Loss of an Adult Child

[rlolheiser]

It has started my friends. I have my daughter here and two grandchildren. Now I wait for the drama. I explained to my daughter now that I know all of the things that have been going on, I can't show mercy to this man when he shows up and I know he will show up. I asked her if her children were more important to her than this man ans she told me yes, so I told her I was sure I will be doing things that make her mad at me. The babies are the most important people here. them and my boy.. I will not take any chances with anything. I called the deputy and told them, that there may be calls from my home.. and what it would be. Please don't stop praying yet. I am afraid.. I can admit that to you.. my husband is out of town with my son and it is must mom, me and them.

I have to go, I am being screamed for.. but it is so nice to be screamed for by little ones :-)

Thank you again for all your care and concern.. I owe you all so much.. you give me strength!

Leah/JaBoa's grandma

[heartbeataway]

When Kim was here, she made a decoration for Mike's site at the cemetary...we have a shepherd's hook beside the bench because we can't put anything on the ground. It is three long strands of beads, macrame'd onto a 2" ring, one ends with a wooden peace symbol, one ends with a wooden cross, and one ends with a beautiful green stone from the earth. In the middle of one strand, she put beads that spelled "MIKE" and one of the others, she put beads that spelled "ALWAYS"...on one of the strands she intertwined some beads of the rastafarian colors because that is what he liked. I will try to take a picture and post it. I think I need to spray it with varnish or something to keep it from being destroyed by the weather. I am just praying that it doesn't "walk away"...though we haven't had any trouble yet.

Marine grade polyurethane is suppose to keep outdoor things in good shape ......

Glad that Ralph is continuing to heal.

[josephsmom90]

Everything is so small, so shallow, nothing that I see around me is of any great importance anymore. I avoid people. I don’t want to talk to anyone and at the same time I want to spare them from talking to me. If I don’t have something to say that is of any depth, meaning, I don’t want to talk. Fun, entertainment, and human/life pleasures are worthless in my sight right now. I don’t even care to eat, though I do. I don’t know what stage I am in. I was almost frantic when Michael didn’t text me for a few hours today. He and his dad are on their way to Wyoming from North Carolina and knowing how his father text’s when he is driving it scared me, not hearing from him. He was asleep. Is this how it is? Or is it magnified because Michael got into that wreck? One more week! Then I have to put up with Christmas travel to Cancun, oh that outtta be a joy! NOT!

I can’t even watch a movie, I did that last night. August Rush was the title, a good movie about an orphan boy who is gifted with music and is convinced his parents are alive. He sets out to look for them by following the music. Of course I thought of Joseph, and recall his bright shiny face when watching him on the TBI interview. I’d forgotten he’d wanted to go to Italy to study for Architectural Engineering. His dad was not very for it, $$$$$$ was what Steve saw, guaranteed!! Joseph could have done it on scholarships, I’m positive of that! Instead, he felt he needed his twin, so he went to him, and ended up never coming back..What is it with them going to Wyoming and NEVER coming back??? I cried so much I woke with swollen eyes, looked like a monster! People that are acquainted with me pretend like the don’t see me in the store, I’ve never been rude to them, oh I’ve been fairly open about my faith, hope and trust… Why am I hated? I don’t go around hurting people, deliberately trying to do anything mean, I am very mindful of my tongue and don’t lash back, but turn the cheek. What am I doing WRONG? I want to run away and hide, I don’t want to come out anymore, I don’t want anyone to know me, I don’t want to do this life anymore. I am so tired.

Joseph was smart, intitally he was the 'nerd' in school. After he got out and around Daniel's friends, he saw that was no way to fit in. Fitting in was being crazy, you'd do anything, be the party dude and the craziest!! He found that enabled him to fit in and look where it took him. Acceptance and love by his family and a 'few' others was not enough... He's just gone, he's gone.

[hotrod]

Hi Indigos

Carol and Bonnie and Dee I do love the new picture of Mike , Jason and Eri on each of your avatars!! congras on changing. I think the instructions Carol and Susuannah gave to Sherry will help. It is confusing in the beginning but it looks as if we are all becoming Computr NERDS

Leah SO GLAD YOU ARE BACK HOME WITH THE LITTLE ONES!!! You are right in protecting the children and it is great that you have called in the Sherrif. I am really concerned and am praying for your peace

Elaine I understand where you are. Yes , nothing will ever feel the same again nor will it hold the importance it once did. We have entered a new unchartereed world and together we are trying to navigate thru the dark, dark waters. Keep on sharing here you are not alone.

