Loss of an Adult Child

[cassandra]

Hi Dee,

No, James moved back to Canada this past September and he is living in Calgary. The house he bought is about a forty minute drive from Banff. They have an awesome view of the mountains from their windows. My husband and I are heading out there in May to visit. I'm dying to see my grandaughter again. Her name is Sarah and she is almost sixteen months old.

They lived in Ireland for four years and Sarah was born in Dublin. They loved living there, but had to return due to the recession in Ireland. The company they worked for axed them to open up jobs for their own.  They had just purchased a home in DunLaoghaire and they were so pleased. Anyhow, it worked out Ok in the end. They seem to like Calgary.  They did have the opportunity while over there to travel extensively and see everything before Sarah was born.

Neil Young was something else while growing up. Expelled from Kelvin High School for skipping on a regular basis.  A friend of mine and I started a fan club for him. But it didn't do very well at first. He used to come over to our basement to practice with his band on weekends. He lived in a duplex with his mother. The band was called The Squires. He drove an old black hearse! And when it pulled up to the front of my house my Mom was horrified. Needless to say she put an end to that little episode fairly quickly. Said I was too young to hang around with guys that age.

 

[mikesmum]

Sounds funny, but logging on and seeing so many smiling faces brings such a warm start to my day....thanks

Cassandra - One thing we did get from Amanda was Micheals guitar. He loved his music.  It sits behind me as I type.   Cant seem to let it go.  Has his 'fingerprints' on it.  Unfortunately all the music he composed and recorded on his computer stayed with her.......

Carol - if you are reading - wrapping you in strength and love..

Walking the beloved Muttley who has attached himself like a toddler - 'mummy left him' and he knows it!! 

Trudi

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[mikesmum]

[user=27668]mysonrich[/user] wrote:

Hello Indigos,  my Aunt sent me this link. I found it interesting.

 

Carol, (((((((hugs))))))))). You are both in my thoughts and prayers.

 

Betsy,mysonRich

Wow - Such images, such vivid descriptions - yet her parents didn't believe or speak of god till now.  Amazing.

[ericasmom]

[user=45773]cassandra[/user] wrote:

Hi Dee,

No, James moved back to Canada this past September and he is living in Calgary. The house he bought is about a forty minute drive from Banff. They have an awesome view of the mountains from their windows. My husband and I are heading out there in May to visit. I'm dying to see my grandaughter again. Her name is Sarah and she is almost sixteen months old.

They lived in Ireland for four years and Sarah was born in Dublin. They loved living there, but had to return due to the recession in Ireland. The company they worked for axed them to open up jobs for their own.  They had just purchased a home in DunLaoghaire and they were so pleased. Anyhow, it worked out Ok in the end. They seem to like Calgary.  They did have the opportunity while over there to travel extensively and see everything before Sarah was born.

Neil Young was something else while growing up. Expelled from Kelvin High School for skipping on a regular basis.  A friend of mine and I started a fan club for him. But it didn't do very well at first. He used to come over to our basement to practice with his band on weekends. He lived in a duplex with his mother. The band was called The Squires. He drove an old black hearse! And when it pulled up to the front of my house my Mom was horrified. Needless to say she put an end to that little episode fairly quickly. Said I was too young to hang around with guys that age.

WOW, I am in awe that you hung out with my musical idol. Funny how things work isn't it. He would be the first one to say he shouldn't be idolized, so down to earth.

I am glad that you will see your grandgirl, Sarah, she must be a doll baby. How far is their home from yours? Did you end up in the city today? Does your husband support your feelings about his sister taking on more of her duty? How is your husband and Son doing iwth their grief?

Lyn, so good to see you again, coming up on a year and we all know how hard that can be. But it sure is good to see that you are seeing the kids act like kids again. The resiliance is inspiring. Blessings to you as you move forward into the next year. I know you are feeling your Boy.

Carol, loving you through the good and the not good.

Lynn, how is Jen?

 

[lolynbo]

OH NO YOU DIDN"T JUST SAY THAT

ONE OF KOURTNEYS FAVORITE SAYINGS....BUT I GOT ONE FOR THE BOOK..

I WENT TO THE JEWLERY STORE AND THE GUY THAT OWNS IT SAID..."I NO HOW YOU FEEL I LOST MY DAD A FEW YEARS AGO".....NOT EXACTLY THE SAME....CHILD / PARENT...BIG DIFF...BUT AS MONTY SAID MAYBE THATS THE ONLY WAS HE CAN MEASURE YOUR PAIN IS THE WORST THING THAT HAPPEND TO HIM...SO YA I GET IT..

WELL THEY WANNA TOTAL OUT KODYS TRUCK AND MONTY IS FIGHTN MAD AND FIGHTN FOR IT...IT AS I SAID WAS KOURTNEYS DADS TRUCK AND SHE ALWAYS TALKED ABOUT IT WHEN SHE WLD COME HOME FROM HIS HOUSE...SO YA ITS MEANS SOMETHING TO US..

