Loss of an Adult Child

[hotrod]

HI AGAIN INDIGOS

MY SOLUTION TO BEING ABLE TO POST ATTACHEMNTS DID NOT WORK!!

NOW I AM GOING TO THE EXPERT

[b]DAN CAN YOU SHED SOME LIGHT ON THE ISSUE

[westleysmom]

KAYLA KAYLA KAYLA

You are loved and missed so very much.

Dee-I have been reading Name All the Animals that you recommended and I can hardly put it down. So I haven't been on much the last few days. But its really good, so its worth it. Hope your last hurrah before school starts is still going good. I almost cried when I read about going to places you had been with sweet Erica. Thinking of you.

Lorri-Sometimes my husband just can't think of what to answer me when I say something that to me is really earth-shaking. He'll just kind of shrug his shoulders or look away. But that's why I'm glad I have you guys to talk to. He has his own grief, I guess. Did you mean it was supposed to be orange? I don't know how in the world to change colors, so I'm just going with whatever I get.

Have a good day all. (and thanks to the administrator people, I was wondering what I would do if I suddenly lost complete contact with all of you. Who would listen to me? I'd be lost, so a new site I can't work that well is better than that and I'll take it. I'm sure we'll get used to it eventually)

Rhonda Westley's Mom

[krichie]

We have finally made the decision to put Richies dog down. It should of been done last year but we could not loose them both so close togather and it has taken us this long to get the courage to do it. There is a Vet that will come to the house for this so I will have him put under Richies tree.

This is been a pretty tough week so far, with signing papers and now this but it needs to be done. Bear is 16 years old and can hardly see or hear he also can no long hold his bladder and getting up and down is very difficult for him. He was Richies dog-I remember after Richie passed Bear went into like a coma state, no eating or drinking and just layed there for like 4 days. Dogs feel grief too. We took him to vet back then and they said his time had come but like I said we just could no do it. We can no longer let him suffer and need to give him dignity.

Shavelle has her Kidney specialist to see today so have a long drive this afternoon

I hope today finds you all well !

There are times when I talk of Richie and my husband looks at me like I am from another planet. I find that we do not talk often about him and when we do we are laughing at the memories. But then we hold on as we cry realizing there will be no more to come. I still in my minds eye feel like its only been days since this nightmare started. I still find myself saying Richie did this last month then I hear myself and realize the time.

I have come to rely on reading and seeing your words each day and remembering all our Angels. I shouted out Kaylas name and prayed yesturday but I do not know much about her I am sorry to say. There seems to be post missing because I see you all talking back and forth about things and I can never seem to find the original post like for instance something twins or a dream one of you had and I can never find the post with the dream so it seems I never catch up on the conversations or get the meaning of some things

[westleysmom]

Richie's Mom-So sorry you have to have his dog put down, but it sounds like its time. I know what you mean about the messages, sometimes I have no idea what I'M even talking about, much less everybody else. Maybe once we get used to the new site, it'll be easier to find posts that we missed. Time is more relative now than it used to be. Before, I thought time was passing so quickly, all the days blurred into each other. Right after, it seemed that time stood still and I was stuck in the muck of a terrible, horrible no-good day, or whatever that children's book was called. And now, it will somehow be 7 months tomorrow morning since I got that call. How in the world did that happen? Some days, I do the Scarlett O'Hara, I just can't think about it. Some days its all I think about. So you're not alone on your other planet. All the other aliens are here. Hugs for your hard days.

Rhonda Westley's Mom

[hotrod]

DEAR KRICHIE'SMOM I AM SO SORRY FOR THE DIFFICULT WEEK YOU ARE HAVING MY PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU.

DEAR INDIGOS

I HAVE JUST SPENT AN ENJOYABLE HALF HOUR IN THE "GALLERY" SECTION OF THIS FORM. I AM COMPLETELY COMPUTER DEFICIENT BUT WAS ABLE TO START THE ALBUM AND UPLOAD ABOUT 8 PICTUES. IT WAS FUN.

THANK YOU ERIC FOR YOU EXCELLENT INSTRUCTIONS ON HOW TO DO IT.

I REALLY DO LIKE THIS SITE AND APPRECIATE ALL THE WORK THAT THAS GONE INTO IT!!

[Eric]

hotrod - im thrilled you were able to add your gallery! the pictures were great and thanks for sharing them with us!

msnher - i checked out the friend feature a little, and i didn't want to hijack this thread with tech/board stuff so i added a separate thread in the help section -

For the folks curious about the spell check i added a brief thing as well -

Thanks for your time everyone!