Sherry Just take your time doing the change. I had a difficult time at first with my change and and then it just changed.!!!

Susannah what a wonderful experience running into the Fireman The Higher Powers are looking after you!!! I am so glad you found new pictures of Stephenie and think the new one in the avatar is perfect. By the way, I love it when you "Fly By" and then Turn your message into, "an Overnight Stay"

Betsy Good ideato move up the moving date and are on your way. Blessings to you and your new home :

Need to run Have not spelled check but do not care!!

Have a blessed night everyone

[4everjoeysmom]

Wow, Leah!! I am so proud of you! I am also concerned for all of your safety and well being. Prayers are in my heart and on my lips for all of you!!! xoxoxo

[briansdad]

Sherry - maybe I can help. Maybe. Left click on the down arrow by your name in the upper right corner of your screen. Left click on "my profile". About midway up the screen, on the right hand side, it will say edit my profile - left click. On the left side of your screen you will see a list of options; left click on "change avatar". Left click on "remove avatar" under Davey's picture. Kind of in the middle of the screen...lower and left...there will be a browse button. Upload from there and save changes.

Coincidence? I think not.

The kids and I are in the check out line in Wal Mart, behind two firemen. They introduce themselves to the kids. I used to rent to one of them, which I remembered. They told us which station they worked at....by Stephanie's crash site. I tell them my daughter died a year ago by their station. Both of them responded to her accident and remembered. I asked them why, if Stephanie died immediately, was she pronounced dead an hour later, at the hospital. They explained because they kept trying to save her, hoping...hoping. But, she had already bled out and there was no hope.

The children had more meaning to them when they found out they were Stephanie's children. I showed them a picture of Stephanie. I told them about the birds and the dream of her ascending into heaven getting brighter and brighter. The one was holding back tears. I told them this has been the most painful of experiences, but definitely the most spiritual. All while standing in line at the checkout. I didn't care whom else heard.

I thanked them for trying to save my daughter and thanked them for talking to me. He said, "No. Thank you for talking to us!"

Still rearranging furntiure and cleaning....Next I will paint the walls...when the kids start school.....

God love those guys. I wish I could talk to the guys who attended Brian

[lolynbo]

JUST PLAYED ELECTRONIC MONOPOLY WITH KODY,MONTY AND BROOKE....I WENT BROKE QUICK....MONTY GOT ALL THE $$$$$

NO RACING TOM NIGHT...THE MAN THAT OWNS THE TRACK, HIS DAUGHTER JORDAN DIED IN A CARWRECK 5 YRS AGO....AND TOM IS HER 22 BDAY...SHE DIED HER SR YR....SHE WAS A BEAUTFUL GIRL...KODY USE TO COME HOME AND SAY THE "GIRL THAT MAKES THE FUNNEL CAKES AT THE TRK IS PRETTY"...HE WAS ALL OF 8 OR 9...SO ANYWAYS..WITH THE HEAT AND HER ANGELVERSARY WE ARE CLOSED...SO WERE GONNA GO EAT @ A PLACE CALLED BABES...HOME COOKIN..

HOPE EVERYONE HAS A GREAT DAY...IM TRYING TO FIGURE OUT OHOW TO DO THIS NEW PAGE...I WILL GET IT SLOWLY..

[nicksdad]

Gerry....Thinking of you and your family today

[Guest msnher]

Carol I see you already gave Sherry directions. I didn't read that far. I read Ralph's update on Carepages. Another NOT coincidence with Ralph's anesthesiologist! Wow!

Thinking of Matthew's family with Dan. Sending light, love and peace. Just like the dove!

Elaine Yes. This is how it is. And, then it gets better. And, then it gets worse again. But, the better times will begin to last longer. Not being able to concentrate, right now, is so normal...in this new normal. Don't push yourself. I am an extrovert. But, when Stephanie died, I didn't want to be around anyone for several months. Be patient with yourself, Friend. I couldn't watch TV either...or be in public...I stayed on this site, in my grieving chair. I also watched what the stars were wearing on the red carpet. I could give a care about that, but it occupied my mind when I wasn't crying.