ANOTHER ANGEL HAS MET UP WITH OURS, A 28 YR OLD BOY DIED...THEY BURIED HIM NEAR KOURTNEY, I DONT NO WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM...JUST SAD AND FEEL HIS PARENTS PAIN...

KIMBERLY IS FINE...LEARNING SO MUCH AND SHE SAYS EVERYONE IS SO HELPFUL AND WILLING TO TEACH HER....

WELL WE REOPENED AT KOURTNEYS KLOSET...AND HELPED A FEW FAMIIES TODAY WITH THEIR SPRING / SUMMER CLOTHES...MAKES YOU WARM INSIDE...

THIS IS KOURTNEY JUST OCT 28TH 2007 HER TUMOR BURST NOV 15TH 2007.. WE WERE AT THE RACES IN WACO..AND HER AND HALIE WERE ACTING SILLY WITH THEIR PICKLES..AND JUST AFTER THIS PIC HALIE LAUGHED AND BLEW HER PICKLE ACROSS THE TRAILER...WE LAUGHED AND LAUGHED...GOD I MISS THAT SILLINESS...

[ericasmom]

Hi Gang,

Oh Betsy, just finally watched the video you sent the link for. WOW! That young lady is a messenger it seems. How wonderful that she is so clear in her vision and in her telling, in her art and her heart. Thanks for sharing.

Lorri, there are many oh no remarks. That guy was just trying to relate the best way he could, and his attempt was sweet, but yes, nothing in comparison to us.

Love the pickle story.

Hey to Muttley Trudi.

Hi Sonya, good to see you here. Miss you and give that Mattie a hello and James a hug.

Terri, did you say that Thursday is the 2 year mark of Adam's angel day? Wow, time marching to a beat none of us can understand. A different beat than we would ever know. Thinking of you and your husband, wishing you some sort of peace.

Love,

dee

[summergirl]

Hello all Indigo's - thank you so much for your support as always. Susannah, you can rant and rave all you want and never apologize for what you say, every word spoken here is a teaching experience said with love, support, caring so rant away.   Dee, I read your post 3 times and have to say it really got to me....it takes the words of others to really make you think and stop feeling sorry for yourself, get up off your butt and get moving....I was blindsided by Bj showing up at my car but am now prepared for just about anything ... not going to be afraid anymore, let him fall where he may as I cannot afford to fall any further than I have allowed myself to already. Thank you all for your prayers, words of wisdom and concern.

Cassandra - your son Jeff sounds so wonderful, cannot wait to hear more about him.

Lorrie - love, love that pic...I too miss the siilly things so much...

A rainy chilly day but one that started out well watching Tavian put his "crazy sock" socks on this morning....Barry took a picture so I will post it as soon as I download it. Tomorrow is pajama day....

ON NO YOU DIDN'T JUST SAY THAT - Yes we could certainly write a book on that one sentence....I have heard so many over the past 4 years and yet it still amazes me when I hear another one.   I think the first one that really hit me was "Jessica is in a better place"  - oh I know they meant well but my response was "oh yeah, well what was so wrong with where she was, right here with us, with her son????"  I have come to realize that certain people do not know what to say and instead of saying nothing they say something that feels like a knife in your heart.

Carol, I am so sorry my friend, my prayers are with you and hubby. I wish I had words that would bring you some comfort, just know that we are all here, hugging you close and know that your Angel is with you....

Time to get Tavian off to bed so I will say goodnight to all, sweet dreams and may peace be with you all.  Kathy

[cassandra]

Hi Dee..yes I did make it into the city today. She is doing Ok. But that is about all. It is terminal. My sister-in-law was about herself... as per usual. Never had a familly and cannot understand what it is to drop things in a flash and look after somebody else. Having kids teaches you that. You can plan your day in detail and then everything turns on a dime when they have something else to attend too. You learn that your are responsible for somebody else that is dependent on you completely. And I have to say it's a great feeling. 

James is not very close to us as  Calgary is about 1000 miles  from Winnipeg. A little too far to drive for Sunday dinner.  They are huge outdoor sport buffs and it was one of the things they considered in moving back to Canada. They love to hike and ski. Jeff did not.  He had a poetic heart. Loved his sports and music. Encouraged others to keep going with their lessons even when they hit a wall and doubted themselves. He was truly gifted but did not see that in himself. A poetic heart. When he was well into his guitar lessons a friend of his used to drop by our home to hang out. He started to become interested in learning to play. Jeff encouraged him to pursue his dream. Today he is completing his degree in Music at the Canadian equivalent of Juilliard. He studied Spanish twelve string guitar under a master in Spain for a year. He is flying home to be with us and play for his memorial. He told us he credits Jeff with having encouraged him to keep going. This is what my son was about. Not so much a huge ego but always saw the good in his friends despite their faults. He was loyal beyond belief.  Gosh I miss him Dee. How are you doing? You are so supportive to everyone else...with always a kind word.  I would love to hear about you.

