rhonda, Lora-----Thanks for your kind wishes. Friends

at BI are always here, and I appreciate everyone's kindness.

WISHING PEACE, COMFORT, AND SWEET DREAMS FOR ALL INDIGOS

.

Davey&Lisasmom, Sherry

[hotrod]

Hi Indigos

I too had a difficult time finding you all. Glad I did . All I wanted to say is that I miss each one and that you are all in my thoughts and prayers.

Rhonda, Dee, Betsy, Coleen, Lorri, Sherry, Carol, Leah, Karen, Sue, Susannah, Beth , and all the Indigos.I have missed

Be well and thank goodness we are not alone. ,

[Angel'sSon]

Hi JDs mom! This is kiran's mom Banu here.. Hope u r able to handle the oncoming day with grace and poise...dwell in th thought of yr angel kid. I myself lost my younger son on 16/6/2012... Went to help his friend from drowningnand he himself along with his friend...also another 20 year old angel ...105 days to this day..I m dazed...going numb..crying...weeping.. purposeless... Meaning less life...lets take one day at a time..

Banu, 6 weeks ago, I lost my son. All of the emotions that you have are what I'm going thru!! Today, it's been mostly anger. I'm angry that I can't get past my son being gone. I know it's going to take time. I see other people laughing and having fun. It angers me because I can't even to begin to do that. Angry that my son is gone and I want him here. Angry that members of my family don't understand why I can't get out and try to enjoy my life. Angry because I don't know why my son shot himself. Like you said, one day at a time!!!!

[Angel'sSon]

Happy Birthday my beautiful baby Liliana. You would be 17 today . WOW.... Went to the cemetery with a group of your friends and family. Had a balloon release and reminisced with all till the sprinklers came on. All very special and wet... All returned to the house , all her friends and family ...boy this has been tough, all the faces, pictures, memories... Trying to be strong , and to continue down this new direction of my life, missing my baby and trying to still function . Iv been in just a cloud , still . Reality??!?!

My son has been gone for 6 weeks and I am still struggling with all the emotions. You have really been strong with today being your Lily's birthday. I honestly don't think that I could have done it. Reality is the word!!! I have mostly anger in me today and being in a daze. This is so hard losing a child and just trying to get through the day!! One day at a time!!!!

[Angel'sSon]

I thought I was managing pretty well, until just a bit ago, I was trying to call my husband, to see when he would be back home, as he had a meeting at Fort Meade today, regarding his military retirement. When I called, I could only hear the lecture going on in the background, and he couldn't hear me. That is exactly what happened the night that Jared was hit and I was trying desperately to reach my husband, who was at the university at a lecture, and I could hear the lecturer speaking, but couldn't get Jerry's attention. OMG, crying as I type this, it took me right back to that moment in time, when I didn't yet know, but wanted Jerry to know there had been an accident and I couldn't find Jared. It was such an awful feeling, and yet I was more in control that night in keeping on trying to reach him and calling back and forth with my daughter, who was out riding around town trying to see if anyone had seen Jared.

Why did this have to happen today? I was already dreading Monday, now I feel like I am right there again. This year, just like last year, we had a home football game the Saturday before that dreadful night, and all today, I had been doing things to get ready for tomorrow's games. Trying to place that phonecall just now, and the result have just knocked me for a loop!

The worse is, that now when I cry, because of my recent surgery on my neck, it feels like I am choking to death, and that feeling in and of itself takes me to a whole new level of emotions, thinking about him, with nobody there to comfort him, or help him, choking on his own blood as he lay face down on that roadway. God, if this isn't over soon, and there isn't some sort of justice, I think I am going to lose my mind.

I am sorry, but I am here by myself today, and I just got completely overwhelmed. I cannot hate, I cannot hate, because it will keep me from seeing my precious boy again. God help me.

Thanks, Gretchen, for spreading the word about texting and driving! If only people would realize how quickly life can change due to a moment of inattentiveness, I would hope they would make better decisions.

Banu, thanks for your support, and you hang on and keep coming here. Nothing will ever be the same as it was before we lost our precious children, we know that better than anyone. I too, am hoping and holding on to the words of those here that tell us that there will be brighter tomorrows, that there will be a time when we aren't haunted by the devastation of their loss, and can remember the sweetness and light they brought to our lives

I lost my son 6 weeks ago and I'm full of emotions, up and down. He was my best friend. You are right, nothing will ever be the same. My son was my best friend. I feel angry at everything today. I want so bad to think about the good times with my son, but they aren't there. the memory during when he passed away still haunts me everyday. I hate to know what each day will bring as far as emotions. I don't think I'm helping you out here, I just needed to write to you!!!!!