Leah Good Gravey! Things are moving fast! I am so proud of you! I'm glad you called the police and informed them what is going on. We still have extra patrol drive by our house. We still take all the extra precautions that began when the kids came to live with us. You're being very smart! I still ask for angels to protect your home and all its inhabitants!

Rhonda OMG!! I wrote almost the very same words you did at about the 7 month mark...about Jackie Kennedy saying if we fail raising our children, nothing else we do matters. It was Dee whom reminded me of the screwed up lives of the Kennedys! Why did I have them on such a high pedastal? You were/ARE a good mother!! Guilt and regret are a normal part of this freaking journey. And, I felt the same way about "all the back to school hullabaloo". Hang in there.

Betsy I don't know why, but when I read the moving truck was coming today, a burst of excitement "jumped" through my being. This is good. The move is good! Yep. No doubt about it. You're doing the right thing!

Betty It's SO good to see Stephen's face again! You have such a special place in my heart...probably because of your soft one (heart).

Kathy Congratulations to Barry on his weight loss! I hope the meeting at work today was what you hoped to hear. What kind of camp is Tavian attending? Forgive me if you've already said. That's what we do, don't we? Move on again! Moving on again can be so painful. And, then it gets better until it hurts again...Sending you hugs my "twin journey" partner!

Dee School starts on the 18th for us. I feel a bond with that school, now. I am as excited as the kids to see the teachers, principal and staff again! Our second grade teacher's cancer came back at the end of last year. I'm anxious to check on her. Jasmine's kindergarten teacher got married over the summer...excited for that, too. I hope YOU know how much you teachers are appreciated. Underpaid in dollars, but the rewards are huge in comparison to the impact you make on so many lives. Thank you for being a teacher!!

You wrote, "...however I am left feeling flat and emotional." Well said. Flat and emotional. I get it. I also respect that you give yourself permission to feel it. You might be right; Eri wouldn't want you to be sad. But, you didn't want her to die......so....I think she can handle you being sad.

Greg It certainly was a blessing to run into the firemen. I think it was "arranged" more for their benefit than mine.

Well...I'm loving my living room!! I'm even sitting in it, rather than my bed, as I type! I'm wrapped in my portable electric blanket and another "throw" on top of that. Kind of chilly out tonight.

This morning Jonathon cuddled with me in bed while I typed. Out of nowhere he asked me if I was married when I had all my babies. The answer was yes. He was quiet for quite a while and then he said, "You have a black grandson." (His biological father was black)..

I said "Yes, I do. And, I have two white grandsons. And, it doesn't mean a hill of beans!" He asked if he would get darker as he got older. I told him I didn't think so, but it doesn't matter if he does. He was quiet for a while longer and then said, "Barack Obama is black." And we went on to talk about the heart and mind of a person is all that matters....never to judge someone by the color of their skin.

The things kids think about. Very interesting.

I'm sure I've missed some posts, but my eyes are getting sleepy...

For all you new here, hang on!! This site saved me!

[ericasmom]

Leah, I am so glad that you alerted the sheriff to the possibilities of need. GOod for you for taking on such an important task as this. God help you have peaceful days and no arguments and fights. May this man simply wander away from you and your Daughter adn the Children. Prayers.

Can't read beyond today, so tired. I went out with my sisters Eileen and MaryAnne, and nieces Laura and Katie. WE sat adn laughed and talked after dinner tonight. It was a good good night. My body is aching as I worked in my classroom (98 degrees) for 6 hours. My hips and lower back are tired.

Rhonda, I love the quote you posted from Name all the Animals, it is a great book, though I hope it did not help to make you feel worse. THose monthly anniversasaries can really lay you out. They did me that first year. Less so the second year. And sometimes I just get knocked out from the total craziness of having lost my Daughter.

I think that that book and so many others that are well written, touch my heart in a way that is unexplainable. Here this stanger wrote a book and named all that was happening to me, how?

The author in that book is writing memoir, retelling the real scenes in her life when her Brother died.

So powerful.

Elaine, you hang on now, your Boys need you and so do many I am sure. YOu hang on because one day you will want your life to be just that, yours.One day you will feel less restless and more productive and more at peace.

My hopes with you all,

Love,

dee

[josephsmom90]

Leah,

Good for you. Will keep you and yours in my prayers. Peace

Elaine

[mikesmomrs]

Leah: I second that opinion...good for you....also, stay safe. Your daughter is blessed to have you by her side.