[mikesmomrs]

Hello, my Indigo friends:  Just stopping in to say thank you all so very, very much for your continued support and prayers.  Right now, we are just waiting to get another CT scan done, and then an appt with a specialist on Thursday afternoon.  The time is dragging by, each minute an hour...wanting the appt to be here and done with, and yet dreading it at the same time. 

Cassandra:  Thank you for sharing sweet memories of Jeff.  I know how bittersweet this can be, but we all like to hear of each other's angels.   

I am reading everyone's posts ...need this contact...holding you all close...just can't  answer or post replies right now, but please know that you are all in my heart, as always. 

Just want you to see a picture of who you are praying for and thinking of...This is hubby, (Ralph) taking me to the ballgame for the first time after Mike passed...May 15, 2007.  (He doesn't usually like to go to the park, but knew that I needed him with me this first time...he was right!) 

I have a prayer book of prayers for the year, that I read pretty much every day.  Hubby gave it to me about 8 years ago.  I read through it every year, and yet, each year, I find one that jumps out at me, that I don't ever remember reading before.  This is from the page for yesterday, read just before we left for the doctor's:

"When change comes, Lord, I'm not always prepared to view it in a positive light, but help me to not dwell on my fears and on all the things that could go wrong... Then, as I focus on the good, you will turn my tears into faith---faith that you are carrying me along, teaching me to trust, helping me to grow...."

love and peace, and wishes for a peace-filled night for all of you, my very dear friends.  

carol  mikesmomrs 

[Guest]

Hi Everyone!

Kathy - You are so sweet!  I re-read Dee's words to you, too, and decided I need to "get a plan of action", too. 

Lorri - "Old Yellow" is the old Ford truck Stephanie borrowed from us.  It's a monster of a truck, and I hate to drive it!  However, Stephanie loved it.  It only reminds me of her, now.  I doubt we will ever get rid of it, for that very reason.  I understand the emotional attachment to a vehicle.

We had our very first play-date, sort of.  Mariah got her very first phone call from her school friend.  Turns out the little girl lives one block away.  She came over to play and brought her 7yr old (very hyper) brother.  We need a bigger house! 

I ended the play over early and took the kids home, took my kids to "Kid's Works" and I went to a meeting (45 minutes early!) 

I don't know how teacher's do it all day everyday!  The noise alone is enough to push me over the edge.  And, they are so active!  How do you politely tell a child to knock it off!  I must have told the little boy to quit running in the house...please quit crawling under the table a dozen times.  Would it be rude the next time the girl comes over to stress she come alone?  Am I mean?  I felt badly for the little boy, but it was just nuts!

Susannah/Stephanie's mom

[aim630]

Hi to everyone. I've been reading your posts every day, just don't feel like talking much. Today it is exactly six weeks, still don't feel ready to put Ashley's ashes on display yet. They are in a back bedroom. I think if they aren't out where I can see them, I don't have to face reality.

I have had a lot of "oh no, you did not really say that" experiences. I think most people mean well, but unless they've been through this themselves, they can't really be of much help. Also, I think we make other people feel uncomfortable, because they are scared they may someday be in our shoes.

Carol-I am sorry to hear of your husband's illness. I will be thinking of you.I really liked the quote you found in the book your husband gave you.

Amy/Ashley's mom

[ericasmom]

Amy  it is good to know that you are out there, and when you don't feel like posting, just a hello is fine. Six weeks, while feeling like a lifetime and at the same time seems like yesterday, is still fresh. YOu and Cassandra are on the same timeline. Too fresh for all of the shock to be out of your system. As said earlier today, be kind to yourself. When the tears flow, drink extra water. The nurses told me that when we spent 6 days in the ICU at the trauma center. Said I would dehydrate if I didn't so I listened as I did not want to miss a moment of the short time I had. Since then, on extra tearful days, I add a couple glasses of water. Take a vitamin or two each day, especially a good Vit.C to keep your immune system up and running. Grief is very hard on all of your body/mind systems, so give it what it needs, proteins, some carbs. and plenty of fruits and veges for good health. And on those days when you say, "what the hell do I need good health for now?" Remember that your Children want you to live, want you to step into the world where they no longer can, live your very best life. They do, and one day you will, so now it is a matter of making it through spurts of time. Eventually, the weeks will turn to half years, and onward. Be kind to yourself, you are important to angels and we alike.

Cass, thanks I am a tired woman by now, have to get up at 5:30 for my walk before I go to school. Teach 3rd grade, so I will tell you more about me another time.

Carol, nobody comes close to the grace and beauty in facing hard times. I know that you are shaking in your boots, but I also know that you played with a grandboy and you probably made dinner for Ralph, and you used your energy to update us, so sweetly. Reserve your energy now, knowing that we are holding you at every turn. Hugs and deep prayer,

dee

[mikesmum]

[user=15807]mikesmomrs[/user] wrote:

 I have had my husband by my side for just shy of 46 years...he is like my skin; my breath, and certainly, my heart. 

