Loss of an Adult Child

[ericasmom]

Sherry, love that saying and I have never heard of it. Now Col, Pat-io furniture I have heard, about a million times from my husband. Ahh, he loves that one. Today I learned about the pinching if you are not wearing green, never heard that before. (What do you want, I am Sicilian  half Sicilian and half mix of mostly Scottish, Irish, and a weeee bit German). I don't make the meal anymore, did when the kids were little but have never loved corned beef adn cabbage. I hope however, that Sue's corned beef will be grand, and that the time spent at parades and events today were super. Betty, how cool that your folks were here from Ireland. Have you gone to their homeland?

Actually I read some trivia to the students today, one that spoke about the shamrock, and that 4-leaf clover are not rare, that 1 in 40 clover are 4 leaf clover. It was a fun day and warm, 65 at recess time, a perfect run out your energy day. Nice for us all. Tomorrow more of the same adn then clouds and some drizzle on Friday, cooler, cooler, possibly snow on Saturday. Hey, how does that work? Often in the Chicago are, we get snow on and off well into April.

Yep Sherry, I don't quite know how to wrap my brain and heart around the number but have to, will find a way. We can lean on everyone here adn each other as we find our steps into this next number.

Deneace, Rosie, Pam, Mary, and all those I am not naming, may you find your way today into the sunlight of tomorrow. Knowing how painful this early time on the journey is, just know that we are here holding your hands, leaving our footprints in the rocky hills and valleys of this path. One day, one day, it will be a pretty day again.

dee

[briansdad]

I read an article today about a family that lost their 18 year old son what his Dad says in this little excerpt just about sums things up.

"What we're experiencing is without a doubt every parent's nightmare," Dan Mayasich said. "But this ... looking out on this loving and caring collection of friends and family is every parent's dream. How odd, and yet how beautiful is it to have those two very different forces at play simultaneously."

One week later, the Brophy lacrosse team played its first game of the season against Chandler High School. The entire team wore gray undershirts that read "WE ARE ONE" and feature a pink No. 8. On the sidelines that day, Robby's sister, Frances, and his girlfriend, Sarah, each wore one of his jerseys. Teammates took turns holding Robby's pink stick. Brophy won 10-6, as one of Robby's pall bearers scored four goals and had one assist.

One week later Dan Mayasich reflected, remarkably enough, on the gift he had received. He thought back to a week or so to the evening when he addressed the Brophy community inside the school's chapel.

"I wanted them to know what an amazing and actually 'joyful' thing it was for us to be experiencing," Dan Mayasich said. "And how unusual or odd it could possibly be ... but ultimately how lovely ... to be using the word 'joy' in the face of such tragedy, horror, sadness. I then had them consider that this thing they're all seeing, this magic they're all feeling in the chapel, it's actually there in all of their kids, all of the time. They just don't realize it. It's like this invisible thing that shows itself only when it's called upon, but it's always there for everyone, not just our son. Perhaps THAT is God?

[Guest]

Greg - Wow!  Thanks for sharing the article.

Dee - Thinking of you as Eri's birthday draws closer. 

All other Indigo's....wishing you the best day possible under the circumstances!

Susannah/Stephanie's mom

[hotrod]

Good Morning Indigos

I would just like to say "Thank You  to everyone for our little celebration of St. Patrick's Day,  It was delightful to sign on and see all the efforts to honor the Day.

Colleen and Greg's Jokes- Dee, Sue, Sherry's, Lorrie  and Bonnie's  Irish sayings, the Green typing from Mary Ann, Susannah, Kathy and all Good wishes  from Sonya and the other Indigos  all added up to help make the day special. 

 I have found if I just do one small thing to recognize the events unfolding in each  Holiday  I feel better and I find  sweet memories of Stephen in the Day. 

I really apprecaite knowing this special group know as "The Indigos".

Greg , as Susannah said that article is certainly special   Thank you for taking the time to share it.

Beth. Leah. Trudie, Kim, Rosie, Dan, Marcia , Denance, Carol, Betsy, and Claudia    and all the other Indigos

Have a Blessed Day

Betty

Stephen'smom:)

[shorty16]

Good Morning Indigo's

What another beautiful day in WI (60 degrees and sunny)until the weekend when we get snow and rain (I am not kidding).

Today is the day the Lord has made - Let us be glad and rejoice in it!!!!

I try to say that to myself every morning.  Does not always work, but works more often than not.

Thinking of my friends and their angels - Always.

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever

[mpsmom]

Hello Indigos, The sun is shining, it should be 78 today, the same as it was yesterday, my bird feeders are full, the little birds flitting around outside my window. I am looking forward to meeting all the 'new' Indigo's in Arkansas.(and of course all seeing the Indigo's that I already know)  Greg - do you have a count on how many are coming yet?   I am sorry I do not post more often, I found it very healing to do so before in the early days, but also found myself not able to stay away from the forums and my "necessary" things were piling up higher and higher, the stress of always being behind threw my life so far out of balance.  The balance that was so hard to find in the first place.  I read ever day or two and think about everyone all the time, I see your children's faces when I close my eyes and know that my Bethany is in good company.  As some of you know I also run a Compassioante Friends group that I formed 8 months after Bethany died, some weeks the phone calls are many and talking to newly bereaved parents is all I have the strength to do, I truly feel it is something I am supposed to be doing at this time in my life.  I wish I didnt know how it felt to lose my only child, but I do.  Kelly (from BI admin) contacted me recently and asked me to post my video on a link they have established here on BI thru Utube.  The man who put the video together for us is working on making the format work for it.  She also asked me to spread the word, anyone who has a video she would like it if you would like to share it..... "sharing is healing"........  I miss you all, you are my lifeline to the world and my connection  to the heavens. 

Many Bigs Hugs, I love you all !!!

     Marcia    Bethany's Mom Forever

[ericasmom]

Hi All,

it is beautiful here today, about 63 and sunny and mild. Lovely.

My students are active little creatures, we will have to fit in another recess this afternoon as they have spring fever, so do I.

My allergies are really ramped up, my eyes are tearing and my throat is dry as dust. I am on two meds each day and still get like this. But if that is the price to pay for this delightful weather, then oh well.

Betty, I love that you said that if you acknowledge a holiday even if it is in a small way, you are feeling better. How very true, sometimes we have to force ourselves but we are often glad that we did.

