Members Mermaid Tears Posted August 23, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 23, 2015 Sherry...I, too, did not know your Mom had been put on hospice care...my son is a Dr. and my daughter is a nurse...and they both think hospice is the most comforting helper for those that are soon to pass....they talk about the families that are in denial...having feeding tubes..useless surgeries...treatments...at this end of life phase..only making it so cruel...for the one that is simply leaving this earth home...for their first home. I hope and pray that you have a peace with this... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sholl1955 Posted August 23, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 23, 2015 Hello,Just stopping by for a minute to connect with my friends who understand. It is almost 3 1/2 years since Sarah left. There have been lots of major moments in those years that have been difficult. But yesterday was our sweet Becca's 7th birthday. This will be the 4th birthday without her mama and while each one has been tough as far as missing Sarah goes, this has been horrible. Of course Becca does not know how I feel and we make a huge deal about her big day. But for some reason this time the memories of the day she was born and the joy Sarah had on that day have been as vivid as if it happened yesterday. And to watch her without her mama celebrating with her is so hard. It feels as if the scab has ripped off and there is profuse bleeding of my heart. There is no one I can share this with as I am "supposed to be past this" but know I can share with all of you. I have no words right now but wanted to touch base with those who get it.Sandy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jeff's Mom Posted August 23, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 23, 2015 Sandy, we do indeed "get it". I am so sorry that you are feeling so blue right now. We all know that we can never actually "Get over it"... but we learn to adjust our lives to live quietly with our loss. Special occasions are always the toughest.Consider yourself hugged! Kate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members InHeavensKeeping Posted August 23, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 23, 2015 Hi just wanted to say I'm reading all your posts. Can't do more at the moment feeling so upset everyday. I want to be positive but I just can't. I don't want this all to be true. I'm scared that everyone around me thinks I should be better than this by now.I'm back to School on the 1st and I'm so worried that they will expect more from me than I can possibly give. Our Angleversaray is so close my heart beats so fast and my stomach is in knots I feel that dread. Kate I'm happy that Ross is on the mend lovely to hear from you and that your well. Dee grandkids are just wonderfulSusan's mum your daughter is such a beauty Laurie I hope the court goes well. Sherry my husband is ok thank you he's getting lots of help and support now like Susan says he's a fixer and really struggling with the finalitySusan thank you for the pin I could relate to it so much. Evelyn take care Laural beautiful baby. Paula good luck on your travels such a lovely idea. Sandy thinking of you at this difficult time. Love and peace to all. God Bless Georgina xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted August 23, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 23, 2015 Sandy....how the celebrations almost makes me have dry heaves...we so 'get it'....and yes...we know we need to be the 'hero in the room'...especially for the GRANDchildren...but there is no way to keep those memories from washing over us...and we find no ground to stand on...so we find just one tiny fragment of faith to hold on to... Georgina....if you find yourself surrounded by people that need for you to get over it...then you are surrounded by people that are 'ignorant'....they will never...ever understand this kind of grief until they are faced with it....and no....we do not wish this on anyone...not even our worse enemy....I don't think people are mean or non caring....they simply do not understand how this kind of grief can change every part and particle of your life. You will have to pray for strength...and forgiveness of others...wrap a cloak of UNDERSTANDING around you. I read this over before a 'gathering' or holiday or celebration... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tobyfreefoot Posted August 23, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 23, 2015 just in yesterday. got as far as your post sandy post and my heart felt so sad for you. forest never got to have any children which of course adds to my own sadness but the emotions you are going through with your granddaughter sound unbearably hard. i am glad you have her to love but so very very sorry for the pain it involves. have to get some sleep before work. tell you some about the trip later. love to all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted August 24, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 24, 2015 Gretchen, so glad that you are home now, just can't wait to hear your stories of travel. Sandy, goodness, I wondered if you were okay so I am glad to see you here but I am so sorry that you are feeling so blue. I certainly get why your heart is heavier now, the juxtaposition of a Child growing up without your Beloved Daughter, their Beloved Mother, next to the memories of when it all seemed so good...is hard hard HARD! Is your Son in law being better about time with the girls? How is your Husband's health? And your other Daughter's family? You see Sandy, you have had faced so much in so short a time, and yet you work and you make sure of everyone...you do have to let the grief take center stage sometimes, it is the saddest event and it will always be that. Letting loose those tears and anguish will let some of the pain out of your being. Remember the tears don't make you weak, nor do they measure where you are on the grief timeline, they are a release of one's deep sadness, they are yours to shed, and the grief timeline is something we are all on, those who don't get that we are always going to walk this path, probably never will get it. But we sure do. Holding your hands, your heart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TearsInHeaven Posted August 24, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 24, 2015 Sandy- I don't know you as I am an under one year person here-BUT I do know your pain and sorrow. For that my heart goes out to you.