[summergirl]

OMG - I got in here....I am at work so this is quick. I tried so many times last night to get in but it kept telling me my log-in was invalid !! I decided to try it today and here I am - was so scared I was not goig to be able to talk to my friends --- see you tonight, love and peace Kathy

[lolynbo]

HUM WELL IT SEEMED LIKE IT WAS ON A ROLL...I JUST DONT LIKE THE BACKWARDS STUFF OLD TO NEW....SHOULD BE NEW TO OLD...

[shorty16]

Indigos

So glad I can hear from my friends today. I am sitting in my air-conditioned home. A heat advisory is in effect for us.

My day is going ok?!?!?!

I am trying to get up off the couch and walk or do something - I am soooo lazy

Colleen

[heartbeataway]

Krichie,

I'm sorry I don't know your first name!

I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am about Bear! We have our son's dog and I dread the day ...... we know it will come but I just can't even think about it right now!

I love that he will be under Richie's tree.

I wish you peace with your decision, I know it wasn't easy!

Love!

[heartbeataway]

Kathy,

You know one of us would come and find you if you didn't find your way here ........

Love!

[quellsmom]

No one, except those who have lost a child can imagine how it feels... to be so lonely in a roomful of people. Feeling lonely today. Hoping you all found or will find a moment of peace today. Lisa

[ericasmom]

Hi KIDS, are we having fun yet? I am the lost one here, having been away when the big changes came, and not able to really access much on the laptop. So I am experimenting, however I feel quite lost. Almost like I am new here.

I am feeling kind of new in other areas too, my emotions are quite HUGE today, feeling so odd that 7 years have passed and I feel I just don't know what I want right now. I have to get ready for school, it begins on the 23, but going into an un-airconditioned classroom in these heat and humidity filled days is almost daunting.I have no enthusiasm. The trip up north was quick but good, however I am left feeling flat and emotional. I know that Erz would want me to be a more bubbly mom right now, I will try, but sometimes I just have to let the sad sit for a few days. Let it work its way through me. Being in those familiar places, those well loved memory holding places have made me feel very melancholy. But it also brought me great joy to be there again. Bittersweet.

Krichie, letting the dog go is a gift you are giving both the dog and Richie. HOw sweet of you to let him go easily at home without so much worry. The spot for burying him will forever be special. I sure hope the tests for Shavelle come out great. Keep us posted.

IT"S SO HOT! I know, in a few months I will say the opposite. BUT OH My.

I am thinking of you all, let me know what it is with the friends thing, I don't quite get what I am supposed to do if someone invites me to be a friend. I am slow.

I will post more later, still foggy after a nap today. Husband has a bad cold, don't want that.

[ericasmom]

Lisa, the lonliness is hard to deal with, I know. There are still times, today for instance, where I feel lonely. Not alone, but lonely in my own day. Not necessarily even wanting to interact because I am in a funk. I do hope that you keep posting, most of us found that our symptoms were universally felt among we parents. Your loss is new, and while it will never be ok that Quell is gone, it will take on a softness over time. Not now, but much later. One day.

Rhonda, I am so glad that you are enjoying Name All the Animals. I find that the books I read at the start of this journey, helped me through each new phase of grief. I still select books that have loss in the underlying themes, as that is what I can so readily understand.

Blessings Sweetie.

dee

Can you guys tell me why when I highlight, as was suggested, and try to change the font it does not work and where are the color ink choices?

[daveydow1]

Hello Indigoes---I will attempt to post now...who knows how it will turn out,

since I am such a dope about all this technical stuff.

Betsy,Jenn, Susannah,Dee---Thank you for your kind words for Lisa's pic. I

wonder if I'll EVER be able to post anymore pics with this new site?

Dee---Your drive up Traverse Peninsula sounds divine. It must be a lovely area.

Kathy--I hope and pray that all will work out well for your Mom & Dad and that

they will enjoy the assisted living facility when they move there.

KAYLA---KAYLA---KAYLA Thinking of you, Lynn. Peace be with you.

Leah---I'm glad you are safe, and am sending prayers your way that things will

work out for you and your daughter.

Dawnray---Sorry it has been so rough for you. Peace & comfort.

Betty---YIKES...a limit on how many pics you can post! I am seldom able to post any pics.

I usually run into trouble somehow.

Krichie----So sorry to hear that the dog has to be put down. Yes,....it is something

that must be done eventually with all pets, but it sure isn't easy. I,like Bonnie, dread

the day I have to put my kitty down (she's 14), so we had her when Davey was still with

us, and he like her so much. Thinking of you at this sad time, friend.

Rhonda---It has also been very hot here....and so humid. I'm almost to the point of wishing

the summer away, and I HATE to do that.

Well---who knows if this will show up as a post, or get lost in 'cyberspace'

Wishing PEACE & COMFORT TO ALL IN THE BI FAMILY.

Davey&Lisasmom, Sherry

[daveydow1]

Hello Indigoes---I will attempt to post now...who knows how it will turn out,

since I am such a dope about all this technical stuff.