Love,

dee

[ericasmom]

Hey Marcia,

no worries, I am just glad to see your Girl's pretty self, adn to know that you are out there in the universe lending your heart to those who also suffer.

Love,

dee

[mikesmomrs]

Hello everybody:  yes, it is a beautiful day here, also...sunny and warm, 68 earlier---a gift.  Can't shake the feeling though that this could be only a teaser...we get some mighty fierce snow storms here during March sometimes...hopefully not this year, though.    Damon is here today, all day, and boy is he full of energy.  Hubby had to go for his second kidney scan this morning, and Damon came with us.  He was in the waiting room for at least 45 minutes, playing at the kids table.  He was so good...a couple of people there commented on how good he was doing.  We read some books to break the monotony, so that used up some time.  On the way home, we stopped at the playground and he was tickled pink to be able to get out and run around.  Then he wanted to play soccer out front...our front yard is a hill that goes up from the street to the house...guess who spent most of the time running down the street, retrieving the ball!  Whew!  These legs aren't as young as they used to be...

Dee:  So sorry to hear about your allergies...I took shots for 18 years, and finally quit, since then, though, the meds seem to do the job, mostly.  I take Xyzal or something like that, helped along with eye drops and steroid nasal spray when necessary. 

Marcia, it is so good to see Bethany's sweet smile, and to hear from you.  I know how things can "pile up," though I no longer have the daytime responsibilities that you do.  I know that Bethany is sou proud of you for the way you are reaching out and helping so many others...sending prayers and love.

Lorri:  I am so very sorry that you are feeling so alone...it can really get to you.  I am blessed that I still have hubby, and of course, Cathi, but I don't have many friends to talk to about Mike...we all know that road, don't we... I forget who it was who posted the story about the gentleman who was asked why he still attends a grief support group while his child died 4 years previous, and his reply was "he's still dead, isn't he?"  We all know that dad's feelings, and his needs, don't we... 

Thinking of all of you...busy these days with Damon and doctor's appointments. 

Hubby and I got new phones yesterday, and the first thing we did was transfer Mike's two messages that we have, and also put his picture back on the wallpaper for the front of the phone...a gut-wrenching thought struck me at the time..."almost four years...how can that be..."  I thought for about 1/100th of a second about changing the picture on the front of the phone, but my breath stopped just thinking about thinking about it...so he's back on the front of my phone.  I see his face every time I turn on the phone...smiling at me, the last ball game we went to---he actually got a ball from the game---he was SO psyched!  The pic shows his face swollen from the steroids, and his hand is covered with the black and blue marks from their last attempt at chemotherapy, but that smile is overriding it all...on the way home that night I realized it was the beginning of the end...he went to bed the next day and never got up again...

I love you so much, my son, and miss you more than ever I could find the words to say...

love and peace, Carol  mikesmomrs

[daveydow1]

Carol---What a great pic of Mike in his Boston Red Sox shirt. Thanks for

posting & making it his avatar.

Dee---So nice here today. My husband & I went for a stroll in the park,and

 took in the nature photography exhibit in the gallery at the visitor's center.

While walking, we paused to sit down & listen to a lovely cardinal....high up

in a tree singing his heart out. We listened for a long time, and he wouldn't

fly away, so we kept listening. We spotted him...way up there, then he moved

to another spot, and resumed his song. Just a lovely, warm, spring day.....early

flowers blooming, and birds singing. It sure made our day. Then off we went to

get Chinese for supper. Are you able to go for your walks in nature when your

allergies are acting up, or does the meds take care of that enough so that you

can go out?

Marcia----So good to see sweet Bethany's smile.

TO ALL INDIGOES------HAVE A NICE EVENING AND PEACE TO YOU.

               Davey&Lisasmom,   Sherry    

[mikesmomrs]

Sherry:  thanks for your sweet words about Mike's pic...funny, though, I can't see it on his avatar yet...I wonder if I have to post again first?  I already tried logging out and back in, but it didn't change anything.  Guess I will have to wait and see...

I am glad that you got to enjoy the nature today..yes, it has been beautiful out...balm for the soul...most of the time.  (Sometimes it saddens me, as this was Mike's favorite time of year--he suffered from seasonal affective disorder, and winter was a bummer for  him mostly, so he really looked forward to spring.)  But, I do enjoy it, and enjoy it more, in his honor. 

love and peace,  Carol  mikesmomrs

[ericasmom]

Carol, Mike looks so damn sweet in the photo holding the ball. It is the heart that shows through no matter the meds. His heart shows through and lets you know how very dear the day was, how very dear all of the days were. The fact that his last game was that day, that he lay down after that and was not to get up again makes this even more poignant. I cried when I read you words, so aptly speaking from your heart, adn yes, hard to believe that 4 y ears could pass without his jokes and antics. Somehow, the Kids gave us a lifetime of those. Our special jokes and sayings and times are stored in our hearts, our dna. Thinking of you Carol with a big hug adn a big smile.

Sherry, allergies are very bad very early this year but it really does not stop me unless I get a sinus infection or ear infection as a secondary to the allergy. I do get those but the meds make that not happen as often. I am however starting to sound like Foghorn-Leghorn. Probably look like him too. I am so happy that your husband and you strolled together, sitting on the park bench listening. So nice that he joins in to th elove of nature with you.

Peace tonight and each

[summergirl]

Hello Indigo's - just a quick stop to say hello and hope all is well. Beautiful here today as well...in the 60's, close to 70 tomorrow and Saturday and then the rain returns but no complaints....

Carol - love the pic, what a sweet face your boy has.

Marcia - so good to see Bethany's smiling face and to know that you are doing well. I am so glad that you are able to do what you do for bereaved parents....I believe you were meant for it and I am positive you are helping many.

Greg - thank you for sharing...uplifting.

To all Indigo's...thinking of you always....Kathy 

[lolynbo]

KODY JUST PURCHASED THIS NEW (SLIGHTLY USED)..RACING SUIT....IT WAS THE PIT CREW OF REED SORENSON....(ACTUAL DRIVER OF NASCAR)...AS U CAN SEE HE IS SO EXCEITED....RACING STARTS NEXT WK END

[lolynbo]

IDK DEE. JUST LATLEY IT FEELS LIKE I HAVE ABSOLUTLEY NO ONE TO TALK TO OR CRY WITH.....

THE OTHER DAY I WAS IN THE TRUCK WITH MONTY AND IT WAS DARK AND I STARTED TO CRY...AND WHEN I STARTED TO TALK ABOUT KOURTNEY...MONTY DID "HUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH".....