---and your beautiful granddaughter who lost her mother at such a young age.. I have no words of wisdom but I have my prayers to offer you. Susan- once again your clip is so spot on. An undertow of sadness by the presence of an an absence. Our 42nd anniversary is coming up and my kids used to mark it for us with something to make us smile. A poem, a picture or Michael was always good at sending a silly little love song. He and Heather always said if we hadn't gotten married where would they be. Guess that comment has too many answers to think of this year. Georgina- I wish I had the comforting words you would need to hear as you approach the first year mark. I am coming to 9 months and my heart is either beating off the charts or barely beating. We have somehow made it this far. I so wish all of us could get off this path. Dee- such beautiful pictures. The beautiful little face--so full of promise----and curls! Up here in the Midwest we have had a beautiful couple of days and somewhere that brings a little peace. I hope to share with all of you a little of that peace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted August 24, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 24, 2015 Dee...love those photos....that 'little man' is growing by leaps and bounds....and your 'pretty girl' grows even prettier...our Pibby is now 12...starting 7th grade today....'sunrise..sunset..when did they grow'.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Houdiniwho Posted August 24, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 24, 2015 I wanted to thank everyone for their kind words and for sharing their photos of their children. The stone is finally completed at the cemetery. It was beautiful in person, not sure how well the photos are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted August 24, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 24, 2015 Paula...thanks for sharing with us...the photos came through just fine....all the love came through, too... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted August 24, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 24, 2015 Gretchen....was thinking of you and your boys just the other day...wondering how the waltz across Europe went... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members flocicero Posted August 24, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 24, 2015 Feeling out of sorts.....I try to read when I can, sometimes it just hurts too much to hear of all the pain yet when I do come here, I feel some comfort......Georgina , I know how anxious you are feeling with your sons first angel anniversary just a few weeks away.....I feel the same sort of dread......my son was gone just 16 days after yours.....I too am still in a place where I just don't /can't believe it has happened......Sometimes I just try to be strong & tell myself there's simply nothing I can do now & there was nothing I could have done differently a year ago.......I couldn't keep him under lock & key for a lifetime......God knows we did do that as much as we could......I could not save him from himself.......I could not save him from the girlfriend that would stand by & do nothing while he was dying......we tried to give him all the love & support we had to give but in the end, he still searched for drugs.....I struggle everyday trying to find a way to cope.....he was the most beautiful baby when he was born.....he was 2 weeks overdue & I had to have an emergency C-section because they couldn't get his pulse ......he was 10# 4oz. With a head of dark hair....so precious.......he had to be in an incubator for one week & I refused to leave the hospital without him so they let me stay in my room.......would not happen in today's health system......Sometimes I feel that perhaps he cheated death as an infant......so I was given 30 years with him ......I wanted so much more time with him......Paula enjoys your travels.....the headstone is beautiful.....I'm still working on ours.....Peace & love to all...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sholl1955 Posted August 24, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 24, 2015 Thank you each one for your support and kind/loving words. I do feel as if I need to apologize to anyone that my post may have caused added pain. I am so very aware that as I share the pain with my loss and my grandbabies, that there are many many of you that have lost your child before they were able to give you grandchildren and that loss must be so unbearable and that I may sound selfish. I know how very blessed that I am to have Maddie and Becca and I am very thankful for them. But there are times it is so hard to watch those beautiful little girls face every single special event, large or small without their mama. Becca is in first grade and Maddie in third grade and I have seen so many times when I pick them up the pain in their eyes as their friends mama's come in and they are calling out "mommy" and there is often such a sadness and longing in their eyes knowing that their mommy isn't coming. 