Elaine: the days of feeling the way you are feeling now are so very hard...we wonder if there is any reason for us to even be here...yet, we all know there is...or, in some cases, there are. We have those still here who love us and depend on us being here. I know that Michael is off on his own right now, but he will return, and when he does, he will need you. You feel depleted right now, and that is the normal for right now...that will change...we promise. Meantime, keep coming here, keep posting, keep allowing us to help you, and like all of us, one day you will find yourself posting to someone new to this the way that you are now "When those days were with me, this is how I handled them..." It will happen...it will.

It is 4:00 am, Saturday morning...6 days and 12 hours and 5 minutes until what would be Mike's 35th birthday...it is really stringing me out emotionally, and I expect it is likely because of the past few weeks...my emotional strength is depleted, I am SO tired...not the sleepy tired (though that, too), but the body tired...the kind that just hangs around your neck like a hundred pound weight and you feel it dragging on you wherever you go...Ralph and I were talking about Mike's birthday tonight, and how it seems impossible that he even COULD be 35, let alone that he even ISN'T and never will be, and how could it possibly be almost four years since we've seen him, heard him, and yet how could it ONLY be four years since we've seen him, heard him...It seems I've only just held him in my arms, just fed him, just put him to bed, just saw his first tooth, and just saw him get married, have a son, and I just saw him die...and yet all of it was a lifetime ago...a previous lifetime...one that is gone, but yet still is with me, every day, every moment, every breath... and he will never be 35...

thinking of all of you, and sending love and peace, carol mikesmomrs

[lostwoher]

Here to say your name:

Matthew Matt MaTTheW

[heartbeataway]

:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

How do we delete posts?

[heartbeataway]

Dropped pups off for grooming at 7 AM ...... earliest I've been up and out in quite some time! Can't wait to see them when I pick them up!

We may take Jay's Rubi to The Pinnacle today. It's a really pretty day. And it's suppose to be cooler today. Only mid-80's!!

[heartbeataway]

[ericasmom]

Carol, just wrote you a long post and when I tried to make it bigger and colorful, which apparently I still don't know how to do, I lost the post. Suffiice it to say that your whole summer has been spent with worry for Ralph, for Cathi, and in dealing with doctors, visits, tests, waiting, WAITING, and then surgery adn now a new diet and being the watchful caregiver you are. It is a tired that we all can understand, but also with Mike's birthday coming...well just take care, nap and rest when you can as you really have been through a whole lot in the last three months.

Love to you,

dee

Rhonda, don't know if I already said it, but that quote so adequately described what I did and still do sometimes, always looking for a glimpse of Eri. What a good thing for those who can write like that to share it with us, letting us know how universal our feelings are when we lose a child.

Love to all,

dee

[ericasmom]

MATTHEW, may the day sing of your name and your Mom hear the song of you deep in her heart.

[Guest msnher]

Bonnie any post in particular that you want to delete? I received the flag while I was gone. I just opened all my mail on Thursday. I may not get it to you in time, but it will be there for next year. Thank you so much for sending it! I want to have some pictures transposed onto it.

I'm beginning to like this new site! I especially like the emoticons! I still haven't been able to upload pictures successfully. I've even downsized them to almost the size of a dime. I'll have to quit practicing.

I still love my living room...It's so pretty. So safe. Not the kitchen. The kitchen is NOT safe. It has been ignored the last few days while I focused on the living room.

Gary just came in with his coveralls on, flash light in hand and drill in the other. He is crawling under the house (about two feet of space) to move the cable to the wall I want the television hung on. Of course there is no cable already there. Why would I pick a wall that already had cable?

Peace to all!

[Guest msnher]

OOPS! "I'll have to KEEP practicing. Not quit.

[Guest msnher]

Can you SEE me now!? My profile says I'm private and offline. I think I'm here. I could be there. But, I meant to be here. There is also a place to manage friends. I don't want to manage my friends. I want EVERYONE to be my friend. Not sure what it's for....the manage friends thing...

Well, since I'm not sure where I am, I think I'll retreat to the redneck patio and smoke.

You know...I have been hoping, waiting, bidding another wild bird to land on my shoulder ever since one did on the first night Steph died. I would try to hold very still and not truamatize it this time. As long as it's not an eagle or a hawk........or an owl....wouldn't THAT be cool? Scary as hell, but cool!

Okay...I'm going to go find myself now!