I THOUGHT  WHY WOULD HE SIGH WHEN IM HURTING........AND THEN DIDNT SAY ANYTHING....

THEN THEY OTHER DAYI WAS WORRIED ABOUT KIMBERLY BEING IN CANADA..AND I SAID "SHE HASNT EVEN TEXTED ME"....HE SAID "OH GOD DONT START THAT"...SO AFTER NOT TALKING TO HIM FOR 2 DAYS..IVE DECIDED..I CANT AND WONT TALK TO HIM ABOUT KIMBELRY AND MOSTLY KOURTNEY ANYMORE....

I DONT NO WHAT THE DEAL IS..BUT HE JUST ISNT THERE FOR ME ANYMORE....SEEMS LIKE NO ONE IS..MY SISTER HASNT CALLED ME IN A FEW WKS (BAD RECEPTION)..WE TEXT A LIL BUT THATS IT...

BUT LEAST I HAVE YAL... THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH...FOR BEING THERE FOR ME...

[ericasmom]

Lorri, do you think tha tMonty just feels that he cannot talk about Kourt anymore because he becomes too blue? DO you think he feels you should be done needing to talk about her? No matter what he is thinking, if you two don't start a dialogue about it, it could drive you apart. What would happen if you just sit with him and ask him what does he feel when you bring up missing Kourtney? What happens when You worry about Kimberly? He may not really understand that his reaction is causing a reaction in you. He might not really be in touch with what he is feeling to begin with. Maybe in some hidden part of his brain, he felt that after a certain amount of time, that things would be normal again, and not finding normal might be making im sigh. I wonder if he is aware of sighing. Actually, sighing was something that my homeopathic doctor felt was a significant sign of my grief. (this was a few years ago) That sighing often can indicate the huge weight of our sadness and sometimes depression. So while men adn women rarely griee at the same pace, or in the same ways, perhaps a talk with him might help you both understand where you are on the topic of loss and worry. Prayers for you to not feel so lonely. And I am glad too, for you-all, for the constant support of this family.

Dee

[namb1992]

hope everyone had a good st. patricks day.  My Nate loved st. pats just so he could dress up in green.  It was so nice in Wisconsin yesterday.  I believe 65 degrees and sunny.  I went and sat by Nate for about an hour just talking about everything.  It felt good to be by him.  I just really missed his sarcastic humor.  I know alot of the indigos are getting together this summer but I am having a hard time piecing everything together so if someone wants to give me the info I would think of coming.  My daughter is being very cruel lately and I am in a need of some time away.   kim

[ericasmom]

Kim, I am sorry that your Girl is being mean. I have forgotten how old she is. Is she reacting to your grief, or her anger that her Brother died? Another example of how disjointed we can all become, that somehow, we need our Children to speak when they can to tell us how they are feeling. I think that sometimes they hold things in so as not to upset us, or what they preceive will upset us, and then they hold it all in and become resentful sometimes, just over burdened other times. I wish I could help. DOn't know that I will be going to Arkansas either, just a hard time to get away.

Be well,

dee

[hotrod]

Good Morning Indigos

 

Another beautiful Morning in NYC.

 

So glad to hear that many of us are enjoying the wonderful feeling of the warm sunshine .  I will be heading out shortly  to get some chores done and then I intend to head to Central Park, and enjoy the Zoo.  I have many happy memories of the Park and Stephen as a child.  Dee I do hope you are feeling better and that your allergies are responding to the meds and that your long walks in nature are not being troubled by them.. 

Carol The picture of Mike is so very special.  I am so glad you were both able to share that moment and that it is captured on film and i too had a tear as I was  reading.  Damon would make any situation better I am glad he was with you and hubby yesterday.

 

Sherry Wow what a special day  Walking with Hubby, hearing a serenade from the cardinal and then Chinese  Sounds like a perfect day

 

Marcia  So good to see sweet Bethany when I signed on.  The Compassionate Friends group is very fortunate to have your leadership . Your  contribution will be  invaluable

 

Kim  Glad to see Nate's handsome face and to learn a little more about his sense of Humor and how he enjoyed wearing Green on St Patrick's Day.   Coming here does help when the rest of the world closes in.   

 

Lorrie I loved the picture of Kody and his "new racing suit"  Stephen was so proud when he purchased his!!!

 

Sue, Susannah,Mary Ann, Lynn, Betsy, Beth, Leah, Rosie , Trudie, Claudia, Colleen , Greg and Dan and all indigos  thinking of you and wishing you "Peace and Enough"

Betty

Stephen'smom:)

[lostwoher]

Just stopping in for a quick hello. "HELLO!"

thinking of you all. enjoy the springlike weather because it looks like we are in for another bout of cold with snow showers.

Hugs to YOU!

Lynn

[Guest]

Kim - http://www.bereavedparentsusa.org/Gathering.html  That site has all the information about the reunion.  I think Greg is keeping a head count of who's going.  I'm going and am now looking forward to meeting as many Indigo's as possible.  I am flying in on the 8th and flying home on the 12th.  I will be staying at the same hotel as the "gathering".  I will have to wait and see how I feel when I get there before determining which lectures or workshops or classes I attend.

Lorri- I hope you and Monty work out this communication "gap" that seems to be occurring between you.  The "sigh" you speak of is an invitation to war with me.  Quiet, shy woman that I'm not.  LOL  I don't think I could stuff my grief and feelings if I wanted to.  It's just not in my makeup to do so.  I'm SO glad I have you guys to vent to because I know it becomes a heavy burden for Gary when he's the only one I'm venting to.  He feels the need to "fix" it and this just can't be fixed. 

My grief seems to have taken a turn (again).  The other day I ran into several people who reminded me of Stephanie.  I wondered if that horrible pain was on its way back.  So far, though, it hasn't hit.  I wonder if I've achieved "acceptance".  But, it's too early for acceptance, so I'm watching from the sidelines, as it were, to see what pops up. 

I'm sure I'll let you all know when it happens.  LOL

Betty - enjoy your walk and the zoo.   Precious memories of you and your son.

We have snow and 40 degree weather, so it will melt fast.  We usually get a real heavy snow in April.  So, I know it isn't over, yet.  I'm sure looking forward to summer!

Love and peace to all of you!