Betsy,Jenn, Susannah,Dee---Thank you for your kind words for Lisa's pic. I

wonder if I'll EVER be able to post anymore pics with this new site?

Dee---Your drive up Traverse Peninsula sounds divine. It must be a lovely area.

Kathy--I hope and pray that all will work out well for your Mom & Dad and that

they will enjoy the assisted living facility when they move there.

KAYLA---KAYLA---KAYLA Thinking of you, Lynn. Peace be with you.

Leah---I'm glad you are safe, and am sending prayers your way that things will

work out for you and your daughter.

Dawnray---Sorry it has been so rough for you. Peace & comfort.

Betty---YIKES...a limit on how many pics you can post! I am seldom able to post any pics.

I usually run into trouble somehow.

Krichie----So sorry to hear that the dog has to be put down. Yes,....it is something

that must be done eventually with all pets, but it sure isn't easy. I,like Bonnie, dread

the day I have to put my kitty down (she's 14), so we had her when Davey was still with

us, and he like her so much. Thinking of you at this sad time, friend.

Rhonda---It has also been very hot here....and so humid. I'm almost to the point of wishing

the summer away, and I HATE to do that.

Well---who knows if this will show up as a post, or get lost in 'cyberspace'

Wishing PEACE & COMFORT TO ALL IN THE BI FAMILY.

Davey&Lisasmom, Sherry

[summergirl]

Dee - you are not the only one my friend. This is all so new to me and for some reason "I Hate Change' but as Greg said After what we have all been through this is nothing !!! We will find our way here, just takes a little more time for some of us. I want to explore the gallery, figure out how to upload pictures, etc... I am sorry that you are feeling the pain of losing Eri - I do like however that you know you need to let the saddness sit for a while....here for you always.

Tavian is loving camp so I am going to try to get them to let him go for 2 more weeks and hopefully they will not charge me too much. I will beg if I have to - I have not seen Tavian this happy in quite some time...they do so much with them at this camp it is a blessing to me to know that his day will be a happy one...

Update on Barry - he is down 83 pounds now - whoo hoo - he looks so good. He wants to lose 30 more but I am not sure he needs, his body will stop when ready I think. We kept his size "52" pants so we can do a "Biggest Loser" picture of him holding them up in front of him and them dropping them to show off his now size 42 - he wants to get to a 38 !!! Can't wait to show you before and after pics.

There are going to be some lay-offs at my work....meeting tomorrow at 2 pm...if they get enough people to retire (those who are eligible) then the rest of us will be safe. They want to get rid of at least 50 people and there are more than that who can retire so say a prayer...they are offering a good incentive so if they are smart they will take it. I am starting my 17th year and am not ready or able to retire yet...really like my job and the benefits are the best - the reason I took the job to begin with..full medical, dental, eye glasses, perscriptions, and my co-pay is just 20 dollars no matter what...any way, hope I hear good news tomorrow.

Many thoughts of Jessica these days, some days I just cannot do anything but think about her, what was, what should have been, what could have been, how much I miss her beautiful smile, the way she lit up any room she walked into....tears fall and the heart hurts...and then I move on again.

Love, Peace and Strength to all, Kathy

[summergirl]

KAYLA, KAYLA, KAYLA - SAYING YOUR NAME OUT LOUD SWEET ANGEL...

[summergirl]

SOUND ASLEEP AFTER A LONG DAY AT GIN BEACH !!!

[mpsmom]

KAYLA KAYLA KAYLA

saying your name out loud today

watch over your family on this and everday .

(((HUGS )))) Marcia Bethanys Mom Forever

[Eric]

Hey everyone, for anyone having problems with how colors, bolding, italics and any other formatting works, do this - go to the upper right corner, click your name for the drop down and select "My Settings". The first tab that comes up should be Settings, with General settings selected. Look for the box that states "Enable visual (RTE) editor?" and make sure the little empty box next to it is checked

This changes the way the formatting works so that for example when you select a text color, it will always type like that, or when you bold it will always be bold. The default way it works is a little odd. I'm going to see about changing the forum default if i can, but this will make sure it works for you!

To change text color, look just above the add text box and look for the drop down that says Sizes, just to the right of that is an A and a pen/paintbrush. Click on the A/painbrush and that will let you change your text color.

[mikesmomrs]

I'm glad to see so many here...I too was afraid we would all drop off into cyberspace or something and never find each other...I do believe our angels would direct us back to each other, though, just as they have directed us from the beginning.

[i]"Some days, I do the Scarlett O'Hara, I just can't think about it. Some days its all I think about."

I think it was Jenn who wrote this...and it is so true...I believe all of us are in this mode some of the time...but, always, as Bonnie said "The loss of my son is the background noise in my life." (I hope I quoted that right..)