31/2 years has not lessened that pain and for them every special time in their lives they will be reminded of their loss. I thank God we are here for them and they for us. Again I am so sorry if I caused pain to any of you. I would not wish to do that for anything. Grief is a level playing ground. The pain may be different for each of us in many ways, however the pain and this journey brings an understanding that no one that has not lost a child cannot understand. I am thankful for each of you this site. Have a peaceful evening,Sandy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted August 25, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 25, 2015 Sandy....please..never feel you have to apologize on this site...no...not you...yes....I do have my GRANDchildren....and many on this site will never have that child...from that child..but I don't think any on here think of it that way...I do have GRANDchildren...but not a child from my John David...it is ok...the most important issue....is that we honor our child... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted August 25, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 25, 2015 Sandy, I echo Susan's words here, there is no need for an apology. Your pain is real, the loss of Sarah is felt throughout your family, and you see it on the young ones' faces...God knows, as do we, that you are grateful each day for the Children, even still, the missing goes on. We get that. Paula, don't think I added my thoughts on the stone...very beautifully done. I think that it is really nice to have three generations joined on one big stone. Thanks for sharing. Kate, so glad to see you here again, that you are feeling better is great. The weather here is cool for the last 5 days, and I love it. LOVE it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted August 25, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 25, 2015 Laurie....thinking of you and yours....and your court date/appearance....hope the stress and the tension is kept at a point where there are no meltdowns....and if there are....pray that you will be sustained with Grace and Mercy....and Jesse David will be the focus of your Faith. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted August 25, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 25, 2015 Francesca, I think many of us have struggled (and struggle) with what we could have (should have) done differently. I think the guilt is something that is part of the grieving process that many face. Hugs. Susan, thanks for thinking of me...courtdate tomorrow...then next month the main trial. ****************************************************************************************************** I am sharing this online article for those newer to grief and to this forum: Article from Carol Kearns, grief counselor trained under Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. She lost her daughter, Kristen to a drowning. How Can I Handle This Anxious Recurring Situation?A bereaved parent said, "Memorial Day weekend eight years ago was the 'beginning of the end' for my son who had a terminal illness. Each year, even though this weekend signifies the beginning of summer, I become anxious and depressed without even thinking about the time of year. How can I handle this situation in a better way?" The death of your son was a traumatic experience that runs deep and rears its head every year, whether you are aware of it or not. This is often referred to as the "anniversary syndrome." It is a post-traumatic stress (PTSD) reaction and a common occurrence given the death of your beloved son. I often experienced the same reaction after the death of my daughter in November. As the smells and changes in the weather from summer to fall came around, I would notice myself getting anxious and moody. I knew that this had to do with the anniversary of Krissie's death, but even with that awareness, my feelings persisted. Your acknowledgment of the situation is the first step. There are certain times when grief builds up, and this is one of those times for you. A great way to help yourself is to take some private time to focus on your son. I have a Krissie Journal that I pull out at such times and write a letter to her about all that I'm feeling. Sometimes I write a few paragraphs and sometimes a few pages. Write as if you are having an actual conversation with your son, and tell him all the things you would do if he were here. Let him hear about your sadness and frustration of not having him near and whatever other feelings you might have. You may find yourself writing about fun memories as well. Who knows, but write it all. Write until you have no more to say. Play some of his favorite music, look at his handsome pictures and let yourself go. This can be a very special time with you and your son. Try also to imagine what your son would say back to you in your conversation with him. Would he want to wipe away your tears and take away your sadness? I think so. I think he would want you to have a good summer. You may want to do this a few times. I can assure you that this will help. These grief emotions are very powerful, and when we bottle them up we get even more anxious and depressed. They don't want to be stuffed down. They need an outlet. They need to be expressed. Trust yourself. Remember, there are no emotions that you can't handle! While they may be painful, they are yours, and confronting them will make them less painful and you stronger. This may take some time, but it is the way to heal. Carol Kearns book on her daughter's death and bereavement can be found here: http://www.carolkearns.com/kristens-legacy/overview.html Her book and insights were very helpful to me in the first year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted August 25, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 25, 2015 Laurie...then please carry my thoughts, care and words with you tomorrow... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted August 25, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 25, 2015 Thanks Susan for the words of encouragement... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jeff's Mom Posted August 25, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 25, 2015 Laurie, sending love and support for tomorrow. We are keeping you in our thoughts and prayers. Kate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted August 26, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 26, 2015 Stand tall and proud of the work you are doing Laurie, it is not the kind of work anyone wants to understand but those of us that do, well, we'll be the first ones to say that it is difficult and very tiring from the stress of it all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members InHeavensKeeping Posted August 26, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 26, 2015 Thinking of you today Laurie. It's so hard to fight all the knock backs take there toll. Keep strong. Keep fighting. Thank you for sharing the post Carol was very lucky to be able to work with EKR I'm going to buy her book thank you. God bless Georgina x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members InHeavensKeeping Posted August 26, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 26, 2015 Francesca I know our losses were close. Your words do help thank you. I hope you can get some peace and support over the coming weeks. Are you planning anything special on the day. We're going to have a candle ceremony at his grave. All his friends a cousins are arranging a night out to have a drink in his name. Plus were raising money for a charity called Roadpeace who are working hard to bring in change for safety on our roads. Dianne you are so right we have made it this far. I needed to hear that I'm struggling with how I feel I'm trying with all my being to adjust to this new normal. It's like a puzzle and a piece is now missing so we can't complete it. We're not complete as a family any more. I know everyone here is feeling the same. Susan the problem is the people I'm talking about are my work colleagues so hard to distance myself. Plus were starting a new school year so they will expect me to be recovered and raring to go. The picture was so right just how I feel on the anniversarys and special occasions Peace and love to all Georgina xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TearsInHeaven Posted August 26, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 26, 2015 Laurie- the best positive thoughts and prayers are sent to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted August 26, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 26, 2015 Francesca....and new parents....I am in my 3rd year....and I still have a crippled...wounded spirit...so....just keep in mind that each of you do....'whatever'.....cry...piss...moan....howl at the moon....sit on the couch all day in your panties and cry...this kind of grief is not for sissies...it is hard core mourning...for the most part I felt detached in some way...and I still feel like that in some aspect... leading up to the first Angelversary is full of anxiety...tension...hopelessness...and just an endless pit of sadness...there is just no bottom to it where you may find footing...how you honor your child with remembrance is up to you...and it is between you and your child...your family....his friends...his siblings... Francesca...many parents on this site are relating to you....I will gently remind you....we never had super human control...we have always had..and still do...super human love... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted August 26, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 26, 2015 Dee, Kate and Susan, Dianne, Francesca, and Georgina, thank you for the thoughts and prayers for today. All of the pre-trial work is now done. We have the jury trial next month for sure. It will be a full day the first day and most likely the same amount of time the next. Very draining day. Long talk with the District Attorney today on the next proceedings... ************************************************************************************* Paula, thank you for sharing the pictures of your son's and family's headstone. It is beautiful. Sherry, thanks for your thoughts...and down to earth sentiments. ************************************************************************************** Wonder about how your trip went Gretchen? Shannon, Wade, Becky, Colleen...and all other indigoes, thinking of everyone here... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted August 26, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 26, 2015 Laurie...I know you are so glad to get that over with...out of the way....how is your husband ? The trial coming up will bring stress...questions...tension....but....you can see the the light at the end of this dark tunnel. Please give yourself a hug...this has been an uphill fight for justice for your boy.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted August 26, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 26, 2015 Susan, my husband is doing okay...but my daughter is struggling with everything...at this point most of the people we knew have drifted away...so I am trying to see if my sister, Valarie, will come and sit with her during the trial..I do not think my daughter can handle the trial emotionally... ...it is difficult for my sister to travel since she has many health issues due to the pituitary tumors...but we will see... One thing from the pre-trial conference today: the girl's attorney was trying to get it stricken that that my son and we were not to be termed "victims" during the jury trial...however the judge said no to that and agreed we were victims especially my son. The new "lows" that people will stoop too...this girl and her attorney are disgraceful as human beings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted August 27, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 27, 2015 Hello to all Indigos......Haven't been on lately, due to some "tinkering" withcomputers. I've hooked up my previous computer, and tried to put some'lost' pics onto a flashdrive. Alas.....no success. From the messages I hadreceived, I guess that the drivers are all outdated (it has been sitting forabout 2 yrs...unhooked), and that memory is not very current...