Susannah/Stephanie's mom

[mpsmom]

Good morning Indigos, The sun is shining here this morning, it is supposed to be another 75 degree day.....summer is on the way in my part of the country.

I would like to share this video with anyone who wants to look at it, it is not about greif or losing our children, it is just a nice video on U-tube.  It brought a smile and some tears to my eyes this morning, happy tears...

http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=BGODurRfVv4

Hoping all are having a good day. Will see you all in Arkansas in July.

Hugs,,,, Marcia     Bethany's Mom Forever

 

[andrewsmother]

My dear Friends...

Just wanted to stop in and say hello to everyone...Today is Andrew's 3rd month angelversary so needless to say not a very good day for me!  We had our first family dinner last night for my nephews 28th birthday, and Andrew's absence was very noticeable, it was very sad, our first family get together without him.  My sister had a dream about him last night were she would walk to her kitchen and would say she couldn't believe he wasn't there to celebrate Alex's birthday, she then looked over to the dinner table and he was sitting there and said to her..."What do you mean?  I was there the whole time!"...Every single dream any of us has had of him with any significance has happened on his 1st, 2nd or 3rdmonth angelversary...I think he is definetely trying to tell us something.  Overall I am feeling a little better, my searing pain has turned into this big grey sadness...I notice it more when I leave work and have time to think, working is actually good therapy for me, thankfully they have been wonderful at work.  Going away with my husband to the Florida Keys this weekend, I need a little time away from home and a change of scenery, hopefully catch a few sunsets and do a little fishing.  I'm hoping the weather is nice! 

I hope everyone is doing well...under our terrible circumstances.  I think of all of you everyday and try to read your posts on my blackberry, but I'm too far now to catch up.

Blessings to all of you my indigo friends,

Rosie, Andrew's mom

[averysdad]

Just wanted to say hi, it's been such a long time since I've written anything. I still do check in quite often, and I'm pretty sure I always will.

Since I was last here I've had laser eye surgey, major dental work, and bought a truck, it seems like I was trying to make major changes, hoping it would help somehow, but I always return to my sad lonely spot, the only difference is that most of it is inside, I only let people see what they want to see now.

Attached is a picture of a tattoo my wife got last year, it's of all our children, Avery is in the middle with the halo and wings.

I think of you all a lot, and enjoy catching up when I can

Dale

[ericasmom]

Dale, l know the sad spot you speak of, and I know the physical things we do to make changes in our lives, hoping...and they do change us some, it took energy to make those changes so that is good. Now you have the rest of this day and the next to deal with and two children adn a wife to spend time with. Sometimes, being alone feels easier, nobody counting on you, but that side has its hard spots to, and basically, we all have that sad hole in us. Or as Rosie put it, the big gray sadness.

Dale, Rosie, good to see you both because we care about you, but sad for the place you find yourselves. Love that your Son is letting you and the family know that he is right there alongside you. Always.Good to get away Rosie, have fun. Dale, tell your wife that I love her tats. I love the halo and wings.

Happy Vernal Equinox All, may we all remember that our Kids are the epitomy of spring-rebirth.

[briansdad]

Ok if you want to see the videos on the beyond indigo youtube you need to subscribe to it.No it doesn't cost money.If you want one posted send it to me.

http://www.youtube.com/user/BeyondIndigo?feature=mhw4

Greg

[daveydow1]

Carol---Mike's avatar is so nice. I hope you get the technical side of it worked

out. .

Dee---Good to hear that your meds keeps your allergies under control pretty

much. Luckily, I don't have allergies (spring fever type).....my older daughter

used to be allergic to the horse....(animal dandruff)...causing hay fever-like

symptoms.

Kim---Good to see Nat smiling out on BI.

Marcia----What a darling video of the Surfing Dog. Just goes to show that even

in the animal kingdom, there is a place where one finds his 'calling'. Thanks for

posting.

Dale---Nice to see your dear son, Avery's, smile too. Your wife's tatoos are nice.

Rosie----Sorry you are feeling in a dark place. 3 mo. is such a short short time on

this road. I think your son is telling you that he is ok, and always near. There

is no time or distance where our babies are now. They are always with us.

Betty---Oh yes....this spring weather is doing a lot of good for shooing away the

'blue times':). Of all things that might help me when I'm near that black hole area,

I believe that nature and BI are at the top.

        Davey&Lisasmom,   Sherry 

[summergirl]

Dale - "I only let people see what they want to see now" - how true that is, we wear the mask to hide the pain, I have several masks depending on the situation and whom I am with.   Love the tatoo your wife got...beautiful.

Lorrie - been there with Barry on the "sigh"....listen to Dee, she is right. There are many times that I have tried to talk about Jessica, tears falling and Barry would walk away....at one point he got really angry and said "Jessica is dead, do you understand that, she is dead" - I slapped him across the face and told him never to say that to me again....then we talked, really talked....we both had to learn how to accept the fact that we were dealing with Jessica being gone in different ways, the same but different.  It is so important to talk openly about your feelings and that is something that Barry had a really hard time doing, he grieved on the inside. He also felt that he needed to be strong for me and thought that if we didn't talk about anything then life would go back to normal...it wasn't until after we really talked that things changed between us....we still have our moments but now give strength to each other...Talk, my friend, talk to him.

Tavian and his friend Damien are having fun playing lego's right now..so nice to see Tavian have a friend stay over and do things with him...soon it is ice cream and a movie. I will be tired tomorrow but it is worth it... 

Bj left the rehab...

I love you all and think of all of you always...Sweet dreams my friends. Kathy

[ericasmom]

Greg Dear,

I know the singer told me not to drop a tear, but I did. I dropped many. I loved seeing Brian so filled by the day, by sharing his time with you and the fish. I love that he lived a good life and really, I do not drop tears for him, he is better than fine. It is for you, for your family, for all of us and our families. Smiling too, because it is times such as these that reaffirm my belief that they are fine beyond measure.

Thanks Greg.

Kathy, glad that the kids are playing and having fun. I am also glad that you added your story in about you and Barry for Lorri. I think that it is important for couples to know that we do grieve differently sometimes, and when we are not on even keel with each other, it can send the marriage into a tail-spin. I agree, my husband too wanted to fix things, and not being ERi adn JOn's dad, he grieved very differently than me. We found our way but I do know that at times, he felt that he would never be able to do enough to fill the hole, so I put his mind to rest, you can't . NObody can, the hole is the hole put there for good reason, the forever missing of my Baby. No amount of good things makes it disappear, though it will be better, it will not ache as it did each day, the hole will be integrated into our lives adn it becomes a private place to sit with your Child, with my Child. So we find our way but communication is huge here. Could be that your husband, Lorri, feels like he can't help you enough. NOthing easy about maneuvering the mine fields of grief.