[Angel'sSon]

I thought I was managing pretty well, until just a bit ago, I was trying to call my husband, to see when he would be back home, as he had a meeting at Fort Meade today, regarding his military retirement. When I called, I could only hear the lecture going on in the background, and he couldn't hear me. That is exactly what happened the night that Jared was hit and I was trying desperately to reach my husband, who was at the university at a lecture, and I could hear the lecturer speaking, but couldn't get Jerry's attention. OMG, crying as I type this, it took me right back to that moment in time, when I didn't yet know, but wanted Jerry to know there had been an accident and I couldn't find Jared. It was such an awful feeling, and yet I was more in control that night in keeping on trying to reach him and calling back and forth with my daughter, who was out riding around town trying to see if anyone had seen Jared.

Why did this have to happen today? I was already dreading Monday, now I feel like I am right there again. This year, just like last year, we had a home football game the Saturday before that dreadful night, and all today, I had been doing things to get ready for tomorrow's games. Trying to place that phonecall just now, and the result have just knocked me for a loop!

The worse is, that now when I cry, because of my recent surgery on my neck, it feels like I am choking to death, and that feeling in and of itself takes me to a whole new level of emotions, thinking about him, with nobody there to comfort him, or help him, choking on his own blood as he lay face down on that roadway. God, if this isn't over soon, and there isn't some sort of justice, I think I am going to lose my mind.

I am sorry, but I am here by myself today, and I just got completely overwhelmed. I cannot hate, I cannot hate, because it will keep me from seeing my precious boy again. God help me.

Thanks, Gretchen, for spreading the word about texting and driving! If only people would realize how quickly life can change due to a moment of inattentiveness, I would hope they would make better decisions.

Banu, thanks for your support, and you hang on and keep coming here. Nothing will ever be the same as it was before we lost our precious children, we know that better than anyone. I too, am hoping and holding on to the words of those here that tell us that there will be brighter tomorrows, that there will be a time when we aren't haunted by the devastation of their loss, and can remember the sweetness and light they brought to our lives

I lost my son 6 weeks ago and I'm full of emotions, up and down. He was my best friend. You are right, nothing will ever be the same. My son was my best friend. I feel angry at everything today. I want so bad to think about the good times with my son, but they aren't there. the memory during when he passed away still haunts me everyday. I hate to know what each day will bring as far as emotions. I don't think I'm helping you out here, I just needed to write to you!!!!!

[Angel'sSon]

I thought I was managing pretty well, until just a bit ago, I was trying to call my husband, to see when he would be back home, as he had a meeting at Fort Meade today, regarding his military retirement. When I called, I could only hear the lecture going on in the background, and he couldn't hear me. That is exactly what happened the night that Jared was hit and I was trying desperately to reach my husband, who was at the university at a lecture, and I could hear the lecturer speaking, but couldn't get Jerry's attention. OMG, crying as I type this, it took me right back to that moment in time, when I didn't yet know, but wanted Jerry to know there had been an accident and I couldn't find Jared. It was such an awful feeling, and yet I was more in control that night in keeping on trying to reach him and calling back and forth with my daughter, who was out riding around town trying to see if anyone had seen Jared.

Why did this have to happen today? I was already dreading Monday, now I feel like I am right there again. This year, just like last year, we had a home football game the Saturday before that dreadful night, and all today, I had been doing things to get ready for tomorrow's games. Trying to place that phonecall just now, and the result have just knocked me for a loop!

The worse is, that now when I cry, because of my recent surgery on my neck, it feels like I am choking to death, and that feeling in and of itself takes me to a whole new level of emotions, thinking about him, with nobody there to comfort him, or help him, choking on his own blood as he lay face down on that roadway. God, if this isn't over soon, and there isn't some sort of justice, I think I am going to lose my mind.

I am sorry, but I am here by myself today, and I just got completely overwhelmed. I cannot hate, I cannot hate, because it will keep me from seeing my precious boy again. God help me.

Thanks, Gretchen, for spreading the word about texting and driving! If only people would realize how quickly life can change due to a moment of inattentiveness, I would hope they would make better decisions.

Banu, thanks for your support, and you hang on and keep coming here. Nothing will ever be the same as it was before we lost our precious children, we know that better than anyone. I too, am hoping and holding on to the words of those here that tell us that there will be brighter tomorrows, that there will be a time when we aren't haunted by the devastation of their loss, and can remember the sweetness and light they brought to our lives

I lost my son 6 weeks ago and I'm full of emotions, up and down. He was my best friend. You are right, nothing will ever be the same. My son was my best friend. I feel angry at everything today. I want so bad to think about the good times with my son, but they aren't there. the memory during when he passed away still haunts me everyday. I hate to know what each day will bring as far as emotions. I don't think I'm helping you out here, I just needed to write to you!!!!!