Yes, It is so very possible to be lonely in a room full of people...people who are just on another plane, people who don't understand...leaves me feeling so cold and lonely sometimes. If Ralph is with me, I reach out for him, but if I am alone (which I try not to be unless it is a time when I feel the need), then I am very lonely. Sometimes I meet someone who just reaches out for some reason, and it usually is someone who has been there, too...has happened more than a few times...when Ralph was being given his final words of instruction from the anesthesiologist, we were explaining our anxiety over this whole thing and asking him to please understand...we told him a brief description of the mess-ups with Mike and how if we hadn't transferred him, he never would have had that extra 17 months with his family. He reached over and took my hand, and with his other hand on Ralph's chest, he said, "I understand...I lost my 22 year old daughter to brain cancer a few years ago." And he TRULY understood...it was deep in his eyes...such a kind man.

Sherry: so glad that your post showed up...see, you are smarter than you give yourself credit for!

Colleen: So sorry it is so HOT there, but glad you got to stay home in the a/c.

Kathy: Prayers for your job situation...we went through that when I worked at the hospital, 10 years ago...scary times. Many people took early retirement though, because the package offered was good. Some got nothing though...never was explained. So glad to hear about Barry...such wonderful work and I know he is proud and you are all proud of him...I'll bet he looks really good! Ralph has lost 22 lbs since his surgery, but he is eating almost nothing of any substance, but of course, he hopes to keep it off. We'll have to work at it... I hope that you are able to keep Tavian in camp...we have a camp here for Jamie (Cathi's youngest, who is 11), but it is not that good...they try, but they do fall short.

Krichie: so very sorry about having to put your sweet dog down...but so very glad that you are able to do it in such a loving way. Richie will be waiting for him.

Lisa: thank you for your wish for finding a peaceful moment today...I was blessed with one, actually...Ralph had to go into the clinic for blood work, and I (very unusual for me) stayed in the van...rolled the windows down, a nice breeze was blowing across, and I actually fell asleep!!! It couldn't have been more than 15 minutes, but I felt renewed when I woke up.

I also don't know much about the "friend" part of this board yet...will have to check out the posts done by admin earlier today. You guys (admin) have certainly been a big help with all of this...thanks so much for staying on top of everything!

Betsy: have you set a date for moving yet? I forget...how far away are you moving? I do wish I could be there to help you, but I would have to stop every meal time to fix a meal for Ralph and it usually takes me over an hour, what with all the adding up, figuring out, etc.!!! Or maybe you could do that, and I could do the packing?

Betty: I haven't checked out the gallery yet, but it sounds like you have it all down pat! Good for you!

Trud: I hope you've been able to post...come to think of it, you have posted here...that's good...because that would be a long trip to find you, though one I would willingly make! Your weather must be getting nicer by the day...ours is still beautiful, though we can feel the coolness creeping in...

Leah: I hope you are staying safe...

Sus: You must be getting the kids ready for school, and I can't imagine getting three kids ready for school nowadays...I try to help with the grandies, but I know it just puts a dent in it... I saw a program being highlighted on TV yesterday, where a local bank has raised money to do "bookbags for kids" as a back to school thing...they did something like 75 of them. Lorri: Didn't your "Kourtney's Kloset" do that last year? Are they doing it again?

Dee: I don't think I would be looking forward to returning to the hot, stuffy classroom either---hopefully the heat will break and the nice fall weather will waft through the windows before long. I know all those kids are looking forward to their new teacher and will be blessed this whole school year by being in your class.

When Kim was here, she made a decoration for Mike's site at the cemetary...we have a shepherd's hook beside the bench because we can't put anything on the ground. It is three long strands of beads, macrame'd onto a 2" ring, one ends with a wooden peace symbol, one ends with a wooden cross, and one ends with a beautiful green stone from the earth. In the middle of one strand, she put beads that spelled "MIKE" and one of the others, she put beads that spelled "ALWAYS"...on one of the strands she intertwined some beads of the rastafarian colors because that is what he liked. I will try to take a picture and post it. I think I need to spray it with varnish or something to keep it from being destroyed by the weather. I am just praying that it doesn't "walk away"...though we haven't had any trouble yet.

got to go...davis just came in and is scrounging for something to eat...got to warn him away from Ralph's stuff I spent most of the evening preparing...Davis works at a restaurant but always comes home hungry...why is that?!!

love and peace to all, carol mikesmomrs

ps: Ralph is doing well...slow recovery, but recovery...lots of hard work...pt comes twice a week and Ralph has been pretty good about following the instructions he leaves...need to prod him some, but he doesn't grumble about it...much...lol!

[rlolheiser]

A quick note to all of you.