I am sorry, very sorry that BJ left rehab. Maybe next time Kathy, please go back into protect yourself mode now. Have the numbers handy of the women that you can rely on.

Love to you.

[lolynbo]

ANDREW ANDREW ANDREW...HEAVENLY ANGEL ANDREW...

LOVE THE TATTOO..IM LOOKN FOR ME A NEW ONE TOO...READY JUST DONT WHO OR WHATS ITS GONNA BE YET BUT GOT IDEAS FLOATIN IN MY HEAD...

I WONT KILL MONTY YET...IM JUST GONNA BREATH...

DO YAL RECOGNIZE THIS GIRL? KIMBERLY A FEW YEARS AGO MODELING..I REALLY CANT ALMOST RECOGNIZE HER MYSELF..

[Guest]

Lorri - Beautiful picture of Kourtney.  I can certainly see the family resemblence!

Sorry about the name confusion in my response to you earlier.  I woke thinking of Trudi this morning, and I inadvertently wrote her name instead of yours.

I have writer's block.  I had only slept for about an hour when I woke with a wealth of words pouring into my subconscious.  Quickly, or as quickly as I could muster, I grabbed my laptop to write out my own geniousness (is that a word?).  Gone.  Zip.  Nada.  Not even a comma.  

My geniousness will have to wait........

I hope you all are resting better than I.

Susannah/Stephanie's mom

[mikesmomrs]

Betty:  I hope you enjoyed your walk and your trip to the zoo…I wish we lived close enough to a zoo so we could take the kids…the nearest one is down, just outside of Boston, but is surrounded by neighborhoods that have become less than safe, so we haven’t been in ages.   I am so glad that you are able to get out and about and enjoy some of those treasured memories you have of things that you and Stephen did together. 

Dee:  thinking of Jon as the end of the month approaches...sending prayers for strength and peaceful memories to surround him...and you.

Susannah:   I am sorry that you feel you are on the downswing again…I pray you are able to pass through it quickly and be at peace soon…  Sorry about your losing your "geniousness," and I hope you are able to get back to sleep soon.  I hope to just get to sleep soon, though likely won't sleep much this weekend.

Sherry:  I finally have been able to see that Mike’s avatar has changed…wonder why it took so long?  Oh, well, doesn’t matter…it’s there now, and that’s what counts. 

Trudi:  I think you were supposed to return home today, if I am not mistaken…I hope you and Mal had a wonderful trip, filled with reconnections and peaceful moments.…and good weather. 

Marcia:  Thank you for sharing the video…it was uplifting and enjoyable to watch…brought smiles and tears as this person and Ricochet have contributed so much. 

Greg:  Watching your video of Brian was inspiring and heartwarming…such great memories, and I am so glad that you have them all on video.  I am afraid we were not into video taking much---we have some from the very early years, but not much from the adult years.  Regrets, for sure, but we do have tons of pictures, and for that I am so grateful.  You did a great job with your video…sends out love and pride and joy to those who watch it.  Thanks for sharing.

Rosie:  Thinking of you as you go through these rough early days.  Your sister’s dream was surely Andrew letting you know that he is always with you, and always will be. 

Betsy:  I hope you are doing okay…finding some way to enjoy this warm weather…we never know in this part of the country (in all parts, now, I guess) what March holds in store for us…so this weather has been such a gift. 

Kathy:   My heart is with you…as Dee wrote, please keep your promises made to yourself…seek out your support…stay strong.  I am so sorry. 

Lorri:  Kim is so strikingly beautiful…  Has she gotten a final word on the new job yet?   I pray that you and Monty are able to come together again in support of each other…as others have said…talk, talk, talk.  Letting it slip to the background will likely only help to make it worse.  Talk. 

We took the boys to the beach today…we had all three, and they can get really rambunctious when they are all together.  After playing soccer with Damon for two days in a row, these old legs needed a break, so we took them out there to play.  They didn’t get to kick the ball around (too many people) but they totally enjoyed running and walking on the beach…Damon got to do his favorite thing---pitching rocks out into the water…I think he would stand there all day and night if he was allowed to!  They had a great time in the playground, as well…they have a terrific playground at this beach, huge, and fairly new---lots of activities.  We got a couple of pics…took them with my new phone---can’t believe how sharp they are.  Damon is being funny in the car, eating his apple and making faces.  Chandler and Kam, buddies as always.  I am so glad that they are close.  On the way home, Chandler told us that he is “playing the punch buggy game again.”  (We all play the punch buggy game in Mike’s honor---he played it from the time he was five, right up til the last time he rode in a car), and Chandler chose to not join in, until today.  I was so glad for him. 

Got some upsetting news today about hubby’s tests…as I have mentioned before, he was told a couple of months ago that he has a large cyst on his kidney and they would keep watch on it.  (I have one also, and we jokingly refer to them as our "joint effort")   The results of his recent tests have brought about a call from the doctor’s office for a conference on Monday…shaking in my shoes.  After a few hours of speculation and worry, Hubby finally called the office back this afternoon to try to get some info before the weekend, and the doctor relayed through his nurse that they “found a lump on your kidney and the doctor wants to discuss ‘options.’ “   I won’t breathe again til Monday afternoon…if then.  I am trying to hold onto my “mask” that I have become so accustomed to wearing, so as not to worry him further, but it is difficult---what’s left of my heart is quivering in fear.  I am glad that the kids are here this weekend to keep us occupied.  After the phone calls, Hubby went to pick up Chandler by himself today and stopped on the way to Dunkin Donuts for coffee (his guilty pleasure).  The change had four pennies in it: when he opened his hand, three were tails up and one was heads up in his hand.  The heads up one was "1975."  He feels it was Mike telling him it will be okay...I agree.  To us, "okay" doesn't mean nothing's wrong; it means that we will get through it...which is all I dare ask for. 

Here are a couple of pics from today (took these with my new phone; can't believe how clear and sharp they are):

Damon making faces at me while eating his apple

Chandler reliving being a toddler

Buddies:  Chandler and Kam

I hope all have a pleasant weekend...I haven't watched the weather report lately, but hope this weather continues..rain would surely NOT help my mood right now...