(or whatever )At any rate, I just gave up. Laurie-----I, so , understand your anger and frustration at the girl's lawyerasking the judge to deem that your family are not victims. That kind of stuff seems to be routine for the defense lawyers. It's maddening,....I know.Sending up thoughts & prayers for your daughter and for the whole family.The whole court scene is so excruciating for the families of the beloveddeceased children. Peace to you. Sandy---No need at all for apologies. Everyone here understands. Grandiesare surely a blessing, but at the same time......the heart mourns for thelost child just the same. Only natural....they are so missed. I have grandiesfor which I am grateful,....but not from my Davey. He was not married....leftno children. Our family name died with him. Wishing you comfort, friend. Paula----Thanks for the pics of the headstones. They are beautiful. Georgina---Glad that your husband is ok. Yes,...men especially want to 'fix'things. My husband didn't even try to fix us.....he is just resigned to 'what is',as I am also after these 12 years. Dee-----thanks for the lovely pics of the grandies.....so sweet. Is little Michaelturning one year old? He sure is a cute baby. We dug a row of potatoes today.....those that were there are nice enough, but becuase of the lack of rain in July,I fear that the overall yield will be smaller than in some years past. The groundis so very hard. The digging ends up in large clumps of dirt as hard as cement,even down a foot. Lots of tomatoes, though . Denny planted a new smallervariety this year, and they seem to have tolerated all the rain in June, and notmuch rain since then. I've been cooking them up to avoid having them go to waste.....using them in recipes/ soup. Weather is cooler this week, but to goback to the 80's next week......Just in time for the county fair. Fall is just around the corner. Susan----My mom is alert most of the time, but is so frail and weak. Hospice issuch a good organization. While mom doesn't always cooperate with them,I think that she will gain some peace from their visits. Kate-----Sorry your tomatoes didn't do well this year. Our beets were very sparsethis year....hardly any. I guess that's the way it is with mother nature. We haveto take whatever she gives us, don't we? Some years some things do well, whileother things languish etc. Then it could be the opposite the next season. Thoselittle chipmunks you see must be doing their preparation for winter...cheeks fullof food to stow away. Smart little creatures. We used to have some around ouryard, but not many anymore, probably due to the cat. She's quite a hunter, andgets moles, mice from the barn & sheds, and the other day she killed a little snake. I'm off to do some reading and letter-writing. Wishing all Indigos a restful night. Davey&Lisasmom, Sherry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members shorty16 Posted August 27, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 27, 2015 Jesse, David's Mom,The court process is slow and torturous. We had to endure 4 court hearings in 14 months. The driver plead no-contest in Brian's death.You are dealing with the reality and coldness of the legal system and you are hanging in there. Even though it may help to have family at these proceedings, (in our case) our presence was not required.I call all the angels I know to lift you up and may your road smooth.Colleen, Brian's Mom forever Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members shorty16 Posted August 27, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 27, 2015 I wanted to share my favorite flower, the Sunflower. These are from my garden..enjoy my friends.Colleen, Brian's Mom forever Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted August 27, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 27, 2015 Sherry and Colleen, thank you for your thoughts and prayers are appreciated. Georgina, I was looking over the Roadpeace website...very well done. This page I thought was very applicable...http://www.roadpeace.org/why/our_vision/ Still reading through it.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted August 27, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 27, 2015 Laurie-----I forgot to tell you how much I appreciated the screen shot youposted ("She is a Grieving Mother"). It surely goes to the heart of everyparent who has had to say goodbye to their beloved children. Thank you.Wishing, most fervently, that the trial will have an outcome in your family's favor.I, so, know how much pain and anguish this is causing you. Colleen------thank you so much for the lovely pics of your favorite flower....the sunflower. We also have many different varieties of sunflowers in andaround our vegetable garden, and I agree with you.....they certainly are adelight to behold, every time you look at them. I've taken a few pics, andwill try to post. The rose we planted some years ago for Davey seems tobe rallying, and has two new buds on it. Take care, friend. PEACE TO ALL INDIGOS. Davey&Lisasmom, Sherry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted August 28, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 28, 2015 Thanks Sherry for your support...I thought the poem said it all too... Colleen, the sunflowers are very lovely....I like the red color of the one. Dee, thinking of you as school is about to start sessions here... Susan, are you moving into fall down where you live too? Or is it still really hot? Kate, sending good thoughts to you and Ross today... Thinking of those newer Dianne, Francesca, Georgina and Paula today... ************************************************************************************************ I do not know what I would have done without this group of parents here...this is such a hard thing...most people just do not want to deal with it....so they close down to you. I have learned only to share to a few. I already feel like my world has been turned upside down and do not have any emotional resources to spend with those who just don't "get it" and don't really want to have your tragedy weighing them down. The only way it works it seems is to "pretend" that all is normal for them...I find this extremely difficult to do over any length of time so I withdraw. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted August 28, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 28, 2015 Acquainted with the NightBy Robert Frost 1874–1963 I have been one acquainted with the night.I have walked out in rain—and back in rain.I have outwalked the furthest city light. I have looked down the saddest city lane.I have passed by the watchman on his beatAnd dropped my eyes, unwilling to explain. I have stood still and stopped the sound of feetWhen far away an interrupted cryCame over houses from another street, But not to call me back or say good-bye;And further still at an unearthly height,One luminary clock against the sky Proclaimed the time was neither wrong nor right.I have been one acquainted with the night. ************************************************* By the way Dee, just wanted to say that I have missed your poetry...I think it may be helpful to those newer and also just for us to read again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted August 28, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 28, 2015 Robert Frost had a very difficult life...I have his autobiography....maybe all that good poetry came from a place of darkness... I need to remind myself of this....to be 'kind' to myself...and to 'self care'....this kind of grief can overwhelm the strongest and most balanced person.... I say 'balance' because one gets this feeling of living in the 'before and after'....and hard to focus and stay in the present...and be there for our family and friends....and to take care of the take care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted August 28, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 28, 2015 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted August 28, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 28, 2015 Laurie....August has been one of those 'time out of time' spaces....and been busy with school starting...so I have been blessed with a busy schedule....sacred ground....sacred small things...sacred memories... I have John David tucked away in my heart...and taking him with me... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted August 28, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 28, 2015 Laurie-----thanks for the screen shot and poem. It really strikes true... whenwe find ourselves just 'walking'. Sometimes we feel like an observer...watchingall the things around us. the sights and sounds, and other people's activities....withoutbeing noticed. I have walked on streets in a neighboring village, and feelas though I am almost invisible, somehow. I agree.....often times, othersdon't want to be burdened with another's sorrow, so they drift away so thattheir comfort level is not disturbed too much. I guess this is the reason whyI just mostly keep to myself and my home, while not being reclusive. Itall depends on how one can cope with this painful loss. We, who havelost our darlings cannot take on the task of making other people feel atease and comfortable. We often do a lot of 'pretending'......you are right.Peace to you, friend. WISHING A GOOD NIGHT TO ALL INDIGOS. Davey&Lisasmom, Sherry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members InHeavensKeeping Posted August 28, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 28, 2015 Laurie this is Roadpeace's vision. We are raising money for them by doing 'The Great South Run' its on the 23/24 of October I'm going to walk it with my younger daughter were doing the 5k all his friends and my older daughter and some of his cousins are doing the 16k. They have really helped us especially with all the legal stuff. We've raised £900 pounds so far. Laurie we've found a Solicitor to look into our case. It's such a relief to finally find a firm who are just as interested to get the truth and justice and not just the financial side. I love the poem thank you for sharing. I put a post up last night but it's not here. ???? I had fallen asleep and woke up with my iPad open on my lap. So annoying when that happens. There are some really good screen shots on here they really get right to the heart. Thank you Susan and Laurie for these. Susan your words were so powerful you just know how it is and how to say things Thank you. Colleen I didn't realise the sun flowers were different colours like that. They are really beautiful. Love and Peace to you all Georgina xxx. ❤️ 13 days to go till James Angelversary I miss him so much ❤️xx❤️ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted August 29, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 29, 2015 Laurie, thanks, I will post some poetry later but I do so love the poem you posted...oh yes, we have seen the night. Thank you for it. Colleen, I remember when you brought those beautiful sunflowers to us at Eri-fest one year. So gorgeous. We have had some years with many kinds but the last two years, our sunflowers have been eaten by something, deer for sure but some kind of pest that ate them hollow...sad as they are so wonderful this time of year when they invite the finch to feed on the seed heads. It's as though the finch are surfing upon the flowers when the winds blow. What a beautiful week Laurie and Colleen, Sandy and all those who live in the midwest...cool and wonderful fall-like weather but of course, on Monday and the rest of next week, it is to be in the high to mid 80's. That will be our first week with kids in our classrooms. Figures doesn't it. But I have loved this week's temperatures and breezes and