I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for all the prayers. I know a lot of you are worried and I am worried. Another day my daughter is still with her abusive boyfriend. I know she is getting weak, and I think if he doesn't leave, she will be leaving anyway. she calls me if he goes outside, and cries.. I offered to call the sheriff and come with them.. but she is afraid to cause this beast problems. I feel so bad for my girl. I did speak with the sheriff today, I wanted something on record about what is going on, he was very good to me and helped. He wants to do something, but like he says, she has to be the one to make the move. But I do know what I need to do once it is over with. I also told him he should check in with this monsters parole officer. I dont' care if I put him away.. I will go to hell for my baby... I know our angel wants us to do this.

I feel bad, i am not in a place to post to anybody. I am turned around on this site, but I know it is just because I haven't put my all into it. It seems nice, and I am sure I will figure it all out. I can only do so much at a time.

My thoughts are with you.. and hope you all have peace this evening. I know it is lonely.. but our angels are talking.. I feel it.

Leah/JaBoa's grandma

[lolynbo]

ITS NOT A METEOR SHOWER THE KIDS ARE THROWING GLITTER AT US...AND KISSES WITH TAILS OF LOVE...

[hotrod]

Hi Indigos

So glad to see that the "Gang " is all arriving to our new home!! Certainly is an adventure.

Leah Thanks for checking in and filling us in on the what is going on. I am so very sorry for the additional crisis that your must endure . So glad you spoke to the sherrif and that your daughter is calling you and continuing to reach out. I will keep on praying. PLease keep in touch.

Trudie Loved your Album in the Gallery It is obviously a Labor of Love Thank you for posting it.

Greg and Marcia I really loved seeing the wonderful pictures of Brian and Beautiful Bethany in the Gallery as well

I REALLY LIKE THIS SITE.

It is wonderful that we have all figured out how to transition to this new site We are all becoming so computer literate!!

I am so glad to see : Dee, Trudie, Lynn, Carol, Sherry, Sonya,Lynn, ELAINE, Quelllsmom, Susannah,Colleen, Bonnie, Leah, Kathy ,Marcia,Claudia, Greg, Dan., Rhonda, Elaine, Jeffery'smommy have successfully figured out how to post!!!!

BETSY Where are you Maybe you are in the middle of your move. Hope to see your handsome son and hear your wit soon.

A few more also need to check in. I do hope that we will hear from them tomorrow.

Have a Blessed Evening

[Guest msnher]

Hi Everyone!

Just a quick hello before I head to bed. I'm beat and haven't taken the time to read all the posts. I'll try to catch up tomorrow.

I spent today ripping out the carpet in the living room. The hardwood floor underneath is still in excellent shape! So pretty...

Jonathon had his kindergarten physical today. He got three shots, blood drawn and had to pee in a cup. He didn't cry. He was a bit aghast that he had to clean himself with a wipe before he peed and had to have Grandma's help to hold the cup. What really bothered him was when the doctor had to check his "boy parts". He looked at me with a "What the hell?" look and I assured him it was okay. I stressed that only the doctor was allowed to do that. I bought all the kids school supplies before we went to Iowa. We will finish getting their school clothes this weekend. Mostly for Mariah.

I will try to catch up with everyone tomorrow.

Peace to all....

[mysonrich]

Hello everyone, I finally made it to our new site. I don't know if there was a problem here or on my end. I uninstalled some files and now my gmail is acting crazy but I'd rather not work with that now.

Kayla,Kayla,Kayla,you and your mom and family were in my thoughts all day yesterday.

The moving truck will be here today. I moved things up a day because I so no reason to stay longer. I'm also tried of walking around boxes/totes . Things feel kind of strange. the unknown .

Betty, I will take a look at the gallery and hope I can get back here again.

Lorri, it was to hot to work very long in my basement yesterday so I came upstairs and while watching the news I saw a girl that reminded me of Kourtney. The girl was handing out water somewhere.

Dee, while going through "things",I found my grandmothers yearbooks from HS and college. after I take a closer look at them I was gift them to the college and historical society. She was also a teacher. teaching seems to run in the family. I understand the emotions you are feeling now. Like Kathy said, we let them flow and continue to walk on.

Sus, I guess I was the one that needed directions! sounds like a busy time around your place .

Carol, thanks for the offer of help. I think just having company would be nice. I told Sarah to stay put. I saw no reason for her to travel here just to stare at boxes and watch retro TV with me. She'll be waiting on the arrival side. The move isn't far in miles. around 150. The township I am moving to is actually where I lived while attending Jr and Sr high school and then some. This township borders the township that I lived in while married,divorced,Sarah and Rich school years. Rich had just moved across the river to Pa before he died so there are lots of memories back "home". also triggers. I know you are all here when undoubtedly they hit.

Its 3:45 in the morning. now days, the time of day of waking does not feel strange.

I'll catch up later.