Thinking of all Indigos...Mary ann, Claudia, Bonnie, Colleen, Leah, Beth (I hope Elisha is doing okay), Lynn, Dan, Sue, Sonya (you okay?), and anyone I have not mentioned...thinking of you all and as always, holding you close in prayer. 

love and peace,  carol  mikesmomrs

.

[Guest]

 Carol - I may be the only person I know who gets worried when I seem to be doing okay!  LOL  I haven't begun the "downswing" yet, but I am at a different turn...again.  This whole experience is so new, that even the "good" times feel differently than before. 

Don'tcha think that doctors could wait until Monday to call with incomplete news if they aren't going to see you until then anyway instead of allowings their patients to spend two days of their lives imagining the worst?  Especially if said patients have already lived through the worst?  Or, just tell them the truth on Friday, for Heaven's sake!  There should be no medical cliff-hangers allowed on Fridays.

You are doing far better than I would be if I were in your shoes!  I will pray for you and your husband!

Speaking of praying.........we talked about that a while back and I've noticed I say it a lot.  I actually DO it a lot, too.  Maybe it helps the outcome and maybe it doesn't.  What I believe it does do is send positive energy and focus to the person(s) in need.  At any rate, prayer helps me feel better.

Love and light!

Susannah/Stephanie's mom

[shorty16]

Indigos

Well, its snowing in Wisconsin!  It was 60 and sunny yesterday!>?!?

I am confused.

Please send warm thoughts my way

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever

[mikesmum]

Hey Indigos.  So many posts, such familiar faces.  Suffice to say the trip was a 'beautiful distraction'.  From the Wineries of Margaret River, the Indian Ocean sunsets and the just being it was wonderful. 

Things that came from ponderances away.....

Mike loved the beach till his friend was injured (quadraplegic) back in 199??....Its where I go to just be.

A part of me is always going to be sad - it varies daily without notification, rhyme or reason.

Not everything in everyone elses life revolves around Mikes death and thats how it should be. 

Some of my pics...you know there are heaps!!

Mullaloo Beach - There were no birds till I put my shells in the sand....

Change in the weather....love storms over the ocean

Sunset over the beaches South West coast

Shop in Albany

Belltower in Perth.  The bells are from St Martins in the field church London....we were there this time last year.

The beauty of the coast

The sunsetting on our Indigo's

I checked my emails in the last days away and found a 'Friends Request' on Facebook from my daughter......

http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/group.php?gid=10150134303755578&ref=ts

She never really mentions Mike......moreso because I guess she watched her mum crumble beyond recongition for those first years.  

"What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others."

[cassandra]

Good Morning everyone. It's cold up here in Canada this morning as well!  Just when I thought spring had finally arrived we woke up yesterday morning to a dusting of snow. The lake is breaking up nicely and snowmobilling has come to an end for the season. Thanks ladies for your kind words of support. I had hesitated in replying as I have never participated on a forum before. Carol, your son Mike could be a twin for my Jeff. They are so similar in appearance that it is scary. I have to find a decent pic of hinm to post. Unfortunately he was always a real kidder and most pictures of hin are just plain silly. Wearing a Minnesota Vikes helmet, a beer stein in his hand or making goofy faces. I'm having a terrible time trying to find one to use for his memorial service this summer. We did not have his service yet as it was his wish to have his ashes scattered over the trail and lake where we live.  I feel as if I have found a good place to open up. Sharing with those who are also experiencing the same loss is tremendously helpful. I must tell you something funny that happened yesterday. My mother-in-law is in the hospital having had surgery for cancer. Palliative measures only. She is normally a very serious and uptight lady. I spent the day in the city with her and she was being kept very comfortable. They have her fairly highly medicated. I have never laughed so hard or has the staff. She had us all in stitches for most of the day with her comments.  The room was filled with nurses at every given opportunity just to talk to her. I sat there is wonder looking at this frail, old lady who had always been so quiet and reserved. The things that came out of her mouth were hilarious.  I guess it just took the meds to bring it out! Facing another death is also so difficult. It's just so soon after Jeff. She keeps telling me that she sees him standing at the foot of her bed and she tells him that she's not ready yet. That is very difficult to listen to. 

Jeff was a friend to everyone. Saw the good in every last person regardless of their faults. A very kind and compassionate young man. He worked in an office that found employment for the homeless. And he loved his job. When he died they took up a collection on the street to buy flowers and cards. The tributes written to him in those cards gave us a true insight into his beautiful nature. He loved sports. A real Vikes fan. Travelled to Minneapolis regularly to support his team. He was quite a hockey player and played goal until an injury took him out. Hockey,soccer,football,golfing, you name it ...he loved them all. He loved to joke around. The night he died we sat down to dinner and he had tears running down my cheeks I was laughing so hard. That was the type of guy he was. Not a saint by any means, but a really good person. Again, I just want to offer all of you my sympathy for your losses. I know this is a place that none of us would ever volunteer to be in. Yet it's funny how adversity can also bring goodness. Finding caring people to share with is a real blessing for me at ths time. Anyway, have a great day. Off to the hospital again. Hope she'[s still in good humor.

 

Cassandra

[Guest]

Welcome back, Trudi!  Love the pictures.  I hope you had a wonderful time. 

Susannah/Stephanie's mom

[hotrod]

Good Morning Indigos

Wow so many powerful posts!!!!

Cassandra  so very glad to see you found us and have posted.  Welcome  Jeff sounds like a wonderful son. Wow!!What a wonderful tribute to your son,

"When he died they took up a collection on the street to buy flowers and cards. The tributes written to him in those cards gave us a true insight into his beautiful nature. You will treasure these always  I am looking forward to hearing all about him and seeing his picture.  Take care of yourself.  Come here often  We all understand how difficult this journey can be.

Trudie  So good to see Mike's handsome face.  Beautiful site for Mike on Facebook  What a gift to you .  Pictures of your trip are beautiful as usual and your wisdom so "spot on"  I agree I will always have this sanesss and everyone's else's life does not have to center about it.  I can still participate in the world on a limited basis and enjoy.

Carol I loved your pictures of Damon and all your grandchildren   They certainly enjoy their time with Grandma and Grandpa  I will pray for a  positive outcome for your Hubby  I know how hard sitting with this stuff is!!!