Carol - Love the quote from your prayer book....This one is a keeper.  Your description underpins your pic from Fenway....Of course he went to the park, knowning your heart where else would he be.

May the CT images show nothing but a smudge, the solution come as 'hold tight' to each other. 

Cassandra - its wonderful to hear how our kids have impacted on the lives of others.    To hear stories of from their friends and others that you might otherwise have missed is a comfort. 

Lorri - Glad to hear Kimberley is doing okay.  I must have missed the story of what she is doing for work.

Terry - time flies they say and they aren't wrong.

Take Care all -

[hotrod]

Good Morning Indigos

Dear Carol  The picture of You and Ralph at the ball park was so beautiful  The love you have for each other was so clear , special and strong .I also was so very touched by the prayer you shared and  I have spoken many prayers for you both the last 24 hours and have   included a portion  of it:

 

"Then, as I focus on the good, you will turn my tears into faith---faith that you are carrying me along, teaching me to trust, helping me to grow...."

Lyn  What a wonderful tribute to Danny  "Forever Young"   a perfect theme for all our angels,  The pictures and music were enriching and the love you have for each other jumped right out at me

 

Sonya Mattie certainly loves Mommy  You will stop smoking when you are ready  I loved that James volunteers to help rebuild  America. I always wanted to do that but now that I have the time  have "too many aches and pains  " to really help 

 

Lynn How is Jennifer doing and are you holding up ok?

 

Terrie so good to see two smiling Adam's when I signed on today Missed his good looks and happiness. 

 

Trudie  Of coarse Mutley will be stuck to you like glue  I am sure he is so very  happy to have you back -just as we are

Cassandra  Thanks for sharing important stories about Jeff.  He did have a special gift.  You will find many of our angels had gentle caring spirits and some were considered "Old Souls'  It is so good to get to know you.

Lorrie and Susannah I understand about the truck  Stephen had a 20002 Ram which I gave to my Nephew  who really needed a reliable truck  Each time he comes to visit I want to take it back and just sit in it and "Remember"  Always great to see Kourtney and Stephenie when I come here

 

Dee Thanks for all you contributions and positive experience and wisdom that you have shared especially these past few days  I understand you are tired.  Do hope the class is keeping you busy and enriched

 

Amy  How special to see Ashley's beautiful face  this morning  I understand about making the loss real  Take your time and please come often.

 

Colleen I agree we could all write a book about  "you just did not say that".  I worst thing I heard I cannot repeat because I will become too enraged again.  I will say I simply exploded in the restaurant and EVERYONE heard my expletive included response before I left.  Have not seen that person since.

 

Betsy  Thanks again for that video it really touched my heart and soul.  Your aunt is very special to send that to you.

 

Sherry Holding positive thoughts of you during this move  I do hope you can capture a few pictures of the"Blue Bird Nest" when you are settled.

 

Kathy I love that Tavian loves to color as did Jessica   Looking forward to seeing "silly socks"

 

Going to the Dr for MRIs and tests today so --- Please include me in your prayers.

 

 Sue, Mar cia, Mary Ann Beth, Greg, Nick, Rosie, Kim, Deneance, Claudia. and all Indigos  Have a Blessed Day

Betty

Stephen'smom

[heartbeataway]

Woke up thinking about Dad so I started putting my thoughts on paper ..... thought I would share.

 A great man died Monday evening. He wasn't famous or rich. He wasn’t a war hero even though he served his country.  He never owned a lot. Nor did he want or need a lot. He was a jack of all trades that rarely achieved perfection. But he was my “John Wayne”, one of the strongest men who ever lived in my eyes. He is my Dad.

I guess you might say he was a person who was never interested in being the center of attention. He did ordinary things like pay his bills , go to church on Sunday and read the bible. He never passed up a chance to help someone out. He never made it past third grade in school. I often wondered how far he would have gone if privileged enough to obtain an education. He liked family gatherings, got a kick out of kids and loved his wife dearly. He prayed a beautiful prayer.

Dad enjoyed simple pastimes like reading and listening to music. He liked bluegrass music, a fire in the fireplace and “tinkering”. His suit pockets always had candy in them to give out to others and you had to rub your hand after he shook it to get the circulation going again. ;-) He had a hug you braced for, it was so strong!

This is the second day of my life without him. I didn’t see him much in the last few years  but my memory bank is full of him right now.  He came to me in a dream a couple nights before he died, put his hand on the side of my face and told me he loved me. I always knew that but I was grateful for the visit.

 There are other things I’m grateful for too. I am thankful that God let me have my Dad for so many good years. And I am happy that I was able to let him know how much I loved him. I’m thankful for the memories albeit years ago that hold his smile and his tender touch of understanding. I’m thankful that he was there for me at times no one else was.

I hope he died knowing he was loved and that he was a success in life. I have no doubt that your grandson came and took pride in showing you, his hero, the celestial path to your heavenly home.