Betsy,mysonRich

[ericasmom]

]Betsy, I pray that your move will be smooth adn that the days ahead find you discovering little nuggets of gold. WHen the triggers do hit, we will all understand that for sure. My heart travels the dusty roads with you.

Sus, love that Jonathan was reassured by your support adn love. the transformative power of love adn safety.

Morning All. Going to work after a short walk, have to work to get my classroom in order.

Love,

dee

[shorty16]

Leah

I am sending prayers your way concerning your daughter. Thinking of you.

Colleen

[nicksdad]

HI AGAIN INDIGOS

MY SOLUTION TO BEING ABLE TO POST ATTACHEMNTS DID NOT WORK!!

NOW I AM GOING TO THE EXPERT

[b]DAN CAN YOU SHED SOME LIGHT ON THE ISSUE

I"m sorry I just saw this. If you are in say "loss of an adult child" you will click on

"add reply" then on the next screen under the word "Attachements" click on "Browse"

that will let you browse your computer for the file that you want to attach. Once you select

the file then all you do is click on "Attach This File" and it will become part of your

post.

Hope this helps if not i'll put pictures showing the steps.

[shorty16]

Dee

I am right there with you HOT, HOT and OH MY the Humidity. This many hot days in a row, we have not seen in a long time.

Indigos

My daughter, Michelle is still looking for a vehicle. She is beginning to realize she cannot by a Cadillac SUV with a Honda Civic income. Too funny.

The Packers play their first pre-season game on Saturday night - Cannot miss that!!!!! Those of you that are new, I am a huge Packer fan. We try to go to one game a year. Tickets are tough to get, the stadium has been sold out for 32 straight seasons. The Packers are one of the oldest football franchises and owned by the people of Green Bay, Wisconsin - not just one person. COOL

Love to my friends, new and old

Colleen

[lostwoher]

Hahahahaha- pictures are always a help:lol:

[lostwoher]

Good morning Indigos! First and foremost let me say Thank You for all of your support and kind words.

Yesterday was a tuff day but I got through it. So hard to believe it has been 2 years already. Already, but then again it seems to be a very very very long time.

Took out new artificial flowers, new cat statue, and a fall wreath. Will post pictures a lil later of the balloon release. I must say that when picking out the balloon that Mike instantly came to mind. Just the peace sign with all the colors so Im pretty sure he and Kayla are good friends .

There are more posts I would like to comment on but its so doggone stuffy hot in here and Im not awake enough to respond. Once I have had my morning joe then I will return. Oh, I will try to stay signed on to the chat room if anybody is up for it.

Make it a great day,

[Guest msnher]

Another "drive by"...

Betsy - When I read your "Sus, do you need directions?" on the old site, I literally spit coffee all over. It was perfect humor!! I'm glad you found us, too!!!!

I would be lost without all of you. I'm sorry I don't have more time to respond personally right now. We're busy getting last minute details taken care of for school. I told Mariah she HAS to go clothes shopping with me this week end. She hates shopping. Go figure. I think we already have all of Jonathon and Jasmine's clothes.

We're also consumed with new plans for landscaping and remodeling (adding on). We hired my son to put in a sprinkler system and lay sod in the front and back yards, which are now weeds and dirt. He (my son) has begun his own landscaping business. He was very scared in the beginning, but already has so many jobs he had to hire help.

As for Little Curtis....he is beginning to show signs his injuries hurt. Of course they hurt, but he hasn't shown any reaction. Still his response to the pain is minimal in comparison to the actual damage, but it is quite sad. They have him on lortabs for the pain.

Just showing Jonathon, who is cuddled next to me as I type, what the emoticons are.

This is irrational, and I really am okay, but the other night I tried to find a new picture of Stephanie to post and it suddenly occured to me that there won't be any new photo's of her. Ever. I cried myself to sleep. It's okay to cry. The crying doesn't scare me. I panic when that unbearable pain hits, knowing I can't function efficiently with it. What's ironic, is I also panic'd when it left. Thinking I was betraying Stephanie, somehow, by the relief. Of course, now that I've had some relief, I know that's not true.

I am still amazed, curious, interested and deeply respect the power of grief. Who would have thunk it? The very same vehicle that almost destroyed me actually made me softer, more compassionate, stronger. It caused me to reject, hate and question every spiritual I ever held about creation and the Creator. It also caused me to cry out to that one for strength and help to make it through another day, hour or minute.

Well...I guess it was more of a sleep over than a drive by..

Peace to you all!

[Guest msnher]

One more thing,

All you who lives in humid states...you have my sympathy regarding the heat. I just never understood, really, until I visited Iowa last week. I am so grateful to be back in Wyoming, where it is dry, dry, dry! Before I left for Iowa, I THOUGHT we had a lot of mosquitos....I was wrong!