[heartbeataway]

Bonnie any post in particular that you want to delete? I received the flag while I was gone. I just opened all my mail on Thursday. I may not get it to you in time, but it will be there for next year. Thank you so much for sending it! I want to have some pictures transposed onto it.

I

I managed to post the same thing three times so I was exploring how to delete when I somehow flagged it. Did that send something to everyone?? Geez .... didn't mean to do that!

Can anyone tell me how to delete a post?

Thanks!

[lolynbo]

THINKING OF YOU TODAY MATHEW MATHEW MATHEW.....FLY HIGH AND FREE..YOUR FREE TO FLY.....

AS I SAID NO RACES TONIGHT SO WERE GOING TO A PLACE CALLED BABES...HOME COOKIN...NEAT ATMOSPHERE...

HOPE EVERYONE HAS A BLESSED DAY...KODY STARTS HIS SR YR FRIDAY...OMG WHERE DID MY TIME GO...

KODY AT WM LAST NIGHT

IF I CAN POST A PIC

OH GREAT SO I DK HOW TO POST A PIC...JUST WHAT I NEED

[westleysmom]

Carol-I hope you get at least a little Me-time in the next few days. I know being tired makes me more weepy, and birthdays are bound to be some of the hardest times to navigate our way through. Don't forget to take care of YOU while you take care of Ralph. Sending hugs to you both.

Susannah-So we apparently have the same kind of guilt complex. Thanks for telling me I was a good mama. I really tried, I really did. And my daughter tells me that I was and am. Its just so damn hard. I was dusting in the bedroom and in a stack of books I found the Bible that Westley gave me for Christmas in 2001. He wrote in the front of it where it says Presented to and From and the Date. I was here alone, and its a good thing. I just lost it for about five minutes. Those kind of cries that you don't want anybody to hear because you don't even want to hear them yourself, that sound like they're not even human.

Dee-I thought that quote probably applied to all of us here. I'm getting better, though, at least I finished a book that I haven't read before. Now I'm reading a book Elaine recommended, When God Doesn't Make Sense. I still have the list you gave me before and I'm going to try to get to some of those. My goodness, don't they turn the A/C on for the teachers? I hope your school year goes well, the back to school hullabaloo used to be like the new year, a clean slate, but now it just makes me sad.

Matthew's family-thinking of you and your angel Matthew.

Elaine-I wish I could think of something to help you feel better. I know what you mean, though, it all seems so pointless sometimes. I know when you can see Michael again, it will help a lot. I hate being alone, and I'm hardly ever alone for very long, but when I am, that's when my thoughts run wild and its not pretty. Take care.

The EMT in charge came to us that morning and gave us his phone number. He told us that they did all they could, and it was just too late. He was so sorry. I've seen a letter to the editor that he wrote since then about a proposed change to the way they calculate their overtime or something. He was very kind to us. I appreciate so much what those guys & girls do, especially now.

Have a good day all, and maybe tomorrow will be better

Rhonda Westley's Mom

[lolynbo]

MY BABY AT WM...

OK NOW IM JUST GETTN CRANKY.....FIX IT

CAN ADD PICS FOR PPL TO SEE

[shorty16]

Indigos

Lots of talk on those wonderful EMT's who responded to some of our kids.

My experience was quite difference and I am not proud of how I acted.

We saw the EMT's working on Brian and could hear Flight-for-life coming. We left the scene (big mistake) and went to the hospital. 1 hour later flight-for-life returned - empty. Brian died at the scene and flight-for-life does not transport dead people.

When we did see 2 female flight nurses they told us Brian did not make it - I started yelling at them. I said "He is only 16 years old how the ^%$ does a 16 year old die. That is your job, you did not do your job.

We never talked with anyone again other than the police.

Colleen

[ericasmom]

testing, testing, time stamp off and things not being posted.

[ericasmom]

Okay so the post went through, why is the time off? DID I somehow change the time or are all of you seeing the wrong time.

Let me know. Could not post earlier in the day nor could Carol, wonder what was up.

Love to all on this hot day,

dee

[westleysmom]

Dee-I changed something on my profile so that local time would show. I can't remember what it was called, but it wasn't set for local time, so I just changed it. Now it seems to be showing the right time. But they may be working on something else too. I can see the time stamp on here for your post.

Rhonda Westley's Mom

[ericasmom]

Thanks Rhonda.