So, until I see both of you again. I will be still with my memories and lovingly remain,

My Dad’s Daughter

[align=center]James Henry Lynch

June 18, 1923 ~ March 22, 2010[/align][align=center]

[/align][align=center]Please visit the Obituary for James H. Lynch

http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/roanoke/obituary.aspx?n=james-h-lynch&pid=141074582

Click on the link above or cut and paste the url into your browser's address bar.[/align][line]

• *View/Sign Guest Book

[align=center]

[/align] 

[hotrod]

Dear Bonnie

What a beautiful tribute to a wonderful man.  I will light a candle for your dad and will hold warm thoughts of you and your family as you recall the wonder of his love.

I am so very sure that Jason was there to Greet him

I pray for comfort for you during this difficult time

Betty

Stephen'smom:)

 

[hotsauce]

Dear Bonnie,

sorry to hear of your father's passing my prayers are with you and your family.

mary ann

BRIAN'S momdukes

[Guest]

Bonnie - That may be the most beautiful tribute I've ever read!  A man like that had to know he was loved!  I'm so sorry for your loss!

Carol - Still holding space and love for Ralph, you and your family!

Dee - I was hoping you had some advice about having children visiting the house.  Is it okay if just one kid gets one friend over and the other two don't?  Is it okay to limit it to that child or should their siblings be invited?  And, how to politely communicate that information to the family? 

I have the boundaries set up inside my head for my son.  It's clear...cut and dried.  Now, if I can only deliver!  It would be so much easier if they didn't have children. 

Danny's mom - I loved the video/tribute you made for Danny!  What a fun loving young man!  It's obvious that he was also loved deeply!!

Betsy - Thanks for posting the video to the young woman who paints.  I can't remember her name.  I watched an interview with her once.  She said something to the effect of when she trys to teach, the people don't listen, but when she is quiet they talk to her.  What a gift!  If memory serves me correctly, her parents were even athiests at the time she began painting.  Obviously, they're not anymore.

Cassandra - Your Jeff sounds like a very giving, gifted soul!  I look forward to learning more about him. 

Trudi - I love the pictures you posted of your trip. 

Wishing each of you a blessed day!

Susannah/Stephanie's mom

[lolynbo]

BONNIE SO SORRY ABOUT YOUR DADDY...WHAT A NICE LOOKING MAN..AS YOU KNOW THOUGH HE IS HANGING OUT NOW WITH YOUR ANGEL...AND HE IS SHOWN POPS THE ROPES....

KIMBERLY IS WORKING FOR

THEY SELL ALL THYPES OF FILTERS..ITS A VERY LARGE COMPANY AND SHE IS LOVING IT...SHE SAYS THAT UNLIKE FEED THE CHILDREN THEY ARE VERY HELPFUL AND ALWAYS THERE FOR YOU IF YOU NEED ADVICE NOT THE OL "FIGURE IT OUT " ADDITUDE

WOW WHAT HAPPEND TO OUR PAGE ITS SPREADING OUT LIKE MY BUTTTTT

PRAYING FOR YUR HUBBY PRAYING ALL GOES WELL WITH HIS TEST AND HE GETS BETTER...

[lolynbo]

PRAYERS FOR YOUR CT TODAY ALSO..MAY IT COME OUT GREAT....

I FEEL LIKE POSTING A PIC SO HERE COMES ONE...PROB ANOTHER LOOK AT HER AFTER HALIES PICKLE FLUNG OUT ON ME SHE LAUGHED WITH HER WHOLE BEING...

MY GIRL KOURTNEY JUST A PONYTAIL AND READY TO RACE/ROLL SHE IS ON THE RIGHT HALIE IS ON LEFT

[shorty16]

Bonnie,

May your memories keep you warm in the days, weeks and months ahead.

He was a very strong man and had lots of people who loved him. 

He was welcomed into heaven with an armada of angels waiting.

Colleen, Brians Mother Forever

[nicksdad]

Bonnie/Rich

I am sorry for your loss. I read what you wrote and it is beautiful. Yes, I am sure Jason was there with open arms to welcome James.

 

[shorty16]

Nick's Dad

What an awesome photo of Bonnie's Dad and son, Jason.

You are truly talented.

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever

[heartbeataway]

Dan,

Thank you so much for the picture!  You are such a big-hearted thoughtful guy!

I appreciate the notes from you guys too!  when I went on Dad's site and saw messages there I was overwhelmed. I can tell you that I feel arms of comfort and understanding.

My mind is tired from not enough sleep, my heart is full and emotions are running high. I don't post a lot but I visit everyday.  You're my extended family and I appreciate each one of you!

Love and Thankfulness for the journey,

Bonnie, Jay's Mom

[summergirl]

Bonnie - what a wonderful tribute to your dad. I am so sorry for the loss.