Oh. I caught a horney toad in the backyard yesterday. When I was a child, and lived in the deserts of Southern Nevada, I filled my dirty pockets with lizards, horney toads and snakes. While my grandchildren were shrieking because of the "lizard" in the backyard, I was sneaking up on it to capture it for a moment. We let it go in the garden...which is now just weeds. Kind of fun.

[Guest msnher]

Well, I'll be...!

I was downloading a current picture of myself to put in my profile and came across all the pictures from Stephanie's phone. A new picture of Stephanie...I hope it works.

Nope. it didn't work.

[Guest msnher]

put her in my avatar.

[4everjoeysmom]

Susannah, I LOVE IT!! Just as you went to bed grieving for a new photo of Stephanie, all the while it was in your destiny to find new pictures of her. Stories like that bring the warm and fuzzies.

[westleysmom]

Carol-It was actually me that was holding a handkerchief to my chest and saying "Tomorrow's another day" with my fist held up to the sky. Or something like that. I guess I thought of Scarlett because its so freaking hot. We don't expect a break until at least next weekend. As one of my boss's friends said when they were in a crowd and it was a thousand degress "Oh, the HUMANITY!" Glad that Ralph is still recovering, albeit slowly.

Dee-I finished Name All the Animals. It was very good, some parts made me really cry, the first time they went to the beach and her mother was looking for her son.

"I was not the one she was looking for. It would always be Roy, the child she'd let slip throught her hands. She would look for him around every corner, on every sand dune, in the face of every young man. For the rest of her life she'd chase this phantom. Like so many women, she was defined by her children. And she had let one of them die. I know she watched him on that last morning, through the bedroom window....Mother did not expect to find Roy on the beach, but she just had to check."

That one really got to me. Today is 7 months. I didn't want to get up this morning, I think that's why. It was in the morning that the world turned upside down. I have been having a sad time, too with all the back to school hullabaloo. My friend whose son died in January too told me that she felt old and washed up as a mother, he was her baby like Westley was mine. I guess that's how I feel. Like I missed my chance to be a good mama, which I think Jackie Kennedy said was the most important thing you'll ever do. So anyway, thinking of all of you and trying to get used to the site. The good news for me is my posts never did look that great, so they haven't changed that much. Love to you all.

Rhonda Westley's Mom

[shorty16]

Rhonda

You are at such a hard stage right now. 8 months was my personal breaking point. I had been trying so hard to be strong, but had no more strength - that is when I handed my life over to the Lord. I had made such a mess of things trying to be so strong - all the while withering away.

The reality really starts hitting hard at this point. I want you to know that we have been there. We know what you are going through. I want to send you a virtual hug. My heart feels your pain. Reality-Sucks

The light at the end of the tunnel is coming. It really does get softer. I could never believe that, because the pain was so intense. But it is true. The edges soften and now I actually smile when I think of Brian. I find myself laughing at memories, where before those memories caused so much pain.

There is light and we are here to help you find it.

Colleen

[daveydow1]

Carol-It was actually me that was holding a handkerchief to my chest and saying "Tomorrow's another day" with my fist held up to the sky. Or something like that. I guess I thought of Scarlett because its so freaking hot. We don't expect a break until at least next weekend. As one of my boss's friends said when they were in a crowd and it was a thousand degress "Oh, the HUMANITY!" Glad that Ralph is still recovering, albeit slowly.

Dee-I finished Name All the Animals. It was very good, some parts made me really cry, the first time they went to the beach and her mother was looking for her son.

"I was not the one she was looking for. It would always be Roy, the child she'd let slip throught her hands. She would look for him around every corner, on every sand dune, in the face of every young man. For the rest of her life she'd chase this phantom. Like so many women, she was defined by her children. And she had let one of them die. I know she watched him on that last morning, through the bedroom window....Mother did not expect to find Roy on the beach, but she just had to check."

That one really got to me. Today is 7 months. I didn't want to get up this morning, I think that's why. It was in the morning that the world turned upside down. I have been having a sad time, too with all the back to school hullabaloo. My friend whose son died in January too told me that she felt old and washed up as a mother, he was her baby like Westley was mine. I guess that's how I feel. Like I missed my chance to be a good mama, which I think Jackie Kennedy said was the most important thing you'll ever do. So anyway, thinking of all of you and trying to get used to the site. The good news for me is my posts never did look that great, so they haven't changed that much. Love to you all.

Rhonda Westley's Mom

[daveydow1]

Betsy----Good luck with the move.I moved here 5 mo. ago, and am still

looking for things. I'm probably not as organized as you, though.

Carol---Glad to hear that Ralph is coming along ok on the road to recovery.

That was a nice little nap you had in the car. Sometimes a short 'catnap'

will do wonders. (Smarter than I think I am??.....I don't know about that, Carol...lol)

Leah---Prayers for you & your daughter. It's good that you talked with the

sherrif, and voiced your concerns. Your daughter, no doubt, wants to leave

but is fearful-----especially if the boyfriend is threatening & violent.