Hey Iwas thinking of you and all the new parents here, and thought of this song as both a healer and an allower of tears. This album, BARE, by Annie Lenox was released right there in 2003 when Erz died. It played in the background of my days and nights as I tried to learn to breathe and walk and see again. Annie Lenox is one of my most favorite rockers, she and Chrissy Hynde truly are astounding to me.

Hope this posts, it is called Sidewalk Cracks:

[Eric]

Okay so the post went through, why is the time off? DID I somehow change the time or are all of you seeing the wrong time.

Let me know. Could not post earlier in the day nor could Carol, wonder what was up.

Love to all on this hot day,

dee

Hey, so when the forum switched over they felt the need to change it to london time. I changed the forum default back, but apparently it didn't fix it for everyone. To change your time zone go to the upper right, click your name for the drop down and my settings. The first screen will have an option to fix your time zone.

[ericasmom]

Thanks, I just did that even before reading your post, I feel so grown-up! I do so appreciate the attention to our calls for help, thanks.

dee

PS can you remind me as to how to access color for the fonts?

[daveydow1]

Trudi----Thanks so much for the instructions on the avatar. I will try real soon.

Susannah---Also, thanks to you too (for changing avatars)....So good that you were

able to talk to the firemen in line. They must have been glad to talk to you, and

you just took advantage of an opportunity that may have not come again. I applaud

you for that. Bless the children...Stephanie's little loves.

Leah----I will pray for you & your daughter. It's good you are trying to keep one

step ahead of him. Keep us posted about things. Prayers for you.

Elaine---Oh, friend, hang on and come here. We've all been there..where you are now.

Yes,....It is so hard to keep trying to come to grips with the fact that your child

is not here anymore. I know the searing pain of trying to accept that reality. You

are not a bad person at all....just a mom who loves her children, and mourns. I guess

we get so we sometimes think everyone may be against us or is not sympathetic, but we

all know that they cannot fully understand, unless they've been through the loss of

a child themselves. It is natural, on this journey, to want to run & hide sometimes.

Please just come back to BI----everyone here wishes only to help if they can, and we

welcome you to pour out your pain. Peace & prayers, Elaine.

I must hurry & get this posted because storms are moving in, and I will no doubt lose

my sattelite signal soon. Peace to all.

Davey&Lisasmom, Sherry

[Eric]

Thanks, I just did that even before reading your post, I feel so grown-up! I do so appreciate the attention to our calls for help, thanks.

dee

PS can you remind me as to how to access color for the fonts?

Awesome job figuring it out, soon you won't need me at all anymore! To change the color for fonts, look above the box where you enter text, and just to the right of the box that says "Sizes". Its the button that looks like paintbrush/pen with an A behind it. Just click that and it will select the color you want. If you did what i suggested earlier to go in your profile and selected "Enable visual (RTE) editor?" in the My Settings tab, then you will just type in the color you selected. If you didnt, you'll need to type what you want first, then highlight the text you want to change and select the color. Let me know if you have any problems!

[hotrod]

Good Evening Indigos

I just changd my profile and wanted to post to make sure the change was implemented. I am beginning to feel more comfortable moving around and exploring the site. It is nice to see us all finding our way,if haltingly but with steadfast effort thru this change.

It is a tribute to each of us. Bonnie, Dee, Colleen. Rhonda, Sus [/bcolor]and Lorri each one adding a little information so we can each grow, It is just like we do as we share this loss of child road. Thank you all for being here.

I agree Dee I too appreciate all Eric's eforts.

Leah, Carol and Betsy Holdingeach of you, each with a very special need close to my heart and praying for each this everning.

I am also testing the changing of the color on the message and it worked!!!WOW

[westleysmom]

Dee-You're getting all fancy putting videos in here. I really liked the song, I listened to it twice. If I ever heard it before, I don't remember it. I always liked Annie Lennox. Mostly I'm an AC/DC, Eagles, ELO, Moody Blues kind of girl. I know those all don't go together, but that's how I (rock 'n') roll. We went to an ice cream supper at church. I made Cherry Sherbet with cherry crush and Eagle Brand milk. I was a little nervous, because I'd never made it before. But it was really good. Still so hot here that you can hardly breathe. After the morning meltdown, the day hasn't been so bad. Sweet dreams to all.