Have to read with Tavian, just wanted to let you all know I am thinking of you and sending you all virtual hugs.  Kathy

[braydensmom]

Just stopping in to say hello!! I went today and got fitted for my cap and gown, I finally get to graduate in May!!! I will be graduating with an Associates in Business and an Associates in Business Management with the medical office assistant option. Then I go right back in for my Bachelors next semester.

I just want to say thank you to everyone that supported me when i felt like giving up. I have always been able to come here when I was feeling down and everyone knew exactly what to say and would always make me feel so much better. I don't think I could be where I am today without this website. Talking to everyone here has made such a huge impact on my life. Even though you may not realize it you all are incredible people and are so inspiring. Each and every ones story is so different yet so much the same. We are all in the club that no one ever wants to be in but we are living proof that you can get through it. It may not be easy and we may always have at least one bad day each week but we keep living day to day for our children. I can't thank you all enough. Me and Ashton are so lucky to have you in our lives and he will definitely grow up knowing who his indigo family is. We love you all and hope you are doing well.

Here is another picture of my chunky monkey!!! 

[ericasmom]

Sweetie Bon,

I am on for the first time today and just read of your Dad's leaving. I am glad that his suffering is done, that he is made perfect in his flight, that he is joyous for the view of both his earthly life and the home in heaven that awaits him.

Your tribute to Your Dad is beautiful, your words are a testament to your love and your strong connections to those you love.

Find time to sleep and know that YOUR DAD is in good hands and hearts.

Peace,

dee

[lolynbo]

AMANDA WHAT A PRETTY OKALHOMA BOY...CONGRATS ON THE GRADUATION...

I FOUND ANOTHER OR SEVERAL MORE PICS OF THE KIDS..I WANNA POST 2 IF YAL DONT MIND..FIRST ONE OF COURSE IS KOURTNEY I THINK SHE WAS AROUND 12...

[lolynbo]

AND OF COURSE THIS IS KODY..I FORGOT IT WAS PIC DAY AND DADDY GOT HIS CLOTHES OUT...BUT GOD WHAT HAPPEND AFTER THAT I HAVE NO IDEA....

NO ONE WANTED THESE PICS I HAVE SEVERAL LEFT , NOT EVEN HIS GRANNIES WANTED THEM..

[Guest]

Lorri - I LOVE the picture of Kody!!  Does he look like he has mischief on his mind or what!!  Priceless.  Kourtney makes having braces look pretty!

Amanda - Congratulations!!  I fondly remember the warm welcome and comfort you gave me when I arrived here!

I have a friend whose daughter's name is Stephanie, too...same age as my Stephanie and the physical resemblence is remarkable.  I love her to pieces!  Well, as it so happened, Stephanie volunteered with the children's group at Celebrate Recovery last Friday night.  My ex son in law take my grandchildren (his children) to it on a regular basis. 

Stephanie didn't realize it was MY Jasmine she was helping color.  Stephanie told me about it when I saw her last night.  Tonight I mentioned to Jasmine that I heard she met a friend of mine named Stephanie.  I watched Jasmine's face fall when she realized it wasn't her mommy.  She thought her mommy came as an angel to help her color.  I just hugged her!  Stephanie told me Jasmine was "glued" to her the rest of the evening.  Jasmine was able to recover quickly though and changed her excitement to the fact we have a friend named Stephanie, like her mommy. 

I dropped the F bomb in front of my grandkids tonight.  It used to be in every sentence I used, but NOT around my grandchildren....I was frustrated and yelled at them and it just flew out.  I apologized immediately, but I scared them.  Even two year old Kaylee ran from me - which has NEVER happened before.

I'm the best option these kids have.  That's sad.

Thanks for listening!

Susannah/Stephanie's mom

[ericasmom]

Bonnie Dear, I am passing a message on to you from our new friend Cassandra. She was unable to post tonight so asked that I send you her warmest hope for you to wrap around you in this difficult time. She is holding your Father in her prayers, and you.

 She wishes us all well and keeps us in her prayers.

Susannah, as far as inviting one child and receiving two? WEll I think that I would talk to the parents and explain that when one child invites another over that for now, it will have to be just one coming over. You could gently speak about having three kids in your home is way differnt than having no children for many years, so inviting one is plenty extra. If she says that her older child cannot come over without the younger one, then I would not wonder as to why this child has no manners...his 7 or 8 year old sister is raising him. As far as running through the house and making a mess and being too loud? I would tell the little one, and all kids for that matter, that the rules of our house are like this: we will not run through the house, we will pick up toys when we are finished playing, if we eat snacks, we clean up afterwards...whatever your rules are. If you then have to reiterate the rules, you can say well we better take a time out for a few minutes everyone...we need to settle down some as it was just too crazy. So who remembers the rules? I would speak clearly and calmly but use language like; It is not okay to run through our home, it is not okay to use words like that, nope, we are not going to play in that way. Sometimes the language we use and the tone of voice can diffuse so many problems. If a child refuses to settle down, I would tell the child that it will have to be time to go home if he cannot use the house rules. And then call his home and ask that he be picked up.