Marcia  Thanks for that song and Greg really loved Brian's videa  What a precious treasure you have.!!!

Dee Hope you are feeling better and Susannah glad to hear your journey is a bit easier today.

Dale   Beautiful Tat  I agree no matter what we do the sadness remains

Betsy  Miss seeing Rich's handsome face and seeing your pictures.

Beth thinking of you and your family.

Sherry, Sonya, Maryann, Sue,Bonnie, Rosie, Kim, Lorrie, Lynn and all Indigos Have a soft gentle day

Betty

Stephen'smom 

[Guest]

Cassandra - Not a saint, but just a really good person.  I love it.  Jeff sounds like a wonderful human being.  Thank you for sharing him with us.  I love the story of your mother in law on medication.  Love the fact that she's seen Jeff.  Please keep sharing!  I would love to see the goofy pictures of your son.  Those goofy pictures are priceless treasures.  Most of us believe that our children sent us to Beyond Indigo.  I'm sure Jeff sent you to us.  He must have met our children.  I also believe our children send signs and messages to us letting us know they're okay. 

I hate to say "Welcome" to new people, because I hate the reason that brings you to us..........please accept our "welcome" as an invitation to come in, sit down, rest.  A place where it is safe to cry, rage, rant, vent or laugh.  A place where there is no judgment, only acceptance and love. 

Susannah/Stephanie's mom

[shorty16]

Cassandra

So glad you found us.  On BI, we will say their name every day! JEFF, JEFF, JEFF!!!

All our children left their earthly bodies before their time (as far as we are concerned).  Some from risky behavior, others from nothing they did at all.

Wisconsin also has snow.  My husband was a MN Vikings fan until he came to his scences and now roots for the Packers (HAHA).

I have been to Quebec City and Calgary, Canada, beautiful area with very friendly people.  By the way, your country did an EXCELLENT job with the Olympics.

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever

[ericasmom]

Happy first day of spring, jokes on us though, snowing,from my office nest here at home, the rooftops are white and chimney smoke is billowing form the homes that line our street. Trees are waving hello as the wind whips. It's all good as we know Ms.Spring is one strong cookie adn will whip tired old winter from his hold. Time to move over Winter and they wrestle and tussle until finally, winter moves to the other side of the world, (Trudi's neighborhood) and we face the lengthening days adn the sprouts. Speaking of which, hope they are fine as many grew quite a bit this week of sun and warmth.

Carol, I agee with Susannah, cliffhangers of any sort on Fridays are just not fair. But we know about fairness don't we? I am so proud of you guys, the grace with which you handle difficulty. Playing with the boys, (which of those handsome faces is most like their Daddy's I don't know), and your Hubby checking the pennies in his hand. I love that he checks. Heads up, keep your heads up Mike says with his indelible smile, eyes crinkled with love. Prayers for getting through it all and finding a good resolution.

TRUDI IS HOME! Trud, was thinking so hard about you yesterday and wondered when you might return. Carol has that memory that I never did have so she knew, I did not. I love the photos and love the shells that remembered us, took us with you on the journey. I love that Melissa sent you that message with Mike smiling out at you. Love it. Gifts my friends, gifts from the universe and gifts from our Babies.

Cassandra, I used to pretend my name was yours when I played house as a child. So pretty. I am very sorry that you have joined us and happy at the same time that you have so that you will have a place to take your heart. I have been here for a long time and still feel that I am blessed for it. Erica Eileen Reith died on July 14, 2003. She was 19, her car was hit by a train in Kalamazoo, Michigan at a broken crossing. She was hit on the 8th and died on the 14th. Tonight, I am having dinner with 6 of her closest friends, and so I am blessed by continued contact with these women/girls. Tell us about Jeff, how old was he when he died? When was this sad occurance? And please, goofy photos are welcome, we love them. Eri was like your Boy, I'd venture to say that we have all kind of said the same, no saint...but a very good human. My heart to you as you find your way through the

tangled path we walk.

Lorri, love that photo of Kimberly, one beautiful woman.

going for a spring/winter walk

dee

[shellbellsmom]

Cassandra I too welcome you to come here to share your son's Jeff life with us here...you don't walk alone in this journey...we are all with you.  My daughter was the queen of goofy faces in pictures.  Put a camera in her face and out came her silly side. 

Carol, wonderful pictures of the boys....glad you were able to enjoy the beach.  Sending prayers for you and your hubby.  Hope the appointment Monday goes well.  Stay strong.

Kathy praying BJ finds his way back to rehab quickly.  Stay strong with the tough love. 

Greg what a wonderful video you posted with Brian enjoying life. I have been having a hard time getting motivated to do them myself...this is what I used to do for others with my daughters help with music, now I can't seem to make a tribute video for my daughter.  She is probably up in heaven saying...."I'm waiting".

Lorrie, your Kimmy is truly a beauty.  One of the reasons I think I go to several grief support groups is to have a place to go to talk about the loss of my daughter Michelle....at home my husband and son give me the look every time I bring her up...they want to talk, but just can't yet. 

Trudi what beautiful pictures of your country........thanks for the mini virtual road trip. My Michelle loved the beach too (not ocean here, but great lakes).

Kim be patience with your daughter.  My son went through a phase that he was nasty as hell to me...everything I said he would jump all over me.  Made me so sad he was being so mean but I later found out it was his mis-placed anger about his sister’s death...I was just the one that he took it out on since he knew I had unconditional love for him....as time passed the anger faded. 

Betty, my Michelle loved the zoo...our is small but decent.  Whenever she wanted to do something different than a movie or dinner she would go to the zoo...she said it was a cheap date night. 

I went and saw Don Piper author of "Ninety Minutes in Heaven" Thursday night....in short he was in a terrible car accident and dead for 90 minutes and went to heaven and then later back to earth.  He was a good speaker and spoke about how wonderful heaven was...and that everyone there is so perfect without any problems, scars, disabilities or pain. This is just our temporary home...we will meet up with them all again and they will be the ones waiting for us at the gates with arms wide open and huge smiles on their faces.  To them there is no time lapsed...for us an eternity. 