Rhonda Westley's Mom

[lolynbo]

Mostly I'm an AC/DC

HECK YA

SAW EM IN CONCERT NOV...KODY LOVED IT...HE SAID "MOM I HAVE CHILLS"

STILL CANT PUT UP PICS

[mikesmum]

Good Morning Indigoes. Well another Wintery day here so having walked the Muttley man, I am staying in for the day.. We have just had Jeya (3) and Zak (8) overnight. I will share with you the innocence of Zak. I type here with Mikes ashes in an antique ceramic jar behind me. They are on an old stero from my folks with his pictures and guitar nearby. Zak picked this jar up asking is the an antique? Before I could answer the lid was off and he was 'sniffing' the contents. Knowing he has scattered his great grandads ashes not long ago we spoke of Micheal's ashes. When Mal came in later Zak decided to 'update him'. "You know Mikes in there". Gotta love em.

For my calligraphy 'practise' I have been looking for quotes and found this for us here..

I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge -- myth is more potent than history -- dreams are more powerful than facts -- hope always triumphs over experience -- laughter is the cure for grief -- love is stronger than death.- Robert Fulghum

Take care.. Trudi

[Eric]

HECK YA

SAW EM IN CONCERT NOV...KODY LOVED IT...HE SAID "MOM I HAVE CHILLS"

STILL CANT PUT UP PICS

when you add an attachment to a post, once you choose the file make sure you press the attach this file button as well, or your file wont attach. If you're still having the problem let me know!

[ericasmom]

Trudi, your words would look so beautiful in your fancy script, words that you have pored out through your heart, as you have a very fine way with them. I am going to post another song, a new band, well new to me anyhow and the song itself makes my heart fly. I do believe that my Child would love this song, that she would dance and perhaps is everytime she hears it, her dreadlocks bouncing up and around her pretty smile. Give a listen everyone, let me know what you think, they are called Temper Trap, and I think that I love them. Rhonda, I too have a big group of bands that I love that may not fit together from other folks view point, but listen to these guys. Trud, they may be from Australia, don't know yet, doing my research. Rhonda, I love Neil Young as though he is my Brother, and I listen to him almost daily, listen to all sorts of new folks on the radio, as well as old bands that are forever in my play list, I do love Snow Patrol, U2, Chrissy Hynde, Allman Brothers, Grateful Dead, James Taylor, Cat STevens, Pearl Jam, Annie lennox, and well, I am all over the board.

Sherry, I hope the storms don't knock out your satellite, but stay safe. WE might have more storms tonight, you too Colleen, but then cooler weather will move over us like a welcome mat.

Leah, good news, stay safe.

Elaine, how are you today? Sherry sure is right, we do know the depths of your ache. I wish you didn't have to know it.

I have missed responding to some of the posts, and my brain seemingly can't hang on to much, Oh yes, Sus, how nice to be able to tak to the the paramedics. So sweet for both ends of the conversation. Imagine how nice their hearts felt to know that you appreciate them. Col, I know that the medics in Brian's case understood your words, they must have to deal with the shock and despair from many.

Each day while we were in the hospital with Erica, the two air-flight-rescue guys would come visit us and ask how Erica was doing, how we were holding up. I thought what special folks they were to do that.

Okay, going to try to post another video, the sound of which truly makes me happy. PLUS COLOR< THANKS HELPERANGEL!

http://www.thetemper...eet-disposition

[hotrod]

Good Morning Indigoes.

I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge -- myth is more potent than history -- dreams are more powerful than facts -- hope always triumphs over experience -- laughter is the cure for grief -- love is stronger than death.- Robert Fulghum

Take care.. Trudi

Hi Indigos

I cannot sleep tonight so I thought I would come here and connect. Trudi thank you for the beautiful quote and I do believe that love is stronger than death and that laughter is a temporary cure for grief. Love the story and ZAK and am so glad tht Mutley is going for his walk Do hope he got a latte or hot chocolate

Dee,Sue, Colleen I am so sorry that the EMTs were not able to revive your beautiufl children I know it was so hard for you.When I awoke and found Stephen in his room, I called the EMTS but I knew there was no hope!! Hard memories!!

I am trying to learn to do attachemnts again as Dee just did with he music file but I have not ben successful Going to try again I do know how to change color of type. and to use the Quote feature so I will try with a picture I have used os Stephen when he was little.

I do feel lighter and more upbeat using this site, I am not quite sure why!! Maybe because it is new and different.