Goodnight all, hope today went better Carol, thinking of you and hoping and praying.

Lorri, no? Grammy didn't want that photo? Fussy woman hu?

Dan, what a nice thing to do for Bonnie.

love to all,

dee

[Guest]

Dee - Thanks for the great advise, I'll use it!! 

[nicksdad]

Terrie & Paul...

Adam's smile is beautiful.....

[lostwoher]

Thinking of you Terri as you go thru this day. May Adam reach out to fill your heart with all the love a mother has for her son.

Bonnie, please know that I am thinking of you and sending a big hug. I dont believe I have ever read anything so touching as what you have said about the love for a parent. Peace to you.

Look at that lil guy! He is absolutely gorgeous!! Congratulations on completing your studies. So proud you didnt give up. Best wishes on continuing on.

Kudos to those of you taking care of the lil ones. I find myself running the other direction where kids are involved. Not sure why because I have always enjoyed being around them. No patience any more. Sad because 2 co-workers have just had babies but I cant get excited for them. I do put on my mask at the appropriate time but...

Brief update on my niece Jenni. After spending 2 days in isolation, numerous blood draws, spinal tap, and no food for 5 days, the specialist is 80% sure she does not have chicken pox but instead an allergic reaction to the antibiotic Keflex ( cephelexin )!!! Should know for certain later today. She was also told that if she did have chicken pox that the worse thing ever was for the dr to prescribe that antibiotic. Not sure of the reasoning but will be getting answers later- hopefully. She was feeling better as of late last nite so keep the prayers coming. Thank you all!!!!

Would like to post to others but its so early in the morning and my memory isnt exactly working yet. I have the day off so will return later.

Welcome Cassandra.

Love and hugs to ALL,

Lynn

[ericasmom]

ADAM

ADAM

ADAM

ADAM

from the depths of my heart to your sweet self, I hold you close today as your family faces the difficulty of time. Peace in your new world, and deep laughter and dancing and joyous gathering.

Let your Momma and Daddy feel the touch of you in this day and each.

dee

[hotrod]

                              Dear Adam

         Surround your Mom and Dad with Your Love

                 and your Beautiful  Spirit. 

 

              Your Smile Warms  my Heart

 

            Terrie  Holding  Thoughts of You

 

                                 Betty

                        Stephen'smom:)

[hotrod]

Good Morning Indigos

 

Dan  What a beautiful tribute you presented for Bonnie and Terrie.  Your compassion and artistic ability are outstanding.

 

Bonnie and Carol Thinking of you with warm thoughts and pray this day is gentle on your hearts.

 

Amanda Congratulations on your graduations  I agree coming here to this special group, I love to call "The Idigos," has enabled me to continue on when I did not think I could. I just love the picture of Brayden .

 What a precious child.

 

Lorrie You are so funny  " The print on the page spreading out like your BUTT"  Really made me smile  Loved the pictures of Kody and Kourtney as children. 

 

Susannah  Such a sweet story about you little granddaughter.  Please be gentle with yourself  The grandchildren are so fortunate to have you.

 

Lynn Thanks for the update on Jennifer.  I am happy to see Kyla sweet face.

 

Betsy, Sonya, Sherry, Dee, Claudia, Beth, Greg, Cassandra, Rosie, Kim, Colleen Kathy, Sue ,Trudie,MaryAnn and all Indigos Have a Blessed Day

 

Betty

Stephen's mom:)

 

[mikesmum]

Good night Indigo's.  Yes its 12.10am Eastern Standard Summer time Friday morning.

There is more to this site than just sharing our loss.  We share our successes, our artistic abilities, our strengths, our stories and our lives. 

I wish you all sunshine this day, gentle breezes to remind you of your angels and of course the energy to take those next breaths.

Hearts to Carol and Ralph - Bonnie and Rich and all (Terry) facing another milestone as the world continues to turn..

[hotsauce]

Terrie,

ADAM  ADAM  ADAM

may he show you many beautiful signs on this  special day

love and hugs

mary ann

BRIAN'S momdukes

[Guest]

ADAM   ADAM   ADAM   ADAM   ADAM    ADAM    ADAM

Fly high.  Fly free.  And, fly by your mom and dad and let them know you're still watching over them.

 

[mikesmum]

Hey babe, you must be all of 19 or 20. This is at Laurens.  You two were raising these bunnies.......

[Guest]

Leah - Thinking of you!  How are you?

Sherry - Also thinking of your little Lisa this morning.  No reason.  Her name just keeps popping in my head.

Bonnie - Still touched by the words you wrote about your father.  That's the kind of legacy I want to leave behind.  God might have to strike me mute for that to happen.

Lynn - I sure like logging on and seeing Kayla's beautiful face. 

Betty - Are you going to Little Rock?  You may have already said, but I don't remember.  I'm beginning to look forward to it, instead of having panic attacks when I think about it.  Not only am I looking forward to meeting as many of you as possible, I'm looking forward to ROOM SERVICE!!