It's good you have let her know that you are there for her whenever she

decides to make the move. Just knowing this will probably be a great comfort

to her, and knowing that she has a place to go if she can get away from him.

Peace & comfort, friend.

To our experts---Eric, and Dan------Thanks so much for the good step-by-step

instructions on how to carry out the functions that we all like to use in our

posts.

I missed a lot of posts, and will try to catch up when I can. The grandies (age 3 & 5)

are coming today for a 2-night sleepover, so I had to be on here early.

PEACE & TRANQUILITY TO ALL IN THE BI FAMILY.

Davey&Lisasmom, Sherry

[daveydow1]

Don't know how that happened.....???? (Rhonda's earlier post)

[daveydow1]

How can I change David's avatar.....it looks "squashed" as it is right now--??

Thanks for any help.

[westleysmom]

Sherry-I was wondering if there was an echo in here! I really can't get the hang of the new site very well either. I'm liable to do anything on here. I tried to update profile and display stuff, but it doesn't seem to be working. Oh, well, maybe practice will make perfect.

Colleen-Thanks, I guess I know that, but its hard to accept. I just keep thinking that as bad as its been, it has to get better. It will seem like it is for a little while, and then I wake up. Haha. Only half kidding. I know you all know what I'm going through, though and it helps to know about the light at the end of the tunnel that is

hopefully not a train.

Rhonda Westley's Mom

[Eric]

How can I change David's avatar.....it looks "squashed" as it is right now--??

Thanks for any help.

Hey! Just to answer your question, the forum will automatically resize any picture for an avatar that isn't the size it needs to be. If you wanted to change it so it didnt looked squished you can usually use microsoft paint. If you select resize in paint, change the format to pixels and the longest edge on the avatar should be 90 pixels. Then just save it and upload and it shouldn't squish your picture for you! if you have any other questions feel free to send me a PM or ask away!

I tried to resize it for you real quick, just download this photo and it should be the right size for the avatar. Let me know if you have any problems!

[lolynbo]

Lorri, it was to hot to work very long in my basement yesterday so I came upstairs and while watching the news I saw a girl that reminded me of Kourtney. The girl was handing out water somewhere.

WARMED MY HEART...THANK YOU SO MUCH...I CAN VISION THAT

I SLEPT TIL 11...THE TWINS ARE HEALING...SLOWLY ...JUST ITCHING REALLY BAD

[daveydow1]

OK----I'm totally lost with changing David's Avatar

Guess his avatar will have to remain "squashed" for awhile.

Thanks ERIC, for the resizing of the avatar pic, but there used to

be a place to click for putting up an AVATAR....can't find it now.

Rhonda....I know-----I feel like the biggest dumb bell. Guess I should

be happy that I even got on here. We'll get the hang of it in due time...maybe.

[mikesmomrs]

Sherry...don't worry, we will all get there eventually. I just successfully (YAY!) changed my avatar...

you go to the upper right corner of the screen, where your name is. click on your name. then click on my profile. on the new screen, click in left hand box that is titled "Change profile information" click on "change avatar" then you will see a place that says "browse' then you can upload the pic you want for the avatar. I hope you find success...if not, we can keep trying...it's definitely worth it to see that sweet David's wonderful smile!

[Guest msnher]

Sherry - maybe I can help. Maybe. Left click on the down arrow by your name in the upper right corner of your screen. Left click on "my profile". About midway up the screen, on the right hand side, it will say edit my profile - left click. On the left side of your screen you will see a list of options; left click on "change avatar". Left click on "remove avatar" under Davey's picture. Kind of in the middle of the screen...lower and left...there will be a browse button. Upload from there and save changes.

Coincidence? I think not.

The kids and I are in the check out line in Wal Mart, behind two firemen. They introduce themselves to the kids. I used to rent to one of them, which I remembered. They told us which station they worked at....by Stephanie's crash site. I tell them my daughter died a year ago by their station. Both of them responded to her accident and remembered. I asked them why, if Stephanie died immediately, was she pronounced dead an hour later, at the hospital. They explained because they kept trying to save her, hoping...hoping. But, she had already bled out and there was no hope.

The children had more meaning to them when they found out they were Stephanie's children. I showed them a picture of Stephanie. I told them about the birds and the dream of her ascending into heaven getting brighter and brighter. The one was holding back tears. I told them this has been the most painful of experiences, but definitely the most spiritual. All while standing in line at the checkout. I didn't care whom else heard.

I thanked them for trying to save my daughter and thanked them for talking to me. He said, "No. Thank you for talking to us!"

Still rearranging furntiure and cleaning....Next I will paint the walls...when the kids start school.....