Here goes

[mikesmum]

You have EMT'S we have Ambulance Officers and EMD's. The Emergency Medical Dispatcher is what I used to do. The Ambulance officers who attended Mike are all 'friends' (locals). Had my morning coffee with one of the female ambo's who was first on scene to Mike. Its been over 3yrs and each time we meet there is a hug and a 'knowing'. Living with a husband who tried for 55mins to revive my son isn't all sunshine. Imagine being married to one of the EMT's who attended your child? Somedays are better than others....

If you do get the opportunity to speak directly to or even find a contact address, please let them know you valued their efforts. These guys carry the 'weight' even though they might not show it....

[shorty16]

Indigos

I am still figuring out this awesome site. Trying to change the phone size and when I click on the down arrow, nothing happens.

Sure do love these emotion icons.

Trudi, love it when I first sign on and you are the first post I see. Hope the walk with Mutley-man went well.

I think Aaron is drawn to the kids-in-need in our society. We (again) have a young man staying with us that was kicked out of his home. This kid (Trevor) is different. He is a good kid. He is 17 and starting his junior year (same year as AJ). His mother adopted 2 more children and kicked Trevor out. Trevor's Dad took him to get registered for school. Trevor's Dad says "There is nothing I can do, she wants you out of the house" Get some gonads MAN!!

I am really torn - Do I contact Social Services? How do I take on this new responsibility. Everyone in our house just loves Trevor (Including Michelle) - that is not the problem. Am I doing the right thing. - Anyone else's house been a safe-house?

Help

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever

[nicksdad]

Indigos

I am still figuring out this awesome site. Trying to change the phone size and when I click on the down arrow, nothing happens.

Help

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever

Colleen..I'm assuming you mean "font" size and not "phone" size. if so what you do is type what you want and then highlight those words or word

and then click on the drop down for "font" and select your site. It will end up looking like this:

size="3"test/size (there are actually brackets around the 2 words "size" but posting it takes them out.

[lolynbo]

when you add an attachment to a post, once you choose the file make sure you press the attach this file button as well, or your file wont attach. If you're still having the problem let me know!

DOESNT MATTER THE PIC SAYS ERROR OR ALL TOO BIG

[ericasmom]

Trudi, love that song, makes me weepy in a way that cleans out the built up tears, the ones that need to let loose. Thank you Deary. I too love theZak story, my goodness it is from children that we can learn how to live our best lives. Like Jonathan telling Susannah, did you know you have a black grandson? And Zak saying his uncle was in there...all the ways they take in the info and deliver it without the clutter. It is clear like a new day to them. It is not filled with the implications and the assigned hush that adults give it. We need to listen more to the sweet notes from children. I also love the quote you posted, and I fully agree with the words. I love that you remind us to let the EMT or EMD's know how we were touched by their work. On behalf of all those who work in the field, and who take those emergency calls, thank you.

I miss you little one.

Col, I don't know what you should do, but maybe let the school year begin before you do anything. Why isn't the dad doing anything about his living with him?

[shorty16]

Dee

Trevor's Dad is submissive and his Mom is demonstrative. I really like this kid. So does my family. I am concerned about the legal aspects the having a minor in HS presents. Permission slips, fees, feedback, etc.

I will pray some more

Colleen

[shorty16]

Indigos

I cannot change my font size, it is driving me crazy

ALL

This week, my family has the distinct pleasure of dog-sitting for my sisters 4 year old rottweiler-bull mastiff mix, Macy. She is really a wonderful dog - HUGE, Tail can clear the table and she does not stay in the yard.

My sister is driving to Missouri to see Chelsey graduate from Army basic training. (her daughter)

Macy and Copper get along well. Macy and our 3 cats is another story. Macy loves to give the kitties kisses. They do not appreciate it too much.

Should be interesting.

Colleen

[shorty16]

Testing Testing Testing

[ericasmom]

Col, I would make sure that Dad is available in the area for field trip slips and what not, and also find out, if you can, why this kid is not welcome in their home? THere are legal aspects to having a minor in your home, but if the child is staying with you like one would on an overnight, but just many in a row. You may want to talk to a social worker from the high school, asking to keep it between just you two and ask what the implications are for you.

As far as font, I too had this issue until I went up to my pull down screen next to my name and clicked on settings, and then I clicked on a box that said enable text something, so from then on, I have been able to use font size, before that, nope.

love

dee