Wishing you all a wonderful day!

Susannah/Stephanie's mom

[lolynbo]

ADAM ADAM ADAM...HEAVENLY ADAM

[lostwoher]

 Im liking the Chicago Bears shirt

[mikesmum]

It was one of the things his 'partner' dumped on our doorstep in bags of 'throwout'.  He had it for about 10yrs.  It had been left out in the weather....rain and heat....

[ericasmom]

WOW! I did not even notice the Chicago Bears shirt till I read your post Lynn, I was so taken by that devilish smile and bunny on Mike's shoulder. I am not too observant, good eye for you Lynn. Glad too, that you have the day off. So happy that Jennifer is doing better, but my prayrs will continue for full healing.

I don't think it is unusual for our patience to be different than it once was, mine sure is. I deal with kids day in and out, I simply do not have patience for adults who waste my time, meaningless meetings, things that take energy for no good reason...

Amanda, I chime in with the others, the effort you have made to both finish your degree and get through a hard time while starting a new life is outstanding. We are so proud of you and wish you only great things. Baby Man is gorgeous, a smile beyond gold and silver.

Carol, how are things today?

Bonnie, how are you fairing?

Love to All,

dee

[mikesmomrs]

Just jumping on to say:

ADAM...ADAM...ADAM

saying your name...always, saying your name...

Terri and Paul...this day will always hold a very special place in your hearts...may only sweet memories carry you through the hours...

love and peace,  carol  mikesmomrs

[shorty16]

Indigo's

I have a poem I would like to share:

You can shed tears that he is gone

Or you can smile, because he has lived.

You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back

Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left.

Your heart can be empty, because you can't see him

Or you can be full of the love that you shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday

Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday

You can remember him and only that he is gone

Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back.  Or you can do what he would want; smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

By David Harkins, Silloth, Crumbria, UK 1981

To my Angel

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever

[mikesmomrs]

Dee and all:  today we meet with the urologist; have been spending hours on the phone yesterday and today trying to get a PET scan scheduled ASAP.  I spoke twice with the clerk in the doctor's office yesterday about scheduling the new CT scan the doctor wanted, and the first time (10:30 am) was told "Oh, I will be doing that right after lunch."  I spoke again at 3:40, was told "I haven't been able to get it yet, and since there is only a little over an hour left, I may not get it done today.  I have a lot of things piled up and can't spend the whole afternoon trying to make this appointment."  Yes, I would have gone through the phone and strangled her, if only I could have!  So, I have not left it to her to schedule the PET scan...I am doing that myself.  I know I can't actually "schedule" it, but I can do the advance footwork, i.e., finding places with openings, etc., and then giving her the numbers to call. 

Probably the most maddening and heart-wrenching thing that happened yesterday was finding out that the doctor was told in November that the ultra sound done at that time was not clear enough to make any definitive diagnosis regarding the mass that was present, and that "a CT scan should be done for further determination."  Well, we weren't told that; the doctor only told us that there was a cyst present, and that he would have another ultra sound done in a few months, to "see if it changes."  So, the doctor didn't order the followup until the first of MARCH...  He had another ultra sound done, and this time the radiologist wrote "Scan has not produced clear enough results, and AS RECOMMENDED IN MY PRIOR REPORT, I recommend a CT scan for further determination."  This time the CT scan was done, but not for another TWO WEEKS!

I can't help but think that if the CT scan had been done in November, as the radiologist recommended, perhaps we wouldn't be even thinking about the possibility of metastasis already happening...

So, that is where we are.  Deja vu all over again!  Something very similar happened with Mike..delays, delays, not telling us, etc.  You would think I would have remembered all that when we got the first ultra sound results in November.

However, we can't dwell on all that--we can only do what we can do NOW, and make sure it is getting done. 

I thank all of you for your prayers and support...I am thinking of all of you, as always, and apologize for not replying to everyone's posts...the pics are just great...Lorri...beautiful pic of Kourt and her friend laughing their heads off...Trudi:  Love the pic of Mike with the rabbit...and the shirt, too, just terrific.  I love the composite done by Dan for Jason and his grandpa, and for Adam...  Betty:  Keep us posted on your medical tests....Lynn:  I am so glad to hear that Jennifer is doing better and pray that she continues to do so...Colleen:  I have that poem posted to Mike's web site...it sure does settle into the right places in our hearts, doesn't it...thank you for sharing. 

love and peace, Indigos, friends, you are my lifeline, as always.

Carol  mikesmomrs

[ericasmom]

thanks Colleen I would love to send this to my Son, but am unsure if he will feel I am telling him how to cope...as we get closer to Michael's anniversary of leaving he is quiet and sad. I asked him if he would like to have a meal together on his Dad's anniversary or go to Eri's gravesite on that day, or have friends in? He said no to all. I hope that one day soon, he will feel the peace of his Dad and Sis.

Love to all,

dee