Everyone else ....hang in there....we will see all our children again....they are waiting for us.  Save a place for me Shell, I will be there soon.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_WynYBz-Ao

[ericasmom]

Cassandra, I just went to your first post and learned about what happened to Jeff. There are others on this thread whose Children left this earth in the same manner. Shockingly with no signs prior. I am holding you in my thoughts and will pray that you and the rest of your family will stay close and verbalize your heartache. I am so glad that he medicine allows your Mom-in-law to find her hidden voice so that she leaves here with some humor and not always stoic. I think that it is a wonderful thing that she sees Jeff, Jeff is hanging out with you all, and because she is soon to leave, she is able to see him. Blessings.

dee

[ericasmom]

WHERE ARE YOU ALL?

Hey Lorri, heard that the storm hitting OKlahoma is pretty heavy, hope all is well.

love,

dee

Marcia, I am so glad that you have been having great weather, you are outside and enjoying I trust. How is the ankle?

[lolynbo]

SO FAR JUST LIGHT SNOW...NOTHING RIGHT NOW...SO SICK OF THIS WEATHER...YUKO..

[daveydow1]

Colleen---Sending warm & fuzzy thoughts your way since 'Old Man Winter'

is coming back to pay you a visit in Wis. (we'll probably get it next here in Ohio.)

Trudi---Lovely pics of your trip to Perth. So glad that you had a nice time.

Dee & Betty-----Was out to our house today, and there is a bluebird box

nailed to one of the posts of the grape arbor. We saw, from a distance,

 two birds flying around and landing at the box. On closer inspection, they

were, indeed, bluebirds. The box is really neat, with a plexiglass panel in the

side where one could view what's inside. We will stay away for awhile so that

they can continue with the nest-building. Birds all over the place, singing & singing.

Lifted my spirits so much. Then, I visited my 90-yr. old mom, and then off to visit

Lisa, Davey, & my dad's graves. Birds singing there too, of course, so my spirits

remained reasonably high. I'm so excited about spring this year......especially

after a "bear" of a winter .   Peace to you.

Cassandra----I, too, want to welcome you to the BI site. As others said.....one never

wants to welcome anyone to this type of site, but since we are in this sad situation,

 BI is just a great place to come and read/post whenever you are up to it,

and talk about your dear son, Jeff. He must have been a wonderful son. I know how

much your heart hurts, as does everyone here.....since we've all lost a child or

children. We are all stages along the timeline on this road. Dee and I have been here

 almost 7 yrs. Please come back to BI. Peace & comfort to you.

                Davey&Lisasmom,   Sherry 

[ericasmom]

Sherry, I am happy for you to know of bluebirds amongst the many other variety at your new place. I have never seen a bluebird, jays yes, all year long here, but never a bluebird. Enjoy the songs and if they get quiet tomorrow with the weather, know that they will begin again soon.

SO glad that your spirits soared today,

dee

[mysonrich]

Hello again Indigos, Hope this evening finds you all well, as much as can be expected for each of us . Not very chatty of late.

Carol, Great picture of Mike. Reminds me of a baseball card. Nice photos of the grand-kids as well.

Betty, beautiul day/week , I caught a glimpse;

The Susquehanna River 

Betsy,mysonRich

 

[Guest]

Hi Indigo's;

The kids have all brushed their teeth, gone potty and are comfortably tucked in with a song and a kiss.  Hubby is reading a new book right next to me as I type.  Shelby, our Golden is snuggled into the love seat, owning it as her own.  And, the dishes are done!!  A nice evening, indeed!

Stephanie's belly button birthday (as opposed to her angel birthday) is next month.  She would have been 29 on the 29th.  I'm not sad.  Not yet, anyway.  I feel incredibly blessed to have been her mother.  Oh my gosh!!!  Did she ever give me fits being born!  And, then she was born pissed off!!  She was jaundice, so her coloring was a beautiful gold, with dark eyes and dark hair.  I'll scan and post her newborn baby picture when it gets closer to the time.  That child was more of a "Momma's girl" than any of my other children.  She would cry everytime I was out of her sight.  And FUNNY!!  Oh she was funny!!  Think Lucille Ball funny.  Only she wasn't acting.  It's how she really was.  Full of love and life.

Sigh...........

I'll have to ponder this new emotion I'm encountering lately.  I think it's better than Sweet sorrow.  It's definitely better than that excrutiating, paralyzing, flesh ripping pain.  It's very close to joy, but I don't think I'd call it joy.  It might be gratitude.  I think it's too soon to be acceptance.  It feels an awful lot like acceptance, though.  I'll have to test it and see.

I'm sure I'll let you all know what I find out.

Oh....my husband thanks you all for being there so he doesn't have to listen to all my "nonsense."  He didn't say that....but, he sure doesn't complain about the time spent on the computer!

Love and peace to each of you!

Susannah/Stephanie's mom

 

[hotrod]

Good Morning Indigos

 

Betsy so happy to see Rich's wonderful, happy face when I signed on.  As usual your photo was beautiful. I knew you were about.

 

Sherry that new home sounds so very perfect.  Blue Birds, a nesting box with a view "How Perfect.  It really sounds like a wonderful refuge for you and hubby.   I am sure Dee would be able to write a Poem to describe it.

Sue the Video was so poignant and touching.  I had a few tear but well worth it.  Thank You.

Michelle was right the zoo is a wonderful inexpensive  place to go in the nice weather.  I certainly enjoy it. You re right we will see all our angels again  I firmly believe that. 

 

Carol  Too bad that your zoo is difficult to get too but I know you and hubby and those wonderful grandchildren have the beach, ball park and many playgrounds to entertain you.  I was looking at the pictures you posted and think that Kam looks so much like his daddy it is wonderful

 

Trudie I am not a member of Face book so I could no leave a note on Michael's page  I think is  wonderful .

 

Susannah  It sounds as if you had a perfect day.  Glad you are arriving at a place where you can have the warm memories of Stephanie and feel the happiness.  I love to entertain memories of Stephen's childhood.

 

I am going to a 65 year old birthday luncheon today and am not looking forward to it.  All sorts of negative thoughts are racing thru my mind .  I will take thoughts of all of you and see your angels in my mind when I go.  I will ,"Suit up  and Show it" as they say.   The rest is a mystery  If I start to feel anxious I  become too abrasive   I will leave. That is the best I can do these days   .

 

Lorrie , Colleen and Lynn I hope you are holding up with the change in weather.  Mary Ann stay warm

Rosie I hope you are catching some fish and relaxing,Marcia hope you are doing well and your leg is healed

Kim, Cassandra, Claudia, Greg, Dan, Deneance, Beth, Leah, Kathy and all Indigos have a restful day

 

Betty

Stephen'smom