cricket/cicada music. And so I shall count myself lucky. More later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted August 29, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 29, 2015 Dee....if it is 'ok' with you....I would like to put the 'light in the path' on the site...for the new parents....of course...you can explain it better than me..... I just know how it sustained me....when I was the 'new' parent on here....and it still sustains me....you are such a touchstone for me....I guess it is....if you can survive...than I can...so....when you have time...please post the photo and the story with it....I never...ever get tired of you telling it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted August 29, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 29, 2015 Hi Gang, below, if it loads on, is a photo of the ray of light, a shaft of light that appeared one morning while I was standing in the forest and just after asking aloud, " Eri where are you?" I had not felt her near in a while and so I just asked her and she indeed showed me that she was right there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted August 29, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 29, 2015 Thank you....I remember you posting this...when I was that 'new parent'....we become so desperate to find some tiny word or message or phrase or guru..or medium or a star or a cloud to give us that truth that our child is 'somewhere'...I didn't care where the somewhere was...just that he is 'there' for sure...that shaft of light gave me a thread to hold on...if Eri is there...then..my John David was 'somewhere' there, too...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted August 29, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 29, 2015 Dee, thank you for once again sharing your Erica Light picture. Your writings and Erica's heart have helped me so much. That and the story of the angel light when she was called home was so meaningful. How difficult though, our hearts lie in a thousand shattered pieces as our beautiful children take flight to their heaven home... Susan, thanks for all your encouragement...I can't help but think our Angels know each other there... Georgina, thanks for sharing the site, Roadpeace. It did give me some realistic ideas for going forward towards the trial. Know that you are approaching an angelversary date soon. For me the anxiety always builds before these "dates" engraved in our hearts. Sherry, your perspective from the court process of Davey's trial and your feelings that emerge from that day and time help me feel not so alone. So many parents here have shared what they endured for the love of their child. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jeff's Mom Posted August 29, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 29, 2015 Laurie and Dee, thank you for sharing with us. I always feel a sense of total peace when I see that shaft of light. You bet that the kids most likely know one another. That is the funny thing about faith...we can be given a sign... and yet ...even though we have it staring us in the face... we refuse to believe it. It can give us so much comfort and hope. Or maybe we just don't want to believe. The weather is odd this weekend. The sky is filled with haze from the smoke that is coming from the West and Colorado, etc. The temps are quite lovely. The trees are turning quickly and the animals are busily preparing for an early winter. We saw our first flock of geese heading towards the fields to feed yesterday as we drove into the city. I hear that we are to have a mild one... but early. Where did summer go? I am thinking of everyone both new and old on this path. I am wishing you all a peaceful evening. Love, Kate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted August 30, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 30, 2015 An amazing experience Kate...thanks for sharing....when things happen....we 'second guess' too much...maybe we should take the gifts offered and simply say...thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members InHeavensKeeping Posted August 31, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 31, 2015 Dee I too like Kate cling to the shaft of light image it brings me peace and gives me hope. I look for a vision everyday from My boy. I keep remembering Wades rain deer just heaven! Thank you Laurie I'm so glad you were able to get some useful information from their site. It's nice to give you something back that's helpful as you give us all so much on here. Thank you. The link you put on " Now my reality " During the weeks leading up to “that day” I started to crumble. I kept a running mantra in my mind reminding myself that the worst day had already happened, but my heart and mind had their own agenda. Flashbacks and death words kept jabbing me until it finally took me down to revisit the raw pain from the very earlier months.This is me I'm crumbling , going over and over that the 11th is another day that we've been through worst nightmare that could ever happen but my mind keeps having the flashbacks of the day every thing keeps reminding me the sound of a siren seeing a police van or policeman lorry smell autum it just never ends. Much love a peace to all Georgina xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted August 31, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 31, 2015 As You Left Like a flame across the sky,you wrote your love in bright colorsand we stood weeping as you called usto witness your entrance to heaven. Dee Conmy Dark place And you thought that a cave was dark and twisted, Lonely-what about a heart when one grieves their child? The path is without directionwithout light for long days.We fall and hit rocky walls.We scratch our stories into rock.We teeter on the edge of sad intersections-where loss meets the sunrise-and we find our wayor we don’t. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now